are but simple women little able to doe either you or her that good which you might haue reaped by the word of God preached but yet if it please you to giue vs leaue wee will shew our mindes what a comfortable thing it is for man and wife to liue together in loue and charity Ezer Indeed I thinke no two women in the towne no nor in the whole country can shew it better then you because you know what it is by experience Abig. Wee thanke God wee both haue experience of it to our comforts and so would we that you had with the losse of the best horse or cow that either of vs haue Ezer I thanke you both and I had rather then the best gelding in my stable with twenty pound vpon his backe Abig. Seeing then that peace betweene man and wife is so comfortable you would so gladly enioy it with so great losse will you bee content to hearken and bee thankefull to God if that wee shew you a direct way how you and your wife might agree together as long as you shall liue Ezer Be contented say you yea be glad of the time that euer you set footing ouer my threshold I haue had so much vnquietnesse alreadie that me thinkes a little peace would be as a little paradice to my soule but yet if my wife did know that I desired and labored for peace shée would be the further off it except God wrought aboue ordinary in her Abig. We are but women therefore something bashfull as it beseemes vs to speake vnto you beeing a man of these matters yet vnder leaue and correction we will do our good wil to declare those things which wee haue learned and partly know by experience Ezer You are both ancient and I am but young and my wife also and therefore I would you could direct and tell vs a way how to liue quietly Abig. First of all before you can loue one another as you ought you must labour for the loue of God which must bee shed abroad in your heartes the which loue will cause you to loue one another Ezer I hope wee haue the loue of God already otherwise I am of the minde that hee would either punish vs or else take his blessings from vs. Abig. Doe you not thinke this a great punishment that you cannot agree Truly I may safely say that it is a punishment both to your bodies and soules Ezer I confesse indeed that it is a punishment but yet I hope that God loueth many men women that yet fall out betwixt themselues Abig. Surely if there bee continuall strife it is an euident signe that the Lord loueth not the one of them if not both Ezer But how should wee know whom it is that the Lord doth not loue Abig. They which are the cause of the continuing and breeding of the broiles Ezer That is my Xantip Abig. But who will you be iudged by Ezer By God and the country Abig. Well God iudgeth the heart for your selfe we haue heard that you haue a good report among your neighbours therefore I haue the better hope of you and therefore I pray you let me aske you one question Ezer Aske me two if you will I will tell you if I can I like your talke so well Abig. What thinke you is the loue of God to his children Ezer That is too hard a question for me to answer I doe not professe my selfe a Diuine Abig. But euery Christian ought to be a Diuine especially in such principles as the loue of God is without which none possible can be saued in this life nor in the life to come Ezer I do beleeue verily that whomsoeuer the Lord loues not them hee hates and whomsoeuer he hates vpon them abides his wrath and heauy displeasure till hee bestow vpon them his loue and therefore I pray you if you can shew me what the loue of God is and I will gladly heare you Abig. The singular loue of God vnto his elect is that whereby he loueth them in himselfe and hath adopted them in his sonne Christ before the foundations of the world and hereto pertaines predestination vocation the gift of faith and of the spirit iustification regeneration and eternall saluation with whatsoeuer is good comfortable and profitable for them in this life And here by your patience it shall not bee amisse to shew likewise the loue of Christ vnto his Church because we are to fetch our light from his candle Ezer I pray you do for I haue both good leasure and pleasure to heare you Abig. Our Lord Iesus Christ being in the throne of glory yea being the Lord of glory disrobed himselfe and came downe from heauen and of God became man for our sakes taking our nature vpon him endured much misery for the space of 30 yeares vpward was as an exile amongst his cruell enemies which reproched buffeted blasphemed persecuted him vnto death besides that hee suffered the wrathfull displeasure of his Father in his soule and the grieuous torments of hell that were due vnto vs that he might free vs therefrom as it is written The chastisemēt of our peace was laid vpon him by his stripes are we healed Esay 53. Hee was made a curse for the sinne