so much the more ought they to vphold their coniunction heedfully haue an eye from the very beginning to shun all occasions of discention and discord as considering that pieces of wood greenly coÌ„bined together will be disioynd and misplacd by the least occasion in the worlde but contrariwise when the ioynts are well knit and assured by long proofe of time hardly can they be sunderd or seperated again by force or fire And as we see strawe doth easily take fire so may it as quickly be quenched again except some sudden matter be added to help and mantaine it euen such should we esteeme the loue of new maried folks to be which is not kindled but by the heate of youth especially the sweete beauty of the body so that it cannot be firme or durable if it be not grounded by conformitie of good and honest manners which begets a riciprocall affection of one to the other Now as for such as cannot endure the first frowardnes riotes of their new matches I may properly coÌ„pare them to those that deeme a raisin grape like to another because perhaps before they saw vergis made of it And so concerning the new married who disdain their husbands at the first meetings they do neither more or lesse then like him that because the Bee stuÌ„g him a little casts away the quaÌ„tity of hony which she then left in his hand Al things therfore especial as concerne our affections ought to be common in marriage and contrariwise all outrages and iniuries to be vtterly banished For if Cato depriued a Romane Senatour of his office dignitie because in the presence of his daughter he kissed his wife which in mine opinion was sentence too seuere what imagine you should be done to such as offend iniurie and strike their wiues Say she be hard fauored difformed it is lesse praise to kisse embrace and toy with her in companie then the shameis reputed greater to strike abuse mistear me her be it neuer so secret or how soeuer and this hath bene the fault of very many as I could make knowen by sundry examples The delight of loue and benesit thereof according to the opinion of the wisest consisteth in foure things viz. sight speech kissing and feeling which is last of all and though each of them doth merit a most ample discourse yet he that would know their seuerall particularities let him search the Poets who haue al spoken like most skilful maisters likewise let him peruse the Philosophers and among the rest Plato in his Conuiuium where very largely he hath set downe his minde and not onely haue they written liberally hereon but proued the force of loue witnessed the same by their owne endured passions As for the first and second poyntes they are the two sences wherby all knowledge enters into a man to wit sight and hearing and it seemes that our soule taketh her forme by these two sences for whosoeuer is depriued of them hath no difference at all from a brute beast The Philosophers talke of a common sence at the beginning of our brayne whereto all the feeligs of the fantasie do addresse themselues so doth iudgement and memorie likewise Loue then beget teth it selfe by the eyes which are the gates whereby our conceites do enter they drawe our inclination according to their iudgement raising a desire which is called loue appoynting it to the mansion of the hart which is the reason that in loue we talke so much of the hart not because the hart is an onely member that hath life but in regard of the soule which woorks not but by the organes and instruments of the hart conuaying all our other partes to the hart as the httle finger cannot stirre it selfe but by the opperation of the hart and the hart by our will which principally abydeth therein Why then when the eye hath brought to our common sence the sigure of beauty fancie who is nearest neighbour to our common sence is immediately moued and sendes a message thereof to the hart which foorth with desires delight and fruition of that which to him appeareth so beautifull Now concerning hearing it likewise greatly helpeth loue for communication of the mindes together for the beautie of the minde consisteth in reason which by speech imparteth it selfe vnto vs and hearing carieth all things from the sence common to fancie and iudgement imprinting so much in the memorie which afterward succeedeth as prouokes both desire appetite and will Virgill hath most excellently described how Dido became amorous of Aneas saâ—ing that hauing heard of himselfe his worthie and famous deedes as also what daungers he had escaped his height of valour which he seemed to haue made good proofe of by little and little entred her minde and opinion and vrged her to this induction by her self It is not possible but he must needs be descended of very good place for a villaine neuer could performe such enterprise his vertue his race and al else so much moued her as in the end she was caught fast in the snaries of loue Vertue beautie and honestie are the true allurers of loue and therfore Terqum was not so much mooued with the beauty of Lucrece as her chastity honest demeanor finding her well exercised busied in her house not idle slothfull as he had done many other amidst their pleasures bonquets and vanities Comunication and speeche declare what a man is his wisedome and learning is not knowen but only therby now knowledge is in meÌ„ according to the thing which best sitteth their honor and wherby they game most the loue and fauour of men Therefore speech by good right is most requisitem loue to testesie how what a manist for it is written that Soerates seing a hansome young youth sayd to him Speake to thee I may both see and know thee Next vnto speaking is placed kissing and truely if the pleasure were not felt which ensueth therby my selfe would deeme it strange why there is sometime such forbearaunce from kissing and why we loue rather to kisse ones mouthe rather then any one thing as faire and sweet but experience teacheth vs that especially among the rest kissing is a great parte of delight a mother kisseth her son a brother his sister and in Fraunce it is most cömon be cause it is counted as a saluting chiefely when one comes from any farre place Some say that the minds doo coÌ„municate therby and haue written wonderfull matters of kisses but what is knowen by sence hath no need of further proofe as when we see a thing black or white it is vaine to de maund any other proofe when we handle a thing hard or soft when we heare a sound lowd or lowe when we tast a thing sowre or sweet in al these other reason is not required And so say I of kissing it is needlesse to demaund if it be pleasant or no for in kissing it maketh proofe of it selfe
