the Bench for a Million of Crowns for then I had lost all hopes of the Royal Blood and eternally ruined my whole interest in England I c â—nfess my continued Intrigues for Indulgence and all the softer methods of insinuation to propagate my Religion but as for those daring adventures of Treason and Regicide they are All your own and therefore I declare in spight of Satan and Salamanca that I knew no more of a Plot against the Life of the King then the Groaning-board Ph. Alas Sir you never yet had an Act of Oblivion and therefore your Parisian and Irish Massacres your Smithfield Fires and your Gunpowder Treason though acted long since are more fresh in memory than my late Murder of Charles the First and if I Swear you Guilty all the Tongues of Men and Angels can't perswade the people that you are Pope INNOCENT Po. Well I do hope that Time or the Gallows will give you Grace to confess the Cheat in the mean time I must tell you that if you had charged me with a Plot of any Honourable contrivance or plausible Perjury I should have pardoned such a meritorious forgery but to bring me upon the Stage in a Fools-coat and Cap to make my Nobles and Priests to act the parts of Bedlams this was a Sham and Effrontery that must be resented You know that the Court of Rome hath been more famous for Policy than Divinity and I have by finess and artifice ruined more Kings than ever you knew and can it be reconciled to common Reason or Interest that we should trust the Arcana of our Roman Empire and those Sacred endearments of Lives and Fortunes to the Mercy and Management of a Company of Banditi Renegadoes and Lazarillo's whose Iniquity and Indigence must certainly betray us Had you told the people that there was a mighty Spanish Armada seen at Anchor on Salisbury Plaines it had been as probable a Romance as your Forty Thousand Pilgrims from Spain And as for the Murder of Sir E.B.G. It fell out unluckily the laying of the Scene in Somerset-house for it looks a little odly that the Thames gliding by the walls of that Palace the Murderers of that unfortunate Gentleman should not in that Critical juncture have endeavoured an eternal concealment of the Murder especially there being at hand so easie and so safe a conveyance to the Thames where with less weight than a Milstone he might have been sunk 'till Dooms-day but the overseeing this ready advantage and the exposing his Body above ground nigh the passage to an Imperial City look'd like Frenzy beyond all the extravagancies and costacies of Bedlam you might as well have reported that I had cut my own Throat or leapt off the Monument And it is a miracle to me how you could gain a belief of so wonderful a Proceeding Ph. Why Sir the very word Pope is Enchantment and hath a prodigious power of Infatuation upon the people of England For suppose I should Invent a Plot as dark and confused as the first Chaos whose Monstrosities could out-do all the Fables of Talmud and Alcoran Allow me but the Harangues of a Presbyterian One-and-Forty-Parliament to Eccho the noise of a Popish Plot and the People would believe it as great a Truth as the Pharisees Conspiracy against Jesus but to conclude this Sir I spoke the Prologue to the Popish Plot before the Parliament at Westminster And at Oxford the King unhappily spoke the Epilogue and so FINIS and FITS-HARRIS Po. But Brother you know that the Good Old Cause which is our Common Interest amounts to no less than a Supremacy over all the Kings of the Earth and that is so Sweet and Glorious a Sovereignty that I hope you will never give over your designs for That fift Monarchy or Kingdom of Christ as you wisely phrase it Ph. Never suspect it my zeal is too warm and obstinate to be discouraged by a Disappointment and as long as my Numbers can merit the name of Legion or Association so long I will have the grace to persevere and therefore having shed a little blood by a falsifying blow but missing my chief aim in the Popish Plot I still pursued the same design only shifting the Scene from Rome to Geneva And now enter Anthony and the Giant Ferguson with Six Trumpeters attended with Forty brave Sons of Anak Arm'd with Sword and Blunderbus followed by a mighty train tyed together with Green Ribbands Now Sir you know that the Saints have diversity of Gifts and difference in Operation My Presbyterian was for destroying the King after the English fashion by the more generous and Religious procedure of a Civil War or the Popular Authority of a High Court of Justice My Independent Zelots were for Killing the King Alamode de France and like your St. Clement and Raviliac resolved upon the surest and shortest method of Assassination Your Jesuit Mariana and My Junius Brutus have resolved the Case that if a Prince invades our Religious Rights or Civil Properties he is by your Divinity and Mine decreed a Tyrant And then we are agreed on both sides that a Tyrant is a