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A20370 The mirrour of mirth and pleasant conceits containing many proper and pleasaunt inuentions, for the recreation and delight of many, and to the hurt and hinderance of none / framed in French by that worshipfull and learned gentleman, Bonaduenture de Periers ... and Englished by R.D.; Nouvelles récréations et joyeux devis. English. 1583 Des Périers, Bonaventure, 1500?-1544?; Deloney, Thomas, 1543?-1600. 1583 (1583) STC 6784.5; ESTC S4102 71,485 102

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awaked and taketh his whip that stood by him and yerked the Gentleman to and fro about the house crying ha rée brown bayard dun go what brown hob hob why hay ho ree he so yerked the poore Gentleman ye neede not to aske howe who waked with the yerkes of the whip and instéede of cryinge after his Hawkes he changed his tune and cried out for help saying I am slain but the Carter fetched him to and fro stil about the house vntill at the last the poore Gentleman was faine to get him vnder the table and there couch speake not a worde tarring there vntill the Carter had passed his rage ouer who when he perceiued y t the Gentleman had hidden himselfe set down his whip went to bed and begā to snort like one that had béene in his dead sléep The goodman of the house rose lighted a candell found the Gentleman hidden vnderneath the boordē in such a litle corner as wold scant serue a cat to go in and all his bodye and legs were so painted with lashes as if it had béene the picture of Christ the which surely was a great miracle for neuer after that did he once ryse vp to cry after his Hawkes as before he was wont to doe in his sléepe whereat his Fréends and kindred did much merueile that knew his quallitie but he tould thē what had happened Neuer one man was more bound for another then was the Gentleman to the Carter who had healed him of such an infirmitie as that was ¶ Of the good widowe woman that had a supplication to presente and she gaue it to the Counsellor Fowle THere was a certaine Wydowe Woman that had a matter in law at Paris and thither she went to sée how it went forward wherein she made great labor and diligēce although she did not well know how to do her businesse but she put her trust y t the Lords of y e Parliament would haue respect to her age wydowhod and the right of of her cause Vppon a morning very early sooner then she was wont she did not enter into her garden to gether violets but she tooke her supplication in her hand the which declared of certain iniuries and wrongs that were doone to her late Husbande she goeth withal to y e pallaice against the Coūsellors should come in and went to the first that came in to whome she presented her supplication and he tooke it and in taking of it the good Wife made to him her complaints because he should vnderstand the matter better When y e Counsellour who was for spirituall matters saw and vnderstood by the Wife that they were temporall crimes and faults he sayd to the Wydow good Woman it is not to me that you shuld giue your supplicatiō it must be vnto Maister Counsellour Fowle The good Wyfe not knowing what he meant by Consellour Fowle thought that it should be deliuered to the fowlest and blackest Counsellor because peraduenture she sawe that the first Counsellor was a faire mā and wel made She began to looke vpō the Counsellors one after another to sée which was faire who was foule wherein she was very busie at y e last comes one that was none of the fairest men in the world at the least in the wydows sight because he had a long beard was shauen The good wife thought she had found her man to whome she gaue her supplication and said Sir it was told me y t it must be a fowle Counsellor that must deale with my supplication I haue viewed al those y t are gone in but me think there is none so fowle as you therefore I pray you declare it The Counsellor that vnderstood very well wat she meant thought no ill of the womans simplicitie but tooke her supplicatiō and in declaring it to y e chamber failed not but got the Wydows matter dispatcht ended according to her request ¶ Of the Bastard Son of a noble mā that would haue suffered him self to haue beene hanged in hope to be reuenged and how hee was angry with him that saued his life THere was vpon a time a noble mans bastard whose wisdome was but after a manner for hee thought that euery body should haue done him honour as to a Prince because he ws Bastard to such a noble house And besides this he thought that all the world did know his quallity his birth his name for oftētimes he went straying about the Countreye with a Companie of no great valewe and he would be in all Companies good and bad al was one to him he played away his Horses at all times when he had new giuen him and his apparell by y t way where he went and many times for want of a Horse he was faine to go on foot Vpon a time being left but in all ill plight he passed by the Country of Rouergie cōming toward Fraunce to get him a new Horse and he passed by wood where certaine Théeues had newly slain a man The Prouost Martial that followed vpon the théeues met by chaūce this Bastard clad like a Soldiour of whom he asked from whence he came The