their damnable actions for our honour We are pleased to take speciall notice of that service which they most willingly endeavoured to effect for the confusion of all the hereticks inhabiting England Scotland Ireland and the Netherlands by the late conceived Invincible Armado procured from Spain in the yeare of our raigne 5660. Which through the providence of the celestiall powers then over them and the disturbance of Martin Harper Trump here below failed of that successe which wee together with them expected and hoped for to our no lesse sorrow then theirs Nor can we but applaud the diligent care taken by our children and servants of greatest quality in that Kingdome in preventing the discovery of that Invasive plott by the hereticks and their small well-meaning State through their speedy flight to Dover Rode and private conference there with Don Oquindo the Generalissimo of Spaine to that effect All which was most exquisitely performed especially by our hispaniolized lack-latine Lord our dearely beloved servant And lastly our hope is that this present plot set on foot by these our trusty and well-beloved children and servants afore-named and by their earnest endeavours and our assistance once effected will crowne all our labours to our unspeakable terrestriall glory and their eternall favours by us to bee conferred on them in our Royall Pallace of perdition where we have already imposed our Royal command upon our trusty and wel-beloved cozen and counsellour Peter Tretyacove Chancellour Evane Becklemeesheve our Knight Marshall Richardo Slowe Treasurer and Don Serborus grand Porter of our said Pallace to give them free admittance into our Royall Presence Thus no wayes doubting of your singular care and diligence in fulfilling this our Royall will and pleasure hereby expressed we doe further impose our Royall favour and Princely respect to be by you presented unto our trusty and wel-beloved cozen and counsellour your present Nuntio in the Court of England as also unto our beloved children and servants the Bishops Jesuites Priests and Seminaries our faithfull agents in this invincible plot and also to all our faithfull subjects and servants the Roman Catholicks of England We are pleased to remaine your Royall Soveraigne and Patron of all your damnable plots and stratagems now in hand Given at out Infernall Pallace of perdition this first of September and in the 5661. yeare of our most damnable raigne Postscript Since the above-writtē we are credibly informed of the intention of a most scandalous Petition to be delivered by a small number of hereticall Lords unto their King at York which doth not a little touch our honour the discovery of this our present stratagem Our expresse will pleasure is that there be some speedy course taken for the suppressing of the same and the authors thereof severely punished and Pomfret Castle allotted unto them for their abode untill our will and pleasure be further knowne and this our designe be effected of which faile you not as you tender our Royall favour the successe of this our designe and your owne safety Farewell Antonio Furioso Diabolo Principalio Secretario Consider this and marke the substance well It seemes a letter from the Feind of hell What ere the form or method seeme to be Th' intent thereof was quite the contrarie Had not this rung a knell in some mens eares They 'd nea'r been freed from their slavish feares Of tyranny oppression and th' Bishops pride Judges and Lawyers a wicked crew beside Of Doctors Proctors that the Realm did sway Trod under foot Gods truth turn'd night to day Strove to confound Great Brittains Monarchy Justice and Truth pervert advanc't impiety And all by this Romes doctrine to prefer Obey the Pope and serve King Lucifer That is the cause why them he doth applaud That he thereby with them may have the LAUD And honour due unto his servants all That strive by him to worke Great Brittains fall A true Coppie of the Petition which was by the Lords presented unto the KING at York September the 12. 1640. To the Kings most Excellent Majesty THe humble Petition of your Majesties most loyall subjects whose names are here under subscribed in the behalfe of themselves and divers others Most gracious Soveraigne The sense of that duty we owe to Gods sacred Majesty and our nearest affection to the good and welfare of this your Realm of England have moved us in all humility to beseech your Royall Majesty to give us leave to offer to your Princely wisdom the apprehension which we others your faithful subjects have conceived of the great distemper and danger now threatning this Church and State your Royall person and of the fittest means to remove and prevent the same The evils and dangers whereof your Majesty may be pleased to take notice of are these That your Majesties sacred person is exposed to hazard danger in this present expedition against the Scottish Army and that by occasion of this warre your Majesties revenues are much wasted your subjects burthened with cote and conduct mony billiting of souldiers and other military charges and divers rapines disorders committed in severall parts of this your Realm by the souldiers raised for that service and the whole