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the_o only_a way_n of_o cure_n but_o nothing_o more_o ordinary_o neglect_v by_o such_o as_o only_o affect_v to_o say_v something_o to_o draw_v a_o fee_n but_o will_v be_v sure_a not_o to_o trouble_v their_o own_o mind_n to_o cure_v their_o patient_n but_o from_o such_o god_n deliver_v i_o who_o will_v as_o little_o admit_v they_o to_o the_o trial_n of_o my_o disease_n and_o constitution_n as_o the_o law_n do_v a_o butcher_n to_o be_v a_o juror_n purge_v medicine_n shall_v be_v his_o last_o refuge_n after_o prescription_n of_o convenient_a exercise_n order_n and_o diet_n which_o by_o some_o of_o the_o best_a be_v affirm_v to_o be_v sufficient_a to_o cure_v any_o disease_n curable_a he_o will_v affect_v cheerfulness_n of_o countenance_n and_o fashion_n for_o it_o be_v a_o cordial_n to_o the_o sick_a but_o he_o will_v take_v heed_n of_o a_o unseasonable_a merriment_n which_o be_v often_o as_o absurd_a as_o unwelcome_a to_o the_o seriousness_n of_o a_o sick_a man_n a_o thousand_o thing_n have_v be_v and_o may_v be_v say_v to_o his_o instruction_n for_o no_o art_n more_o require_v it_o but_o this_o in_o sum_n shall_v serve_v my_o turn_n who_o mean_v only_o to_o say_v something_o of_o a_o good_a but_o not_o to_o work_v a_o cure_n upou_fw-fr a_o bad_a physician_n i_o conclude_v that_o physic_n have_v need_n have_v a_o god_n as_o well_o to_o the_o practice_n as_o to_o the_o invention_n of_o it_o for_o error_n be_v so_o gross_a and_o ordinary_a disease_n and_o symptom_n so_o complicate_v indication_n so_o cross_v nature_n and_o constitution_n so_o diverse_o affect_v in_o crisis_n and_o evacuation_n nor_o do_v she_o ever_o powerful_o show_v herself_o till_o she_o be_v put_v to_o it_o for_o life_n purge_v and_o blood-letting_n prove_v so_o ordinary_o diverter_n impediment_n and_o weakner_n in_o stead_n of_o helper_n to_o nature_n and_o see_v by_o a_o mistake_n we_o call_v those_o our_o disease_n which_o be_v in_o truth_n the_o work_n of_o nature_n towards_o our_o cure_n and_o the_o discharge_n of_o herself_o as_o in_o fit_n of_o ague_n colic_o the_o stone_n and_o the_o like_a for_o my_o part_n i_o choose_v rather_o with_o david_n to_o put_v myself_o into_o the_o hand_n of_o god_n than_o man_n who_o endeavour_n of_o cure_n and_o error_n make_v we_o ordinary_o more_o misreable_a than_o our_o disease_n itself_o i_o end_v to_o my_o good_a doctor_n with_o that_o counsel_n of_o the_o scripture_n whereupon_o it_o be_v to_o be_v hope_v that_o he_o will_v guide_v his_o practice_n namely_o that_o he_o and_o his_o art_n be_v to_o be_v employ_v upon_o necessity_n which_o i_o think_v to_o be_v for_o the_o sense_n be_v ambiguous_a in_o such_o case_n where_o nature_n and_o diet_n have_v ever_o appear_v defective_a to_o work_v a_o cure_n and_o that_o his_o art_n upon_o infalliblâ—_n and_o clear_a ground_n have_v ever_o be_v find_v successful_a a_o lawyer_n a_o good_a lawyer_n be_v so_o fall_v in_o love_n with_o my_o lady_n justice_n that_o there_o be_v no_o great_a antipathy_n in_o the_o world_n then_o betwixt_o he_o and_o injury_n nor_o hate_v he_o any_o thing_n more_o than_o a_o undue_a course_n of_o proceed_v he_o will_v make_v his_o science_n compatible_a with_o conscience_n and_o so_o run_v her_o course_n that_o at_o the_o length_n he_o may_v be_v