whither_o the_o thing_n be_v demonstrable_a though_o all_o not_o capable_a thereof_o or_o whither_o it_o be_v not_o before_o the_o manichean_a proceed_n where_o first_o with_o a_o temerarious_a promise_v of_o certain_a science_n such_o credulity_n be_v deride_v and_o next_o so_o many_o fable_n and_o absurdity_n which_o can_v never_o be_v demonstrate_v be_v impose_v to_o be_v believe_v but_o afterward_o by_o little_a and_o little_o thou_o o_o lord_n with_o a_o gentle_a and_o merciful_a hand_n touch_v my_o sore_n and_o compose_v my_o soul_n do_v thorough_o persuade_v i_o in_o this_o matter_n after_o that_o i_o have_v well_o consider_v how_o many_o thing_n i_o not_o see_v and_o far_o absent_a when_o they_o be_v act_v yet_o firm_o believe_v as_o so_o many_o thing_n in_o secular_a history_n so_o many_o thing_n of_o country_n and_o city_n never_o view_v by_o i_o so_o many_o thing_n hear_v from_o my_o friend_n from_o my_o physician_n from_o many_o other_o which_o if_o not_o credit_v a_o end_n must_v be_v put_v to_o all_o humane_a soci_fw-la tie_n and_o commerce_n last_o whâ—n_o i_o â—sâ—â—erâ—d_v how_o firm_o i_o believe_v that_o i_o be_v bear_v of_o such_o parent_n a_o thing_n not_o know_v to_o i_o but_o by_o credit_v another_o relation_n thou_o at_o last_o persuade_v dst_o i_n i_o say_v that_o not_o so_o much_o those_o who_o believe_v thy_o book_n which_o with_o so_o grâ—â—t_a authority_n thou_o have_v establish_v almost_o thrâ—â—ll_a nation_n as_o those_o who_o believe_v they_o not_o be_v blameworthy_a nor_o be_v any_o such_o to_o be_v hearken_v to_o who_o shall_v say_v how_o know_v thou_o that_o these_o book_n be_v by_o the_o holy_a spirit_n of_o the_o true_a and_o truth-communicating_a god_n deliver_v to_o mankind_n for_o this_o point_n of_o all_o the_o 〈◊〉_d be_v most_o rational_o credible_a for_o first_o no_o sophistry_n nor_o â—â—villing_a question_n that_o i_o have_v read_v in_o the_o contradict_a philosopher_n can_v ever_o stagger_v this_o faith_n in_o i_o that_o thou_o be_v though_o i_o be_v ignorant_a what_o thou_o be_v and_o that_o the_o government_n of_o humane_a affair_n belong_v unto_o thou_o though_o i_o confess_v this_o faith_n in_o i_o be_v sometime_o strong_a sometime_o weak_a yet_o always_o i_o believe_v that_o thou_o be_v and_o that_o we_o also_o be_v a_o care_n unto_o thou_o though_o i_o know_v not_o what_o to_o think_v of_o thy_o substance_n nor_o of_o the_o way_n of_o thy_o guide_n and_o reduce_v man_n unto_o thou_o again_o since_o our_o too_o great_a weakness_n to_o find_v out_o clear_a and_o evident_a truth_n have_v need_v also_o of_o the_o revelation_n of_o some_o divine_a writing_n i_o begin_v now_o to_o believe_v that_o thy_o care_n over_o we_o will_v never_o suffer_v such_o a_o sway_a authority_n throughout_o all_o the_o world_n to_o be_v give_v to_o these_o writing_n unless_o it_o have_v also_o be_v thy_o good_a pleasure_n that_o accord_v to_o they_o we_o shall_v believe_v in_o thou_o according_a to_o they_o seek_v thou_o for_o now_o the_o seem_a absurdity_n which_o offend_v i_o in_o thy_o scripture_n after_o a_o many_o of_o they_o so_o probable_o expound_v be_v impute_v by_o i_o to_o the_o altitude_n of_o its_o mystery_n and_o the_o authority_n thereof_o seem_v to_o i_o so_o much_o the_o more_o venerable_a and_o worthy_a of_o a_o religious_a credit_n in_o that_o it_o yield_v itself_o to_o be_v read_v by_o all_o in_o a_o humble_a stile_n and_o yet_o preserve_v the_o honour_n of_o its_o secret_n in_o a_o more_o profound_a meaning_n stoop_v to_o every_o one_o in_o the_o plainness_n of_o its_o word_n and_o lowness_n of_o its_o phrase_n and_o yet_o exercise_v the_o best_a observance_n of_o those_o who_o be_v not_o light_a of_o heart_n that_o it_o may_v with_o a_o display_a bosom_n receive_v all_o though_o through_o its_o narrow_a passage_n it_o transmits_n but_o few_o unto_o thou_o yet_o many_o more_o transmit_v thus_o than_o if_o it_o either_o have_v not_o reach_v so_o high_a in_o the_o top_n of_o its_o mysterious_a authority_n or_o not_o invite_v such_o multitude_n into_o the_o lap_n of_o its_o venerable_a humility_n chap._n vi_o his_o ambition_n and_o the_o care_n attend_v it_o his_o great_a solicitude_n be_v to_o speak_v a_o panegyric_n before_o the_o emperor_n much_o envy_v the_o secure_a mirth_n of_o a_o poor_a beggar_n see_v in_o the_o street_n these_o thing_n i_o muse_v and_o thou_o be_v with_o i_o i_o sigh_v unto_o thou_o and_o thou_o hear_v i_o i_o wave_v to_o and_o fro_o and_o yet_o thou_o do_v steer_v i_o i_o walk_v in_o the_o broad_a and_o tread_a way_n of_o this_o world_n yet_o thou_o do_v not_o desert_v i_o i_o pursue_v after_o honour_n wealth_n marriage_n and_o thou_o smile_v at_o i_o and_o i_o undergo_v in_o these_o my_o lust_n most_o bitter_a cross_n and_o thou_o be_v the_o more_o kind_a to_o i_o the_o more_o unsweet_a thou_o make_v all_o that_o to_o i_o which_o be_v not_o thou_o see_v my_o heart_n o_o lord_n thou_o who_o pleasure_n it_o be_v i_o shall_v now_o recollect_v theâ—e_n thing_n and_o confess_v they_o before_o thou_o and_o let_v my_o soul_n now_o adhere_v unto_o thou_o after_o it_o have_v be_v from_o that_o tenacious_a birdlime_n of_o death_n so_o rescue_v by_o thou_o in_o what_o a_o miserable_a condition_n be_v it_o at_o that_o time_n and_o thou_o continue_v to_o prick_v and_o chafe_v the_o sensibleness_n of_o its_o wound_n