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A66812 Witty apophthegms delivered at several times, and upon several occasions by King James, King Charls, the Marquess of Worcester, Francis Lord Bacon, and Sir Thomas Moor ; collected and revised. Bayly, Thomas, d. 1657?; James I, King of England, 1566-1625. Selections. 1669.; Charles I, King of England, 1600-1649. Selections. 1669.; Worcester, Henry Somerset, Marquis of, 1577-1646. Selections. 1669.; Bacon, Francis, 1561-1626. Selections. 1669.; More, Thomas, Sir, Saint, 1478-1535. Selections. 1669. 1669 (1669) Wing W3237; ESTC R12699 69,627 178

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Wittie APOPHTHEGMES of K Iames K Charles E of Worcest●● Lo Bacon Sr Tho. More Reuiued WITTY Apophthegms DELIVERED At Several Times and upon Several Occasions BY King James King Charls The Marquess of Worcester Francis Lord Bacon and Sir Thomas Moor. Collected and Revised LONDON Printed by W. R. for Matthew Smelt and are to be sold at his Shop next to the Castle near Meorgate 1669. TO THE READER Courteous Reader HEre is presented to thy View the timely fruit of those once Famous Monarchs and Peers of this Realm whose yet living Fame for Majestick Wisdom and high Discretion is able still to gain them life and glory maugre all the dirt and filth which this ungrateful Age hath flung both upon their Persons and works I should but hold a Candle to the Sun if I should go about to say any thing of their excellent use and worth only thus much I assure thee that these Apophthegms which for the singular Wisdom that is in them are worthy of Record are collected with exactness and choice and now published for the profit and delight of all those that are willing to search into this store-house of Wit and Wisdom Vale. ROYAL APOPHTHEGMS OF K. IAMES 1. THat it is a Maxim in the Romish Religion declared by most of their own writers that the Pope may if he will at one Mass free all the souls out of Purgatory his Majesties inference on this Position was with ●…bnegation of the Popes charity and admiration of his unparalelled cruelty that being granted to have a power so to do dot●… not nor may not apply his will unto it 2. That the wearing of Leeks on Saint Davids day by the Welshmen was a good honourable and commendable fashion seeing that all memorable Acts have by the Agents something worn for distinction and also to preserve the memory thereof unto posterity even as the Passeover was to the Jews that when their children should ask why they were girded with staves in their hands they might shew them the cause so the Welshmen in commemoration of the great fight by the black Prince of Wales do wear Leeks as the●…r chosen Ensign 3. Doctor Baily holding conference with the King touching the Popes Arrogancy alluding to Christs answer to his Apostles He that desires to bear Rule let him be the least amongst you and therefore the Pope doth sometimes colourably term himself servant of servants to which the King replyed that by such an inference he could prove the Pope to be humbly minded to which the Doctour answered that he did not alwayes so account himself save only when he had purpose to deceive otherwise he esteemed himself Lord of Lords His Majesties determination was that the Popes calling himself servant of servants was rather in a more strict and peculiar sense as that he was a servant of his Church and so by consequence the servant of the servants of God but towards all other Lord of Lords so likewise to be a professed Catholick is to be a true Christian but to be a Roman Catholick is it which marreth the matter 4. That whereas our Saviour saith it is as easie for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle as for a rich man to enter into the Kingdome of heaven the Pope perverteth that saying for that none shall have no pardons but such as pay for them so consequenly the rich are more easie to enter into heaven then the poore because the one can have pardons when he will but the other is not able to purchase it and thereupon his Majesty concluded the Pope to be justly called a Merchant of mens souls as is set forth in the 18. of the Revelation 5. His Majesty observed a quaint interrogatory put to a jealous Lover out of that famous Comedy of Ignoramus the which his Majesty highly commended viz. whether he desired most or rather to be termed Publius Cornelius or Cornelius Tacitus in further approbation of which Comedy besides in opposition and dislike of another Comedy performed and acted before his Majesty by the Scholars of the University of Oxford that as in Cambridge one Sleep made him wake so in Oxford one Wake made him sleep 6. That Tobacco was the lively image pattern of hell for that it had by allusion in it all the parts and vices of the world wherby hell may be gained to wit first it was a smoak so are the vanities of this world Secondly it delighteth them who take it so do the pleasures of the world delight the men of the world Thirdly it maketh men drunken and light in the head so do the vanities of the world men are drunken therewith Fourthly he that taketh Tobacco saith he cannot leave it it doth bewitch him even so the pleasures of the world make men loath to leave them they are for the most part so inchanted with them and further besides all this it is like hell in the very substance of it for it is a stinking loathsom thing and so is hell and further his Majesty professed that were he to invite the Devil to a dinner he should have these three dishes 1. a Pig 2. a Pole of Ling and Mustard and 3. a pipe of Tobacco for digestare 7. That he had heard an old Minister say touching conformity that it would be a scandal for him to conform and yet will allow that his son may do it as if he living a fool all his life desired so to die 8. Heaven is governed by order and all good Angels there nay hell it self could not well subsist without some order and the very devils are divided into Legions and have their Captains How can any Society then upon earth subsist without order or degrees 9. That the often mentioning of Abraham Isaac and Jacob in the Scripture is to signifie that we should celebrate the memory of good men above others and of all men above beasts 10. That all humane Laws cannot be perfect but that some must rest in the discretion of the Judge although an innocent man do perish thereby as his Majesty further conceived that a Jury may cast upon evidence and a Judge may give a just sentence yet the party innocent 11. We should not be like the Puritans in our prayers who speak to God as to their fellows and sit at Christs Table as with their companions Let us joyn reverence with the sweet confidence we have in Gods love 12. That no man can thrive that keepeth a whore at Rack and Manger to sit openly with justification That to rove is proper to expresse the action of the body but to rave is an action of the mind 13. His Majesty would not admit publick disputation betwixt twelve Papists and twelve Protestants himself being chosen umpire because he might lose more that would not be satisfied then he could win although the Papists side were convicted and further his Majesty declared that in 88 he almost converted a Papist untill my new convert heard of