State-Behemoth and to kill such a Beast of Prey is not only Justice but Merit What Sainted our George but the killing of a Dragon and when David slew the Lion and the Bear and cut off the head of the Uncircumcised Philistine he was a Hero but no Assassin Po. I grant that if a Prince affront our humour or Interest we have an ancient privilege to censure him for an Her â—tick or a Tyrant But in this Age I dare not own the Consequence of Assassination not that this Modesty proceeds from any nicety of Conscience but Policy and Interest oblige me to dissemble that Grim Divinity And whatever you pretend I know the Duke hath a greater Endearment for his Brother than he hath for the Pope and I do easily foresee that if the King should fall by the hand of a Papist the Duke would in abhorrence of the Fact declare himself a Protestant nothing would appease his revenging mind but a Massacre of the Papists in England or the Ashes of Rome Indeed if I were again Lord Paramount of Christendom and had Crowns for Styrrups and could mount my horse upon the back of Kings as formerly I have done Or if my Numbers in England were as great as yours I should then no more scruple the hard words of Association or Assassination than you do but in my present Circumstances I can only dance in a Court-Mask with Caress and Complaisance But I must leave You to Act the rougher Scenes of Tragedy Ph. Nay I am satisfied that your present temper is but Politick dissimulation for I am certain as long as you are Pope you must be of my opinion in the matter of Princes and so long I will own you for a Brother But if ever you dwindle into a Bishop of Rome and an Apostolick slavery to Crowns Imperial I shall hate your Episcopacy
see that Canting will move a passion as well as a Crucifix but methinks your Charity is very narrow to allow none to be saved but your selves and the House of Commons Ph. You and I may differ in some matters of Faith but I am sure we are Brethren in the measures of Charity for we are both agreed to damn all the world but our selves the only difference is that I am for plain right-down damming but you are for the Ceremonies of Malediction and must Curse with the Superstitions of B â—ll Book and Candle Po. But how can your Conscience dispense with so much profane Burlesque to serve a Popular Interest Ph. I think your Conscience is as well matcht as our Charity your Jesuits first taught me the art of Canting nay and to Cant too upon the very Canticum Canticorum for you know the Virgin Mary is the great Goddess of Rome as the Good Old Cause is the Diana of Geneva and you have been guilty of more Blasphemy in Devotion to the One than ever I Canted in the service of the Other Your Jesuit Poza in his Elucidarium Deiparae lib. 2. p. 477. hath told the world that excepting the Hypostatical Vnion the Conception of the Virgin was more miraculous than that of Jesus and that the Virgin may be called not only the Mother but the Father of Christ p. 485. he would make us believe that her Body had such a perfection of Beauty and Symmetry that her formation was the work of Forty Ages lib. 3. p. 939. and thus the Heavens and the Earth which at most took but six days in framing must be thought the slight and careless dash of Omnipotence but the Creation of the Virgin Mary must be the only Elaborate work and design of Infinite Wisdom And tho' Paul hath told us that we must all be Changed before we can be fitted for that Celestial State yet Poza excepts the Virgin and tells us her Natural Beauty was so Angelical that she shall suffer no Alteration and that God himself can add no greater Perfection to her at the Resurrection of the dead And that her Stature was as prodigious as her Beauty he proves by this Argument The Virgins Smock which Charles the Great Lodged in the Cathedral of Aquisgran at his return from Constantinople A. D. 810. Was more than Two Ells Long and then making allowance for her Head and considering that Sacred Linnen did not touch the Ground and it is as plain as any demonstration in Euclid that she was wonderous Tall. The Beauty of some particular Parts he draws from the Canticles as that her Eyes were of an Olive-green appears from Canticles 7. 4. Thine Eyes are like the Fish-pools in Heshbon Now because the Text is not clear at first sight therefore it is enlightned by an Ingenious Gloss that the Fish-ponds of Heshbon are Green by reflexion of the Verdant Banks and Trees and then 't is as Evident as your Supremacy from Gen. 1. 16. That her Nose was strong and placed true as a Meridian in the Midst of her Face he Learnedly proves from Cant. 7. 4. Thy Nose is as the Tower of Lebanon which looketh towards Damascus That her Lips were of a pure Vermilion is past dispute from Cant. 4. 3. Thy Lips are like a thred of Scarlet That her Teeth were White and Well-set is put past question from Cant. 4. 