grieve for your Father since he dyed in the defence of his King and Country Virtue T is true and I glory in his valiant loyal Actions yet I cannot choose but mourn for the losse of his life and weepe upon his death Governess Methinks the greatest cause you have to weep is for the loss of your Estate which the Enemy hath seized on and you left only to live on Charity Poor Virtue I cannot mourn for any thing that is in Fortunes power to take away Governess Why Fortune hath power on all things in the World Poor Virtue O no she hath power on nothing but base dross and outward forms things moveable but she hath neither power on honest hearts nor noble Souls for 't is the Gods infuse grace and virtue nor hath she power or Reason or Understanding for Nature creates and disposes those nor doth she govern Wisdome for Wisdome governs her nor hath she power on Life and Death they are decreed by Heaven Governess And will you weep at Heavens decree Poor Virtue The Heavens decrees hinder not humanity nor natural affection Governess Well ever since your Mother dyed I have governed your Fathers House and pleased him well but since he is kill'd and that there is nothing for me to govern I will take my leave of you and seek another place and I hope fortune will favour me so as to direct me to some Widdower or old Batchelour which desires a comely huswifly woman to order their private affairs Poor Virtue I wish you all happiness and if I were in a condition I would make you a present Exeunt Scene 3. Enter two Gentlemen 1. GEntleman Sir My Lord is so busy since his Fathers Death with Stewards Atturnies and such like about ordering his Estate as I am loath to disturb him but as soon as he hath done speaking to them I will wait upon you to my Lord 2. Gentleman Sir I shall wait my Lords leasure Enter the Lady Ward and Nurse Careful they pass over the Stage 2. Gent. Sir what pretty young Lady is that which passes by 1. Gent. She is a great Heiress and was Ward to my old Lord and he upon his Death-bed charged his Son my young Lord to marry her 2. Gent. Surely small perswasions might serve turn for her Virtue is Rhetorick enough to perswade nay to force affection 1. Gent. Yet my Lord is discontented he would rather choose for himself than that his Father should have chosen for him for it is the Nature of Mankind to reject that which is offered though never so good and to prize that they cannot get although not worth the having 2. Gent. Of what Quality of Birth and Nature and disposition is she of 1. Gent. She is Honourably Born and seems to be of a sweet disposition but of a Melancholy Nature Enter a Servant Servant Sir my Lord desires the Gentleman would be pleased to walk in Exeunt ACT II. Scene 4. Enter the Lady Contemplation and Sir Humphrey Interruption INterruption Lady what makes you so silently sad Contemplation Pardon me Sir I am not sad at this time for my thoughts are merry and my spirits lively Interrupt. There is no appearance of mirth in you for mirth hath alwayes a dancing heel a singing voyce a talking tongue and a laughing face Contempl. I have such merry Companions sometimes but I seldome dance sing talk or laugh my self Interrupt. Where are those Companions I desire to be acquainted with them and keep them Company Contempl. You cannot keep them Company for the place they inhabit in is too little for your Corporal body to enter besides they are so curious choyce and nice Creatures as they will vanish at the very sight of you Interrupt. Why Lady I am none of the biggest sized Men nor am I of a terrible aspect I have seen very fine and delicate Creatures Contempl. But you never saw any of these Creatures Interrupt. Pray where do they dwell and what are their Names I long to visit them Contempl. They dwell in my head and their Sirnames are called thoughts but how you will visit them I cannot tell but they may visit you Interrupt. Faith Lady your relation hath made me despair of an enterview but not a friendly entertainment if you please to think well of me Contempl. Thoughts are free and for the most part they censure according to fancy Interrupt. Then fancy me such a one as you could like best and love most Contempl. That I cannot doe for I love those best which I create my self and Nature hath taught me to prize whatsoever is my own most although of smaller valew than what 's anothers although of greater worth Interrupt. Then make me yours by creating me anew Contempl. That is past my skill but if you will leave me alone I will think of you when you are gone for I had rather of the two entertain you in my thoughts than keep you Company in discourse for I am better pleased with a solitary silence or a silent solitariness than with a talking conversation or an entertaining talking for words for the most part are rather useless spent than profitably spoke and time is lost in listning to them for few tongues make Musick wanting the Cords of Sense or sound of Reason or singers of Fancy to play thereon Interrupt. But you will injure your wit to bury your wit in solitary silence Contempl. Wit lives not on the tongue as language doth but in the brain which power hath as Nature to create Interrupt. But those are aery not material Creatures Contempl. 'T is true but what they want in substance they have in variety for the brain can create Millions of several Worlds fill'd full of several Creatures and though they last not long yet are they quickly made they need not length of time to give them form and shape Interrupt. But there is required Speech to express them or they are made in vain if not divulged Contempl. Speech is an enemy to Fancy for they that talk much cannot have time to think much and Fancies are produced from thoughts as thoughts are from the minde and the minde which doth create the thoughts and the thoughts the fancies is as a Deity for it entertains it self with it self and only takes pleasure in its own works although none other should partake or know thereof but I shall talk a World out of my head wherefore farewel Ex. Scene 5. Enter Poor Virtue and her Maid Nan Scrapeall NAn Scrapeall Now your Estate is seized on you have not means to keep a Servant as to pay them for their service Poor Virtue No truly Nan but that which grieves me most is that I have not wherewithall to reward thee for thy past service Nan Scrapeall I have served you these seven years and have had nothing but my bare wages unless it were some of the worst of your cast Clothes for Mrs. Governess took order I should have none of the best but I hope