in this respect the lawe reputes such as detestable if they shall compound and make sale of their wiues addulteries Here hence it proceedeth and by right is permitted as a matter excusable for a man to kill his wife beeing found in such an offence which prerogatiue is no way tollerated in a woman The reason why the fact is more agrauated in the woman then the man is because adulterie in a woman makes doubt of her issue whether it be by her husband or an other which cannot carrie like mistrust in a man Ye shall haue some that alledge an other reason which notwithstaÌ„ding I will not defend and I am certayne that all they who haue any feeling of reason wil herein iump with mine oppinion For they say that the man beeing the head of his wife as much to say as Lord ouer her she standeth the more obliged in keeping of her fayth and loyalty If then she fall to violate that strict bond so much the more shame and damagement dooth the man sustayne in his goodes The first part of their reason is not to be condemned neyther indeede doe I so rashly censure of it but in regarde of the conclusion clusion they make thereof I say they persume a little ouermuch and shew themselues to be very absurd euen as it were in auouching playne paganisme For if they will conclude that because it is so that a man is the head and Lord of the woman therefore she hath no power at all ouer him and so consequently it is lawfull for him without any contradiction to abandon her and giue himselfe to all voluptuous pleasures I say such as are of this oppinion differ not at a I from the paganes who indeede doe mayntayne that when a lewd quailitied man subiect to his owne desires shul offend with some freend of his or eis his chamber mayd neuerthelesse his wise must not be displeased there with or any way reproue him for it but rather she should esteeme the better of him and that this was done in reuerend respect of her as not suffering lier to pertake in his drunkennesse beast-like luxurie and intemperaunce at that tyme. Perhaps herein they would immitate the kings of Persia who when they feasted and banquetted in ordinarie and comely manner they would then haue their wiues sit with them at the table But when they carrowsed and dranke till they were drunke their wiues were commaunded to their chambers and then their concubines women singers and dauncers must be with them Now diuers at the first iudging hereof deemed they did well in that they would not haue their lawfull wiues participate with their drunken dissolution but then they might as easily herein haue considered withall that vnder this pretext of reuerence to their wiues they permitted themselues to runne into all corruption and infamy of their liues for among honest people neuer will a modest wife suffer her husband to entertayne a strumpet neare her as well for auoyding discorde as preuention of iealosie whereunto women are naturally subiect But admit that such accidentes should befall them and their husbandes are so addicted to affect strumpets yet is it great iniustice done them that for a little voluptuous disorder they will so much wrong displease and iniurie their wiues and not doo at least like the poore sillie Bees who in no case will themselues touch rudely their proper females but if any other of their company wrong them they will warre with them rather then any other Notwithstanding all this there are found too too manie so bad of minde and disposition as will not sticke to accompanie their owne wiues comming defyled and poiluted from the base association of some others and then behaue themselues in such sort with them as if all the world were not able to reproue them neuer remembring how commonly it happens that the faults whichment commit against their wiues are more rumoured among the people then those of their wiues toward them As we may ordinarily note in him that keepes no good gouernement in his house and familie If he be deceiued by his wife one of these too occasions are immediatly vrged either that he is blinded in his owne behauiour and hath no eyes at all to discerne matters happening or else himselfe is consenting to the shame and hath no vertue lefte in him to gainesay it but as one ouermaistred by his wife too basely subiects him selfe and so is led about by the nose as one doth a beaste There are none more infamous and detestable then such wreched kinde of people who deserue to be publiquely nayled to postes and of their infamie can neuer be spoken sufficient such a one may be called Iohn Iohn that goes for wine while his wife tends her pastime and if any harme be doone he lookes through his fingers for feare he should see it or like a kinde foole sits and watcheth the doore Contrary wise when a man is Iealous without a cause looking with a cloudie countenance suspitiously discontented it is a verie great blemish to him he stirres others therby to more forwardnes in his busines then reason accounteth expedient and happily may so come by some cause for his iealosie he prouokes his wife to waxe carelesse of him c. For there is no readier way to bring a woman to loosenes of life then in suffering her to see his apparant suspition that he reputes her as a woman dishonest grues her hard vsage watcheth whersoeuer she walkes wherby she perceiuing that her husband reposeth no credit in her loyaltie she presently takes her selfe as little obliged to him by reason the league of communitie in faith betweene them is broken by distrust on his behalfe then she standes vppon her better deseruing that he is no meete man for her she too good