King and his Royal Brother defend his Cause and assert his Right without the fear of a taste of the Old Sequestration call'd a Fine Guard the Illustrious Paire good Heaven from Hâ—llâ—sh Plots and all the Devilish matchinations of Factious Cruelties and you great Sir whose Merits have so justly deserv'd that glorious Command so lately trusted to your Care which Heaven increase and make your glad Regiment Armyes for our safety May you become the great Example of Loyalty and Obedience and stand a firm and unmoveable Pillar to Monarchy a Noble Bull-work to Majesty defend the Sacred Cause imploy all that Youth Courage and Noble Conduct which God and Nature purposely has endued you with to serve the Royal Intrest You Sir who are obliged by a double Duty to Love Honour and Obey his Majesty both as a Father and a King O undissolvable Knot O Sacred Vnion what Duty what Love what Adoration can express or repay the Debt we owe the first or the Alegiance due to the last but where both meet in one to make the Tye Eternal Oh vvhat Counsel what Love of Power what fancied Dreams of Empire what fickle Popularity can inspire the heart of man or any Noble mind with Sacreligious thoughts against it can harbour or conceive a stubborn disobedience Oh what Son can desert the Cause of an Indulgent Parents what Subject of such a Prince without renouncing the Glory of his Birth his Loyalty and good Nature Ah Royal lovely Youth bevvare of false Ambition wisely believe your Elevated Glory at least more happy then a Kings you share their Ioys their pleasures and magnificence without the toiles and business of a Monarch their carefull dayes and restless thoughtful nights know you are blest with all that Heaven can give or you can wish your Mind and Person such so excellent that Love knows no fault it would wish to mend nor Envy to increase blest with a Princess of such undisputable charming Beauty as if Heaven designing to take a peculiar care in all that concerns your happiness had form'd her on purpose to compleat it Haile happy glorious Paire the perfect joy and pleasure of all that look on ye for whom all Tongues and Hearts have Prayers and Blessings May you out-live Sedition and see your Princely Race as Numerous as Beautifull and those all great and Loyal Supporters of a long Race of Monarchs of this Sacred Line This shall be the perpetuall wish this the Eternal Prayer of SIR Your Graces most Humble and most Obedient Servant A. Behn PROLOGUE Spoken by the Ghost of Huson ascending from Hell drest as a Cobler I Am the Ghost of him who was a true Son Of the late GOOD OLD CAVSE Ecliped Huson Rous'd by strange scandal from th' eternal flame With noise of Plotts of wonderous birth and name Whilst the sly Jesuit robs us of our fame Can all their Conclave tho' with Hell th' agree Act mischief equal to Presbittery Look back on our success in Forty One Was ever braver Villanies carryed on Or new ones now more hopefully begun And shall our unsuccess our merit lose And make us quit the Glory of our Cause No Hire new Villains Rogues without remorse And let no Law nor Conscience stop your course Let Polititions order the Confusion And let the Saints pay Pious Contribution Pay those that Rail and those that can delude With scribling Nonsence the Loose Multitude Pay well your Witnesses they may not run To the right side and tell who set 'em on Pay 'em so well that they may ne'r Recant And so turn Honest meerly out of want Pay Juries that no formal Laws may harm us Let Treason be secur'd by Ignoramus Pay Bully Whig who Loyal writers bang And honest Tories in Effigie hang Pay those that burn the Pope to please the fools And dayly pay Right Honourable Tooles Pay all the Pulpit knaves that Treason brew And let the zealous Sisters pay 'em too Justices bound by Oath and obligation Pay them the utmost price of their Damnation Not to disturb our useful Congregation Nor let the Learned Rabble be forgot Those Pious hands that crown our hopeful Plott No Modern States-men cry t is Lunacy To barter Treason with such Rogues as we But subtiller Oliver did not disdain His Mightier Politiques with ours to joyn I for all uses in a State was able Cou'd Mutiny cou'd fight hold forth and Cobble Your lazy State man may sometimes direct But your small busie knaves the Treason Act. The Actors Names 1. Lord Fleetwood 2. Lord Lambert Competitors for the Crown but Lambert is General of the Army Lord Wariston Chairman of the Committee of Safety Hewson Desbro Duckingfield Corbet Commanders and Committee men 3. Lord Witlock Ananias Gogle Lay Elder of Clements Parish A Rable Of the sanctified Mobily Corporal Right An Oliverian Commander but honest and a Cavelier in his heart Loveless A Royalist a man of Honor loves Lady Lambert Freeman His friend of the same Character in love with Lady Desbro Lady Lambert In love with Loveless Lady Desbro In love with Freeman Lady Fletwood Lady Cromwell Gilliflower Lady Lamberts Old Woman Several Ladies For Redress of Grievances Two Pages To Lady Lambert Page To Lady Desbro Footmen Fidlers and a Bâ—nd of Loyal City Apprentices THE ROVND-HEADS OR THE Good Old Cause ACT. I. Scene I. The Street Enter three Souldiers and Corporal Right Cor. AH Rogues the World runs finely round the bus'ness is done 1 Sould. Done the Town 's our own my fine Rascal 2 Sould. We 'll have Harlots by the Belly Sirrah 1 Sould. Those are Commodities I confess I wou'd fain be truckâ—ing for but no words of that Boy Cor. Stand who go's there To them a Ioyner and Felt-maker 1 Sould. Who are you for hah Ioyn Are for Friend we are for Gad and the Lord Fleetwood 1 Sould. Fleetwood