that_o leave_v all_o thing_n it_o may_v return_v unto_o thou_o who_o be_v above_o all_o thing_n and_o without_o who_o all_o thing_n will_v be_v nothing_o at_o all_o that_o it_o may_v return_v and_o so_o be_v heal_v how_o miserable_a be_v i_o then_o and_o how_o do_v thou_o advance_v the_o sense_n of_o that_o my_o misery_n upon_o a_o time_n when_o prepare_v in_o praise_n of_o the_o emperor_n a_o panegyric_n full_a of_o lie_n and_o yet_o applaud_v by_o those_o who_o know_v they_o to_o be_v so_o my_o heart_n tremble_v with_o restless_a care_n and_o burn_v in_o a_o fever_n of_o consume_a thought_n as_o i_o pass_v through_o a_o certain_a street_n of_o milan_n i_o happen_v to_o cast_v my_o eye_n upon_o a_o poor_a beggar_n with_o his_o belly_n well_o fill_v as_o i_o suppose_v who_o be_v very_o jocund_a and_o full_a of_o mirth_n who_o see_v i_o fetch_v a_o great_a sigh_n and_o begin_v to_o discourse_v with_o my_o friend_n then_o with_o i_o the_o many_o sorrow_n and_o suffering_n of_o our_o vain_a folly_n for_o we_o seek_v no_o more_o with_o all_o our_o labour_n such_o as_o that_o i_o then_o travail_v with_o whilst_z prick_v forward_o by_o the_o goad_n of_o my_o ambibition_n i_o draw_v after_o i_o a_o heavy_a load_n of_o my_o own_o infelicity_n and_o in_o draw_v it_o on_o still_o augment_v it_o we_o seek_v i_o say_v no_o more_o than_o to_o arrive_v at_o a_o secure_a mirth_n void_a of_o care_n *_o in_o which_o that_o poor_a beggar_n have_v already_o prevent_v we_o and_o *_o to_o which_o perhaps_o we_o shall_v never_o attain_v for_o what_o he_o have_v already_o gain_v with_o a_o few_o penny_n and_o those_o get_v by_o beg_v that_o be_v i_o still_o toil_v for_o through_o so_o many_o wind_a and_o difficult_a path_n namely_o the_o pleasure_n of_o a_o temporal_a felicity_n it_o be_v grant_v that_o this_o be_v no_o true_a pleasure_n which_o he_o have_v but_o yet_o i_o in_o my_o ambition_n pursue_v a_o much_o false_a and_o sure_o merry_a he_o be_v whilst_o i_o perplex_v he_o in_o security_n whilst_o i_o in_o fear_n and_o the_o question_n be_v ask_v which_o be_v the_o better_a mirth_n or_o fear_v i_o shall_v have_v answer_v mirth_n doubtless_o yet_o be_v demand_v again_o which_o i_o will_v rather_o choose_v he_o or_o my_o own_o condition_n i_o shall_v have_v elect_v my_o own_o lade_v with_o care_n and_o fear_n as_o it_o be_v but_o this_o only_a out_o of_o a_o perverseness_n for_o be_v there_o any_o true_a reason_n for_o it_o for_o neither_o be_v i_o at_o all_o in_o this_o my_o choice_n to_o be_v prefer_v because_o the_o more_o learned_a since_o i_o joy_v not_o in_o it_o but_o in_o please_a man_n with_o it_o and_o not_o in_o teach_v they_o also_o with_o it_o but_o only_o in_o please_v they_o and_o therefore_o meanwhile_o thou_o do_v most_o just_o thus_o break_v my_o bone_n with_o the_o sâ—affe_n of_o thy_o severe_a discipline_n away_o with_o those_o therefore_o from_o my_o soul_n who_o say_v unto_o it_o that_o there_o be_v great_a difference_n what_o thing_n it_o be_v that_o one_o secular_o joy_n in_o drink_n be_v the_o cause_n of_o the_o beggar_n mirth_n glory_n be_v the_o object_n of_o i_o and_o what_o a_o glory_n be_v it_o o_o lord_n that_o be_v not_o in_o thou_o for_o as_o he_o be_v no_o true_a joy_n so_o neither_o be_v my_o true_a glory_n and_o much_o
seem_v to_o i_o as_o it_o be_v condemn_v to_o a_o capital_a punishment_n if_o give_v unto_o he_o chap_n xi_o his_o weep_a mother_n comfort_v *_o by_o a_o vision_n concern_v his_o conversion_n and_o thou_o send_v thy_o hand_n from_o above_o and_o draw_v my_o soul_n out_o of_o this_o profound_a darkness_n whilst_o my_o mother_n be_v one_o of_o thy_o fideles_fw-la thy_o all_o and_o only_o the_o baptise_a be_v call_v fideles_fw-la faithful_a weep_v for_o i_o unto_o thou_o far_o more_o bitter_o than_o other_o mother_n bewail_v any_o corporeal_a funeral_n for_o well_o discern_v she_o that_o my_o far_a worse_a death_n by_o the_o faith_n and_o the_o spirit_n which_o she_o have_v from_o thou_o and_o thou_o hearken_v unto_o she_o thou_o hearken_v unto_o she_o nor_o despise_v thou_o her_o tear_n when_o stream_a from_o she_o they_o water_v the_o ground_n in_o every_o place_n of_o her_o devotion_n and_o thou_o hearken_v unto_o she_o for_o whence_o else-came-that_a dream_n wherewith_o thou_o comfort_v she_o so_o far_o as_o to_o persuade_v she_o that_o i_o shall_v live_v with_o she_o again_o and_o sit_v at_o the_o same_o table_n in_o the_o house_n again_o with_o she_o a_o thing_n she_o have_v begin_v to_o be_v averse_a from_o avoid_v and_o detest_a the_o horrid_a blasphemy_n of_o those_o my_o error_n for_o she_o see_v in_o her_o sleep_n herself_o stand_v upon_o a_o certain_a straight_o wooden_a rule_n and_o come_v towards_o her_o a_o beautiful_a young_a man_n cheerful_a and_o smile_v upon_o she_o as_o she_o be_v weep_v and_o spend_v with_o grief_n who_o ask_v the_o cause_n of_o that_o her_o sorrow_n and_o daily_a tear_n with_o intention_n to_o instruct_v not_o to_o learn_v of_o her_z and_o she_o answer_v that_o it_o be_v my_o perdition_n she_o so_o bewail_v he_o bid_v she_o be_v secure_a and_o wish_v she_o to_o look_v about_o and_o she_o shall_v see_v that_o where_o she_o be_v i_o be_v also_o who_o when_o she_o look_v aside_o see_v i_o close_o by_o she_o stand_v upon_o the_o same_o rule_n and_o from_o whence_o all_o this_o but_o from_o thy_o attentive_a ear_n