2. Thy Teeth are like a stock of Sheep that are even shorn which came up from the washing That her Neck was Long and well shap'd is demonstrated from Cant. 4. 4. Thy Neck is like the Tower of David c. Po. You must know that the Italians Spanish and French are Nations of an Amorous Temper and therefore an extravagant delineation of the Virgins Beauty does much contribute to the devotion of that people and what you think Ridiculous in England is Religious in Italy Ph. And what you think Ridiculous in Italy will pass for Religion in England I understand the English Temper as well as you do the Italian and don't question but My Mode of Canting will prevail as much in London as Yours does at Rome if I can procure Stages Po. I do grant that you are well accomplisht in this charming Science and that your Incantations must be effectual upon the Vulgus but what Other Arts have you to propagate the Good Old Cause Ph. That no power may ever cut off the entail of the Good Old Cause we are resolved to give the Covenant to our Children from Generation to Generation as the dying Laplanders bequeath their Familiars and by this politick method We and our Brethren in Lapland shall perpetuate the Succession of Rebellion and Witchcraft Po. This Policy may make the Cause Immortal but what is the reason we have seen so few Popular Pamphlets of late for tho' the times will not allow you to draw the Sword yet your Covenanting hand is obliged to employ the Pen in defence of the Good Old Cause Ph. I know that Seditious Pamphlets are excellent Hand-granadoes and with these I have oft fired the Tinder of the Town and all the Chaff and Stubble in the Country but now I am haunted with Old Nobs the Bellman the Varlet dogs me at every corner and as soon as ever I give fire he flies upon the Squib with his Extinguisher and this is not all the mischief neither for when he spies the first spark he cries fire fire and the Villain has got such a Speaking Trumpet that his voice is heard from Dan to Beersheba and so the Nation is Allarm'd and my designs defeated This is he that Expounded all the Algebra of Algernon and the Riddles of Russell's Speech Po. Pray what is this Nobs Ph. He is Founder of a New Popish Order called Observators and his business is to be the Kings Spectacle-maker for by the help of his Glasses every Poreblind Tory can plainly read my Plots and Intrigues tho' close set in a Geneva Print Po. I have heard of this pestilent fellow and have reason to believe him as much my Enemy as yours and if he be not silenc'd he will do us more mischief than all the Guns in the Tower I wonder you don't plant him upon Primrose-hill or however methinks your Guinny Company might bring over a Couple of Blacks to accuse him for a Roman Censor and Swear they saw my Nuntio pay him a Pension of a Thousand Guinny's Ph. I knew this would be the most Infallible Method to blast his Reputation and therefore I did accuse him of Popery but could not find one Believer in all the Privy Council But I hope the Northern Stars will take the Covenant again in spight of Gadbury and if ever I come to wear the Law by my side and Magna Charta in my Pocket I 'le mount Old Momus upon the top of the Monument he shall dye like himself and hang with the most Vniversal Observation Po. I am convinc'd that it will be impossible
thank you for the caution for I confess I have spoke more affronting words against the King than I dare speak of a Peer Po. But Dukes and Peers apart What hopes have you in a Parliament I know you have been us'd to Worship the Gods of the Valley and if the Numen's of the Lower House deceive you you have nothing to expect but Ruine Ph. It is not long since that I was as much afraid of a Parliament as ever you were of a General Councel for the first discovery of our Conspiracy fill'd the Nation with so much noise and horrour that all my Esquadron Volante of Neuters and Trimmers deserted me and I was forced to live in Chimnies and Grott's and wished my self in Coal-mines and if the King had called a Parliament at That juncture I durst not have appeared in Elections and all my Patriots had such a Panick fear of Carts and Scaffolds that they could not have been perswaded to mount the Chair in that unlucky Crisis but since that storm is so happily blown over I 'm even resolv'd for England again and when the Law of necessity shall oblige the King to Summon a Parliament to cry To your Tents O Israel and if it be in the power of Purse or Perjury I will take such a course that the Blood of the Commons shall be Enquir'd for without giving one Penny to the Crown Po. But do you think the King will ever give you the advantage to sit at Westminster Ph. Alas our Old seat at Westminster is now no great advantage for the True-Protestant part of the City is grown so Tame that they could see their Charter condemned without the Gallantry of a Tumult though the passing that sentence was a greater Judgment than the Plague