Mice Which made him ask Xenomanes what kind of Creatures these were taking them for Squirrels Weâ—sels Martins or Hermins They are Chitterlings reply'd Xenomanes This is the Wild Island or which I spoke to you this morning There hath been an irreconcilable War this long time between them and Shrovetide their malicious and ancient Enemy I believe that the noise of the Guns which we fir'd at the Physetere hath alarm'd 'em and made them fear their Enemy was come with his Forces to surprise them or lay the Island waste as he hath often attempted to do though he still came off but blewly by reason of the care and vigilance of the Chitterlings who as Dido said to Aeneas's Companions that would have landed at Carthage without her Leave or Knowledge were forc'd to watch and stand upon their Guard considering the malice of their Enemy and the Neighbourhood of his Territories Pray dear Friend said Pantagruel if you find that by some honest means we may bring this War to an end and reconcile them together give me notice of it I will use my endeavours in it with all my Heart and spare nothing on my side to moderate and accommodate the points in dispute between both Parties That 's impossible at this time answer'd Xenomanes About four years ago passing Incognito by this Country I endeavour'd to make a Peace or at least a long Truce among them and I had certainly brought them to be good Friends and Neighbours if both one and the other Parties would have yielded to one single Article Shrovetide would not include in the Treaty of Peace the Wild Puddings nor the Highland Sawsages their ancient Gossips and Confederates The Chitterlings demanded that the Fort of Caques might be under their Government as is the Castle of Sulloaoir and that a parcel of I don't know what stinking Villains Murtherers Robbers that held it then should be expell'd But they could not agree in this and the terms that were offer'd seem'd too hard to either Party So the Treaty broke off and nothing was done Nevertheless they became less severe and gentler Enemies than they were before But since the denunciation of the National Council of Chesil whereby they were roughly handled hamper'd and cited whereby also Shrovetide was declar'd filthy beshitten and beray'd in case he made any League or Agreement with them they are grown wonderfully inveterate Incens'd and Obstinate against one another and there is no way to remedy it You might sooner reconcile Cats and Rats or Hounds and Hares together CHAP. XXXVI How the Wild Chitterlings layd an Ambuscado for Pantagruel WHile Xenomenes was saying this Fryar Jhon spy'd twenty five or thirty young slender-shap'd Chitterlings posting as fast as they could towards their Town Citadel Castle and Fort of Chimney and said to Pantagruel I smell a Rat there will be here the Devil upon two sticks or I am much out These Worshipful Chitterlings may chance to mistake you for Shrovetide though you are not a bit like him Let us once in our lives leave our Junketing for a while and put our selves in a posture to give 'em a Belly full of fighting if they would be at that sport There can be no false Latin in this said Xenomanes Chitterlings are still Chitterlings always double hearted and treacherous Pantagruel then arose from Table to visit and scoure the Thicket and return'd presently having discover'd on the left an Ambuscade of squob Chitterlings and on the right about half a League from thence a large Body of huge Giant-like arm'd Chitterlings rang'd in Battalia along a little Hill and marching furiously towards us at the sound of Bagpipes Sheep's-Paunches and Bladders the merry Fifes and Drums Trumpets and Clarions hoping to catch us as Moss caught his Mare By the conjecture of seventy eight Standards which we told we guess'd their number to be two and forty thousand at a modest computation Their Oâ—der proud Gate and resolute Looks mâ—de us judge that they were none of your raw paultry Links but old Warlike Chitterlings and Sawsages From the foremost Ranks to the Colours they were all arm'd Cap a pié with small Arms as we reckoned them at a distance yet very sharp and case-harden'd Their right and left Wings were lin'd with a great number of Forrest-Puddings heavy Patti-pans and Horse Sawsages all of them tall and proper Islanders Banditti and Wild. Pantagruel was very much daunted and not without cause tho' Epistemon told him that it might be the use and custom of the Chitterlâ—â—gonians to welcom and receive thus in Arms their foreign Friends as the Noble Kings of France are received and salâ—ted at their first coming into the chief Cities of the Kingdom after their advancement to the Crown Perhaps said he it may be the usual Guard of the Queen of the place who having notice given her by the Junior Chitterlings of the Forlorn-hope whom you saw on the Tree of the arrival of your fine and pompous Fleet hath judg'd that it was without doubt some rich and potent Prince and is come to visit you in Person Pantagruel little trusting to this