as in times of War and if you were not obstructed you would carry all before you and our Merchants Ships might lay by the Wall to Eternity for they cannot pretend to sail at that Rate Hon. Prethe don't tell me of them I have told you my mind and I am for getting of Money if I can let them look out that has the watch Fid. So they did by your Discourse and catcht you to your Cost Hon. That 's too true to make a Jest off but saving your Discourse what must I do with this Informer that Prosecutes me Fid. Why do you ask me Hon. Because I am Informed that you have taken up that Imployment and as I was unwilling to believe it so I was troubled to hear that you should undertake such a scandalous and base a Profession which every Honest Man abhors Fid. That 's your mistake for all Honest Men allow and commend it and a great many honest Commanders that have been in your Station do commend me for appearing in so Good so just and Honest a cause And the King and the Law allows and requires and encourages so good a work as the only Antidote against Rogues and Villains so I deny your Assertion I am no Informer Hon. No! Pray who then Informs against my Brother Captain Q. Pray who Informs against me Fid. Why truly you Inform against your self and discover your own Villany tho it is in a Braevado but to tell you plain your Officers and Marriners whom you have cheated and abused they Inform against you not out of Spight or Malice but for Right and Justice and indeed I am imployed by them and do appear as an Advocate to Solicit for the King and them Hon. That is all one you may call your self Advocate or Soliciter or what you please but all of them that you appear against do declare you to be an Informer and truly if my Friendship or any thing that I can do for you may obliged you to decline that scandalous Name I should be very glad to see you Converted Fid. Why do you Account them Honest Men that I appear against Hon. Yes I do and they are Gentlemen of great Honour and Reputation too Fid. Why if they be Honest and Guiltless they need not fear or regard an Informer or Soliciter no nor the Law neither for none of them can or will hurt an Honest Man And if they be Knaves it would be a greater Crime to connive at their Villanies then to complain of their Vices and yet to gratifie you if you will decline Cheating I will leave Informing and that without reward Hon. Well tho you deny the Name of an Informer You own the Name of Soliciter or Advocate and that 's all one they have a dependency one upon another in Prosecuting us and I do hold with several of my Brethren and do say and affirm to your face that you are an Informer Fid. Then so let it be and call me as you please but pray do me the Justice to consider that I am not a petty Vexatious one that Informs against frivolous offenders i. e. Such as relieve distressed Beggars at the Door or those who for Conscience sake refuse to comply in Ceremonies of Religion neither did I ever Inform against those that pick or lick Gold off of Ginger-bread c. Yet I do allow there is a sort of Informers that has brought an odium upon the Profession that are not sit to live in a Civil Government i. e. Horselers and othes Informing High way-men how they may come by a good Booty Servants Informing thieves how and when to Rob their Masters others Informing against their Neighbours for not working or paying towards repairing the High-way where there is none Husbands Informing against there Wives and Women against their Husbands for not going to Mass or not Worshipping God against Reason and Conscience c. Others prying into the Closets of Kings and Princes and then discovering their secrets to their Enemies Treacherous and Cowardly Sea Captains Maliciously Informing against and dismissing others of Courage and Fidelity as was the Case of Captain Desborrow c. Besides I must tell you that every Man that bears any Office under the King and every Parish Officer and every Man upon Juries of Inquest Yea and every Freeman of London are Sworn to be Informers and if so then it can be no Crime in me but an Act of the Highest Justice to Inform against such Villains that has ruin'd Thousands of His Majesties Subjects and Cheated the King and Country to that degree that the whole Nation Groans with the Cries of the oppressed whilst the oppressors Glory and Boast of their Wickedness Besides our Great Lawmakers out of a sence of Duty to their King and Countrey have ordained that Informers shall be Encouraged for Informing against Publick offenders and that purely to prevent or punish Villanies So that an Informer in the proper Sence is an Officer of Justice and a good one too provided he appears more for Justice then Malice So then if I am an Informer I am one of the highest rank and with your leave I 'll wave the Name of Fidelity and Acknowledge my self a faithful Informer provided you will decline the nick Name of Honesty and appear according to your profession by the Name of Publick Cheater and then we 'll proceed if you please but pray let it be without Cavelling Ch. With all my heart but don't bear too hard upon me for I