former_o bow_v to_o her_o pray_a heart_n o_o thou_o good_a omnipotent_a so_o care_v for_o every_o one_o of_o we_o as_o if_o thou_o care_v for_o he_o only_o yet_o so_o care_v for_o all_o as_o for_o any_o one_o whence_o again_o be_v that_o also_o that_o she_o relate_v to_o i_o her_o vision_n and_o i_o interpret_n it_o thus_o that_o she_o rather_o shall_v not_o despair_v of_o be_v one_o day_n what_o i_o be_v sudden_o without_o any_o hesitation_n no_o say_v she_o for_o it_o be_v not_o say_v to_o i_o where_o he_o there_o also_o you_o but_o where_o you_o there_o also_o he_o i_o confess_v unto_o thou_o o_o lord_n as_o much_o as_o i_o remember_v and_o i_o have_v often_o speak_v of_o it_o that_o this_o answer_n of_o thy_o give_fw-mi i_o by_o my_o mother_n when_o she_o be_v now_o awake_a that_o she_o not_o at_o all_o perplex_v with_o that_o false_a but_o indeed_o very_o colourable_a interpretation_n of_o i_o so_o quick_o see_v that_o which_o also_o myself_o before_o she_o speak_v it_o have_v not_o observe_v strike_v i_o even_o at_o that_o time_n far_o more_o than_o her_o dream_n in_o which_o this_o pious_a woman_n have_v her_o joy_n to_o come_v so_o long_o after_o foretell_v she_o for_o the_o solace_n of_o her_o present_a grief_n so_o long_o before_o for_o there_o succeed_v yet_o almost_o nine_o year_n in_o which_o i_o endeavour_v often_o to_o arise_v and_o by_o this_o still_o plunge_v so_o much_o the_o deep_a lie_v wallow_v in_o the_o mire_n of_o that_o pit_n and_o darkness_n of_o error_n the_o while_n that_o chaste_a devout_a sober_a widow_n such_o as_o thou_o love_v already_o much_o chearfull_a in_o her_o hope_n but_o no_o whit_n slack_a in_o her_o weep_n and_o lament_n never_o cease_v at_o all_o the_o hour_n of_o her_o devotion_n to_o bewail_v my_o condition_n unto_o thou_o and_o her_o prayer_n find_v admittance_n into_o thy_o presence_n and_o notwithstanding_o thou_o let_v i_o go_v on_o to_o be_v involve_v and_o reinvolve_v more_o and_o more_o in_o that_o cloud_n of_o darkness_n chap._n xii_o and_o *_o by_o the_o answer_n of_o a_o bishop_n who_o notwithstanding_o refuse_v to_o reason_n with_o he_o as_o yet_o too-self-conceited_n and_o in_o this_o interim_n thou_o give_v she_o yet_o another_o answer_n which_o now_o i_o call_v to_o mind_n for_o many_o thing_n i_o omit_v haste_v to_o those_o which_o more_o urge_v my_o confession_n unto_o thou_o and_o many_o thing_n i_o have_v forget_v thou_o give_v therefore_o yet_o another_o answer_n by_o thy_o priest_n a_o certain_a bishop_n one_o nurse_v within_o the_o bosom_n of_o thy_o church_n and_o well-experienced_a in_o thy_o book_n who_o that_o woman_n solicit_v that_o he_o will_v vouchsafe_v a_o conference_n with_o i_o to_o refute_v my_o error_n and_o to_o unteach_v i_o ill_o and_o to_o instruct_v i_o good_a thing_n for_o this_o he_o do_v where_o haply_o he_o find_v person_n capable_a he_o refuse_v and_o that_o very_o prudent_o as_o i_o perceive_v since_o answer_v she_o that_o i_o be_v as_o yet_o indocile_a be_v swell_v and_o puff_v up_o with_o the_o novelty_n of_o that_o heresy_n for_o already_o i_o have_v nettle_v divers_a unexpert_a man_n with_o some_o trifle_a question_n as_o she_o also_o have_v declare_v unto_o he_o but_o let_v he_o alone_o say_v he_o where_o he_o be_v only_o pray_v to_o our_o lord_n for_o he_o in_o read_v he_o will_v at_o length_n discover_v what_o that_o error_n be_v and_o how_o great_a its_o impiety_n he_o tell_v also_o that_o he_o when_o a_o little_a one_o be_v by_o his_o seduce_a mother_n commit_v to_o the_o manichee_n institution_n and_o have_v not_o only_o read_v but_o also_o copy_v out_o almost_o all_o their_o book_n and_o that_o himself_o discern_v unoppose_v or_o convince_v by_o any_o how_o much_o to_o be_v abhor_v that_o impious_a sect_n be_v and_o that_o so_o he_o forsake_v it_o this_o say_v and_o she_o nevertheless_o not_o satisfy_v but_o persist_v with_o much_o entreat_v and_o weep_v much_o that_o he_o will_v see_v i_o will_v discourse_v with_o i_o now_o a_o little_a disgu_v with_o this_o her_o importunity_n go_v your_o way_n say_v he_o and_o may_v you_o live_v happy_a for_o it_o can_v be_v that_o the_o child_n of_o those_o tear_n shall_v miscarry_v which_o speech_n she_o receive_v in_o such_o manner_n as_o she_o have_v since_o many_o time_n tell_v i_o as_o if_o a_o oracle_n from_o heaven_n have_v sound_v it_o unto_o she_o lib_fw-la iv_o chap._n i._n from_o the_o nineteenth_o to_o his_o twenty_o eight_o year_n continue_v addict_v to_o the_o manichee_n for_o this_o space_n of_o nine_o year_n from_o the_o nineteenth_o of_o my_o age_n to_o the_o twenty-eighth_a we_o live_v in_o various_a lust_n seduce_v and_o seduce_v deceive_v and_o deceive_a open_o by_o the_o science_n which_o they_o call_v liberal_a secret_o with_o a_o false-named_n religion_n here_o arrogant_a there_o superstitious_a every_o where_o vain_a and_o zealous_a of_o the_o emptiness_n of_o popular_a praise_n in_o theatrical_a applause_n and_o play_v public_a prize_n of_o wit_n and_o in_o contention_n for_o crown_n of_o hay_n and_o the_o foolery_n of_o show_n and_o the_o excess_n of_o lust_n from_o which_o uncleanness_n otherwhiles_o desire_v expiation_n in_o the_o company_n of_o those_o who_o be_v call_v the_o elect_n and_o the_o saint_n we_o sacrament_n we_o the_o manichee_n sacrament_n carry_v provision_n which_o in_o the_o forge_n of_o