a wife for him and so neglects all duty toward him I could as fitting this purpose produce sufficient testimonie of such as haue beene extreamely iealous some procuring their wiues through their owne bad demeanour to ward them to commence sute in law against them whereby such shame hath redounded to the men that the wiues haue beene found of able sufficiencie and their hushands to be impotent faultie and ouermuch to blame whereby hath euidently appeared that their own weaknesse and dishabilitie was cause of their iealosie What comfort or contentment can a poore woman haue to be accompanyed with such a beast as is euery houre watching her holdes his wife as a prisoner cannot endure shee should speake to anie one because he reputes her fraile and easie to fall â—â— she but list to a question demaunded she is presently lost and the deed hath beene dooen though she stird not out of his companie Heerein therefore there must be vsed more wisdome and discretion and they that will auoide these wicked extremities must obserue those meanes that are vertuous and commendable One thing most requisite betweene them which are loouers is to carie a good conceit of
so much the more because we touch the person whom we kisse the pleasure is great then is the benefit refered not to the bodie only but to the minde witnesse those kisses which men in times past gaue to one another the father to the soune and the mother also apsayne demonstration of courtesie and kindnesse I will unsist no other pointes then are expressed but leaue them as reserued to experience perience for many thinges are therby done honestly which are not to be named and many things like wise might be named which were better to be kept in secret as cicero said to the seuere and stoicall iudges and because it dependeth vpon the sence Now to know what is the cause of loue as also by what bayts and allurementes he ouertaketh himselfe this may not wel be discoursed ingeneral neither am I of their opinion that say a conformitie and resemblance procureth loue betweene vs for we haue scene the difformed loue the fayre the ignorant the wise with admiration the infirme and weake magnifiyng hardy and valiaunt men Briefly what so is faire what so is vertuous generally in all at all tymes and in all places is praised esteemed that which is vice is by the vicius thēselues reproued It were an absurd thing then to say that loue ensueth by resemblance and as Aristotle sayth reciting the authority of Euripides the earth desireth rayne when it is drye the sicke the Phisition True is it that it is another manner of matter the amitie which reconciles it selfe betweene persons of selfe same complexion and inclynation then in other cases and the reason is euident namely as he that loues an other for his vertue is likewise in selfe same manner beloued of him againe if he be vertuous He that loues a woman for her beautie is loued agayne reciprocally by her because he hath the like perfection and then is it tearmd amitie between persons when loue is mutual and in equality not when an hard fauoured or bad complexyoned man loueth a fayre and gracious Gentlewomen for there may be loue in him but none in her euen so loue not being actiue and passiue in these two kindes is not amitie To giue then the reason of loue it behoueth to consider the complection humour and affection of eyther partie for I am of this mind that no other but mutual loue can be cōtracted betweene beautifull persons but then we must consider that beauty in a woman is gentlenesle sweetenesse affabilitie and a pleasing disposition beautie in a man is also dignitie valour wit and dexteritie in vertue thus the beautie of eyther is diuersly appertayning to the sex So some do say that if gentlenesse and beauty in a woman pleaseth a man valour vertue and wisdome in a man liketh a woman which conduceth to the permutation and most auncient contract among men In like manner to make a generall rule of affectiō in men or women it is imposible because so many men so many seueral sences and complexions One loues a blacke eye another a gray in briefe one sayth and that most truely Loue maketh more store of faire women found out then their beautie confirmes them to be amiable or woorth desiring onely through our owne pursuing of vulgare actions which each one tearmes his best apparant good in regard he followes and adicts himselfe therto although very diuers and vnlikely This makes such abundance of frowarde natures and is the fountayne of all teares sighes complantes and greeuances among them that loue forcing them to such extremitie and violence on them selues that not teares alone but blood is sluiced foorth euen in the middest of their desperate siginngs and complaintes 〈◊〉 which ensueth because they that loue are not so pleasing in their louers eves as they appeare to them neyther find they like enterchange of will but quite contrary I or while they agree together delight is equally imbraced as if a hard fauoured man affect a fayre woman and recompence his want by comly demeanour valour and wisdome here hence ensueth the onely nourishment of loue when to delight and please a mans choise he becommeth gentle debonaire and vertuous as Plato sayth in his Conuiuium and Boccace likewise witnesseth deciaring the historie of rustical Cynon a clowne and badly nurtured by nature yet to compasse the fauour of a Lady which he loued in short while he became so ciuill gentle conformable valiant and renowned as no one could equall him in all graces and good partes beseeming a Gentleman And though loue serud vs for nothing els but to encourage and spurre vs onward to vertue yet were it worthy al praise and comendatiö And to approue that it doth so how many histories haue we which teach vs that loue hath beene the cause of vertue and gentlenes in such persons as haue don reuerence therto I referre my selfe to the wise and cūning decei of the Tuscanes who declared a singuler kindnesse to their husbands in making hazard of their liues for them For they beeing taken and committed to prison by them of Sparta where they were kept very strictly