with you both Both Long may your Highness live and flourish They kneel to their Father Lord Dorato My blessing on you both Exeunt FINIS THE ACTORS NAMES Sir William Admirer and many other Gentlemen Lady Peaceable Lady Solitary Lady Censurer Lady Examination Lady Bridlehead Lady Kindeling Lady Gadder Lady Faction and a Matron THE COMICAL HASH ACT I. Scene 1. Enter a Company of young Gentlemen and two or three young Ladyes as the Lady Gadder the Lady Kindeling and the Lady Bridlehead KIndeling My Dear Gadder Gadder My sweet Kindeling They imbrace and kiss each other Gentleman Faith Ladyes Nature never made women to kiss each other and therefore 't is unnatural and being unnatural it is unlawfull and being unlawfull it ought to be forbidden Gadder Yes you would have us kiss you men Gentleman No Ladies we men will kiss you women if you please to give us leave Bridlehead You will take leave sometimes Gentleman 'T is when we think we shall not be refus'd or at least not to be disfavour'd for it The Ladies kiss again Gentleman VVhat kissing again faith Ladies you will make us believe by your often kissing that you desire we should kiss you and with that belief we may run into an error if it be an error to kiss a fair Lady Kindeling Fye fye you men are odd Creatures Gentleman No you women are odd Creatures when you are not with us men Kindeling Preethy Gadder and Bridlehead let us go do something to pass away our time Gadder VVhat shall we do Bridlehead Let us go to Cards Gadder Faith I have made a Vow not to play for money Bridlehead VVe will play for Sweet-meats Kindeling No preethy let us play for a Sack Possit Gadder O no we will play for Sweet-meats Kindeling I say a Sack Possit Gadder Let the most voices carry it Gentleman I will speak for the men we say a Sack Possit for that will make us both good Company in the eating the Possit and after 't is eaten whereas Sweet-meats will make us heavy and dull Gadder Well then let us go play for a Sack Possit Bridlehead Faith a Sack Possit will make me drunk Gentleman You will be the better Company Lady Kindling Fye Bridlehead you should not say drunk but your head giddy Gentleman That is better than to be drunk for a giddy head hath a light heel Exeunt Scene 2. Enter two Gentlemen 1 GEnt. The Lord Poverty is a gallant Noble person 2 Gent. They are gallant and Noble that are Rich and titled Honour without Means is like a Body without a Soul 1 Gent. You are mistaken friend it is rather a Soul without a Body 2 Gent. Alas titled Honour without Means to maintain it is despised 1 Gent. If the person hath Merit worthy of his titled Honour that titled Honour is worthy to be respected and bowed to by all inferiour persons nay put the case that Honourable titles are placed upon Unworthy persons yet all ought to give respect to those Titles and to do homage thereunto though not unto the Person yet because it comes from a lawfull and Supreme power as Natural rays of light do from the Sun and those that strive through envy and through spite for to Eclipse the light deserve to be in a perpetual darkness so those that do detract from titled Honours ought never to be honoured with Titles or respect 2 Gent. Why 't is not only I that have no such titles of Honour that speaks against them but those that do possess them and their fore-fathers long before them 1 Gent. They that do so ought to be degraded as being unworthy to wear the badge or mark of their fore-fathers Merits or heroick Acts for they do shew they have none of their own but those that get their own Honours by their own Merits and worthy Actions deserve them best for they like as a clear and glorious day appear for oft-times their posterity like Clouds begot from gross and drowsie Earth strive to quench out their Fathers flaming Honours and by their Baseness obscure the light of their fore-fathers great and glorious Fame and in the end bury themselves in dark Oblivion as vanishing to nothing as being never mentioned nor remembred but those that for their loyalty and their fidelity unto their King and Country have hazarded lives and lost their liberties and Estates and are grown poor for Honesties sake and Virtuous causes yet they in after Ages will live with great renown for 't is not in the power of spite to pull them down for the Gods give Fame to Noble Actions as Kings give titled Honours though men that are base will not relieve them yet Fame will remember them and though base men will rail against them yet Fame will praise them and though they dye with Poverty and should end their lives in a foul Ditch yet shall that Ditch be honoured by their Death more than the rich unworthy man be honoured by his stately Tombs and costly Funerals Exeunt Scene 3. Enter the Lady Solitary and the Lady Examination EXamination What 's the matter with you to day Lady Solitary you look as if you were in a married humour Solitary Why Lady Examination what humour is a married humour Examination Why a masse of ill humours mixt or put together as a lumpish dumpish dull stupid humour or a pievish fretting pining whining humour or a brawling yawling quarrelling scoulding humour or a jealous suspicious humour or a fawning feigning dissembling humour Solitary If these humours are woven into the marriage knot I will never marry for I would be loth to have the peace of my life strangled in discontent for whosoever be subject to these humours can never be happy Examination You will change your mind and rather live with these humours than without a Husband but I am come now to fetch you abroad for their is a Company of sociable Ladyes and gallants that have made a meeting some league of where there will be Mirth Jollity Plenty and Pleasure and they desire you will be sociable for once and go along with them Solitary Would you have the Body which is the habitation of the Mind a wanderer travelling from place to place disturbing the mind with unprofitable journeys Examination No I would have it remove so as it may always situate it self in a wholsome profitable plentifull pleasant and pleasurable place Solitary I perceive you prefer the pleasures of the Body before the delight of the Mind Examination Why the mind can take no delight without the body for the body gives the mind a being and habitation for there would be no mind if there were no body but if there could be a mind without a body yet the mind could receive no delight without the pleasure of the body for the pleasure of the body is the delight of the mind and not the delight of the mind the pleasure of the body for the mind doth never give nor return wherefore come away and leave
of quality But some will say if it would work such effects why are not mercenary Players benefited so thereby I answer that they only Act for the lucre of Gain and not for the grace of Behaviour the sweetness of Speech nor the increasing of Wit so as they only Act as Parrots speak by wrote and not as Learning gives to Education for they making not a benefit of the wit but only by the wit receive it not neither into their consideration understanding nor delight for they make it a work of labour and not of delight or pleasure or honour for they receive it into the memory and no farther than for to deliver it out as Servants or Factors to sell and not keep it as purchasors to their own use that if the reason that as soon as the Play is done their wit and becoming graces are at an end whereas the nobler sort that Act not for mercenary Profit but for Honour and becoming would not only strive to Act well upon the Stage but to practise their actions when off from the Stage besides it would keep the youths from misimploying time with their foolish extravagancies deboist luxuries and base Vices all which Idleness and vacant time produceth and in my opinion a publick Theatre were a shorter way of education than their tedious and expensive Travels or their dull and solitary Studies for Poets teach them more in one Play both of the Nature of the World and Mankind by which they learn not only to know other men but their own selves than they can learn in any School or in any Country or Kingdome in a year but to conclude a Poet is the best Tutor and a Theatre is the best School that is for Youth to be educated by or in M. N. TO THE READERS NOBLE READERS I Know there are many Scholastical and Pedantical persons that will condemn my writings because I do not keep