as may conduce to the honour of your Ma'ts person safety the comfort of your people and vnyting of both the Realmes against the common enemies of the reformed religion and your Ma'ts petitioners shall c. The names of such Earles and Barrons as subscribed this petion vi'zt Earles Bedford Hartford Essex Mougraue Warwick Bullingbrooke Rutland Lincoln Exetor Uicecomptes Lord Say Seale Mandifeeld Brooke Harford North Willoby Sauell Wharton Loveles Saint John Articles of agreement made concluded and done this 28 of Sep'ter in the yeare of grace 1641. and of the world 5662. By and betweene the high and mighty Prince Lucifer King of sticks and Phlegeton the holy and most superstcious Primate of the roman Church the Cardinals Bishops Iesuites priests and Semenaries of the one party And Iudge bribery Lawyer corruption Aturny contencion Solissitor Sedition Iustice Conivence Iaylor opression and State Negligence of the other party In manner and forme following Imprimis IT is this day mutually agreed by betweene the seuerall parties aboue named That there shal be a league offenciue defenciue concluded confirmed by both parties at or before Holy roode day next insuing the date hereof Item That whereas there hath binn lately by the subtill practises of some Parliamentary reformists a discord and discension raised betweene the state ecleasiasticke and the State of the Inns of court whereby there hath hapned no small preiudice vnto the eclesiasticke state the likes whereof is to be doubted may also fall vpon the state of the Inns of Court and so concequently vpon the Crowne and dignity of ovr Sofferaigne Lord King Lucifer Jt is therefore mutually agreed that all former controvercies and contentions betweene both parties shall sease and that all unity peace and concord shall be imbraced on either side according to the expressions in the precedent artickel to the honour of our Sofferaigne Lord King Lucifer his crowne dignity Item It is agreed that the said state of the Inns of Court and the state Eclesiasticke afore said Shall ioyntly and severally vse the vttermost of their strength power and policy To resist suppress all such proceedings of this present parliament which shall any way tend to the Reformation and suppression of Opression Extortion Bribery Contention Tradition And that they shall will with all their might power and policy endeauour and striue to broche Advance and maintaine All the said severall impietise again To the honour of our Sofferaigne Lord King Lucifer his Crowne and dignity Item Jt is agreed by berweene our Sofferaigne Lord King Lucifer and the whole state ecclesiasticke of the one part And Iudge bribery That forthwith vpon the dissolution of this present Parliament He the said Iudge bribery is then againe to put in practise the taking of bribes passing of fals iudgement and maintaining his fals corrupt centences and decreese to be things sacred infaliable Oppressing the innocent by clos imprisonment and also fauouring all Iesuites Priests and Semenaries if any of them happen by the Instruments of Justice to be laid hold on Animating and instructing all Aturnies Soliceters and Clarkes for and to the sowing of strife and contention amongst the people of the land To the honour of our Sofferaign Lord King Lucifer his Crowne and dignity Item It is agreed by betweene our Sofferaigne Lord King Lucifer and Lawyer corruption that he the said lawyer corrupcion shall notwithstanding any powerfull Parliamentary reformation still parsist in takeing fees both of playntiue and defendant nor shall ever bring any honest cause to its period vntill he hath in fees devoured the whole substance both of plaintiue and defendant neither shall he the said Lawyer corruption euer at any time giue any true and preualent advice to any his clyents but shall delude and delay them vntill he hath draynd them as aforesâ—id to the vtter ruine of them their wiues and children to the honour of our Sofferaigne Lord King Lucifer and the propagation of his Crowne and dignity To their owne present rich impiety and asured sucsesefull pardition Jtem It is agreed and concluded by and betweene our Sofferaigne Lord King Lucifer and Aturny Contention That he the said Atturny contention shall and will at all times in all places and vpon all occasions vse his best dilligence to sow debate strife varience contentioÌ„ amongst the people of the land without exception of persons yea he shall not omitt to set the father against the son and the son against the father as also one Brother against the other to the vtter ruine of their estates houses and families to that end he shall dispose of himselfe and all his imphes into all the quarters and severall corners of the Kingdome neither shall there be any market towne or place of habitation but he shall seat himselfe there to the intent and purpose aforesaid To the honour of our Sofferaigne Lord King Lucifer his Crowne and dignity to the advancement of the said sience of iniquity Jtem Jt is agreed by betweene our Sofferaigne Lord King Lucifer and Solissetor Sedition That he the said Solissetor Sedition shall will at all times