to trie if they could conuince them by certaine and vndoubted proofes in those matters wherof they stood accised they cōpassed the meanes to visite their husbands in prison preuayling so effectually with their keepers that they admitted them entrance only to and salute their husbands When they were within the prison they coū celled them to put off of their owne garments and being clad in theirs they should issue forth mour ning and hyding their eyes in signe of grief according as they hadentred to them which beeing done the women remained there shut vp in their sted entēding to suffer what soeuer was mean against their husbands whome the keepers let scape no otherwise imagining but that they were the women See now how on the one side ardent affection found sufficient help in need but for the other parte let vs not passe in silence the loyaltie of these men in acknowledging the good and kindnesse thus receiued by their wiues For beeing thus got out of prison they went presently and engirt the mount of Tangeta raysing the inhabitants neighbouring people to take Armes entring into an open rebellion Which they of Sparta fearing sent a herald to them by whom they grew to such a conclusion that their wiues were restored to them with monye and their goods beside as also diuers other aduantages This example may serue for a mirrour of cordiall and vehement loue in women toward their husbands and the like in men toward their wiues Let no man then discourage himselfe how much foeuer he be disgraced by nature or for tune for there is no hart so hard but may be moued in time to pittie and may by seruice merit very much if no other meanes were left him of desert And truely if the hart contayne any sparke of vertue it will neuer be ingratfull or lacke acknowledgement of good will and kindnesse
her he affecteth to repose such trust in her as neuer to gaze after her but let her goe on her owne consciences direction heervpon ensueth that she perceiuing his vndo inted trust and how his oppinion is consident in her she will not doo any thing vnwoorthie of his looue or seeme so much as in thought to deceiue him but yeeld him like vertuous mutuall affection In li'e manner if a husband manifest to his wife that his trust is absolutely reposed in her discouerse his secrets to her perfectly declareth that he reputs her fora right good woman he doth prouoke his wife to be most loy all and faithfull to him and makes her thus conceiue within her soule that it were most shame full to deceiue him who is so firme in his oppinion of her The law imputes it as an infamie to him that makes deniall of a gadge in inrespect it is held as a courtesie to a freend in whom good conceite trust is reposed and one sayth that it is a most villainous thing to deceiue the fayth of another beeing holy and inuiolable by much more reason then if a man bee Iealous and suspicious without cause dooth he wrong and iniurie to his yoke mate esteeming her otherwise then anhonest good woman If once he grow to that imagination she well perceiues that he loues her not which makes her breake all fayth and amitie taking iust occasiō to be at deadly defiaunce with him hating him as an enemie which hath highly abused her and so practiseth reuenge on the wronger of her reputation for she hath nothing dearer then her honour without which she dares not shew her face to any A man must likewise consider that a woman is not of such a seruill condition as to be gouerned by feare for when one thinkes to bridle her then will she soonest shake it off and the more she is constrayned the more she resisteth and standeth agaynst it He therefore that will shun falling into these inconueniences ought with reason which is the onely bridle whereby to guide a discreet man or woman to check such bad conceites in himselfe and doe nothing compulsiuely for the minde beeing inuisible and not subiect to sence obeyes to nothing but reason and she is the sole gouernesse of al our actions that if he be a man who swerues from reason yet let him not be compared to him that sinneth and will neuer yeeld some reason for the cause of his transgression at least some outward seeming shewe of reason VVho-so-euer will be beloued ought himselfe to loue who seekes to haue trust reposed in him ought yeeeld like confidence to another who would receiue good ought to doe good for we must expect the same measure from others which we our selues haue extended to them Notwithstanding when I say a man should be saythfully resolued of his wife my meaning is she giues him no bad occasion to deeme otherwise then wel of her be couse such respects doe euermore deliuer best conceites of her for we repute a man to be wise when his behauiour is therto according speaking discreetesy caryng himselse wisely and farre from the touch of any scandale We likewise iudge a man to be lewd when we perceiue his manners to be dissolute imsprising all ouncel to ciuill demeanour bearing himselfe in such sorte that he is hated and shund of all honest people huen so a woman shall be vertuously censured of if her habit bee like theirs that is vertuous and honest if she frequent the companie of women well reputed of and vse no language but what is honorable where contrariwise if she follow reprochfull companie persons that are defamed go dissolutely in her attire speake lightly without regard of shame and modestie she shal be thought a stragler proud a pratler bolde and impudent Now to know for certaintie whether she is not to be taxed with the crime of dishonistie or no little can be sayd therein by reason the act is so secret but such as haue bad reporte and haue gruen occasion to speake sinisterly of them albeit they may be verily innocent they ought to chastise their courses and behauiour by good examples that they may shunne all hard speeches both of themselues and their husbandes ruminating continually betweene themselues this sentence left by the wise man in writing That good renowue is more worth then a rich girdle of golde Honour is nothing els but populare reputation it is no parte of the conscience but he that feares