as_o a_o instrument_n of_o her_o enlargement_n concur_v to_o prevent_v she_o two_o or_o three_o of_o our_o observation_n while_o she_o relate_v this_o unto_o we_o we_o can_v but_o mind_v the_o reader_n of_o 1._o that_o have_v lie_v so_o long_o as_o the_o narrative_a mention_v under_o such_o â—error_n of_o soul_n and_o have_v now_o new_o receive_v her_o enlargement_n she_o be_v so_o fill_v with_o admiration_n at_o the_o exceed_a riches_n of_o the_o grace_n of_o god_n in_o her_o deliverance_n as_o that_o it_o many_o time_n stop_v her_o spirit_n for_o a_o considerable_a season_n and_o she_o can_v in_o all_o appearance_n have_v dwell_v long_o between_o sentence_n and_o sentence_n in_o a_o secret_a inward_a silent_a lift_v up_o of_o her_o soul_n to_o god_n in_o thanksgiving_n 2._o we_o observe_v very_o much_o faithfulness_n and_o tenderness_n of_o soul_n in_o her_o faithfulness_n in_o that_o she_o dwell_v as_o long_o upon_o and_o speak_v as_o large_o to_o the_o dark_a passage_n of_o her_o blaspheme_a god_n and_o malign_v his_o people_n though_o doubtless_o the_o remember_v of_o such_o thing_n be_v with_o grief_n of_o soul_n to_o she_o as_o in_o speak_v to_o the_o high_a manifestation_n of_o the_o grace_n of_o god_n in_o her_o present_a enjoyment_n of_o her_o soul_n express_v herself_o to_o the_o same_o effect_n with_o the_o apostle_n rom._n 5.20_o where_o sin_n abound_v grace_n do_v much_o more_o abound_v tenderness_n in_o that_o with_o very_a much_o circumspection_n she_o endeavour_v to_o keep_v even_o to_o a_o tittle_n both_o to_o the_o matter_n and_o method_n of_o god_n deal_v with_o she_o and_o if_o at_o any_o time_n she_o or_o any_o else_o who_o know_v she_o in_o her_o afflict_a estate_n and_o endeavour_v to_o help_v her_o memory_n slip_v she_o will_v present_o correct_v both_o herself_o and_o they_o and_o state_n the_o matter_n aright_o and_o in_o its_o place_n before_o she_o will_v let_v it_o pass_v 3._o that_o her_o rejoice_v be_v mix_v with_o much_o holy_a fear_n and_o tremble_a still_o esteem_v herself_o as_o a_o poor_a worm_n before_o the_o mighty_a god_n of_o israel_n though_o exalt_v to_o many_o glorious_a privilege_n through_o his_o rich_a grace_n we_o may_v speak_v further_o what_o we_o observe_v of_o the_o crafty_a wile_n of_o satan_n in_o the_o manner_n of_o his_o work_n with_o her_o poor_a soul_n first_o train_v she_o on_o from_o sin_n to_o sin_n and_o from_o degree_n to_o degree_n still_o forestalling_a she_o with_o a_o persuasion_n that_o she_o be_v already_o both_o in_o the_o sin_n and_o in_o the_o degree_n which_o he_o will_v train_v she_o into_o and_o when_o by_o that_o slight_a he_o have_v get_v she_o further_o on_o then_o persuade_v she_o that_o she_o have_v out-sinned_n all_o grace_n so_o endeavour_v to_o destroy_v all_o hope_n and_o indeed_o this_o be_v our_o common_a observation_n of_o the_o work_n of_o satan_n to_o wit_n that_o to_o person_n that_o be_v in_o a_o wretched_a state_n and_o insensible_a thereof_o he_o 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in_o this_o place_n only_o give_v thou_o notice_n that_o when_o she_o be_v in_o the_o high_a revelation_n and_o have_v the_o most_o seal_a testimony_n of_o the_o grace_n of_o god_n to_o her_o soul_n she_o be_v then_o lead_v forth_o most_o affectionate_o to_o own_o the_o lord_n jesus_n in_o that_o despise_a ordinance_n and_o appointment_n of_o he_o as_o may_v be_v see_v more_o at_o large_a in_o the_o narrative_a itself_o suitable_a to_o that_o word_n give_v to_o paul_n after_o his_o great_a revelation_n of_o grace_n act._n 22.16_o where_o it_o be_v say_v unto_o he_o by_o the_o spirit_n and_o now_o why_o tarry_v thou_o arise_v and_o be_v baptise_a and_o wash_v away_o thy_o sin_n call_v on_o the_o name_n of_o the_o lord_n what_o we_o shall_v further_o say_v in_o this_o matter_n shall_v be_v only_o to_o signify_v that_o upon_o the_o whole_a she_o desire_v to_o give_v up_o herself_o to_o the_o lord_n to_o walk_v in_o all_o his_o commandment_n blamelesse_o and_o to_o have_v fellowship_n and_o communion_n with_o his_o people_n in_o the_o exercise_n of_o all_o the_o gospel-priviledge_n institute_v by_o christ_n their_o king_n and_o head_n for_o his_o body_n the_o church_n and_o particular_o with_o this_o congregation_n to_o watch_v and_o be_v watch_v over_o by_o they_o she_o be_v with_o universal_a satisfaction_n accept_v and_o according_o baptise_a and_o receive_v many_o fierce_a assault_n have_v the_o enemy_n of_o her_o peace_n make_v against_o she_o since_o the_o chain_n of_o her_o bondage_n be_v break_v but_o against_o all_o the_o lord_n have_v make_v very_o gracious_a provision_n through_o the_o word_n bring_v home_n through_o the_o power_n of_o his_o spirit_n many_o full_a promise_n to_o her_o soul_n and_o establish_v she_o through_o they_o to_o the_o god_n of_o peace_n who_o through_o his_o own_o rich_a and_o free_a love_n after_o many_o year_n horror_n of_o soul_n be_v become_v her_o peace_n do_v we_o desire_v to_o commit_v all_o his_o choose_a vessel_n to_o honour_n