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A36903 The informer's doom, or, An unseasonable letter from Utopia directed to the man in the moon giving a full and pleasant account of the arraignment, tryal, and condemnation of all those grand and bitter enemies that disturb and molest all kingdoms and states throughout the Christian world : to which is added (as a caution to honest country-men) the arraignment, tryal, and condemnation of the knavery and cheats that are used in every particular trade in the city of London / presented to the consideration of all the tantivy-lads and lasses in Urope [sic] by a true son of the Church of England. Dunton, John, 1659-1733. 1683 (1683) Wing D2629; ESTC R27312 54,240 166

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you have heard what these two men have sworn against the Prisoner at the Bar and now Mr. Envy-good to you You have denied your name to be Envy-good yet you see that these honest men have sworn that that is your name As to your Plea in that you are quité besides the matter of your Indictment you have pleaded for your self is that you have denied your name c. but here you see we have Witnesses to prove that you are the man For the peace that you so much boast of making among your Neighbours know that peace that is not a companion of truth and holiness but that which is without this foundation is grounded upon a lye and is both deceitful and damnable thy Plea therefore has not delivered thee from what by the Indictment thou art charged with but rather it doth fasten all upon thee But thou shalt have very fair play let us call the Witnesses that are to testifie as ●o mattter of fact and see what they have to say for our Lord the King against the Prisoner at the Bar. Clerk Mr. Peaceable What say you for our Lord the King against the Prisoner at the Bar. Peaceable My Lord This man hath of a long time made it to my knowledge his business to keep Vtopia in a sinful quietness in the midst of all her lewdness filthiness and turmoils and hath said and that in my hearing Come come let us fly from all trouble on what ground soever it comes and let us be for a quiet and peaceable life though it wanteth a good foundation Clerk Come Mr. Love the Peace what have you to say Love the Peace My Lord I have heard him say That peace though in a way of unrighteousness is better than trouble with truth Clerk Where did you hear him say this Love the peace I heard him say it in Folly-yard at the house of one Mr. Simple next door to the sign of the Self-deceiver Yea he hath said this to my knowledge twenty times in that place Besides he sets himself to deface and untterly to spoil all the remainders of goodness in Vtopia Clerk Mr. Envy-good How could you have the face to plead Not guilty when you are manifestly the Doer of so much wickedness Envy-good Sir I thought I must say something and as my name is so I speak I have been advantaged by lyes before now and did not know but by speaking lyes I might have reaped the same benefit now Clerk Set him by Iayler and set Mr. Violence the Headborough to the Bar. Mr. Violence the Headborough brought to the Bar. Mr. Violence thou art here Indicted by the name of Violence for that thou dost most trayterously and wickedly shut up all bowels of compassion to the Ministers of Christ And for that thou dost hale and rout them from place to place and dost at all times fly from those thoughts that had in them a tendency to lead thee to repentance What sayst thou to this Indictment Guilty or not guilty Not guilty of Violence my Lord I 'le assure you Clerk Call for the Witnesses What say you the Witnesses to this Prisoner Mr. Know-much My Lord his Name is Violence so he hath writ himself in all Papers of concer●s where he has had to do But these Violent-men love to counterfeit their Names Mr. Avarice covers himself with the name of Frugality or the like Mr. Flanting can when need is call himself Mr. Piety or the like and so of all the rest of them Clerk Mr. Sober what say you Sober His name is Violence my Lord I have known him from a Child and he hath done all that wickedness whereof he stands charged in the Indictment but there is a company of men that are not acquainted with the danger of damning therefore make no bones of cursing and damning and lying Mr. Violence kills a man and pleads he did it in his passion Violence My Lord. I have always been a man of Courage and Valour and have not used when under the greatest clouds to sneak or hang down the head like a bulrush And though t' other day I kill'd a man 't was in passion and therefore it is I am thus accused 'T is true I did not use to consider