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A61026 Free grace, or, The flowings of Christs blood free to sinners being an experiment of Jesus Christ upon one who hath been in the bondage of a troubled conscience ... / by John Saltmarsh. Saltmarsh, John, d. 1647. 1646 (1646) Wing S485; ESTC R28122 77,906 222

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which exceeds in glory till with open face they behold as in a glasse the glory of the Lord Which glory would exceedingly force away the darknesse and clouds of ignorance fears and doubts from the soul which like smoak arises from the fire and kindling of the Law in weak beleevers We know green wood with any fire in it will set all the room on a smoak so beleevers whose spiritual Principles are but green and have any sparks of the Law and the curse for sin kindling in them will be fuller of smoak then light therefore they are called smoaking flax I will not quench the smoaking flax CHAP. III. Of the Parties falling into the same sins in some measure which they had lived in in their unregenerate estate from whence all their late bondage hath been Quest I Pray relate to me how long you continued in your back-sliding till the Lord let you see it to the terrour of your soul as you thought Answ No long time for I saw it shortly after then I had great terrours almost in a despairing way and then I questioned all my assurances and evidences of Gods love I had and promises I had received Then I went to my friend the Preacher full of terrour who desired to know the cause and I told him Then he asked me how it came to be so with me I told him through violence of temptation and natural corruption He told me the sin was not mine but so far as I consented but that could not satisfie me He asked me If God were not able to forgive it I told him I questioned not Gods ability but his will I desired some particular instances of him of any falling into the same sin again I knew the Saints of God had faln into divers great sins but not into the same He then alleadged to me that of the Prophet of back sliding Israel but because he could not clear to me that it was the same sin I was not comforted by it Many and divers promises both he and all the rest applied unto me I was sometimes refreshed yet but for a while They chid me oftentimes and said I lookt for such a measure of grace which I did not but the truth of grace in me and indeed they never told me of any promises but still there was such qualifications in them as I questioned all Quest It seems then this was your case You could not perswade your self of the truth of your light because of your returning to sin nor finde such conditions in your self upon which you could rightly as you thought apply the promises I pray let me know some particular temptations you have had if you think good Answ I was tempted to make away my self lest the longer I lived the more I should dishonour Religion Satan came again to me to eat something with pins in it to choak my self that it might not appear how I died which I did but in mercy I found no harm the Lord prevented it I know not how Many times I have been tempted by divers means to destroy my self but was still prevented by several providences I have been much tempted to keep alone The temptations I had came in alwayes most violently and furiously I could scarce hold I was not my self The Lord once when I thought to have stabbed my self sent in a wicked fellow who brought a Book and read by which I was mercifully prevented I found still in all my temptations I was prevented by some providence and upheld If in the temptation I could but get to consider once then it ended and in this course I have lived and continued most OBSERVATIONS I. The danger of placing assurance most in mortification of sin I Observe That Satan doth tempt our naturall corruption exceedingly to the same sins which have reigned most in us in the times of our unregenerate condition for by that he may the more easily draw us to unbeleef and perswade us against the love of God in Christ and to question our calling because we are naturally apt to take measure of our graces and Gods love to us first by the mortification of sin in us and dying to former lusts and if we finde that otherwise then we would we presently let go our hold upon the promises and slaken our beleeving and perswade our selves that because it is thus and thus with us and corruption quickening again we were deceived in our selves that sure the Spirit was never in us because we finde some goings back and fallings again in the same way we did at first I confesse in natural causes and things the outward working and effects do give the best assurance concerning the truth of their essence or being but that is not the onely way of spiritual assurances they are more by way of word and promise then work and operation Abraham beleeved in hope against hope Rom. 4. II. The danger of drawing our comforts most from the change in the outward man I observe That the soul naturally examines its spiritual state or condition by calling to minde former wayes and times of uncleannesse and by comparing times and seasons the latter with the former and the assurances and comforts of many are raised upon this very foundation of comparison Therefore if Satan can force them or entice them into any part of the former conversation he knows he can exceedingly puzzle and perplex them keep them long under bondage I know the Apostle sets forth the Churches state of Corinth c. by comparing times Such were some of you but ye are washed c. But this is not by way of putting true beleevers upon a method for assurance but in describing and comparing the outward state of the Church-way with what they were before And hence it is that relapsing fallings again into the same sins do bring such anguish and terrour upon such souls even almost to confusion of face nay he makes many souls by this one snare go desperatly forward to sin upon a new score or tally as if it were in vain for them to perswade themselves of Christ or the love of God but rather to sin it out in this life not considering that the Blood of Christ cleanseth us from all sin 1 Joh. 1.7 and that if we sin we have an Advocate with the Father 1 Joh. 2.1 but go upon an empty and half despairing beleef for salvation like some bankrupts that having once broken ran desperately into more and more debt and finding themselves unable to discharge some they take no care for any as they who said It is vain to serve God and what profit is it that we have kept his Ordinance Mal. 3. III. The spiritual condition in this life more in being justified from sin then cleansed from sin I observe likewise That a soul which is once brought into these entanglements of back-slidings such as have no clear Gospel-light nor understanding to undeceive unwinde themselvs fall under very sad