Realme full of feares and discontentments The sundry innovations in matters of Religion the oath of Canons lately imposed upon the Clergy and others of your Majesties subjects the great increase of Popery and imploying of Popish Recusants and others ill affected unto Religion are established in places of power trust especially in commanding of men armes both in the field in sundry other Counties of this your Realm which by the lawes they are not permitted to have any armes in their owne houses The great mischiefe that may fall upon this Kingdom if the intention which hath beene credibly reported of the bringing in of Irish and forraigne forces should take effect The heavy charge of Merchants to the great discouragement of trade The multitude of Monopolies and other Patents whereby the commodities and manufactures of this Kingdome are much burthened to the great and universall grievances of your people the great griefe of your subjects with the long intermission of Parliaments and the late and former dissolving of such as have beene called without the happy effects which otherwise they might have produced for remedy whereof and prevention of the danger that may ensue to your Royall person the whole state They do in all humility faithfulnesse beseech your Majesty that you will be pleased to summon a Parliament in some short and convenient time whereby the causes of these and other great grievances which your people suffer under may be taken away the Authors Counsellors of them may be brought to such legall tryal condigne punishment as the nature of their offences shall require and that the present warre may be composed by your Majesties wisdom without bloudshed in such a manner as may conduce to the honour
bribery extortion oppression injustice unmercifulnesse and with pervertion of all the statute lawes garnished with ship-money forrest-money lone-money and a multitude of Isoprises but this dish is by his majesties speciall order to be preserved for his owne peculiar palate Pope His majesties will be done I shall ever be ready obedient to al his majesties commands nor wil I presume to taste of it but onely passe my judgement on it that it is a Princely dish fit onely for his majesties table What is the next I pray my Lord Card. The next may it please your Holinesse is a large golden charger contayning a very great number of base-minded covetous unjust extorting and oppressing Lawyers who value every word by them uttered at a barre of Justice at a farre higher price then your Holinesse doth your Buls issued forth for remission of sins and these caterpillars his majesty king Lucifer hath brought into such great esteeme with all the Inhabitants of England as that no man of quality thinks his house to stand unlesse it be supported by one of those vermin pillars brood of contention this dish is seasoned with the spice of extorting fees from one 20 shillingspeece to 5 to 10. yea to 20 especially by those who are stiled the Judges favourites all this is given sometimes but for the speaking of two or three words it is likewise seasoned with the taking fees on both sides deluding Clyents spinning out the thread of an honest cause to its full length until the purs-strings both of Plaintife and defendant cracke and then they are tyed together by a commission into the country where these caterpillers are reverenced and feared like so many gods by all the people this dish is garnished with some 10000. pestiferous pettifogging seditious ten-groat-Atturnies one of whose perfidious bils of charges in one tearme advances it selfe sometimes unto the sum of 5 10. 20. yea 30. pounds especially when he finds his Clyent naturally inclined to the conditions of an asse And on every of these garnishes hanges five cony-catching deceitfull Solicitors properly termed lawyers-lime-twigs traps or nets to catch the poor silly creatures called Clyents and this dish his majesty hath also reserved for his own table Pope It is a Princely dish indeed and fit onely for the peculiar table of so great a Monarch as is our most damnable soveraigne King Lucifer the operation and vertue of which dish is able to season a whole kingdome to be fit meat for his majesties palate especially if there be but the operative spice added to it call'd the action of the Case But what is this dish my Lord Cardinall Card. May it please your Holinesse this dish containes a certain number of base muck-worms stiled Doctors of our Civill Law Chancellors and Officials this dish is also seasoned with the unjust spice of extortion oppression fraud and deceit and garnished about with a most damnable crue of Proctors Notaries Registers Deligates Advocates Sumners and petty Apparaters these have for many yeares proved notable instruments of strife and vexation unto the Inhabitants of England and through their deceiveable wayes have mightily oppressed the people being not much inferiour unto the precedent Golden Charger But to this dish may it please your Holinesse there hath happened this year a very great mischance in the cooking for when we thought it should have bin most Laudably boyled up to its greatest height of Catholick operation there happened a Spider to fall into it through a