knock 'em down Fleetwood that snivelling Thief Felt. Why Friends who are ye for Cor. For who shou'd we be for but Lambert Noble Lambert Is this a time o' th' day to declare for Fleetwood with a Pox indeed i' th morning 't was a Question had like to have been decided with push a Pike 2 Sould. Dry blows wou'd ne'r a don 't some must have sweat blood for 't but 't is now decided Ioyn Decided 2 Sould. Yes decided Sir without your Rule for 't Ioyn Decided by whom Sir by us the Free-born Subjects of England by the Honourable Committee of Safety or the Right Reverend City without which Sir I humbly conceive your Declaration for Lambert is illegal and against the Property of the People 2 Sould. Plain Lambert here 's a sawcy Dog of a Joyner Sirrah get ye home and mind your Trade and save the Hang-man a labour Ioyn Look ye Friend I fear no Hang-man in Christendom for Conscience and Publick good for Liberty and Property I dare as far as any man 2 Sould. Liberty and Property with a pox in the mouth of a Joyner you are
a pretty Fellow to settle the Nation what says my Neighbour Felt-maker Felt. Why verily I have a high respect for my honourable Lord Fleetwood he is my intimate Friend and till I find his Party the weaker I hope my Zeal will be strengthened for him 2 Sould. Zeal for Fleetwood Zeal for a Halter and that 's your due Why what has he ever done for you Can he lead you out to Battel Can he silence the very Cannon with his Eloquence alone Can he talk or fight or Felt. But verily he can pay those that can and that 's as good and he can pray 2 Sould. Let him pray and we 'll fight and see whose bus'ness is done first We are for the General who carries charms in every syllable can act both the Souldier and the Courtier at once expose his Breast to dangers for our sakes and tell the rest of the pretending Slaves a fair Tale but hang 'em sooner than trust ' em 1 Soul Ay ay a Lambert a Lambert he has courage Fleetwood's an Ass to him Felt. Hum here 's Reason Neighbour to the Ioyner Ioyn That 's all one we do not act by reason Corp. Fleetwood's a Coward 2 Sould. A Blockhead 1 Sould. A snivelling Fool a General in the Hangings no better Ioyn What think ye then of Vane 2 Sould. As of a Fool that has dreamt of a new Religion and only fit to reign in that Fifth Monarchy he preaches so much up but no King in this Age. Felt. What of Haslerig 2 Sould. A Hangman for Haslerig I cry No no One and all a Lambert a Lambert he is our General our Protector our King our Keiser our even what he pleases himself 1 Sould. Well if he pleases himself he pleases me 2 Sould. He 's our Rising Sun and we 'll adore him for the Speaker's Glory 's set Cor. At nought Boyes how the Rogue look'd when his Coach was stop'd Ioyn Under favour what said the Speaker 2 Sould. What said he prethee what cou'd he say that we wou'd admit for Reason Reason and our bus'ness are two things Our Will was Reason and Law too and the Word of Command lodg'd in our Hilts Cobbet and Duckenfield show'd 'em Cock-pit Law Cor. He understood not Souldiers Dialect the Language of the Sword puzled his Understanding the Keeneness of which was too sharp for his Wit and over-rul'd his Roles therefore he very mannerly kiss'd his hand and wheel'd about 2 Sould. To the place from whence he came Cor. And e're long to the Place of Execution 1. Sould. No damn him he 'll have his Clergy Ioy. Why is he such an Infidel to love the Clergy Cor. For his Ends But come le ts go drink the General 's Health Lambert not Fleetwood that Son of a Custard always quaking 2 Sould. Ay Ay Lambert I say besides he 's a Gentleman Felt. Come Come Brother Souldier let me tell you I fear you have a Stewart in your Belly Cor. I am sure you have a Rogue in your Heart Sirrah which a Man may perceive through that sanctify'd Dogs Face of yours and so get ye gone ye Rascals and delude the Rabble with your canting Politicks Everyone beats ' em Felt. Nay and you be in Wrath I 'll leave you Ioy. No matter Sir I 'll make you know I 'm a Free-born Subject there 's Law for the Righteous Sir there 's Law Go out Cor. There 's Halters ye Rogues 2 Sould. Come Lads let 's to the Tavern and drink Success to change I doubt not but to see 'em chop about till it come to our great Heroe again Come to the Tavern Going out are met by Loveless and Freeman who enter and stay the Corporal Cor. I 'll follow ye Comrade presently Ex. the rest of the Souldiers Save ye noble Collonel Free How is 't Corporal Cor. A brave World Sir full of Religion Knavery and Change we shall shortly see better days Free I doubt it Corporal Cor. I 'le warrant you Sir but have you had never a Billet no Present nor Love-remembrance to day from my good Lady Desbro Free None and wonder at it Hast thou not seen her Page to day Cor. Faith Sir I was imploy'd in Affairs of State by our Protector that shall be and could not call Free Protector that shall be who 's that Lambert or Fleetwood or both Cor. I care not which so it be a Change but I mean the General but Sir my Lady Desbro is now at Morning Lecture here hard by with the Lady Lambert Lov. Seeking the Lord for some great Mischief or other Free We have been there but could get no Opportunity of speaking to her Loveless know this Fellow he 's honest and true to the Heroe though a Red-Coat I trust him with my Love and have done with my Life Lov. Love Thou can'st never make me believe thou art earnestly in Love with any one of that damn'd Reformation Free Thou art a Fool where I find Youth and Beauty I adore let the Saint be true or false Lov. 