Lux i.e. after Darkness comes Light and of the other side Venite ad me omnes qui laboratis onerati estis ego reficiam vos i. e. Come unto me all that labour and are heavy laden and I will refresh you As soon as I had read these two Motto's I was mightily comforted and the good man asked me my Name and my Sir-name then I said within my self I am gravelled again for if this person should serve me as the other did I shall be sure to be stopt so that I was almost resolved to change my Name but thinking better of it I judged it fit to proceed with sincerity therefore I answered him that my Name was Mr. Pasquino a Roman he seemed to be extreamly pleased with that answer only adding that I needed only to have named my self Pasquino because the name of Roman was not well liked here after that he told me that none was permitted to enter into that place of the side that he guarded till they first confessed what he himself had been forc't to confess and all the rest of his company I told him then that I desired to be informed what was needful for me to confess and he replied tell me friend which of the two dost thou believe to be Head of the Church Christ or the Pope M. This was a hard Question for my part I should have answered that they were both Heads P. That would have been the answer of a foolish ignorant and wicked Christian I wonder thou art not yet instructed better in this point What! thou believest the Church hath two Heads as the Emperor's Eagle The Eagle of two Heads was the Invention of a German Poet and the Church with two Heads was the Invention of the Roman Priests M. I cannot Reason so finely I go on in a plainer way but what didst thou answer him then P. I confess that I believed the Church had only one Head which was Christ nor would I ever believe there was any other Head because I would not run into such a diabolical Heresie for the having so many Heads and so many Bodies are proper to Cerberus's Briareus's and Devils and not to coelestial creatures and therefore it was necessary to believe as I believed that the Church hath one only Head and one only Spouse and that is Christ our Lord and that all others are Members of the Church one of which is the Pope As soon as he heard this he rose from his seat and came to embrace me with great tenderness saying Truly thy words shew thee to be that pleasant Pasquin who I have so often heard spoken of with infinite praise thou art heartily welcom and when he had said so he hugged me several times and called me his Brother in Christ M. This title is not so common in the Roman Vatican for the Popes give it to none but Cardinals P. It would be better for the Cardinals if the Pope would leave off calling them Brethren seeing he doth not a little flatten their reputation in this world besides that he makes them perverse and wicked in the other M. How can this be thou art either too obscure or I am too dull to comprehend thee P. They that come nearest the Fire are the hottest and they that come nearest to Clay and Dirt are the most defiled this is a general Rule in Philosophy therefore it must needs follow that those who draw nearest to evil are the most wicked Now every one knows that the Popes are the fountains of all those evils which the Church hath suffered therefore the Popes calling the Cardinals Brethren they cannot avoid the reproach of having their part in every mischief Moreover the Popes are like Pitch which defiles them most that roul in it M. What can then be said of Kings which the Pope calls his Sons P. This also is a great Cheat the Popes believe they have given half the Heavens and half the Earth to Kings by giving them the title of Sons and Kings think they receive the other half of the Earth and the rest of Heaven every time they call the Pope their Father yet that title serves to no purpose but to lowre and vilifie Kings in the presence of the Popes and to render the Pope too proud and high in the presence of Kings all the rest of it is nothing but smoke and tell me the truth my dear Marforio whether doth the Natural and Divine Law teach a man to love his Children or his Nephews best without doubt his Children but this Rule is not observed with the Popes for they rob all the Treasure of the Church and apply to their own occasions and when they die give it all to their Nephews without leaving any thing to their Sons Vrban the 8th Innocent the 10th and Alexander the 7th are great instances of this who left more than seven millions of Pistols to their Nephews and to the poor Emperor oppressed with the Turk nothing at all but the title of Son I would curse him a hundred times a day to the Devil M. I beseech you do not fall into passion but go on with the discourse how did the Caresses end between you and that honest man P. He perceiving me to be alone for the French-man was gone back to his own affairs promised me to be my faithful Companion and conduct me to see all those places First then he carried me up a very high