who was my Foe nor what the cause was in which I was engaged 'T was enough to me if I carried it bravely fought like a man and came off like a Victor Therefore my Lord let me be acquitted Court Mr. Violence You are not here Indicted for that you have been a valiant man nor for ●our courage and stoutness in times of distress but for that you have made use of this your pretended valour to draw men into acts of rebellion both against Peace and Love This is the crime and the thing wherewith thou art charged within the Indictment But he made no answer to that Now when the Court had thus far proceeded against the Prisoners at the Bar then they put them over to the Verdict of their Jury to whom they did apply themselves after this manner Gentlemen of the Iury You have been here and have seen these men you have heard their Indictments their Pleas and what the Witnesses have testified against them Now what remains is that you do forthwith withdraw your selves to some place where without confusion you may consider of what Verdict in a way of truth and righteousnes you ought to bring in for the King against them and so bring it in accordingly Then the Iury to wit Mr. Prudent Mr. Harmless Mr. Good-heed Mr. Christian Mr. Love-worth Mr. Free-love Mr. Temperate Mr. Hope-well Mr. Compassion Mr. Mercifull Mr. Self-denial Mr. Love the peace withdrew themselves in order to their work And when they were shut up by themselves they fell to discourse among them selves in order to the drawing up of their Verdict And thus Mr. Prudent for he was the Foreman began Gentlemen quoth he for the men the Prisoners at the Bar for my part I believe they all deserve death Very right said Mr. Harmless I am wholly of your opinion O what a mercy is it said Mr. Good-heed that such Villains as these are apprehended Ai ai said Mr. Christian this is one of the joyfullest days that ever I saw in my life Then said Mr. Love-worth I know that if we judge them to death our Verdict shall stand Nor do I at all question it said Mr. Free-love He said moreover When all such Beasts as these are cast out of Utopia what a goodly Country will it be then Then said Mr. Temperate it is not my manner to pass my judgment with rashness but for these their Crimes are so notorious and the Witness so palpable that that man must be wilfully blind who saith the Prisoners ought not to die Blessed be God said Mr. Hope-well that the Traytors are in safe custody And I joyn with you in this upon my bare knees said Mr. Compassion I am glad also said Mr. Mercifull Then said
John Dunton at y e Black Rauen in the Poultrey over agianst the Stocks MArkett London T Catlett Sc● THE INFORMER'S DOOM OR AN Amazing and Seasonable Letter FROM UTOPIA Directed to the Man in the MOON Giving a full and pleasant Account of the Arraignment Tryal and Condemnation of all those grand and bitter Enemies that disturb and molest all Kingdoms and States throughout the Christian World To which is added as a caution to honest Country-men the Arraignment Tryal and Condemnation of the Knavery and Cheats that are used in every particular Trade in the City of LONDON Presented to the consideration of all the Tantivy-Lads and Lasses in VROPE by a true Son of the Church of ENGLAND Curiously Illustrated with about Threescore Cuts Entred according to Order LONDON Printed for Iohn Dunton at the Black-Raven in the Poultrey over-against Stocks-Market 1683. THE Epistle Dedicatory TO THE CITIZENS OF LONDON Gentlemen YOu have here presented to your candid View a full and impartial Account with many other remarkable things of the Arraignment Tryal and Condemnation of all those grand and bitter Enemies that disturb all Kingdoms and States throughout the Christian World c. But the Application and Improvment of them is to be if you tender your Temporal or Eternal Interest made by you your selves I am not Insensible that by the exposing this Book I shall expose my self too to the censure of those who take measure of every thing by their petulant humours and have no other way to set off ●●eir own barren Inventions but by perpetual In●●ctives against the multitude of Books which appear every day in the World Whereas indeed the mischiefs which they complain of have proceeded not from their number but quality For should every Man write an exact Narrative of the various Experiences and Circumstances of his Life comprehending as well his Vices as Vertues and have them with simplicity related how useful would this prove to the publick tho' it would much increase the number of Books but this so impartial an Account may rather be wisht for than expected since Men have ever preferred their own private