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A13731 The vanitee of this world Thomas, William, Clerk of the Council to Edward VI. 1549 (1549) STC 24023; ESTC S119757 25,185 74

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other shouldest thou haue dooen than rule it and gouerne it well Uerily thou haddest been more woorthy to haue been called kynge if thou haddest taried at home and gouerned well thyne owne than for all thy conquestes in vsurpyng vpon others better it had ben for the to haue knowen how to haue gouerned thy selfe and to haue eschewed wine and ambicion than to file thy handes with the bloud of thy deerest and most faiethfull friendes or to suffre thy selfe to be called kyng of the worlde or euer thou hadst gotten a small parte therof persuadyng the people furthermore that thou wast the sonne of god But leaue we now the foolishe Alexander who rather hath merited the name of tyranne than of kynge and let vs come to conclude of the lawfull lorde that seeyng his office to bee suche as here before I haue rehersed and as it is in deede I can not see any thyng therin that shulde geue man cause muche to desyre it For a more easie thyng it is a great deale to be gouerned than pleasaunt to gouerne others ¶ What a tyranne is ANd now that I haue declared ▪ what a lawfull lorde ought to be it maie easily be considered what a tyranne is and in few woordes to descriue hym He that maketh his wil a law and for hym selfe woorketh al A tyranne I saie and not a prince you maie hym cal And lyke as these kynde of men appearyng gloriousely to the sight accompanied and enuironned of a numbre of gentilmen and ministers that folow theim and serue theim doe represent a certaine outwarde similitude of felicitee Euin so inwardely they are on the tother syde turmented with corsies and passions of the minde that nother theyr gardes nor theyr armures can defende theyr ill consciences from the infernall furies Thei neuer haue good time nor rest In company of theyr owne wyfes whiche is wont to be most comfortable vnto man they haue almost no ioie and amongest theyr owne children wherin man shuld reioice they seeme to be amonge theyr enemies Of the sweete fruite of friendship they neuer taste because that not findyng in theyr owne hertes to loue any man they can not conceiue how any man should loue them againe If they eate or drinke they feare poyson If they slepe thei dreame of armes bloud persecucion and death and continually suspect that whiche they know theim selfes woorthy to haue and are a fearde of as many as be theyr subiectes Wherof it foloweth that they trust no man And some there haue been that woulde neuer goe to bedde with theyr owne wyfes but that thei would fyrst serche the chamber wheather there were any body hidde and sometyme serche the verie clothes of the bedde for feare of knifes and many of theim woulde cause mens beardes theyr owne daughters heare for dreade of lyke foolisshenesse to be cut of Amongest all other Charles the .vii. frenche king fearing to be poysoned rested certaine daies without takyng any meate wherof he sickened and so thinkyng to flee death fell into it But to passe ouer the rehersal of the violent and shamefull endes that numbres of them haue made in all ages and in all nacions I conclude that there is none astate so vnhappy as that of tyrannes who either must liue miserablie or die sklaunderfully I forbeare to reken vppe the troubles that thei haue be thei lawfull lordes or tyrannes in theyr daiely warres the losse of theyr men the destruction of their citees the spoyle of their coūtreis the discoumfiture of theyr armies theyr owne captiuitee and a thousande other aduersitees that are commenlie seen So that in effect lordship is more bitter than sweete and consequently a thyng not to be desyred And though well all the sweetenesse of the worlde were to be founde therin yet ought we not therin to put the ende of our desires For as the apostle Iames saieth Our life is none other but a vapour whiche appeareth a little while and incontinently is dissolued ¶ That fame is a vaine thyng ANd as for glorie and fame it is true that it semeth euery man as he is more excellent of spyrite the more doeth he desyre it whiche is clerely seen in euery studie and in euery arte as well in armes as in learning as well in peincture as in grauyng bothe in the handicraftes and also in housbandrie in all trauailes in all peines and in all perilles it seemeth none other sauour to be so sweete as the hope to atteigne glorie therof Yea and further this desyre is so farre entred into our myndes that they