Ladder on the top of which was a Terrace that looked towards Heaven and when we were there he bid me look up and as I looked I thought I saw the Mother of our Lord shining with great glory but I did not see any Pearls or Jewels or Gold or Silver which amazing me very much and my new friend perceiving it asked me what was the cause of it whereupon I answered him that having several times seen the Madona of Loretto loaded with Jewels and Gold of inestimable value I wondred how she was now deprived of those rich gifts to which he instantly replied that that Lady of Loretta was not the Mother of our Lord but the Mother of the Priests for she not only gives them money enough to buy them food but also to feed their prodigality neither are we to believe there is any correspondence betwixt the Mother of Christ in Heaven and that Mother of the Priests on Earth and possibly I replied the faithful who give such vast Offerings and Alms believe they put them all into the hands of the Mother of our Lord and shall draw from her the remuneration of graces Would to God it were so said he immediately but the mischief is that the poor Fideles impoverish themselves to enrich the Priests so that being shamm'd into that false belief they thereby commonly lose both their Moneys and Rewards I have been fifteen times at Loretto to impetrate some blessings which my Curate told me I should undoubtedly obtain and every time I carried some Gift I still
therefore I resolved to begin on one side of the room and walk on to the other so drawing nearer to them my venerable friend following me I began to look on the faces of those holy Fathers one by one when one of them instantly seeing me pass near him took out a pair of Spectacles and looked earnestly at me for a while then taking them off his Nose he put them into their case and took out another smaller pair and looked at me with those as long as he had done with the other which I did not much wonder at because I believed he was short-sighted for he had two pair of Spectacles one to look at a distance and the other near hand and he had committed an errour in taking the wrong first but after when I saw that all the rest of them did the same as we were passing before them I could not but be amazed because I could not imagine that all the Popes were so short-sighted as to need two sorts of Spectacles but the good man that was near to me perceiving my amazement to clear my mind from so many wandring imaginations said to me Pasquino for ought I see thou art in no little wonder at this manner of the Popes looking at those that draw near them Alas thou shouldst rather wonder if they should look at any one as other folks do for it is their nature to do every thing quite contrary to all others perhaps to make them know that they are Gods and not Men seeing they don't act like Men which they are but like Gods which they pretend to be The Spectacles which thou sawest them put on and take off have their particular virtues for the one pair makes things shew bigger and greater than they are and contrarily the other makes every thing appear so little that they mutilate the very nature of many Therefore when they will make a Flie an Elephant they put on the first pair and when they will make an Elephant a Flie they put on the second I no sooner heard this discourse but my thoughts ran to the Roman Vatican and I began to discourse thus with my self Now I understand the reason why so many poor worthy and deserving Prelates who have served the Church with so much labour and sweat for many years are returned to their own Houses without any reward but only having the faculty of going hastily out of Rome And on the contrary so many scandalous paltry Priests that deserve no other honour than the Gallows who as soon as they come to Rome are seen suddenly to be promoted to the highest degree of Prelacy to the great astonishment and heart-breaking of Christian people M. For my part I have been a thousand times Scandalized at such proceedings and would have been glad to know the true cause P. Well then you may leave being scandalized if you please For the Popes will never leave this practice M. You having then seen them both put on and take off their Spectacles leave me not thus confused but tell me if you please how was it done P. To understand well the affairs of the Vatican you must take pains to trace them but I am sure you will not be at that trouble because you Expect it should be thrust into your throat with a little Spoon and I who am very much inclined to lay open the Vatican defects am Willing to undertake all the pains and the rather because I am obliged to it by the friendship which I have professed to thee Know then that when their most Illustrious Excellencies the Brothers of our Lord or their Reverend Eminencies the Nephews of his Holiness have a mind to favour some Petty Clergy man fresh come forth from the lap of his Mother who had never seen but the outside of the Court what