that deceived Solomon the wisest King that ever was 23. That his Majesty confested that he read more Popish books than Protestant and from thence findeth matter to confirm him in the Protestant Religion and he farther related that he stiled a book once being sent him by the name of Melchisedeck being without beginning or ending 24. That many learned writers have recorded things for truth which experience hath falsified as for instance his Majesty gave his own experience touching the worms found in a Stags head which are reported to dy if put into water but will live in wine the which being tryed they live equally in both 25. If the Pope may erre as a man but not as a Pope I would know why the Pope doth not instruct or reform the man or wherefore the man doth not require the Popes instruction 26. Not only the deliverance of the Jews till they came to the Land of promise but even their daily preservation was miraculous for there was never any noted plague in Jerusalem though it stood in a hot Climate which had it been would have endangered the whole Nation it being to assemble thither twice every year of necessity 27. That to have any imployment in any Republick in that State is dangerous for do he well or ill he is sure to rue it and he speedeth best that doth worst like a Scottish Tale I have heard of one that never sped well amongst the Lawyers when he had a good cause because he then least suspected it the other side bribed and countermanded so the greatest carried it for the most part even so in Republicks 28 That a Germane was naturally most constant to himself for although he could well fashion himself to any Countrey he travelled unto yet returning home to his own he would appear to any mans judgment nothing changed from the manner and condition of his own Nation and so in him is most truly fulfilled this saying That the Heathen change not but all persons and things here below are subject to change but with the English or any other Nation it is otherwise nay farther on this subject his Majesty said that a Frenchman though never so grave and sober of countenance yet one time or other would have his frisk of vanity 29. That he is not of opinion that all speeches in Scripture touching beasts or sowls by allegory doth agree with the proper and peculiar nature of them as of that Be nise as Serpents or that comparison of the Ostrich that seemeth to neglect her young by leaving her eggs in the dust which is not the proper nature of them as hath been approved by Barbary Merchants that have seen them but itseems so outwardly because she hideth her eggs in the sand and so removeth a little from them but for no other end but to protect them that at the time of need and in the hatching to break the shell which of it self cannot 30. Sir Francis Kinaston by experience falsified the Alchimist report that a hen being fed for certain days with gold beginning when Sol was in Leo should be coverted into gold and should lay golden eggs which be●…ng tryed was no such thing but became indeed very'sat his Majesties conceit thereupon was that surely somewhat was omitted in Sir Francis experiment to wit he wanted faith to believe as himself did always in the like or such matters but one thing more might have been ●…added more amply to satisfie the experiment 〈◊〉 the Cock had been first fed with gold and afterwards have trodden the hen might happily have succeeded the better 31. That upon report made to his Majesty of a Goose that loved a man that it would never be from him wheresoever he went and upon occasion would guard him from offence whereupon his Majesty remembred the Goose of the Capitol and further he said he thought it as easie to prove the deceit of the aforesaid Goose from that Goose of the Capitol as the Heralds now adayes for gain do prove the deceit of the Gentlemen of these times 32. Whether boldness or bashfulness did soonest prevail in Court his Majesties opinion was that bashfulness did alluding to the Lord Duke of Buckingham who at his first coming to Court exceeded in bashfulness and when his Majesty had cast his eye upon him the Lord of Arundel being asked by his Majesty what he thought of him he answered that his blushing bashfulness was such as he thought he would do but little good in Court favours 33. That if there were no other quarrel between the Papists and the Pro●…estants but the number of Sacraments he himself would be a Papist for he held it not worth the quarrelling as appeared by a Tale of two friends in Scotland being great in friendship and in their cups falling out about that subject the one a great Papist and the other a Protestant so they fought and were both slain a third said before he would have lost his life in that quarrel he would have divided the seven into three and twenty half to end that controversie 34. That he would never use any other Argument to convince the Papists of their opinion of Miracles but by their own Doctrine whereunto most of their miracles are altogether repugnant as for example a fable they have that the picture of our Lady should stir their Doctrine is that these images are but Representative now what disproportion appeareth between their opinion and their Doctrine 35. God is never better honoured than in giving him true worship the King at that time declared himself resolved alwayes to kneel at the Sacrament and that for to testifie his humility towards God being a King and the rather for example sake to others that are set under him he said he would not have willingly a gout in the knee alluding to Doctor Lawds Sermon on that subject a little before and his Majesty confessed the gout of the knee very troublesom and that by a particular experiment of his own upon an accidental hurt which he received on his foot at New-Market being to receive the holy Communion on Christmas-day following and resolved to take the same kneeling as aforesaid provoked his whole body into a very great sweat and anguish and therefore concluded the gout in the knee to be a main impediment for sacred duties and further said he Shall we not exceed the Turks who in their false worship do fall down flat on their faces rise often in the night to perform their false worship and this they are injoyned to do or otherwise they account themselves damned 36. That it was strange to look into the life of Henry the eighth how like an Epicure he lived It was once demanded by King Henry the eighth of one what he might do to be saved who answered that he had no cause to fear having lived so mighty a King and done so many worthy acts in his life time but oh said he I have lived too like a King