Iesus shall be with me as a strong warrior and thou shalt remaine confounded 19 I had rather dye and undergoe any torment then to consent unto thee Hold thy peace and be silent I will hear thee no more though thou shouldest worke me many troubles 20 My Lord is my light and my salvation whom then shall I feare If whole armies should stand together against me my heart shall not feare Our Lord is my helper and my Redeemer 21 Fight like a good souldier and if thou sometimes fall through frailty take to thee a better heart then before trusting in my more aboundant grace and take great heed of arrogancy and selfe-conceit 22 For this cause many are led into errour and sometimes fall into blindnesse that is almost incurable 23 Let the fall of the proud foolishly presuming of their own strength serve thee for a warning and a perpetuall humiliation CHAP. VII That grace is to be hid under the veile of humility SOnne it is more profitable and safe for thee to hide the grace of devotion not to extoll thy selfe nor to speak much nor to esteeme much thereof but rather to despise thy selfe and fear it as given to one unworthy thereof 2 That affection is not to be cleared unto which may be quickly changed into the contrary Think when thou art in grace how miserable and needy thou art wont to be without it 3 Neither doth therein only conâ—ist the progresse of a spirituall life when thou hast the grace of comfort but when thou humbly and patiently canst suffer the with-drawing thereof 4 So that thou be not then lesse diligent in the exercise of prayer nor suffer thy selfe to passe over the rest of thy accustomed good works 5 But that thou willingly performe what lyeth in thee according as thou art able and understandest to be fit not neglecting thy selfe wholly for the drynesse and trouble of mind which thou feelest 6 There are many that when it succeedeth not well with them presently they become either impatient or negligent 7 The way of man is not alwaies in his power but belongeth to God to give and to comfort when he will how much he will and whom he will as it shall please him and no more 8 Some unadvised persons have overthrown themselves for the greedy desire which they had of the grace of devotion 9 Attempting more then they were able to performe not weighing the measure of their weaknesse but following rather the desire of their heart then the judgement of reason 10 And because they presumed on greater matters then was pleasing to God therefore they quickly lost their grace 11 They were made needy and left in a dejected estate that built themselves nests in heaven to the end that being humbled and impoverished they may learn not to fly with their own wings but to live in hope under my feathers 12 They that are yet new and unacquainted in the way of our Lord unlesse they governe themselves by the counsaile of the wise may easily be deceaved and overthrowne 13 And if they will rather follow their own judgement then give credit to others that are experienced their end will be dangerous if they cannot be drawn from their own conceipt 14 Seldome those that are wise in their own opinion suffer themselves humbly to be governed by others 15 A litle knowledge with humility and a slender understanding is better then great treasures of learning with a vaine selfe liking 16 It is better for thee to have lesse then much of that whereof thou maist be proud 17 He doth not discreetly that wholly giveth himselfe over to mirth forgetting his former poverty and the chast fear of God which feareth to loose the grace which hee hath obtained 18 Neither is he vertuously wise that in time of adversity or any tribulation whatsoever yeeldeth to despairing thoughts and thinketh and imagineth of theÌ„ lesse confidently then he ought 19 He that will be over secure in time of peace shall be often found too dejected and fearfull in time of warre 20 If thou couldest alwaies continue humble lowly within thy selfe and temper and governe thy soul well thou shouldest not so soone fall into danger and offence 21 It is good counsell that when thou conceavest fervor of spirit thou shouldest think what will become of thee when that light shall leave thee 22 And when that doth happen remember the light may returne again which for thy instruction my glory I have with-drawn for a time 23 Such proofe is often more profitable then if thou shouldest alwaies enjoy prosperity according to thy desire 24 For worth is not to be weighed in a man by the number of visions and comforts which he hath or by his knowledge in Scriptures or by his being placed in high degrees but in that he is grounded in true humility and replenished with divine charity 25 If he alwaies purely and entirely seeke the honour of God if he esteeme himself nothing and with a sincere heart despise himselfe and rejoyce more to be humbled then honoured by others CHAP. VIII Of a meane conceipt of our selves in the sight of God SHall I speake unto my Lord sith I am dust and ashes If I esteeme better of my selfe behold thou standest against me and my iniquities beare true witnesse neither can I speake against it 2 But if I abase and esteeme nothing of my selfe and cast off all selfe-conceipt and as I am accompt my selfe to be dust 3 Thy grace will be favourable unto me and thy light will be neere unto my heart and all estimation how litle soever shall be swallowed up in the depth of my nothing and perish everlastingly 4 There thou shewest my selfe unto me what I am what I have been and whither I am come for alas I am nothing and I knew it not 5 And if I be left to my selfe behold I become nothing and a masse of infirmity but if thou suddainly looke upon me I am presently made strong and filled with new joy 6 And it is a great marvaile that I am so suddainly lifted up and so graciously imbraced by thee that of mine owne weight alwaies sinke downeward 7 Thy love is cause hereof freely preventing me and relieving me in many necessities preserving me also from grievous dangers and as I may truly say delivering me from innumerable evils 8 For surely by evill loving my selfe I lost my selfe and by seeking theâ— alone and sincerely loving thee I have found both my selfe and thee and for thy love have more deeply brought my selfe to nothing 9 For that thou O most sweet Iesuâ— dealest with me above all desert and above all that I dare hope or request 10 Blessed be thou my God for although I be unworthy of all good yet the noblenesse of thy bounty and thy infinite goodnesse never ceaseth to doe good even to the ungratefull and to them that be turned away farre from thee 11 Turne us unto thee O Lord that we may be