think_v a_o fit_a judge_n to_o preside_v her_o high_a court_n of_o chancery_n he_o will_v have_v a_o great_a feeling_n of_o the_o cause_n and_o interest_n of_o his_o client_n then_o of_o his_o fee_n and_o entertain_v the_o defence_n of_o it_o for_o just_a will_v affect_v more_o the_o gain_n of_o it_o to_o he_o then_o to_o himself_o reputation_n his_o carriage_n shall_v not_o be_v only_o perfunctory_a neither_o in_o the_o take_a notice_n nor_o in_o the_o plead_n of_o the_o cause_n but_o he_o will_v both_o search_v and_o plead_v it_o home_o without_o tenderness_n either_o of_o his_o pain_n or_o of_o the_o judge_n his_o displeasure_n he_o will_v not_o so_o much_o frame_v his_o practice_n to_o corru_fw-la to_o custom_n as_o to_o honesty_n nor_o bear_v his_o eye_n on_o the_o paper_n of_o his_o present_a client_n and_o his_o mind_n on_o the_o fee_n that_o press_v at_o his_o closet_n door_n he_o will_v esteem_v his_o take_n no_o better_o than_o theft_n without_o the_o industry_n of_o deserve_v and_o of_o himself_o worse_a than_o of_o a_o thief_n if_o his_o client_n rely_v upon_o he_o he_o appear_v not_o in_o his_o defence_n yet_o go_v away_o with_o his_o money_n wherefore_o he_o will_v entertain_v no_o other_o cause_n than_o he_o can_v honest_o go_v through_o nor_o take_v fee_n without_o a_o resolution_n to_o discharge_v his_o duty_n for_o they_o though_o the_o law_n be_v a_o imperious_a lady_n and_o unsociable_a yet_o he_o will_v endeavour_v to_o accompany_v she_o with_o the_o study_n of_o other_o literature_n whereby_o to_o breed_v her_o better_a respect_n and_o his_o own_o prevalence_n and_o indeed_o the_o study_n be_v somewhat_o dry_a and_o dull_a require_v other_o learning_n wherewith_o to_o lard_v and_o grace_v it_o he_o will_v rather_o fast_o from_o employment_n then_o become_v patron_n of_o a_o unjust_a cause_n especial_o without_o have_v first_o deliver_v to_o his_o client_n his_o opinion_n of_o the_o nature_n thereof_o and_o the_o probability_n of_o the_o success_n he_o will_v not_o make_v a_o jest_n of_o his_o profession_n as_o some_o of_o they_o do_v affirm_v their_o practice_n a_o pretty_a trick_n to_o get_v money_n a_o contention_n of_o wit_n and_o purse_n a_o politic_a pastime_n to_o entertain_v busy_a brain_n a_o a_o duel_n where_o the_o great_a stroke_n be_v give_v underhand_o but_o will_v so_o defend_v right_a and_o justice_n as_o he_o will_v wish_v to_o be_v defend_v by_o they_o in_o his_o best_a title_n and_o innocence_n a_o soldier_n to_o be_v a_o good_a soldier_n and_o commander_n he_o must_v know_v well_o how_o to_o obey_v and_o command_v himself_o he_o must_v temper_v his_o judgement_n with_o courage_n and_o valour_n with_o discretion_n he_o will_v not_o be_v greedy_a of_o other_o employment_n than_o such_o who_o issue_n be_v likely_a to_o breed_v his_o honour_n and_o though_o he_o owe_v obedience_n to_o his_o king_n or_o superior_a yet_o if_o any_o such_o execution_n shall_v be_v impose_v upon_o he_o as_o appear_v not_o feasible_a unto_o he_o he_o will_v first_o discharge_v his_o duty_n in_o discover_v the_o improbability_n but_o be_v press_v by_o their_o authority_n will_v undergo_v the_o charge_n with_o all_o alacrity_n and_o forwardness_n he_o be_v constitute_v a_o corrector_n of_o vice_n and_o disorder_n in_o other_o and_o therefore_o must_v in_o no_o sort_n