do they do but put a pair of Spectacles on the Popes Nose made with that admirable art which shall make my Petty Clerk look like a Mighty great Doctor So that the poor Pope deceived by that false perspective believing him that might Doctor indeed the Petty Clerk comes out declared not a Bishop or a Nuntio but a most Eminent Cardinal whilst the Prelates of the Court most worthy of such honours break their horns by dashing their heads together to find out how this comes about neither do they leave beating their brains till they come to discover the virtue of these Spectacles Now because naturally the Popes Nephews include the Brothers also inclined by a certain natural instinct to vilifie the merits of the most deserving persons What canst thou guess they do to put them by the Honours due to them As soon as they see those Prelates come near the presence of the Pope with a whole bundle of services performed to the Church and an infinity of Merits to obtain the deserved rewards of their fatigues but put the other Spectacles on the Popes Nose which have the virtue of diminishing things to such an extremity that a Tower would scarce be seen thro' them at the distance of four steps so that that Mountain of Merit which the good Prelate brings along with him appears to the Popes eyes but as a little bush so that he is sent away without any manner of Reward and the worst of all is that my Lords the Nephews laugh not so much to see the Prelate so ill used as to see their Uncle well deceived M. The guilt then is not in the Popes which are deceived but in the Nephews which deceive them P. The fault rather is wholly the Popes who suffer themselves so to be deceived and that upon two accounts first for admitting their Nephews into the Vatican and giving them the supream command of all things the second is for letting such kind of Spectacles be put upon their Noses and be willing rather to see with those false eyes of their Nephews than with their own true and natural ones In the Infancy of the Church the Popes saw with their own eyes and not with their Nephews Spectacles the merits of persons were measured according to their own nature i. e. as the Prelates made proficiency therein by means of the services which they performed to the Church and the Popes advanced them in honours suitable to the proportion of their services which so edified the people that they adored those holy Popes which proceeded with so much fanctity M. The Church hath now great need to see either the Popes of those times return or those times themselves P. Yes indeed for if it holds on in this manner woe be to all Christendom for every thing begins to degenerate to such a degree that all begin to be weary of serving the Church of God and if we will but consider seriously the nature of the Roman Court but an Age backwards we shall find such great Extravagancies that if a Book were made of the Metamorphoses of Rome I am very certain it would bear the Bell away from those of Ovid
but this is not to be wisht lest it should be the occasion of more sorrow to the Weeping Universe M. I would fain know whether the Popes Nephews make use of the same kind of Spectacles which the Popes use P. Yes they make use of both sorts but being made by their Supreme Authority they always order those which are made for their own use to be tempered much finer and subtiler than the Spectacles of the Lords their Uncles M. I should be glad to know at what time to what purpose and to what persons they make use of those Spectacles P. Well I will tell thee then what things are done at Rome which thou shouldst know as well as my self but this is the common misery of the Romans who live at Rome and know not what is done in the Vatican where they treat of nothing but the destruction of the Romans The Nephews then make use of these Spectacles at all times unless it be at certain days of Solemnities when blindness prevails a giddy madness flying up into their heads they do act all things hoodwinkt but at all other times except those days they put on and pull off those Spectacles in this manner When they would reward some Servant of their family who has served them a great many years they put on the Spectacles which lessen and contract the sight in considering of their Services and to take a view of what they should give them they put on the other Spectacles that magnifie every thing so delighting themselves by esteeming themselves generous they fancy they bestow much more than they have deserved but always when they are to receive any thing themselves they take the Spectacles which make every thing look very little by which means they can never be satisfied for when a Genoese Prelate for they bid highest comes and gives them fifty thousand Crowns the Nephews instantly put on the foresaid Spectacles which contract every thing that the fifty thousand Crowns hardly appear one thousand by which means they remain with so unsatiable an appetite that they are always