for_o his_o call_n in_o his_o season_n unto_o and_o for_o his_o establish_n and_o growth_n of_o those_o that_o be_v call_v in_o the_o truth_n as_o it_o be_v in_o jesus_n which_o jesus_n we_o desire_v to_o own_o as_o our_o king_n our_o crown_n and_o hope_v of_o glory_n and_o to_o who_o appear_v with_o that_o glorious_a kingdom_n we_o desire_v to_o be_v daily_o better_a prepare_v that_o at_o his_o come_n we_o may_v have_v the_o honour_n to_o be_v of_o that_o bless_a number_n that_o shall_v wait_v upon_o he_o with_o hallelujah_n sing_v forth_o praise_n glory_n and_o honour_n to_o the_o father_n and_o to_o the_o lamb_n for_o ever_o and_o ever_o amen_n your_o friend_n and_o brethren_n in_o the_o hope_n of_o the_o gospel_n hen._n parson_n jo._n owen_n jam._n hill_n 1658._o the_o captive_n take_v from_o the_o strong_a or_o a_o true_a relation_n of_o the_o gracious_a release_n of_o mistress_n deborah_n huish_n by_o the_o arm_n of_o the_o almighty_a from_o under_o the_o power_n of_o the_o tempter_n by_o who_o fiery_a conflict_n she_o have_v be_v sore_o vex_v for_o about_o fourteen_o year_n as_o it_o be_v faithful_o write_v from_o her_o own_o mouth_n etc._n etc._n about_o fourteen_o year_n ago_o i_o be_v cast_v into_o deep_a despair_n by_o reason_n of_o blasphemous_a thought_n cast_v into_o my_o mind_n when_o i_o be_v apply_v myself_o to_o the_o read_v the_o word_n of_o the_o lord_n which_o thought_n be_v despise_v slight_a and_o contemn_v god_n his_o word_n work_n and_o way_n with_o which_o be_v frequent_o assault_v i_o come_v to_o gather_v conclusion_n that_o god_n have_v past_o a_o irrecoverable_a decree_n against_o i_o for_o my_o final_a condemnation_n and_o though_o i_o have_v reluctancy_n in_o my_o heart_n against_o such_o thought_n yet_o many_o time_n i_o do_v give_v my_o consent_n to_o they_o and_o approve_v of_o they_o and_o from_o thence_o come_v to_o have_v great_a horror_n seize_v upon_o i_o for_o many_o day_n and_o night_n after_o cause_v i_o to_o conclude_v these_o to_o be_v but_o the_o forerunner_n of_o that_o great_a destruction_n from_o the_o lord_n which_o i_o judge_v be_v prepare_v for_o i_o and_o such_o thought_n as_o these_o at_o first_o be_v continual_o almost_o bear_v in_o with_o great_a weight_n upon_o my_o soul_n about_o which_o time_n my_o sister_n anne_n vernon_n then_o huish_n observe_v my_o deject_a frame_n desire_v to_o know_v the_o cause_n i_o tell_v she_o then_o that_o god_n have_v reject_v i_o for_o my_o blasphemous_a thought_n i_o have_v conceive_v against_o he_o worse_o than_o any_o devil_n but_o my_o sister_n endeavour_v to_o persuade_v i_o these_o thought_n be_v not_o i_o but_o the_o devil_n be_v this_o give_v i_o some_o respite_n for_o a_o little_a time_n burr_n i_o be_v sudden_o assault_v again_o and_o
that_o he_o shall_v speak_v then_o be_v my_o heart_n lift_v up_o bless_v the_o lord_n for_o that_o plenteous_a redemption_n which_o he_o have_v let_v i_o see_v in_o christ_n according_a to_o that_o word_n 103._o word_n psalm_n 103._o bless_v he_o with_o who_o there_o be_v such_o plentiful_a redemption_n to_o redeem_v israel_n from_o all_o his_o iniquity_n who_o crow_v we_o with_o love_a kindness_n etc._n etc._n and_o who_o have_v bless_v we_o with_o all_o spiritual_a blessing_n in_o christ_n have_v raise_v we_o and_o make_v we_o sit_v together_o in_o heavenly_a place_n in_o christ_n that_o in_o the_o age_n to_o come_v he_o may_v show_v what_o be_v the_o exceed_a riches_n of_o his_o grace_n in_o his_o kindness_n towards_o we_o in_o christ_n who_o have_v deliver_v we_o from_o the_o kingdom_n of_o darkness_n and_o have_v translate_v we_o into_o the_o kingdom_n of_o his_o dear_a son_n i_o have_v also_o some_o precious_a meditation_n upon_o that_o great_a deliverance_n i_o have_v by_o jesus_n christ_n from_o the_o dominion_n of_o sin_n satan_n and_o that_o great_a bondage_n of_o all_o to_o be_v in_o a_o natural_a condition_n and_o that_o christ_n have_v purchase_v perfect_a liberty_n and_o freedom_n so_o that_o i_o be_v now_o make_v free_a indeed_o and_o make_v a_o partaker_n of_o the_o inheritance_n of_o the_o saint_n in_o light_n yet_o after_o all_o this_o assault_n her_o eight_o assault_n i_o be_v again_o sore_o assault_v and_o tempt_v to_o have_v low_a undervalue_a thought_n of_o the_o grace_n of_o god_n as_o if_o it_o be_v but_o a_o poor_a low_a thing_n as_o also_o to_o blaspheme_v against_o god_n but_o the_o lord_n do_v gracious_o make_v i_o to_o cry_v to_o he_o for_o his_o assistance_n to_o cause_v my_o soul_n to_o resist_v the_o devil_n and_o loath_a and_o abominate_a his_o filthy_a suggestion_n that_o so_o i_o may_v not_o dishonour_v he_o by_o harken_v or_o consent_v thereto_o see_v he_o have_v promise_v he_o will_v never_o leave_v i_o nor_o forsake_v i_o that_o he_o will_v now_o make_v good_a his_o word_n in_o which_o he_o have_v cause_v i_o to_o trust_v and_o by_o these_o and_o many_o other_o promise_n he_o enable_v i_o to_o plead_v with_o he_o who_o have_v say_v he_o will_v save_v to_o the_o utmost_a and_o will_v