strictly to the Masculine and Feminine Genders as they call them as for example a Lock and a Key the one is the Masculine Gender the other the Feminine Gender so Love is the Masculine Gender Hate the Feminine Gender and the Furies are shee s and the Graces are shee s the Virtues are shee s and the seven deadly Sins are shee s which I am sorry for but I know no reason but that I may as well make them Hee s for my use as others did Shee s or Shee s as others did Hee s But some will say if I did do so there would be no forms or rules of Speech to be understood by I answer that we may as well understand the meaning or sense of a Speaker or Writer by the names of Love or Hate as by the names of he or she and better for the division of Masculine and Feminine Genders doth confound a Scholar more and takes up more time to learn them than they have time to spend besides where one doth rightly understand the difference a hundred nay a thousand do not and yet they are understood and to be understood is the end of all Speakers and Writers so that if my writings be understood I desire no more and as for the nicities of Rules Forms and Terms I renounce and profess that if I did understand and know them strictly as I do not I would not follow them and if any dislike my writings for want of those Rules Forms and Terms let them not read them for I had rather my writings should be unread than be read by such Pedantical Sholastical persons M. N. TO THE READERS NOBLE READERS T Is likely you will condemn my Playes at being dull and flat by reason they have not the high seasoning of Poetical Salt but Suger is more commonly used amongst our Sex than Salt But I fear my Wit is tastless which I am sorry for for though a Satyrical Speaker is discommendable being for the most part abusive for Bitter reproofs only are fit for rigid Pedants Censuring and back-biting sit for pot Companions and sharp replies is a wit for mean persons being in a degree of scolding a Ralery Wit for Bussions and jesters which abuse under the Veil of Mirth Familiarity and Freedome whereas a generous discoursitive Wit although it be free yet it is sweet and pleasing thus as I said Satyrical Speakers are discommendable yet Satyrical Writers are highly to be praised as most profitable because those reprove only the generality as the general Vices Follies and errors of Mankind pointing at no particular and the sharpest Writers are most commonly the sweetest Speakers But I have observed one general Folly amongst many which is that it is expected by most Readers that the Writers should speak as they write which would be very ridiculous as for example a Lyrick Poet should speak nothing but Sonnets a Comedian or Tragedian Poet should speak nothing but set Speeches or blanck Verse or such Speeches which are only prover to present such and such humours which in ordinary discourse would be improper and though Virgil whose greatest praise is Language yet I do verily believe he did not speak in his ordinary Conversation in such a stile forms and Speeches nor in such high fine and choice Latin nor in such high and lofty expressions nor apt similitudes nor the sence of his discourse wrapt in such Metaphors as in his writings nay Eloquent Speakers or Orators do not alwayes speak Orations but upon an occasion and at set times but their ordinary Conversation is with ordinary discourses for I do verily believe the greatest and most Eloquents Orators that ever were in the World in their ordinary Conversation converst and spoke but as other men Besides in Common and ordinary Conversations the most Wittiest learnedst and Eloquentest Men are forced to speak according to the Wit Learning Language and Capacities of those they are in Company and Coversation with unless they will speak all themselves which will be no Conversation for in Conversation every particular person must have his turn and time of speaking as well as hearing yet such is the folly of the World as to despise the Authors of Witty Learned and Eloquent Writings if their Conversations be as other mens and yet would laugh at them or account them mad if they should speak otherwise as out of this ordinary way but the greatest talkers are not the best writers which is the cause women cannot be good Writers for we for fear of being thought Fools make our selves Fools in striving to express some Wit whereas if we had but that power over our selves as to keep silence we perchance might be thought Wits although we were Fools but to keep silence is impossible for us to do so long as we have Speech we shall talk although to no purpose for nothing but Death can force us to silence for we often talk in our Sleep but to speak without partiality I do not perceive that men are free from this imperfection nor from condemning us although they are guilty
lay Ex. ACT II. Scene 5. Enter the Lady Sanspareile all in white Satin like as a Bride and her Father and her audience which are all Lovers these stand gazing upon her SAnspareile This Noble assembly may chance to think it a vanity in me never to receive any particular visit or adresse from any particular or single person but I do so by reason life is lost in particular acquaintance as small Rivers are in running through the earth But in the publick life swims as in a full Sea having a fair gale of observation and Sailes of opportune time to swim withall marking the Card of actions and the Needle of dispositions drawn or turned by the Loadstone of affection to the North-pole of Experience to guide me safe from the Rocks of slander and quick-sands of scandal till I come to the Port of death there to unload my Lifes Merchandise and I hope my Voyage may be so prosperous as I may be inriched with the praises of After-Ages Likewise the reason why I choose to speak in publick is that I would not speak idely for in publick I shall take care of what I speak and to whom I speak when in private visitations to single persons my speech may be carelesse with negligence in which I may throw away my time with my words For to speak to no purpose is to make words useless and words is the marks to distinguish things and Figures to number merits with and Notes to record the noble Acts of men But at this time I am to speak by my Fathers command upon a Subject which my contemplation hath no acquaintance with which is marriage and I hear by my Father that you have all treated with him or rather intreated him to bestow me in marriage which is to make me unhappy not but that I believe what I hear which is that you are all persons of Quality Birth Breeding and Merit far beyond my desert yet with the best if any best there be being all worthy yet were I a wife to any one I might be unhappy by reason marriage is an incumbered life although the Husband and the Wife were fitly matcht for years Births Fortunes Dispositions Humours Capacities Wits Conversations Constancies Vertues and affections and first by your leave I will discourse of mens marriage by reason Man being accounted the Supremer Creature and alwayes bearing Rule he shall be first placed As for marriage to men it is a great hinderance to a speculative life it cuts off Phancies Wings and quenches out the Poetical Fire it breaks the Engine of invention disturbs sweet contemplation corrupts honest Counsels obstructs all Heroick actions obscures fame and often times causes infamy by the wifes inconstancies and many times by her indiscretion for a man is dishonoured if his