sudden blast of reformation which hath made it somewhat dangerous now for your holinesse to taste of for the Lamb that was most richly seasoned in it is now through this sudden unexpected misfortune putrified and the Duck being awatry foule is quite dissolved and this dish by his majesties speciall order is to be left now to your holinesse disposall Pope I am much bound to his majesty for his gracious favour to me herein I shall be very carefull through deliberation and mature consideration to study for the most fittest disposall thereof during the time of my vicegency here and then returne it againe to his Majestyes disposall But I pray you my Lord Cardinal what do those coper vessels contain Card. may it please your holinesse this covered messe is a gallimophre or as the Flemine cals it a Hutchpot wherin are sundry meats stued together it containes a certaine number of beasts called corrupt masters of the Chancery and halfe a dozen corrupt clarks of the chancery also 150. of their puny clarks commonly termed Atturnies in chancery it also containes 6 new Atturnies of the Court of requests and some 60 of their puny clarks this Hutchpot is seasoned with the spice of bribery false witnesses stiled Knights of the poste a spice greatly in request in those Courts especially in the examiners offices and the late Coventry affidavit office but his majesties speciall command is to have this covered mispreserved in its present condition least contention should cease amongst the inhabitants of England and unity and peace take place which cannot but tend much to his majesties detriment and losse of dominion in that Kingdome and to that end he hath caused the same to be sealed up and to be conveyed from Coventry to Manchester by the goulden-Finche Pope Good my Lord Cardinall I beseech you let his majesties will and pleasure herein be very carefully accomplished for it concerns much his majestyes honour and our safety But what is in this dish my Lord Card. This may it please your holines is likewise a Hutchpot contayning meates of sundry sorts and operations it containes a certaine number of Prothonotaries Registers and Clarks of the Star Chamber Chancery Court of Request Kings-Bench Common Pleas and the Exchecker this galimofre is seasoned with subornation of false-witnesses falsifying of orders and decrees it is garnished with the subtill practises of the renter warden of the fleet and his imphes as also with Kilvert kilfart kilbennet kill Bishop and the like instruments of Lawyers gaine the operations of this dish chiefly consists in the confusion of mens estates to extract Gold out of all mens purses to suppresse vertue and peace and to advance iniquity and contention to wrong and oppresse every man and to do right unto no man And this messe is also to be reserved for his Majesties Table Pope Good my Lord Cardinal I pray you let me taste of this messe the operation whereof by your relation appeares to be admirable I wish from my heart that I might also grow capeable of that vertue of extracting Gold out of the English nation as some of my predecessors have don before me I confesse the study of this Art was begun by my Phisition most laudadly but alasse and woe is me it was marred by a robustuous storme of winde out of the North and quite spoyled a vehement shower of puritanicall raine and what is the next messe my Lord Card. May it please your holinesse this is also a Hutchpot
containing sundry course meats as scriveners brokers usurers jailors baliss sergeants informers perjured Chuch-wardens justlers of the peace and bumbailifs this messe is seasoned with parchment deceit extortion usury oppression murdering of Christian souls in prisons through famine false information injustice neglect and tyranny and is garnished with a number of irreligious Maiors Sherifs Feoderies escheaters Clarkes of the syse Clarcks of the peace Constables and headboroughs But this messe is by his majesties order to be disposed of unto his servant Pope Indeed my Lord Card. me thinks this Messe hath a very bitter rellish with it else my mouth is quite out of taste I confesse it to be a messe fit onely for his majesties Hell-hounds But what is this last messe Card. I conceive this messe to be very well known to your holinesse for it is seasoned with most of those operative spices that all the meat dressed in your holines kitchen is seasoned with this mess contains divers justicial birds of Middlesex as namely the Long the Hearn the Snape the Hooker the Geay the likes of them Seasoned with the fees and bribes of all the whores and theeves that live in Westminster Coven-Garden Holborn Grub-street Clarkenwell Rosemary-lane Turnbull-street Ratcliff Southwark Bank-side and Kent-street this dish is also garnished with the New-yearsgifts of the whores theeves and cutpurses dwelling in the forenamed severall places but this Messe is by his majestie reserved for his owne peculiar pallate Pope Oh venerable Bead Oh holy Garnet O sanctified Faux O reverend Becket O beloved Ravilliack Campion Watson Parsons Morton Sands and admired Bellarmine I call you all to witnesse this day whether you or any of you have ever as yet been capeable of such a delicious feast adorned