tread_v down_o satan_n under_o soot_n short_o and_o that_o the_o gate_n of_o hell_n shall_v not_o prevail_v against_o i_o all_o which_o i_o plead_v earnest_o with_o he_o that_o he_o will_v still_o cause_v i_o to_o experience_n the_o truth_n of_o this_o his-word_n in_o which_o he_o have_v make_v my_o soul_n to_o hope_v and_o at_o length_n through_o his_o rich_a grace_n i_o be_v enable_v to_o say_v to_o his_o praise_n that_o he_o be_v indeed_o a_o god_n that_o do_v never_o leave_v nor_o forsake_v they_o that_o trust_v in_o he_o but_o do_v keep_v covenant_n and_o mercy_n for_o ever_o in_o that_o he_o have_v vanquish_v the_o devil_n and_o cause_v i_o to_o rely_v on_o himself_o by_o give_v i_o faith_n in_o that_o precious_a promise_n that_o he_o will_v not_o break_v the_o bruise_a reed_n till_o he_o have_v bring_v forth_o judgement_n unto_o victory_n so_o that_o in_o the_o sense_n of_o his_o never_o fail_v nor_o forsake_v i_o my_o soul_n be_v make_v now_o great_o to_o rejoice_v satan_n further_a assault_v from_o satan_n the_o second_o day_n at_o evening_n i_o have_v many_o fiery_a dart_n and_o filthy_a suggestion_n of_o satan_n cast_v into_o i_o which_o be_v exceed_v terrible_a unto_o i_o and_o be_v bear_v in_o with_o such_o violence_n as_o though_o the_o devil_n strive_v with_o all_o his_o might_n to_o cause_v i_o to_o cast_v off_o my_o hope_n that_o i_o have_v in_o god_n urge_v i_o to_o blaspheme_v god_n and_o to_o think_v mean_o and_o low_o of_o the_o grace_n of_o god_n which_o cause_v in_o i_o great_a fear_n but_o the_o lord_n of_o his_o grace_n do_v not_o so_o leave_v i_o as_o to_o suffer_v i_o to_o cast_v off_o my_o confidence_n but_o great_a be_v my_o fear_n lest_o i_o shall_v be_v leave_v to_o dishonour_v he_o by_o unbelief_n after_o i_o have_v profess_v such_o hope_n in_o he_o and_o thereby_o also_o shall_v wound_v the_o peace_n of_o my_o own_o soul_n i_o also_o consider_v that_o if_o i_o shall_v continue_v in_o this_o condition_n my_o life_n will_v be_v a_o burden_n to_o i_o and_o i_o shall_v have_v cause_n to_o repent_v of_o the_o profession_n i_o have_v make_v of_o my_o hope_n in_o god_n think_v what_o a_o great_a dishonour_n this_o will_v be_v to_o his_o name_n and_o gospel_n and_o cause_n of_o stumble_v to_o they_o who_o have_v hear_v i_o profess_v my_o hope_n cause_v they_o to_o dishonour_v he_o also_o but_o the_o lord_n do_v help_v i_o through_o his_o grace_n to_o fly_v to_o he_o as_o my_o strong_a refuge_n with_o secret_a breathe_n in_o my_o soul_n that_o he_o will_v not_o deliver_v i_o up_o to_o the_o will_n of_o my_o enemy_n but_o he_o will_v now_o remember_v his_o good_a word_n in_o which_o he_o have_v cause_v i_o to_o hope_n that_o those_o that_o come_v to_o he_o he_o will_v in_o no_o wise_a cast_n out_o but_o save_v to_o the_o utmost_a tread_v down_o satan_n under_o the_o foot_n of_o such_o and_o i_o beg_v that_o he_o will_v open_v and_o enlarge_v my_o strait_a heart_n that_o my_o mouth_n may_v speak_v of_o his_o goodness_n to_o the_o praise_n of_o his_o name_n and_o the_o lord_n do_v cause_v my_o soul_n again_o to_o experience_n his_o faithfulness_n that_o he_o be_v a_o god_n that_o keep_v covenant_n and_o mercy_n for_o ever_o and_o he_o do_v gracious_o cause_v the_o devil_n to_o fly_v and_o give_v great_a enlargement_n to_o my_o soul_n consider_v how_o great_o it_o be_v straiten_v and_o make_v i_o able_a to_o speak_v to_o his_o praise_n and_o do_v by_o his_o good_a spirit_n bring_v these_o thing_n to_o my_o remembrance_n which_o i_o be_v not_o able_a to_o think_v of_o before_o and_o be_v again_o enable_v to_o believe_v through_o his_o grace_n that_o he_o be_v a_o god_n that_o will_v keep_v truth_n for_o ever_o and_o that_o no_o soul_n that_o trust_v in_o he_o shall_v be_v desolate_a so_o that_o my_o soul_n be_v now_o make_v to_o say_v 146.5_o say_v psalm_n 146.5_o bless_a be_v the_o man_n that_o have_v the_o god_n of_o jacob_n for_o his_o help_n who_o hope_n be_v in_o the_o lord_n his_o god_n which_o make_v the_o heaven_n the_o earth_n the_o sea_n and_o all_o that_o be_v in_o they_o and_o who_o keep_v truth_n for_o ever_o with_o they_o that_o fear_v he_o bless_a be_v his_o name_n i_o have_v be_v since_o ponder_v further_o the_o duty_n of_o baptism_n aforesaid_a and_o have_v at_o some_o time_n much_o clearness_n in_o it_o as_o a_o duty_n yet_o doubt_n and_o question_n have_v be_v cast_v into_o my_o mind_n about_o it_o and_o thus_o i_o remain_v debate_v it_o in_o my_o own_o thought_n and_o consult_v scripture_n about_o it_o until_o the_o twenty_o day_n of_o this_o eleven_o month_n at_o night_n at_o which_o time_n i_o be_v set_v upon_o with_o terrible_a suggestion_n about_o the_o lowness_n and_o meanness_n of_o it_o be_v much_o tempt_v to_o despise_v and_o slight_v it_o which_o when_o i_o have_v consider_v cause_v great_a fear_n and_o faint_a in_o i_o lest_o i_o shall_v in_o my_o heart_n consent_n to_o those_o suggestion_n and_o thereby_o hinder_v my_o obedience_n to_o the_o lord_n as_o aforesaid_a and_o i_o be_v enable_v to_o lift_v