wife is but thought wanton or but inclining to be amorous and though she be as sober in her Nature and as constant as any woman can be yet the very suspition is a disgrace and if the suspition is a disgrace what is a visible truth His very Neighbours makes Horns as he passeth by their doors whilst he sadly and shamefully hangs down his head with a dejected countenance which makes him seem a Coward and a Fool although it be unjust that the faults of the wife should be a blemish to the Husbands honour yet so it is this being the greatest cause why Husbands are jealouse which jealousie is more for their Honours sake than for their Wives affections thus you see how dangerous a thing it is for man to marry who must trust his honour to the management of a Foolish Woman and women naturally like children inconstant unlesse education doth rectifie their frail natures peevish humours various appetites and inconstant affection Likewise marriage is not only apt to corrupt the mind with jealousie but with Covetousnesse for the extreme fondnesse and natural love of Parents to their Children maks them strive by all their endeavours to inrich them this makes them gripe their Tennants pinch and half starve their servants quarrel and dispute with their neighbours corrupt Judges take Bribes besides it makes men apt to rebell and turn Traitorus murmuring at their Taxes and impositions it also makes them timorous and fearful in warrs by reason their wife and children may be ruined by their death Also it makes them dull in their Conversations by reason they are alwayes plodding for their worldly affairs and for the Muses had a husband time to entertain them yet the wife would right them or drive them from him with their quarreling disputes or sencelesse prizes besides most women are as jealouse of the Muses as of their Maids but to treat or discourse of married women is to discourse of a most unhappy life for all the time of their lives is insnared with troubles what in breeding and bearing children what in taking and turning away Servants directing and ordering their Family counting their expences and disbursing their revenues besides the vexations with their servants for their quarreling and combining for their sloth and sluttery for their spoiles and carlessnesse for their treachery and couzenage and if they have Children what troubles and griefs do unsue Troubled with their frowardnesse and untowardnesse the care for their well being the fear for their ill doing their grief for their sicknesse and their unsufferable sorrow for their death Yet this is the best part and not to be avoided But if these troubles be joyned with an ill Husband it heightens their torments for if he be a Drunkard she had better be marryed to a Beast her nostrils is stencht with the Lees of wine her eyes are offended with his rude behaviour and her ears are struck with a cursed noise of cursing and Oaths and if he be a Gamester she lives in an unsetled condition she knows not how soon she may want for if she have plenty one day she may be in a condition to beg the next And if her Husband be inconstant and loves variety of women O how jealousie torments her besides the wrongs she suffers from him what affronts she receives from his Mistresse How is she dispised amongst her neighbours sleighted by her servant suspected by the world for having some defect as either to be incontinent sluttish foolish froward crosse unkind ill natured sickly or diseased when perchance the woman may be worthy to be marcht with a temperate wise valiant honest rich and honourable man and if women go fine and take pleasure in themselves and Garments their Husbands are jealouse and if they regard not themselves or Garments their Husbands dislikes them For though men will swear to their wives they like them better in their old cloaths than other women in their glorious Apparrel because they would not have them expensive yet if their wives neglect themselves regarding not their dressing but sleights all outward Adornments and change of Garments as prodigal spend-thrifts they starve their Husbands esteem in their thrifty plainness Consumes
their affections in their peiced Petticoates and buries their Husbands love in their dirty raggs And from the Dunghill of dirty raggs and grave of soul Linnen is their Husbands transformed to beastly Adulteries stealing by degrees out of one Form into another as from a doting Husband to a fond Husband form a fond to a discreet Husband from a discreet to a careful Husband from a careful to a carelesse from a carelesse to a disliking from a disliking to a hating and then they begin to wander As first an eye glances from an eye glance to an admirer from an admirer to a professour from a professour to a dissembler from a dissembler to an Adulterer then for the dresses and garments of his Mistress First from clean to new from new to fine from fine to brave from brave to glorious from glorious to fantastical from fantastical to profusely various from profusely various to any dirty Slut But his wife on the other side if his wife desires appears handsome and practises civil behaviour and endeavours to be fine takes care to be cleanly observes to be fashionable her Husband straight becomes jealouse although she doth this for his sake and to keep his affection yet he thinks it is for the affection and sake of some other man which causeth private discontents from private discontents to quarreling disputes from quarreling disputes to publick exclamations from publick exclamations to open defiance from open defiance to devorcement and though I cannot say this by or from experience having it only from relation yet I do as faithfully believe it as if I were experienced therein On which faith I made a vow never to marry since I hear men are so hard to please and apt to change wherefore if I were marryed instead of discoursing of several arguments I should be groaning and sighing and weeping with several pains and vexations and instead of a silent solitary contemplation a clamorous quarrelsome conversation instead of a peaceable life I should be alwayes in civil warrs and instead of being happy I should be miserable for mariage is like a ship which always lyes on the roughest Bilows of the Sea rouling from side to side with discontents sailing uncertainly with inconstancy and various winds But noble civil kind and affectionate Gentlemen as I have told you I have made a vow never to marry and surely marriage is not so happy an estate or so pleasing a condition of life as to perswade me to break my vow neither can flattering Rhetorick nor inticing beauty nor adoring admiring deploring praying weeping Suters perswade me no not a bleeding Suter were I sure he would dye did he not enjoy me for I will never be so dishonourable perjurious and impious to break the holy Laws and pull the Virgin Altars down built in the conscience on which are vows offered to Gods on high Should I blow out that with faint inconstancy that pure bright Vestal Fire of innocency from whence the Essence of chast thoughts ascends to Heaven high But rather than I would break my vow I wish my ears as deaf as death that hears no flattering sounds nor sad complaints nor terrifying threats my eyes as dark as night least light should bring some false deluding object in for to deceive me my heart like Adamant so hard love cannot enter nor pity nor compassion wound but howsoever I connot be wife to you all wherefore since