respect to them and their dambenable actions for our honour We are pleased to take spetiall notice of that service which they most willingly endeauored to efect for the confusion of all the heritiks Jnhabiting England Scotland Ireland and the Netherlands by the late conceaued Jnvincible Armado procured from Spaine in the yeare of our raigne 5660. Which through the providence of the Celestiall powers then ouer them And the dissturbance of Martain Harper Trump here below Failâ—ed of that Sucses which we together with them expectod and hoped for To our no lesse sorrow then theirs Nor can we but aplaud the dilligent care taken by our Children servants of greatest quality in that Kingdom In preventing the discovery of that Jnvasiue plott by the heritikes and their small well-meaneing State Through their speidy flight to dover Rode and private Conference there with Don Oquindo the Generalissimo of Spaine to that effect All which was most exquesitly performed especially by our hispaniolized lacklatine Lord our deerely beloued Servant And lastly our hope is that this presant plott sett on foot by these our trusty well-beloued chlldren and Servants aforenamed by their earnest endeuours our assistance once effected will Crowne all our labours to our unspeakeable Terrestriall glory and their eternal favours by vs to be conferred on them in our Royall pallace of perdition where we haue already Imposed our Royal command vpon our trusty and wellbeloued cozen and councelor Peotâ—r Tretyacoue Chancelor Evane Becklemeesheue our Knight Marshall Richardo Slowe Treasurer and Don Serborus grand Porter of our said Pallace to giue them free admittance into our Royall Presence Thus no wayes doubting of your singular care and dilligence in fullfilling this our Royall will and Pleasure hereby expressed we do further impose our Royall favour and Princely respect to be by you presented vnto our trusty and wellbeloued cozen and councellour your present â—untio in the Court of England as also vnto our beloued children and servants the Bishops Jesuites Priests and Semenaries our faithfull agents in this invinceable plott and also to all our faithfull subiects servatns the Romane Catholikes of England We are pleased to remaine Your Royall Sofferraigne and Patron of all your dambenable plots and stratagems now in hand Giuen at oure Infernall pallace of perdition this 1. of September and in the 5661 yeare of our most dambnable raigne Poste Scripte Since the aboue written wee are creadibly informed of the intention of a most scandelous petition to be deliuered by asmall number of heriticall Lords vnto their King at Yorke which doth not a little touch our honour and the discouery of this our present stratagem Our expresse will and pleasure is that there be some speedy course taken for the suppressing of the same And the authors thereof sevearely punnished and Pomfret Castell alotted vnto them for their abode vntil our wil and pleasure be further known and this our dissigne be effected of which faile you not as you tender our Royall favour the suckses of this our dissigne and your owne safety Farewell Antonio Furioso Diabelo Principalio Secretario Cousider this and marck the substance well It seemes a letter from the finnd of hell What er the form or method seeme to be Th' intent thereof was quite the contrary Had this not rung a knell in som mens eares Th' had neare bin freed from their slauish fearse Of tyrany opression and th Bishops pride Iudges and Lawyers a wicked crewe beside Of Docters procters that the Realme did swaye Trod vnder foote Gods truth turnd night to day Strove to coufound great Brittayns Monarchy Iustice and truth peruert advance t i m Piety And all by this Romse doctrine to preferr Obey the Pope and serue King Lucifer That is the cause why them he doth aplaud That he thereby with them may haue the LAVD And honour due vnto his servants all That striu by him to worke great Brittaynes fall A TRVE COPPJE OF THE PETITION WHICH WAS BY THE LORDS PRESENTED VNTO THE KING at Yorke Seprember the 12. 1640. To the Kjngs most Excelent majesty THe humble petition of your Ma'ties most Loyall subiects whose names are here under subscribed in the behalfe of themselues and divers others Most gracious Sofferaigne The sence of that duty we owe to Gods sacred Majesty our nearest affection to the good and welfare of this your Realme of England haue moued vs in all humility to beseech your Royall Ma'ty to giue vs leaue to offer to your princely wisdom the apprehencion which we and others your faithfull subiects haue conceiued of the great distemper and danger now threatnig this Church state your royall person of the fittest meanes to remoue preuent the same The evils dangers whereof your Ma'ty may be pleased to take notice of are these That your Ma'ties sacred person is exposed to hazard danger in this present expedition against the Scotish Army that by ocasion of this warr your Ma'tys revenuse are much wasted your subiects burthened with cote and conduct mony billiting of souldiers other military charges divers rapinse disorders committed in severall parts of this your realme by the souldiers raised for that service the whole realme