downe prostrate before the feete of thy sauionr and with a pēsiue hart say as followeth My sinnes O Lorde are in number about the sands of the Sea I haue spotted my selfe with the filth of euery vice and my offences are so multiplied that I deserue not nor dare not to beholde the Heauens because I haue prouoked thy wrath and haue done euill in thy sight The Argument In the second consideration he should consider that by sinne is lost the grace comfort of the holy Ghost the mutuall amitie the fauour fatherly protection of God the participation of all the good things don in the vniuersall Church and the benefit◠of Christes passion CHAP. IIII. VVEigh farther of howe great treasures vice doth robbe and spoyle thée which is one of the considerations that shoulde most affright a Christian whatsoeuer hee bee examining throughly on the one side what is lost by sinne and on the other side with what facility carelesse men offend daylie For by sinne is lost the grace of the holy Ghost which is the most precious gift that God can bestowe vppon his best beloued in this life It robbeth vs also of the fauour of God which alwayes accompanieth his grace And if it be a great griefe to léese the fauour of an earthly Prince howe muche greater should the griefe be to incurre the displeasure of him that is king of heauen and earth It bereaueth vs of the vertuous flowing from aboue of the giftes of the holy Ghost wherewith the soule is made bright and pure in the sight of God and is armed and animated against the force and violence of the enemie It robbeth the soule of his interest in heauen which procéedeth from the same grace sith that by grace glory is giuen as the Apostle saith Also of the spirit of adoption which maketh vs the sonnes of God and instéed thereof insecteth vs with the furie of rebellion which causeth vs to impugne his holy pleasure whereby wée léese the entertainment due vnto sonnes and the fatherly prouidence which God taketh of those whome hée receiueth for his children which is one of the greatest treasures that in this life may bee enioyed Wherein the Prophet reioyced not without good cause when hée saide I am right glad O Lorde because I sée my selfe shrowded vnder the shadowe of thy winges which is vnder the protection and fatherly prouidence that he hath of his chosen people By sinne is lost the peace the quiet and comfort of a guiltlesse conscience the swéetenesse and solace of the holie Ghost the fruite and merite of the vertuous actions that thou haste wrought all thy life before euen vntill that houre the participation of all those treasures which the Church holdeth in her custodie Finally by sinne is lost the participation and fruition of the merites which flowe from Christes passion who is our head because a sinner is not incorporated in his bodie as a liuely member through grace and charitie All this is lost by one mortall offence and that which is gained thereby is to be adiudged to eternall tormentes and for that time to be cancelled out of the booke of life and in steade of the sonne of God to bee made the vassall and bondslaue of Sathan and in steade of the temple and seate of the moste blessed Trinitie to become the denne of théeues the neast of Serpents the receipt and harbour of venemous Bafiliskes This is the guerdon conuenient for sinne whereby thou maiest learne whether it bee not good reason to tremble and quake beholding with howe little scruple of conscience with what facilitie and confidence so many carelesse men offende without measure And farther what reason it were that thou bedeawest thy chéekes with bloudie teares if not for the loue of God yet at least for thine owne distresse which hast loste suche inestimable riches for so small a myte as is the delight and taste of one trespasse If Esau wayled and wept so bitterly because he had lost his inheritance in lewe of the like taste with what cryes and complaintes shouldest thou fill heauen and earth for the losse of so woorthie of patrimonie that with gréefe and sorrowes sharpe thou maiest recouer the thing thou hast lost by dalliance and delights The Argument In the third consideration hee should thinke vpon Gods benefites bestowed vpon man that he might be abashed therat and be ashamed of himselfe And therefore enioyne himselfe to some sharpe affliction for that hee hath bene a creature so vngratefull and vnkinde CHAP. V. FOr the better replication of this ponder in thy minde the infinit number of Gods benefites For how much the more a man wayeth how bountifull God hath bene towardes him so much the more he shall be confounded in himselfe séeing how wicked he hath shewed himselfe to God In this sort the Prophets did often perswade the people of God to repentance And in this manner Nathan the Prophet beganne with Dauid when ere he reprooued him of adultery laide before him the fauoure and regall dignitie wherevnto God had promoted him and what else he had reserued for him In like sort a man should chiefly regard these ten kindes of benefites that ensue that is the benefite of creation of conseruation of redemption of baptisme of calling of diuine inspiration of preseruation from euill of the Sarraments of peculiar grace and priuate prerogatiues which hée hath receiued of his Sauiour and lastly of the glorie which hée expecteth héereafter to haue And particularly let him fixe himselfe vppon the benefite of vocation whiche is this that God hath