I cannot be every mans wife I will dye every mans Maid But I must tell this Noble Assembly their meeting hath occasioned a quarrel here for bashfulnesse and confidence hath fought a Duel in my Cheeks and left the staines of bloud there After her Respects Ex. All her Audience her Lovers goeth out silently some lifting up their eyes others their hands some striking their hands on their breast and the like Ex. Scene 6. Enter the Lady Innocence alone WHilst I was in his favour my mind was like a pleasant Garden where several Phancies like several Birds did make sweet melody and in this Garden a large high Tree of Noble ambition grew whereon hung fruits of hopes but low misfortunes now hath cut it down and therewithall have built a house where melancholly dwels darkened with Clouds of discontents and winds of sighs and showers of tears doth blow and powre thereon She weeping and sighing Ex. Scene 7. Enter the Lady Incontinent and the Lord de l'Amour LAdy Incontinent Faith you will be well wived for your affianced is known to be a Lyer and feared she will be a Whore and proved a Thief Lord de l'Amour How a Thief Lady Incontinent Why she hath stolen my Pearl Chain worth a thousand Pounds Lord de l'Amour T is impossible Lady Incontinent It is not impossible to prove a Thief Lord de l'Amour No for there is too many to misse but sure it is impossible she should prove one she is so honourably born and I never heard but she was Vertuously bred Lady Incontinent By your favour Covetousnesse or Necessity may tempt Honourable Births and corrupt minds that with plenty would be honest enough Lord de l'Amour I grant misery may prove some Noble souls sprung from Honourable stocks yet not to be so wickedly base as to steal although so unworthy as to shark Lady Incontinent Why sharking is next Neighbour to stealing or as near Kindred as an Equivocation is to a Lye Lord de l'Amour But she was never so necessitated as to make her either a shark or a Thief having alwayes plenty Lady Incontinent But she is covetous and youth that is fond of all things they see desires to enjoy all things they have not and will endeavour by any means or wayes to compass their desires Lord de l'Amour I never found my Youth prompt to any such Acts Lady Incontinent Without more discourse she hath stole my Chain and I can prove it She goeth out alone Lord de l'Amour alone T is strange I know not what to think or how to iudge which of the two Ladies is a Divel for surely one of them is Ex. ACT III Scene 8. Enter two Gentlemen 1 GEntleman The Lady Sanspareile is the miracle of this age the world doth not parrallel her with the like for her behaviour is graceful and becoming her Countenance modest and wife her speech Majestical and witty yet grave and learned and her Oratory is after a New way 2 Gent. It is reported that there are many men come from all parts of the world to hear her aad those that cannot understand this Language comes only to see her so famous is she to all the world 1 Gent. She is a great Honour to our Nation 2 Gent. I hear she doth intend to plead in the behalf of poor Suiters and hath asked leave of the Queen to be a pleader at the Barr for all such as suffered wrong as injustices and for such Clients as hath just causes but hath not means to follow the Law as to see
a servant to my Mr. and Mrs. I must be dutiful and careful to their commands and on their employments they have put to me wherefore I must leave you Sir and go fold my sheep Lord Title I will help you Exeunt Scene 24 Enter Sir Golden Riches and Mall Mean-bred GOlden Rich. Sweet-heart I have no Sonnets This Scene was written by my Lord Marquiss of Newcastle Songs or stronger Lines with softer Poesie to melt your Soul nor Rhetorick to charm your Eares or Logick for to force or ravish you nor lap 't in richer cloaths embalm'd in Sweets nor Courtly Language but am an Ancient Squire by name Sir Golden Riches which hath force in all things and then in Love for Cupid being blinde he is for feeling and look here my Wench this purse is stuff'd with Gold a hundred pounds Mall Mean-bred Let me see poure it on the ground Gold Rich. I will obey thee Look here my Girl He poures it on the ground Mall Mean-bred O dear how it doth shine forsooth it almost blinds mine eyes take it away yet pray let it stay truly I know not what to do with it Gold Rich. No why it will buy you rich Gowns ap'd in the Silk-worms toyls with stockings of the softer silk to draw on your finer legs with rich lace shooes with roses that seem sweet and garters laced with spangles like twinckling Stars embalm your hair with Gessimond Pomaetums and rain Odoriferous Powders of proud Rome Mall Mean-bred O Heaven what a Wench shall I be could I get them But shall we have fine things of the Pedlar too Gold Rich. Buy all their packs and send them empty home Mall Mean-bred O mighty I shall put down all the Wenches at the May-pole then what will the Bag-piper say do you think Pray tell me for he is a jeering knave Gold Rich. Despise the Rural company and that windy bag change it for Balls with greatest Lords to dance and bring the Jerkin Fiddles out of frame Mall Mean-bred Then I shall have a Mail-Pillion and ride behind our Thomas to the dancing Gold Rich. No you shall ride in rich gilt Coaches Pages and Lacquies in rich Liveries with Gentlemen well cloath'd to wait upon you Mall Mean-bred And be a Lady then I will be proud and will not know Thomas any more nor any Maid that was acquainted with me Gold Rich. You must forget all those of your Fathers house too for I 'll get a Pedigree shall fit you and bring you Lineally descended from Great Charlemain Mall Mean-bred No I will have it from Charls wayn my Fathers Carter but I would so fain be a Lady and it might be I will be stately laugh without a cause and then I am witty and jeer sometimes and speak nonsense aloud But this Gold will not serve for all these fine things Gold Rich. Why then we will have hundreds and thousands of pounds until you be pleas'd so I may but enjoy you in my Arms Mall Mean-bred No Maid alive can hold our these Assaults Gold is the Petarr that breaks the Virgins gates a Souldier told me so VVell then my Lord Title farewel for you are an empty name and Sir Effeminate Lovely go you to your Taylor make more fine cloaths in vain I 'll stick to Riches do then what you will The neerest way to pleasure buy it still Exeunt Scene 25. Enter the Lady Ward alone LAdy Ward Why should Lord Courtship dislike me Time hath not plowed wrinkles in my face nor digged hollows in my cheeks nor hath he set mine eyes deep in my head nor shrunk my sinews up nor suck'd my veins dry nor fed upon my flesh making my body insipid and bate neither hath he quenched out my wit nor decay'd my memory nor ruin'd my understanding but perchance Lord Courtship likes nothing but what is in perfection and I am like a house which Time hath not fully finished nor Education throughly furnished Scene 26. Enter Poor Virtue and Sir Golden Riches meets her comming from Mall Mean-bred Golden Riches Sweet-heart refuse not Riches it will buy thee friends pacifie thy enemies it will guard thee from those dangers that throng upon the life of every creature Poor Virtue Heavenly Providence is the Marshal which makes way for the life to pass through the croud of dangers and my Vertue will gain me honest friends which will never forsake me and my humble submission will pacifie my enemies were they never so cruel Gold Rich. But