her Mothers Children why then doth she make such an involved speech of it My mothers children were angry with me True indeed though they cannot choose but be her brethren as being her Mothers children yet she doth not she dares not call them brethren for they will not acknowledge it they hate the name of brethren and make themselves professed enemies and therefore she is forced to leave out this loving and affectionate compellation of brethren and say in a kinde of strange phrase My mothers children were angry with me Yet should no man be discouraged from performing so worthy a duty for though there be a perâ—ecution that attends upoÌ„ peace-makers here yet is there a blessing promised them hereafter And seeing our blessed Lord and Master Christ Iesus when he was about to leave his Apostles and Disciples he left unto them this golden legacy Ioh. 14. 27. Peace I leave with you my peace I give unto you O how well would it become us his Priests to be men of peace to write for the peace of Ierusalem to pray for the peace of Ierusalem for they shall prosper that love it Psal. 122. 6. I will begin this exhortation unto peace and Charity from that common name which we all beare in that we are called Christians and doe all pretend to imitate Christ in our doctrine and practice There was a time indeed when this name was much taken notice of and great danger for any man to owne it when they had no other argument then nor any other cause of their cruell persecutions but to heare a man confesse Christianus sum I am a Christian But when these stormes were blown over and the Church began to be in peace this name of Christian was not so much regarded And yet methinks the very name of Christian is not altogether to be contemned for unlesse I am deceived whosoever hath but this appellation may challenge a brotherhood with me for in Scripture I find a brother and a Christian to be the very same so that whosoever is a Christian will necessarily be my brother 1. Cor. 7. 12. 13. If any brother hath a wife saith the Apostle that believeth not and she be pleased to dwell with him let him not put her away and if the woman hath an husband which believeth not if he be pleased to dwell with her let her not leave him But if the unbelieving depart let him depart a brother or a sister is not in bondage in such cases Where the Apostle plainly sheweth that a brother and a sister are such as are Christians and opposite only to Infidels and unbelievers Neither ought we to take that exhortation of Saint Paul 1. Pet. 2. 17. when he saith love the brotherhood in any narrower sense but that we should love every one that is a Christian not only because he agreeth with me in some opinions concerning religion but I ought to love him in that respect he is a Christian and professeth Christ crucified Neither ought we to love him thus with an ordinary kinde of love in wishing him well and doing him good for so we ought to love and doe good to all but there is a more strict tie of love that lies upon us Christians one to another and therefore although the Apostle wisheth us to doe good to all men yet especially to the houshold of faith Gal. 6 10. that is to such as be Christians Were this precept of the Apostle practised as it ought to be there would not be so much uncharitablenesse nor peradventure so much dissention amongst Christians Why can wee not consider one another as united in this blessed name of ChristiaÌ„ and set aside for a time those names of faction and divisionâ— why should wee not rejoyce awhile in those things wherein we agree and not alwaies be wrangling about those things wherein wee differ Of what moment those opinions are wherein we disagree I am not able to determine this I dare be bold to say that the points wherein we are friends are of farre greater consequence then those are wherein wee fall out And yet we so eagerly contend one with another and damne each other to the pit of hell as though our differences were very important our agreement not worth the talking of For my part I should be loath to exclude any visible Christian Church from all hopes of salvation and if I must needs offend I had rather give account to a mercifull God for too much mildnesse and Charity then too much fiercenesse and severity yet I hope to make it appeare that my opinion of Charity shall not exceed the bounds of verity A chiefe cause of the continuance of these dissentions is that men minde not so much the common cause of Christianity as their own particular engagements nor stndy how they may agree one with another as how to uphold the side they are on whereas would they set aside prejudice and partiality and cast an equall eye upon all the Churches they would not spye so many faults abroad and so few at home but would freely confesse there might bee greater concord amongst Christians then now there is No other unity doe I labour for at this time but that of charity that Christians would not for some differences in opinion pronounce such an heavy sentence upon one another as is that of Damnation If God should deale with us as we deale with one another if he should censure us all as we censure one another I know not who should be saved The Papist damning the Protestant and some among us the Papists and both of them any other that shall differ from them both But my hope is and my hearty prayer to God shall be that he would be more mercifull to all these then they are one to another When I consider with my selfe the manifold distractioÌ„s of Christians about Religion and the great fiercenes and violence used on all sides every one thinking his own opinion truest and consequently damning all others that differ from him I could not but call to minde that prophecy of our blessed Saviour Mat. 24. 