whiche write bookes in dispraise of glorie purtyng to theyr names seeke that whiche they persuade other men to auoyde And this was it that moued Alexander before the tombe of Achilles to sighe and saie Happie wast thou Achilles suche grace to fynde As the verse of Homer to kepe thyne actes in mynde And the same was it that moued Iulius Caesar at the sight of the image of Alexander to sighe because at that age that Alexander had doen so many thynges he yet had dooen nothyng woorthy of memorie The lyke of whiche thyng that hapned vnto Caesar of Alexander happened also to Themistocles of Miltiades whose tropheys notable markes of passed victories woulde not suffer hym to slepe And lyke as Alexander for the desyre of glorie was liberall vnto writers euin so was Caesar diligent in writyng his owne commentaries to helpe theim that woulde write of hym And Themistocles saied that he coulde heare no sweeter voice than of theim that shoulde syng his owne praises Some moued through this desyre haue builded citees and called them after theyr owne names some haue made theim goodly houses with puttyng vnto theim lykewise the titles of theyr names some haue sette vp goodly sepultures and some goodly images thynkyng to make theim selfes therwith perpetuall But what is all this in respect of the life it selfe whiche many men haue spente onely for loue of this glorie and fame For examples wherof I coulde reken vp noumbres of men that who by one waie and who by an other haue disposed theim selfes vnto wilfull death And amongest all other Empedocles in hope to deifie his name Threw hym selfe quicke into Ethnas flame But what folowed therof In stede of the godhead that he presupposed should haue folowed he hath left behynde hym a notable memorie of his folie And yet not contented with this there haue been some that with their naughty and wicked dooynges haue sought to purchace immortalitee vnto their names as Caligula seeyng nothyng woorthie wherof there shoulde remayne any memorie of hym wisshed that in his tyme there myghte some notable ●uyne happen that shoulde geue men cause to reherse his name And the emperour Adrian caused those to be slayne that he myght here shoulde excell him in any thyng to the entent he myght remayne as most excellent of his tyme. Besides this there haue been temples burned and other fouler thynges dooen onely for the desire
Cannas to Rome Wherfore not without cause did the citee of Sparta longe tyme withhold the eies of hir citisins farre from the delices of Asia and Scipio Emilius sent into Spaine incontinently as he arriued at the armie commaunded that all those thynges whiche serued the army for pleasure shoulde immediately be taken awaie For the whiche bothe the Lacedemoniens and Scipio deserued no lesse commendacion than Xerxes mearited blame in rewardyng theym that were new inuentours of deliciouse thinges and so did Tyberius themperour in erectyng a new office ouer the pleasures in Rome But what woordes maie be sufficient woorthily to derect the vilenesse of Aristippus Who beyng nourisshed with moste holie erudicion in the schole of Socrates onely to atteigne pleasure disposed hym selfe to liue in the court of Denys the tyranne supportyng to be spitted on and a thousande other villainies whiche he regarded not as longe as he myght with pleasure fill his bealy And therfore did Diogenes woorthily call hym the kynges dogge For though he had called hym the kynges swyne me seemeth he shoulbe haue dooen him no great wronge And lyke as this mans life of all men of good opinion deserueth reproche euin so the sentence of Epicure who otherwise had ben a verie commendable man maie rather a great deale be folowed than defended in that he saied he knewe not how to finde any pleasant thyng if the taste of meates and the vse of venereall thynges were taken awaie ¶ How abhominable the vice of glotonie is TOuchyng the fyrst wherof which is the pleasure in eatyng and drinkyng I can not see what greatter enemie nature maie haue For wheras she hath geuen vs appetite to conserue our lifes withall we contrariwyse liue onely to serue our appetites as it doeth well appeare by the deserued rewarde that foloweth therof vnto theim that with delicate meates and drinkes spend theyr lyues For they in maner enioie nothyng of that taste that nature hath graunted vs whan in steede of appetite that shulde call theim to their meates thei are faine a thousande waies to deuise how thei maie gette theim selfes an appetite ▪ and so doe lacke the true pleasure and swetenesse of that wherin thei most delite Truely better sauour did Persians fynde