call'd a Council to have their advice at large in this doubtful case He briefly shew'd them how this way of reception with Arms had often under colour of Complement and Friendship been fatal to the Parties so receiv'd Thus said he the Emperor Antonius Caracalla at one time destroy'd the Citizens of Alexandria and at another time cut off the Attendants of Artabanus King of Persia under color of Marrying his Daughter which by the way did not pass unpunished for a while after this cost him his life Thus Jacob's Children destroy'd the Sichemites to revenge the Rape of their Sister Dina. By such another hypocritical trick Galienus the Roman Emperour put to death the Military Men in Constantinople Thus under colour of Friendship Antonius inticed Artavasdes King of Armenia then having caused him to be bound in heavy Chains and shackled at last put him to death We find a thousand such instances in History and K. Charles the 6th is justly commended for his Prudence to this day in that coming back Victorious over the Ghenters and other Flemmings to his good City of Paris and when he came to Bourget a League from thence hearing that the Citizens with their Mallets whence they got the name of Maillotius were March'd out of Town in Battalia twenty thousand strong he would not go into the Town till they had laid down their Arms and retir'd to their respective homes tho' they protested to him that they had taken Arms with no other design than to receive him with the greater demonstration of Honour and Respect CHAP. XXXVII How Pantagruel sent for Colonel Mawl-Chitterling and Colonel Cut-Pudding with a discourse well worth your hearing about the Names of places and persons THE resolution of the Councill was that let things be how they would it behov'd the Pantagruelists to stand upon their Guard Therefore Carpalim and
Air just after they had left the Papimanes our Author ingeniâ—usly describes the freedom which our Navigators took to speak their true sentiments of the gross Ignorance blind Zeal loose Lives and worse Principles of those superstitious Papists as soon as they were out of their reach For among them the Pantagruelists did not dare discover their minds so that their words were in a manner frozen within their mouths which Fear and Interest kept shut But when they were out of danger they could no longer thus contain their words and then every one distinctly heard them murmuring words against those Bigots very sharp words bloody words terrible words angry words occasion'd by Reflections made on those Idolatrous Persecutors and to those words our jolly Company add some words of Guâ—ules that is merry words Jests pleasant Talk probably about the young Wenches so ready to wait on the strangers at Table and on the good Bishop a bed Those frozen words that thaw'd and then were heard may also mean the Books publish'd at that time at Geneva and elsewhere against Popery and the Persecution Those who fled from it to Places of Safety with a great deal of freedom fill'd their Writings with such Truths as were not to be spoken among the bigotted Romanists and many of those unfortunate men having been us'd very cruelly in their Slavery and having nothing to defend their Cause but their Pens while their Adversaries were arm'd with Fire and Sword their words could not but be very sharp The words which Rabelais says were mere gâ—â—â—erish which they could not understand may be the Books that were dark ill written and without judgment and the words of guâ—â—â—es or Jests may be pleasant Books such as were some of Marot's Epigrams and other Pieces of that nature On Chap. 57. and the five following THE dwelling of Master Gaster whose entrance is rugged craggy barren and unpleasant to the eye is found at last to be â—ery fertile healthful and delightful when with much toyl the difficult ways on its Borders have been pass'd This Gaster the first Master of Arts in the world is the Belly in Greek Magister artis ingenîque largitor Venter Persius Yet our Author tells us that the Muses are the Offspring of Penia that is to say Poverty I will not pretend to contradict him neither will any contradict me if I say that at least Poverty is the most common Reward which their unhappy Favourites reap for all their toilsome Study The Description of the Empire of Gaster is very curious and the Author displays there at once much Learning Fancy and Wit The Gastrolatâ—rs are those whose God is their Belly the Engastrimythes are Parasites and all those whom their hungry Bellies cause to say many things against their Consciences so that they may be said to speak from the Belly The word Engastrymithe also means one who by use and practice can speak as it were out of his Belly not moving his Lips and finally one who has an Evil Spirit speaking out of his Belly Rabelais tells us a very remarkable Story of an Italian Woman called Jacoba Rodogyna one of those Engastrimyâ—â—â—â— whom he had seen at Ferrara in 1513. She was said to be possess'd by an Evil Spirit who lov'd to