their_o stomach_n be_v to_o be_v mould_v into_o angel_n and_o god_n by_o who_o we_o be_v to_o be_v cleanse_v such_o thing_n i_o follow_v and_o such_o thing_n i_o practise_v i_o and_o my_o friend_n seduce_v both_o with_o and_o by_o i_o let_v the_o arrogant_a deride_v i_o and_o those_o not_o yet_o save_o cast_v down_o and_o break_v by_o thou_o o_o my_o god_n but_o let_v i_o continue_v to_o confess_v unto_o thou_o my_o disgrace_n to_o thy_o praise_n permit_v i_o pray_v thou_o and_o grant_v unto_o i_o with_o a_o present_a memory_n to_o repass_v through_o all_o those_o past_a circle_n of_o my_o error_n and_o from_o thence_o to_o offer_v unto_o thou_o the_o sacrifice_n of_o joy_n for_o what_o be_o i_o to_o myself_o at_o any_o time_n without_o thou_o but_o a_o infant_n suck_v thy_o milk_n and_o feed_v on_o thou_o the_o meat_n not_o perish_v nay_o what_o be_v any_o man_n that_o man_n be_v let_v they_o laugh_v at_o we_o then_o the_o strong_a and_o mighty_a whilst_o we_o the_o infirm_a and_o poor_a confess_v unto_o thou_o chap._n ii_o of_o his_o teach_a rhetoric_n in_o thagaste_n the_o city_n where_o he_o be_v bear_v his_o have_v a_o concubine_n yet_o true_a to_o her_o bed_n his_o play_v a_o prize_n of_o poetry_n on_o the_o theatre_n yet_o refuse_v
because_o the_o more_o i_o love_v he_o the_o more_o i_o abhor_a and_o dread_a that_o my_o cruel_a enemy_n death_n that_o bereave_v i_o of_o he_o fancy_v it_o a_o monster_n that_o will_v soon_o devour_v the_o rest_n of_o man_n because_o it_o can_v destroy_v he_o even_o thus_o i_o well_o remember_v stand_v i_o then_o affect_v behold_v my_o heart_n o_o my_o god_n behold_v and_o see_v into_o i_o how_o i_o remember_v this_o very_a well_o o_o thou_o my_o hope_n that_o now_o cleanse_v i_o from_o the_o impurity_n of_o such_o passion_n guide_v my_o eye_n unto_o thy_o beauty_n and_o pluck_v my_o foot_n out_o of_o these_o snare_n for_o i_o wonder_v much_o that_o the_o rest_n of_o mortal_n can_v any_o long_o live_v when_o he_o who_o i_o love_v as_o a_o thing_n immortal_a be_v now_o dead_a and_o yet_o more_o wonder_v that_o myself_o be_v only_o another_o he_o can_v live_v when_o he_o be_v go_v well_o say_v one_o of_o his_o friend_n animae_fw-la dimidium_fw-la mea_fw-la half_a of_o my_o soul_n for_o i_o deem_v he_o and_o i_o to_o be_v but_o one_o soul_n as_o it_o be_v in_o different_a body_n and_o therefore_o my_o life_n be_v a_o horror_n to_o i_o who_o will_v not_o live_v thus_o a_o half_n and_o death_n yet_o a_o great_a affright_n to_o i_o lest_o he_o shall_v perish_v all_o who_o i_o so_o passionate_o love_v confessio_fw-la love_v s._n austin_n review_v this_o work_n in_o his_o retractation_n 2._o l._n 6._o c._n censure_v this_o expression_n quasi_fw-la declamatio_fw-la levis_fw-la potius_fw-la quam_fw-la gravis_fw-la confessio_fw-la chap._n vii_o he_o forsake_v the_o place_n of_o their_o acquaintance_n and_o go_v to_o carthage_n o_o fond_a madness_n that_o know_v not_o how_o to_o love_v man_n men-like_a o_o sottish_a man_n so_o impatient_o take_v to_o heart_n accident_n only_o humane_a such_o as_o poor_a i_o then_o be_v therefore_o i_o storm_v and_o sigh_v and_o weep_v and_o be_v distract_v bereave_v both_o of_o content_n and_o counsel_n for_o i_o carry_v about_o a_o soul_n all_o lacerate_v and_o gore_v in_o blood_n and_o impatient_a long_o to_o be_v carry_v by_o i_o and_o where_o to_o repose_v it_o i_o find_v not_o not_o in_o delightsome_a grove_n nor_o in_o play_n and_o music_n not_o in_o fragrant_a odour_n nor_o in_o exquisite_a banquet_n not_o in_o the_o pleasure_n of_o the_o chamber_n or_o of_o the_o bed_n not_o in_o book_n or_o poesy_n take_v it_o any_o rest_n all_o thing_n look_v ghastly_a even_o the_o day_n and_o whatever_o it_o be_v that_o be_v not_o he_o importune_v it_o be_v and_o loathsome_a except_o mourning_n and_o tear_n and_o in_o these_o only_a it_o find_v some_o small_a content_n and_o when_o at_o any_o time_n i_o retire_v my_o soul_n from_o these_o i_o be_v re-surcharged_n with_o the_o grievous_a burden_n of_o my_o misery_n which_o be_v only_o to_o be_v lighten_v by_o thou_o o_o lord_n only_o by_o thou_o to_o be_v remove_v and_o i_o know_v this_o but_o yet_o be_v so_o much_o the_o less_o either_o willing_a or_o able_a to_o find_v remedy_n because_o thou_o then_o to_o i_o be_v no_o solid_a or_o stable_a thing_n when_o my_o despair_a thought_n flee_v for_o support_v unto_o thou_o for_o it_o be_v not_o thou_o but_o a_o empty_a phantasm_n and_o my_o own_o error_n that_o be_v my_o god_n whereon_o assay_v â—o_o place_n my_o soul_n that_o it_o may_v find_v some_o stay_n through_o this_o inanity_n it_o still_o relapsed_a and_o again_o come_v roll_v back_o upon_o i_o and_o myself_o remain_v the_o alone_a unhappy_a place_n to_o myself_o where_o i_o can_v neither_o be_v nor_o be_v from_o thence_o for_o whether_o can_v my_o heart_n from_o my_o heart_n fly_v away_o where_o can_v i_o avoid_v myself_o and_o where_o will_v not_o myself_o follow_v i_o and_o yet_o far_o from_o my_o country_n i_o flee_v for_o my_o eye_n less_o miss_v he_o where_o they_o be_v not_o use_v to_o see_v he_o and_o thus_o forsake_v tagaste_n i_o go_v to_o carthage_n chap._n viii_o his_o wound_n eur_v by_o time_n and_o new_a friendship_n time_n do_v not_o lose_v time_n nor_o idle_o roll_v away_o by_o these_o our_o sense_n but_o in_o the_o mind_n produce_v strange_a operation_n