was but one that Acted as others did according to the moad of the times And certainly that could be no great Crime in me to follow the Fashions Besides long custom makes many things both Natural and Lawful which I think you cannot deny In. It may be you take your Pedigree from Cain who was the first that committed the Heinous Sin of murder but if you do that don't make it Lawful or Natural altho some Vicious Men would have it so Pray consider Can any thing be more Notorious in those who were imployed with double Sallaries to defend and preserve the Nation then for them to Rob it and as much as in them lay to ruin it by Plundering what was forbidden by the Law and by abusing and piking off the Seamen and Marriners who are esteemed the Bulwark of the Nation as you have done It is observable that by your Savage and Barbarous Practice above 70000 of them has been driven into the other World and above 100000 more has been quite run out of their Pay during the late War and meerly to gratify your Ambitious and Barbarous Humors Ch. Prethe talk no more of that you have had my Answer now hear me you charge me and my Friends of Murther and Barbarity when every Body knows that the Informers are the greatest Villains and Mutherers in the whole Nation for were it not for them we should have no hanging nor burning of the hand no pilloring whiping or banishing of Men as we had
nor no siningand imprisoning of them c. And therefore it is plain you are the greatest Rogues and Villains it is you that are the occasion of so many mischiefs how happy would this Nation be if you were out of it I Remember a Story about the Physitians who being found Pernitious and Fatal to the People of Rome they were Banished out of the City and none suffered to Inhabit amongst them for the space of 600 Years the People making an Universal Medicine of Cabbage whereby they enjoyned long Life and Health with a great deal of Joy and Felicity And truly it is my Opinion if the Informers were Hanged or Banished out of this Kingdom we might enjoy the same Happiness and truly I would be one of the first that would set both my hands to so good a work In. Really I believe you but what makes you banter the Informers at such a rate Ch. Because they are the Villains that are the occasion of all those miseries that I have declared and of all the misfortunes that can befal us In. I say they are not the occasion of any of them it is their own Treasons Murthers Fellonies and other Vicious and Wicked deeds and practices that is the occasion of all your misfortunes Ch. Nay then I 'll be Hanged for there is no Man that is such a Fool that after he has Committed an unlawful Act as you Call it tha will Inform against himself and therefore it is plain you Informers are the cause of it In. Yea I do confess we are the secondary causes and for that Reason we are esteemed and rewarded by Vertuous and Honest Men who well know if we did not do our Duty to our King and Countrey then no Man could be in safety for the same Law that forbids Theft the same Punishes the Thief and Creates Informers but to turn your Roguish Similitude to your self If all Rogues and Villains were Banished out of the Nation the Informers would dye in Course and tho you rail against Informers your Quarrel is really against Honesty and would destroy her if it were not for Informers Like the Wolf in the Fable who used all his Rhethorick to remove the Dogs from the Sheep that he might the more greedily devour them Ch. Then since you are so stiff in the matter Pray tell me how long you have been an Informer In. Not so long as you have been a Cheater and truly if you had not been a Cheater I could not have been an Informer For indeed an Informer is the Off-spring of a Cheater and there is a greater Alliance between us then you discern and you ought to have a Patternal and Natural Love for Informers Forasmuch as they are your Natural Children the Fruit and Product of your own Bowels for as Covetousness begets Rogues and Cheaters so Rogues and Cheaters beget Informers For where there is no Law there is no Transgression so where there is no Law-breakers there is no Informers So that if you will consider how long you have been a Cheater you may partly guess how long I have been an Informer Ch. Why then if I make my Calculation from thence which looks very feasable I 'll tell you that I was born Honestly I was Named Honest and Christened and Educated Honestly and so I lived and continued until I got into the Kings Service where I soon met with such strong motives that forced me to turn Cat in Pan and to get Money I soon changed my Principle and Opinion too In. Why is the Kings Service which used and ought to be the Seat of Vertue become the School of Vice Is that so Infectious as to Poyson Men Principles and Opinions Ch No not the Service it self but some Persons Imployed in it it was they Poysoned me for if one scabby Sheep will spoil a whole flock how was it possible that I could escape amongst so many for being Prompt by the Precepts and Example of others to do as they did And it being continually sounded in mine Ears that