'T is a Scandal to one of us to converse with 'em they are all sanctify'd Iilts and there can be neither Credit nor Pleasure in keeping 'em Company and 't were enough to get the Scandal of an Adherer to their devilish Politicks to be seen with ' em Free What their Wives Lov. Yes their Wives What see'st thou in 'em but Hypocrisie Make Love to 'em they answer you in Scripture Free Ay and lye with you in Scripture too Of all Whores give me your zâ—alous Whore I never heard a Woman talk much of Heaven but she was much for the Creature too What do'st think I had thee to the Meeting for Lov. To hear a Rascal hold forth for Bodkins and Thimbles Contribution my beloved to carry on the Good Cause that is Roguery Rebellion and Treason prophaning the sacred Majesty of Heaven and our glorious Sovereign Free But were there not pretty Women there Lov. Damn 'em for sighing groaning Hypocrites Free But there was one whom that handsom Face and Shape of yours gave more occasion for sighing than any Mortification caus'd by the Cant of the Lay-Elder in the half Hogs Head Did'st thou not mind her Lov. Not I damn it I was all Rage and had'st not thou restrain'd me I had certainly pull'd that Rogue of a Holder-forth by the Ears from his sanctify'd Tub. 'Sdeath he hum'd and haw'd all my Patience away nose'd and snivel'd me to Madness Heaven That thou should'st suffer such Vermin to infect the Earth such Wolves amongst thy Flocks such Thieves and Robbers of all Laws of God and Man in thy holy Temples I rave to think to what thou' rt fall'n poor England Free But the she Saint Lov. No more were she as fair as Fancy could imagine to see her there wou'd make me loath the Form she that can listen to the dull Non-sence the bantering of such a Rogue such an illiterate Rascal must be a Fool past sense of loving Free-man Free Thou
Fleetwood Fleet. My honour'd Mother I am glad to find you here I hope we shall reconcile things between ye Verily we shou'd live in brotherly Love together come ingeniously you shall be Friends my Lady Mother Cro. Curse on th' occasion of thy being a Kin to me Flee Why an please ye forsooth Madam Cro. My Daughter had a Husband Worthy the Title of my Son in Law Ireton my best of Sons he 'd Wit and Courage And with his Councels rais'd our House to Honours Which thy impolitick Easiness pulls down And whilst you shou'd be gaining Crowns and Kingdoms Art poorly couzening of the World with fruitless Prayers Fleet. Nay I 'll warrant you Madam when there is any gadly mischief to be done I am as forward as the best but 't is good to take the Lard along with us in every thing I profess ingeniously as I am an honest man verily ne're stir I shall act as becomes a good Christian. Cro. A Good Coxcombe Dost thou not see her reverend Highness there That Minion now assumes that glorious Title I once and my Son Richard's Wife enjoy'd Whilst I am call'd the Night Mare of the Commonwealth But wou'd I were I 'd so hag-ride the perjur'd Slaves Who took so many Oaths of true Allegiance To my great Husband first and then to Richard Who whilst they reign'd were most illustrious Most high and mighty Princes whilst fawning Poets Write Panegyricks on 'em And yet no sooner was The wonderous Heroe dead but all his glorious Titles fell to Monster of Mankind Murderer Of Piety Traytor to Heav'n and Goodness Flee Who calls him so Pray take their Names down I profess ingeniously forsooth Madam verily I 'll order 'em as I am here I will Cro. Thou alas they scorn so poor a thing as thou Fleet. Do they ingeniously I 'll be even with 'em forsooth Mother as I am here I will and there 's an end on 't Cro. I wou'd there were an end of our disgrace and shame which is but just begun I fear What will become of that fair Monument Thy careful Father did erect for thee to La. Fleetw Yet whilst he liv'd next to thy Husband Ireton Lest none shou'd do it for thee after he were dead The Malice of proud Lambert will destroy all Fleet. I profess Madam you mistake my good Lord Lambert he 's an honest man and fears the Lard he tells me I am to be the man verily he do's after all 's done Cro. Yes after all 's done thou art the man to be pointed at Fleet. Nay ingeniously I scorn the words so I do I know the great Work of Salvation to the Nation is to be wrought by me verily Cro. Do Cant on till Heav'n drop Kingdoms in thy mouth dull silly Sot thou ruine of our Interest thou fond inccorrigible easie Fool. Enter Page Pag. My Lord the Committee of Safety waits your coming Fleet. Why law you now forsooth I profess verily you are ingeniously the hardest of belief tell the honourable Lords I'm coming Go Lady mother go home with my Wife and verily you 'll see things go to your wish I must to Coach L. Fleet. Madam your humble Servant to La. Lam. Fleet. Honour'd Lady I kiss your hands Ex. Crom. Fleet. and La. Fleet. Enter Loveless Lov. Was this the thing that is to be Protector This little snivelling Fellow rule three Kingdoms But leave we Politicks and fall to Love Who deals more Joyes in one kind happy moment Than Ages of Dull Empire can produce La. Lam. Oh Gods Shall I who never yielded yet But to him to whom three Kingdoms fell a Sacrifice Surrender at first Parly Lov. Perhaps that Lover made ye gayer Presents But cou'd not render you a Heart all love Or mind embyass'd in Affairs of Blood I bring no Guilt to fright ye from my Embraces But all our hours shall be serene and soft La. Lam. Ah Gilliflower thy Aid or I 'm lost Shall it be said of me in after Ages When my great Fame 'mongst Queens shall be recorded That I ah Heav'ns regardless of my Countries Cause Espous'd the wicked Party of its Enemies The Heathenish Heroicks ah defend me Lov. Nay by all that 's