admit_v they_o in_o himself_o especial_o that_o of_o drink_v which_o be_v too_o ordinary_o incident_a to_o his_o profession_n for_o if_o it_o be_v possible_a he_o shall_v be_v more_o than_o a_o man_n but_o that_o make_v he_o less_o and_o it_o be_v to_o be_v admire_v how_o such_o as_o profess_v and_o be_v general_o in_o love_n with_o honour_n and_o reputation_n so_o far_o as_o they_o will_v venture_v their_o life_n upon_o small_a punctilioe_n to_o the_o maintain_v thereof_o can_v consent_v to_o overwhelm_v themselves_o with_o such_o a_o vice_n as_o draw_v a_o undervalue_a contempt_n and_o scorn_n upon_o they_o even_o from_o the_o mean_a sort_n of_o people_n though_o it_o be_v most_o unfit_a for_o a_o good_a commander_n to_o be_v prodigal_a of_o his_o own_o life_n or_o his_o soldier_n upon_o a_o undue_a hazard_n yet_o their_o condition_n be_v such_o as_o to_o have_v sell_v themselves_o to_o mortal_a adventure_n he_o will_v be_v ambitious_a of_o nothing_o more_o than_o to_o meet_v with_o a_o fair_a occasion_n of_o die_v in_o the_o bed_n of_o honour_n and_o who_o fear_v death_n will_v never_o be_v fit_v for_o that_o profession_n and_o therefore_o will_v maintain_v himself_o prepare_v for_o it_o he_o must_v in_o the_o exercise_n of_o his_o call_n be_v a_o enemy_n to_o sloth_n and_o idleness_n and_o keep_v they_o from_o creep_v upon_o he_o as_o he_o will_v do_v his_o blade_n from_o rust_n a_o continual_a vigilance_n must_v be_v the_o sentinel_n of_o safety_n to_o himself_o and_o the_o troop_n under_o he_o his_o take_a notice_n of_o well_o deserver_n his_o good_a example_n and_o fair_a promise_n will_v animate_v his_o soldier_n and_o he_o will_v ever_o prove_v himself_o just_a of_o his_o word_n both_o to_o they_o and_o the_o enemy_n for_o if_o he_o often_o deceive_v and_o forfeit_v the_o trust_n and_o confidence_n that_o ought_v to_o be_v repose_v therein_o he_o must_v impute_v other_o diffidence_n to_o his_o own_o fault_n and_o will_v find_v it_o a_o perpetual_a prejudice_n unto_o he_o he_o will_v make_v it_o a_o principal_a care_n to_o well_o discipline_n his_o man_n before_o he_o bring_v they_o into_o service_n for_o that_o make_v the_o
see_v thought_n stagg'r_v reel_n whilst_o the_o poor_a bark_n do_v roll_v cling_v to_o the_o mast_n pray_v labour_n from_o to_o the_o lee_n throw_v out_o their_o lade_n wrestle_v with_o the_o wave_n sink_v down_o their_o sail_n now_o lift_v up_o on_o high_a now_o almost_o swallow_v in_o the_o abyss_n of_o grave_n now_o a_o clear_a heaven_n and_o straight_o a_o dismal_a sky_n here_o learn_v how_o fair_a day_n may_v overcast_v confound_a all_o your_o quiet_n with_o a_o blast_n what_o master_v i_o to_o day_n may_v you_o to_o morrow_n but_o for_o our_o comfort_n god_n can_v master_v sorrow_n here_o see_v how_o in_o a_o sanguine_a complexion_n when_o god_n grace_n begin_v powerful_o to_o shine_v and_o work_v as_o in_o the_o month_n of_o march_n and_o turn_v of_o the_o year_n storm_n upon_o storm_n and_o frigida_fw-la pugnabant_fw-la calidis_fw-la humentia_fw-la siccis_fw-la mollia_fw-la cum_fw-la duris_fw-la sine_fw-la pondere_fw-la habentia_fw-la pondus_fw-la till_o deus_fw-la have_v litem_fw-la &_o melior_fw-la natura_fw-la diremit_fw-la my_o perverse_a fortune_n from_o my_o youth_n with_o my_o melancholy_a disease_n fruitful_a in_o nothing_o but_o thought_n