there was a Cheating Trade in fashion and that they were Fools and Rogues that had not a hand in it and that Honesty was looked on with an Evil Eye they were Accounted as Punies and Cowards and that many for that Reason had been dismised whereupon I even tack't about and steered the common course and that to curry favour with the times as one wittily observes tell me your Company and I 'll tell you your manners In. But then when you changed your course you should have changed your Name too and not added Hypocrisie to Cheating it being my Opinion that every Man should appear in his proper Colours and neither deny his Name or Profession Ch. But I will not allow of that Doctrine for then every Man that commits an unlawful Act must make it has Profession which is wholly repugnant to the moad of the times for we find by daily experience and that every Sessions produces fresh Instances that most Men of Evil Principle do go by several Names and are often Arreigned by the Name of A. B. alias C. D. alias E. F. alias G. H. c. Whereby it is manifest that Men of bad Principles do frequently change their Names and if it were possible would change their Natural shapes too as they do their Garbs rather then be discovered as is Intimated by Don Quevedo in his Dream concerning the Resurrection when one pretended his Body and Soul was mismacht another had got a head that was none of his own and others ran away from their own Bodies because they would not be known And Mahomet and Jack of Leyden was so ashamed of their own Names that they would assume the Name of the Traytor Judas and did quarrel and contend for the same and altho I was a Knave by profession yet I continued the Name of Honesty and that purely to cover the Crimes of Knavery but however as you say you ae not a petty Informer so I am not a petty Fogger for I did not Play the Knave for triffles No I did not change my Name for nothing for I made my own market and got Honey enough by the bargain but Prethe tell me what it is I am Prosecuted for In. Why it is for Plundering of Prizes that you have taken and Embezzeling Ships and Goods and Converting the same to your own use without giving any Account thereof to the King or regard to the Ships Company for if you had but made a fair Distribution amongst them I believe they would not have complained against you Ch. Why should I be Prosecuted for that When I know that in the Dutch Wars and in the beginning of the late War it was Customary and Lawful to plunder all that was above the Gun Deck in any Prize Except Arms Ammunition and Tackling and that by Vertue of an Act of Parliament made in the 13th Year of King Charles the IId and since it is so Pray where is the offence
and her two Friends that came to attend her one of them he threatned to Bind over for speaking in the Widdows Behalf but that not frightning him the Justice thundered him out of Doors and silence the other and the Widdow being Abashed at those rugged Proceedings although her Complaint was confirmed by the Affidavits of several Persons was set aside and thereby my Self and Family were mercifully delivered O Blessed Justice and Mercy Inf. O! I remember that I was there then it was I that was Threatned and thundred out of Doors but that wa'nt Justice that did that he was only called so and that Mercy that was there is a Monster one that will ruine a Thousand good People to gratifie one Friend Che. I suppose he smelt that you were an Informer that made him turn you out of his House for fear that you would have Opened or Explained the Widdows Cause truly I did not care to see you there my self especially when you pray'd Mr. Justice to cast an Eye or look over that Affidavit my Men Swore against me for breaking open the Widdow's Son's Chest truly I was afraid he would have bound me to have answered it which he would certainly have done if he had not been a merciful Man I protest I was glad to see him let fly at you and snatch the Affidavit out of your Hand and throw it one way and send you another I wish'd with all my Heart he would have sent you to Prison Inf. Truly I believe you but I conceive he had more Wit than Justice for if he had Committed me I would have Inform'd against him to that great Lady Justice and have sued him for Satisfaction and that I believe made him afraid to execute his Threats for I 'll tell you that Justice her self has decreed That if any Justice of the Peace shall presume to Commit or Punish any Person contrary to her own Dictates that then in such Cases she will punish them and for that reason she has decreed That none shall execute the Office of a Justice that has not a sufficient Estate to make Satisfaction to those Injured by them many of them has paid Sawce for their Injustice and Partiality Che. Well I don't know what to say to this great Lady Justice that you talk of yet I remember now I have had Business with her my self several times and truly I always received a great deal of Satisfaction from her for I observed that she made no difference between Rich and Poor Noble and Base but decided all Controversies according to the Merits of the