vse his best endeauovr to stir vp animate and encourage all people of what condicion degree profesion soever vnto sutes in the law that he the said Solisetor Sedition shall will proue faithfull vnto all Lawyers Aturnies and shall and will be slow in the prosecution of any mans cause whatsoever and spin out the thred therof to its full length espeacially in the Courts of equity by multiplicity of Begeting orders and by not omitting to haue this clause incerted into every of his orders videliset vnles cause be shewed to the contrary at the next court day by the defendant as also by falsifiing of orders Through the corrupting of registers and corrupting of councell in an honest cause by deceiueing his clyants through false uniust bills of charges by brybing the Judges of the severall courts and the masters of the Chancery Richly to the honour of our Sofferaigne Lord King Lucifer his Crowne and dignity and the eternall damnation of Solissetor Sedition Jtem It is agreed concluded in Perpetuum between our Sofferainge Lord King Lucifer and Iaylor oppression that whereas through the rigoure of the law many poore Christian soules are commited vnto his keeping safe custody for sundry causes and sometimes for no iust cause at al He the said Iaylor opression shall and will by himselfe his Clarkes and servants be void of all mercy and compassion towards them and shall and will as much as in him lieth endeavour to worke the vtter ruine of the estates and liues of all such as shall be committed to his custody and to that end he the saide Jaylor oppression shall nor will not be slack in giuing bribes otherwise stiled new-yeares gifts yearely unto all the Judges of the courts of Iustis for towards the better incouragement
annimation of them to the commitment of all such to prison as are or shall be brought before them on the least ocasion and that he the said Iaylor oppression shall be euer redy to yeeld his dayly atendance on the Judges in their Courts thereby to stirr them vp to be mindfull of him to that effect lastly it is agreed coucluded that he the said Iaylor oppression shall will by himselfe his servants set such snares gins for all those commited to his costody that they being once intrapped within his prison doores shall neuer find the way out dureing the continuance of their liues or of ther estates at the least To the honour of our Sofferaigne Lord King Lucifer his Crowne and dignity and to the eternall perdition of Iaylor opression Item It is agreed by betweene our Sofferaigne Lord King Lucifer and iustice Conniuence That he the said iustis conniuence shall not nor wil haue any regard or respect to the iustnes of any poore mans cause nor shall euer incline his eare to any his iust complaints but shall and willeuer conniue and beare with the oppressor defrauder deceiuer and that he the said iustice conniuence shall and will euer preferr the vallue of a Gooce a pig a Capon a brace of Partriges a good fatt sheepe a bore at Christmis or a letter from a friend written in fauour of Sir Opressor Mr defrauder and dick deceiuer farr before iustice it selfe or the iustnesse of any honest mans cause whatsoeuer nor that he the said iustice conniuence shal euer excecute iustice in any poore mans cause but on the contrary he shall opresse them and haue his miltimuses ready written by his clarke M' duble fees for the speedy commitment of them to prison neither shall he euer incline his eare to heare their iust complaints against the severall goulden persons of worship afore said To the honour of our Sofferaigne Lord king Lucifer his Crowne and dignity and the benifit of Iaylor opression Item It is agreed by betweene our Sofferaigne Lord king Lucifer and state Negligence that he the said state Negligence shall euer preferr his owne peace and present benefit before the wellfare and futuar prosperity of his king and country and also that he the said state negligence shall not at any time take notice of any the Ill legall proceedjngs in any the Courts of iustice nor shall adict himself or ever endeavour to suppresse nor prevent by any good or hollsome lawes the practise of tirrany oppression in iustice extortion bribery contentjon idolitry and the like But shall and will soly adict himself vnto the pastimes of hunting hauking gaming and whoring and the vtter reiection of the present and futuar benefit and well-fare of his natiue country to the honour of our Sofferaigne Lord king Lucifer the prosperity of his Religeous vicegerent and the peace and tranquility of all his servants the Iesuites priests Semenaries and Romane Catholikes of England In witnes of the truth of these presents and of every particular contained in the same the parties aboue named haue hereunto set their hands and Seales the day afore-said and in the 5662 yeare of the raigne of our most dambnable Sofferaigne Lord king Lucifer Etcetera Signed Sealed and dilivered in the presence of vs William Laud Bishop Jsopprise Crauly Iudge Bribeing Long Justice Corrupt Fountaine Lawyer Iumping Jumper Aturney James In Graine Jaylor Robert Kilfart Solissiter And Rudine Haphudibrass Cytin kycloparius