looked so long for his conuersion and hath suffered and supported his sundrie sortes of sinne with such excéeding patience breathing vpon him eftsoones godly motions and diuine inspirations in the very midst of his naughtie life thereby to withdrawe him from his iniquities and to stirre him to repentance Weighing then with equall balance this wonderfull liberalitie and benignitie of our Sauiour on the one side and on the other our stubbornnesse ingratitude rebellion and abhominations committed against so mercifull bounteous a benefactor who will not be abashed and appalled thereat who will not rent his cloathes whose eyes will not yéelde streames of teares whose heart and intrailes will not bee consumed in sighes who wil not call all creatures to reuenge and to wrecke their wrath vpon a caitiffe so ingratefull and rebellious The Argument In the fourth consideration a Christian should consider the contempt and iniury he hath done to God by his offences esteeming more and preferring earthly drosse before his diuine Maiestie CHAP. VI. COnsider farther the despight and great wrong that is done vnto God through sinne for that so oft as we offend the iudgement and practise thereof doth still passe into our hearts weakeneth the vnderstanding whereby we banish all feare of transgression nor we féele not the weight of sinne whiche if it were set diametrically in the one part before the interest of sin which is some
thou shalt die after which death because thou art a Christiā be sure thou shalt giue vp a reckoning of thy life forepassed Of this the faith which we professe wil not permit vs to doubt that other dayly experience doth confirme assuredly so that none can shunne or escape the one nor the other Be he Pope Prince or Emperour there shall come a time wherein eyther hee shall sée bright day continually or vgly night incessantly That time shall come without al doubt yet thou knowest not when whether it will be to day or to morrow In what time thou now readest this writing whole and sounde in all thy sences and members measuring the vayes of thy life according to thy businesse and delights shalt sée thy selfe in a bedde with a candle in thy hand attending the dint of death and sentence pronounced against humaine kinde which by no manner suite may bee released There shall be presented vnto thée the depriuation of all earthly delights the insupportable payne and passion of death the ende and last Pageant of thy life the horrour of thy graue the cursed condition of thy body allotted to be deuoured of woormes But the wretched estate of the soule will bee much more gréeuous vnto thée which béeing yet in the body knoweth not after an houre or two where his habitation shall be assigned Then in a moment thou shalt sée thy selfe sette before the tribunall seate of God almightie blaming and accusing vnto him thine owne naughtie life There thou shalt clearely discerne she foule enormious crimes whereof thou art guiltie and shall curse ten thousand times the day in which thou diddest transgresse the commaundements of God and the delight which stirred thée thereunto Then shalt thou meruaile at thy selfe how for so brickle pleasures as are those which thou imbrasedst diddest hazard thy selfe to endure perpetuall torments whereof thou now beginnest to haue a taste and smack for that the ioyes béeing now quite vanished away and the doome due vnto thée approaching neare that slender substance which was in them loosing his essence and beeing seemeth that it was nothing at all But the remorse and sting wherwith they presently prick and presse thy conscience appeareth to bée of inestimable force and efficacie Perceiuing therefore how for such transitorie trifles thou art at poynt to be bereaued of so incomparable felicitie béeing abashed thereat considerest thine owne distresse for that thou hauing runne out thy race there resteth no longer continuance of life nor leysure of repentance neither thy worldly fréendes neither the Idols to whom thou hast auowed the whole trauaile and terme of thy life can assist or succour thée at all yea those things which earst thou louedst most tenderly will be héere vnto thee the cause of grétest gréefe Tell me I pray thée when thou shalt sée thy selfe plunged in this perplexitie whither wilt thou turne what wilt thou doo to whom wilt thou crye To go backe it is impossible so goe forwarde intollerable to remaine as thou art thou mayest not what then wilt thou doo Then sayth God by the mouth of the Prophet the Sun shall not bee séene of the vngodly in the midday and I will bring darknesse vppon them in the bright day and I will conuert their pleasaunt sports to bitter plaints their dauncing and dallying to dolour and deadly dread Oh what wordes bee these Ezech. 