La. Lam. Ah hold Do not prophane my Ears with Oaths or Execrations I cannot bear the sound Lov. Nay nay by Heav'n I 'll not depart your lodgings till that soft Love that playes so in your Eyes give me a better proof by La. Lam. Oh hold I dye if you proceed in this Abomination Lov. Why do you force me to 't d' ye think to put me off with such a Face such lips such smiles such Eyes and every Charm You 've made me mad and I shall swear my Soul away if disappointed now Gill. Ah save the Gentleman's Soul I beseech ye Madam La. Lam. I 'm much inclin'd to Acts of Piety leaning on him smiling He goes to lead her out Enter La. Desbro And you have such a Power that howe're I incommode my Honour Desbro here how unseasonably she comes La. Des. Cry mercy Madam I 'll withdraw a while La. Lam. Ah Desbro thou art come in the most lucky minute I was just on the point of falling As thou say'st these Heroicks have the strangest Power La. Des. I never knew a Woman cou'd resist ' em La. Lam. No marvel then our Husbands use 'em so betray 'em banish 'em sequester murder 'em and every way disarm ' em La. Des. But their Eyes Madam La. Lam. Ay their Eyes Desbro I wonder our Lords shou'd take away their Swords and let 'em wear their Eyes La. Desbro I 'll move it to the Committee of Safety Madam those Weapons shou'd be taken from 'em too La. Lam. Still they 'll have some to be reveng'd on us La. Des. Ay so they will My Lord says a Cavalier is a kind of Hidra knock him o' th' Head as often as you will he has still one to peep up withall Enter Page Page Madam here 's Mr. Freeman to speak with your Honour Lov. That 's a Friend of mine Madam and 't wou'd be unnecessary he saw your Highness and I together let us withdraw La. Lam. Withdraw why What will Desbro say Des. O Madam I know your Vertue and your Piety too well to suspect your Honour wrongfully 't is impossible a Lady that goes to a Conventicle twice a day besides long Prayers and lowd Psalm-singing shou'd do any thing with an Heroick against her Honour Your known Sanctity preserves you from Scandal But here 's Freeman Puts 'em in Enter Freeman Free So Madam you are very kind La. Des. My charming Freeman this tedious day of Absence has been an Age in love How hast thou liv'd without me Free Like one condemn'd sad and disconsolate And all the while you made your Husband happy La. Des. Name not the beastly Hypocrite thou know'st I make no other use of him But a dull Property to advance our Love Free And 't is but Iustice Maria he sequester'd me
Soul destin'd hers from it's first Being and one Body whole sound and in perfect Health which I here promise to pay to the said Maria upon Demand if the aforesaid Iohn Freeman be not hang'd before such Demand made Whereto I set my Hand and seal it with my Lips La. Des. And I in Consideration of such Debt do freely give unto the abovesaid Iohn Freeman the Heart and Body of the abovesaid Maria Desbro with all Appurtenances thereto belonging whenever it shall please Heav'n to bring my Husband fairly to the Gallows in a tone Free Amen kiss the Book Kisses her Ana. hums without La. Des. Hah that 's Ananias sure some Danger 's near the necessary Rascal gives us Notice of Free 't is so what wou'dst thou have me do La. Des. thou art undone if seen Here step within this Curtain He goes Enter Ananias humming and spreading his Cloak wide Desbro behind him puffing in a Chafe Des. Ads nigs what a Change is here like to be puff puff we have manag'd matters sweetly to let the Scotch General undermine us puff puff La. Des. What 's the matter Des. Nothing Cockey nothing but that we are like to return to our first nothing Ana. Yea verily when our times come but ah the great work of Reformation is not yet fully accomplished which must be wrought by the Saints and we cannot spare one of them until the Work be finish'd Des. Yea yea it is finished I doubt puff puff fye fye what a Change is here Ana. Patience ah 't is a precious Virtue Des. Patience Sir what when I shall lose so many fine Estates which did appertain to the Wicked and which I trusted had been establish'd ours and tell'st thou me of Patience puff puff walking fast Ana. How lose 'em Sir Handle the matter with Patience I hope the Committee of Safety or the Rump will not do an illegal thing to one of the Brethren Des. No No I have been a trusty Knave to them and so I have found them all to me but Monk Monk O that ever we shou'd be such blind Fools to trust an honest General Ana. Patience Sir What of him Des. I just now receiv'd private Intelligence he 's coming out of Scotland with his Forces puff puff Ana. Why let him come a Gads Name we have those will give him a civil Salute if he mean not honourably to the Commonwealth Patience Sir Des. But if he prove the stronger and shou'd chance to be so great a Traytor to us to bring in the Man the King La. Des. How the King Husband the great Heroick Free Death this Woman is a Sybill Ah Noble Monk Ana. Hum the King Des. Ah and with the King the Bishops and then where 's all our Church and Bishops Lands Oh! undone puff puff Ana. How bring in the King and Bishops my righteous Spirit is raised too I say I will excommunicate him for one of the Wicked yea for a prophane Heroick a Malignant a Tory a I say we will surround him and confound him with a mighty Host yea and fight the Lards Battel with him yea we will Des. Truckle to his Pow'r puff puff Ana. Nay I say verily nay for in Sadness I will dye in my Calling Des. So I doubt shall I which is Plowing Hedging and Ditching Ana. Yea we have the Sword of the Righteous in our hand and we will defend the mighty Revenues of the Church