craving more M. Now I guess I understand their thoughts or to speak trulier the reasons why my Lords their Nephews slight the Injuries which are discourst against them being call'd Thieves nay the worst of Thieves because they look upon all things which they steal with their lessening Spectacles which makes great things shew as little or nothing cannot imagine there should be any cause of complaint being matters of so little moment P. God be praised Marforius that thou hast once guest right which I am mightily pleased with for 't is true that if the Popes Nephews should look upon all they steal in its own magnitude they would not steal so much because the Art of Thievery needs some concealment that it might be exercised with such a closeness that it could not be known to observers but they rob with so great greediness that Children may discern it with those hellish Glasses which make Crowns appear but Farthings hence they insult over the People after they have flead them as if the People who were robb'd rather deserved to be punished than the Nephews who play the Thieves at the very foot of the Altar M. Yet we need to pitty those poor Nephews tho they be Thieves because the fault is rather in the Spectacles than themselves and methinks the disease might be cured by that sentence of Philosophy Remove the cause and you remove the effect P. They are worthy both of Compassion and Punishment of Compassion because they are induced to it by the Violent power the Devil hath over them of Punishment because they allow themselves to be tempted to do such actions which make them Scandalous to the eyes of the whole World. When a Servant will Rob his Padron he never steals all his money at once lest his theft should be immediately discovered but ingeniously takes now and then a Pistol and so would the Nephews of Popes do if they had but so much wit as to rob with that Moderation that might keep them from being accounted publick Thieves But I believe they do not imagine that they are great Thieves or else think the world is blind for otherwise they would not have exposed their reputation so grosly The best remedy would be to take from them those accursed Spectacles which make Pistols seem like Farthings and so diminish excessive thefts Reducing them to such minute Atomes that the very Confessors absolve them as if the theft were not of value enough to amount to a sin But this is a thing not possible whilst these Spectacles are incorporated to them by the blessing granted unto them by his Holiness M. Let us then talk of something else how did these Popes spend the hours of the day that you saw P. I am ashamed to tell thee and yet I will that thou mayst have thy part of the shame also Some of them applauded themselves for what they had done and others imploy'd their time in doing something worthy of Memory now those memorable things were either appointing the Cross to be adored in the Church and that it should be set upon a Pedestal representing Mount Calvary in Commanding prayers for the deceased in distinguishing the Canonical hours in forbidding Marriage to the Ecclesiasticks in making Hymn's and Canticles for the Church in reforming the Breviary in adding and diminishing the Antiphona's in blessing some Medals in forbidding the eating of flesh in Lent in diversifying the habits of Priests and Friers in appointing Lamps to be continually burning in Churches in consecrating the Stones of Altars in making the bodies of Saints to be transported from one Church to another in decreeing that those of Religious Orders should abide in their Cloisters in Commanding Pillars to be set at the Gates of Temples in altering the Colours of the Sacerdotal Vests to Celebrate Mass in repairing old Church-yards In Canonizing some dead Saint in placing Images and Candlesticks upon Altars in confirming privileges on the Mendicants in allowing Hermitages to be built in deserts that devout Travellors may be there more easily robbed in forbidding Marriages between those who have been Gossips in multiplying the number of Bishops in making the Relicks of Saints to be adored and kissed in forbidding Religious orders wearing habits of silk giving order that Hallelujah should be sung in Churches in conjuring out Devils in commanding Processions through publick streets in appointing dying people to be anointed with holy Oyl in forbidding those of Religious Orders to own any Subjection to Princes in putting a Cross on the Popes Shooe in decreeing Incense to Images in granting Indulgences some for years and others for ever together with an hundred such kind of juggles to which they bent all their studies M. I doubt not but thy pleasure was great in seeing and considering them so prettily imploy'd P. I was in a strange toss not knowing what to make of it not so much for seeing the