of man that so man might in him bee blessed Therefore neighbour how ought these things to worke vpon our consciences and to force euery one of vs particularly to say O miserable wretch that I am that for my sinne my Sauiour should suffer such horrible punishment ô sweet Sauiour how am I bound to praise and thanke thee Who am I that thou shouldest thinke much lesse looke on me or doe any thing for me seeing that I haue so many waies offended thee But this is thy mercy yea thine incomprehensible and vnspeakeable loue that thou shouldest not onely free me from death and damnation but bring me to life and saluation euen to a better estate then Adam was in before his fall O the admirable mercy of God and the incomprehensible loue of Christ how am I bound vnto thee What thankes and praise is due vnto thy maiesty for these vnspeakeable blessings for that thou hast not onely freed me from eternal misery but hast brought me vnto euerlasting happines and made me one with thee as thou art one with thy Father that I might bee glorified in thee as thou art in him to this end thou hast made me bone of thy bone and flesh of thy flesh so that thou art become wholly mine with all things that belong to thee Eul. O good neighbour consider of this vnspeakeable loue of God and his Son Christ towards his whole Church in generall and to euery one of his children in particular how that the Lord of his free grace hath wrought in vs repentance and faith and hath shed his loue abroad in our hearts and assured vs of the frée pardon of all our sinnes and of his euerlasting loue
and fauour in his Sonne Christ Iesus our Lord and hath made vs one with himselfe his Sonne partakers of his diuine nature and hath filled our hearts with vnspeakeable comfort and ioy of the holy Ghost which wee desired so much in the daies of our affliction And further hath giuen vnto vs his Spirit which is the earnest pennie of our euerlasting happinesse and which doth sanctifie vs daily more and more and strengthen vs to euery good worke and hath promised that no good thing shall be wanting vnto vs if we will be obedient vnto him How ought these things to cause vs to loue God againe and for his sake to loue one another seeing that he of his méere mercy hath made vs partakers of such happinesse Ezer They are happy indeede that haue all these things bestowed vpon them which you haue spoken of Abig. Euery true Christian is in such a happy estate before they can find sound comfort vnto their soules or before they can performe any duty pleasing vnto God or before they can loue their wiues as they ought Ezer Then there are but few that loue their wiues as they ought Abig. It is true indéed and more is the pitty For some loue their wiues for their lusts sake some for their beauties sake some for their riches sake some for their friends sake some for natures sake some for necessities sake because they sée if they should not it would not stand with their quiet profite credit But take once away the aforesaid causes their loue falles to the ground If it bee for lust when that is satisfied he rather hates thē loues her as Ammon did his sister 2. Sam. 13.15 if for beauty as that vanisheth his loue decaieth if for riches nature or friends sake as they lessen his loue lessens with them if it be for necessitie it is counterfaite or if she winne his loue as some doe by her faire language then it turneth as the winde Finally if it be for any outward cause or for all the causes vnder the cope of heauen without the loue of God it will bee vncomfortable vnconstant and vnsound but if it be for the loue of God though for no other cause in the earth it wil be vndefiled comfortable continuall and increase more and more But all loue else whatsoeuer that proceedes from the husbande to the wife and from the wife to the husband is rebellion against God and the more a man loues his wife or the wife her husband the more they sinne against God Howsoeuer this may séeme harsh vnto worldly men yet that which doth ensue will make it plaine for the more that both husband and wife loue each other without louing God the more they will seeke to fulfill their fleshly lusts though they be neuer so much against God and his word Therfore it behoues euery man to loue his wife with such loue as Christ did his Church Ezer What manner of loue was that Abig. It was not fleshly but spirituall not earthly but heauenly Ezer But must he not loue her outwardly and prouide such things for her as are necessary profitable and comfortable for the preseruing and cherishing of her body Abig. Yes it is the part and dutie of euery man chiefly of a Christian so to doe as I would haue shewed you anon or else he shall not onely sinne against her but against God also Ezer I pray you now shew how a man must first shew his loue to his