12. concerning these latter and worser times Because iniquity shall abound saith he the love of many shall waxe cold for although charity of it selfe be of a hot and diffusive nature yet now clean contrary to the nature of it it is in most men grown cold it being the nature of cold to contract and combine to congeale and draw into a narrow roome thus is it now with our charity For whereas like the heat in our naturall bodies it should diffuse it selfe into all the members thereof unto the whole Christian Church yet I know not how it hath taken cold for men contract their love now into a very small compasse and narrow roome that is to no more then to such who jumpe with them in the same opinion about Religion leaving others who differ from them to nothing but death and damnation For not only in severall countries but
puâ—fed up with pride or rely too much upon worldly comforts 16 O how good a conscience would he keep that would not seek after transitory joy who would not entangle himselfe with the affaires of this world 17 O how great peace and quietnesse should he possesse that can cast away all vain-cares and think only upon heavenly things and would place all his hope and confidence in God! 18 No man is worthy of heavenly comfort unlesse he have diligently exercised himselfe in holy compunction 19 If thou desirest true contrition of heart enter into thy closet and shut out all worldly tumult as it is written examine your owne hearts upon your beâ—s and be still 20 In thy closet thou shalt find what abroad thou shalt often loose the more thou visitt thy closet the more thou wilt lik it the lesse thou comest thereunto the more thou wilt loath it 21 If in the beginning of thy amendment thou art content to remain in it and keepe it well it will afterwards be to thee a deare friend and a most pleasant comfort 22 In silence and in quietnesse a devout soule maketh her selfe perfect and learneth the secrets and mysteries of holy Scripture 23 There shee findeth flouds of teares wherein shee may every night wash and clense her selfe that she may be so much the more familiar with her Creator by how much the farther off she liveth from all worldly disquiet 24 Who so therefore withdrawâ—th himselfe from his acquaintance and friends God and his holy Angels will draw neere â—nto him 25 It is better to live privately and to have regard to himselfe then to neglect himselfe and his owne salvation though he could worke miracles 26 It is very commendable in a religious person seldome to goe abroad to be unwilling either to see or to be seen 27 Why art thoâ— willing and desirous to see that which is unlawfull for thee to have and injoy for the world passeth away and the lusts thereof 28 Our sensuall desires draw us to â—oave abroad but when the pleasure is past what carriest thou home with thee but a grieved conscience and distracted mind 29 A merry going out bringeth commonly a mournfull returne home and a joyfull evening makes many times a sad morning 30 So all carnall joy hath a pleasant entrance but in the end it bites like an Adder and stings like a Cockatrice 31 What canst thou see elsewhere which thou canst not see here behold here are heaven and earth and all the Elements for of these are all things created 32 What canst thou see any where that can long continue under the sun thou thâ—nkest perchance to satiate thy selfe and have thy fill but thou shalt never attaine it 33 Shoâ—ldst thou see all things present before thine eyes it were but a vaine and unprofitable sight lift up thine eyes to God in the highest and pray him to pardon all thy sinnes and infirmities 34 Leave vain things to the vain and doe thou give heed to that which God commandeth shut the doore upon thy selfe and call unto thee Iesus thy Beloved 35 Stay with him in thy closet for thou shalt not find so great peace any where else hadst thou not gone abroad and hearkned to idle rumours thou hadst lived more at hearts-ease 36 And seeing thou delightest sometimes to heare newes it is fit thou suffer for it some unquietnesse and trouble of mind CHAP. XXI Of compunction of Heart IF thou wilt any thing come forward keepe thy selfe alwaies in the feare of God and yeeld not too much scope to liberty 2 Keepe in awe all thy senses under the severe rod of Discipline and give not thy selfe over to foolish mirth 3 Give thy selfe to compunction of heart and thou shalt find much devotion therein compunction bringeth much good which dissolutenesse is wont quickly to destroy 4 A wonder it is that any man can heartily rejoyce in this life if he duly consider his banishment and throughly weight the many perils wherewith his soule is invironed 5 The levity of our minds and the litle care we have of our faults makes us insensible of the sorrowes of our soules 6 But we often vainly laugh when we should justly weepe the service and feare of God is the truest liberty and a good conscience a continuall feast 7 Happy is he that can