not what men may saye of him as Caccro sayeth is wicked and destestable On the other side Sainte Augustine telles vs VVhosoeuer giues a pardon to his owne conscience and neglects his good fame is cruell to himselfe and full of impietie and this is it which we tearme to be scandalous It is not enough then to haue innocencie in the hart we must as well escape the giuing of occasion to men of euill reporte of which occasion I can speak no otherwise but euen as honor depends on the people them that are wise so if a man will haue honor he must gouern him self as the wisest best reputed among the people do and not deserue any other sinister oppinion If then a woman doe demeane her selfe in such sorte as hath beene declared and yet her husband neuer-the-lesse0 will be sicke in the brayne and foolish of his conceite it remaynes to his owne perill for she is no iote dishonoured thereby but himselfe that without any cause became distrustfull of her Now let vs see whether Iealosie be most dangerous in a man or woman Some holde that the woman beeing weaker then the man and lesse able to supporte the assaultes which iealosie continually afflictes the minde withall she therefore is the more subiect to passion and in this case might a number of women be named who beeing depriued of sence and vnderstanding haue frantiquely and furiously run about the streetes I can alledges no other reason in this behalfe why in her it should growe to such an extremitie but that a man feeles not like defect of pleasure when his wife dooth stray in secrete as a woman findes in her selfe beeing defrauded of her due as when her husband partes with that to another which properly and by right is none but hers As for the woman questionlesse she challengeth a mightie interest not so much in regarde of the pleasure as the breach of interchanged loue seeing her selfe frustrated of the faith and kindenesse which she was wunt to find effectually manifested and beside perceiuing her selfe halfe parted and seperated from her moitie Notwithstanding all this I finde that iealosie is much more hurtfull in a man then woman because ouer abous his perfect discouering that the faith of mariage is violated the selfe same consideration being on the wifes behalfe he feeles withall a shame and infamie with such ablemish and dishonour as is no way or at any tyme repay reable agayne And yet many
princesses haue bene noted to loue and reuerence their husbandes exceedingly albeit they haue had bastardes by others rather renewing then any way hindering their loue but when honour once is wounded it is a matter almost impossible for a man afterward to giue his wife good lookes and not proue her as a bad creature when once she hath forfeited her fayth giuen to him Many examples of vertuous dames are registred in writings that paciently haue endured this iniurie of their hufbands nay more to see their concubines kept euen in the very same house with them the olde Testament as also the histeries Greek and Romaine want no store of them who haue enfranchised their seruauntes that haue giuen entertaynment to their husbandes But among men of generous nature ye shall neuer finde any one that would endure so much as a suspition oneof their wiues witnesse Julius Caesar who did repudiate his wife and when one demaunded him the cause there of he answered because he would hauchis wife voyde of suspition by much more reason then would he haue her free from detection of crime Suspition is that which brings dishonor both to man and woman therefore Iealosie of it selfe is as yrkesome to beare in a man as a woman and so much the more in a man because thereby he looseth his honour To tell what kinde of payne this iealosie is exceedeth possibilitie of expressing for if the losse of goodes of birth of freends or of parentes be such as torments and makes a man inmeasurably passionate how greeuous then will be the losse of his wife to him of whom it is say de Aman shall leaue sather mother and all and cleaue vnto his wife If that bond and coniunction cannot be deaided or sundred but by death only what shall become of him who sees him selfe disioynd from amitie and yet for all that stands tyed by his person much better were if for him to looke vpon death then continually to haue before his eyes the cause of his affliction and see his enemie still remaining aliue reuiuing dayly the remembrance of the heinous wrong doone him And euen as a man deemes him selfe happy when he is conioyned in good and durable amitie with a wife by whom he is entreated honorably seruing as an ayde consolation in his affayres Euen so on the cōtrarie he reputes himself vnhappie whē in sted of wife a deare frend and choyse companion he findes a deadly emmie one that hath done him vnrecouerable shame one that delightes in his death and with whome hee hath no assurance of his life Of like quality is this estate in a woman when she sees her selfe forsaken and despised She that hath no honor but by her husband finding her selfe to be contemned despised to behold a base strumpet preferred before her to endure her brauadoes insteed of being supported by her lord and spouse to whom she is vowed and dedicated to whom she hath giuen her goods and person for whomse choyse she iefused very many sufficient offers of whom she might haue beene much better regarded and honoured what life I pray ye is it to be thought that she poore soule endureth There is nothing that more offendeth any one then to see himselfe despised and contemned as also nothing more contenteth the hart then to feele the loue and affecttion of well willers and iaclosie neuer commeth without conceie of scorne and disdayne A woman seeing her selfe maryed to a man and giuing her selfe only to him no other are to bee regarded by her not finding the like in her husbande and honestly knowes not how to reuendge her wrong what dooth she then but weepe and lament yet with all she considers with her selfe that the faultes in a man are corrigible and tif should he see the like blemish in some oher bad bodie who therefore goes as hated of all men it would be a