seem strange which I say unto thee O Roman It being a very great truth that Women are causes of the absolute destruction of Men. How many poor Husbands are forced to steal that they might have the liberty to kiss their own Wives who will not sell Matrimonial kisses but at the weight of Gold How many are constrained to despair to see their multiplicity of Children exceed the conveniency of their Fortune and that which is worst of all that they are Children given to and not begotten by them How many men call upon the Devil all the day because they cannot see their Wives by night they being engaged by promise to their secret Friends How many Murders are committed for Women How many Bankrupts are made by their Luxury How many Altars are profaned by their pleasure How many Poysons are prepared by Women for their Husbands being counselled to it by the unbridled lusts of their Lovers In fine let the Women therefore stay in the World since it is a great truth that one Woman there brings a greater profit to the Daemons than a thousand can do in Hell. M. This Devil was no fool But let us leave these wicked Women with a mischief and pass on Whither wentest thou afterwards P. We entred into a place which was all fire round about which were many Devils in the shape of Satyrs upon every one of which sate a person courted by many Devils which served as an Apollyon but such an Apollyon as was agreeable to the quality of that place One put certain fiery Spurs on their feet others blew in their ears the hissing of a Serpent this incensed them with Sulphur and Pitch and another gave them Venom and Poyson to eat and every one was mighty busie to shew themselves meritorious Courtiers of those persons on horse-back in the form of Women upon those Satyrs and there were millions of these persons all served in the same manner but that which I found most strange was to see them all without eyes and my amazement was so great because I knew not what it signified my thoughts this while boiled with infinite imaginations and I searched about for the reason of such a change I believed that these might be that sort of Men who with many lascivious looks had fallen in love in Churches in the presence of the Sacrament of the Altar as is seen every day in Rome whence I esteemed it a very suitable punishment for such kind of persons to be depriprived of their eyes-sight Again I imagined that these were such as had been curious in prying into the actions of others and as a Castigation fit for that I supposed they were condemned to have their eyes pluckt out But none of these thoughts satisfying me I begg'd a particular account of the most complaisant Daemon that I saw there who answered me thus Those whom thou seest us serve with so much Infernal Magnificence are the most Reverend Fathers of the Inquisition to whom we are much obliged having with their rigorous Tyranny forbidden the Reading of the Sacred Scriptures in the Vulgar Tongue which is that which most perfectly instructs those Men who understand it in their duty and turns them from evil filling and replenishing Heaven and dispeopling Hell which we here being very sensible of have found out this invention viz. to oblige the Popes under other pretences to introduce the Inquisition into the Church and to assist the Inquisitors continually to serve us as Instruments to accomplish our main design which is the peopling Hell and dispeopling Heaven of its Inhabitants which our good Friends and Companions the Fathers Inquisitors help us not a little in whilst they are the cause that many thousands in the World live in utter Ignorance by being prohibited the Reading of the Sacred Scriptures So that the people not being able to know their duty wander out of the way believing they live well when they live wickedly Besides this the Fathers the Inquisitors forbid the Reading of all Books which discover the Vices of the Ecclesiasticks which is the ground of two mischiefs the one in obliging the people to imagine the greatest enormities and defects of those who should be Looking-glasses to the common people of Christendom to be Virtues the other in flattering the Ecclesiasticks who being safe from receiving any affront or shame from the people who are forbidden by a rigorous Edict either to speak ill or to think ill of the wickedness of the Ecclesiasticks they remain plunged in gluttony and lust and an hundred thousand dissolutenesses contrary to the Laws of the God of Heaven In fine the profit which the Inquisitors bring to this place is incredible whose eyes we therefore put out lest they should read that themselves which they debar others from for they would be sure if they did but look into those Books which they prohibit others to renounce the Inquisition themselves and perceive the error which brings so many to Hell and so much mischief to Christianity M. Truly I believe that this restraint from Writing against and Reading of the Vices of the Ecclesiasticks makes them not a little proud believing themselves greater than they are in despite of what they know themselves to be P. The Inquisition was not introduced by those