32 The Sunne shall go downe in the midday because she huge heape of sinne then ouerwhelming the wicked which séeing by the iust iudgement of God the course of their life and time of repentance to b◠abridged many of them are so appalled with feare that they fall to flat dispayre of the mildenesse and mercy of GOD. And abyding yet in the middest of the day for so much as is remaynent of their mortall life which is the very time to merit or not to merit it séemeth vnto them that they haue no longer respect to doo good or euill but are vtterly excluded of both verily the passion of feare is of great force and vehemencie which maketh things that bee farre from vs séeme to bee present and of a trifle rayseth a tragedie If the consideration of this causeth them sometime to quake a little what then shall the feare of their vndoubted and iust ieopardie cause them to doo They béeing yet in this life beginne to suffer sensibly the gréefe and reproach of the Reprobate and in one very moment are both quick and dead For bewayling the present pleasures which they must forsake beginne to séele the future miserie which so much they feare They holde them most happie which tarry here behinde whereby they are prouoked to enuie which greatly augmenteth their griese To those the Sunne goeth downe at noone dayes for so much as which way soeuer they caste theyr eyes they sée themselues debarred on euery side from accesse to Heauen and that no beame or sparke of comfort appeareth vnto them for if they regarde the bountie of God they sée how sore they haue offended him if they behold his iustice they see him in a manner rigorously to rush vppon them for that hitherto the time and tide hath béene at their becke but now Gods turne is at hande If they looke backe to their life forepassed they sée what accusations groweth therof If to the time present they sée themselues to pecke ouer the pearch by péecemeale If they looke forwarde a little further they beholde the Iudge attending for their accounts Alasse what shall the séely wretches doo béeing atteinted with so many trespasses and affrighted with such furious feares at once For this cause the Prophet said that the bright day shall be turned into darkenesse thereby to giue vs notice that those things whereof the wicked are wont to take their greatest consolation should then be vnto them the cheefest cause of their discomfort It is a good thing I graunt for a man to sée his sonnes his friendes his house his worldly workes and all that he loueth besides but then this chearefull light shall bee altogither conuerted to profound darknesse for that all these things shall heape more heauinesse and shall become most bitter persecuters of their affectioned louers For as by nature and common custome we take no small delight in the present possession of those thinges which we loue and like well So likewise the losse thereof bringeth excessiue gréefe Therefore let the swéete children depart out of their fathers sight when hée lyeth at poynt of death and lette the mother also absent her selfe that shee may not giue and receiue by her presence so many sharpe assaults of sorrowe And his departure béeing into so far countries his iourney through so straunge and vnknowne waies the pinching smart which hee abideth will not permit him to haue confidence in any thing neyther will graunt him to take his leaue of his fréends If thou standest now vppon the same termes I spake of thou shalt well perceiue I haue not swarued from the truth
sicke man suffereth in one night specially if hée be seased with some sharp infirmitie Mark I pray thée how oft he turneth walloweth in his very bed how he can take no kinde of rest how the night seemeth so long vnto him that he reckoneth euery houre of the clocke each houre séemeth a day long He looketh longeth for the light which nought or little auaileth to moderat his misery Then if this sorrow bee so great and insupportable what shall the paine be of that eternall night which hath no morning nor dawne of day O profounde darkenesse O night perpetuall O night accursed by Gods owne mouth the light whiche was wont to lift vp it selfe in the morning is not séene in thée Consider nowe what a torment it is to liue alwayes in suche a night as this is not couched in a softe bedde as a sicke man is but rather in a fornace flaming with fires What shoulders can be able to abide these so feruent heates what heart will not melt with sorrow to continue in such torment for euer Which of you saith God by the Prophet can sustaine that consuming fire and liue in that excessiue heate O dreadful threats if that a man cannot endure possibly to put the toppe of his finger vppon one glowing coale whilest a Pater noster is saide howe shall he abide to broyle both bodie and soule in these eternall flames which are so fierce and vehement that comparing them to those which here we sée in this world séeme of no more force then fire paynted on the walles Is there any iudgement in the earth haue men vnderstanding doo they perceiue the weight of these wordes and threates thinke they that those are deuices faigned by Poets or doo they perswade themselues that it toucheth some others and perteineth not to them Wherein they are much deceiued and sottishly féede their foolish fancie sith it is verified by the eternall trueth saying Heauen and earth shall decaie but my word shall neuer want his force and vigour The Argument We haue great cause to be the seruants and affectionate friends of God as well for the gifts of nature bestowed vpon vs and the infusion of grace which we haue alreadie and hereafter hope to receiue as also for dread of his wrath Among which benefits and graces granted vnto vs the Sacraments are most precious Hauing then receiued such and so many benefits of him we ought not to shewe our selues ingratefull that all his troubles and trauels suffered here on earth may be for our behoofe and profit CHAP. VI. SOme man peraduenture will maruel why I should accumulate so many reasons to iustifie this that I haue begunne and to confirme an approued veritie and