behold_v they_o come_v and_o go_v day_n by_o day_n and_o in_o come_v and_o pass_v they_o insinuate_v into_o i_o other_o image_n and_o other_o remembrance_n and_o by_o degree_n repair_v i_o with_o my_o former_o know_a delight_n to_o which_o that_o my_o grief_n at_o length_n give_v place_n but_o there_o succeed_v though_o no_o new_a sorrow_n yet_o the_o cause_n only_o of_o more_o sorrow_n for_o whence_o do_v that_o my_o last_o grief_n so_o easy_o and_o so_o deep_o wound_v i_o but_o because_o i_o have_v spill_v my_o soul_n upon_o a_o bed_n of_o sand_n and_o love_v a_o mortal_a as_o if_o he_o can_v not_o die_v and_o that_o which_o recover_v and_o repair_v i_o of_o this_o be_v but_o like_a solace_n of_o other_o mortal_a friend_n with_o who_o i_o love_v something_o which_o be_v not_o love_v for_o thou_o even_o those_o fabulous_a delusion_n manicheisme_n delusion_n manicheisme_n and_o long-spun_a lie_n by_o the_o adulterous_a touch_n whereof_o our_o lascivient_fw-la mind_n through_o our_o itch_a ear_n become_v still_o more_o defile_v nor_o do_v these_o delusion_n perish_v to_o i_o when_o my_o friend_n do_v beside_o which_o there_o be_v also_o many_o other_o thing_n cement_n together_o our_o affection_n to_o chat_v and_o laugh_v together_o civil_a obsequiousness_n and_o mutual_a compliance_n together_o to_o read_v merry_a book_n to_o jest_v together_o and_o together_o be_v solemn_a to_o dissent_v from_o one_o another_o sometime_o without_o offence_n and_o as_o a_o man_n will_v do_v from_o himself_o and_o by_o this_o disagree_v in_o some_o very_o few_o thing_n to_o season_n and_o relish_v the_o more_o our_o consentment_n in_o the_o rest_n to_o teach_v one_o another_o somewhat_o or_o somewhat_o to_o learn_v to_o expect_v those_o absent_a with_o impatience_n embrace_v their_o return_n with_o joy_n it_o be_v usual_a by_o these_o and_o the_o like_a express_v and_o emanation_n from_o heart_n continual_o reflect_v interchange_v love_n through_o the_o countenance_n through_o the_o tongue_n through_o the_o eye_n and_o through_o a_o thousand_o other_o charm_a motion_n as_o it_o be_v by_o so_o much_o fuel_n heap_v on_o these_o fire_n to_o melt_v down_o soul_n and_o to_o cast_v many_o of_o they_o into_o one_o chap._n ix_o yet_o these_o too_o fail_v he_o and_o this_o be_v it_o that_o be_v love_v in_o a_o friend_n and_o so_o love_v that_o the_o conscience_n be_v self-accused_n in_o any_o who_o continue_v not_o to_o love_v he_o who_o love_v he_o again_o or_o who_o love_v not_o that_o man_n again_o who_o love_v he_o first_o require_v nothing_o from_o his_o body_n but_o only_a demonstration_n of_o his_o affection_n and_o for_o this_o be_v those_o mourning_n if_o one_o die_v and_o night_n of_o sorrow_n and_o a_o languish_a heart_n have_v all_o its_o sweet_n convert_v into_o bitterness_n and_o from_o the_o dear_a loss_n of_o the_o life_n of_o those_o who_o be_v dead_a even_o the_o death_n of_o those_o alive_a but_o alway-blessed_n he_o who_o love_v *_o thou_o and_o in_o thou_o *_o his_o friend_n and_o for_o thou_o *_o his_o eenmy_n for_o he_o alone_o lose_v nothing_o dear_a to_o who_o all_o be_v dear_a only_o in_o he_o who_o he_o never_o lose_v and_o who_o be_v this_o neverlost_a but_o our_o god_n the_o god_n that_o make_v and_o fill_v heaven_n and_o earth_n 17.71_o jer._n 23.24_o ps_n 119.142_o jo._n 17.71_o and_o that_o even_o by_o fill_v they_o make_v they_o thou_o none_o lose_v but_o who_o leave_v and_o who_o so_o leave_v thou_o whither_o go_v he_o or_o whither_o do_v he_o fly_v but_o from_o thou_o gracious_a back_o again_o to_o thou_o offend_v for_o in_o what_o place_n find_v he_o not_o the_o presence_n of_o thy_o law_n in_o his_o punishment_n and_o thy_o law_n be_v truth_n and_o truth_n be_v thyself_o chap._n x._o all_o thing_n love_v beside_o god_n pass_v away_o and_o leave_v the_o lover_n to_o embrace_v sorrow_n 80.19_o ps_n 80.19_o tvrn_v we_o unto_o thou_o o_o god_n of_o power_n show_v we_o the_o beauty_n of_o thy_o countenance_n and_o we_o shall_v be_v whole_a for_o which_o way_n soever_o the_o soul_n of_o man_n turn_v itself_o it_o be_v consign_v unto_o sorrow_n unless_o only_o towards_o thou_o yea_o though_o it_o seize_v upon_o all_o those_o other_o beauty_n that_o be_v out_o of_o itself_o and_o out_o of_o thou_o which_o yet_o can_v be_v none_o at_o all_o unless_o they_o be_v from_o thou_o all_o which_o have_v their_o rise_n and_o their_o set_n their_o spring_n and_o their_o fall_n and_o in_o their_o spring_a they_o begin_v as_o it_o be_v to_o be_v and_o then_o grow_v on_o to_o attain_v perfection_n perfect_v
