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A91838 The right, pleasant, and variable tragical history of Fortunatus. whereby a young man may learn how to behave himself in all worldly affairs and casual chances. First penned in the Dutch tongue: there-hence abstracted, and now first of all published in English / by T.C.; Fortunatus. Churchyard, Thomas, 1520?-1604, supposed tr. 1676 (1676) Wing R1509; ESTC R43912 86,094 193

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from one to another until it be spread all abroad And by this means he pretendeth to prevent all Mischief that eft-soons might chance among you through Amorous Love for he considereth that no woman regardeth a gelded man When Fortunatus had heard this report he was therewith amazed and first of all asked him whether he knew any secret way whereby he might convey himself with speed out of the City saying I will not in any case abide the presence of my Lord though he would give me all his Lands no though he would make me King of England would I serve him any longer I pray thée therefore said Fortunatus help me my good friend Robert and give me some counsel how I may speedily depart Robert answered saying Thou knowest all the Gates of the City be now shut and none can issue out or in until to morrow when the Bell warneth to service and then is the Cow-gate opened But my beloved Fortunatus if I my self were in your case I would not greatly refuse it considering the great Love and Affection that thy Lord hath conceived toward thee whereby thou art like to come to great preferment Then said Fortunatus I would rather become a begger to wander as a vagabond from place to place than to endure such a shame and villany Then spake Robert again saying I am now sorry that ever I advertised thee of these things sithence thou wilt so depart For I trust we should have lived together in friendly amity as loving brethren and to have passed our time joyfully one delighting in the other But sithence thou wilt by no means here longer remain let me yet be advertised by Letters from thee where thou art become that when our Lord shall be sufficiently provided of gelded men to his Chamberlains I may write to thee that thou mayst repair hither again for I doubt not but at any time thou shalt have entertainment of the Earl to this answered Fortunatus saying You shall little need either to write or send unto me for so long as I live I mean not to come to this court any more And therefore I instantly require thee not to disclose my departure until I have been three days away which thing Robert promised him and so he took his leave of him making semblance as though he were very sorry Thus this traiterous Judas wrought this knavish device It was about midnight when every one was at rest but Fortunatus head was full of bées so that every hour séemed unto him three for he feared lest the Earl should understand of his departure and so cause him to be stayed So passing all the night in fear and grief at the break of day he took his journey on Horse-back with Hounds following him as though he had pretended to Hunt and rode so swiftly that if one of his eyes had fallen out of his head he would scantly have stayed to take 〈◊〉 up How the Earl was exceeding sorry for the sudden departure of Fortunatus Chap. 4. WHen Fortunatus had ridden ten miles he bought another horse and sent back again unto the Earl his Horse and his Hounds that he might have no occasion to pursue after him When the Earl understood that Fortunatus had departed without leave forasmuch as he knew of no cause whereat he might be offended neither had paid him his wages he greatly marvelled and thereupon demanded of all his servants generally and particularly whether they knew any occasion of his departing They all denyed that they wist thereof and took their Oaths that they had not by any means to their knowledge grieved him Then went the Earl to the Ladies Gentlewomen requiring likewise of them whether they had moved him to any displeasure or whether they misdeemed any cause of his going away without leave The Countess and all the other Gentlewomen answered that they wist not of any thing that might offend him either by word or deed but that in the Evening before his departure he was exceeding merry and pleasant reporting unto them of the attire of Women and of many other Vsages and Customes of his Country and that in such corrupt language as we could not refrain from Laughing and he himself Laughing with us also and so with no worse countenance he left our company Then said the Earl although the cause of his flight be now concealed from me I doubt not but hereafter I shall be advertised thereof and verily if I shall know that any of mine was the occasion of it I shall be sharply revenged on him for I know that Fortunatus is not fled without some great cause I am sure that he hath gotten about 500 Crowns whilst he hath been here and