avoid all cause of distraction and recollect himselfe to the union of holy compunction 8 Happy is he that can cast away from himselfe all that may defile his conscience or any way grieve or burthen it 9 Bestirre thy selfe like a man one custome overcomes another if thou canst forbeare medling in other mens matters they likewise shall not have to doe with thine 10 Busie not thy selfe in matters which appertaine to others neither doe thou meddle at all with the affaires of thy betters 11 Still have an eye to thy selfe first and be sure more especially to instruct thy selfe before all thy loving friends 12 If thou hast not the favour of men be not grieved at it but take this to heart because thou dost not carry thy selfe so warily and circumspectly as it becometh the servant of God and a devout religious man 13 It is better oftentimes and more secure that a man hath not consolations in this life especially such as are consonant to our carnall desires 14 But that we have not all or very seldome tasted divine consolation we may thank our selves because we seeke not after inward compunction as having not altogether forsaken outward vanities 15 Know that thou art unworthy of divine consolation and that thouhast deserved much tribulation 16 When a man hath perfect contrition then is the whole world grievous and loathsome unto him 17 A good man never wanteth matter of mourning for whether he consider his owne or his neighbours estate he knowes that none liveth here without great tribulation 18 And by how much a man looks narrowly into himselfe by so much he sees greater cause of lamentation 29 Our sinnes and wickednesses wherein we lye weltring doe minister unto us so much matter of sorrow and compunction that we can seldome apply our selves to heavenly contemplations 20 Didst thou but as often think with thy selfe how soone thou maist die as how long thou maist live there is no question but thou wouldst more earnestly labour thine amendment 21 If thou but let the paines that hereafter are to be endured sink deeply into thy heart I belieeve thou wouldst willingly undergoe any labour or sorrow in this world and not be afraid of the greatest severity 22 But because we doe not take these things to heart and as yet love those things only that delight us this makes us so dull and key-cold in Religion 23 If our body be amisse we may thank our selves for it it is often our decay and want of spirit which makes our miserable body so easily complain 24 Pray therefore unto the Lord with alll humility that he will vouchsafe to give thee the
Nothing so defileth and entangleth the heart of man as our impure love of these earthly creatures 35 If thou refuse comfort in outward things thou shalt more easily contemplate the things that are in heaven and often inwardly triumph for very joy CHAP. II. Of humble Sâ—bmission VVEigh not very much who is for thee or against thee let this be thy care and endeavour that God may be with thee in all thou takest in hand 2 Keep a good conscience and God will defend thee sufficiently for whom God will help no malice of men can hurt 3 If thou knowest how to suffer and hold thy peace without doubt thou shall have help from above he knoweth the season and manner how to deliveâ— thee 4 Therefore thou oughtst to resigne up thy selfe unto God for it belongs to him to help and deliver from all mischiefe 5 Oftentimes it much availeth us for the better keeping of humility that others know and reprehend our faults 6 When man humbleth himselfe for his owne offences then he easily pacifies others and quickly satisfies those that are offended with him 7 God protecteth and delivereth the humble he loveth and comforteth the humble to an humble man he humbleth himselfe 8 Vnto the humble man he giveth great grace and after he hath cast him down he raiseth him unto glory 9 Vnto the humble he revealeth his secrets and sweetly draweth and inviteth him unto himselfe 10 Though the humble person suffer much outward calamity yet is he at peace within himselfe because he relieth upon God and not upon the world 11 Think not that thou hast profited any thing at all unlesse thou hast learnt to esteem thy selfe inferiour unto all CHAP. III. Of a good and peaceable man BE first of all at peace with thy selfe then maist thou be better able to pacifie others a peaceable man doth more good then he that is learned 2 A passionate man turneth good into evill and easily beleeveth the worst A good quiet man turneth all things into good he that is peaceable is not suspicious of any 3 He that is discontent and troubled is tossed up and down with many suspitions he is neither quiet himselfe nor suffereth others to be quiet 4 He speaketh that oftentimes which he ought not to speake and omitteth that which were more expedient for him to doe 5 He considereth what others are bound to doe and neglecteth that which he is bound to himselfe 6 First therefore have a zealous care over thy selfe and then thou maist justly shew thy selfe zealous of thy neighbours good 7 Thou knowest well how to excuse and colour over thine own deeds and yet thou wilt not admit of other mens excuses 8 It were more equall and meet thou shouldst accuse thy selfe and excuse thy brother if thou wilt be borne withall bear thou with another 9 Behold how farre off thou are yet from true charity and humility which knoweth not how to be angry or displeased with any but with him that hath it 10 It is no great matter to converse with the good and those of a gentle disposition for that is naturally pleasing unto all and every one is willing to be at peace and love those that are of his humour 11 But to be at quiet with the stubborn and perverse with the disorderly and such as crosse us is a great grace a very commendable and manly fact 12 There