up_o my_o soul_n to_o the_o lord_n for_o help_v at_o this_o time_n against_o these_o suggestion_n and_o temptation_n that_o i_o may_v resist_v they_o and_o the_o lord_n enable_v i_o now_o to_o consider_v that_o no_o command_n of_o christ_n be_v to_o be_v account_v low_a or_o small_a consider_v also_o i_o owe_v all_o service_n and_o obedience_n to_o the_o lord_n both_o as_o i_o be_v his_o creature_n but_o more_o especial_o as_o i_o be_v redeem_v by_o he_o so_o marvellous_o as_o i_o have_v be_v and_o with_o so_o great_a a_o price_n as_o the_o blood_n of_o jesus_n i_o also_o think_v what_o a_o sad_a condition_n adam_n bring_v all_o his_o posterity_n into_o by_o disobedience_n at_o first_o in_o but_o eat_v a_o apple_n which_o be_v forbid_v as_o also_o what_o a_o poor_a creature_n man_n be_v and_o how_o unfit_a unworthy_a and_o unbecoming_a it_o be_v for_o he_o to_o be_v dispute_v with_o his_o creator_n who_o may_v do_v with_o all_o of_o we_o as_o the_o potter_n with_o his_o clay_n make_v or_o mar_v we_o at_o his_o pleasure_n and_o what_o a_o proud_a presumptuous_a creature_n i_o be_v to_o suffer_v such_o a_o thing_n to_o enter_v into_o my_o thought_n that_o any_o of_o his_o command_n shall_v be_v dispute_v or_o think_v by_o i_o to_o be_v low_a or_o contemptible_a which_o i_o look_v on_o
this_o late_o redeem_v captive_a and_o other_o precious_a one_o to_o admire_v the_o riches_n of_o god_n infinite_a grace_n and_o say_v as_o in_o rom._n 11.33_o o_o the_o depth_n of_o the_o riches_n both_o of_o the_o wisdom_n and_o knowledge_n of_o god_n how_o unsearchable_a be_v his_o judgement_n and_o his_o way_n past_o find_v out_o and_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n may_v hereby_o be_v help_v to_o put_v some_o check_n to_o their_o own_o trouble_a thought_n at_o least_o so_o far_o as_o not_o to_o make_v they_o as_o be_v too_o usual_a the_o rule_n and_o measure_n of_o those_o infinite_a transcendent_a thought_n and_o way_n of_o god_n towards_o they_o and_o true_o the_o bring_v forth_o of_o such_o a_o glorious_a work_n as_o this_o out_o of_o such_o a_o barren_a womb_n of_o apprehend_a impossibility_n when_o even_a faith_n hope_n and_o heart_n of_o the_o strong_a fail_v concern_v it_o i_o can_v but_o think_v be_v give_v in_o at_o such_o a_o season_n to_o raise_v our_o faith_n and_o hope_n 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be_v quiet_a in_o the_o land_n and_o yet_o be_v subject_a to_o say_v as_o in_o jer._n 50.7_o they_o offend_v not_o etc._n etc._n yea_o some_o of_o zions_n pretend_a lover_n raise_v and_o lift_v up_o it_o be_v to_o be_v fear_v too_o high_o by_o she_o be_v deal_v unkind_o with_o she_o and_o that_o under_o high_a pretence_n of_o real_a affection_n to_o the_o name_n and_o cause_n of_o god_n and_o interest_n of_o his_o people_n as_o in_o isai_n 66.5_o say_v let_v the_o lord_n be_v glorify_v etc._n etc._n all_o so_o much_o involve_v in_o our_o late_a public_a transaction_n but_o now_o almost_o all_o give_v up_o into_o the_o hand_n of_o those_o that_o hate_n reproach_n and_o scorn_v they_o which_o be_v a_o sad_a cause_n of_o lamentation_n and_o o_o that_o it_o may_v lie_v with_o due_a sense_n upon_o the_o heart_n of_o all_o zions_n mourner_n to_o spread_v before_o the_o lord_n as_o a_o lamentation_n and_o more_o especial_o the_o cause_n of_o it_o some_o of_o which_o be_v mention_v as_o i_o judge_v lament_v 1.8_o 9_o jerusalem_n have_v grievous_o sin_v etc._n etc._n that_o so_o we_o may_v be_v lead_v thereby_o to_o the_o cure_n which_o i_o fear_v we_o much_o want_n as_o they_o of_o old_a jer._n 8.6_o they_o speak_v not_o aright_o no_o man_n repent_v he_o of_o his_o wickedness_n say_v what_o have_v i_o do_v ah_o the_o lord_n have_v yet_o a_o work_n to_o do_v on_o mount_n zion_n before_o the_o rod_n can_v will_v be_v remove_v as_o in_o isa_n 10.12_o wherefore_o it_o shall_v come_v to_o pass_v that_o when_o the_o lord_n have_v perform_v his_o whole_a work_n upon_o mount_n zion_n and_o on_o jerusalem_n etc._n etc._n and_o be_v that_o do_v judgement_n will_v soon_o return_v to_o righteousness_n and_o all_o the_o upright_a in_o heart_n shall_v follow_v it_o but_o allude_v to_o the_o act_n 26.8_o i_o will_v yet_o say_v why_o shall_v it_o be_v think_v a_o thing_n incredible_a that_o god_n shall_v raise_v the_o dead_a consider_v what_o he_o have_v do_v in_o this_o late_a captive_n case_n and_o what_o be_v prophesy_v and_o promise_v he_o will_v do_v more_o public_o in_o the_o most_o needful_a season_n isai_n 5.9_o from_o the_o first_o to_o the_o sixteenth_o much_o our_o case_n as_o thou_o may_v read_v at_o leisure_n and_o yet_o his_o cure_n reach_v it_o mention_v in_o v._n 17._o compare_v also_o isa_n 51.3_o where_o he_o have_v promise_v to_o comfort_n zion_n with_o all_o she_o waste_v place_n etc._n etc._n and_o in_o v._o 22_o 23._o thus_o say_v thy_o lord_n the_o lord_n and_o thy_o god_n that_o plead_v the_o cause_n of_o his_o people_n behold_v i_o have_v take_v out_o of_o thy_o hand_n the_o cup_n of_o tremble_a even_o the_o dregs_o