with so many varieties beautified with so many severall rarieties and seasoned with such delectable spices Sancte â—dicte Orâ— pro nobis And thus rendring all humble and hearty thanks with all reverence in all obedience unto his Majestie our most damnable prince and Protector Lucifer King of Sticks and Phlegeton I remaine his majesties humble servant and Vice gerent at his majesties sole disposall during life PAPA ROMANORUM Advices and motives to the Honourable Assembly in Parliament E. S. I. The stake 's three Crowns foure Nations gamsters are E. W. I. S. Ther 's three to one and yet no man that dare Take these great odds the cause is as they say The fourth knows both our stock cards we play This turnes the odds and makes most gamesters thinke Wee 'r but in jest and play our Cards and winke The Sett goes hard when gamesters thinke it best Though three men vie it the fourth sets his rest My Masters you that undertake the game Looke to 't your Countries safety and her fame Are now at stake be carefull how you cut And deale as knowne occasions put you to 't The Cards are strangely shuffled for your parts 'T is odds you ever get the ace of harts Yet the five finger and some helps beside Lie in the pack disperst be those your guide That you possesse to tell you what you want Least the mistake of one poore tricke should daunt Your spirits quite and make you fling away Your liberty not to be lost by play Detest foule jugling now 't is in your powers Let none but square play passe the game is yours For here you see Hell Rome and all their traine Plot to confound all your good Lawes againe Then have a care expell Romes imphes make sure Your Lawes and Liberties may still indure To future ages posterities then may Have cause to blesse your memories for aye LAment lament you Bishops all each weare his blackest gowne Hang up your Rochets on the wall your pride is going downe It needs must grieve each Romish heart to heare this sad relation All Cannons are not worth a fart made in the Convocation The Bishops holy Synod and the Priests of Baal that there Consented and concluded all are now in grievous feare To be depriv'd of Priestly stile of Coat Canonicall And quite be banished this Ile they feare they must be all Ah poore Etcetera is now dead which grieves the Bishops most What they would have immortall made hath now given up the Ghost Alas I what new begotten oath like snow against the Sun It did begin to melt away when th' Parliament begun All Ceremonies are good cheape And I will tell you how The Tippit Hood and Surplisse eke are good for nothing now And which I wâ—s more woefull is and most their courage quayles There was a grievous murther made among their holy Rayles Oh when this sad and heavy newes unto that Synod came The Birds and Beasts were in a muse Asse Wren and Duck and Lambe And then a dolefull ditty these did thus lament together Alas we must all runne away when shall we run and whether Shall we with Windibanke to France or flie to Holland where The Finch is flown for us a place before hand to prepare No quoth the Duck wee 'l fly to Rome and there rest without feare Of Parliament and then the Lambe may come up in the reare And there wee 'l drinke a health to all the Puritans confusion That have thus strongly wrought our fall by Parliament conclusion The Judges and the Lawyers all Atturnies Proctors Clarkes Soliciters and Advocates Must now stand in their Sarkes And penance doe for all their faults Their bribes they must restore Their cheats and tricks which they did use They practise must no more The people long they have beguil'd And many a one undone Gods curse their wealth for this doth melt As snow is by the Sunne Their children and posterity The Gallowes doth devoure Themselves have made a league with hell To raigne still by his power God is the God of unity Of love and peace alone But these men for deceit and strife The like of them there 's none Probatum est Received by me Fountaine of iniquity this 22. of September 1641. by the helpe of Judge Bribery and the furtherance of Lawyer Impiety of Romanus Treachery the summe of 10. pounds of damnable simplicity 9. pounds of superstitious ignorance 7. pounds of idolatrous folly 6. pounds of wilfull stupidity and 3. pounds of perversenesse to and for the use of Impatience And by his appointment to be delivered unto gentle Prodigality to and for the use of Mistris Inconstancy daughter and sole heire unto Mistris Letchery the grand-child of Mistris Bawdery dwelling next doore unto Mistris Beggery By the new Prison neare the whipping thong At no great distance from M. Iustice Long Long hath a long time beene a knave Receiving bribes from every slave Long ever hath a shelter beene full sure For every theefe a Cutpurse and a Whore Long knowes full well his Christmas how to keepe On cost of Whores those are his onely sheepe His Capons Wood-cocks Sheeps-heads Sâ—ites and Geayes Providers of good cheere on all assayes Long may he feast his body fill his purse By such a crue of hellish imphes Gods curse Assuredly will fall on him and his And prove his fatall recompence for this Long may he be a knave of such great fame To all Whores glory his owne eternall shame FINIS