be who are at peace with themselves and with others also and there be who can be quiet neither with themselves nor with others they are troublesome to others but to themselves most of all 13 And others there are who keep themselves in peace and labour to bring others into peace 14 Our greatest peace in this miserable life consisteth rather in humble enduring then in not feeling adversities 15 He shall injoy the greatest peace that can tell how to be most patient such a man is a conquerer of himselfe a Lord of the world a friend of Christs and an heire of heaven CHAP. IIII. Of a pure mind and upright intention VVIth two wings man is lifted up from earthly vanities to wit with simplicity and purity simplicity ought to be in our intentions purity in our affections 2 Simplicity fixeth the eyes of our soule upon God purity apprehendeth and tasteth his sweetnesse thou shalt not be hindred from any good action if thou be inwardly free from inordinate affections 3 If thou intend and seek nothing else but the good pleasure of God and the profit of thy neighbour thou shalt injoy internall liberty 4 If thy heart were sincere and upright then every creature would be unto thee a looking glasse of life and a Book of holy learning 5 There is not a creature so small and so vile that doth not represent the goodnesse of God 6 If in thine own heart thou art good and pure then wouldst thou be able to see and understand all things without any let or impediment a pure heart pierceth heaven and hell 7 Such as a man is inwardly so he judgeth outwardly if there be joy in the world the pure of heart possesseth it if tribulation and affliction an evill conscience feeles it 8 As iron put into the fire looseth his rust and burneth bright like fire so he that turnes truly unto God putteth off the flesh and is become a new man 9 When a man begineth to waxe cold then he is afraid of small paines and willingly receiveth comfort from without 10 But when he begins fully to overcome himselfe and to walk manfully in the waies of God then he esteems those things but easie which before seemed grievous unto him CHAP. V. Of the consideration of ones selfe VVE cannot trust to our selves very much for lack of grace and understanding there is but litle light in us and that which we have we quickly loose out of negligence 2 And many times we doe not perceive how blind we are within we often doe evill and excuse it worse 3 We are sometimes moved with passion and think it to be zeale we reprehend small things in others and passe over greater matters in our selves 4 We quickly feel and weigh what we suffer at the hands of others but we mind not what others suffer from us 5 He that doth well and rightly consider his own workes will find litle cause to judge hardly of another 6 The inward man preferreth the care of himselfe before all other cares and he thâ—t diligently looketh to himselfe doth seldome speake much of other 7 Thou shalt never be devout and right within unlesse thou be silent concerning other mens affaires and look especially to thy selfe 8 If thou attend wholly to God and to thy selfe thou wilt be litle moved with whatsoever thou seest abroad 9 Where art thou when thou art not with thy selfe and when thou hast run over all what art thou the better if thou neglect thy selfe 10 If thou desirest peace of mind and true concord thou must cast behind thee all other things
sorrowful and desolate 13 Thou doest therefore foolishly if thou doest trust or rejoyce in any other It is better for theâ— to have all the world against thee then Iesus offended with thee 14 Amongst all things therefore that be deare unto thee let Iesus alone be thy chiefest beloved 15 Love all for Iesus but Iesus for himselfe Iesus Châ—ist alone is especially to be beloved who alone is found to be good and faithfull above all friends 16 For him and in him let aswell friends as foes be deare unto thee and all these are to be prayed for that all may know and love him 17 Never desire to be singularly commended or beloved for that appertaineth only unto God who hath none like unto himselfe 17 Neither doe thou desire that the heart of any should be set on thee nor doe thou set thy heart on the love of any but let Iesus be in thee and in every vertuous and good man 18 Be pure and free within and intangle not thy heart with any creaâ—â—re Thou oughtest to be as it were naked and carry a pure heart to God if thou wilt consider and prove and see how sweet our Lord is 19 And truly unlesse thou be prevented and drawen by his grace thou shalt never attaine to that happinesse to forsake and cast away all that thou alone maist be united to him alone 20 For when the grace of God commeth unto a man then he is strong and nothing is hard unto him and when it goeth away he is poore and weake and as it were left unto the will of whomsoever will afflict him 21 In this thou oughtest not to be dejected nor despaire but to resigne thy selfe with all indifferency unto the wâ—ll of God and to â—eare all things that befall thee for the glory of Christ. 