Popes who piously ruled the Church but by those Ecclesiasticks who would live in the Church as Sardanapalus did in the World whilst the Church-men were holy and zealous in the Divine Service and Edifiers of the people there was no speech of the Inquisition in the Church and yet the Heresies against which they say the Inquisition was set up had more vigour at that time than they have now But no sooner did the Ecclesiasticks begin to degenerate from their Pristine State nay from the very nature of their Character but they bethought themselves of bringing in the Inquisition to bridle the mouths of the people from publishing those Vices which they had embraced with so much licentiousness an evident sign that the end of those who invented the Inquisition hath not been to throw down Heresie but to keep the people in awe that they might not so much as murmure at the impiety of the Ecclesiasticks Whereat the Religious taking courage do sin with so much liberty that sin in them seems to be grown to a natural habitude and the poor people dare do no less than sanctifie the Vices of the Ecclesiasticks lest they should fall Victims to the cruelty of the Inquisition If the people had liberty to speak and to write against the Scandals which the Ecclesiasticks commit in the face of the Church assuredly these things would be amended that they might not be reproached and trampled upon by the people but the Inquisitors will not endure it wherefore I do believe they have made an agreement with the Devil to fill up Hell with damned Souls M. I have heard that the true reason of forbidding Books is nothing else but an interest of the purse and
bid me follow him and so we entred into a very spacious way which was set on both sides with great numbers of Devils in ranks one over another and clothed like the Guards of Kings so that I gathered from thence we were going to the Palace of Lucifer Emperour of Hell which was too true for we had gone but a very few steps further when we came to the Gate of the said Palace which was guarded by a good number of Souldiers divided into three Companies of Guards yet we had no difficulty in getting in tho' 't is true that great Lucifer's Ushers and Grooms met us in the Hall and told us that they had precise Orders to carry no Embassador into their Prince without telling him who it was that asked for Audience and for what cause they required it and therefore the Devil who was with me acquainted them with my request which was to obtain a licence from his Infernal Majesty to give me leave to go into the Hell of the Jesuits M. It would not quit the Charge of exposing ones self to the sight of so great a Prince of Darkness to gain a sight of these Fathers who boast themselves to be the Light of the World For my part I would e'ne have been satisfied to hear that they were safe in the Devils Clutches P. The Appetites of Men are very different I for my part would go willingly into Hell to have the pleasure of seeing one Jesuit in Purgatory Now when I was introduced into the presence of Lucifer who sate upon a mighty high Throne made of burning Coals interwoven with certain flames which threw out sparks on all sides like a Smiths Forge I tendred my request to him which he readily heard but asked me so many Questions that I began a little to repent I had ever thought of the Jesuits discerning very plainly that he derided my curiosity nevertheless he rose up and with his own hands took three Keys which lay under his breech and gave them to three of the most Diabolical Counsellors that waited about his Throne commissioning them to conduct me to the residence of the Jesuits and so I was dismist by Lucifer without saying any more to me but Go satisfie your foolish curiosity and I immediately began to follow those Devils who carryed the Keys who without going out of the Royal Palace conveyed me thro' certain very deep Dens all full of Asps and Basilisks from whence we past into so strait an Alley that we could scarce go in it one after another in the middle of which there was a door which was opened with one of the three Keys and at the end of this Lane there was another door which was likewise opened with the second Key and entring in there we found a Draw-bridge guarded by four huge Devils to whom one of the three Counsellors spoke commanding them by the Authority of Lucifer to let us go in so they failed not instantly to let down the Bridge which we passed over and not far from thence we found a great Gate which was also kept by Lucifer's Guards shut on the out-side with a great Chain which was also opened with the third Key and by the Counsellors own hand who knocked two or three times and at the last knock one within came and opened a small Wicket thro' which he spoke to the Counsellors but I could not hear what they said but in fine the Gate was opened to us and we entred in and after that Gate was shut again very safely Another lesser Gate was opened where we were let in attended