of_o the_o cup_n of_o my_o fury_n thou_o shall_v no_o more_o drink_v it_o again_o but_o i_o will_v put_v it_o into_o the_o hand_n of_o they_o that_o afflict_v thou_o etc._n etc._n and_o many_o other_o precious_a word_n of_o the_o like_a import_n which_o i_o shall_v not_o mention_v here_o be_v well_o consider_v do_v afford_v we_o 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day_n call_v to_o that_o duty_n yet_o can_v but_o rejoice_v in_o this_o great_a deliverance_n wrought_v for_o this_o poor_a soul_n hope_v and_o long_v for_o the_o remain_a deliverance_n purchase_v for_o and_o promise_v to_o whole_a zion_n which_o the_o lord_n hasten_v in_o his_o time_n even_o so_o amen_o w._n allen_n sand_n in_o devon_n the_o second_o day_n of_o the_o first_o month_n 1657._o to_o every_o true_a mourner_n over_o his_o own_o and_o zion_n sin_n and_o sorrow_n especial_o to_o such_o in_o the_o church_n of_o christ_n in_o ireland_n to_o who_o the_o soul-sinking_a sorrow_n of_o mistress_n deborah_n huish_n the_o subject_a of_o the_o ensue_a treatise_n be_v well_o know_v john_n vernon_n their_o brother_n in_o christ_n and_o companion_n in_o heaviness_n for_o zions_n sake_n wish_v grace_n for_o strength_n in_o weakness_n to_o wait_v still_o in_o weep_v and_z supplication_z until_o the_o time_n of_o refreshment_n shall_v come_v from_o the_o presence_n of_o the_o lord_n amen_n even_o so_o come_v lord_n jesus_n come_v quick_o amen_n belove_a you_o have_v herewith_o bring_v unto_o you_o a_o olive-branch_n show_v forth_o the_o flood_n abatement_n and_o the_o rest_n and_o safety_n of_o the_o soul_n that_o be_v enter_v into_o the_o ark_n of_o god_n the_o ransom_n of_o a_o poor_a prisoner_n out_o of_o the_o pit_n indeed_o in_o which_o there_o be_v no_o water_n which_o will_v be_v i_o know_v the_o more_o welcome_a to_o some_o of_o you_o i_o hope_v only_o to_o the_o praise_n and_o glory_n of_o god_n on_o high_a because_o you_o so_o long_o weep_v before_o his_o heavenly_a throne_n and_o make_v your_o humble_a supplication_n to_o he_o almost_o unto_o faint_v for_o she_o who_o be_v bind_v of_o satan_n so_o many_o year_n yet_o that_o the_o height_n and_o depth_n length_n and_o breadth_n of_o the_o love_n of_o god_n in_o christ_n jesus_n our_o lord_n may_v be_v the_o more_o admire_v of_o all_o and_o magnify_v herein_o and_o this_o monument_n of_o mercy_n may_v remain_v in_o the_o church_n throughout_o all_o age_n towards_o the_o support_n of_o such_o as_o sit_v in_o darkness_n and_o see_v no_o light_n i_o be_o willing_a though_o most_o unworthy_a to_o add_v my_o mite_n towards_o the_o complete_n this_o account_n of_o the_o grace_n of_o god_n extend_v to_o my_o poor_a late_o distress_a sister_n mistress_n deborah_n huish_n who_o be_v now_o make_v rich_a in_o faith_n through_o grace_n and_o the_o wise_a virgin-subject_n of_o this_o ensue_a relation_n to_o the_o truth_n of_o which_o as_o deliver_v by_o she_o with_o much_o fear_n and_o joy_n with_o tremble_v receive_v and_o faithful_o write_v from_o her_o lip_n by_o my_o dear_a
remember_v after_o my_o sickness_n in_o dublin_n aforemention_v what_o fretful_a hateful_a thought_n i_o have_v of_o god_n say_v in_o my_o mind_n i_o will_v do_v this_o or_o that_o in_o despite_n of_o god_n and_o i_o can_v not_o think_v otherwise_o and_o such_o a_o hateful_a bent_n of_o spirit_n i_o have_v against_o the_o lord_n that_o i_o be_v oft_o ready_a to_o say_v in_o my_o heart_n i_o will_v curse_v god_n and_o die_v and_o at_o last_o through_o the_o strength_n of_o temptation_n i_o be_v so_o far_o prevail_v upon_o as_o i_o do_v in_o my_o thought_n curse_v god_n and_o all_o i_o can_v think_v of_o that_o belong_v to_o he_o and_o then_o conclude_v myself_o damn_v indeed_o and_o that_o i_o be_v sure_a of_o it_o and_o then_o say_v to_o myself_o i_o be_o now_o sure_o i_o have_v commit_v the_o sin_n against_o the_o holy_a ghost_n which_o be_v unpardonable_a and_o shall_v now_o to_o eternity_n be_v torment_v with_o the_o devil_n and_o his_o angel_n and_o this_o sore_o afflict_a and_o overwhelm_v i_o in_o so_o much_o that_o i_o be_v once_o tempt_v to_o cast_v myself_o down_o out_o of_o a_o window_n to_o kill_v myself_o only_o the_o dread_n of_o hell_n i_o think_v deter_v i_o from_o it_o i_o do_v also_o strive_v to_o put_v horror_n out_o of_o my_o mind_n all_o i_o can_v by_o enjoy_v outward_a comfort_n but_o alas_o these_o be_v all_o embitter_v to_o i_o when_o i_o see_v the_o end_n of_o such_o comfort_n i_o do_v also_o sometime_o endeavour_v to_o divert_v these_o thought_n by_o business_n i_o set_v myself_o about_o but_o be_v sometime_o hot_a at_o work_n i_o shall_v have_v the_o heat_n of_o hell-fire_n thereby_o bring_v to_o my_o mind_n and_o the_o terriblenesse_n of_o that_o represent_v to_o i_o but_o the_o great_a ease_n i_o have_v in_o these_o distract_n terror_n be_v by_o set_v myself_o upon_o business_n but_o find_v myself_o so_o continual_o harrass_v with_o thought_n of_o hell_n that_o my_o heart_n grow_v hard_a and_o stupid_a so_o that_o though_o i_o