22 For after winter followeth summer after night commeth day after a tempest faire weather CHAP. IX Of the want of all comfort IT is 〈◊〉 great matter to despise humane 〈◊〉 when we have divine or to negâ—â—â— divine when we have humane 2 It 〈…〉 and very much to be able to wanâ— both humane and divine comfort 2 And for the honour and glory of God to be willing to endure desolation of heart and to seeke himselfe in nothing nor to regard his owne good actions 3 What great matter is it if thou be cheerfull and devout at the comming of heavenly grace This houre is wâ—â—shed for of all men 4 He rideth easily whom the grace of God carrieth And what marvaile if he feele not his burden who is borne up by the Almighty and led by the greatest guide 5 We are alwaies willing to have something for our comfort and a man doth hardly put off and forsake himself The holy Martyr S. Laurence overcame the world with his Prelate 6 Because he despised whatsoever seemed delightsome in the world and for the love of Christ he patiently suffered the high Priest of God S. Siâ—tus to be taken from him whom he most loved 7 He overcame therefore the love of man by the love of the Creator and he rather chose the divine pleasure then humane comfort 8 See thou also learne to forsake some necessary thing and a beloved friend for the love of God 9 Be not grieved when thou art forsaken by a friend knowing that we all at length must be separated one from another 10 A man must fight long and with a constant mind before he gâ—â— the victory and be able to place his whole heart in God 11 When a man trusteth in himselfe he easily slideth unto humane comforts 12 But a true lover of Christ and a diligent follower of vertue giveth not himselfe to such solace nor seeketh sensible sweetnesse but rather forcible exercises and to sustaine hard labours for Christ. 13 When therefore spirituall comfort is given thee from God receive it thankfully but know that it is the gift of God not any desert of thine 14 Be not puffed up joy not too much neither doe thou presume vainly but be rather the more humble for that grace and more wary and fearefull in all thy actions for that houre will passe away and temptation will succeed 15 When consolation is taken from thee despaire not presently but with humility and patience attend the heavenly visitation for God is able againe to give thee greater consolation 16 This is not new nor strange unto them that have experience in the way of God for in the great Saints and ancient Prophets there was oftentimes such kind of alteration 17 For which cause one when he had grace said I said in my prosperity I shall never be removed 18 But when this was gone from him he addeth what he found in himselfe saying Thou turnedst thy face from me and I became troubled 19 Yet doth he not despaire in the midst of these changes but more earnestly prayeth unto our Lord and saith Vnto thee O Lord I will cry and I will pray unto my God 20 Lastly he receiveth the fruit of his prayer and witnesseth that he was heard saying Our Lord hath heard me and taken pity on me our Lord is become my helper 21 But wherein Thou hast turned saith he my sorrow into joy and thou hast compassed me about with gladnesse 22 If great Saints have been so dealt with all we that are poore and weake ought not to despaire if we be sometimes fervent and sometimes cold 23 For the spirit commeth and goeth according to the good pleasure of his will for which cause blessed Iob saith Thou visitest him early in the morning and suddainly thou provest him 24 Whereupon therefore can I hope or wherein ought I to trust but in the great mercy of God alone and in the onely hope of heavenly grace 25 For whether I enjoy the presence of good men or devout brethren or faithfull friends or holy Bookes or learned treatises or sweet songs and himmes 26 All these helpe litle and have litle savour when grace forsaketh me and I remaine left in my owne poverty 27 At such a time there is no better remedy then patience and the resigning of my selfe unto the will of God 28 I never found any so religious and devout that hath not had sometimes a with drawing of grace or felt not a decrease of fervour 29 There was never Saint so highly rapt and illuminated who first or last was not tempted 30 For he is not worthy of the high contemplation of God who hath not been exercised with some tribulation for God's sake 31 For temptation going before is wont to be a signe of ensuing comfort And unto those that are proved by temptations heavenly comfort is promised He that shall overcome saith he I will give him to eate of the tree of life 32 But divine comfort is given that a man may be stronger to beare adversities There followeth also temptation lest we should waxe proud of that good 33 The Divell sleepeth not neither is our flesh as yet dead
me 10 Keepe me from all sinne and I wil neither feare death nor hell so as thou doest not for ever cast me from thee and blot me out of the Book of life what tribulation soever befall me shall not hurt me CHAP. XVIII That temporall miseries by the example of Christ are to be borne patiently SOnne I descended from Heaven for thy health I tooke upon me thy miseries my charity and not any necessity drawing me thereunto that thou mightest learne patience and not refuse to beare temporall miseries 2 For from the houre of my birth until my death on the Crosse I was not without suffering of griefe I suffered great want of temporall things I often heard many complaints against me 3 I beare patiently shame and reproaches for benefits I received ingratitude for miracles blasphemies for heavenly doctrine reprehensions 4 Lord for that thou wert patient in thy life time chiefly in fulfilling the commandement of thy Father 5 It is reason that I miserable sinner should have patience in all things according to thy will and for mine owne health beare the burthen of this corruptible life as long as thou wilt 6 For although this present life be burdensome yet notwithstanding it is now by thy grace made very easy and by thy example and footsteps of thy Saints more plaine and tolerable to the weake 7 Yea much more comfortable also then it was in times past in the old Law when the gate of heaven remained shut and the way also to heaven seemed darke when so few tooke care to seeke after thy Kingdome 8 Neither they also that then were just and ordained to be saved could enter into the heavenly glory before thy Passion the debt of thy sacred death was discharged 9 O how great thanks