by a dozen of Halberdiers but two of the Counsellors stay'd behind and only one of them went along with me We had scarce set our feet within that place but we began to see so prodigious a number of Jesuits that I could never have credited it They all stood with their hands and feet chained up and with Padlocks in their mouths that they could not speak nevertheless they suffered no other torments but that of flames which indeed were very great but there was not one word heard for those Devils which were there to look after them had no other form than of the most poysonous Serpents so that there was a most exact silence observed I was so presently satisfied concerning the Jesuits that I askt to go out and resolved to lose the very memory of them therefore I knockt at the Gate which was opened and we returned back in the self same manner that we came But my curiosity engaged me to beseech one of those Counsellors as we travelled to know what was the cause that made the Jesuits be kept in so strict a custody in Hell deprived of the very satisfaction of conversing with the other damned Souls To which Question the Counsellor answered me in Political Sicknesses 't is convenient to make use of Violent Remedies to exterminate the arising evil else the Wound rankling might render the Disease incurable Now we who perceived from the very first that the Jesuits appeared in the World that they had no other design than aspiring to the Universal Monarchy whence to arrive to the end of their intention they have not forborn trying Impossibilites joyning the Morals Speculatives Rhetoricks and Politicks together to gain upon the minds of Princes and People and tho' at first fight it does appear as if they had obtained their design yet nevertheless if you search into the bottom of what they have done you will find that these Fathers have obtained the absolute Monarchy over all the Kingdoms of Europe whilst they command the Princes in counselling them and impose Laws on the People in confessing them and lord it over other folks wealth in seeming to despise their own All these things being perceived by our Lucifer who watches over the free Monarchy of Hell with an accurate Vigilancy that he may not fall into that Error which the Princes of Europe have and daily do fall into who suffer themselves to be ruled nay domineer'd over by Jesuitical Subtilties and Stratagems has determined to keep them thus fettered and deprived from all manner of Commerce that the Jesuits might not attempt to become Monarchs of Hell like as they have made themselves Monarchs of the World. Truly I found my self all melted into tears at this discourse giving up my self to weep for the misery of the People or rather of Christian Princes who are so contented to sell their own Liberty coming short of the wit of Hell who know much better how to maintain the Liberty and Authority of their Monarchy than these Princes and People have done theirs In the mean time being come back to Lucifer's Palace the Counsellors being about to take their leaves of me they all said to me That now I was returning to the World I should remember Princes and endeavour to open their eyes a little better because the Jesuits had their eyes ever open and watching to ruine every Monarchy and support their
own which I promised them I would do so I took my leave of them and as I passed out by the back Gate of Lucifer's Palace into a large Street I heard such horrid yellings and howlings as would have struck terrour into the most courageous heart this noise surprized me because I could not imagine these to be the Jesuits but as I went on a little further I perceived upon several Apartments a different Banner which seemed to look rather like the Ensign of some Secular than Religious Order M. What were these then and what Account did the Devil thy Guide give thee of them P. They were several Societies of Men that by Hypocrisie and Deceit under a Veil of Piety had cunningly defrauded their Neighbours and several Trades-men under the pretence of honesty and fair dealing cheated those that used to Trade with them and upon these wretches the Policies of Hell ordered severe pains to be inflicted and besides I could easily distinguish them by observing the Banners of every several Company There were Vintners and Ale-Drawers Mercers and Drapirs Brewers and Bakers Pewterers and Goldsmiths Grocers and Dyers and above an hundred several Companies as well of Retailers as Whole-sale-men M. But pray tell me what order is taken with the Vintners in Hell who torture Men upon Earth with their Sophistications and base Wine methinks they deserve severer punishments than other Men. P. Oh! the Devils know them too well to let them escape due Chastisement they are a company of Rank Rascals and are used accordingly Nay it has been often debated in Hell to have them suffer the same torments that are inflicted upon the Physicians Surgeons Apothecaries and Hang-men and to have them turned