a thing so commendable as is that atchiuing of vertue but this discourse is not addressed to that ende nor to extenuate any doubt that may be in a matter so manifest But for that monstrous is the malice of our corrupt minde and the conflicts very cruell which striue to destroy the soueraintie of renowmed vertue it is requisite that her bulwarkes be of sufficient strength to beare the brunt and shocke of all assaultes But for my better proofe and progresse of this matter it shall not be amisse to adioyne here vnto howe much we are bounde to the seruice of God not onely for hope of the hire which we expect at his handes nor for dread of his iustice but chéefely for those good things which by him we presently enioy For if all creatures imbrace their benefactours and bruite beastes acknowledge them by whome they haue bene reléeued yea if the lawe of thankesgiuing be of such force that the fierce Tygres Lions and Serpentes yéelde to her segnioritie and liue vnder her lore howe shall I escape to be accounted more cruell then those beastes if I should not loue and magnifie him who hath bene so beneficiall vnto me What is there either in me or without me whith is not issued from the bountie of God Thou Lorde hast created my soule to thine owne image and similitude thou hast disposed the organes of my bodie and beautified it with such feature and varietie of members and sences that regarding well the curious cunning of the worke appeareth that it can be wrought by no other artificier then thy selfe Thou haste and doest ordaine daily all thinges necessarie for the preseruation of this thy woorke thy prouidence is my guide thy hand doth sustaine me thy creatures serue me thy medicines heale me thy foode doth nourish me thy Angels guard and kéepe mée thy wisedome instructeth mée thy mercy prouideth for mée and thy patience supporteth mee Finally all that I haue are thy goods thy grace and thy mercy For who giueth mee my essence to be that I am but thou that art the Fountaine of all essence and béeing By whose benefite doo I liue if not by thine which giuest light and life to all them that breath who giueth me iudgement and vnderstanding if not thou which art the lampe of eternall light Therefore what should a man doo for such a one who hath him so much his benefactour Why should he not serue him with all his forces both of bodie and minde who hath made him all and doth preserue him all both bodie and soule and by whose direction he is gouerned altogither Wherfore if we be so much bounde vnto him for his benefites giuen vs by nature how can we gratifie him sufficiently for those his giftes of grace How canst thou counteruayle his curtesie who amongest so sundry sorts of people and nations of Infidels hath singled thée out for himselfe hath created thée a Christian and hath washed thée with the water that distilled from his precious side and there hath adorned thée for his sonne and hath inuested thée with all habites and ornamentes that are requisite for that dignitie But after when againe thou were fallen from this preheminence who can declare how patiently hée did holde thée vp when thou sinnedst with what eyes did he beholde thee when thou madest no reckoning of him how carefully did hée guard thée when thou diddest procrastinate thy returne vnto him with how many holy instincts did he stirre thée with how many harolds did he sommon thée to come that at the last forsaking thy former follies shouldest bowe to his holy will and bent But what shall I say of that supernall grace of that most excellent benifite of our redemption O Lorde the heauens blesse and extoll thée and the Angelles sing prayses of thy merueilous workes What néede haddest thou of our auaile or how could our annoy bee preiudiciall vnto thée If I offende sayth Iob what hurt is it vnto him and if thine iniquities abounde what harme taketh hee thereby and if thou doo well what is he she better therefore But what commoditie what reward can he reape at thy hands who is God omnipotent so rich and so frée and far from all wracke and woe that GOD I say whose
which yéeldeth his fruite in due and conuenient time whiche neuer léeseth his verdure and all that hée doeth shall succéed prosperously My brother these are the voyces the drums and trumpets wherewith Gods eternall wisedome calleth sinners vnto him if thou wilt harken to this harmenie and not lysten to the Syren songes of the subtil Serpent turne thy selfe vnto to God and amende thy life spéedily to the which ende this Treatise is addressed But how this is to be performed shal be shewed in the next volume The ende of the Conuersion of a Sinner Sundrie profitable Contemplations gathered by the saide Author The Argument A Christian man which couetteth to come vnto God must make his enterance through the gate of compunction generally confessing all his offences Wherevnto it shall auaile him much to exercise himselfe euery day in certaine Prayers and godlie Meditations and in the considerations of death and of Gods seuere iudgement CHAP. I. HE therefore that is departed out of Egypt and beginneth to march towards the land of promise hee that like vnto the loste sonne reremembreth himselfe and openeth his eyes to behold the beames of glittering vertue and knoweth the perplexitie wherein hée is plunged and the fraude of this fraile life and desireth to returne to the plenteous repastes of his fathers house his first passage