am I bound to give thee that thou hast vouchsafed to shew unto me and to all faithful soules a direct and sure way to thy everlasting Kingdome 10 For thy life is our way and by holy patience we goe unto thee that art our Crowne 11 If thou hadst not gone before us and taught us who would have taken care to follow 12 Alas how many would stay behind and remain farre off if they beheld not thy excellent examples 13 Behold we are yet cold although we have heard of so many of thy wouders and thy heavenly documents what would become of us if we had not so great light to follow thee CHAP. XIX Of suffering of injuries and who is proved to be truly patientâ— VVHat is it thou saiest Sonneâ— Cease to complaine considering my passion and that of my other Saints thou hast not yet made resistance unto blood 2 It is but litle thou sufferest in comparison of them that have suffered so much so strongly tempted so grievously afflicted so many waies tried exercised 3 Thou oughtest therefore to call to mind the heavy suffrings of others that thou maist the easier beare the litle adversities which thou sufferest 4 And if they seem not litle beware lest thy impatience be cause thereof Yet whether they be litle or great endeavour to beare all patiently 5 How much the better thou disposest thy selfe to suffering so much the more wisely thou dost and so much the more favour doest thou procure 6 Thou shalt more easily also endure it if thy mind be prepared and thy selfe accustomed thereunto 7 Doe not say I cannot suffer these things of such a one at the hands of such a person nor such things are not to be suffered by me 8 For hee hath done mee great wrong and upbraided me with those things which I never thought of but of another I will willingly suffer and as I shall see cause 9 Such a thought is foolish it considereth not the vertue of patience noâ— by whom it shall be crowned but rather weigheth the persons and the injuries offered 10 He is not truly patient that will not suffer but as much as he thinketh good and by whom he listeth 11 But he that is indeed patient mindeth not by whom he is exercised whether by his superiour or some of his equalls or by his inferior whether by a good and holy man or by a perverse and unworthy person 12 But indifferently from all creatures how much soever or how often soever any adversity happeneth unto him he taketh all thankfully as from the hands of God and esteemeth it a great gaine 13 For that nothing with God how little soever so it be suffered for God can be without reward 14 Be thou therefore alwaies prepared for to fight if thou wilt have the victory Without combat thou canst not attaine unto the Crowne of patience 15 If thou wilt not suffer thou refusest to be crowned but if thou desirest to be crowned fight manfully and endure patiently 16 Without labour there is no comming to rest nor without fight can the victory be obtained 17 Lord let that be made possible to me by thy grace which seemeth impossible to me by nature 18 Thou knowest that I can suffer litle and that I am quickly dismayed when a small adversity ariseth 19 Let all exercise of tribulation be made pleasing unto mee and be welcome for thy name for to suffer and to be troubled for thee is very profitable for my soule CHAP. XX. Of the acknowledging of our owne infirmity and of the miseries of this life I Will confesse against me my injustice I will confesse unto thee O Lord my infirmity Oftentimes it is a small matter that discomforteth and grieveth me 2 I purpose to resist with courage but when a small temptation cometh if bringeth me into very narrow straits 3 It is sometimes a very trifle from whence great temptations doe proceed And whilest I think my selfe somewhat safe when I least expect it I finde my selfe sometimes overcome with a small blast 4 Behold therefore Lord my humility my frailty every way known unto thee 5 Have mercy on me and deliver me out of the mire of my infirmities that I stick not fast therein let me not for ever remain dejected 6 This is that which oftentimes beareth me back and confoundeth me in thy sight for that I am so subiect to fall and weak in resisting of my passions 7 And though I doe not altogether consent yet their continuall assaults are troublesome and grievous unto me and it is tedious and a very irksome thing to live thus daily in strife 8 Hereby my infirmity is made known unto me for that wicked fancies doe alwaies much more easily enter in upon me then they can be cast out againe 9 O mighty God of Israel the zealous lover of faithfull soules let it please thee to consider the labour sorrow of thy servant and assist him in all whatsoever he undertaketh 10 Strengthen me with heavenly force lest my old man my miserable flesh not fully as yet subject to the spirit prevaile and get the upper hand against which I ought to fight as long as I breath in this miserable life
a poore and banished man in the land of mine enemies where there are daily warres and great mis-fortunes 13 Comfort my banishment asswage my sorrow for my whole desire sendeth up sighes unto thee For all â—s burdensome to me whatsoever this world offereth for my comfort 14 I desire familiarly to enjoy thee but I cannot attaine unto it I would gladly fixe my heart to the things of heaven but temporall cares and unmortiâ—ied passions weigh me downe 15 In â—ind I would be above all things but to my flesh I am inforced to be subject against my will 16 Thus unhappy man that I am I fight against my selfe and am become grievous to my selfe whilst my spirit seeketh after the things that are above and my flesh that which is below 17 O what doe I inwardly suffer when in mind I consider heavenly things and presently in my praiers a multitude of fleshly fantasies present themselves before me 18 My God