Cause Besides I must confess that she has bestowed an Hundred Favours on me by preserving me from Violence and restoring me to my Rites and Priviledges Inf. Why then since you have received so many Favours formerly what makes you fear her now Che. Why truly my Case is different now for then I appeared on the Right side with a good Cause but now I must stand on the Left to answer a bad one which puts me in mind of one of our Captains who not long since was fined an Hundred Pounds for Embezeling the Naval Stores and another you told me of that paid three Hundred Pounds for Cheating the King of his Customs besides the little Gunner that hangs in the Air at Chatham for Embezeling of one Barrel of Gunpowder and rather than I 'll fall under those Sentiments I 'll follow the Example of that great Hero that killed Lieutenant Cole for Informing against him yea I 'll Sacrifice him wheresoever I meet him that dare presume to Inform against me Inf. I must confess that a desperate Disease requires a desperate Cure but alas such desperate Actions does not extinguish but augment the Offence and although you may Imagine such rash and violent Actions are the Ensigns of Courage and Magnanimity yet they are no more than the Effects of Madness and Despair Indeed a Sword is a necessary Companion for a Prudent and well govern'd Man but it is pity that Fools and Madmen should be suffered to wear them I remember t'other Day a Bravado drew his Sword in a great passion but when he see it naked in his Hand he did quiver and shake indeed I put it up for him that time with a Proviso that he should draw it no more in my Company and as for that Hero you speak of I hear he was in Newgate and was Arraigned and found Guilty of Man-slaughter for that barbarous Action which if he had not been a Fool he might have complied with his Marriners and have saved Money enough to have maintain'd himself for ever but I perceive my Discourse signifies nothing to you and therefore since you care not for my Company or Conversation I 'll bid you heartily Adieu for I must call upon Mr. Friendly an Acquaintance of yours Inf. Mr. Friendly Sir I am come to thank you for the many Favours I have received of you and do give you many Thanks therefore and am heartily glad to see you in good Health Friendly Truly Neighbour this is kindly done of you and I am glad to see you well pray Sir sit down for I have something to say to you that is serious and was thinking to send for you to discourse you and advise you in a Matter of great Importance and my Wife Civility is very urgent with me about it Fid. Truly Sir as you have so often obliged me so I shall esteem my self happy in your Favour and shall thankfully take and follow your Advice in any thing that concerns me Friend I hope you will for you may assure your self that I shall advise you nothing but what shall be honest and for your good But to proceed pray when did you see Capt. Honesty Fid. Truly Sir I just parted with him he and I has had a long Conference about Cheating and Informing Friend Pray what was the Subject of your Discourse Fid. Truly I charged him Guilty of Breach of Trust and of Imbezeling and Purloining of Prizes and Prize Goods and of Abusing and Cheating his Officers and Seamen and he charged me and brands me for an Informer and says they are Rogues and Villains that deserve to be Hang'd or Banish'd and after a long Discourse Pro and Con we parted very Friendly Friend I am glad of that for I know he is a Huffing Spark and one that scorns to take an Affront Fid. And truly I scorn to give him any Friend Indeed I always looked upon you as a Man of a good even Temper for that but pray how comes he to charge you with the Scandalous Name of an Informer Fid. Because I Prosecute him and some others for cheating the King and Country Friend Why are you concerned in that I heard indeed that you and some other Persons had Informed against several Captains but I could not believe you were concerned in it hang it that 's a Nasty Scandalous Business indeed for shame for shame leave that off Prithee see what
Friend Yes I 'll hold with you there but what I blame you for is for Informing against Honest Gentlemen for Breach of Trust and for Embezeling of Prizes and running Uncustom'd Goods which is a common thing now adays and every Body would do that if they could Fid. Although it is Common it is not Lawful and though you blame me for Informing you ought your self in some cases to turn Informer Friend Who I What would you have me turn Informer No I 'll be Hang'd first Fid. Truly you had better be Hang'd then be Damn'd for if you know of any Conspiracies against the King's Peace and don't Inform you are Forsworn Friend How can I be Forsworn I never took a Solemn Oath in all my Life Fid. No Pray what was you and I Sworn to when we were made Free of the City If you have forgot I 'll tell you the Words verbatim Ye shall know no Gatherings Conventicles nor Conspiracies made against the King's Peace but ye shall warn the Mayor thereof Ergo if you know any such thing you are Sworn to Inform. Friend Ho that I had forgot that it was so