full of fearse discontentments The sundry innovations in maters of Religion the oath of 〈◊〉 lately imposed vpon the cleargy others of your Ma'ties subiects the great increase of popery imploying of popish recusants others ill affected vnto religeon-are established in places of power trust especially in comanding of men armse both in the feeld in sundry other Coumpties of this your Realme which by the lawse they are not permitted to haue any armes in their owne houses The great mischiefe that may fall vpon this Kingdom if the intention which hath beene creadibly reported of the bringing in of Irish and forraigne forces should take effect The heauy charge of marchants to the great discouragement of trade The multitude of monapolies and other pattents whereby the commodities and manufactures of this Kingdome are much burthened to the great and vniversall grivances of your people The great griefe of your subiects with the long Intermission of Parliaments the late former disoluing of such as haue bin called without the happy effects which otherwise they might haue produced For remedy whereof preuention of the danger that may ensue ro your Roy all person the whole state They do in all humility faithfullnes beseech your Ma'ty that you will be pleased to summon a Parliament in some short convenient time whereby the causes of these other great grivances which your people suffer under may be taken away the Authors councelors of them may be brought to such legall tryall condigne punnishment as the nature of their offences shall require and that the present warr may bee composed by your Ma'ties wisdome without bloudshed in such a manner
a certaine number of falce and corrupt Iudges it is seasoned with the spice of aged detestable couetuousnes bribery extortion oppression iniustice unmercifullnes and with parvertion of all the statute lawes garnished with ship money forrest mony lone mony and a multitude of Jsoprises but this dish is by his ma'ties speciall order to be preserved for his owne peculiar pallate Pope His Majesties will be done J shall be ever ready obedient to all his Ma'ties commands nor will I presume to taste of it but onely passe my iudgment on it that it is a Princely dish fit onely for his Majesties table What is the next J pray my Lord Card'i The next may it please your holynes is a large Golden charger contayning a very great number of bace minded covetuous uniust extorting oppressing Lawyers who value every word by them vttered at a barr of iustice at a farre higher price then your holynes doth your Buls issued forth for remission of sins these caterpillers his ma'ti king Lucifer hath brought into such great esteeme with all the Jnhabitants of England as that no man of quality thinks his hous to stand vnles it bee supported by one of those vermine pillars and broud of contention this dish is seasoned with the spice of extorting fees from one twenty-shillings-peece to 5. to 10. yea to 20. espeacially by those who are stiled the iudges favourites all this is giuen some times but for the speaking of 2. or 3. words it is likewise seasoned with the taking fees on both sides deluding clyents spining out the thred of an honest cause to its full length vntill the purs-strings both of plaintife and defendant crack and then they are tied together by a commission into the country where these catterpillers are reverenced and feared like so many Gods by all the people this dish is garnished with some 10000. pestifferous petty fogging sedicious 10-groat Atturnnies one of whose parfidious bills of charges in one tearme advances it-selfe sometimes vnto the sum of 5. 10. 20. yea 30 pounds espeacialy wheÌ„ he finds his clyent naturally inclyned to the conditions of an asse And on every of these garnishes haÌ„gs 5 â—onny-catching deceaitful Solissitors properly termed Lawyers-limetwigs traps or nets to catch the poore silly creatures caled clyents this dish his Ma'ty hath also reserved for his owne table Pope It is a Princely dish indeed and fit onely for the peculiar table of so great a Monarch as is our most dambnable Sofferaigne King Lucifer the opperation vertue of which dish is able to season a whole kingdome to be fit meat for his Ma'ties pallate espeacially if there be but the opperatiue spice added to it called the action of the cace But what is this dish my lord Card'i Card ' may it please your holynes this dish containes a certaine numâ—er of bace muck-wormes stiled Docters of our sivill law Chancelors and Officials this dish is also seasoned with the uniust spice of extortion oppression fraud and deceit and granished about with a most dambnable crue of Procters Notaries Registers Deligates Advocates Sumners and petty apparaters these haue for many yeares proued noteable instruments of strife and vexsation vnto the inhabitants of England and through their deceaueabl wayes haue mightily oppressed the people being not much inferior vnto the preceadent Golden charger But to this dish may it please your holynes there hath happened this yeare a very great mischance in the kooking for when wee thought it should haue bin most Laudably boyled vp to its greatest hight of Catholik operatioÌ„ there happened a