be call'd Cincinnatulo and reveal'd things past to the amazement of those who ask'd her questions but us'd to lye like a Devil when she pretended to foretell any thing yet the People of Quality of the Cisalpine Gaul us'd to consult her very much Father Mabillon in his Musaeum Italicum speaks of a Magician Woman who had been thus famous at Milan where he saw her Tomb He calls her Guillelmimina saying that after her death three Holidays were instituted to her Memory and that those of her Sect had declar'd she was the Holy Ghost that had appear'd to the world in the shape of a Woman but that at last it was known she was a Witch and she was unsainted Many Saints would have the same Fate if their Titles were canonically examin'd The Idol Manduce is the figure of Gluttony whose Eyes are bigger than its Belly and its wide Jaws arm'd with dreadful Teeth 'T is an Imitation of the Manducus of the Ancients The great number of Dishes of all sorts that are sacrificed to Gaster show that Gluttony reigns among all sorts of people the poor offering their gross Food as well as the rich their Dainties and that course Fare will go down with Belly-gods and with all men in general for want of better What is offer'd him on interlarded Fish days shows that this Noble Messer Gaster as he is call'd in the French is a true Papimane and agrees pretty well with the Mass Messe in French which wants but an r of the word Messer us'd in those times for Monsieur On Chap. 63 and 64. CHaneph is Hypocrisy in Hebrew so the Island of Chaneph is the Island of the Hypocrites accordingly our Author says it was wholly inhabited by Sham-saints Spiritual Comedians Forms of Holiness Tumblers of Beads dissembling Mumblers of Avemaries and so forth poor sorry Rogues who wholly liv'd on the Alms that were given them by Passengers like the Hermit of Lormont between Blaye and Bourdeaux Thus he chiefly places the Orders of Mendicant Friars among the Hypocrites because their Convents have no Revenue but Mumping and so they are oblig'd to affect a greater Devotion than those Religious Orders who do not make a Vow of Poverty as these do Our Author tells us that the Pantagruelian Fleet was becalm'd when it came in sight of that Island and was forc'd to tack from Larboard to Starboard and from Starboard to Larboard yet could not get ahead tho they had added Drablers to their Sails By this he insinuates that this inferior Crew of Hypocrites did put a stop to the progress of the Reformation and the discovery of Truth in general as when he himself was misus'd by some of them in the Convent of Cordeliers at Fontenay le Comte merely because he studied Greek These Beggarly Tribes had not the power to raise a Storm like the nine Sail of Fathers who were going to the Council of Chesil they could do little more than hinder the advancement of those who search'd after Truth Thus we find not only that the Fleet could not proceed but that every Ship 's Company in a manner fell asleep doz'd and were out of sorts and off the Hinges At last this is remedied by sending to those poor Hypocrites Seventy eight thousand little Half-Crowns and by eating and drinking which perhaps may mean That provided those poor hungry Curs have Meat and Drink or Money to get Food which is all they beg they cease to bark and will suffer you to go on without any further Impediment This has been and is still observable in France and other parts among some of those begging Friars whereas your Jesuits Dominicans Austins Bernardins Celestins Theatins and others such as were in the Nine
must not dwell on the surface or outâ—â—â—e of Things but dive to their very Centre or Boâ—tom to come at Truth This also may refer to this Work the Plaister'd Vault on which is coursely dawb'd a Dance of Women and â—atires is its literal Senâ—e sâ—â—â—â—y drunken lewd and satirical Expressions and our Author is the Silenus who grins and laughs at every one He has ingeniously brought in a Discourse about the Antiquity of Chinâ—n his Native Town by which he seems at the same time to ridicule the Fables that are reported in many Towns about their Founders whom some make as Ancient as the Patriarch of the highest Pedigree in Wales On Chapter 36. OUr Pilgrims going down the Tetradick Stairs find a resting place after the first Step another resting place after the third another after the Sixth and a fourth resting-place after the tenth Stâ—p This implies that the Progress made at first in the way to Truth is but small but by degrees a greater is made the more we get forwards so that on the second Day we go twice as far as we did the first three times as far on the third and four times as far on the fourth till at last we come to our Journeys end On Chapter 37 c. THe Description of the Temple its Gates Pavement Walls Lamps and Fountains is a Master-piece of Architâ—cture by which the Author show'd that he knew as well all the Beauties of that Art as he did those of every other that deserves the Application of a Man of Sense If any have a