Notarius Publicus HERE FOLLOWETH A BREEFE RELAtion of a great feast which from Lucifer Prince of hell was by the hands of Cardinall pegusious presented to the view disposall and abrobation of the Pope of Rome in the yeare of Iubely 1641. Pope MY Lord Cardinall pegusious and you the rest of my holy brethren I beseech you view these excelent varieties and variety of excelencies well dressed and most exquisitely set forth and Garnished But the contents of every dish I beleeue is best knowne to you my Lord Pegusious from whom I desire to be satisfied concerning the contents qualities and opperation of every severall dish Card'i May it please your Holinesse These varieties of dishes which yovr holines here sees thus set sorth Were all of them prepared for the onely Table of our high mighty Monarch king Lucifer your holynes sole Patrone and protector A certaine number of which dishes his Mat'iy hath gratiously bin pleased to cause them to be presented to your holines disposall and the resudue of them onely to your holines vew and approbation being to be preserved for his Ma'ties owne peculiar pallate Pope I beseech you my Lord Car'd let me haue them brought hither before me in order according to the appointment of my Sofferaigne most munificient Patron Car'd Your holynes will and pleasure shall be accomplished and here in the first place may it please your holynes to take notice that the first dish by his Ma'ties appointment to be presented to your holines disposall is this large Lattin charger containing twenty two Lordly English Bishops stued with the fire of contention on the chafindish of exasperation and seasoned with the severall spices of mans invention as with the spice of the masse Priesthud holy-dayes Altars Candles Rayles holy-bread holy-water holy-ashes deuout prayer for the dead invocation of Saints offerings at the Altars excâ—mmnnications and the strong and opperatiue spice of the high commision Jt is also garnished about with the severall heritickall Doctrines of all the New intituled priests of England this dish his Ma'ty hath appointed to be disposed of by your holynes Pope I will surely taste of it it lookes louely Oh Admirable it is a most LAVDable dish of meat I can find nothing wanting in this dish but onely three graines of the spice of accomplishment and then it had bin deuoutly seasoned for my pallatt but J pray what is the next dish my lo' Card ' The next dish may it please your holynes is a silver charger comprehending all the contrivers and complotters of the dissention betweene England and Scotland os the last Spainish invasion of England and the practisers with the French for the subvertion of all the heritiks in England Scotland and Jreland it is seasoned with all our Iesuitical practises Church policies and al our English Romane Catholike tretcheries and garnished with al our English Romane statistes this dish of meat is now almost could and therefore at this present vnfit for your Holynes pallatt it onely wants the breath of the Earle of Straffords fiery zeal to heat it by a Laudable blast or two Pope However I pray let me taste of it Oh the lamentation of a sinner pity pity yea a thousand pities is it that this dish had not bin kept hott and seasoned to the proofe that we might haue sung most Laudably te Lucifer Laudamus But my lo ' Card ' what is the next dish Card ' May it please your holynes this dish containes
respect to them and their dambenable actions for our honour We are pleased to take spetiall notice of that service which they most willingly endeauored to efect for the confusion of all the heritiks Jnhabiting England Scotland Ireland and the Netherlands by the late conceaued Jnvincible Armado procured from Spaine in the yeare of our raigne 5660. Which through the providence of the Celestiall powers then ouer them And the dissturbance of Martain Harper Trump here below Failâ—ed of that Sucses which we together with them expectod and hoped for To our no lesse sorrow then theirs Nor can we but aplaud the dilligent care taken by our Children servants of greatest quality in that Kingdom In preventing the discovery of that Jnvasiue plott by the heritikes and their small well-meaneing State Through their speidy flight to dover Rode and private Conference there with Don Oquindo the Generalissimo of Spaine to that effect All which was most exquesitly performed especially by our hispaniolized lacklatine Lord our deerely beloued Servant And lastly our hope is that this presant plott sett on foot by these our trusty well-beloued chlldren and Servants aforenamed by their earnest endeuours our assistance once effected will Crowne all our labours to our unspeakeable Terrestriall glory and their eternal favours by vs to be conferred on them in our Royall pallace of perdition where we haue already Imposed our Royal command vpon our trusty and wellbeloued cozen and councelor Peotâ—r Tretyacoue Chancelor Evane Becklemeesheue our Knight Marshall Richardo Slowe Treasurer and Don Serborus grand Porter of our said Pallace to giue them free admittance into our Royall Presence Thus no wayes doubting of your singular