Spider to fall into it through a sudden blast of Reformation which hath made it somwhat dangerous now for your holines to taste of For the Lamb that was moste richly seasoned in it is now through this sudden and unexpected misfortune Putrified and the Duck being a watry foule is quite disolved and this dish by his Ma'tys speciall order is to be left now to your holines disposall Pope J am much bound to his Ma'ty for his gracious favour to me herein J shall be very carefull through deliberation mature consideration to study for the most fittest disposall thereof during the time of my vicegerency here then return it againe to his Ma'ties disposall But I pray you my lord Cardinal what do those coper vessels containe Car'd May it please your holines this covered messe is a gallimofre or as the Fleamine cals it a Hutchepot wherein are sundry meates stued together it containes a certaine number of beasts called corrupt masters of the chancery half a dozen corrupt clarkes of the chancery also 150. Of their puni clarkes comonly termed Aturnies in chancery it also containes 6 new Aturnies of the Court of reqvests some 60 of their puny Clarkes this Hutchepot is seasoned with the spice of bribery fallswittneses stieled Knights of the poste a spice greatly in request in those Courts especialy in the examiners offices and the late Couentry affidavit office but his Ma'tys special commaÌ„d is to haue this couered mess preserued in its present condition least contention should sease amongst the inhabitants of England vnity peace take place which cannot but tend much to his Ma'tys dettryment loss of dominion in that Kingdom and to that end he hath caused the same to be sealed vp to be convayed from Couentry to Manchester by the Gâ—ulden Finche Pope Good my Lord Cardjnal J beseech you let his Ma'tys will pleasure herein be very carefully accomplished for it concerns much his Ma'ties honour and our safety But what is in this dish my Lord Card ' this may it please your holines is likewise a Hutchpot contayning meates of sundry sorts and operations it containes a certaine number of Prothonotaries Registers Clarks of the Starrechamber chancery court of requests Kings-bench common please and the excheckquer this galimofre is seasoned with subbornation of falce-witneses falcyfiing of orders and decrees it is garnished with the subtile practises of the renter warden of the fleete and his imphes as also with Killvert killfart killbennet kill Bishop and the like instruments of Lawyers gaine the opperation of this dish chiefely consists in the confusion of mens estates to extract Gold out of all mens purses to suppress vertue and peace and to advance eniquity and contention to wrong oppress every man and to do right to no man And this mess is also to be reserved for his Ma'tys Table Pope Good my Lord Cardinall J pray you let me taste of this mess the opperation whereof by your relation appeares to be admirable J wish from my heart that J might also grow capeabel of that vertue of extracting Gould out of the English nation as som of my predisessors haue done before me J confesse the study of this Art was begun by my Phisition most Laud ably but alas and we ' is mee it was marred by a robustious storm of wind out of the North
and quite spoyled by a vehment shower of puritanical raine And what is this next mess my Lord Card. May it please your holines this is also a Hutchpot containing sundry cours meates as scriveners brokers vserres iaylors balifs sergeants informers periur'd Church-wardens iustlers of the peace bumbalifs this mess is seasoned with parcehment deceit extortion vsery opression murthering of Christiā soules in prisons through famine false information iniustice neglect and tirrany is garnished with a number of irreligious Majors Sherefs Feoderies escheaters Clarkes of the syse Clarkes of the peace Constables and headboroughs But this mess is by his Ma'ties order to be disposed of vnto his servants Pope Jndeed my lord Car'd my'thinkes this mess hath a very bitter rellish with it elce my mouth is quite out of taste I conceaue it to be a mess fit onely for his Ma'ties hell hounds But What is this last mess Card ' I conceaue this mess to be very wel known to your holines for it is seasoned with moste of those operatiue spices that all the meat dresed in you holines kitchin is seasoned with this mess containes diuers iusticiall birds of midlesex as namely the long the hearne the snape the hooker the geaye and the likes of them Seasoned with the fees and bribes of all the whores and theefes that liue in Westminster Coven-Garden Hollborne Grub-street Clarckenwell Rosemary-lane Turnbull-street Rattcliff Southwarke banke-side kent-street this dish is also garnished with the new-yeares-gifts of the whores theefes and cutpurses dwelling in the fore-named severall places but this mess is by his Ma'ty reserued for his owne peculiar pallatt Pope Oh venerable Bead Oh holy Garnet O sanctified Fauxe O reverent Beckett O beloued Raviliack Campion Watson Parsons Moorton Sands and Admired Bellermine I call you all to witness this day wether you or any of you haue euer as yet bin capeable of such a delicious feast adorned with so many