Bastarde aunswered him nothing but stubbornly asked what he had to do from whence he came yes said y e Prouost I haue to do and to know art not thou one of those that hath killed yonder man what mā said the bastard thou néedest not aske what man said the Prouost I will make thée tel me others newes or euer thou goest Why what wilt thou do said y e bastard The Prouost made no more to doe but caused him to be apprehended and that was woorse led him away by force going by the way the Bastard saide is it to me that thou hast a quarrell I haue suffered thée all this while the Prouost thinking that he did threaten him with his fellows kept his men about him and led him straight to the next Towne and there condemned him to bee hanged But in asking him what he was and what was his name he aunswered no other thing but I will teach you to know what I am what is my name thou art a hanger of men art thou no force Vpon these threatening wordes the Prouost condemned him carried him out to be hanged made him go vp the Ladder which prouoked the Bastard to great anger saying his death should be the dearest to him of al that euer he hanged in his life When he was a high vppon the ladder there was by fortune amongst the rest to sée the Execution a man of that Countrey which before time had béene at the Court that knew this bastard and because he would be sure he came néerer to the Ladder so that he knewe verily that it was he This man called to M. Prouost saying what will ye doe M. Prouost stay your handes it is such a noble mans son take héed what you do as you meane to aunswere it The Bastard hearing this man
amongst other Companie that did frequent haunt this maried mans house whome I meane not to name was a yong Aduocate who was called the Lord of Beaufort being of the cuntry of Berry who came many times to the Bar to plead the law to which Gentleman this maried mā bare great fauour loue made good chéer because they had béene familliar at y e. Vniuersities and Companions together in many places This Beaufort had not his name in vaine for he was faire of a good behauiour and therfore the yong maried Gentlewoman gaue him a louing looke he likewise to her in so much that in short time by their oftē regards they gaue a token of their secret loue good wills Now the Husband knowing fashiōs showed himself very willing to please his wife specially when things were new not greatly mistrusting his wiues youth neither doubting his fréends honesly contenting himself with the diligent care attendance of Dame Parnet Beaufort in like manner for his part could tell how to behaue himself perceiuing the great familiarity that his freend her Husbande shewed him the gentle gratious intertainement that y e yong wife made him with an outward affectiō which hée thought was more manifest to him then to another as indéed it was true and therfore he found easily an occasion in talking with her to declare the sorrow he conceiued through her loue and because she was brought vp nourished in a house of fame she could y t better vse her self and answere vnto all questions and demaunds To whome Beaufort being pricked forward with a goodwil said in this maner Gentelwoman it is easie enough to a Gentlewoman of a good minde to know the goodwill of a seruant for they alwaies bring in subiectiō and thraldome the harts of men whither they will or no therfore it shall not néede further to expresse declare vnto you y e great affectiō honor that I beare to an infinit nomber of your vertues which are indeed with such gentlen●● of the minde that the man can not otherwyse iudge 〈◊〉 think but that he was borne happy fortunate to ha●● his heart fixed in so good a place for those things that are most precious are not desired but of gentle and noble minds which therfore to me is a great occasiō to praise fortune that hath béene so fauorable as to present and offer me so vertuo●s and worthie a subiect that thereby I might haue the meane to put in euidēce the desire I haue to things precious and of a great valew And although I bée one of the leaste of those whose seruice you meryt deserue yet neuertheles I am thus perswaded that the great perfections that are in you wherat I do wonder will giue occasiō to increase in me those things y t are required to true seruice For as touching my hart it is so faithfully affectioned towards you that it is vnpossible any thing cā be more which I hope trust so to giue you to vnderstand that you shal neuer be displeased in that you haue giuen me occasion to remaine for euer your faithfull trusty seruant The yong gentle womā y t was well taught and sober hearing his pretēce would as gladly haue fulfilled his request as it was required who with a feminine voyce being somwhat bould according to her age to the which commonly Women haue respect being coupled with an honest modest shamfastnesse answered him in this maner Gentlemā although I should haue a will and a desire to loue yet will I not so ouershoot my self as to make another Louer thē he to whome I am coupled ioyned in mariadge wedlocke who loueth me so wel and doth so gently entertaine me that he kéepeth me frō thinking on any other thē on him Furthermore if it should fortune vnto me to set my hart in two places I estéeme iudge your