long ago besides that 's none of my Business my care is to get an Honest Livelihood in doing which if I should make a Hog or two to save the Custom of a parcel of Goods would you discover it if you knew it Fid. You had best try me you know I am obliged to do my Duty and I think it unreasonable that you should cheat the King of his Duties truly if I should know any Person to rob or cheat you of your Lawful Right I would acquaint you of it you may call it Informing or what you please Friend Ay that is a Neighbours part and I should heartily thank you for it and gratifie you too because it would be for my Advantage but discovering the t'other would be to my Prejudice Fid. Then I conceive you are altogether for Self-Interest you care not who Sinks nor who Swims to cheat the King and Country too is all one to you so you get Money you have no respect to Justice Friend Justice what do ye tell me of Justice I never got any thing by her nor do I Sesire to have any thing to do with her or to know what she is or where she is Fid. I believe you but if I be not mistaken here she is and I 'll go wait on her Most Illustrious Madam Heavens protect your Ladiship and your Ladiship protect me your Vassal abused and contemned for my Fidelity Justice That 's no new thing for Fidelity to be abused and contemned I my self am not free from the Clamour of Evil Tongues who if it were possible would rend and tear me to pieces were not I supported by all the Powers of Heaven and Earth and by the Power of my Supporter I 'll protect you Fid. Madam my Safety depends on your Virtue it is you always that must support me my Adversary Injustice supported with Fraud and Deceit seeks to devour me for complaining of their Villanies and discovering their Vices Justice I have heard as much and am an Eye-witness to some Hardships that has been put upon you I know you are stiled and branded for Informing against Offenders but I would not have you be dismay'd I 'll weigh your Causes in an equal Ballance and with my Sword I 'll do you Justice for to me it seemeth reasonable Informers should have all Judicial Encouragement forasmuch asian Informer is the Supporter and main Pillar of the Law and if it were not for them the Law would be of no effect the Violaters thereof would trample it under Foot and the Care and Wisdom of all Ages would become extinct for it is not the Law it self that keeps Mankind in Obedience but the Vigilancy and Integrity of those Persons who in respect to the Safety and Well-being of their King and Country do take care to preserve that Sacred part of the Government that it may not be destroyed and torn to pieces there is many good Laws now in force which were intended for good purpose one was lately made for punishing Profaneness and Immorality and was commended by all good Men but for want of Courage or Encouragement I have not heard of any so good as to put the same in Execution unless occasioned by Envy and Malice and then one Blasphemer has Informed against another which appeared to me as if the Devil had been correcting Vice The other Laws for preventing Frauds Collusions and other general Calamities in the Government has been ineffectual by reason of the Negligence or Connivance of some Inferiour Magistrates or for want of due Encouragement to Informers I have heard Honesty and Friendly with his Wife Civility and although they Rail Cavil and Quarrel with you it is my Judgment that they are in the Fault for if they were Faultless you would not nay you could not hurt them and therefore what they say is only to discourage you that so they may the better carry on their Chearing and Clandestine Practises wherefore I do Advise and Direct you to persevere in what you have so faithfully and justly undertaken and I will Protect and Encourage you so far as the Rules of Justice will permit being my self appointed commanded and resolved to Administer Justice with equal distribution to Rich and Poor without respect of Persons being well assured that nothing is more acceptable in the Sight of God nor more pleasing and profitable to the King and Kingdom The King of His princely Wisdom hath proclaimed Days of Solemn Fast to be Religiously observed throughout the Kingdom for Adverting those Judgments Impending on this Nation The Almighty made an Overture to the People of old by the Prophet Jeremiah as in the first Verse of the fifth Chapter Run ye too and fro c. this shall be my Task this will I perform by the Power of the Almighty who knoweth but that so good a Work may put a stop to the Groans and Cries of the Oppressed and thereby Avert those Impending Judgments that the Oppressions and Injustice of this Nation justly hath deserved Deut. xvi 19. Thou shalt not wrest Judgment thou shalt not respect Persons neither take a Gift for a Gift blindeth the Eyes of the Wise and perverteth the Words of the Righteous 2 Chron. xix 6. Take heed what you do for ye Judge not for Men but for the Lord who is with you in Judgment Quis adipisci veram gloriam volant Justitia fungantur officiis They that will get true praise let them discharge the Duties of Justice FINIS