know_v that_o be_v my_o portion_n yet_o i_o be_v unsensible_a of_o it_o unless_o at_o sometime_o when_o horror_n will_v violent_o break_v in_o upon_o i_o especial_o at_o such_o time_n as_o i_o be_v force_v to_o go_v to_o hear_v when_o i_o still_o expect_v god_n to_o witness_v against_o i_o by_o some_o sore_a judgement_n from_o heaven_n which_o upon_o every_o dark_a and_o stormy_a day_n especial_o i_o expect_v and_o do_v oft_o time_n judge_v i_o see_v flash_n of_o fire_n come_v upon_o my_o face_n put_v i_o in_o mind_n of_o that_o horrible_a pit_n of_o darkness_n i_o shall_v one_o day_n fall_v into_o and_o many_o time_n when_o i_o go_v to_o bed_n i_o have_v be_v afraid_a to_o sleep_v lest_o i_o shall_v be_v cast_v into_o hell_n ere_o i_o wake_v again_o to_o prevent_v which_o i_o have_v oft_o resolve_v not_o to_o sleep_v only_o sometime_o through_o a_o stupid_a senseless_a frame_n i_o shall_v lie_v down_o and_o sleep_v not_o think_v of_o my_o danger_n but_o when_o i_o wake_v i_o wonder_v i_o be_v not_o in_o hell_n yet_o can_v not_o be_v thankful_a for_o it_o but_o still_o think_v i_o shall_v be_v there_o short_o and_o though_o i_o live_v never_o so_o long_o yet_o to_o be_v there_o at_o last_o will_v swallow_v up_o all_o this_o time_n as_o if_o it_o have_v not_o be_v and_o all_o the_o comfort_n i_o now_o enjoy_v will_v but_o aggravate_v my_o sorrow_n and_o misery_n then_o when_o i_o shall_v be_v deprive_v of_o all_o and_o suffer_v for_o what_o i_o now_o enjoy_v upon_o which_o account_n all_o my_o comfort_n be_v bitter_a to_o i_o and_o when_o i_o taste_v any_o thing_n i_o still_o think_v what_o i_o shall_v taste_v ere_o long_o in_o hell_n which_o make_v i_o hardly_o able_a to_o eat_v my_o meat_n for_o i_o shall_v thus_o reason_v why_o shall_v i_o eat_v and_o drink_v when_o i_o be_o in_o daily_a expectation_n of_o be_v cast_v into_o hell_n and_o then_o be_v that_o scripture_n bring_v to_o mind_n 21._o mind_n esa_n 57.20_o 21._o the_o wicked_a be_v like_o the_o trouble_a sea_n that_o can_v rest_v who_o water_n cast_v up_o mire_n and_o dirt_n there_o be_v no_o peace_n to_o the_o wicked_a and_o many_o time_n when_o i_o have_v be_v at_o work_n sudden_a flash_n of_o hell_n have_v be_v as_o it_o be_v dart_v into_o my_o soul_n so_o that_o i_o have_v run_v out_o of_o the_o room_n where_o i_o be_v and_o will_v have_v run_v out_o of_o the_o lord_n presence_n also_o if_o i_o can_v but_o alas_o my_o foul_a have_v no_o refuge_n to_o fly_v to_o from_o he_o nor_o can_v i_o remember_v that_o i_o have_v a_o heart_n so_o much_o as_o to_o seek_v for_o mercy_n only_o in_o some_o great_a distress_n sometime_o i_o think_v i_o have_v use_v the_o word_n lord_z have_v mercy_n upon_o i_o but_o without_o any_o hope_n or_o expectation_n of_o obtain_v what_o i_o pray_v for_o but_o conclude_v god_n will_v not_o save_v i_o unless_o he_o will_v deny_v himself_o and_o his_o word_n and_o though_o a_o angel_n from_o heaven_n shall_v have_v tell_v i_o of_o mercy_n i_o can_v not_o have_v believe_v it_o be_v so_o confident_a of_o the_o contrary_a and_o therefore_o i_o will_v tell_v those_o that_o endeavour_v to_o fasten_v counsel_n &_o comfort_n upon_o i_o it_o be_v but_o a_o cast_a pearl_n before_o swine_n and_o holy_a thing_n to_o dog_n which_o god_n forbid_v and_o when_o several_a good_a woman_n in_o dublin_n do_v meet_v to_o seek_v the_o lord_n on_o my_o behalf_n i_o think_v sometime_o especial_o once_o in_o mistress_n patient_n house_n i_o smell_v brimstone_n burn_v and_o expect_v nothing_o but_o destruction_n in_o the_o sense_n of_o which_o i_o do_v tremble_n exceed_o out_o of_o that_o deep_a horror_n that_o be_v on_o my_o soul_n but_o still_o i_o get_v no_o sensible_a good_a in_o any_o of_o these_o meeting_n and_o when_o i_o have_v see_v the_o mist_n ascend_v sometime_o that_o mind_v i_o of_o that_o scripture_n where_o it_o be_v say_v 14.11_o say_v rev._n 14.11_o the_o smoke_n of_o their_o torment_n ascend_v up_o for_o ever_o and_o i_o have_v oft_o as_o i_o have_v judge_v see_v michael_n meetinghouse_n in_o dublin_n where_o we_o meet_v to_o hear_v full_a of_o smoke_n all_o which_o i_o judge_v seal_v and_o confirm_v my_o destruction_n i_o do_v also_o remember_v when_o my_o dear_a sister_n allen_n die_v at_o dublin_n in_o ireland_n i_o have_v little_a or_o no_o sense_n of_o that_o with_o other_o like_a heavy_a stroke_n of_o the_o lord_n about_o that_o time_n upon_o divers_a other_o precious_a one_o but_o do_v believe_v they_o be_v take_v away_o for_o my_o sake_n because_o they_o pray_v for_o i_o and_o that_o i_o be_v only_o leave_v to_o fill_v up_o the_o measure_n of_o my_o iniquity_n and_o therefore_o the_o lord_n stop_v many_o of_o their_o mouth_n by_o death_n that_o they_o may_v not_o pray_v any_o more_o for_o i_o but_o that_o i_o may_v be_v leave_v to_o heap_v up_o wrath_n and_o aggravate_v my_o misery_n i_o do_v likewise_o remember_v one_o morning_n particular_o at_o dublin_n when_o i_o be_v in_o bed_n and_o call_v to_o rise_v i_o do_v believe_v very_o i_o see_v grievous_a flash_n of_o