vertue good heart to be such y t you wold not wish me to do any thing y t shal redound to my dishonor As touching the vertues graces that on attribute vnto me I will let thē passe ●nowing no such thing in my self and therfore I restore ●●m to the place frō where they came which is to you ●or now to defend my selfe otherwise would you presume to do that iniurie and wrong to him that putteth so much confidence and trust in you it séemeth to me that such a noble minde as yours is would by no means geue place to such a fact as this And then you sée besides the inconueniences so greatly to let such an enterprise that if you should obtaine your request there is not oportunitie to fulfill the same For I haue alwaies in my Cōpanie a Kéeper so that if you would consent to do euill she hath alwayes her eye vpon me that I cannot steale from her by no means Beaufort was very glad when he vnderstood this answere and specially when he felt that the Gentlewoman stayed her self vpon reasone whereof the first were some what to hard but afore the last y e yong wife did mellify their herselfe to the which M. Beaufort made answere in this order The thrée poincts that you doe alledge Gentlewoman I haue wel wayed and considered but you know y ● two of them depend and consist of your goodwill and the third lyesh in diligence good aduise For as touching the first séeing that loue is a vertue that searcheth out and séeketh the hearts and minds after a gentle nature you must well think that one day you shall lyue first or last the which thing before it be it were better you should receiue the seruice of him who loueth you as his proper life in due houre then to staye any longer to yeeld obey to y e Lord that hath power to make you pay y e interest of the time y t by you hath beene let slyp and to put you into y e hands of some dissembling man y t wold not take such regard of your honor as it deserueth As touching y ● second it is a case that hath béene long voide to thē that find me what loue is for you shall vnderstand for the affection that I beare vnto you so far am I from doing iniurie to your Husbande that rather I do him honor what I loue with a good heart that which he loueth there is no greater shew y e two hearts are at accorde but when they both loue one thinge You know well if he and I were ennemies or if we had not acquaintance one with an other I should not haue oportunitie to sée you neither to speake to you so often as I doe So then the good will that I beare towardes him béeing the cause of the great loue that I beare towardes you ought not to be the cause that you should let me die for louing you Now then as concerning the thirde you knowe faire Lady that to a willing and noble heart
the precept of the Scripture for when I am alreadie prouided what néede I then care for tomorrowe Some saye that it was a Fryer that did hide a Pudding in his Gowne sléeue that he stole at a certaine banquet but all cōmeth to one matter There is yet many prety tales of this Vicar of Brow that are verie pleasant which I wil leaue for others to set foorth ¶ Of a pretie litle man named Terry who being vpon his Mule could not be seene aboue the pommell of his saddle IN the Town of Montpellier there was a young man called the Prior Terry who was of a good stocke and well learned but that he was vnable of his body for hee had a botch on his backe and an other on his stomacke y t did let him to grow so y t he was not aboue a cubit hie Vpon a day hee chaunced to ride from Montpellier vnto Tholouse in companie of certaine his frendes of Montpellier they came to Thuberys to dinner and because yt was in Sommer and that the dayes were longe his cōpany after dinner made no great hast to depart but tarried vntill the heate of the daye was past and also some of them laide them downe to sléepe Wherewith Terrye was displeased and therefore hee caused his Mule to bée brideled in an anger and got vppon his backe saying Now sléepe your fyll for I will be gone So he rode his waye as fast as he could When his companie knewe he was gone not minding to let him goe alone they dispatched as fast as they could after him but Terrye by this time was ridden most part of his iourney Now you shal vnderstand that he caried one of the great Spanish felts to kéepe him from the Sun béeing so broad that it couered almost both y e Mule the man rebating neuertheles somewhat as much as is reason They that followed after him spying a fellow of the Country in a field not far from the high way demaūded if he saw a man on a mule riding towards Narbona The fellow aunswered thent saying No I saw no man but I saw a gray Mule that had a great felte Hat vpon his saddle and he ran a great pace These men began to laugh for they knewe well it was Terrye whose stature was so tall that he could not be séene ouer the saddle ¶ Of a Doctor that blamed Dauncing and of a Gentlewoman that defended the same with the reasons alleadged on eyther part IN the towne of Mauns there was in times past a Doctor of Diuinitie a man of great knowledge singlenes of life And although hee was a Deuine yet was he acquainted with ciuill orders and therin he wuld behaue himselfe very modestlie and wel for which cause he was desired into good and honest companie