I had thought he would not have departed hence during his live But now I perceive well he is not minded to return seeing he hath taken with him all his Iewels and his Substance When Robert perceived that his Lord was so grieved for Fortunatus great fear fell on him for he dreaded lest any of his fellows should bewray him that he was weined away by his procurement whereupon he went to every one particularly requiring them not to disclose his doings which they faithfully promised him and were very instant to know by what means he brought his purpose so subtilly to pass and that he was so suddenly fled away At the length to one that was most in his favour and was more importunate than the rest he told that Fortunatus had shewed him the state of his Father how he was become po●● and served in the King of Cyprus Court Whereupon said Robert I have shewed him that a Post was passed this way from the King of Cyprus towards the King of England to advertise him of the King of Cyprus death for they were near of Kindred which Post reported unto me that the King had exalted the state of Theodorus his Father and had given him the Earldom of Anclemus de Teraceno who died without any Heir by reason whereof the Earldom was fallen into the Kings hands for which Theodorus making the first suit obtained it and both he and his Heirs were therein confirmed by his Letters Patents When I had told him he scarcely believed me and thereupon said I would my Father had sped no worse notwithstanding upon this only he is departed When the other of his fellows heard this they said among themselves how uncircumspect was Fortunatus For if such good fortune chanceing unto him he had advertised our Earl thereof doubtless he would have worshipfully set him forth with certain of us to accompany him and so should he have been honourably received into his own Country and also still have retained the favour and friendship of his Lord and Master How Fortunatus came to London and consumed his Money in the company of Riotous Persons and Harlots Chap. 5. NOw leave we the Earl of Flanders with his men who knew little how Robert had deceived Fortunatus with a devised lie howbeit they
thereby because I am but a stranger Then went she joyfully unto the sorrowful Princess and said Gracious Lady pluck up a merry heart and be of good chear you shall be shortly rid of your Horns shewing unto her how when most of the London Physitians had sent her away comfortless she met by chance with a strange Doctor who made light of the matter and would warrant me to help your grief for that he had taken away the like from an Earls Daughter of Spain before Moreover he told me the cause whereof they did spring which your grace doth well know whereby I did the better believe him Then said Agrippina why had you not brought him with you séeing you know how earnest I desire to be cured Go incontinently and fetch him hither and will him to bring all things necessary for the purpose not sparing any cost Take also with you to give him an hundred Crowns and if he demand more give him as much as he asketh The Gentlewoman went to the Physitian gave him an hundred Crowns saying I pray you be now diligent and to the patient that I shall bring you must you come only by night neither must you disclose the matter to any person for her own father and mother as yet know not of it The Physitian said Doubt not you of my secretness but before I go with you I must buy at the Apothecaries such things as are requisite in the mean time you may stay here or return again two hours hence she said I will tarry for you for I dare not go home without you Then went Andol●cia to the Apothecaries and bought a quantity of Rubarb Sugar ●nd Rose-water and therein soaked and rolled one of his Apples being cut in little pieces He bought also a Box of sweet Oyntment and many other sweet odours and per●umes to delight her senses withal and then ●ame again to the Gentlewoman who con●eyed him by night to Agrippina to whom he ●aid let your Grace be of good comfort and ●oubt not but by Gods help and my science you shall be soon eased of your disease therefore prepare you that I may sée and féel your grief Agrippina though she were greatly a●hamed to shew her Horns sat up in her Bed The Physitian viewed and handled the horns saying You must have upon each horn a piece of rough Apes-skin taken warm from the Ape and with this confection will I anoint them also There was an old Ape in the Court which was presently slain and the skin flayed off of which were made two cases as the Physitian had commanded Then did he annoint the horns and her temples with Apes-grease and his sweet confection and put on the cases of the skin and said to her This have I done to soften and mollifie the horns but they must be brawn away by purging for the which you shall swallow these small Pills and rest thereupon whereby you shall perceive a speedy amendment Agrippina