meanes of his amendment I haue seene diuers who haue dearely loued their wiues after they haue sundry tvmes before gon away and forsaken them but this doth hardly hold in some Linde of men because infamie remaynes in the woman not in the man God is more readie to pardon and forgiue a sin then man is he forgets withall a sinne so soone as he hath pardoned it but a man dooth continually remember it in regard that honour is like to a glasse which beeing once broken can neuer be made whole agayne VVe haue spoken of iealosie in man and wife let vs saye somewhat of the same in amorous persons and to speake truely I finde that loue not being fastened by by the scale of marriage is dayly subiect to the changes of Fortune for one while it hopes a nother while despayres now full of feare then by and by assured now doubting then rioting now in fauour then reiected often ending and beginning againe according to the oppinion of Plato It is an estate of no certaintie and therfore from such as are subiect thereto iealosie can very hardly be absent for delight is not tied therto but if it be it is with great danger and inconuenience Therfore it is impossible but iealosie sometimes must be medling therwith yet not in such daungerous sort as in the state of mariage because wher faith is not giuen if any impeach happen it is more excusable then when faith feeles it selfe neglected and abused Contrarywise it seemes that iealosie in looue is commendable because therby is witnessed how highly a man esteemes her whom he affecteth as beeing angry and displeased at vnkinde wordes or greeuing for the absence of his louer according as one compares the case to a mother that mournes for her infant whome shee supposed lost which if shee should not do her affection might be saide to be verie small For which I would aduise some meane as in all other things for it ensues often times to great inconueniences by brauadoes and repulses giuen and taken Therefore it becomes them to deale wisely and discreetely in these affaires As concerning iealosie betweene two friends certainly it is to be reprooued by reason distrust engenders disagreement declaring the little credence and repute which eche holdes of other for there is no man but he will be offended at the iniurie receiued by his friend the rather because his hope is frustrated and he findes not his friend so entire as he suppoed him to be But in what amitie or friendship soeuer icalosie ought not to be without some cause expressed and knowen Likewise it is verie hard to hinder it when the occasion is great and too apparant VVho loueth any thing dearely feareth the losse thereof and takes it more grieuously when it is lost The like eason of sorrowing for such losse agrees with deep passion when it cannot be attained but farre exceedeth when it is quite lost indeede For to apart with a thing peaceably possest is verie irksome whereas things neuer enioyed cause the lesse greeuance It is not possible for a good mind that loueth
truely and doth whatsoeuer he can for another but he must needes be displeased when he beholdes his loue not to be requited but is answered with strangenesse and ingratitude as if all his seed hath beene bestowed vpon a barren soyle and all his trauaile prooues fruitlesse returning him no profite But they who once are entred into a league of true amitie ought on both sydes verie carefully preserue their allianuce for if at anye time it chaunce to bee bruised and broken if it vnite agayn afterward it is very wonderfull except consideration of that which caused the breache doo prooue the meanes to help it againe else it had beene much better for eyther part that such a vnion had neuer beene betweene them Of the passions of Loue. The sixt Discoure LOue is a passion so forcible in our soules as therein all affections are contayned and comprised Foure things there are that do torment our mindes and hat in such sort as they seeme like the windes that tosse a ship vp and downe to wit hatred loue feare and hope These foure passions are in loue and in such order are they there as they can neuer be excluded thence The Poets in their writings haue left vs sufficient testemonie thereof but muchmore is that which we feele and finde in our owne selues Therefore in regard of these foure affections a man is hindered in iudgement and so by good right is loue figured and set foorth to be blinde These foure one after another in their seuerall degrees doo occupie and labour the mindes of the amorous and holdes them as it were in a continuall traualye for when hope lifteth vp feare and distrust castes downe agayne looue makes a man imagine it a pleasure but then some vnkinde crosse turnes is to greefe and then he growes in hate of that which impeached him in his pleasure But aboue all that which procureth moste paine is the priuate looue we beare to our selues which at the first fight may seeme very straung because he that looues not hateth him selfe as one affirmeth and there is nothing more contrarie to looue then this Philaftia which is nothing else but looue of our selues Notwithstanding because I haue so found it by experience I say that he which looueth and is not againe requited with the lyke feeles nothing to him more insupportable then to see himselfe misprised not listned to nor regarded for then he growes to contempte of himselfe that he is not of any worth hansome or gracious but lothsome and vnfightly when he beholdes an other preferd before him and he repulsed at the very first onset then he laies all blame he can deuise on him selfe alleadging these perswasions that if he were of any desert or any matter woorth affecting were in him his mistresse would haue giuen him better entertainement or else at the least would haue made some account of him And so much the more as nature hath giuen vs a care to prochase to our selues all aduantages and benefits to the end that what she hath brought foorth might encrease and be encreased in the first intirnesse euen so is grefe the more hurtfull when a man cannot reach to the degree of others affabilitie and attayne those good partes