which the Lard hath given unto his People and chosen ones I say we will defend Des. Ah Patience Sir ah 't is a pious Virtue Ana. Ah it is Zeal in one of us the out-goings of the Spirit Enter Page Tom. Sir Will you go down to Prayers the Chaplain waits Des. No no Boy I am too serious for that Exercise I cannot now dissemble Heav'n forgive me Ana. How Sir not dissemble ah then you have lost a great Vertue indeed a very great Vertue ah let us not give away the Good Old Cause but as we have hitherto maintain'd it by Gadly cozenage and pious frauds let us persevere ah let us persevere to the end let us not lose our Heritage for a Mess of Pottage that is let us not lose the Cause for Dissimulation and Hypocrisie those two main Engines that have carry'd on the great Work Des. Verily you have prevailed and I will go take counsel of my pillow Boy call my man to undress me I 'll to bed for I am sick at heart Ex. Tom. Page Free Death what shall I do now Des. walks she whispers Ana. La. Des. You must get my man off or we 're undone Ana. Madam be comforted Heaven will bring all things about for our advantage as Des. turns La. Des. But he 's behind the Curtains man Des. turns from ' em Ana. Ah let Providence alone sâ—reads his cloak wide and goes by degrees towards the Bed Your pious Lady Sir is doubtful but I will give her ample satisfaction Des. Ah do Mr. Ananias do for she 's a good and a vertuous Lady certo she is goes close to the Bed-post and speaks over his shoulder Ana. Get ye behind my cloak La. Des. Indeed Sir your Counsel and Assistance is very comfortable Ana. We shou'd be helps meet to one another Madam Des. Alack good man â— La. Des. goes to cokes her Husb. La. Des. Ay my Dear I am so much oblig'd to him that I know not without thy thy aid how to make him amends Free So this is the first Cloak of Zeal I ever made use of An. going spreading his cloak to the door Freeman behind goes out Des. Good Lady give him this twenty pieces a dad he worthily deserves ' em gives her Gold La. Des. Indeed and so he does Dear if thou knew'st all What say you now do I not improve in Hypocrisie and shall I not in time make a precious member of your Church to Ana. Ana. Verily your Ladiship is most ingenious and expert Sir I most humbly take my leave Ex. Ananias Enter Tom Page Page My Lord my Lord Lambert has sent in all haste for you you must attend at his house immediately Des. So he has heard the News I must away let my Coach be ready Ex. Des. La. Des. How unlucky was this that Freeman shou'd be gone Sirrah run and see to o'retake him and bring him back Ex. all SCENE 2. A fine Chamber Enter Gilliflower and Loveless by dark richly drest Lov. Where am I Gilliflower Gill. In my Ladies Apartment Sir she 'll be with you presently you need not fear betraying Sir for I 'll assure you I 'm an Heroick in my heart my Husband was a Captain for his Majesty of ever blessed memory and kill'd at Naseby God be thanked Sir Lov. What pity 't is that thou shou'dst serve this Party Gill. ' Bating her Principles my Lady has good Nature enough to oblige a Servant and truly Sir my Vails were good in old Oliver's dayes I got well by that Amour between him and my Lady the man
wicked La. Lam. Hark ye thou little snivelling Hypocrite who hast no Virtue but a little Conduct in Martial Discipline who hast by Perjuries Cheats and Pious Villanies wound thy self up into the Rabbles Favour where thou may'st stand till some more great in Roguery remove thee from that height or to the Gallows if the King return Hast thou the impudence to charge my Virtue Lam. I know not Madam whether that Virtue you boast were lost or only stak't and ready for the Gamester but I am sure a Man was hid under this Carpet La. Lam. Oh Heav'ns a Man Gill. A Lord a Man Are you sure 't was a man my Lord Some Villanous Malignant I 'll warrant Lam. It may be so Gill. Alack the Wickedness of these Heroicks to hide under Carpets why they 'll have the Impudence to hide under our Petticoats shortly if your Highness take 'em not down To La. Lam. Lam. I do believe so Death a Cuckold shall that black Cloud shade all my rising Fame La. Lam. Cuckold Why is that Name so great a Stranger to ye Or has your rising Fame made ye forget How long that Cloud has hung upon your Brow 'T was once the height of your Ambition Sir When you were a poor sneeking Slave to Cromwel Then you cou'd cringe and sneere and hold the Door And give him every Opportunity Had not my Piety defeated your Endeavours Lam. That was for Glory Who wou'd not be a Cuckold to be great If Cromwel leap'd into my Saddle once I 'll step into his Throne for 't but to be pointed at By Rascals that I rule 't is insupportable La. Lam. How got this Fellow drunk call up my Officers Who dur'st deliver him this Quantity of Wine Send straight in my Name to summon all the Drunken Committee of Safety to my Presence By Heav'n I 'll show you Sir yes they shall See what a fine King they 'r like to have In Honest Gadly Sober Wise Iack Lambert Nay I 'll do 't d' ye think to take away my Honour thus I who by my sole Politicks and Management Have set you up Villain of Villains Sirrah Away summon 'em all to Gilliflower Lam. Stay be not so rash who was beneath the Carpet La. Lam. I will not answer thee Lam. Nor any living thing La. Lam. No Creature in the Room thou silly Idiot but Gilliflower and I at our Devotion praying to Heav'n for your Success to morrow and am I thus rewarded Weeps Gill. weeps too Lam. My Soul I cannot bear the sight of Tears From these dear charming Eyes La. Lam. No matter Sir the Committee shall right me Lam. Upon my Knees I ask thy Pardon