Selected quad for the lemma: cause_n

Word A	Word B	Word C	Word D	Occurrence	Frequency Band	MI	MI Band	Prominent
cause_n	great_a	know_v	matter_n	2,542	5	5.1820	4	true

Text snippets containing the quad

ID	Title	Author	Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication)	STC	Words	Pages
A42669	Misery's virtues whet-stone reliquiæ Gethinianæ, or, Some remains of the most ingenious and excellent lady, the Lady Grace Gethin, lately deceased : being a collection of choice discourses, pleasant apothegmes, and witty sentences / written by her for the most part, by way of essay, and at spare hours ; published by her nearest relations to preserve her memory, and digested for method's sake under proper heads.; Misery's virtues whet-stone	Gethin, Grace, Lady, 1676-1697.	1699 (1699)	Wing G625; ESTC R7820	27,432	102

please those whom he wishes to please But one can't help being fill'd with a troublesome Indignation to see Merit Neglects 'T is no great Difficulty to dissemble love and when one finds a Lady that is merry of a easy Humour and gay Spirit 't is a Diversion to give her a voluntary love which you may leave when you please and which for the present gives you some delight while this lasts one may accustom one self to speak to Her more than to Another I look on her I praise her I sigh artificially sing light airs which she takes to her self express my self in Amorous Verses Languishing Looks and absolutely pretend to love her If this pleases she is more free and Obliging than he she hopes all things and feels I know not what which he calls love In this slight imaginary love 't is not like others where love fore-runs Hope but in this Hope precedes Love 'T is Necessary she be not so very Complaisant and of too easie a Carriage but choose one neither too severe nor too easy who has no particular Gallant yet affects Gallantry fair and young without Capriciousness These Demy-Mistresses you may love without despair Leave when you please and pass your time pleasantly enough If one pleases to observe one may make pleasant Discoveries when one sees a Man of Sense visit a simple Woman one may imagine she hath an agreeable Kinswoman or Acquaintance and on the other hand if one sees a Woman of Wit frequent the Company of a foolish Fellow I conclude he is her Cully one way or other or if she seem to like one whom 't is impossible she should like in Justice or Interest I conclude 't is only a shadow under which she may see him whom she really Loves but after all Appearances are deceitful When one entertains a Passion One is very apt to flatter ones self tho'there be a great disproportion between ones self and the Person one loves so that if he have not a real Hope he has something that 's like it that bears him up and comforts him I 'le not be positive but there may be a Lover that can Hope nothing if so nothing can be more obliging than this sort of Love yet I am fully perswaded no Woman can ever be obliged to a Lover for his Love for 't is certain when a Man happens to be in love 't is because he cannot avoid it One may Love without hope of being favour'd though not without Hope of being loved One that Courts a melancholy Mistress must be very Cautious in the manner of telling his Love he must pay both great and small Services be full of Sweetness Tenderness and Assiduity and among all these a little Ingredient of Despair and if one must endure so much 't is better not to be lov'd If a merry Mistress be angry she is pacified with a Serenade all Quarrels are but trifles which are reconcil'd at the next Treat or Diversion if they do not love so zealously neither do they expect so much Love but give as much liberty as they take they require nothing but what is agreeable in it self they will walk with you laugh with you sing and dance with you and to do all this for the love of them certainly is not very difficult And is it not better to serve these than those that are full of Morals and the Politicks of Law And who exact solid Tears instead of Pleasures A man if he would overcome such a One must mix with his Love the Glory to have it fervent and must have an Amorous kind of Ambition to redouble the Violence of that Passion for 't is a pleasure after having been long a slave to a Mistress to be at last a Conquerour and to Vanquish that Heart that seem's Invincible I know not which is worse to be Wise to a Man that is continually changing his Loves or to an Husband that hath but one Mistress whom he loves with a constant Passion and if you keep some measure of Civilty to her he will at least esteem you But he of the roving Humor plays an hundred Frolicks that divert the Town and perplex his Wife She often meets with her Husbands Mistress and is at a loss how to carry her self towards her 'T is true the constant man is ready to sacrifice every moment his whole Family to his Love He hates any place where she is not is prodigal in what concerns his Love covetous in other respects Expects you should be blind to all he doth and tho' you can't but see yet must not dare to complain and tho' both he that lends his Heart to whosoever pleases it and he that gives it entirely to One do both of them require the exactest Devoir from their Wives yet I know not if it benot better to be Wife to an unconstant Husband provided he be something Discreet than to a constant Fellow who is always perplexing her with his inconstant Humour For the Unconstant Lovers are commonly the best humour'd but let 'em be what they will Women ought not to be unfaithful for Virtue 's sake and their own nor to offend by Example It is one of the best bonds of Charity and Obedience in the Wife if she think her Husband Wife which she will never do if she find him Jealous L d Bacon Wives are young Mens Mistresses Companions for middle-Age and old mens Nurses When I speak of Love I do not mean those trifling Loves which do not deserve the name they bear when a man gives himself to Mirth and has no other design but Diversion I speak of an unusual Love that is ardent and sincere grounded on Esteem and Virtue and when once they have exchanged Hearts their Desires are the same and likely so to continue Ingratitude after this Dearness is the most detestable Ingratitude to one who gives all when they give their hearts If they love thus there wants nothing but Occasion and that depends on Fortune If any persons of Wit be either merry or sad without Cause 't is a sign they are in Love A little love is pleasant too much is troublesome To know all the delights of love one must know all the bitters of it and he that cannot make great Afflictions out of trivial Matters shall ne're take great delight in great Favours but if one will be happy in love he must fancy to himself great Pleasure from slight Favours the very sight of the place where his Mistress has been must fill his heart with Joy but such a joy as must at once both grieve and rejoyce him forin Love Contraries often meet Nothing is more difficult than to reconcile Fear and Love and 't is a great Master-piece to make ones self beloved by those that fear us Those transitory Loves which succeeded one another do not deserve the name of Love some think if they have a sincere constant passion for One that they are not Inconstant if now and then they make