London has lost her Old brave Cries of Justice Justice no evil Councellors Will you buy any Crown and Bishops Lands The City Trained-hands as the Case stands now would be more ready to Guard the five Members to the Tower than to secure them in the Town My only hope is in another House of One and Forty for Stephens Chappel is as Sacred to me as the Chappel of Loretto is to you It has been Antiently the Shrine of the Good Old Cause and like the Senate-house at Rome it has been Consecrated with the Blood of Caesar Here has been so much Breath exhaled in Popular Harangues that the inner Plaister of the Walls is nothing but Congealed Treason and hence proceeds that Magical power that the very Air of the Old-house has left a Republican Tincture behind it and no Member can escape that Influence but such as are drunk with Elixir Regale I have known several Gentlemen in former times who when they were first chosen Members of Parliament could discourse of nothing but Monarchy and Prerogative but after they had breathed a few months in this Temple of our Diana they returned with as cool and popular a temper as if they had sat in the Stadthouse at Amsterdam But I am much concerned at the decays of this House I am afraid it should presage the declining of the sovereignty of the Commons elsewhere and the ruine of the Good Old Cause and therefore I intend to advise my Representatives to vote the Repair of those dilapidations for fear the walls should drop and Stephen should Stone the Elders But if the Majority of the next house of Commons should be adorers of the Crown and Church I might be ruined by my own precedents for such a House may pack a Tory Committee of Elections and I have taught That Divan in former Times such an Arbitrary way of proceeding that they had got a Trick to Elect and Reprobate whom they pleased without any Appeal from their supreme judgment and so by my own method all my Members would be excluded and not one Saint left in the Sanhedrim but there are so many mischievous consequences of a Cavaliering House of Commons that I dare not fancy the Possibility of such an Assembly Po. Well I see but small hopes of effecting our designs in this Age but pray Study some Arts to keep up the Good Old Cause that it may not sink into its Primitive Nothing but may be preserved in being 'till a more fortunate juncture for as the Good Old Cause can never prosper in England without the Name and Noise of Popery so Popery cannot work without the Fanatick Tools of the Good Old Cause Ph. Never fear I don't question but to continue the Existence of the Good Old Cause as long as you can maintain your Succession to the Triple Crown for I have many Artifices to this purpose Po. Pray let me understand your Arts. Ph. First then in all that Noble Science of Popular Delusion there is not a greater charm than Religious Cant for you know the greatest part of Mankind are most influenced by Passion and Fancy and there are few such Sages as to regard the dull Oracles of Truth and Sobernesses for suppose I should teach my Disciples that the great design of Christianity was to teach the World the serious pursuit of Peace and Holiness and that a holy and peaceable Temper would best serve the quiet of our own Minds the Interest of Society and Government and would be the most Rational Preparation for that Life and Communion of Angels alass Sir such solemn Divinity as this spoken with an Apostolical Gravity would have no more effect upon the Crowd than the Kings Speeches have had sometimes upon the House of Commons but by my Theatrical Arts and Enthusiastick Divinity I can Preach the Throng into Raptures and Extacies and mount their Souls three Stories higher than Pauls and then with One sad Grimace and Lureing Tone make them Stoop in a Moment I can when I please Preach them into Conflagrations of Zeal or Inundations of Tears or howle them into Hurricanes and Storms of Sighs and Groans and all this by a mysterious Screw of the Face and the Eccho's of a Passionate Noise Po. I have heard that you do equal if not excell my Jesuits in this Art of Popular Enchantment pray give me the diversion of a short Essay of this nature Ph. Well then first for the true set of the Face D' you mark the Semicircles of the Eyes the Triangles and Parallelograms of the Mouth and Face Po. Ha ha ha bring your Face to rights again for I shall laugh lowd enough for a discovery But now let 's have a tast of your Canting Ph. Be not troubled in mind to be sad and sorrowful is the sign of an ill-thriving Christian Crying is a Childish trick a Christian out of long Coats would be asham'd on 't Do but wait a while the day is coming when Christ shall play no more at hide and seek with his Saints when all Christs business beyond Sea shall be done When he shall say come Jaylors bring all those my Enemies before me Prelates Malignants Kings Nobles Gentry Po. This Cheat must do I