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A08262 No-body, and some-body· With the true chronicle historie of Elydure, who was fortunately three seuerall times crowned King of England. The true coppy thereof, as it hath beene acted by the Queens Maiesties Seruants. 1606 (1606) STC 18597; ESTC S113225 33,975 70

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NO-BODY AND SOME-BODY With the true Chronicle Historie of Elydure who was fortunately three seuerall times crowned King of England The true Coppy thereof as it hath beene acted by the Queens Maiesties Seruants Printed for Iohn Trundle and are to be sold at his shop in Barbican at the signe of No-body The Prologue A subiect of no subiect we present for No-body is Nothing Who of nothing can something make It is a worke beyond the power of wit And yet inuention is ripe A morrall meaning you must then expect grounded on lesser then a shadowes shadow Promising nothing wher there wants a toong And deeds as few be done by No-bodie Yet something out of nothing we will shew To gaine your loues to whome our selues we owe NO-BODY AND SOME-BODY Enter Cornwell and Martianus Corn. MY Lord Martianus Mar. My Lord of Cornwell Corn. Morrow Mar. Morrow Corn. You are sad my Lord Mar. You melancholy Corne. So The state it selfe mournes in a robe of Wo Mar, For the decease of Archigalloes vertues I vnderstand you Noble minded Cornwell What generous spirit drawes this Brittish ayre But droops at Archigalloes gouernement corn And reason Martianus when the Sunne Struggles to be deliuered from the wombe Of an obscure Eclipse doth not the earth Mourne to behold his shine envelloped O Corbonon when I did close thine eyes I gaue release to Britaines miseries Enter Elydure Mar. Good morrow to Prince Elydure Elid. The same to you and you you are sad my Lordes your harts I thinke are frosty for your blood Seemes crvsted in your faces like the dew In a September morne how fares the king Haue you yet bid good morrow to his highnes Corn. The kings not stirring yet Enter Vïgenius and Peridure Perid Yonder 's old Cornwell come Vïgenius Wee le haue some sport with him Vig. Brother content Perid. Good morrow to you brother Elydure Cornwel God morrow to Cornwell Vig. Morrow old gray-beard Corn. My beards not so gray as your wits greene Vig. And why so Perid. We shall ha you come out now with some reason that was borne in my great grand sires time Corn. Would you would proue as honest princes as your great graundsire was or halfe so wise as your elder brother was there 's a Couple of you Sfoote I am ashamed you should be of the blood royall Perid. And why father vvinter Corn. You doe not knovv your state there 's Elydure Your elder brother next vnto the King He plies his booke vvhen shall you see him trace Lasciuious Archigallo through the streets And fight with common hacksters hand to hand To wrest from them their goods and dignityes Perid. You are to saucy Cornwell Vig. Bridle your spirit Elyd. Your words are dangerous good honest subiect Old reuerent states-man faithful seruitor Doe not traduce the King hee s vertuous Or say he tread somewhat besides the line Of vertuous gouernment his regality Brookes not taxation kings greatest royalties Are that their subiects must aplaud their deedes As well as beare them their prerogatiues Are murall interponents twixt the world And their proceedings Corn. Well well I haue serued foure kings And none of all those foure but would haue ventured Their safeties on old Cornwels constancy But that 's all one now I am cald a dotard Go to though now my limbes be starke and stiffe When Cornwels dead Brittayne I know will want So strong a prop Alasse I needs must weepe And shed teares in abundance when I thinke How Archigallo wrongs his gouernment Vig. Nay now you le fall into your techy humor Enter Lord Sicophant Sicoph. My Lords Princes I should haue said and after Lords I am the Vsher and Harbinger vnto the kings most Excellent person and his Maiesty Vig. Is fourth comming Sicoph. Or comming fourth hard by or at hand will you Put your gestures of attendaunce on to giue his Maiestie the Bon-ioure Enter Archigallo and two Lords Morgan Malgo. All Good morrow to our soueraigne Archigallo Arch. Morrow Corn. Why do you frowne vpon your seruants king We loue you and you ought to fauor vs Will you to Counsel Heere 's petitions Complaints and controuersies twixt your subiects Appealing all to you Arch. Le ts see those papers A controuersie betwixt the Lord Morgan and the Lord Malgo concerning their Tytles to the Southerne Island We know this cause and what their titles be You claime it by inheritance Morg. My liege I do Arch. You by the marriage of Lord Morgans mother To whom it was left ioynture Malgo. True gratious Soueraigne Arch. Whose euidence is strongest to which part Inclines the censures of our learned Iudges Morgan We come not heer to plead before your grace But humblie to intreat your Maiestie Peruse our euidence and censure it According to your wisedome Arch. What I determine then you le yeeld vnto Both We will my Soueraigne Arch. Then that Southerne I le we take to our protection and make you Lord gouernor thereof Sicoph. I humblie thanke your highnesse Mal. I hope your Maiesty Arch. Replie not I but take it to my selfe Because I would not haue dissention betwixt two peeres I loue to see you friends And now the Islands mine your quarrell ends What 's next A poore Nothern mans humble petition Which is the plaintiue Enter clowne Wench and Rafe Rafe I if it please your Maiestie I was betrothed to this maid Arch. Is this true my Wench Wench T is verie true and like your maiestie but this tempting fellow after that most felloniously stole my hart awaie fro me caried it into the church and I running after him to get my hart againe was there married to this other man clown T is verie true and like your maiesty though Raphe were once looke for a propper man yet when I came in place it appeared otherwise if