heart_n and_o always_o in_o her_o prayer_n present_v and_o press_v as_o thy_o own_o hand-writing_n before_o thou_o for_o thou_o be_v please_v because_o everlasting_a be_v thy_o mercy_n not_o only_o to_o remit_v unto_o we_o all_o our_o debt_n but_o often_o with_o thy_o promise_n to_o become_v our_o debtor_n chap._n x._o recover_v he_o still_o consort_n with_o the_o manichee_n retain_v many_o of_o their_o error_n the_o chief_a of_o which_o be_v his_o imagine_v god_n a_o corporeal_a substance_n but_o with_o much_o more_o remisseness_n then_o former_o thus_o thou_o recover_v i_o from_o that_o sickness_n and_o heal_v the_o son_n of_o thy_o handmaid_n first_o in_o body_n that_o afterward_o thou_o may_v confer_v upon_o he_o a_o more_o excellent_a and_o permanent_a sanity_n of_o his_o soul_n too_o and_o here_o also_o at_o rome_n i_o usual_o converse_v with_o the_o same_o sect_n of_o those_o deceive_v and_o deceive_v saint_n not_o only_o with_o their_o auditor_n as_o they_o be_v call_v in_o the_o house_n of_o one_o of_o who_o i_o have_v this_o sickness_n and_o recovery_n but_o also_o with_o those_o who_o for_o their_o holiness_n they_o call_v the_o elect._n with_o who_o i_o also_o entertain_v the_o same_o conceit_n that_o it_o be_v not_o i_o that_o sin_v but_o i_o know_v not_o what_o other_o foreign_a nature_n that_o be_v in_o i_o and_o my_o pride_n be_v much_o please_v thus_o to_o be_v faultless_a and_o when_o i_o commit_v any_o sin_n i_o be_v ready_a not_o to_o make_v confession_n thereof_o that_o thou_o may_v heal_v my_o soul_n because_o i_o have_v sin_v against_o thou_o but_o to_o excuse_v my_o soul_n and_o lay_v the_o fault_n upon_o something_o else_o beside_o i_o which_o i_o grant_v indeed_o be_v join_v with_o i_o but_o be_v not_o me._n yet_o alas_o the_o whole_a be_v nothing_o but_o i_o and_o my_o impiety_n only_o it_o be_v that_o have_v thus_o divide_v i_o against_o myself_o and_o this_o any_o sin_n be_v the_o more_o incurable_a because_o i_o conceit_v myself_o no_o sinner_n and_o much_o more_o execrable_a this_o my_o iniquity_n in_o that_o i_o blasphemous_o have_v rather_o that_o thou_o o_o omnipotent_a god_n shall_v be_v overcome_v by_o i_o know_v not_o what_o contrary_a principle_n in_o i_o to_o my_o destruction_n than_o that_o i_o shall_v humble_v myself_o a_o sinner_n to_o be_v conquer_v by_o thou_o and_o thy_o grace_n to_o my_o salvation_n vulgar_a ps_n 39.1.2_o 3_o and_o ps_n 141.3.4_o see_v the_o vulgar_a for_o thou_o have_v not_o as_o yet_o set_v a_o watch_n before_o my_o mouth_n and_o a_o door_n of_o caution_n about_o my_o lip_n that_o my_o heart_n may_v not_o decline_v to_o wicked_a speech_n to_o excuse_v the_o excuse_n make_v for_o sin_n with_o the_o man_n that_o work_v iniquity_n and_o therefore_o i_o retain_v still_o a_o close_a combination_n with_o these_o elect_n yet_o so_o as_o that_o i_o despair_v of_o any_o further_a progress_n in_o that_o false_a doctrine_n and_o be_v very_o remiss_a in_o my_o present_a opinion_n resolve_v to_o keep_v they_o only_o if_o no_o better_o can_v be_v find_v be_v often_o reflect_v on_o the_o prudence_n of_o those_o philosopher_n who_o in_o all_o thing_n recommend_v doubt_v and_o contend_v that_o nothing_o can_v be_v know_v certain_o but_o from_o the_o great_a acquaintance_n contract_v with_o this_o sect_n of_o who_o rome_n private_o shelter_n not_o a_o few_o i_o be_v render_v somewhat_o lasier_n to_o seek_v truth_n elsewhere_o and_o lâ—st_v of_o all_o imagine_a that_o within_o thy_o church_n o_o lord_n of_o heaven_n and_o earth_n and_o creator_n of_o all_o visibles_n and_o invisibles_n can_v be_v find_v that_o truth_n from_o the_o which_o they_o have_v long_o avert_v i_o for_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o a_o thing_n too_o gross_a and_o unseemly_a to_o imagine_v thou_o to_o have_v as_o they_o have_v inform_v i_o that_o thy_o church_n do_v teach_v the_o shape_n of_o our_o humane_a flesh_n and_o to_o be_v confine_v and_o gird_v up_o with_o the_o narrow_a lineament_n of_o our_o member_n and_o indeed_o this_o very_a thing_n that_o when_o i_o go_v to_o form_v to_o myself_o a_o idea_n of_o my_o lord_n god_n i_o can_v fancy_v nothing_o but_o a_o certain_a corporeal_a substance_n and_o bulk_n for_o i_o suppose_v beside_o this_o nothing_o in_o nature_n and_o that_o what_o have_v no_o body_n have_v no_o be_v this_o i_o say_v be_v the_o great_a and_o almost_a the_o only_a cause_n of_o that_o my_o hence_o inevitable_a error_n for_o from_o this_o i_o imagine_v a_o certain_a substance_n of_o evil_a to_o be_v the_o like_a and_o to_o have_v a_o corporeal_a bulk_n malignant_a and_o hideous_a and_o this_o either_o more_o gross_a which_o they_o call_v earth_n or_o more_o tenuous_a and_o subtle_a as_o the_o body_n of_o the_o air_n be_v which_o they_o imagine_v to_o be_v a_o malign_a mind_n or_o soul_n glide_v every_o where_n through_o the_o other_o more_o earthly_a matter_n and_o because_o the_o less_o piety_n i_o then_o have_v force_v i_o to_o believe_v that_o the_o good_a god_n create_v no_o nature_n evil_a therefore_o i_o make_v two_o corporeal_a mass_n opposite_a to_o one_o another_o both_o infinite_a but_o the_o evil_a much_o straight_a the_o good_a much_o 〈◊〉_d and_o from_o this_o pestilential_a source_n issue_v all_o the_o rest_n of_o my_o sacrilegious_a opinion_n and_o when_o at_o any_o time_n i_o will_v have_v make_v a_o retreat_n to_o the_o catholic_n faith_n i_o be_v repulse_v by_o this_o fancy_n because_o indeed_o that_o be_v not_o the_o faith_n catholic_n which_o i_o think_v to_o be_v so_o for_o i_o suppose_v it_o a_o much_o more_o reverend_a piety_n to_o imagine_v thou_o my_o god_n to_o who_o thy_o mercy_n wrought_v in_o i_o do_v now_o confess_v it_o infinite_a on_o many_o side_n though_o on_o one_o bound_v with_o a_o contrary_a mass_n of_o evil_a than_o to_o be_v on_o every_o side_n confine_v and_o compassed-in_a by_o the_o form_n and_o lineament_n of_o a_o humane_a body_n such_o as_o be_v suppose_v by_o i_o to_o be_v the_o faith_n of_o thy_o church_n again_o i_o think_v it_o more_o honourable_a to_o believe_v that_o thou_o creat_v not_o evil_a suppose_v it_o a_o substance_n corporeal_a