mind to look for Mysteries in all this perhaps they may find many whose discovery will reward their search As for me as I have not had leisure to say more in less room I will only say something of it that may give a general Idea of the Author's design and so conclude Bacbuc which is the name of the Bottle and also that of the Priestess who ministers at the Oracle is Hebrew and as we have said signifies a Bottle Our Mysterious Author may perhaps be thought to have had a mind to hint that the Hebrew Original or Text of the Bible is the first Spring of Truth that flows out of it into the Versions as Wine pour'd out of a Bottle into a Glass or Cup. Then as on the Poâ—tal of the Temple there was written in Characters of the finest Gold EN OINΩ AAHΘEIA some may think it implies that the Wine of Truth is also to be found in the Greek Text of the New Testament which gives the name of Wine to Truth Buy Wine and Hâ—nâ—y without Money The two folding Gates may also be fancied to donor the Old Testament and the New whâ—â—h must be open'd to come to the Oracle of Truth Every one will not like this manner of explaining those Passages but all I hope will approve the following way of understanding the rest The Perspiâ—â—â—â—us Laâ—tern which lighted and guided our Votaries opens those Gates but desires them not to take it amiss that she does not go into Temple with them leaving them wholly to the Conduct of the Priestess Bacbuc for the Lantern was not allow'd to go in for certain Causes rather to be conceal'd than reveal'd to Mortals However she advised them to be resolute and secure This Mystical Reason is That as Truth is hated in this World most of the Learned who know it are afraid of conversing with it openly lest this make many Men their Enemies spoil their Preferment ruin them and perhaps cost them their Lives For this reason they come to the very Portal of Truth 's Temple and even open the Gates to others yet do not enter within its Sanctuary The greatest Men both of the Clergy and Laity in France acted thus in the Reign of Francis the First and Henry the Second But another cause of the Venerable Lantern's staying without the Temple was the piercing Glory which flowed out of the inextinguishable Lamp which fill'd that Subterranean Temple with a Light infinitely quicker and clearer than that of the Sun So that this extream Brightness would have utterly dimn'd and eclips'd that of the Lantern The Author â—ould never have concluded better than by saying That when our Sages shall wholly apply their Minds to a diligent and studious search after Truth beseeching the Hidden God to make himself known to them that Almighty Being will do it and impart to them also the Knowledg of his Creatures Of the Pantagruelian Prognostication and other short Pieces OUR Author who was a Learned Astronomer has chiefly ridicul'd Astologers in his Prognostication He publish'd an Almanack printed at Lyons in 1553 and perhaps this was printed with it However we cannot be fine of this for it is not to be procured no more than some of his Letters besides his Schiemachy and Festivals at Rome in Cardinal Du Bellay's Palace at the Duke of Orleans's Birth I am told that something of the nature of these Predictions has been printed here in Poor Robin's Almanack I do not wonder at it for as there is Wit and Satire in this Piece even one of the most Learned Men in Germany has not been asham'd to borrow a great deal of it I mean Joachim Fortius Rindelbergius who begins a small Piece of this nature with the very beginning of the Second Chapter of this Thus he has it in Latin Proximo anâ—â— coeci parum aut nihil videbunt surdi malè audient muti non loquâ—ntur Ver erit calidum ac humidum aestas calida sicca autumnus frigidus siâ—cus hyems frigida sicca Aestate erunt quandoque pluviae interdum fulmina tomtrua Bellum erit inter Aueupes aves inter piscatores pisces inter canes lepores inter feles mures inter lupos oves inter Monachos ova Multi interibunt pisces boves oves pâ—rci caprae puâ—â— capâ—nes inter simias canes â—quâ—s mors nâ—n tanteperè seviâ—t Senectus â—â—dem anno erit immâ—dicabilis propter annos qui praecesserunt Non pauâ—i inâ—pâ—â laborabunt c. p. 556. There runs a vein of Pâ—â—siaâ—tism through most of this Work which is undoubtedly Rabelais's tho 't is said to be Calculated by Ale fribas Plâ—sâ—â— for that Name is only â—â—nagram of the Author's â—rancâ—â—s Râ—belais The Epistle said to be written by the Lymâ—sin partly in an affected Frâ—nchiâ—ed Latin is to ridicule that way of Writing as appears by the Epigram after it The Cream of Encyclopedic Questions is a trifle which like many other more insignificant of other great Men has been kept from Oblivion meerly for the sake of itâ— Author and added to his Works with the Epistles after his Death as appears by the Title Page of some old Editions of thâ— Fifth Book The Epistle to the Old Hag seems to be a sharp Invective against the Church of Rome The Epistle to the Wise Matron seems to be an Encomium on the Reform'd Church On Rabelais Explain'd