care and dilligence in fullfilling this our Royall will and Pleasure hereby expressed we do further impose our Royall favour and Princely respect to be by you presented vnto our trusty and wellbeloued cozen and councellour your present â—untio in the Court of England as also vnto our beloued children and servants the Bishops Jesuites Priests and Semenaries our faithfull agents in this invinceable plott and also to all our faithfull subiects servatns the Romane Catholikes of England We are pleased to remaine Your Royall Sofferraigne and Patron of all your dambenable plots and stratagems now in hand Giuen at oure Infernall pallace of perdition this 1. of September and in the 5661 yeare of our most dambnable raigne Poste Scripte Since the aboue written wee are creadibly informed of the intention of a most scandelous petition to be deliuered by asmall number of heriticall Lords vnto their King at Yorke which doth not a little touch our honour and the discouery of this our present stratagem Our expresse will and pleasure is that there be some speedy course taken for the suppressing of the same And the authors thereof sevearely punnished and Pomfret Castell alotted vnto them for their abode vntil our wil and pleasure be further known and this our dissigne be effected of which faile you not as you tender our Royall favour the suckses of this our dissigne and your owne safety Farewell Antonio Furioso Diabelo Principalio Secretario Cousider this and marck the substance well It seemes a letter from the finnd of hell What er the form or method seeme to be Th' intent thereof was quite the contrary Had this not rung a knell in som mens eares Th' had neare bin freed from their slauish fearse Of tyrany opression and th Bishops pride Iudges and Lawyers a wicked crewe beside Of Docters procters that the Realme did swaye Trod vnder foote Gods truth turnd night to day Strove to coufound great Brittayns Monarchy Iustice and truth peruert advance t i m Piety And all by this Romse doctrine to preferr Obey the Pope and serue King Lucifer That is the cause why them he doth aplaud That he thereby with them may haue the LAVD And honour due vnto his servants all That striu by him to worke great Brittaynes fall A TRVE COPPJE OF THE PETITION WHICH WAS BY THE LORDS PRESENTED VNTO THE KING at Yorke Seprember the 12. 1640. To the Kjngs most Excelent majesty THe humble petition of your Ma'ties most Loyall subiects whose names are here under subscribed in the behalfe of themselues and divers others Most gracious Sofferaigne The sence of that duty we owe to Gods sacred Majesty our nearest affection to the good and welfare of this your Realme of England haue moued vs in all humility to beseech your Royall Ma'ty to giue vs leaue to offer to your princely wisdom the apprehencion which we and others your faithfull subiects haue conceiued of the great distemper and danger now threatnig this Church state your royall person of the fittest meanes to remoue preuent the same The evils dangers whereof your Ma'ty may be pleased to take notice of are these That your Ma'ties sacred person is exposed to hazard danger in this present expedition against the Scotish Army that by ocasion of this warr your Ma'tys revenuse are much wasted your subiects burthened with cote and conduct mony billiting of souldiers other military charges divers rapinse disorders committed in severall parts of this your realme by the souldiers raised for that service the whole realme full of fearse discontentments The sundry innovations in maters of Religion the oath of 〈◊〉 lately imposed vpon the cleargy others of your Ma'ties subiects the great increase of popery imploying of popish recusants others ill affected vnto religeon-are established in places of power trust especially in comanding of men armse both in the feeld in sundry other Coumpties of this your Realme which by the lawse they are not permitted to haue any armes in their owne houses The great mischiefe that may fall vpon this Kingdom if the intention which hath beene creadibly reported of the bringing in of Irish and forraigne forces should take effect The heauy charge of marchants to the great discouragement of trade The multitude of monapolies and other pattents whereby the commodities and manufactures of this Kingdome are much burthened to the great and vniversall grivances of your people The great griefe of your subiects with the long Intermission of Parliaments the late former disoluing of such as haue bin called without the happy effects which otherwise they might haue produced For remedy whereof preuention of the danger that may ensue ro your Roy all person the whole state They do in all humility faithfullnes beseech your Ma'ty that you will be pleased to summon a Parliament in some short convenient time whereby the causes of these other great grivances which your people suffer under may be taken away the Authors councelors of them may be brought to such legall tryall condigne punnishment as the nature of their offences shall require and that the present warr may bee composed by your Ma'ties wisdome without bloudshed in such a manner