often times Vpon a day in an assembly of the chiefest principall of the Towne he being of the number there was as it chaunced dauncing after Supper the which he beheld for a time during which dauncing he toke occasion to talk with a Gentlewomā called y e Bayliuisse of Silla a woman who for her vertue modestie and honest behauiour was well estéemed in worshipful and honourable companie verie forward in all thinges that she did and specially in dauncing wherein shee tooke more delighte then in any thing els and hauing spent much time in ciuill communication at the laste they began to talke of dauncing whereof the Doctor said that there is nothing wherein men women were so much ouerséene as in it The Bayliuisse replied to the contrarie saying that no thing did reuiue the mind more then it that the measure in dauncing would neuer enter into the mind of a dull man which doth declare y e partie to be nimble feate of actiuitie to haue measure in his doings there are also said she young folkes that are of so heauie a moolde that you shall sooner learne an Oxe to amble then them to daunce and also you may sée what mindes they haue Of dauncing there commeth pleasure both to them that daunce and to them that looke on And I am of this opinion that if you durst tell the trueth you your selfe take great pleasure to beholde them for there is none be they neuer so melancholy and heauye but will reioyce to sée them foot it so finely with the gesture of their bodie The Doctor vnderstanding what she had said left the termes of dauncing for a time holding this Gentlewoman neuerthelesse with other talke yet not so far from the purpose but that he might fall in hand with the former whē he thought good Within a quarter of an houre after as he sawe occasion offered he demaunded of Mistris Baliuisse if she were standing at a window or vpon a gallerie and should sée from whence she was in some great and broad place a dossen or sixtéen Persons together hād in hand that did leape and skip and turne about going forwarde and backwarde whether she would not iudge them very Fooles Indéed said she if they kept no measure I saye quoth he although they kepte measure and had neither drum flute taber nor minstrell I confesse saide the Gentlewoman the sight would be very vnséemly Why then said the Doctor can a hollow piece of wood or a paile that is stopped at both ends with parchment haue such power to delight your cares which of it selfe seemeth folly and why not said the Gentlewoman know you not of what power musicke is the melodie and pleasant sound of the instrument entreth into the parties minde and then the minde commandeth the bodie which is for no other thing but to show by signes and mouings the dispositiō of the soule in ioye and gladnesse for such men as are sad and sorrowful show a contrarie countenance Furthermore in all places the circumstance and meaning of thinges are to be considered as you your selfe dayly preach A minstrell that should playe to himselfe alone were to be estéemed as a Preacher that should goe into the pulpit to preache without audience the dauncers that are without an instrument are as People in a place of audience without talking wherefore in vaine blame you dancings vnlesse our féet and eares were taken away And I ensure you said she if I were dead and could heare a minstrell I would rise again and daūce They that play at tennys take a great deale more paines to runne after a litle baule of leather stuft with haire and they followe it with such a desire that it séemeth sometymes they would kill themselues they are so eager and yet haue they no Instrumentes of musicke as the Dauncers haue Neuerthelesse they find therein great pleasure and merueilous recreation and therefore Maister Doctor in my opinion moderat mirth discretly vsed and daūcing indifferently practised is rather profitable then otherwyse hurtfull The Doctor would haue replyed but he was compassed about with Women that made him holde his peace fearing they would haue taken him to
nothing is vnpossible iudg then what it is that can escape from two heartes that are subiect to looue which of himselfe is such a Lord that he maketh his subiectes attaine to the thing which they most desire Well to bee shorte Beaufort did so wisely tell his tale that with curtesie she could not well refuse him And their affaires remained in suche case that the young Gentlewoman was ouercome with a voluntarie mind so that there remained no more but to find opportunity and meanes to bring their matters to passe They inuented many waies deuises to attaine their purpose but when it came to the pinche Dame Parnet spoyled al for she had two eyes that were better then al the eies that Argos had which kept Iunos Cowe And for to vse those sleightes that Beaufort had vsed before time was al in vaine for the young womans Husband knewe them all Neuerthelesse hee studied so longe that in the ende he founde one deuise that would serue his turne which was that knowing well that to two willing minds nothing might séeme impossible he disclosed it to a frend of his that was a young Merchant of cloth and not yet married dwelling in a house which his Father had left him not long before béeing at the'nd of our Ladies Bridge whom he