World had of Her while she was alive and still has of every thing that is the Genuine product and Issue of Her Pen. I think my self in Justice obliged to give some account of what is here set forth and thereby exposed to publick Censure As 1st That it was written for the most part in hast were her first Conceptions and overflowing of her Luxuriant Fancy noted with her Pencil at spare Hours or as she was Dressing as her 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 only and set down just as they came into her Mind as never designed for any others View but her own If any thing herein seems light or Trivial or not so proper to come from a Ladies Pen of such severe Virtue and Piety as she was it is to be remembred that these were the Early Flights of Youthful Fancy being scarce 20 when she died being writ some years before and the first and free Productions of her most private and unrestrained Thoughts and which she was Religiously careful should come to no others view But there is in them such strength of Wit such handsom Raillery such Essay and Natural Eloquence that it was not thought fit wholly to stifle and suppress them and deprive the World of so Great a Treasure And there is the less-Concern in this Matter because they are not designed for every ones publick View a few Copies being only intended to be Printed enough to preserve her Memory and for the private use of some persons who were either personally acquainted with her Admirers of her Wit and Virtue or particularly known to those that were and so it is not doubted but they will make candid Interpretation of all THE REMAINS OF THE Most Accomplish'd and Excellent Lady The Lady GRACE GETHIN Digested under their Proper HEADS Of Friendship FRiendship without Tenderness gives neither great Content nor Disquiet some have such an insensible Friendship they can part with their Friends without Melancholy when absent they think not of them they render Courtesies without Pleasure and receive them without Acknowledgment they neglect all petty Cares the misfortunes of those they Love touch 'em not Generosity and Ostentation has as much part in all they Act as Friendship their Love is so luke-warm that the least Contest is ready to infringe their Friendship They Love as if they lov'd not and their Friendship is very much interested and built upon Self-love We see every day these ordinary Friends without Tenderness forsake those to whom they have promised Love as soon as Fortune frowns on ' em There are some that cannot bear the long sickness of Friends and care little for seeing 'em when they are no longer in a Condition to Direct them But they are not truly Friends that have not a tender Heart for 't is That only that makes the sweetness of Friendship Tenderness has yet something more particular it has I know not what Air of Gallantry that renders it yet more Diverting It Inspires Civility in those that are capable of it and there is as much Difference between an ordinary and a tender Friend as between a tender Friend and a Lover The better to define Tenderness it 's a certain Sensibility of Heart inseparable from noble Souls virtuous Inclinations and solid Minds which makes them when they have Friendship have it sincerely and ardently and have a lively Sense of the Griefs and Joys of those they Love 'T is this Tenderness obliges them to love better to be with their unhappy Friend than to be in any place of the greatest Diversion It makes them excuse their Faults and Defects It makes them do great Services with Joy and not neglect the least Cares It renders particular Conversation more sweet than general It appeases any Disorder which may happen among Friends it unites their Hearts and all their Desires In a word it comprehends all the sweetness of Friendship it gives the greatest Delight and savours nothing of the irregularity of Love but resembles it in many things else Those of a stupid common Friendship take care only to keep the fairest Letters of their Friends but those of a tender Friendship keep with pleasure their least Notes they harken to an obliging word with Joy and by an unexpressible Charm those of a truly tender Heart find no trouble to visit those for whom they have a Friendship tho' they be sick and Melancholy Friendship is the Allay of Sorrow the ease of our Passion the Discharge of our Opression the Sanctuary to our Calamities the Councellor of our Doubts the Clarity of our Minds the Remission of our Thoughts and the Improvement of whatever we meditate Virtue Learning and Abilities may be despised only Friendship is known to be so useful and profitable that none can despise it He that doth a base thing in Zeal to his Friend burns the Golden thread that ties their Hearts together The greatest Bond and Demonstration of Real Friendship is to chuse to have his Friend advanced in Honour in Reputation in the Opinion of Wit or Learning before himself Certainly Friendship is the greatest Bond in the World which is the Marriage of Souls It hath no other Measures but its own being it self as great as can be express'd Beyond Death it cannot go to Death it may Friendship being the greatest Bravery and Ingenuity in the World He is to be chosen to my Friend who is most Worthy and most Excellent in himself not he that can do most good to me Chuse to your Friend him that is wise good secret ingenious and honest all which are the very food of Friendship He is only fit to be my Friend that can give me Councel or defend my Cause or guide me Right or relieve my Needs or can and will when I need it do me Good Comfort me in my Sorrows be pleasant to me in private and useful in publick that makes my Joy double and divides my Grief between himself and me Thus is Friendship the best thing in the World and were it not for Pleasure and Profit there were no need of Friends Never accuse your Friend nor believe him that doth He that is angry for every slight Fault breaks the Bonds of Friendship He may be weak and thou may'st need pardon as well as he for thou doest not Contract with an Angel when thou tak'st a Friend into thy Bosom to whom give Counsel wisely and charitably in all that is prudent useful and necessary but leave him to his Liberty without Anger if thy Councel be rejected for Advice is no Empire Love to be with him Treat him Nobly Do to himall that is worthy of Love Bear with his Infirmities Give him Gifts and upbraid him not Admonish your Friend without Bitterness or Reproach praise him with worthy purposes just Causes and friendly Endearments for he is not my Friend who will be my Judge whether I will or no. Never be a Judge between two Friends in a matter where both set their heart upon the Victory For