Dear by all that 's good I wou'd have sworn I 'd felt something stir beneath me as I sat which threw me over La. Lam. Only your Brains turn'd round with too much drinking and dancing Exercises you are not us'd to Go sleep and settle 'em for I 'll not daign to Bed with you to Night retire as ' ere you hope to have my Aid in your Advancement to the Crown Lam. I 'm gone and once more pardon my Mistake bows and goes out Ex. Gill. La. Lam. So this fighting Fool so worshipp'd by the Rabble how meanly can a Woman make him sneeke to Loveless the happy Night 's our own Enter Gill. Loveless Lov. Excellent Creature how I do adore thee La. Lam. But you perhaps are satisfy'd already Lov. Never shou'dst thou be kind to all Eternity Thou hast one Vertue more I pay thee Homage for I heard from the Alcove how great a Mistress thou art in the dear Mystery of Jilting La. Lam. That 's the first Lesson Women learn in Conventicles Religion teaches those Maxims to our Sex by this Kings are depos'd and Commonwealths are rul'd By Jilting all the Universe is fool'd ACT V. Scene I. Street Enter Corporal half drest with Souldiers Ioyner and Felt-maker Cor. HA Rogues the City-Boys are up in Arms brave Boys all for the King now Felt. Have a Care what you say Sir but as to the City's being in Mutiny that makes well for us we shall fall to our old Trade of plundering something will fall to the Righteous and there is Plunder enough Corp. You plunder Sirrah knock him down and carry him into the Guard-room and secure him Two Souldiers seize him 1 Sould. They say the Committee of Safety sat all Night at General Lambert's about some great Affair some rare Change Rogues 2 Sould. Yes and to put off Sorrow they say were all right reverendly drunk too Cor. I suppose so there is some heavenly matter in hand there was Treason cry'd out at the General 's last Night and the Committee of no Safety all ran away 1 Sould. Or rather reel'd away Cor. The Ladies squeek'd the Lords fled and all the House was up in Arms. Felt. Yea and with Reason they say for the Pope in diguise was found under the Ladies Bed and two huge Jesuits as big as the Tall Irish-man with Blunderbusses having as 't is said a design to steal the Crown now in Custody of the General 2 Sould. Good lack is 't possible Ioyn Nay Sir 't is true and is 't not time we look'd about us Cor. A Pox upon ye all for lying Knaves secure 'em both on the Guard till farther Order and let us in to th' City-boys hay for Lumbard-street 2 Sould. Ay hay for Lumbard-street there 's a Shop I have mark'd out for my own already 1 Sould. There 's a handsom Citizens Wife that I have an Eye upon her Husband 's a rich Banker I 'll take t'one with t'other Ioy. You are mistaken Sir that plunder is reserv'd for us if they begin to mutiny That wicked City that is so weary of a Commonwealth 2 Sould. Yes they 'r afraid of the Monster they themselves have made Enter Lov. and Free in disguise Cor. Hah my Noble Collonel what in Disguise Free We have made our Escapes and hope to see better times shortly the Noble Scotch General is come Boys Enter Captain of the Prentices and a great Gang with him arm'd with Staffs Swords c. Cap. Come my Lads since you have made me Captain I 'll lead you bravely on I 'll dye in the Cause or bring you off with Victory 1 Pren. Here 's a Club shall do some Execution I 'll beat out Hewson's t'other Eye I scorn to take him on the blind Side Capt. In the first Place we must all sign a Petition to my Lord Mayor 2 Pren. Petitions we 'll have no Petitions Captain we are for Club Law Captain Cap. Obey or I leave you All. Obey Obey Capt. Look ye we 'll petition for an honest Free Parliament I say 1 Pren. No Parliament no Parliament we have had too much of that Mischief already Captain All. No Parliament no Parliament Capt. Farewel Gentlemen I thought I might have been heard Free Death Sirs you shall hear the Captain out All. We obey we obey Capt. I say an
whom do you derive your Title of Ladies La. Feet Have a care how you usurp what 's not you own Lov. How the Devil rebukes Sin aside La. Des. From whom had you your Honours Women Lov. From our Husbands Gill. Husbands who are they and of what standing 2 Lad. Of no long standing I confess Gill. That 's a common Grievance indeed La. Des. And ought to be redress'd La. Lam. And that shall be taken into consideration write it down Gilliflower Who made your Husband a Knight Woman Lov. Oliver the first an 't please ye La. Lam. Of horrid Memory write that down who yours 2 La. Richard the Fourth an 't like your Honour Gill. Of sottish Memory Shall I write that down too La. Des. Most remarkably Cro. Heav'ns Can I hear this Profanation of our Royal Family aside La. Lam. I wonder with what impudence Noll and Dick cou'd Knightifie your Husbands for 't is a Rule in Heraldry that none can make a Knight but him that is one 'T is Sancha Pancha's Case in Don Quixot Crom. How dare you question my Husband's Authority rises in Anger Who nobly won his Honour in the Field Not like thy sneaking Lord who gain'd his Title From his Wife's gay Love-tricks Bartering her Honour for his Coronet La. Lam. Thou ly'st my Husband earn'd it with his Sword braver and juster than thy bold Usurper who waded to his Glory through a Sea of Royal Blood La. Des. Sure Loveless has done good on her and converted her La. Fleet. Madam I humbly beg you will be patient You 'll ruine all my Lord's Designes else Women proceed to your Grievances both publick and private Lov. I petition for a Pension my Husband deceas'd was a constant active man in all the late Rebellion against the Man he plunder'd my Lord Capel he