and_o those_o not_o ever_o the_o most_o necessary_a or_o natural_a have_v often_o occasion_v i_o with_o reflection_n upon_o myself_o to_o write_v something_o not_o so_o much_o to_o apologise_v for_o alas_o it_o be_v vain_a where_o there_o may_v have_v be_v prevention_n as_o to_o give_v some_o ease_n to_o myself_o and_o extenuation_n in_o what_o i_o may_v mis-appeare_a to_o the_o world_n but_o i_o have_v often_o be_v divert_v from_o such_o discourse_n by_o the_o overgrow_a wilderness_n which_o long_a time_n and_o confusion_n have_v bring_v upon_o i_o yet_o thus_o much_o let_v i_o say_v for_o myself_o and_o wonder_v at_o myself_o in_o that_o i_o may_v true_o say_v so_o that_o neither_o carelessness_n prodigality_n nor_o a_o humour_n dispose_v to_o riot_n or_o luxury_n have_v breed_v my_o harm_n nay_o if_o there_o be_v any_o truth_n in_o i_o nothing_o have_v more_o procure_v it_o than_o a_o misguide_a sobriety_n of_o diet_n with_o such_o a_o inordinate_a care_n for_o the_o order_n of_o my_o fortune_n in_o my_o beginning_n find_v myself_o pen_v and_o engage_v to_o wife_n and_o child_n as_o whatsoever_o may_v be_v conceive_v i_o dare_v affirm_v no_o man_n of_o ripe_a year_n and_o judgement_n but_o may_v have_v fall_v into_o and_o will_v whensoever_o it_o shall_v please_v god_n to_o entangle_v he_o in_o divers_a and_o strong_a encumbrance_n inward_a and_o outward_a which_o in_o the_o circumstance_n of_o my_o condition_n so_o malign_o concur_v that_o be_v something_o by_o nature_n and_o more_o by_o accident_n mis-diet_n over_o apprehension_n and_o studiousnesse_n dispose_v to_o a_o strong_a melancholy_n it_o be_v impossible_a to_o extricate_v myself_o without_o such_o a_o aggravation_n as_o render_v it_o incurable_a and_o i_o most_o miserable_a in_o the_o shipwreck_n of_o all_o joy_n and_o contentment_n wherein_o find_v myself_o thus_o plunge_v one_o while_o my_o refuge_n be_v to_o the_o helpless_a physician_n and_o another_o at_o last_o to_o strong_a diversion_n such_o as_o part_n building_n court_n company_n travail_n and_o the_o like_a which_o all_o prove_v but_o such_o miserable_a helper_n as_o melancholy_a man_n use_v to_o find_v full_a of_o expense_n which_o till_o then_o about_o my_o age_n of_o 25._o from_o 18._o when_o i_o be_v marry_v i_o have_v avoid_v building_n as_o troublesome_a both_o to_o my_o fancy_n and_o purse_n i_o soon_o leave_v and_o the_o loss_n of_o the_o brave_a prince_n henry_n on_o who_o i_o have_v lay_v my_o ground_n with_o much_o sickness_n soon_o after_o cast_v i_o down_o and_o increase_v my_o disease_n i_o become_v unable_a to_o make_v use_n either_o of_o my_o natural_a part_n or_o time_n and_o expense_n bestow_v in_o court_n thought_n beget_v melancholy_a and_o that_o i_o thought_n alternative_o it_o be_v questionable_a whether_o i_o do_v more_o hurt_v myself_o with_o my_o thought_n which_o many_o year_n together_o long_o since_o bring_v i_o often_o even_o to_o a_o utter_a exhaustion_n or_o whether_o with_o god_n assistance_n in_o a_o strong_a constitution_n of_o body_n and_o mind_n for_o have_v not_o god_n furnish_v i_o with_o as_o strong_a and_o present_a supply_n of_o extrication_n as_o intrication_n i_o must_v often_o have_v perish_v i_o more_o extraordinary_o relieve_v and_o support_v myself_o to_o subsist_v against_o the_o impetuous_a rectitude_n