Riches will give thee delight and place thee in the midst of pleasures Poor Virtue No it is a peaceable habitation a quiet and sound sleep and a healthful body that gives delight and pleasure and 't is not riches but riches many times destroy the life of the body or the reason in the soul or at least bring infirmities thereto through luxury for luxury slackens the Nerves quenches the Spirits and drowns the Brain and slackned Nerves make weak Bodies quenched Spirits timorous Minds a drowned Brain a watry Understanding which causeth Sloth Effeminacy and Simplicity Gold Rich. How come you to know so much of the world and yet know so few passages in it living obscurely in a Farmers house Poor Virtue The Astronomers can measure the distance of the Planets and take the compass of the Globe yet never travel to them nor have they Embassadors from them nor Liegers to lie therein to give Intelligence Gold Rich. How come you to be so learnedly judicious being so young poor and meanly born and bred Poor Virtue Why Fire Air Water and Earth Animals Vegetables and Minerals are Volumes large enough to express Nature and make a Scholar learn to know the course of her works and to understand many effects produced therefrom And as for Judgment and Wit they are brother and sister and although they do not alwayes and at all times agree yet are they alwayes the children of the Brain being begot by Nature Thus what Wit or Knowledge I have may come immediatly from Nature not from my Birth or Breeding but howsoever I am not what I seem Exeunt Scene 27. Enter the Lady Contemplation and the Lady Visitant Visitant What makes you look so sad Contempl. Why Monsieur Amorous's visit hath been the cause of the death of one of the finest Gentlemen of this Age Visitant How pray Contempl. Why thus my Imagination for Imagination can Create both Masculine and Feminine Lovers had Created a Gentleman that was handsomer and more beautiful than Leander Adonis or Narcissus valianter than Tamberlain Scanderbeg Hannibal Caesar or Alexander sweeter-natur'd than Titus the delight of mankinde better-spoken and more eloquent than Tully or Demosthenes wittyer than Ovid and a better Poet than Homer This man to fall desperately in love with me as loving my Vertues honouring my Merits admiring my Beauty wondring at my Wit doting on my Person adoring me as an Angel worshipping me as a Goddess I was his Life his Soul his Heaven This Lover courted
this discourse is that since Self-love is the Fountain of and in Nature from whence issue out several Springs to every several Creature wherein Mankind being her chiefest and Supreme work is filled with the fullest Springs from that Fountain which is the cause that Mankind is more industrious cruel and unsatiable to and for his self ends than any other Creature he spares nothing that he hath power to destroy if he fears any hurt or hopes for any gain or finds any pleasure or can make any sport or to imploy his idle time he melts metalls distills and dissolves plants dissects animals substracts and extracts Elements he digs up the bowels of the Earth cuts through the Ocean of the Sea gathers the winds into Sails fresh waters into Mills and imprisons the thinner Ayre he Hunts he Fowls he Fishes for sport with Gunns Nets and Hooks he cruelly causeth one Creature to destroy another the whilst he looks on with delight he kills not only for to live but lives for to kill and takes pleasure in torturing the life of other Creatures in prolonging their pains and lengthning their Deaths and when Man makes friendship of Love it is for his own sake either in humouring his passion or feeding his humour or to strengthen his party or for Trust or Counsel or Company or the like causes if he dies for his friend it is either for fame or that he cannot live himself happy without his friend his passion and grief making him restless if Man loves his Children Wife or Parents t is for his own sake he loves his Parents for the honour he receives by them or for the life he received of them if he loves his Wife or the Wife the Husband it is for their own sakes as their own pleasure as either for their Beauties Wits Humours or other Graces or for their Company or Friendships or because they think they love them if they love their Children it is for their own sakes as to keep alive their memory and to have their duty and obedience to bow and do homage to them If Masters love their Servants it is for their own sakes because they are trusty faithfull and industrious in their affairs imployments or for their own profit or ease and if Servants love their Masters it is for their own sakes as either for their power to protect them or for the regard they have to them or for the gain they get from them or for their lives that are nourished and maintained by them if Amorous Lovers love it is for their own sakes as to please the Appetite and to satisfy their desires if Subjects love their Soveraigns it is for their own sakes as that they may have Law and Justice Peace and Unity If Sovereigns love their Subjects it is for their own sakes because they bear up his Throne with their Wealth and Industry and fight to maintain or get him power My Application most Noble and Right Honourable is that since we do all and in every act for our own sakes we should indeavour and study for that which is best for our selves and the ground of our indeavour is to learn and know our selves every particular person must learn and know himself not by comparative as observing others for every man is not alike but by self study reading our own Natures and Dispositions marking our own Passions mours and Appetites with the Pen of Thought and Ink of Examination and let the Truth be the Tutor to instruct you in the School of Reason in which you may Commence Master of Art and go out Doctor of Judgment to practise Temperance for Temperance keeps in its full strength prolongs Beauty quickens Wit ripens Youth refreshes Age restores Decayes keeps Health maintains Life and hinders Times ruines but Temperance is not only a Doctor of Physick a Physician to the Body but a Doctor of Divinity a Divine for the Soul It preaches and teaches good Life it instructs with the Doctrine of Tranquillity and guides to the Heaven of Happiness also Temperance is the Doctor of Musick it tunes the Senses composes the Thoughts it notes the Passions it measures the Appetites and playes a Harmonious Mind Thus Most Noble and Right Honourable I have proved that Self-love is the Fountain of Nature and the Original Springs of her Creatures and that Temperance is the strongest Foundation of Self-love although few build thereupon but upon Intemperance which is a huge Bulk of Excess the substance of Riot worm eaten with Surfers rotten with Pain and sinks down to death with Sickness and Grief not being able to bear and uphold Life wherefore build your Lives upon Temperance which is a strong and sure Foundation which will never fail but will uphold your Lives as long as Time and Nature permits them and your Souls will dwell peaceably and happily therein Exeunt ACT V. Scene 14. Enter Madamoiselle Amor alone as musing to her self alone then speaks MAdamoiselle Amor I will confess to him my Love since my designs are Noble but O for a woman to woo a man is against Nature and seems too bold nay impudent only by a contrary custome but why should not a woman confess she loves before she is wooed when after a seeming coyness gives consent as being