must be through the straights of penance where it behoueth him ruthfully to record in his minde the former ryots and excesses and firmely to purpose the amendment of them And for that this discussion and examination ought to bee as the Prophet sayth with affliction and remorce of conscience it is the part of the penitent at that time to vse al such praiers ronsiderations as by any meanes may stir him to teares and dolour To the which auaileth much the consideration of death of Gods finall iudgement of the paines of hell and of the passion of Christ suffered for the satisfaction of our sinnes Sith it is apparant that if there had bin no defects on our side there had héene no cause of his gréeuous annoy These and such like considerations may mooue vs to sorrow and to the detestation of sin which is the chéefest part of repentance In the which we should exercise our selues not onely the space of fiue or sixe dayes but the greatest part of our life Wherein many penitents are deceiued who béeing most diligent in scouring their conscience and scanning their faultes are quite carelesse in bewayling of them whereas both the one and the other are most necessarie but chéefly the last And I thinke verily that the cause why so many faynte in the following of vertue and in long time cannot attaine to perfection and sometime to surcease their iourney begunne is because they haue not layde a sure foundation nor haue not planted the rootes déepe inough in this exercise For this béeing the piller of all the building when the foundation it selfe is féeble the worke cannot bee firme which is erected vppon it To the which ende it is very necessarie to assigne certaine dayes many or sewe as the holy ghost shall direct vs wherein as I haue sayde before we may exercise our selues in all such prayers and meditations as maye induce vs to this sorrowe For the plainer declaration of this doctrine I minde to impart vnto you a fewe of the foresaid considerations which may serue not onely to stirre vs to be sory for our sinnes and to the hatred thereof but also to allure vs to the loue of vertue and to the feare of God and to the contempt of the world for al this is néedfull to nouices and beginners The Argument He that list to encline his heart to the hatred of sinne and to the dread of God must conuey himselfe into some couert corner and must bend and imploy his minde to the contemplation of the heauenly blisse and the iniquities which abound here in earth CHAP. II. VVHosoeuer then will haue his heart setled hereupon and wil fasten this firmly in his mind must euery day once or twise take a time most quiet conuenient for that purpose and sequestring himselfe into a secret place al other earthly thoughts and vain imaginations being laid apart arming himselfe first with the shield of faith humbly crauing the grace of the holy spirit to assist him in this behalfe assuming to himselfe the minde of that deuout Publican which durst not to lift vp his eyes towards Heauen for the confusion and horrour of his offences Let him repeate some generall confession or else the Psalme Miserere mei deus with so great deuotion as he can deuise and suddenly let him apply his minde to the considerations following that by this meanes he may attain the feare of God through the sorrow the dread and detestation of sinne The Argument In the first cōsideration a christian ought to runne ouer the multitude of the mortal offences that he hath committed CHAP. III. THe first sting that may stirre vs to the woe and hatred of our iniquities is to consider the infinit number of them and to fixe them before our eyes as a terrible troupe of armed Souldiers that the soule may be appalled with so hidcous a spectacle Runne ouer therefore bréefely all the commaundements of God through all the capitall sinnes through all the sences the powers and parts as well of thy body as of thy soule and thou shalt perceiue that there is scarce any commandement which thou hast not transgressed nor any sinne wherein thou haste not sunke nor any sence externall or internall which thou haste not abused nor any benefite which thou haste imployed to that ende for which it was giuen thée But as the Prophet sayth God hath giuen thée his golde and siluer and therewith thou haste serued Baal Looke therefore into thy selfe throughly and viewe the race of thy life passed and thou shalt sée a huge webbe fraught full of deceit of trecherie of pride of lyes of slouth of enuie of couetousnesse of hatred of entisements of blasphemie of malice and of a thousand other manners of mischiefes and thou shalt finde that like a brutish beast in all and euery of these thou haste followed and fulfilled thy sensuall delights without regarde of the lawe of iustice or reason and thou shalt perceiue that thou hast liued as a Gentile or Pagan altogither which neuer knewe God or as though thou so beleeuest that there were no God no death no iudgement no paine no blisse nor any thing else to be thought but euen to be borne and to dye He then that hath liued this many yeares so disorderly shall it not be reason that he imploy the fewe dayes that are remayning of his life in bewayling his former yeares fondly consumed and to féele sensibly the ruine and decay of the powers of his soule and the time that hee might hane gayned in this while which hee shall not get hereafter For time lost can neuer be recouered Throw therefore thy selfe