the Scab and not a Cross in your Breeches to scare the Devil that tempts you to make these Wishes no more than those two Mumpers wishers after the Custom of Paris one of whom only wish'd to have in good old Gold as much as hath been spent bought and sold in Paris since it's first Foundations were laid to this hour all of it valued at the price sale and rate of the dearest Year in all that space of Time Do you think the Fellow was bashful had he eaten sowre Plums unpeel'd were his Teeth on edge I pray you The other wish'd Our Lady's Church brim full of steel Needles from the flowr to the top of the roof and to have as many Ducats as might be cram'd into as many bags as might be sow'd with each and every one of those Needles till they were all either broke at the point or eye This is to wish with a vengeance What think you of it What did they get by 't in your Opinion Why at night both my Gentlemen had kyb'd heels a â—etter in the Chin a Churchyard Cough in the Lungs a Catarrh in the Throat a swinging Boyl at the Rump and the Devil of one musty Crust of a brown George the poor Dogs had to scour their Grinders with Wish therefore for Mediocrity and it shall be given unto you and over and above yet that is to say provided you bestir your selves manfully and do your best in the mean time Ay but say you God might as soon have given me seventy eight thousand as the thirteenth part of one half for he is Omnipotent and a million of Gold is no more to him than one Farthing Oh ho pray tell me who taught you to talk at this rate of the Power and Predestination of God poor silly People Peace Tush St St St fall down before his sacred Face and own the Nothingness of your Nothing Upon this O ye that labour under the affliction of the Gout I ground my hopes firmly believing that if so it pleases the Divine Goodness you shall obtain Health since you wish and ask for nothing else at least for the present Well stay yet a little longer with half an Ounce of Patience The Genouese do not use like you to be satisfied with wishing Health alone when after they have all the live long Morning been in a brown study talk'd ponder'd ruminated and resolv'd in their Counting-houses of whom and how they may squeeze the Ready and who by their Craft must be hook'd in wheadled bubl'd sharp'd over-reach'd and chous'd they go to the Exchange and greet one another with a sanita guadagno Messer health and gain to you Sir Health alone will not go down with the greedy Curmudgeons they over and above must wisâ— for gain with a Fox to 'em ay and for the sine Crowns or scudi di guadagno Whence Heaven be praised it happens many a time that the silly Wishers and Woulders are baulk'd and get neither Now my Lads as you hope for good health cough once aloud with Lungs of Leather Take me off three swindging Bumpers Prick up your Ears and you shall hear me tell Wonders of the noble and good Pantagruel The Fourth BOOK OF PANTAGRVEL CHAP. I. How Pantagruel went to Sea to Visit the Oracle of Bacbuc alias the Holy Bottle IN the Month of June on Vesta's Holy-days the very numerical day on which Brutus conquering Spain taught its strutting Dons to truckle under him and that niggardly Miser Crassus was routed and knock'd on the head by the Parthians Pantagruel took his leave of the good Gargantua his Royal Father The old Gentleman according to the laudable Custom of the Primitive Christians devoutly pray'd for the happy Voyage of his Son and his whole Company and then they took Shipping at the Port of Thalassa Pantagruel had with him Panurge Fryar Jhon des Entomeures alias of the Funnels Epistemon Gymnast Eusthenes Rhizotome Carpalin cum multis aliis his ancient Servants and Domestics Also Xenomanes the great Traveller who had cross'd so many dangerous Roads Dikes Ponds Seas and so forth and was come sometime before having been sent for by Panurge For certain good Causes and Considerations him thereunto moving he had left with Gargantua and marked out in his Great and Universal Hydrographical Chart the Course which they were to steer to Visit the Oracle of the Holy Bottle Bacbuc The number of Ships was such as I described in the Third Book Convoyed by a like number of Triremes Men of War Gallions and Feluccaes well Rigg'd Caulkt and Stor'd with a good quantity of Pantagruelion All the Officers Droggermen Pilots Captains Mates Boatswains Mid-Shipmen Quarter-Masters and Sailers met in the Thalamege Pantagruel's principal Flag-Ship which had in her Stern a huge large Bottle half Silver well polish'd the other Half Gold Inamel'd with Carnation whereby it was easie to guess that white and red were the colours of the Noble Travellers and that they went for the Word of the Bottle On the Stern of the Second was a Lanthorn like those of the Antients industriously made with Diaphanous Stone implying that they were to pass by Lanternland The Third Ship had for her Devise a fine deep China Ewre The Fourth a double handed Jar much like an ancient