lightning_n fly_v in_o my_o face_n which_o put_v i_o in_o strange_a honour_n and_o also_o another_o morning_n see_v the_o sun_n rise_v in_o a_o misty_a frosty_a morning_n very_o red_a i_o have_v that_o scripture_n come_v into_o my_o mind_n 2.31_o mind_n joel_n 2.31_o of_o the_o sun_n be_v turn_v into_o blood_n before_o the_o great_a and_o notable_a day_n of_o the_o lord_n which_o i_o believe_v be_v then_o near_o to_o my_o destruction_n another_o time_n be_v at_o a_o christian_a friend_n mistress_n roe_n house_n in_o dublin_n in_o the_o night_n season_n i_o hear_v a_o voice_n as_o i_o judge_v over_o my_o head_n a_o great_a voice_n to_o which_o i_o hearken_v and_o be_v thereby_o put_v into_o great_a horror_n think_v it_o to_o be_v the_o devil_n come_v to_o fetch_v i_o away_o and_o at_o last_o through_o anguish_n of_o soul_n be_v put_v into_o great_a tremble_a and_o sweat_n by_o reason_n of_o which_o i_o speak_v to_o mistress_n roe_n who_o tell_v i_o it_o be_v the_o people_n that_o lie_v over_o my_o head_n that_o talk_v but_o i_o do_v not_o believe_v she_o but_o still_o think_v it_o be_v the_o devil_n and_o towards_o morning_n i_o hear_v a_o rattle_n of_o chain_n as_o i_o think_v which_o i_o judge_v to_o be_v the_o devil_n haste_v to_o fetch_v i_o away_o with_o great_a rejoice_v that_o they_o have_v get_v i_o then_o i_o ask_v mistress_n ree_n what_o that_o noise_n be_v who_o tell_v i_o it_o be_v only_a people_n open_v shop-window_n but_o that_o satisfy_v not_o i_o but_o i_o remain_v still_o
in_o a_o inexpressible_a horror_n i_o likewise_o remember_v the_o cause_n of_o my_o go_v to_o lie_v at_o mistress_n roe_n be_v to_o get_v out_o of_o the_o room_n i_o lay_v in_o at_o my_o brother_n where_o i_o be_v sensible_a i_o have_v so_o sin_v by_o wicked_a thought_n against_o god_n as_o aforesaid_a from_o who_o presence_n also_o as_o well_o as_o from_o that_o room_n i_o will_v if_o i_o can_v have_v flee_v it_o be_v so_o dreadful_a to_o i_o but_o alas_o my_o fear_n be_v not_o at_o all_o abate_v but_o increase_v by_o go_v thither_o it_o be_v the_o house_n where_o the_o church_n meet_v and_o where_o be_v frequent_a speak_v and_o pray_v at_o which_o i_o still_o think_v the_o lord_n will_v come_v out_o and_o witness_v against_o i_o make_v i_o a_o example_n of_o his_o justice_n in_o the_o sight_n of_o all_o his_o people_n who_o often_o speak_v to_o i_o and_o pray_v for_o i_o i_o do_v believe_v will_v aggravate_v my_o condemnation_n great_o and_o when_o any_o of_o they_o speak_v of_o the_o promise_n to_o i_o it_o be_v a_o great_a terror_n to_o my_o soul_n to_o see_v they_o cast_v such_o pearl_n before_o swine_n to_o who_o they_o do_v not_o belong_v by_o all_o which_o thing_n speak_v to_o i_o i_o be_v keep_v in_o a_o more_o certain_a look_v for_o a_o fearful_a fiery_a indignation_n from_o the_o lord_n to_o destroy_v i_o and_o my_o heart_n be_v the_o more_o enrage_a with_o a_o inveterate_a hatred_n as_o i_o judge_v against_o god_n and_o his_o people_n by_o all_o the_o mean_v use_v about_o i_o and_o after_o all_o these_o thing_n come_v to_o waterford_n with_o my_o brother_n vernons_n family_n and_o remain_v there_o i_o have_v not_o the_o like_a terror_n as_o before_o but_o be_v stupid_a and_o more_o senseless_a be_v as_o i_o judge_v give_v up_o to_o a_o sear_a conscience_n and_o heart_n yet_o many_o time_n sore_o terrify_v with_o the_o like_a thought_n as_o aforesaid_a but_o be_v exceed_o glad_a sometime_o that_o i_o be_v forget_v in_o prayer_n as_o i_o think_v and_o then_o do_v believe_v it_o be_v reveal_v to_o they_o that_o pray_v so_o that_o they_o know_v what_o i_o be_v pray_v not_o for_o i_o for_o i_o have_v a_o great_a dread_n on_o my_o heart_n still_o about_o be_v pray_v for_o judge_v it_o hasten_v my_o destruction_n and_o that_o i_o shall_v by_o that_o mean_n be_v make_v a_o fearful_a example_n of_o vengeance_n to_o show_v to_o other_o what_o i_o be_v and_o thus_o it_o continue_v all_o the_o time_n i_o be_v at_o waterford_n no_o word_n speak_v to_o i_o or_o to_o the_o lord_n for_o i_o do_v i_o any_o good_a as_o i_o can_v perceive_v so_o that_o i_o still_o conclude_v god_n can_v not_o lie_v nor_o repent_v therefore_o i_o must_v be_v damn_v and_o that_o it_o be_v but_o in_o vain_a to_o attempt_v the_o contrary_n i_o also_o do_v remember_v when_o we_o come_v to_o sea_n to_o come_v for_o england_n we_o be_v in_o a_o storm_n but_o i_o be_v in_o a_o senseless_a stupid_a condition_n little_o mind_v my_o danger_n all_o the_o time_n and_o after_o my_o brother_n and_o sister_n vernon_n land_v at_o milford_n and_o the_o rest_n of_o our_o family_n with_o myself_o and_o brother_n allen_n be_v come_v to_o sea_n again_o to_o go_v for_o minhead_n in_o a_o night_n and_o a_o day_n we_o have_v a_o very_a gracious_a passage_n give_v we_o bring_v we_o safe_a into_o the_o bay_n of_o minhead_n and_o when_o there_o come_v from_o the_o ship-side_n be_v all_o in_o the_o boat_n we_o have_v also_o a_o eminent_a deliverance_n the_o boat_n be_v in_o great_a danger_n to_o be_v turn_v over_o by_o