wife and what is the first fruit of his loue Abig. In the first place hee must giue himselfe vnto God with fasting prayer that the Lord would blesse his enterprises and proceedings and when he hath humbled himselfe vnto God he must not thinke much to humble him selfe to his wife Eul. This wil be harsh vnto the most men and they will hardly or neuer bee brought vnto it Abig. But if they will be Christian men they must do it and that for these causes First because it is not hurtfull but good and profitable not against the word but warrantable and commanded by it And lastly because Christ hath giuen them example so to do Eul. I pray you if you can shew these things more plainly Abig. For the first if you looke from the beginning of Genesis to the latter end of the Apocalypse you shall neuer finde it spoken against either openly nor inclusiuely and therupon I gather that seeing it is profitable it may bee practised in a ciuil and courteous manner And againe humility is a vertue and the more eminent place a man is in the more it doth adorne him if he be endued with it And further though he bee in neuer so high a place hee is commanded to humble himselfe to his brethren yea and to make himselfe as he is a Christian equall with them of the lower sort Now if it bee his dutie to humble himselfe towards euery one to make himselfe equall with those of the lowest sort then much more to his wife Againe they are commanded to honour their wiues as the weaker vessels that is as I take it not onely to beare with their wiues infirmities but to submit their mindes vnto them in that which is good kindly to intreate them in humblenesse of minde and to aduance their credit and good name and to stand in their defence against whomsoeuer that oppose themselues against them And lastly by Christs example they are to be lowly and humbly to submit themselues vnto their wiues as he doth vnto his Church and people Ezer How doth Christ humbly submit himselfe vnto his Church and people Abig. Christ doth submit and humble himselfe vnto his Church and people both in himselfe and by others His submissiō is shewed both by his words gesture and actions By his words when he louingly intreats her to leaue her corruptions and to accept of his louing fauour and kindnesse which he offers vnto her as a token of his loue and vnfaigned desire he hath that she should bee at peace with him and to the end that he might win her loue hee makes many gracious and beauteous promises vnto her yea hee bestowes many rich treasures vpon her suing wooing of her and sometimes when she turnes her backe vpon him hee turnes his face to her saying what ailes my loue my doue my vndefiled spouse when she is sad he wil make her ioyful many times when shée frownes hée will looke vpon her with a chearefull countenance And againe he attendeth and waiteth at the gates of her portall saying Behold I stand at the doore and knocke open vnto me my loue my doue and vndefiled And moreouer for his Churches sake which is his wife he bended his knées and humbled himselfe vnto the earth yea vnto death and that vnto the most shamefull and horrible death of the crosse What baesnesse did hee refuse to honour her Consider the reproches and indignities he endured of the paines miseries
you doe in such a case Ezer Surely if possible I could I would stoppe their mouthes that they should not vtter it lest I should bee shamed Eul. Why then if your wife commit not such vgly offences how much more ought you to keepe silence and though one or two know of it to intreate them to make no words seeing you haue confessed that the more vgly and grieuous your offences are the more carefull you would bée lest they should be spread abroad therefore the more your wiues infirmities are the more you are to doe the office of a good physition euen to labour to cure them if you cannot at least to couer them as it is written Vpon your vncomely members put more comelinesse on the which may not vnfitly bee applied to this matter Thy wife is one of thy principall members if she bée vncomly any way put thou more comlinesse on if shee be not so beautifull as thou desirest couer it with contentation if not so prouident as shee ought couer that with thy good husbandry if she bée not so wise as thou wishest couer that with thy prudency If shee be not so louing as is fit couer that with the skirts of thy loue if cholericke couer it with patience and although shee faile in dutie which shee ought yet shée may challenge yours as due debt as long as shee is your wife you are bound to giue honour to her as to the weaker vessell Eul. If these things were well considered of many men much strife and terrible broiles would be left betweene man and wife Ezer Yea but I must needs tel you that these things can hardly be digested for if wee should