received the purgation which was the Apple to drive away horns cut in small pieces and mingled with rubarb And although this counterfeit Physitian had used such Apish Medicines to make a shew of rare cunning yet was it the Apple indeed that only did the feat Andolocia withdrawing himself a little aside the Rubarb began to work with his Patient so that she went twice or thrice to the Stool After a while came in the Doctor and said Let us see whether the Physick hath done any good and therewith he pulled off the skins and the horns were also diminished whereof she was exceeding glad Then departed he and said he would go to the Apothecaries again and that the next night he could finish his cure When he had tempered the other Apple with Sugar and Spice of another rellish he came the next night unto her again and dressed her as he had done before but gave her not so much of the Apple because she should not be throughly cured before he had talked with her and had some likelihood to bring his purpose to pass Wherefore as he sat by her she being asleep he thought with himself two or thrée thousand Crowns were a sufficient reward if another had done this cure but it is nothing comparable to the mischief she hath done unto me wherefore before I clean take away the horns I will let her understand my mind to the which if she will not consent where she thinks to be rid of her horns I will cause them to grow so long as they were before and then I will go into Flanders and from thence send her word that if she will have remedy she shall come unto me and bring with her the wishing-Hat and Purse As he was thus devising came in the Gentlewoman with a candle to see Agrippina who was asleep How Andolocia by chance found the Wishing-Hat Chap. 40. IT chanced that Andolocias Cap fell from his head so that when he stooped to take it up again he espied his wishing-hat lying under the bed on the ground which none regarded for they knew not the vertue of it neither knew the Princess her self that by the means thereof she was conveyed out of the Court and from the Desart for if she had it should not have been so negligently laid up The Physitian then sent the Gentlewoman for some Conduit Water and in the mean while he took it up from under the Bed and held it privily under his Gown By this time was Agrippina awaked then took he the skin from her Brow to sée how much the Horns were sunk which were now become very slender and scant an handful long whereof Agrippina was very glad And whereas Andolocia meant to have rough and sharp Communion with Agrippina he was now somewhat pacified when he had the Hat and in Courteous manner said unto her Gracious Lady you see that your malady is now well-diminished the chiefest cure that resteth behind is to drive the root of the Horns out of the skul to the which must be used very costly medicines which if I cannot find in this Realm I must needs either go my self or send some other Doctor to fetch such things whereof I shall inform him in other Countries which will ask great charges Besides this would I know what certain sum of money you will give me when you shall be clean rid of your Horns and that your forehead shall be as smooth as ever it was The Princess answered I have certainly found that your science is exxellent and true therefore I beseech you to do your best to help me and spare no money The Physitian said You bid me not to spare but I have no money whereof I should be liberal For Agrippina as naturally all Women be more nigardly than men was careful in sparing though she had a Purse which could not be empty Howbeit when he craved her liberality so plainly she went to her Coffer and brought out the Purse hanging it at her girdle wherein were
Then rode he straight unto the Prison to Andolocia whose legs were rotted with the stocks and irons but now he hoped that sithence they had his Purse they took no more regard of him but supposed that the Earl had sent Theodorus to let him out of Prison How Andolocia when his purse was gone was also murthered himself in Prison Chap. 47. BVt the Earl Theodorus said unto him tell me Andolocia host thou any more such Purses as thou hast given to the Earl of Limose If thou hast the like bestow it on me and I will presently let thee go free He answered Gracious Lord so God help me I have no more but if I had it were at your Commandment Then said Theodorus It is reported that thou art skilful in Negromancy and can flie in the Air Why dost thou not now practise thy Cunning to deliver thee from hence He said My good Lord I neither have nor never had any pleasure in that Art but have only had my pleasure with the Purse which ye have the same will I freely give to you and the Earl of Limose before God and the world and will never make claim to it again if you will for the Honour of God but only deliver me poor wretched man out of this prison lest I die here miserably Theodorus said Canst thou now