Urn. The Fifth a famous Kin made of Sperm of Emerald The Sixth a Monk's Murnping Bottle made of the four Mettals together The Seventh an Ebony Funnel all imboss'd and wrought with Gold after the Tauchic manner The Eighth an Ivy Goblet very precious inlaid with Gold The Ninth a Cup of fine Obriz Gold The Tenth a Tumbler of Aromatic Agaloch you call it Lignum aloes edg'd with Cyprian Gold after the Azemine make The Eleventh a Golden Vine-Tub of Mozaic work The Twelfth a Runlet of unpolish'd Gold covered with a small Vine of large Indian Pearl of Topiarian work Insomuch that there was no Man however in the Dumps musty sower look'd or Melanchollic he were not even excepting that blubbering Whiner Heraclitus had he been there but seeing this Noble Convoy of Ships and their Devises must have been seized with present gladness of Heart and smiling at the Conceit have said that the Travellers were all honest Topers true Pitcher-men and have judged by a most sure Prognostication That their Voyage both outward and homeward bound would be performed in Mirth and perfect Health In the 〈◊〉 where was the general 〈◊〉 Pantagâ—â—â—l 〈◊〉 a shâ—râ— but sweet Exhortation wâ—â—ly â—â—k'd with Auâ—â—oâ—â—â—is from 〈…〉 a Nâ—â—igation which â—â—ving ended with 〈…〉 Prayers were said in 〈…〉 of â—ll the Burghâ—â—s of 〈◊〉 who had flock'd to the Mole to see 〈…〉 Shipping After the Prayers was melodiously sung a Psalm of the Holy Kings David whiâ—h â—â—gins Wâ—en Israel went out of Aegâ—pt and that being ended Tables were plac'd upon Dâ—â—k and a Feast speedily serv'd up The Tâ—â—aâ—â—ssians who had also born a Chorus in the Psalm caus'd store of belly-Timber to be brought out of their
on shoar that every ships Crew might live well which was accordingly done and God wot how they all top'd and carrouz'd the People of the place brought them Provisions in abundance The Pantagrueliests return'd them more As the truth is their's were somewhat damag'd by the late Storm When they had well stuffed the insides of their Doublets Pantagruel desired every one to lend their help to repair the damage which they readily did It was easy enough to resit there for all the inhabitants of the Island were Carpenters and all such handicrafts as are seen in the Arsenale at Venice None but the largest Island was inhabited having three Ports and ten Parishes the rest being over-run with Wood and desert much like the Forest of Arden We entreated the old Macrobius to shew us what was worth seeing in the Island which he did and in the desert and dark Forest We discover'd several old ruined Temples Obeliscs Pyramids Monuments and ancient Tombs with diverse Inscriptions and Epitaphs some of them in hieroglyphic Characters others in the Gothic Dialect some in the Arabic Agarenian SclaSclavonian and other Tongues Of which Epistemon took an exact Account In the interim Panurge said to Fryar Jhon is this the Island of the Macreons Macreon signifies in Greek an old Man or one much stricken in years What 's that to me said Fryar Jhon how can I help it I was not in the Country when they Christen'd it Now I think on 't quoth Panurge I believe the Name of Makerel that 's a Bawd in French was deriv'd from it for procuring is the Province of the old as Buttock-riggling is that of the young Therefore I don't know but this may be the Bawdy or Mackrel Island the original and Prototype of the Island of that name at Paâ—s Let 's go and drudge for Cock-Oysters Old Macrobius ask'd in the Ionick Tongue how and by what industry and labour Pantagruel got to their Port that day there having been such blustering weather and such a dreadful Storm at Sea Pantagruel told him that the Almighty preserver of mankind had regarded the Simplicity and sincere Affection of his Servants who did not travel for Gain or sordid Profit the sole design of their Voyage being a studious desire to know see and visit the Oracle of Bacbâ—â— and take the word of the Bottle upon some difficulties offer'd by one of the Company nevertheless this had not been without great Affliction and evident danger of Shipwrack After that he ask'd him what he judg'd to be the cause of that terrible Tempest and if the adjacent Seas were thus frequently subject to Storms as in the Ocean are the Ratz of Sammaieu Maumusson and in the Mediterranean Sea the Gulph of Sataly Montargentan Piombino Capo Melio in the Morea the Streights of Gibraltar Faro di Messina and others CHAP. XXVI How the good Macrobius gave us an Account of the Mansion and decease of the Heroes THE good Macrobius then answer'd Friendly strangers this Island is one of the Sporades not of your Sporades that lye in the Carpathian Sea but one of the Sporades of the Ocean in former times rich frequented wealthy populous full of Traffick and in the Dominions of the Ruler of Britain but now by Course of time and in these latter Ages of the world poor and desolate as you see In this dark Forest above Seventy eight thousand Persian Leagues in Compass is the dwelling place of the Daemons and