yeeld thus much to our wiues they would make starke fooles of vs. Abig. No not so sir for you shoud see the blessing of God vpon you which would mitigate the swelling and raging of your wiues affections I pray you tell me sir say that you had a soare arme grieuously wounded or had drunke a cup of poyson or were sicke neere vnto death what would you do in these cases Ezer If I had a soare I would haue a salue according to the nature and bignesse of the wound or if I had drunke poyson I would preseÌ„tly séeke a remedy to expell it or if I were sicke néere vnto death I would aske the counsell of the physition and follow the same and the more sicke that I should bee the more would I make of my selfe Abig. Euen so you must do to your wife the greater that her soare is the better your salue must be and the greater her wound is the more must bee your plaister and the skilfuller surgian is required and the more her sickenes is the more carefull tender you must be ouer her Ezer Neither paines care nor cost should be wanting if I were in hope to do her good Abig. The captaine cannot promise his souldiers victory before they fight nor the physition his patient health before he minister vnto him but yet Christ Iesus our captaine hath promised you victory if that you will be directed by him Ezer Yes with all my heart Abig. This then is your precept that you loue your wife as hee did his Church Ezer I will try if that I can win her by kindnesse Abig. That must bee the way if euer you win her and the meanes whereby you must keepe her being won Now seeing wee haue proceeded thus farre if you please I will you shew the causes as I haue heard of a learned and godly man wherfore the husband should loue his wife Ezer Do so then with a good will and I would euery cause were a cord to tie mée vnto it Abig. The causes are so weighty yea euery one of them so mightie that they may not onely be termed hempeÌ„ cords but rather strong yron chaines to tie bind not onely you but euery man to his wife in the vnseparable knot of loue The first is because she is the creature of God made of the same matter and nature that you are The second is beecause shee is your wife and the third is because shee either is or may be a Christian Now for the first for that shee is the creature of God made of the same matter and nature that your selfe is you are to loue her though shee be your enimie as it is written Loue your enimies that is as they are the creatures of God made in his image not for their owne sakes yet for Gods sake Secondly because she is your wife For this cause shal a man leaue father and mother and cleaue to his wife and they shall be one flesh This doth so glue and ioyne man and wife together that no vnkindnesse or wickednesse except adultery ought to separate them The third cause that ought to ioyne man and wife in affection together is in that she either is or may be a Christian if that she be then you are to loue her for that shee is called vnto the same profession baptized with the same baptisme sanctified and renewed by the same Spirit bought with the same price partaker of the same hope faith and communion of Saints and of the same graces and heauenly riches in Christ Iesus and made heire of one and the same kingdome of glorie for euer to reigne with God and his Christ in the presence of his holy Angles world without end These things I say ought to cause a man to loue his wife to cherish maintaine and prouide for her like a woman to comfort her as his owne bowels Now where this true loue is there wil nothing that is either necessary profitable or coÌ„fortable for the wife bee wanting if that possible her husband can procure it I would all husbands would marke this For according to his loue will his care be to prouide for her and after his care will his diligence bee to please her and as hee pleaseth her so shall hee haue comfort by her Eul. This may serue to reproue the corrupt proud churlish affections of many men which will rather seeke to crosse them in that which is good and godly Ezer It is true and much more are they to blame that tirannously will rule yea ouerrule and that without all rule credit or honestie Eul. Now I perceiue neighhour that your name nature doe agrée well together Ezer What should I doe I must needes speake the truth and that which I haue knowne by mine owne experience for I haue bene much inclined to offend this way God forgiue me and others also whom I know haue bene twice as bad as my selfe Eul. The worse they are this way the worse it is for themselues for as it is said the hasty man neuer wants woe so I thinke I may say the tyrant shall neuer want a shrew Abig. I would such men would but a little consider how the Lord doth â—â—tigate their authority ouer their wiues when he saith that they should honour them