necessarie to make himselfe affeced so that a man holding nothing dearer then emiche himselfe with such graces as are generally beloued and desired feeles an exceeding dislike when he perceiues himselfe faultie and some noted defect makes him repulsed and not esteemed And it is very true that we neuer know our owne imperfections till we growe to desire and aduancemente of our selues for when we perceiue our crossing and constrayning then we doo finde more acknowledgment of our selues When a man keepes a piece of golde in his pursse or chest he knowes not then the estemation of it he sees it hath the couller lookes very fayre and hath the stampe impressed on it but when he bringes it abroad would deliuer it in payment and sees it brought to poysing to endure the touche or sounding and then it proues counterfeict by publique oppinion why then he findes himselfe nothing enriched by the piece but a matter which is vtterly vnaduantageable The tryall of a man is when he makes offer of him selfe and standes taxed to abyde good lyking or disgrace If then he be refused first of all he findes fault with his want of desert because indeede we naturally holde it as a singular commendation to be perfect in all partes and beeing desirous of honour we couet to be so esteemed by others It followes then that a man in this case nothing accounted of greeues because hee cannot compasse his inent and sees no other helpe yet well vnderstanding that as he looues his mistresse for a certayne occasion to wit because she is fayre gracious gentle and honest so should he on his parte haue somewhat wherby to gaine her loue for loue groundes his foundation vppon some especiall cause Then when he sees he hath nothing good in him-selfe whereby to attract mooue and procure her affection toward him then he growes out of all hope of compassing his purpose then he becomes sad melancholique solitarie shunning the light and societie of men Neuer-the-lesse as we can very quickly make our selues beleeue that there is some matter of worth remayning in vs then hope yeeldes some mittigation but comming then presently agayne to perceiue that we are not of any reckoning eyther because the opinion of people is diuers and oftentymes a woman setteth her lyking on a man of least descart alas it is impossible to conceiue how much the poore minde is then tormented with continuall cursings exclaiming on the houre of our birth But what would such a man man doe if he had a iudge there present to censure on his cause in loue Doubtlesse hewould conceiue some hope that the good nesse of his plea should be to his aduantage and so to compasse that by iustice which otherwise by fauour is vtterly denyed him But the estate of a man dependes on the inclynation of his mistresse she is of this humour heere then she takes pleasure annon to be there and will not resolutely determine on any thing but still is chaunable in her oppinions VVhat remedie can the poore man apply to these moodes he now intreates to proceede by her grace and not in the iustice of his cause his mistresse is the iudge and himselfe standes for his tryall he beginnes his plea but she is become so humorous as the more she is followed desired and entreated the further of flyes she closing her eyes cares and hart altogether farre dissenting from them of best crudition who hate to be touchte with any act of vngentlenesse There are two wayes to winne a woman by to wit delectation which makes her beautie esteemed and so to be desirous of iouissaunce of which kinde there be many which seeme colde enough outwardly eyther by course of nature in themselues or deeming that they are fayre
enough for them The other is when they are desirous of the beautie of the minde for then they make reconing of any good doone them or of such as entertaynes them with ciuill demeanour But the mischiefe is that the most parte are so curious of their bodies bestowing so much tyme time in decking themselues like puppets that they neuer thinke at all on the dignitie of the minde and when they are with such as would giue them some contentment in their thoughts eyther because they are not capable of any good thing or not willing to be therewith acquainted they turne their heades asyde contenting themselues with their delicate decking to shew a good countenaunce vse many circumstances as also to be generally gazed on and pursued by many that if now and then they vouchsafe so much fauour as to listen the speeches of an honest gentle minde they doe it but to be lookt at by others and to carrie the reporte that they are beloued and soughtafter not minding at all what els is then sayde to them But as forthem that are agreeable to their disposition entertayning them with sportes and recreations it falles out oftentymes that they are the veriest sottes and most vnfurnished by nature but in respect they be braue and gallant they are the best welcome and cheefest fauoured Nor let vs meruayle ouer-much heereat because like must still agree with like and the one should not mocke the other therefore he that yeeldes them any courtesie especially in publique he must be very braue for the goodlier man hee is and costlier apparelled the more do they imagine them-selues to be honoured when they are followed and fauoured of any such Now they that carry another respect then to be Lackyed by hueries or helde with friuolou discoursings or in themselus to declare any other behauiour then may beseeme their modestie and discretion it is hell to them to be otherwise solicited for if they desire entertaynemeut by any they must then be such as themselues are respectiue of a maidens good fame and reputatiō for when any other language is vsed to them then agrees with their liking and vnderstanding they quicklye finde meanes to leaue such companie But if we come a little nearer to consider the behauiour of these nice ones what pickt ceremonies they vse in their courtinges we shall beholde the onely follies in the worlde one will stand a whole day vpon his protestings another shewes his ringes playes with his mistresses glooue or prayses her apparell