Heroes that are grown old and we believe that some one of them dy'd Yesterday since the Comet which we saw for three days before together shines no more and now 't is likely that at his Death there arose this horrible Storm for while they are alive all Happiness attends both this and the adjacent Islands and a setled Calm end Serenity At the Death of every one â— them we commonly hear in the Forest â—ud and mournful groans and the whole â—â—nd is infested with Pestilence Earthquakes laundations and other Calamities the Air with Fogs and obscurity and the Sea with Storms and Hurricanes What you tell us seems to me likely enough said Pantagruel For as a Torch or Candle as long as it hath Life enough and is lighted shines round about disperses its Light delights those that are near it yields them its Service and Clearâ—ess and never causes any pain or displeasure but as soon as 't is extinguished its Smoak and Evaporation infects the Air offends the By-standers and is noisome to all so as long as those noble and renowned Souls â—â—habit their Bodies Peace Profit Pleasure and Honour never leave the places where they abide but as soon as they leave them both the Continent and adjacent Islands are annoy'd with great Commotions in the Air Fogs Darkness Thunder Hail Tremblings Pulsatiâ—ns Arietations of the Earth Storms and Hurricanes at Sea together with sad Comâ—aints amongst the People Broaching of Reâ—ons Changes in Governments and Ruins of Commonwealths We had a sad instance of this lately said Eustemon at the Death of that valiant and learned Knight William du Bellay during whose Life France enjoy'd so much Happiness that all the rest of the world look'd upon it with Envy sought Friendship with it and stood in awe of its Power but soon after his decease it hath for a considerable time been the Scorn of the rest of the world Thus said Pantagruel Anchises being dead at Drepany in Sicily Aeneas was dreadfully tost and endanger'd by a Storm and perhaps for the same reason Herod that Tyrant and cruel King of Judea finding himself near the Pangs of a horrid kind of Death for he dy'd of a Phthiriasis devour'd by Vermin and Lice as before him dy'd L. Sylla Pâ—erecides the Syrian Preceptor Pythagoras the Greek Poet Alemaeon and others and foreseeing that the Jews would make Bonfires at his Death caus'd all the Nobles and Magistrates to be Summoned to his Seraglio out of all the Cities Towns and Castles of Judea fraudulently pretending that he had some things of moment to impart to them They made their personal Appearance whereupon he caus'd them all to be shut up in the Hippodrome of the Seraglio then said to his Sister Salome and Alexander her Husband I am certain that the Jews will rejoyce at my Death but if you will observe and perform what I will tell you my Funeral shall be honourable and there will be a general Mourning As soon as you see me dead let my Guards to whom I have already given strict Commission to that purpose kill all the Noblemen and Magistrates that are secur'd in the Hippodrome By these means all Jewry shall in spight of themselves be oblig'd to mourn and lament and Foreigners will imagine it to be for my Death as if some Heroic Soul had left her Body A desperate Tyrant wish'd as much when he said When I dye let Earth and Fire be mix'd together which was as good as to say let the whole world perish Which saying the
fair wind they shâ—uâ—d proceed without mentioning a word on 't but if they chanc'd to be becalm'd he would publish what he had heard Now when they were near Paloda they had no Wind neither were they in any Current Tâ—â—mâ—us then getting up on the top of the Ship 's forecastle and casting his Eyes on the shoar said that he had been commanded to proclaim that the great God Pan was dead The words were hardly out of his Mouth when deep Groans great Lamentations and Shrieks not of one Person but of many together were heard from the Land The News of this many being present then was soon spread at Râ—me insomuch that Tiberius who was then Emperor senâ— for this Thamous and having heard him gave credit to his words and inquiring of the Learned in his Court and at Rome who was that Pan He found by their relation that he was the Son of Mercury and Penelope as Herodotus and Cicero in his third book of the nature of the Gods had written before For my part I understand iâ— of that great Saviour of the Faithfull who was shamefully put to Death at Jerusalem by the envy and wickedness of the Doctors Priests and Monks of the Mâ—saie Law And methinks my Interpretation is not improper for he may lawfully be said in the Greek Tongue to be Pan since he is our All For all that we are all that we live all that we have all that we hope is him by him â—â—â—m him and in him He is the good â—an the great Shepherd who as the loving Sheperd Câ—â—yden affirms hath not only a tendâ—r Love and Affection for his Sheep but 〈◊〉 for their Shepherds At his death complaints sighs fears and lamentations were 〈◊〉 â—ad through the whole