won more by a Treaty than by Love when her obscure thoughts know well her heart was his at first bound as his prisoner and only counterfeits a freedome besides it were unjust although an antient custome if dissembling should be preferred before a Modern Truth for length of Time and often practices makes not Falshood Truth nor Wrong Right nor Evill Good then I will break down Customs Walls and honest Truth shall lead me on Love plead my Sute and if I be deny'd My heart will break and Death my Face will hide Exit Scene 15. Enter Monsieur Esperance and his Wife Madamoiselle Esperance MOnsieur Esperance Wife whither do you go when I come near you you always turn to go from me Madamoiselle Esperance I saw you not for I had rather be fixt as a Statue than move to your dislike Monsieur Esperance Why do you blush surely you are guilty of some crime Madamoiselle Esperance 'T is said blushing comes unsent for and departs without leave and that it oftner visits Innocency than guilt Madamoiselle Esperance weeps Monsieur Esperance What do you weep Madamoiselle Esperance How can I otherwise choose when my Innocent Life and True Love is suspected and all my pure affections are cast away like dross and the best of all my actions condemn'd as Traytors and my unspotted Chastity blemish'd with soul Jealousy and defamed with slandering words Monsieur Esperance Prethy Wife do not weep for every tear wounds me to Death and know it is my extreme Love which creates my fears but you might have had a Husband with more faults Madamoiselle Esperance 'T is true but not so many noble qualities as you have which makes
declared she will never marry Malicious That is all one for men will persue their desires and live of Hopes so long as there is any left Spightfull Well the worst come to the worst we shall only live old Maids Tell-truth But not old Virgins Exeunt Scene 20. Enter Madamoiselle Grand Esprit her two Sisters Madamoiselle Amor and Madamoiselle La Belle as Brides and Monsieur Nobilissimo and Monsieur Heroick his Brother as Bridegrooms and a Company of Bridal guests all as her Audience GRand Esprit Great Hymen I do now petition thee To bless my Sisters not to favour me Unless I were thy subject to obey But I am Diana's and to her do pray But give me leave for to decide the cause And for to speak the truth of marriage laws Or else through ignorance each man and wife May rebels prove by Matrimonial strife Noble and Right Honourable From the root of Self-love grows many several Branches as Divine Love Moral Love Natural and Sympathetical Love Neighbourly and Matrimonial Love Divine Love is the Love to the Gods Moral Love is the Love to Virtue Natural Love is the Love to Parents and Children Sympathetical Love is of Lovers or Friendships Neighbourly Love is the Love of Acquaintance and true Matrimonial Love is the Love of United Souls and Bodyes but I shall only insist or discourse at this time for my Sisters sakes of Matrimonial Love this Matrimonial Love is the first imbodyed Love that Nature created for as for Divine Love and Moral Love they are as incorporeal as the Soul and Sympathetical and Matrimonial Love which I will joyn as Soul and Body were before Natural or Neighbourly Love for Marriage beget Acquaintance and none lives so neer nor converses so much as man and wife and there was a Sympathy and Conjunction of each Sex before there were Children and there could be no Parents before there were Children thus Matrimonial Love was the first substantial Love and being the Original and producing Love ought to be honoured and preferr'd as the most perfect and greatest Love in Nature but mistake me not Noble and Right Honourable when I say the greatest Love in Nature I mean not the Supernatural Love as Divine Love as to the Gods but this Matrimonial Love I say is to be the most respected as the Original Love like as Nature is to be honoured and preferred before the Creatures she makes so Matrimonial Love ought to be respected first as being the cause of Friendly Sociable Neighbourly and Fatherly Love wherefore man and wife ought to forsake all the world in respect of each other and to prefer no other delight before each others good or content for the Love of Parents and Children or any other Love proceeding from Nature ought to be waved when as they come in Competition with the Love man and wife for though Matrimonial Love is not such a Divine Love as from man to the Gods yet it is as the Love of Soul and Body also it is as a Divine Society as being a Union but Right Honourable to tell you my opinion is that I belive very few are truly married for it is not altogether the Ceremony of the Church nor State that makes a true marriage but a Union and indissoluble Conjunction of Souls and Bodyes of each Sex wherefore all those that are allowed of as man and wife by the Church State and Laws yet they are but Adulterers unless their Souls Bodyes and Affections are united as one for it s not the joyning of hands speaking such words by Authentical persons nor making of vows and having Witnesses thereof that makes a true marriage no more than an Absolution without a Contrition makes a holy man wherefore dear Sisters and you two Heroick Worthies marry as you ought to do or else live single lives otherwise your Children will be of a Bastard kind and your associating but as Beasts which are worse than Birds for they orderly chuse their Mates and lovingly fly and live together and equally labour to build their nest to feed their young and Sympathetically live and love each other which order and love few married persons observe nor practice but after all this even those marriages that are the perfectest purest lovingest and most equallest and Sympathetically joyned yet at the best marriage is but the womb of trouble which cannot be avoided also marriage is the grave or tomb of Wit for which I am resolved for my part to live a single life associating my self with my own Thoughts marrying my self to my own Contemplations which I hope to conceive and bring forth a Child of Fame that may live to posterity and to keep a-live my Memory not that I condemn those that marry for I do worship married persons as accounting them Saints as being Martyrs for the good cause of the Common-wealth Sacrificing their own Happiness and Tranquillity for the weal publick for there is none that marries that doth not increase their Cares and Pains but marriage Unites into Familyes Familyes into Villages Villages into Cities Cities into Corporations Corporations into Common-wealths this increase keeps up the race of Mankind and causes Commerce Trade and Traffick all which associates men into an Agreement and by an Agreement men are bound to Laws by Laws they are bound to Punishments by Punishments to Magistrates and by Magistrates and Punishments to Obedience by Obedience to Peace and Defence in which Center of Peace my dear Sisters I wish you may live and be guarded with the Circumference of Defence that nothing may disturb or indanger you or yours and that you may live in true marriage and increase with united love blest with Virtuous Children and inrich'd with prudent Care and Industry also I wish and pray that Jealousy may be banished from your Thoughts Pains and Sickness from your Bodyes Poverty from your Familyes evill Servants from your Imployments Disobedience from your Children And that Death may not rob you of your breed But after your life your Children may succeed FINIS An Epilogue spoken by the Lady True-Love O How my heart doth ake when think I do How I a modest Maid a man did woo To be so confident to woo him here Upon the publick Stage to every Ear Men sure will censure me for mad if not To be in some unlucky Planet got Or else will tax me of dishonesty As seeming like a bold immodesty Well I have woo'd yet am I not despis'd But am by Virtuous honour highly priz'd Because my Love was spotless pure and Chast And on a noble worthy man was plac'd Then why should I blush weep or yet repent Or shun the wooing part to represent But rather joy and glory in my choice If you approve my Act pray giv 't a voice THE ACTORS NAMES The Arch-Prince The Lord Dorato The Lord Melancholy the Lord Doratoes Son Sir Thomas Gravity the Lord Doratoes Brother The Lady Gravity Sir Thomas's Wife The Lady Perfection the Lady Gravities