for_o i_o acknowledge_v no_o entity_n but_o such_o and_o even_a mental_n to_o be_v more_o tenuous_a body_n than_o to_o think_v it_o such_o a_o nature_n to_o flow_v from_o thou_o aga_n n_z for_o thy_o only_o beget_v son_n our_o saviour_n who_o i_o fancy_v to_o be_v stream_v forth_o from_o the_o lucid_a part_n of_o thy_o mass_n for_o our_o salvation_n i_o suppose_v that_o such_o a_o nature_n can_v not_o be_v bear_v of_o the_o virgin_n mary_n without_o be_v coagulate_v with_o flesh_n and_o that_o in_o such_o a_o mixture_n flesh_n be_v a_o part_n of_o the_o substance_n of_o evil_a as_o i_o imagine_v such_o sovereign_a purity_n can_v not_o but_o be_v contaminate_v and_o stain_v and_o therefore_o i_o fear_v to_o believe_v he_o bear_v in_o the_o flesh_n lest_o i_o shall_v make_v he_o defile_v by_o the_o flesh_n thy_o spiritual_a one_o will_v gentle_o smile_v at_o this_o my_o folly_n when_o they_o shall_v read_v these_o my_o confession_n yet_o true_a it_o be_v that_o such_o a_o one_o than_o i_o be_v chap._n xi_o especial_o find_v the_o manichee_n not_o clear_o to_o answer_v to_o the_o objection_n of_o catholic_n make_v out_o of_o the_o scripture_n yet_o for_o all_o this_o though_o that_o which_o these_o object_v against_o thy_o scripture_n i_o think_v can_v no_o way_n be_v defend_v i_o have_v a_o desire_n to_o confer_v every_o particular_a with_o some_o person_n more_o excellent_o skill_v in_o those_o holy_a book_n and_o to_o know_v the_o uttermost_a of_o the_o church_n opinion_n and_o this_o the_o rather_o because_o one_o helpidius_n dispute_v in_o public_a with_o the_o manichee_n at_o carthage_n have_v not_o a_o little_a move_v i_o in_o press_v many_o thing_n out_o of_o the_o scripture_n against_o which_o i_o seem_v little_o can_v be_v say_v and_o that_o answer_v of_o they_o seem_v very_o weak_a which_o they_o do_v not_o so_o frequent_o give_v in_o public_a as_o private_o to_o we_o namely_o that_o the_o scripture_n of_o the_o new_a testament_n be_v much_o falsify_v by_o some_o i_o know_v not_o who_o that_o intend_a to_o insert_v the_o jewish_a law_n into_o the_o christian_a faith_n yet_o themselves_o produce_v no_o other_o copy_n thereof_o which_o be_v unsophisticated_a but_o all_o this_o while_n that_o which_o chief_o oppress_v and_o suffocate_v i_o be_v the_o conceit_n i_o have_v only_o of_o corporeal_a bulk_n and_o magnitude_n of_o all_o thing_n under_o which_o mass_n i_o lie_v gasp_v after_o the_o free_a air_n of_o thy_o truth_n but_o can_v not_o as_o yet_o breath_n in_o the_o purity_n and_o simplicity_n thereof_o chap._n xii_o have_v set_v up_o a_o rhetorick-school_n at_o
prepare_v whatever_o it_o may_v be_v though_o see_v to_o despise_v it_o open_v his_o eye_n and_o hence_o be_v present_o strike_v with_o a_o great_a wound_n in_o his_o soul_n than_o the_o gladiator_n behold_v by_o he_o be_v in_o his_o body_n and_o fall_v himself_o far_o more_o miserable_o than_o he_o at_o who_o fall_n this_o clamour_n be_v make_v which_o enter_v through_o his_o ear_n and_o unlock_v his_o eye_n through_o which_o a_o mortal_a blow_n be_v give_v to_o his_o soul_n yet_o more_o confident_a than_o confirm_v and_o for_o this_o also_o the_o weak_a that_o it_o presume_v to_o have_v from_o itself_o what_o it_o can_v owe_v to_o thou_o alone_o for_o no_o soon_o have_v he_o see_v that_o stream_n of_o blood_n but_o he_o also_o drink_v down_o the_o cruelty_n and_o savageness_n thereof_o with_o eye_n no_o more_o avert_v but_o fix_v upon_o it_o and_o he_o suck_v in_o those_o fury_n and_o know_v not_o and_o become_v delight_v with_o the_o crime_n of_o the_o combat_n and_o inebriate_v with_o those_o bloody_a pleasure_n and_o no_o more_o be_v he_o the_o man_n he_o come_v but_o now_o one_o of_o the_o multitude_n among_o who_o he_o sit_v and_o their_o true_a associate_n with_o who_o he_o come_v what_o shall_v i_o more_o say_v he_o behold_v he_o shout_v he_o grow_v hot_a upon_o the_o sport_n he_o carry_v away_o a_o long_a madness_n to_o return_v not_o only_o with_o his_o former_a seducer_n but_o before_o they_o and_o without_o they_o and_o seduce_a other_o and_o yet_o from_o hence_o also_o with_o a_o most_o strong_a and_o merciful_a hand_n thou_o save_v he_o and_o by_o this_o also_o learn_v he_o that_o he_o can_v have_v nothing_o from_o himself_o but_o all_o from_o thou_o but_o this_o be_v long_o afterward_o chap._n ix_o of_o his_o be_v apprehend_v when_o s._n augustine_n scholar_n at_o carthage_n for_o a_o thief_n his_o go_v to_o s._n austin_n to_o milan_n where_o he_o practise_v in_o the_o law_n and_o this_o his_o fall_n be_v lay_v up_o in_o his_o memory_n for_o a_o caution_n for_o the_o future_a as_o also_o be_v that_o which_o happen_v to_o he_o at_o carthage_n when_o my_o scholar_n where_o walk_v at_o midday_n in_o the_o forum_n meditate_v a_o exercise_n that_o he_o be_v afterward_o to_o recite_v he_o be_v apprehend_v by_o the_o officer_n of_o the_o forum_n for_o a_o thief_n which_o i_o suppose_v o_o our_o god_n thou_o permit_v for_o no_o other_o reason_n than_o that_o he_o so_o great_a a_o man_n that_o be_v to_o be_v may_v learn_v by_o this_o how_o wary_a one_o shall_v be_v in_o hear_v cause_n of_o hasty_o condemn_v any_o upon_o a_o slight_a credulity_n for_o as_o he_o be_v then_o walk_v alone_o with_o his_o table-book_n and_o stile_n in_o his_o hand_n before_o the_o tribunal_n another_o of_o the_o scholar_n a_o