in theyr Nasturtio a grosse meate that they vsed than euer did Marke Antonie or Cleopatra in theyr moste sumptuouse and prodigall bankettes or than euer didde Uitellius amongest all the sauourye delycacyes brought hym from so many countreis and beyonde so many seas And therfore muche commendable was the aunsweare of Alexander vnto the queene of Caria who daiely sente hym exquisite meates diligently dressed beyng this That his cookes were better than hirs to make his meate sauourie meanyng his trauaile by nyght that made hym dyne well and his sobre diner that made him to suppe well Artaxerxes brother vnto Cyrus hauyng lost his prouision in a certeine discoumfiture was constreigned to eate barly bread and dried figges for verie hunger whiche so muche pleased hym that he saied O what a pleasure is this that I neuer tasted the like before Wherfore I conclude it to be muche superfluouse the studie and sekyng for the varietee or deintethnesse of meates seyng the delite of the taste consisteth not in the qualitees of thē but in the appetite of the man Besydes that the true waie longe to enioie a pleasant taste is a sobre life For who otherwise dooeth seeke it thynkyng to satisfie him selfe hyndreth surelie the longe tyme that he myght els enioie nothyng in this worlde being a greatter shortner of mans life thā the pleasing of the mouth whiche bringeth hym to a thousande infyrmitees the most greuouse that man maie haue And what other waie is there that can so soone consume our substaunce and patrimonies what thyng can so soone take from vs our senses and vnderstandyng what thyng is more apte to make vs disclose our secretes And is there any other that so promptly bringeth vs in sklaunder and quarelles as it No surely and therfore saith the prophete Esaie well Wo bee to theim that rise early to go to the tauernes Lyke as in the gospell it is written that the riche man who before had liued deliciousely liftyng vp his eies from hell desired Lazarus that before died at his dore for hunger to descende out of the boasome of Abraham to refreshe him in his burnyng heate ¶ How abhominable Lecherie is BUt to come vnto thother pleasure that Epicure esteemeth to consist in carnall copulacion the same is called of Plato a vehement and furiouse pleasure And before hym Sophocles the Poete hadde named it a fierse and a cruell tyranne not without good cause For this furie obteigneth no sooner the dominion ouer mans minde but that it so doeth rauishe him that skarcely may he attend to any other thyng though well he happen to fynde his owne errour yet for all that ceaseth he not to folow it He seeth the better but hym nothyng it dooeth preuaile For folowyng the woorse he sheweth hym selfe al fraile And what other affection hath there ben seen that euer hath brought man and woman to so headlong entreprises to so perillous workes to so wicked dedes as this Truely as I beleue none For this enduced Semiramis to the vnlaufull embracinges of hir owne sonne And this made Artaxerxes vnto .ccclx. women that he kepte to ioygne in the noumbre of his concubines .ii. of his owne daughters What shall I saie of Euridice Queene of Macedonie that to geue hir realme vnto an adoulterer poysoned hir owne soonnes What of Cambises and of Caligula that violated theyr owne systers I woull not speake of the vnnaturall vse of Tyberius and woull also passe ouer in silence the abhominacion of Nero of Heliogabalus of other Romaine emperours whose vices to remembre maketh me to abhorre the rehersall of theyr names Yet will I not forgette Ruben and Absalon that shamed not to couple with their fathers women But he that woul well vnderstande how venemouse a pestilence this furie is let him behold Salomon the lyght of sapience who hauyng DCC wyfes and CCC concubines ouercomen of rage suffered hym selfe to fall from the true god and to be ledde into idolatrie I forbeare the most filthie examples wherof the holie scriptures are no lesse full then the profane and wyll onely reherse the vnbrideled appetite of theim that haue been enduced to embrace and to vse the dead carcasses whiche both in the auncient and also in the later memories are euident besides that I coulde reken How Pasiphe so foule applied hir beastly wit That in a cowes hyde to a bull hir selfe she knitte Whiche I saie not to geue auctoritee withall vnto the fable but vnder this fable to saie that peraduenture in these our daies there haue been knowen more than one of suche exaumples no lesse foule odious and abhominable then the filthie vice is wherof thei procede whiche being so abhominable as it is is many tymes