Reputation before the real good of themselves or others I have comprized this Treatise in an Eighteen Penny Book though considering the Cuts it cannot be well afforded so that as it is of real use and publick concern so it might be the better disperst throughout this English Nation I Rest Dear Fellow-Citizens Your most Humble Servant PHILAGATHVS AN ACCOUNT FROM UTOPIA OF The late Famous and Remarkable Tryals of all those grand and bitter Enemies that disturb and molest all Kingdoms and States throughout the Christian World WHen the Assizes were in Vtopia Conscience the Iudge of that Country attended on by the Sheriff the Iustices of the Peace and such as necessarily were to be there being seated on the Bench of Impartiality caused the Commission of Oyer and Terminer to be Read for the speedy Tryal of all those grand and bitter Enemies that disturbed and molested that Country and all other Kingdoms and States throughout the Christian World And the very first that was called to the Bar was that Grand-He-Rogue Innocent the XI Pope of Rome Iayler set Pope Innocent the XI to the Bar. Pope Pope Hold up thy Hand Pope Thou art here Indicted by the Name of Pope Innocent the XI of the Famous City of Rome in the Parish of Babylon That thou being an illegitimate Son begotten of Falshood Murthers Assasinations Heresie Paganism Iudism hast by great Violence murder'd the Territories of the Church of God and by Spanish Inquisition bloody Massacres stabbing poysoning and killing of Kings Gun-owder Plots Treasons Rebellions and other hellish Practices usurped Authority and thrust upon God's People their humane Traditions Inventions Superstitions Will-worship Heresies Iewish Ceremonies add Paganish Idolatry to the damnation of many Christian Souls contrary to the Peace of our Soveraign Lord the King his Crown and Dignity What sayest thou hereunto Art thou guilty or not guilty Not guilty my Lord. By whom wilt thou be tryed By God and the Country But good my Lord let me have a Jury of my own choosing Iudge Because neither thou nor any of thy slanderous Favourites may say that thou hast been proceeded against rigorously and unjustly without respect to the Truth of the Cause I am content to call a Jury of thine approbation if here we can have so many as will make up the number I humbly thank you my good Lord God reward your Lordship for it Mr. Sheriff Impannel a Jury of very substantial men the chiefest you can find and fittest to go upon this Prisoner now at the Bar. My Lord I supposed that as he would crave so from your Lordships uprightness he should obtain this Favour therefore have I prepared a full Iury to this purpose It was done wisely of you Mr. Sheriff let them be called Cryer Call in the Iury. 1. Call Common Principles Vous aves Common principles 2. Call Apostles Creed Vous aves The Creed 3. Call Second Commandment Second Commandment come in My Lord I cannot get in What 's the matter My Lord saith the Cryer the Papists keep him out Command to let him in Vous aves the second Commandment 4. Call Pater noster Vous aves Pater noster 5. Call Holy Scriptures Vous aves Holy Scriptures 6. Call the Apocripha Vous aves Apocripha 7. Call Counsels Vous aves Counsels 8. Call Ancient Fathers for the first six hundred years after Christ Vous aves Ancient Fathers 9. Call Contradiction among themselves Vuos aves Contradiction 10. Call Absurdity of Opinion Vous aves Absurdity of Opinion 11. Call Consent of their own men Vous Consent 12. Call Testimony of Martyrs Vous aves Testimony of Martyrs Count saith the Clerk Then the Cryer bids them answer to their Names Common Principles one Creed two Commandments three Pater noster four Holy Scriptures five Apocrypha six Counsels seven Fathers eight Contradiction nine Absurdity ten Consent of their own men eleven Testimony of Martyrs twelve Good men and true stand together and hear your Charge My Lord here are some more summoned by Master Sheriff's Authority Who be they Master Sheriff Master Law with his Sons Civil Canon Common and Municipal Well let them attend the Court for the King's service for use if need be Pope If thou canst justly accept against any I give thee leave to challenge any such of the Iury. Good my Lord only one of the Iury I except against which is Holy Scripture except it be our own Translation Holy Scriptures excepted against by Pope Innocent Well saith the Iudge I am content it shall be so let it be either Montanus or the Rhemist or the Vulgar Edition we desire a just Proceeding with all the indifferency that may be Then the Cryer called aloud If any man can give Evidence or can say any thing against the Prisoner at the Bar let him come in