had so won to his will that he refused not to giue his consent in anie thing that Beaufort requested And because the Gentlewomās husband was familiarly acquainted with this younge Merchaunt it was the easier to bringe this matter to passe These thinges falling so fit to their purpose they gaue knowledge to the Gentlewoman of their determination and deuise whereunto she willingly consented and promised that the nexte time she wente to the Market shee would passe by that place at what time they might put their deuise in practise And as the Gentlewoman was comming by the house where Maister Henry dwelled for so was the Merchant named beholde there was cast out as the matter was determined before a pale of water that fell vpon the Gentlewoman and it was caste in such manner that all that sawe it thought it had come by some inconuenience and misfortune Alas said she dame Parnet helpe what shall I doe I am ashamed for euer The best for her was to step into M. Henries house béeing her Husbandes frend therefore she said vnto Dame Parnet for Gods sake run home quickly and fetche mee my gowne furred with white Lambe and bring hither I will tarrie for you at M. Henries The olde Woman went her way and the young Gentlewoman wente vp into a Chamber where she found a good fire that her louer Beaufort had prouided for her who deferred not the time but tooke the occasion offered in the pleasure of his longe looked for delight whose matters were dispatched before the olde woman could bring her Gowne French hood partlet and al other thinges that did belong to her The married man béeing at home and vnderstanding y e Dame Parnet was aboue in the chamber who was getting together her trinkets without saying any thing to him for feare he should bée angrie came and founde her aboue asking her what shee made there and where shee had lefte his Wife Dame Parnet declared to him what had hapned that she was come home for other clothes Yea with a vengeance said he suspecting some deceite here is a craftie deuise indéed y t is not yet in my Booke I think I knew all sauing this I am nowe wel serued one vnhappy houre is ynough to make one a Cuckolde get you hence away run with that you haue I wil send the rest by the boy Dame Parnet trotted as fast as euer she could but all too late for M. Beaufort had dispatched and done and when dame Parnet came she perceiued nothing for although the Gentlewoman had a good colour she thought it was through the heate of the fire and so it was but it was with such a fire that no water is able to quench ¶ Of Gyles the Ioyner how he did reuenge himselfe of a Grey-hound that came alwayes beguiled him of his Dinner THere was on a time at Poytiers a Ioyner named Gyles that laboured to get his liuing so well as he coulde hauing loste his Wife who had lefte him a Daughter of the age of nine or ten yeares béeing cont̄t with her seruice and had no other boye nor mayde Hee made his prouision on the Saturday to serue him all the wéeke after and in the morning he would get his little Pot on the fire that his Daughter made to boyle foūd himselfe aswell content with his ordinarie prouision as a richer man would be with his Nowe it is commonly said it is good to haue a neighbour neither too poore nor too rich for if he be poore he will alwaies be crauing beeing not able to helpe thée at néede and if he be riche hee will kéepe thée vnder subiection and thou must be fayne to suffer him and art afraid to borrow of him This Ioiner had to his neighbour a Gentleman who was somewhat too great a Sir for his poore estate and looued hunting verie well And he did vsually kéepe a great company of Houndes in his house to hunt the Hare the which pastime was to bee had not farre without the Towne Amongst all his hounds he had a very faire Greyhound that did many shreude turnes in that Towne for hee would come into euerie mans house the victualles be found he would deuoure ther was nothing for him neyther too hot nor too heauie were it bread béeffe chéese or anie thing else all was one chiefly he did most harme to the poore Ioyner for there was but a wall betwéene the Gentleman and him By the meanes whereof this Greyhound was smelling and séeking about his house at all houres of the day and looke what he found he carried it quite away And also the hound had this subtletie that with his paw he would cast downe the Potte that boiled vppon the fire and would take vp the meate and run his way so that oftentimes the poore Ioyner had but a slender cold Dinner Which thing gréeued him sore for after his labour and paines taken in his woorke hee was beguiled of his Dinner before hee could sit downe at Table And which was worst of all he durst not cōplain but he meaned to be reuenged whatsoeuer should happen Vppon a daye when he spied the Greyhound going to get his pray he followeth after him with a great square troncheon in his hand and he found him busie about his Pot to get out the meat he made no more adoe but shut the gate and got hold on the Greyhound to whō in shorte time hee gaue fiue or sixe drie stripes with his square vpon the backe and spared him not at al and then cast away his square troncheon and tooke vp a small hasell wand in his hand an ell long or there about wherewithall hee