curiosity_n of_o my_o disease_n and_o nature_n but_o my_o unhappiness_n have_v also_o be_v such_o as_o in_o critical_a time_n of_o my_o life_n to_o have_v meet_v with_o such_o unlucky_a cross_n and_o connexion_n of_o fate_n to_o put_v i_o out_o of_o my_o course_n that_o the_o consideration_n thereof_o will_v make_v any_o man_n not_o otherwise_o superstitious_a take_v knowledge_n of_o a_o overrule_a hand_n therein_o whereunto_o i_o humble_o thank_v god_n i_o so_o submit_v myself_o as_o that_o for_o my_o spiritual_a good_a i_o acknowledge_v there_o aught_o to_o have_v go_v no_o less_o to_o work_v a_o total_a conversion_n in_o i_o so_o hard_o be_v sanctification_n to_o be_v wrought_v even_o in_o man_n of_o religious_a inclination_n for_o my_o posterity_n i_o must_v crave_v their_o pardon_n hope_v they_o will_v with_o i_o submit_v to_o the_o almighty_a hand_n which_o can_v at_o its_o good_a pleasure_n as_o well_o raise_v as_o ruin_v worldly_n confidence_n illude_v nor_o can_v any_o thing_n confirm_v prosperity_n in_o this_o and_o the_o better_a world_n but_o a_o firm_a faith_n and_o resolve_v obedience_n to_o god_n and_o his_o son_n in_o who_o alone_o be_v salvation_n that_o that_o alone_o can_v reconcile_v and_o calm_v the_o contrariety_n of_o our_o complexion_n in_o the_o distraction_n of_o pleasure_n profit_n conscience_n honour_n decency_n authority_n over_o other_o or_o a_o self-injoying_a make_v true_a religion_n the_o only_a star_n of_o our_o course_n whilst_o other_o for_o want_n of_o it_o sometime_o wild_o float_v and_o sometime_o sink_v in_o the_o confusion_n of_o their_o passion_n good_a intention_n without_o firm_a resolution_n be_v insufficient_a no_o man_n have_v mean_v more_o thrifty_o than_o myself_o but_o alas_o in_o what_o a_o mist_n of_o contrary_a indication_n and_o contingency_n do_v we_o live_v when_o i_o conclude_v against_o housekeeping_n i_o have_v be_v indulgent_o overrule_v by_o other_o to_o the_o contrary_n and_o this_o i_o have_v find_v a_o great_a error_n in_o my_o nature_n to_o have_v be_v more_o apt_a to_o gratify_v other_o than_o myself_o and_o to_o believe_v they_o often_o more_o wise_a and_o trusty_a wisdom_n then_o there_o be_v due_a cause_n a_o miserable_a condition_n of_o the_o better_a nature_n engagement_n to_o wife_n and_o servant_n make_v over-necessary_a take_v away_o the_o liberty_n of_o our_o resolution_n to_o intend_v thrift_n be_v common_o enough_o to_o enrich_v but_o woeful_a experience_n teach_v i_o that_o disease_n and_o cross_n such_o may_v come_v as_o shall_v turn_v the_o strong_a out_o of_o his_o way_n no_o man_n more_o abhor_a debt_n fell_v and_o fell_v than_o myself_o yet_o few_o have_v more_o incur_v they_o no_o man_n almost_o have_v allow_v himself_o less_o cost_n or_o sensuality_n than_o i_o yet_o the_o diversion_n my_o disease_n have_v urge_v i_o unto_o have_v set_v another_o face_n upon_o i_o towards_o such_o as_o be_v not_o acquaint_v with_o my_o inside_n and_o native_a affection_n few_o have_v more_o affect_v the_o service_n of_o king_n country_n and_o friend_n not_o have_v by_o accident_n be_v more_o unserviceable_a i_o ever_o extreme_o fancy_v my_o chief_a feat_n yet_o fear_v of_o cost_n in_o fit_v the_o house_n and_o height_n of_o charge_n in_o live_v there_o by_o occasion_n of_o such_o a_o eminent_a fear_n with_o other_o