submit thy self Why wast thou not so lowly when with such Pride and Presumption thou didst advance thy self before the King and the Queen to dishonour us all Where are all the fair Ladies whom thou didst so well please and which gave thee all the praise Try now if any of them can help thee but sithence thou doest so sore long to be out of Prison I will soon deliver thee from thy sorrow Then offered he five hundred Duckats unto the Kéeper to strangle Andolocia but he would not do it saying He is an honest man and very freble so that he must needs ere it be long die of himself but I surely will not commit such a hainous sin Then said Theodorus Give me a Halter and I will Strangle him but the Keeper would not in any case help him Then took he his girdle that was about his middle and casting of it about Andolocias neck with his Dagger writhed in it and so strangled poor Andolocia to death sitting in the stocks and gave the Keeper a reward to convey the dead body out of fight When this cruel tyrant had finished this horrid murther he incontinently departed again to the Court where he secretly told unto the Earl of Limose what he had done saying Andolocia is like to work us no more mischief for I have killed him with mine own hands neither could I rest before I was sure that he was dead Now whereas the Earl in four days space had not medled with the purse and the half year was expired that Theodorus turn came to enjoy it as long he demanded him to deliver it and take as much spending money as he would The Earl of Limose was well content and went forthwith to the Coffer and brought forth the Purse casting it upon the Table Theodorus took it in his hand and would have Coyned out some money but there was none to be felt neither would the Purse yield any more fruit Then looked they strangely one on the other not knowing that by Reason that Ampedo and Andolocia were both dead the Purse had lost his vertue Then the Earl Theodorus said angerly Thou false and deceitful man thinkest thou so fondly to deceive me by delivering unto me this simple Purse that is not worth a groat instead of that pretious Purse whereof we had so much money fetch me therefore that which I now ought to have He answered It is in good faith the same Purse that I took from Andolocia neither have I any other but how it comes to pass that it yieldeth not as it bid before I know not Theodorus would not be pacified with this Answer but was far more angry and said he would be revenged on him whatever befel and therewith drawing his Rapier strook at him The Earl of Limose having no other defence ran within him and staid his hands as soon as he might whereby they made such a noise that their men being in the next Chamber brake up the Doors and parted them Howbeit the Earl of Limose was deadly wounded therefore his men laid hold on Theodorus When tidings came to the King that the Earls which were great friends had fought in a Chamber and one almost slain the other he commanded both to be brought before him to enquire the cause of their debate but Theodorus only was examined the other being so wounded that he could not come How the two Elders by striving for the Purse were detected of the Murther and put to death Chap. 48. WHen the King by strict Examination and grievous Racking had violently forc'd Theodorus to confess how they had dealt with Andolocia he was excéedingly grieved being mov'd with wrathful displeasure against the murtherers without longer deliberation he gave judgement that they should be executed with bruising their bones upon wheels and that if the Earl of Limose were sick he should be carried to the place of execution and if he were dead that his carkass notwithstanding should be set on the wheel which was executed on the two Earls as the King had commanded Then sent the King also certain Officers to the Castle of Limose to seize upon all the goods and lands of the Earl and willed also that as many men and women as were in the castle consenting to the murther or that had concealed the same should be all hanged out upon the Castle walls without any mercy And whereas they had knowledge how the body of Andolocia was cast into a ditch by the Castle they caused it to be taken up and carried it to Famagosta where it was honourably buried in the Chantry Church which his Father had founded for whom the King and the Queen and the Prince and Princess mourned as if he had been of their near Linage And forasmuch as neither Ampedo nor Andolocia had any Heirs left behind them the King took the Costly Palace into his Possession wherein he found so much goods and ready coin such sumptuous houshold-stuff and so precious and costly Iewels that it might rather seem the Palace of some mighty Emperour than of a Subject In the same Palace the young King and Queen held their Court untill his Father departed out of this life and then began they to reign and govern the whole Realm of Cyprus FINIS