varieties beautified with so many severall rareties and seasoned with such delectable spices Sancte benedicto Ora pronobis And thus rendring all hvmble and harty thankes with all Reuerence in all obedience vnto his Ma'ty our moste dambenable prince and Protector Lucifer king of sticks and Phleget'on I remaine his Ma'tys humble servant and vice-gerent at his Ma'tys sole disposall dureing life PAPA ROMANORUM 666. Advices and motiues to the honorable assembly in Parliament E. S. I. E. W. J. S. The stake 's three Crownes foure nations gamsters are Ther 's three to one yet no man that dare Take these great odds the cause is as they say The fourth know's both our stock and cards we play This turns the odds and makes moste gamsters think Wee 'r but in iest and play our cards and winck The sett goes hard when gamsters think it best Though three men vie it the fourth setts his rest My Masters you that vndertake the game Looke too t your conutryes safety and her fame Are now at stake be carefull how you cutt And deale as knowne occasions put you too t The cards are strangely shufled for your parts Ti's odds you ever get the ace of harts Yet the fiue finger and some helps beside Lie in the pack disperst be those your guide That you posess to tell you what you want Least the mistake of one poore tricke should daun◠Your spirits quite and make you fling away Your liberty not to be lost by play Detest foule iugling now ti's in your powers Let none but square play pass the game is youers For here you see hell Rome and all their trayn Plott to confound all your good lawes againe Then haue a care expell Romes imphes make sure Your lawes and Liberties may still indure To future ages posterities then may Haue cause to blesse your memories for aye Lament Lament you Bushops all each weare his blackest gowne Hang up your Rochets on the wall your pride is going downe 2 It needs must greeue each Romish hart to heare this sadd relation All Cannons are not worth a fart made in the Conuocation 3 The Bishops holy sinod and the Priests of Baal that there Concented and concluded all are now in griviovs feare 4 To be depriu'd of Priestly stile of Coat Cannonicall And quite be banished this Ile they feare they must be all 5 Ah poore Etcetera is now dead which greeues the Bishops moste What they would haue immortall made hath now giuen vp the Gostes 6 Alas that new begotten oath like snow against the sun It did begin to melt away When th' Parliament begun 7 All Ceremonies are good cheape and I will tell you how The Tippit Hood and Surpliss eke are good for nothing now 8 And which I wis more woefull is and moste their courage quayles There was a grievious murther made among their holy rayles 9 Oh when this sadd and heavy newes vnto that Synod came The Birds and beasts were in a muse asse Wren and Duck and Lambe 10 And then a dollfull ditty these did thus lament together Alaff we must all run away when shall we run and whether 11 Shall we with Windibanck to France or fly to Holland where The Finch is flone for vs a place before hand to prepare 12 No quoath the Duck wee 'l Fly to Rome and there rest without feare Of Parliament and then the Lamb may come up in the reare 13 And ther wee 'l drinke a health to all the puritans confusion That haue thus strongly wrought our fall by parliament conclusiou The Iudges and the Lawyers all Aturnies procters Clarckes Soliciters and Advocates Must now stand in their Sarks And penuance do for all their faults Their bribes they must restore Their cheates and tricks which they did vse They practise must no more The people long they haue beguild And many a' one undonn Gods curss their wealth for this doth mel As show is by the sun Their childrne and posterity The Gallous doth devoure Themselues haue made a league with hell To raigne still by his power God is the God of vnity Of loue and peace alone But these men for deceit and strife The lik's of them there 's none 〈…〉 probatum est Receaued by me fountaine of inquity this 22th of Septemb 1641. By the helpe of Iudge Bribery and the furtherance of Lawyer impiety of Romanus Tretchery The Sum of 10 pounds of dambnable simplicity 9 pounds of Supersticious ignorance 7 pound of idolatrus Folly 6 pounds of willfull Stupidity and 3 pounds of perverssnes to and for the vse of impatience And by his appointment to be delivered vnto Gentiel prodigality to and for the vce of Mistris inconstancy Daughter and sole-heyre vnto Mistris Letchery the grand-child of Mistris Baudery dwelling next dore vnto Mistris Beggery By the new Prison neare the whipping thong At no great distance from Mr Justice Long Long hath a long time bin a knaue Receauing bribes from every slave Long euer hath a shelter bin full sure For every theefe a Cutpurss and a whore Long knows full well his Christmas how to keep On Cost of whorse those are his onely sheepe His Capons wood-Cocks Herns Snites and Geayes Providers of good cheere on all assayes Long may he feast his body fill his purss By such a crue of hellish imphes Gods curss Asuredly will fall on him and his And proue his fatall recompence for this Long may he be a knave of such great fame To all whores glory his owne eternall shame FINIS