accidental_a consideration_n keep_v i_o thence_o till_o such_o time_n as_o my_o fortune_n be_v most_o unfit_a for_o that_o and_o it_o for_o i_o and_o yet_o against_o much_o reason_n and_o interest_n of_o my_o own_o i_o be_v draw_v with_o relation_n to_o my_o predecessor_n and_o posterity_n to_o settle_v myself_o there_o with_o so_o much_o cost_n and_o former_o trouble_v as_o but_o by_o the_o grace_n of_o god_n it_o be_v a_o wonder_n how_o in_o such_o indisposition_n and_o lowness_n i_o have_v undergo_v this_o the_o good_a god_n can_v do_v and_o howsoever_o it_o shall_v please_v he_o to_o dispose_v of_o i_o who_o preserve_v hand_n i_o confess_v i_o have_v wonderful_o find_v may_v it_o please_v he_o to_o make_v my_o life_n and_o death_n to_o his_o glory_n it_o be_v all_o my_o ambition_n many_o unlucky_a circumstance_n like_o that_o of_o a_o free_a mind_n enter_v into_o court_n with_o a_o pen_a fortune_n i_o omit_v partly_o in_o respect_n of_o other_o and_o partly_o as_o fit_a to_o be_v confine_v to_o myself_o who_o have_v suffer_v their_o perplexity_n and_o contrariety_n god_n grace_n
though_o the_o melancholic_a patient_n have_v a_o wolf_n by_o the_o ear_n of_o his_o disease_n trouble_v in_o hold_v and_o stir_v and_o unsafe_a to_o let_v go_v yet_o i_o esteem_v it_o a_o poor_a resolution_n to_o suffer_v a_o root_a mischief_n which_o be_v present_o noxious_a and_o will_v more_o and_o more_o grow_v dangerous_a upon_o fear_n of_o adventure_n where_o there_o be_v any_o the_o least_o hope_n of_o deliver_v ourselves_o in_o supportable_a evil_n admit_v and_o excite_v rather_o to_o any_o hazard_n than_o a_o miserable_a toleration_n a_o hopeless_a condition_n be_v most_o calamitous_a a_o well-built_a body_n will_v endure_v and_o work_v out_o very_o much_o like_o a_o good_a ship_n against_o soul_n weather_n at_o sea_n i_o i_o thank_v god_n be_v such_o that_o have_v not_o my_o mind_n like_o a_o evil_a steersman_n infinite_o even_o of_o late_a be_v injurious_a unto_o it_o i_o have_v by_o god_n grace_n infallible_o prevail_v both_o against_o my_o giant_n disease_n and_o infinite_a intervening_a unfriendly_a accident_n but_o by_o god_n help_n i_o daily_o mend_v and_o hope_v to_o leap_v over_o the_o wall_n nil_fw-la desperandum_fw-la in_o christo_fw-la nil_fw-la auspice_n christo._n l'industrie_n est_fw-fr de_fw-fr nous_fw-fr l'heâ—rex_fw-la suceez_fw-fr de_fw-fr dieu_fw-fr december_n 11._o 1637._o to_o give_v we_o courage_n in_o misfortune_n it_o be_v well_o say_v of_o fortune_n that_o her_o course_n be_v irregular_a and_o that_o we_o ought_v not_o to_o despair_v of_o she_o for_o often_o when_o she_o appear_v to_o threaten_v we_o with_o imminent_a ruin_n she_o be_v true_o in_o the_o article_n and_o catastrophe_n of_o our_o good_a and_o advantage_n it_o be_v more_o verify_v in_o the_o way_n of_o god_n nothing_o more_o ordinary_a with_o he_o then_o by_o humble_v we_o to_o exalt_v we_o and_o to_o strew_v the_o path_n to_o heaven_n with_o affliction_n caesar_n animate_v his_o pilot_n by_o carry_v he_o and_o his_o fortune_n it_o be_v a_o vain_a presumption_n but_o he_o who_o the_o almighty_a be_v pilot_n to_o can_v sink_v nor_o miscarry_v to_o demonstrate_v his_o power_n and_o awake_v the_o faith_n of_o his_o favourite_n he_o permit_v as_o to_o his_o disciple_n the_o storm_n to_o rise_v and_o wave_n to_o