your highnesse note his leg and mine there is ods and for a foot I dare compare I haue a wast to and though I say it that shoulde not saye it there are faces in place of Gods making Arch. Thou art a proper fellow and this wench is thine by lawfull marriage clown Rafe you haue your answer you may be gon your onely way to saue charges is to buy a halpenniwoorth of Hob-nailes for your shooes Alasse you might haue looked into this before go silly Rafe go away vanish Arch. Is not this Lasse a pretty Neat browne Wrench Sicoph. She is my liege and mettell I dare warrant Arch. Fellow how long hast thou been married Clown I was as they say coupled the same day that my country man Raphe begunne the law for to tell your Maiestie the truth we are yet both virgins it did neuer freese betwixt vs two in a bed I assure your grace Arch. Didst neuer lie with thy wife Clown Neuer yet but nowe your Maiestie hath ended the matter I le be so bold as take possession Arch. Harke my wench wilt leaue these rusticke fellowes stay with me Wench What will your
th Garden-allies and vndid himselfe somebody swaggered with the watch last night was carried to the counter somebody once pickt a pocket in this Play-house yard Was hoysted on the stage and shamd about it Clow. Ha ha hath my maister met with you no. Alasse my liege your honest No-bodie Builds Churches in these dayes and Hospitals Releeues the seuerall prisons in the Citty Redeemes the needy debtor from the hole And when this somebody brings infant children And leaues them in the night at strangers doores Nobody fathers them prouides them nurses What should I say your highnes loue I craue That am all iust corn Then somebodie 's a knaue sicoph. If neyther citty nor countrie wil preuaile to him with the court ma somebody and there you will match him som. Then touching his abuses in the court corn I marrie Nobody what say you to this See heere are dangerous Libils gainst the state And no name to them therefore nobodies Mar. Besides strange rumors and false buzzing tales Of mutinous leesings raisd by No-body Malg. False dice and Cheating brought euen to the presence and who dares be so impudently knauish Vnlesse some fellow of your name and garbe Morg. Cards of aduantage with such cheating tricks Brought euen amongst the noblest of the land And when these cosening shifts are once discouered There is no cheater found saue No-body som. How canst thou answer these nobo. Euen as the rest Are libels cast if nobody did make them And no-bodies name to them they are no libels For he that sets his name to any slander Makes it by that no libell this aproues He forgd those slanderous writs to scandall me And for false cards and dice let my great slops And his big bellied dublet both be sercht And see which harbors most hipocrisie queene Let them both be sercht sico. I le take my leaue of the presence Clow. nay M. sicophant wee le haue the inside of your pockets translated to wee le see what stuffyng they haue I le take a little paines with you Elid. What haue you there in nobodyes pockets Corn. Here are my liedge bonds forfeit by poore men Which he releast out of the vsurers hands And canceld Leases likewise forfeited By him repurchast These peticions Of many poore men to preferre their sutes Vnto your highnesse Elid. Thou arte Iust we know All great mens pockets should be lined so queene What bumbast beares his gorge Mar. False Cards false Dice The kings hand counterfeit Bonds put in sute to gaine the forfitures forgd deedes to cheate men of their ancient land And thousand such like trashe Clo. Nay looke you heere heares one that for his bones is pretily stuft Heare 's fulloms and gourds heere 's tall-men low-men Heere tray duce ace passedge comes a pace som. Mercy great King Sicoph. Mercy my Soueraigne Corn. My liedge you cannot to be seuere in punishing Those monstrous crimes the onely staine and blemish To the weale-publike Eli. Villaines heare your doome Thou that hast bin the oppressyon of the poore Shalt bee more poore then penury it selfe All that thou hast is forfit to the Law For thy extortion I will haue thee branded Vpon the forhead with the letter F. For Cheating whipt for forging loose thine eares Last for a basing of thy Soueraignes Coyne And traitrous impresse of our kingly seale Suffer the death of traitors Beare him hence som. Since I must needs be martird graunt me this That No-body may whip or torture me Or hang me for a traitor Morg Away with him Som. Or if needs I must dye a traitors death That No-body may see me when I dye Malg. Hence with the traitor Clo. I know by your complexion you wer ripe for the hangman but now to this leane Gentleman Lady Let me doome him smoth spaniel soothing grome Slicke Oyly knaue egregious parasite Thou turning vane and changing Weather-cocke My sentence is thou shalt be naked stript And by the citty beadles soundly whipt Clow. I le make bold to see th execution No. Well hath the King decreed now by your highnesse patience let No-body borrow a word or two of Euery-body The Epilogue Heer if you wonder why the king Elidurus bestowes nothing on me for all my good seruices in his land if the multitude shuld say he hath preferd No-body Some-body or other would say it were not well done for in doing good to No-body he should but get himselfe an il name Therefore I will leaue my sute to him and turne to you Kinde Gentleman if any-body heere dislike No-body then I hope Euery-body haue pleased you for being offended with no-body nor Any-body can finde himselfe agrieued Gentlemen they haue a cold sute that haue no-body to speak in their cause and therefore blame vs not to feare yet our comfort is this if no-body haue offended you cannot blame No-body for it or rather we will finde Some-body heareafter shall make good the fault that no-body hath done and so I craue the generall grace of Euery-body Eli. now forward Lords long may our glories stand Three sundry times Crownd king of this faire land Exeunt FINIS SOME-BODY