be not farre from me depart not in thy wrath from thy servant Cast forth thy lightning and disperse them send out thy darts and breake all the fantasies of my enemy 19 Gather my senses together unto thee make me forget the things of this world grant me grace to cast away speedily the appearance of vices 20 Succour me O everlasting truth that no vanity may move me Come heavenly sweetnesse and let all impurity fly from thy face 21 Paâ—don me also and mercifully forgive me as often as I think upon any thing else besides thee in prayer 22 I truly confesse that I am wont to be subject to many distractions for oftentâ—mes I am not there where I doe corporally stand or sit but rather whither my thoughts doe carry me 23 Where my thoughts are there am Iâ— there is oftentimes my thought where my affection is that quickly occurreth unto me which is naturally delightsome and by custome pleasing 24 And for this cause thou thaâ— art truth it selfe hast plainly said Where thy treasure is there is also thy heart 25 If I love heaven I willingly think of heavenly things If I love the world I rejoyce at the felicity of the world and grieve for the adversity thereof 26 If I love the flesh I imagine oftentimes those things that are pleasing to the flesh If I love the spirit I delight to think of spirituall things 27 For whatsoever I love thereof doe I willingly speake and heare and carry home with me the formes and representations thereof 28 O blessed is that man that for thee O Lord forsaketh all creatures that violently resisteth nature and out of the fervour of spirit crucifieth the concupiscences of the flesh 29 That with a cleare conscience he may offer sincere praiers unto thee and be worthy of the coâ—pany of the angelicall Quires all earthly things outwardly and â—nwardly being excluded CHAP. XLIX Of the desire of everlasting life and how great rewards are promised to those that fight valiantly SOnne when thou perceivest the desire of everlasting blisse to be given thee from above and desirest to depart out of the Tabernacle of this body that thou maist without shadow of any enterchange behold my light open thy heart and receive this holy inspiration with thy whole desire 2 Give great thankes to the heavenly goodnesse that dealeth with thee so favourably visiteth thee mercifully stirreth thee up fervently holdeth thee up powerfully lest through thine own weight thou fall downe to the vanitieâ— of the earth 3 Neither doest thou obtaine this by thine owne thought or endeavour but by the only favour of heavenly grace and divine bounty 4 That thou maist profit in vertue and obtaine greater humility and prepare thy selfe to future battailes and endeavour to cleave unto me with the whole affection of thy heart and serve me with a servent desire 5 Sonne fire often burneth but flame ascendeth not up without smoke so likewise the desires of some men are earnestly carried to heavenly things and yet they are not free from temptation of carnall affection 6 And therefore it is not altogether purely for the honour of God that which they so earnestly request of him 7 Such is also oftentimes thy desire which with such importunity thou presentest unto me 8 For that is not pure and perfect which is infected and desiled with the love of thine owne proper commodity and interest 9 Aske not that which is delightsome and profitable to thee but that which is gratefull to me and appetaineth to my honour 10 For if thou judgest aright thou oughtest to preferre and follow my appointment rather then thine owne desire or any thing that can be desired 11 I know thy desire and have heard thy often groanes Now thou wouldest be in the freedome of the glory of the Sonnes of God now doth the everlasting habitation and the heavenly Country full of joy delight thee 12 But this houre is not yet come it is yet another time to wit a time of warre a time of labour and triall 13 Thou desirest to be filled with the chiefest good but thou canst not attaine it for the present I am he saith our Lord expect untill the Kingdome of God doth come 14 Thou art yet to be tried upon earth and to be exercised in many things Comfort shall be sometimes given thee but abundant fulnesse thereof shall not be granted to thee 15 Take courage therefore and be valiant as well in doing as in suffering things contrary to nature Thou oughtest to put on a new man and to be changed into another man 16 Thou must oftentimes doe that which thou wouldest not and leave undone that which thou wouldest that which is pleasing to others shall goe well forwards that which thou wishest shall not speed 17 That which others say shall be heard what thou saist shall be nothing regarded Others shall aske and shall receive thou shalt aske and not obtaine 18 Others shall be great in thc praises of men but of thee there shall be no speech to others this or that shall be committed but thou shalt be accompted sit for nothing 19 At this nature will sometimes repine and it is much if thou endurest it with silence 20 In these and such like a faithfull servant of our Lord is wont to be tried how he can deny and overcome himselfe in all things 21 There is scarce any thing wherein thou hast such need to mortifie thy selfe as in seeing and suffering those things that â—are contrary to thy will 22 Especially when that is commanded which seemeth unto thee inconvenient or to little purpose 23 And for that thou being placed under authoritie darest nor resist higher power therefore it seemeth hard unto thee to walke at the beck of another and to leave wholly thine own opinion 24 But consider Sonne the fruit of these labours the end neare at hand and the reward above all measure and thou shalt receive no griefe there by but great comfort of thy patience 25 For in regard of that litle of