betray'd his dearest Friend Brown Bushel who trusted his Life in his hands and several others plundering their Wives and Children even to their Smocks La. Lam. Most considerable Service and ought to be consider'd 2 La. And most remarkably at the Tryal of the late Man I spit in 's Face and betray'd the Earl of Holland to the Parliament Crom. In the King's Face you mean it shew'd your zeal for the Good Cause 2 La. And 't was my Husband that headed the Rabble to pull down Gog and Magog the Bishops broke the Idols in the Windows and turn'd the Churches into Stables and dens of Thieves rob'd the Altar of the Cathedral of the twelve pieces of Plate call'd the twelve Apostles turn'd eleven of 'em into Money and kept Iudas for his own use at home La. Fleet. On my word most wisely perform'd note it down 3 La. And my Husband made Libels on the Man from the first Troubles to this day defam'd and profan'd the Woman and her Children printed all the man's Letters to the Woman with Burlesque Marginal Notes pull'd down the sumptuous Shrines in Churches and with the golden and Popish Spoils adorn'd his own Houses and Chimney Pieces La. Lam. We shall consider these great Services Lov. To what a height is Impudence arriv'd aside La. Lam. Proceed to private Grievances Lov. An 't please your Honours my Husband prayes too much which both hinders his private Bus'ness at home and his Publick Services to the Commonwealth La. Lam. A double Grievance set it down Gilliflower Lov. And then he rails against the Whore of Babylon and all my Neighbours think he call me Whore Crom. A most unpardonable fault La. Lam. We 'll have that rectify'd it will concern us Lov. Then he never kisses me but he sayes a long Grace which is more mortifying than inviting La. Des. That is the fault of all the new Saints which is the reason their Wives take a pious care as much as in them lies to send 'em to Heaven by making 'em Cuckolds La. Fleet. A very charitable work and ought to be encourag'd Loveless gives in a Petition to Gilliflower Gill. The humble Petition of the Lady Make-shift reads Heav'ns Madam here is many thousand hands to 't of the distressed Sex All. Read it Gill. reads Whereas there pass'd an Act Iune 24th against Fornication and Adultery to the great detriment of most of the young Ladies Gentlewomen and Commonalty of England and to the utter decay of many whole Families especially when married to old men your Petitioners most humbly beg your Honours will take this great Grievance into Mature Consideration and that the said Act may be repealed a blessing on 'em they shall have my hand too La. Lam. We acknowledge there are many Grievances in that Act but there are many Conveniences too for it ties up the Villanous Tongues of men from boasting our Favours Crom. But as it layes a Scandal on Society 't is troublesom Society being the very Life of a Republick Peters the first and Martin the Second Lov. But in a Free State why shou'd not we be free La. Des. Why not we stand for the Liberty and Property of our Sex and will present it to the Committee of Safety Lov. Secondly we desire the Heroicks vulgarly call'd the Malignants may not be look'd on as Monsters for assuredly they are Men and that it may not be charg'd to us as a Crime to keep 'em company for they are honest men 2 L. And some of 'em men that will stand to their Principles La. Lam. Is there no other honest men that will do as well 3 La. Good men are scarce La. Lam. They 're all for Heroicks sure 't is the mode to love 'em I cannot blame ' em aside Lov. And that when we go to Mornings and Evenings Lectures to Tantlings or elsewhere and either before or after visit a private Friend it may be actionable for the Wicked to scandalize us by terming of it â—busing the Creature when 't is harmless recreating the Creature All. Reason Reason Lov. Nor that any Husband shou'd interupt his Wife when at her private Devotion Enter Page La. Lam. I have been too late sensible of that Grievance Gill. And Madam I wou'd humbly pray a Patent for Scolding to ease my Spleen Pag. An please Your Highness here 's a Messenger arriv'd Post with Letters from my Lord the General Ex. Pag. La. Lam. Greater Affairs oblige us to break up the Council Rises the Women retire Enter Page with Messenger or Letters What means this Haste Opens and reads ' em Crom. Hah bless my Eye-sight she looks pale now red again some Turn to his Confusion Heav'n I beseech thee La. Lam. My Lord 's undone His Army has deserted him Left him denfenceless to the Enemies Pow'r Ah Coward Traytors Where 's that brutal Courage That made ye so successful in your Villanies Has Hell that taught ye Valour now abandon'd ye How in an Instant are my Glories fall'n Crom. Ha ha ha What has your Highness any cause of Grief Gill. Call up your Courage Madam do not let these things scoff you you may be yet a Queen Remember what Lilly