threaten_v destruction_n and_o in_o his_o mighty_a and_o supernatural_a reskue_n appear_v his_o sweet_a comfort_n his_o great_a glory_n nec_fw-la deus_fw-la intersit_fw-la nisi_fw-la dignus_fw-la vindice_fw-la nodus_fw-la as_o the_o divine_n affirm_v that_o tentation_n proceed_v from_o the_o devil_n may_v be_v distinguish_v by_o their_o violent_a and_o sudden_a surprise_n so_o may_v divine_a deliverance_n be_v infallible_o know_v by_o the_o sudden_a and_o extraordinary_a help_n that_o we_o receive_v from_o they_o at_o such_o time_n as_o our_o condition_n appear_v unto_o we_o most_o irremediable_a and_o desperate_a i_o have_v infinite_a matter_n and_o thanks_o to_o render_v to_o my_o maker_n to_o my_o saviour_n but_o in_o nothing_o more_o than_o that_o of_o his_o abundant_a mercy_n he_o have_v be_v please_v to_o lead_v i_o through_o sea_n through_o wilderness_n of_o trouble_n and_o error_n by_o a_o cloud_n by_o fire_n by_o the_o thunder_n of_o his_o voice_n by_o infinite_a wonder_n for_o near_o forty_o year_n together_o to_o bring_v meat_n last_o to_o his_o happy_a land_n of_o promise_n that_o be_v to_o peace_n joy_n and_o repose_v in_o he_o where_o alone_o flow_v all_o true_a happiness_n and_o fix_a contentment_n there_o can_v in_o truth_n be_v no_o constant_a courage_n without_o a_o firm_a faith_n and_o assurance_n of_o god_n favour_n towards_o we_o that_o alone_o fortify_v we_o against_o danger_n darkness_n and_o death_n december_n 12._o 1637._o it_o be_v true_o say_v that_o we_o know_v so_o much_o as_o we_o put_v in_o practice_n nor_o be_v the_o notion_n and_o float_a impression_n of_o the_o brain_n without_o a_o through_o tincture_n of_o the_o heart_n and_o soul_n any_o effectual_a science_n and_o so_o it_o be_v that_o virtue_n be_v constitute_v a_o habit_n and_o not_o only_o a_o babble_a scientifical_a discourse_n of_o the_o mind_n until_o i_o consider_v this_o i_o often_o wonder_v to_o see_v the_o best_a clerk_n often_o the_o worst_a man_n as_o well_o as_o none_o of_o wise_a man_n read_v and_o study_v common_o rather_o for_o curiosity_n to_o censure_v to_o learn_v language_n and_o the_o course_n and_o manner_n of_o the_o world_n to_o maintain_v a_o side_n to_o gain_v bread_n and_o knowledge_n like_o other_o man_n rather_o than_o truth_n virtue_n and_o piety_n to_o gather_v opinion_n and_o to_o appear_v good_a rather_o than_o to_o be_v propound_v to_o ourselves_o wrong_v object_n no_o wonder_n if_o we_o miss_v the_o right_n which_o make_v so_o many_o scholar_n who_o study_n to_o get_v the_o best_a live_n less_o virtuous_a in_o their_o life_n than_o other_o who_o more_o virtuous_o and_o spiritual_o then_o worldly_a affect_v study_v rather_o to_o nourish_v then_o cloth_n to_o die_v then_o paint_v their_o mind_n corrupt_a nature_n like_o a_o deprave_a stomach_n turn_v and_o assimilate_v all_o nourishment_n it_o make_v a_o alien_n of_o foreign_a instruction_n and_o govern_v itself_o by_o its_o own_o law_n nay_o ordinary_o against_o our_o will_n and_o resolution_n nature_n relapse_n and_o ravish_v we_o from_o our_o moral_n from_o our_o metaphysicals_n sensuality_n prevail_v and_o we_o prevaricate_v with_o our_o conscience_n when_o i_o approach_v god_n sanctuary_n this_o be_v yet_o less_o strange_a unto_o i_o there_o as_o copernicus_n have_v place_v the_o sun_n in_o the_o centre_n