Fabric of the universâ— whether Heavens Land Sea or Hell The time also concurs with this interpretation of mine for this most good most mighty Pan our only Saviour dyed near Jeâ—â—salem during the Reign of Tiberius Caesar Pantagruel having ended this discourse remain'd silent and full of Contemplation a little while after we saw the tears flow out of his eyes as big as Ostridg's Eggs. God take me presently if I tell you one single syllable of a Lye in the matter CHAP. XXIX How Pantagruel sail'd by the Sneaking Island where Shrove-tide reign'd THE Jovial Fleet being reâ—â—â—ed and repar'd new Stores â—en in the Macreâ—ns over and 〈◊〉 satisfy'd and pleased with the Money spent there by Pantagruel our Men in better humour yet then they us'd to be if possible we merrily put to sea the next day near Sun-set with a delicious fresh Gale Xenomanes show'd us afar off the Sneaking Island where reign'd Shrovetide of whom Pantagruel had heard much talk formerly for that Reason he would gladly have seen him in Person had not Xenomanes advis'd him to the contrary First because this would have been much out of our way and then for the lean Cheer which he told us was to be found at that Prince's Court and indeed all over the Island You can see nothing there for your Money said he but a huge Greedy-Guts a tall woundy swallower of hot Wardens and Muscles a Longshank'd Mole-catcher an over grown Bottler of hay a Mossy-chin'd Demy-giant with a double shaven Crown of Lantern Breed a very great Loytering Noddy-peak'd youngster Banner-bearer to the Fish-eating Tribe Dictator of Mustard-land Flogger of little Children Calciner of Ashes Father and Foster-father to Physicians swarming with Pardons Indulgencies and Stations a very honest Man a good Catholic and as brim full of Devotion as ever he can hold He weeâ—â— the Three fourth parts of the day and never â—sts at any Weddings but give the Devil his 〈◊〉 â—e's the most industrious Larding-stick and Sâ—â—â—e-maker in forty Kingdoms About Six years ago as I pass'd by Sneaking Land I brought home a large Scure from thence and made a Present of it to the Butchers of Quande who set a great value upon them and that for a Cause sometime or other if ever we live to come back to our own Country I will shew you two of them fastned on the great Church-Porch His usual Food is pickled Coats of Mail salt Helmets and Head-pieces and salt Sallads which sometimes makes him piss Pins and Needles As for his Cloathing 't is Comical enough oâ— Conscience both for make and colour for he wears Grey and Cold nothing before and nought behind with the Sleeves of the same You will do me a kindness said Pantagruel if as you have described his Cloths Food Actions and Pastimes you will also give me an Account of his Shape and Disposition in all his Parts Prethee do dear Cod said Fryar Ihon for I have found him in my Breviary and then follow the moveable Holy-days With all my heart answer'd Xâ—â—â—manes We may chance to hear more of him as we touch at the Wild Island the Dominion of the Squob Chitterlings his Enemies against whom he is eternally at odds and were it not for the help of the noble Carnaval their Protector and good Neighbour this Meagre-look'd Lozelly Shrovetide would long before this have made sad work among them and rooted them out of their Habitation Are these same Chitterlings said Fryar Ihon Male or Female Angels or Mortals Women or Maids They are reply'd Xenomanes Female in Sex Mortal in kind some of them Maids others not The Devil have me said Fryar Ihon if I been't for them What a shameful disorder in Nature is it not to make War against Women Let 's go back and back the Villain to pieces What! meddle with Shrovetide cry'd Panurge in the name of Belzebub I am not yet so weary of my Life No I 'm not yet so mad as that comes to Quid juris Suppose we should find our selves pent up between the Chitterlings and Shrovetide between the Anvil and the Hammers Shankers and Buboes stand off Godzooks let 's make the best of our way I bid you good Night sweet Mr. Shrovetide I recommend to you the Chitterlings and pray don't forget the Puddings CHAP. XXX How Shrovetide is anatomiz'd and describ'd by Xenomanes AS for the inward Parts of Shrovetide said Xenomanes his Brain is at least it was in my time in Bigness Colour Substance and Strength much like the left Cod of a He-hand-worm The Ventricles of his said Brain like an Augre The Worm-like Excrescence like a Christmas-Box The Membranes like a Monk's Cowle The Funnel like a Mason's Chissel The Fernix like a Casket The Glandula pinealis like a Bag-pipe The Rete Admirabile like a Gutter The Dug-like Procâ—sses like a Patch The Tympanums like a Whirly Gig. The Rocky bones like a Goose-wing The Nape of the Neck like a Paper Lanthorn The Nerves like a Pipkin The Vvula like a Sack butt The Palate like a Mittain The Spittle like a Shuttle The Almonds like a Telescope The Bridge of his Nose like a Wheel barrow The Head of the Larynx like a Vintage Basket The Stomach like a