amongst them for in truth they are as great slaughter-men as any of the rest but for some Politick Reasons it hath hitherto been forborn for these Vintners bring advantage to Hell and by the fumes of their bad Wine many Men are exasperated to commit Murders and other Villanies and by that means send Griss to the Mill therefore for these good services they are allotted an Infernal Habitation to themselves being very numerous M. But did you not go in and see some other Trades-men as well as the Vintners and how they were employed P. O yes the Devils had prepared work enough for them as you shall hear The Mercers and Drapâ—rs were compelled to fold and unfold Artificial flakes of fire continually The Brewers were purboiled in their own Coppers instead of Mault The Bakers were thrown into heated Ovens and taken out again piping hot but not so well savour'd as their new-baked Loves used to be The Pewterers and Goldsmiths had their share of torment also for all their false Allays of Copper Lead and other Metals being separated from the true Gold Silver and Pewter were melted and poured down their throats scalding hot to cool their covetous thirst after unlawful gain The Grocers were kept as relishing Pickles and delicious Sawces hasht and cookt up by the experienced Daemons and choicely preserved as Rarities and Ragousts for Lucifer's own Table But amongst the variety of Trades-men I was the most of all amazed to behold the Dyers who being thrown into their own Caldrons of variety of Colours came out such motly creatures that the Devils themselves knew not what to make of them this very Trade had its different punishment and every particular man had his torments suitable to the Cheats he had used in his Vocation M. Truly my old friend thou hast given me a notable Account of the Devil's proceedings against wicked men in the other World but go on and tell me what happened afterwards in thy Voyage P. Whilst I was advising with the Daemon my Comrade which way to take I heard a buzzing noise as if some great house had been on fire every body ran about in confusion and some leaped down three or four steps to get out the sooner so I followed the Crowd and the Devil my Companion with me but neither of us knew whither we were going but running with the multitude and pressing in the throng he met one of his Fellow-Devils and asked him what was the matter who answered him that Don Mario was just now come to Hell which made every one run to see him make his entrance and give him a kind reception When I heard this news I rejoyced and said within my self Ha! ha the Popes Nephews are not far from this place since Don Mario is come hither expecting to meet them So I ran with all possible speed lest I should lose such an opportunity but I was absolutely confounded to see and observe the mighty honours which were done to the said Don Mario for it appeared to be a Solemn Triumph whilst Lucifer himself went out to meet him and vouchsafed to conduct him also into the Apartment of other kinsmen of the Popes which were all courted by so great a number of Devils that I dare truly say there was in that one Apartment more of them than in all the rest of Hell. This extraordinary honour which I saw done to Don Mario and to the other Nephews of Popes and the Myriads of Devils that I saw so busied to serve them moved me to the curiosity of Asking a Daemon who cryed out with a louder Voice than any else Long live the Nepotismo What was the reason of all this who answered me thus That the Devils had much more reason to give greater services to Relations of Popes than to the rest of the whole World that they might not sin by Ingratitude because the Nephews of the Popes were the cause of so many Souls dying in despair M. What did he mean by this the point seems to me a little too speculative P. Not so much as you think and I am of the opinion he had reason enough for indeed to speak the truth the Nephews of the Popes do torment Prelates Religious men Priests Fryers Nuns Nobles and Plebeans with Grievances with Violences with spightful actions with taking Offices from the best deserving to give them to the best Chapmen and with a hundred thousand of such kind of tricks by which they reduce the greatest part of Christians to despair and by that drawing much profit to Hell who therefore assist and honour the Nephews to inflame them the more to Persecution now instantly after I had seen Don Mario in Hell I began to think of returning back to Rome being certain I should find much more quiet there whereupon I told my Sentiment to the Demon who had bin allotted me for my Companion who made me fall I cannot tell you how into a profound sleep which when I wakened out of after hours I found my self in Rome where thou seeft me Behold then in what manner my decease and revival hath hapned but as I have made thee a relation of the affairs in the other World do you now give me some account of what hath passed at Rome since my departure