and prooues himselfe a very sotte when all is doone but if they attayne to more priuate skirmishing that I meddle not withall let them there doe their deuoire as they may and let their mistresses then censure of their deseruing As for their discoursing together it is to detract one heere and prayse another there to commend one maydens perfections condemne the demeanour of another so that were their amorous orations well listned vnto we would greatly lament their wonderfull indiscretion I haue beene in place among wise and reuerend persons where I haue noted good discourse hath bene broken off by such as entercoursed in this idle manner mocking and scorning when better behauiour should be vsed One beginnes and takes his mistresse by the hand to count how many ringes she hath on her fingers talking of some place where he sawe her in former tyme requesting renewing of olde acquaintaunce others of other matters such as best is fitting their humoures then beginnes the confusion of ciuilitie the thawe of modestie and such things conferd on that might better beseeme silence Ye shall haue another who fayne would entertayne the tyme with some honourable discourse such as deserueth to bee heedefully regarded and he is hindred by anothers vayne dalliaunce that neuer is satisfied in his fonde behaniour making no spare of place or companie but euerie where discouering his follie and simplenesse Another comes in hast and he hath some secret to disclose which makes the women flock about him immediately what is this secret but that is admitted into such a Ladies fauour and hath receiued such and such instaunces of her kindnesse towarde him Some of these coy wantons haue their onely delight in walking abroad with a stately pace lending their eyes about on euery side to marke who notes them and I know no other reason they haue for this behauiour but that their fine feete might be gazed at their gay lookes commended and their braue apparell praysed If they standat home in their doers haue any of like disposition to acompany them they will seeme as if they talked on some very weightie matter when eyther it is of their pryde or quipping and girding such as passe by them and no man or woman can goe along the streete but they are still prepared for their gecks and tauntings Others there be of a different nature that pretending loue to men yet coole when they should kindle them and kindle when they should coole them one while they giue them so good lookes as no one can desire better then in meere despight they will stare so straungely as if they had neuer seene them before counterfciting their deuises so cunningly one while so lothe then agayne so forwarde as if they were to treate on a peace betweene two nations as heeretofore our auncient women of the Gaules did who eemed not so slacke in a case of importaunce as our women at this present in thinges of no value at all And one storie of their valour I am contnet to alleadge to stirre vp and encite our dames at this day to immitate them and contrariewise to shun and flye all wordly vanities and heere will I setit downe breefly in writing as I haue heertofore read it in the Romane histories Before the Gaules passed the mountaines of the Alpes continuing in those partes of Italie where they had long remayned there happened such a great and violent sedition among them that at length it extended to ciuill warre But what then did these generous women of Gaule euen as the two armies were meeting together they stept in betweene them and taking their cause of difference in hand they censured thereon with so great equitie and so well to the liking of eyther side that it procured looue and good will naturally betweene Cittie and Cittie house and house as since then they haue held an especiall authoritie not onely well thought on by their husbandes but likewise allowed in the iudgement of straungers I could easily recite many other examples concerning the continencie and modestie of the auncient dames of Gaule and other straungers were it not I stand in feare that diuers now liuing would be displeased therewith because to their shame they went so farre beyond them in all the partes of vertue as in modestie shamefastnes and chastitie yea they haue beene exceded by very pagan women who had no knowledge at all of the truth For I know very well that the most of our women of these times couet nothing more then to be flattered so that to vse speache agreeable with their lyking it must bein comparing them to Courtiers and their betters numbring their vertues though they haue iust none at all or despising others in regard of their singularitie And if question be made of entrance into their discoursings why then it is a demaunding of some newes such a one is to be maryed such a one hath giuen chaynes and iewelles to his mistresse She is very gallant she hath such a new fashioned garment with other such like peeuish pratling which yet they account as excellent and meete to be compared with Appollos Oracles because therme consters their onely pleasure But when any Lady or Gentlewoman happens to be thus solicited let me aduise them as I would doe all other by the couragious and vertuous answere of Gorgia daughter to Cleomenes King of Sparta who when a straunge courtier tripping before her softly and delicately came and offered to imbrace her she rudely thrust him away saying Back bold sir knowest thou not the worth of a womans credit this example is sufficient for vertuous women to repulse the effeminate follies of men But men of good mindes despise to conferre so ouer familiarly with any respecting aswel their quallitie as their honor and modestie remembring withall that bashfullnesse forbids answeres to vnseemely questions commonly the inward disposition is witnessed by our woordes Yet will I not denye but there may passe speeches both merrily and modestly such as a chast care may heare and answere without offence VVhich if men on their behalfe would be more familiare withall they should finde women not so curious and straunge when they breake the yee to them of their amorous purposes FINIS