of_o this_o universe_n who_o influence_n and_o magnetic_a virtue_n give_v life_n and_o motion_n to_o all_o material_a creature_n so_o be_v it_o clear_a that_o the_o immaterial_a mind_n of_o man_n have_v its_o life_n and_o motion_n only_o from_o the_o good_a spirit_n of_o god_n and_o unless_o by_o his_o influence_n and_o inspiration_n he_o carry_v our_o instruction_n and_o information_n to_o the_o root_n except_o he_o alter_v reform_v and_o season_v our_o heart_n like_o hasty_a shower_n all_o pass_v away_o whereas_o a_o sound_a heavenly_a dew_n work_v a_o better_a water_v and_o fruitfulness_n want_v of_o that_o divine_a irradiation_n make_v we_o such_o mungrill_n such_o half_a christian_n as_o we_o ordinary_o be_v acknowledge_v our_o faith_n and_o saviour_n in_o our_o tongue_n and_o deny_v he_o in_o our_o life_n god_n of_o his_o great_a grace_n grant_v we_o his_o save_a spirit_n and_o we_o shall_v as_o well_o practice_n as_o seem_v to_o know_v and_o profess_v amen_o amen_n december_n 14._o 1637._o no_o wonder_n that_o i_o search_v into_o the_o abstruse_a cause_n and_o proceed_n of_o my_o disease_n for_o i_o be_o a_o wonder_n to_o myself_o that_o a_o sanguine_a complexion_n with_o a_o natural_a strength_n of_o body_n and_o mind_n and_o none_o of_o the_o most_o impertinent_a in_o wit_n and_o discourse_n shall_v fall_v into_o so_o great_a a_o confusion_n and_o consumption_n of_o mind_n body_n and_o fortune_n without_o some_o outward_a most_o apparent_a violence_n but_o beside_o what_o i_o have_v former_o express_v i_o consider_v that_o steep_v myself_o in_o my_o beginning_n in_o the_o study_n of_o mountain_n essay_n which_o be_v full_a of_o scepticism_n and_o a_o kind_n of_o moral_a mortification_n in_o cry_v down_o the_o delight_n and_o presumption_n of_o this_o world_n prove_v to_o a_o taint_a and_o tender_a mind_n a_o great_a amatement_n and_o blunt_v with_o a_o anxious_a disposition_n of_o doubt_n in_o the_o ordinary_a course_n and_o pleasure_n of_o this_o life_n that_o and_o much_o adverse_a accident_n nip_v i_o in_o my_o first_o spring_n otherwise_o in_o all_o probability_n i_o who_o in_o that_o lowness_n and_o oppression_n of_o spirit_n which_o have_v possess_v i_o can_v yet_o so_o bear_v up_o as_o in_o some_o measure_n to_o become_v seek_v and_o respect_v by_o the_o better_a sort_n may_v have_v be_v somewhat_o more_o than_o i_o have_v be_v in_o the_o eminency_n of_o this_o world_n but_o the_o great_a and_o good_a god_n have_v otherwise_o ordain_v nor_o be_o i_o without_o hope_n that_o he_o who_o have_v to_o this_o day_n so_o wonderful_o support_v and_o convert_v i_o will_v thereby_o work_v his_o glory_n and_o my_o good_a it_o be_v true_a that_o my_o course_n have_v be_v most_o improsperous_a yet_o never_o of_o a_o gross_o irrational_a or_o unthrifty_a election_n i_o have_v in_o truth_n be_v so_o far_o from_o humour_v myself_o in_o the_o impulsion_n of_o nature_n or_o most_o delightful_a object_n of_o my_o fancy_n that_o i_o have_v main_o resist_v myself_o therein_o it_o have_v please_v god_n to_o make_v i_o a_o instrument_n of_o cross_v and_o punish_v myself_o in_o whatsoever_o i_o most_o place_v my_o mind_n the_o obstinate_a continuance_n of_o my_o disease_n and_o the_o fail_n of_o those_o who_o i_o have_v trust_v and_o rely_v upon_o have_v abuse_v i_o i_o have_v lose_v much_o