Commander and Common Souldiers Lady Victoria The reason of this is that Ceremony strikes a reverence and respect into every breast raising up a devotion in every heart and devotion makes obedience and obedience keeps order and order is the strength and life to an Army State or Common-wealth and as for the Prayers presented to these particular Gods and Goddess is that Mars would give us courage and strength Pallas give us prudent conduct Fortune give us Victory and Fame give us Glory and Renown Reader Eleventhly Be it known observed and practised that the most experienced practiz'd and ingenioust Commanders shall preach twice a week of Martial Discipline also those errours that have been committed in former Wars and what advantages have been taken to be cited in their Sermons as also what was gain'd or lost by meer Fortune Reader Twelfthly Be it known observed and practised that when the Army marches that the Souldiers shall sing in their march the heroical actions done in former times by heroical women Lady Victoria The reason of this is that the remembrance of the actions of gallant persons inflames the Spirit to the like and begets a courage to a like action and the reason of singing of heroical actions only of women is that we are women our selves Reader Thirteenthly Be it known observed and submitted to that no Council shall be call'd but that all affairs be ordered and judged by the Generalless her self Lady Victoria The reason of this is that all great Councils as of many persons confounds judgments for most being of several opinions and holding strongly and stifly nay obstinately thereunto as every one thinking themselves wisest cause a division and wheresoever a division is there can be no finall conclusion Reader Fourteenthly Be it known observed and practised that none of this Effeminate Army admits of the Company of men whilst they are in Arms or Warlike actions not so much as to exchange words without the Generalless her leave or privilege thereto Lady Victoria The reason of this is that men are apt to corrupt the noble minds of women and to alter their gallant worthy and wise resolutions with their flattering words and pleasing and subtil insinuations and if they have any Authority over them as Husbands Fathers Brothers or the like they are apt to fright them with threats into a slavish obedience yet there shall be chosen some of the most inferiour of this Female Army to go into the Masculine Army to learn their designs and give us intelligence of their removals that we may order our incampings and removings according as we shall think best but these women shall neither be of the Body of our Army nor keep amongst the Army nor come within the Trenches but ly without the works in Huts which shall be set up for that purpose Reader Lastly Whosoever shall break any of these Laws or Orders shall be put to Death and those that do not keep them strictly shall be severely punished Lady Victoria But I am to advise you Noble Heroicks that though I would not have a general Council call'd to trouble our designs in War with tedious disputes and unnecessary objections and over cautious doubts yet in case of life and death there shall be a Jury chosen to sit and judge their Causes and the whole Army shall give their votes and the most voices shall either condemn or reprieve or save them lest I should hereafter be only call'd in question and not the rest as being not accessary thereunto and now you have heard these Laws or Orders you may assent or dissent therefrom as you please if you assent declare it by setting your hands thereto if you dissent declare it by word of mouth and the Tables shall be broken All the women We assent and will set our hands thereto Exeunt Scene 12. Enter Doctor Educature the Lady Jantils Chaplin and Nell Careless her Maid DOctor Educature Nell how doth your good Lady Nell Careless Faith she seems neither sick nor well for though her Body seems in health her Mind seems to be full of trouble for she will rise in the midst of the Night and walk about her Chamber only with her Mantle about her Doctor Educature Why doth she so Nell Careless I ask'd her why she broke her sleep so as to walk about and she answered me that it was frightfull Dreams that broke her sleep and would not let her rest in quiet Doctor Educature Alas she is Melancholick in the absence of my Lord Exeunt Scene 13. Enter the Lady Victoria and a number of other Women LAdy Victoria Now we are resolved to put our selves into a Warlike body our greatest difficulty will be to get Arms but if you will take my advise we may be furnished with those necessaries as thus the Garrison we are to enter is full of Arms and Amunition and few men to guard them for not only most of the Souldiers are drawn out to strengthen the Generals Army and to fight in the battel but as many of the Townsmen as are fit to bear Arms wherefore it must of necessity be very slenderly guarded and when we are in the Town we will all agree in one Night when they shall think themselves most secure to rise and surprize those few men that are left and not only disarm them and possess our selves of the Town and all the Arms and Amunition but we will put those men out of the Town or in safe places untill such time as we can carry away whatsoever is usefull or needfull for us and then to go forth and intrench untill such time as we have made our selves ready to march and being once Master or Mistriss of the Field we shall easily Master the Pesants who are for the most part naked and defenceless having not Arms to guard them by which means we may plunder all their Horses and victual our selves out of their Granaries besides I make no question but our Army will increase numerously by those women that will adhere to our party either out of private and home discontents or for honour and fame or for the love of change and as it were a new course of life wherefore let us march to the Town and also to our design but first I must have you all swear secrecy All the women We are all ready to swear to what you will have us Exeunt Scene 14. Enter Madam Jantil alone as rising out of her Bed her Mantle wrapt about her and in her night linnen MAdam Iantil. I saw his Face pale as a Lilly white His wounds fresh bleeding blood like rubies bright His Eyes were looking steadfastly on me Smiling as joying in my Company He mov'd his lips as willing was to speak But had no voice and all his Spirits weak He shak'd his hand as if he bid farewell That brought the message which his tongue would tell He 's dead he 's dead a sunder break my heart Let 's meet in Death though Wars