told you Madam La. Lam. Damn Lilly who with lying Prophesies has rais'd me to the hopes of Majesty a Legend of his Divels take him for 't Crom. Oh have a Care of Cursing Madam La. Lam. Screech-Owl away thy Voice is ominous Oh I cou'd rave but that it is not great And silent Sorrow has most Majesty Enter Wariston huffing War Wons Madam undone undone our honourable Committee is gone to th' Diel and the damn'd loosey Rump is aud in aud the muckle Diel set it i'solt and his Dam drink most fort Crom. The Committee dissolv'd whose wise Work was that it looks like Fleetwood's silly Politicks War Mary and y ar Ladiship 's i' th' Right 't was en the Work o' th' faud Loone the Diel brest his Wem for't Enter Hewson Desbro Whitlock Duc. and Cob. Hews So Brethren in Iniquity we have spun a fine Thread the Rump's all in all now rules the Rost and has sent for the General with Sissers and Rasor Whit. With a Sisserara you mean Hews None of your Terms in Law good Brother War Right but gen ya have any Querks in Law Mr. Lyer that will save our Crags 't will be warth a Fee Duck. We have plaid our Cards fair War Is deny that Wans Sirs ya plaid 'em faul a Fule had the shooftling of 'em and the Muckle Diel himself turn'd up Trump Whit. We are lost Gentlemen utterly lost who the Devil wou'd have thought of a Desolution Hews Is there no Remedy Duc. Death I 'le to the Scotch General turn but in time as many greater Rogues than I have done and 't will save my Stake yet Farewel Gentlemen Des. No Remedy War Nene Sirs agen the Kings Evel Bread Sirs ya's ene gang tol yat Stall agen Is en follow Duckingfield Farewel Mr. Leyer La. Lam. See the Vicissitudes of Humane Glory These Rascals that but Yesterday petition'd me With humble Adoration now scarce pay Common Civilities due to my Sex alone Enter Fleetwood Cro. How now Fool what is 't that makes ye look so pertly Some mighty Business you have done I 'll warrant Fleet. Verily Lady Mother you are the strangest Body a Man cannot please you Have I not finely circumvented Lambert Made the Rump Head who have committed him to th' Tower ne're stir now that I have and I 'm the greatest Man in England as I live I am as a Man may say Crom. Yes till a greater come Ah Fool of Fools not to fore-see the Danger of that nasty Rump La. Fleet. Good Madam treat my Lord with more Respect Crom. Away fond Fool born with so little Sense To doat on such a wretched Idiot It was thy Fate in Ireton's days to love him Or you were foully scandall'd Fleet. You are not so well spoken of neither ne're stir now and you go to that I can be King to morrow if I will Crom. Thou ly'st thou wo't be hang'd first mark that I tell thee so I 'll prove Cassandra to thee and prophesie thy Doom Heav'n pays the Traytor back with equal measure Remember how you serv'd my poor Son Richard Ex. Crom. and Page Flee She 's mad Come my Dear let 's leave the House of this Villain that meant to have couzen'd me illegally of three Kingdoms but that I out-witted him at last Ex. Fleet. La. Fleet. and Pag. Enter Page La. Lam. Imprison'd too i' th' Tower What Fate is mine leans on Des. Pag. Madam the fine Heroick's come to wait on you La. Lam. Hah Loveless let him not see the Ruines of my Greatness which he foretold and kindly begg'd I wou'd usurp no more weep Enter Loveless Lov. This News has brought me back I love this Woman Vain as she is in spight of all her Fopperies of State bows to her and looks sad La. Lam. Alas I do not merit thy Respect I 'm fall'n to Scorn to Pity and Contempt weeping Ah Loveless fly the Wretched Thy Vertue is too noble to be shin'd on By any thing but rising Suns alone I 'm a declining shade Lov. By Heaven you were never great till now I never thought thee so much worth my Love My Knee and Adoration till this Minute kneels I come to offer you my Life and all The little Fortune the rude Heard has left me La. Lam. Is there such god-like Vertue in your Sex Or rather in your Party Curse on the Lies and Cheats of Conventicles That taught me first to think Heroicks Divels Blood-thirsty lewd tyrannick Salvage Monsters But I believe 'em Angels all if all like Loveless What heavenly thing then must the Master be Whose Servants are Divine Enter Page running Pag. Oh Madam all the Heroick-Boys are up in Arms and swear they 'll have your Highness dead or alive they have besieg'd the House La. Lam. Heavens the Rabble those faithless things that us'd to crowd my Coaches Wheels and stop my Passage with their officious Noise and Adoration Enter Freeman Free Loveless Thy Aid the City-Sparks are up Their zealous Loyalty admits no Bounds A glorious Change is coming and I 'll appear now bare fac'd Lov. Madam fear not the Rabble retire Freeman and I can still ' em leads her in and bows low Free My dear Maria I shall claim ye shortly L. D. Do your worst I 'm ready for the Challenge go in Ex. Lov. and Free another way SCENE The Street Enter Captain and the rest Capt. I say we 'll have the She-Polititian out she did more mischief than her Husband pittiful dittiful Lambert who is thanks be praised in the Tower to which place Lord of his mercy bring all the Kings Enemies All. Amen Amen Enter Lov. and Freeman Lov. Why how now Captain what besiege the Women No let us lead our Force to Nobler Enemies Cap. Nay noble Chief your word 's our Law Lov. No I resign that Title to the brave Scotch General who has just now enter'd the City Cap. We know it Sir Do you not observe how the Crop-ear'd Phanaticks trot out of Town The Rogues began their old belov'd Mutiny but 't wou'd not do Lov. A Pox upon 'em they went out like the Snuff of a Candle stinkingly and blinkingly 1 Pr. Ay ay let 'em hang themselves and then they are cold meat for the Devil Cap. But noble Champion I hope we may have leave to rost the Rump to Night Lov. With all our hearts here 's Money to make Fires Free And here 's for drink too 't Boyes All. Hey Via le Roy via les Heroicks go out hollowing Enter Ananias peeping Felt. and Ioyner Ana. So the Rabble's gone ah Brethren what will this wicked World come too Felt. Alack alack to no goodness you may be sure pray what 's the News Fleet peeping out of a Garret Window Fleet. Anania Anania Ana. Who calleth Ananias lo here am I. Fleet. Behold it is I look up How goeth tidings Ana. Full ill I fear 't is a bad Omen to see your Lordship so nigh Heaven when the Saints are Garettifi'd Fleet. I am