a_o rope_n that_o be_v catch_v about_o the_o top_n of_o the_o boat_n mast_n just_a as_o we_o put_v off_o from_o the_o ship_n which_o have_v it_o not_o be_v sudden_o lose_v have_v pull_v the_o boat_n over_o and_o bury_v we_o in_o the_o sea_n i_o be_v yet_o under_o all_o these_o mercy_n with_o a_o senseless_a frame_n of_o spirit_n only_o i_o have_v some_o few_o thought_n of_o the_o infinite_a power_n of_o god_n in_o uphold_v all_o thing_n and_o believe_v i_o be_v preserve_v for_o the_o sake_n of_o they_o i_o come_v with_o in_o the_o ship_n but_o come_v into_o the_o town_n of_o minhead_n and_o find_v a_o hand_n of_o visitation_n in_o that_o place_n i_o conclude_v that_o be_v for_o my_o sake_n and_o that_o i_o be_v now_o come_v into_o the_o mouth_n of_o destruction_n yet_o i_o be_v something_o grieve_v to_o see_v the_o profaneness_n of_o the_o place_n and_o house_n where_o we_o be_v which_o be_v as_o to_o sin_v worse_o than_o ireland_n whence_o we_o come_v and_o then_o i_o think_v of_o the_o terrible_a judgement_n of_o god_n against_o sin_n and_o sinner_n that_o live_v under_o such_o rich_a mean_n of_o grace_n as_o they_o here_o in_o england_n do_v but_o leave_v minhead_n and_o come_v towards_o my_o father_n house_n in_o devonshire_n i_o do_v not_o now_o doubt_v though_o i_o have_v speak_v confident_o before_o that_o the_o lord_n will_v never_o let_v i_o see_v england_n nor_o my_o friend_n at_o home_n but_o the_o lord_n will_v bring_v we_o safe_a thither_o yet_o remember_v not_o any_o thankful_a sense_n i_o have_v of_o the_o mercy_n receive_v but_o be_v think_v most_o part_n of_o the_o way_n as_o i_o come_v home_o what_o a_o grief_n i_o shall_v be_v to_o my_o friend_n and_o relation_n again_o yet_o sometime_o a_o little_a sense_n seem_v to_o be_v on_o my_o heart_n of_o the_o mercy_n aforesaid_a as_o i_o remember_v and_o i_o do_v speak_v of_o they_o to_o some_o in_o the_o family_n after_o i_o come_v home_o but_o soon_o after_o i_o be_v in_o a_o dead_a stupid_a posture_n as_o before_o perceive_v no_o good_a to_o i_o either_o by_o speaking_n or_o prayer_n though_o use_v by_o some_o friend_n then_o in_o the_o family_n frequent_o nor_o can_v i_o nor_o dare_v i_o pray_v believe_v my_o prayer_n be_v abominable_a and_o therefore_o when_o my_o sister_n vernons_n hour_n of_o child-bearing_a draw_v near_o i_o can_v not_o seek_v god_n f_o r_o she_o but_o be_v unsensible_a of_o her_o danger_n approach_v and_o after_o her_o delivery_n i_o be_v then_o in_o great_a terror_n than_o before_o think_v then_o that_o god_n will_v bring_v swift_a destruction_n upon_o i_o as_o upon_o a_o woman_n in_o travel_n and_o i_o shall_v not_o escape_v now_o as_o to_o the_o lord_n manner_n of_o work_v on_o my_o heart_n of_o late_a it_o here_o follow_v on_o the_o ten_o day_n of_o the_o eleven_o month_n 1657._o hear_v a_o sermon_n upon_o col._n 3.3_o 3.3_o 3.3_o col._n 3.3_o about_o person_n in_o a_o natural_a estate_n be_v dead_a it_o be_v of_o a_o afrightning_n consideration_n to_o i_o to_o think_v that_o death_n and_o hell_n be_v their_o portion_n and_o that_o worm_n as_o in_o the_o discourse_n be_v mention_v shall_v feed_v on_o such_o even_o that_o worm_n of_o conscience_n that_o shall_v gnaw_v continual_o withal_o consider_v as_o be_v then_o hint_v how_o loathsome_a a_o dead_a creature_n be_v fit_v only_o to_o be_v feed_v on_o by_o all_o other_o devourer_n which_o i_o see_v also_o to_o be_v my_o state_n and_o see_v my_o loathsomnesse_n in_o all_o my_o action_n as_o also_o that_o without_o faith_n it_o be_v impossible_a to_o please_v god_n which_o be_v set_v home_o upon_o my_o heart_n and_o also_o that_o i_o be_v a_o subject_n of_o his_o wrath_n which_o do_v abide_v upon_o i_o &_o so_o shall_v do_v to_o eternity_n yet_o all_o this_o do_v not_o put_v i_o upon_o the_o use_n of_o any_o mean_n to_o get_v out_o of_o my_o condition_n in_o which_o i_o still_o remain_v despair_v of_o any_o way_n for_o my_o escape_n after_o this_o on_o the_o four_o and_o twenty_o day_n of_o the_o eleven_o month_n i_o hear_v again_o from_o another_o subject_n 50.23_o subject_n psal_n 50.23_o psalm_n 50.23_o about_o god_n salvation_n be_v show_v to_o those_o that_o order_n their_o conversation_n aright_o i_o have_v from_o this_o discourse_n many_o fear_n on_o my_o heart_n especial_o from_o that_o oft_o repeat_v scripture_n 119.155_o scripture_n psal_n 119.155_o salvation_n be_v far_o from_o the_o wicked_a because_o they_o keep_v not_o thy_o law_n which_o be_v very_o terrible_a to_o i_o and_o consider_v how_o abominable_a i_o be_v in_o god_n sight_n by_o cast_v his_o law_n behind_o my_o back_n that_o scripture_n be_v much_o on_o my_o heart_n 50.16_o heart_n psal_n 50.16_o what_o have_v thou_o to_o do_v to_o take_v my_o word_n into_o thy_o mouth_n see_v thou_o hate_v to_o be_v reform_v which_o make_v i_o believe_v he_o will_v deal_v with_o i_o as_o be_v mention_v in_o vers_fw-la 22._o of_o that_o psalm_n even_o tear_v i_o in_o piece_n and_o none_o shall_v deliver_v and_o because_o i_o have_v reject_v he_o as_o i_o