true_a thief_n carry_v secret_o a_o hatchet_n undiscovered_a by_o he_o have_v get_v into_o the_o lead_n that_o cover_v the_o silversmith_n shop_n and_o there_o fall_v on_o cut_v they_o the_o silversmith_n underneath_o hear_v the_o sound_n of_o the_o hatchet_n send_v some_o to_o apprehend_v any_o they_o shall_v find_v there_o and_o the_o youth_n overhear_v their_o murmur_n as_o quick_o leave_v his_o instrument_n for_o fear_v he_o shall_v be_v take_v with_o it_o and_o get_v away_o and_o alipius_n who_o see_v he_o though_o not_o at_o his_o go_v in_o yet_o come_v forth_o and_o make_v such_o haste_n away_o desirous_a to_o know_v the_o cause_n go_v into_o the_o place_n and_o take_v up_o the_o hatchet_n stand_v wonder_v what_o he_o have_v be_v do_v with_o it_o when_o they_o that_o be_v send_v come_v in_o and_o find_v he_o with_o the_o hatchet_n in_o his_o hand_n they_o lay_v hold_v on_o he_o draw_v he_o along_o and_o call_v the_o shopkeeper_n of_o the_o forum_n together_o rejoice_v as_o if_o they_o have_v take_v the_o true_a thief_n in_o the_o very_a act_n and_o so_o he_o be_v to_o be_v carry_v before_o the_o judge_n and_o thus_o far_o thy_o servant_n be_v to_o be_v instruct_v but_o thou_o o_o lord_n present_o relieve_v that_o his_o innocency_n of_o which_o thou_o be_v a_o sole_a witness_n for_o as_o he_o be_v lead_v either_o to_o prison_n or_o to_o punishment_n there_o meet_v he_o the_o architect_n that_o have_v the_o chief_a oversight_n of_o those_o public_a building_n and_o glad_a the_o officer_n be_v that_o they_o meet_v he_o especial_o who_o be_v apt_a to_o suspect_v some_o of_o they_o for_o the_o theft_n do_v there_o that_o he_o may_v now_o at_o length_n see_v who_o have_v do_v all_o those_o robbery_n but_o so_o it_o happen_v that_o this_o man_n have_v often_o see_v alipius_n in_o a_o senator_n house_n which_o he_o frequent_v and_o know_v he_o take_v he_o by_o the_o hand_n aside_o and_o be_v inform_v by_o he_o how_o all_o thing_n have_v pass_v and_o so_o entreat_v the_o people_n who_o make_v a_o great_a tumult_n and_o use_v many_o threat_n to_o go_v along_o with_o he_o he_o come_v to_o the_o house_n of_o the_o young_a man_n who_o have_v do_v the_o fact_n where_o stand_v at_o the_o door_n the_o gentleman_n boy_n who_o have_v attend_v on_o he_o in_o the_o forum_n so_o little_a a_o one_o as_o that_o he_o may_v tell_v all_o the_o matter_n without_o have_v suspicion_n therefrom_o of_o any_o hurt_n to_o his_o master_n alipius_n know_v he_o again_o straight_o intimate_v so_o much_o to_o the_o artificer_n and_o he_o present_o show_v the_o hatchet_n to_o the_o boy_n ask_v if_o he_o know_v who_o it_o may_v be_v who_o quick_o answer_v it_o be_v our_o hatchet_n then_o further_o examine_v tell_v all_o the_o rest_n so_o the_o crime_n be_v devolve_v on_o another_o and_o the_o insult_a multitude_n ashamed_a and_o he_o that_o be_v to_o be_v a_o dispenser_n of_o thy_o word_n and_o a_o examiner_n of_o many_o cause_n in_o thy_o church_n become_v more_o experience_v and_o instruct_v for_o his_o office_n chap._n x._o a_o memorable_a example_n of_o alipius_n his_o integrity_n concern_v his_o other_o friend_n nebridius_fw-la desert_v his_o country_n for_o st._n augustine_n society_n and_o the_o study_n of_o wisdom_n he_o therefore_o i_o find_v at_o rome_n and_o he_o there_o adhere_v to_o i_o with_o a_o most_o strong_a bond_n of_o friendship_n and_o go_v also_o with_o i_o to_o milan_n both_o for_o the_o enjoyment_n of_o my_o society_n and_o for_o follow_v the_o practice_n of_o the_o law_n there_o which_o he_o have_v study_v more_o from_o his_o parent_n than_o his_o own_o affection_n thereto_o in_o which_o employment_n he_o have_v be_v already_o a_o assessor_n l._n assessor_n see_v their_o office_n in_o pandect_a 1._o t._n 12._o l._n of_o justice_n much_o admire_v by_o the_o rest_n of_o his_o profession_n for_o his_o integrity_n and_o incorruptness_n and_o he_o as_o much_o wonder_a at_o they_o for_o their_o value_v gold_n above_o virtue_n and_o his_o inclination_n also_o have_v be_v strong_o but_o in_o vain_a assault_v not_o only_o with_o the_o bait_n of_o covetousness_n but_o the_o spurr_n of_o fear_n for_o at_o rome_n he_o be_v a_o assessor_n in_o court_n to_o the_o lord_n treasurer_n of_o the_o italian_a contribution_n there_o be_v a_o roman_a senator_n of_o great_a authority_n to_o who_o favour_n many_o be_v oblige_v and_o to_o who_o terror_n many_o obnoxious_a who_o will_v needs_o have_v i_o know_v not_o what_o usurpation_n allow_v to_o his_o power_n which_o be_v prohibit_v by_o the_o law_n alipius_n withstand_v he_o in_o it_o he_o be_v promise_v a_o reward_n he_o reject_v it_o with_o scorn_n be_v assault_v with_o threat_n slight_v they_o also_o whilst_o all_o admire_a such_o a_o extraordinary_a spirit_n that_o neither_o wish_v a_o man_n so_o great_a and_o renown_a for_o the_o many_o way_n he_o have_v of_o do_v courtesy_n and_o displeasure_n his_o friend_n nor_o fear_v he_o his_o enemy_n and_o the_o judge_n himself_o who_o assessor_n and_o counsellor_n he_o be_v though_o he_o have_v rather_o the_o senator_n suit_n shall_v not_o have_v be_v grant_v yet_o do_v not_o open_o declare_v himself_o against_o it_o but_o cast_v the_o blame_n upon_o alipius_n say_v that_o he_o will_v not_o consent_v thereto_o for_o indeed_o have_v he_o pass_v it_o the_o other_o will_v have_v go_v off_o the_o bench._n with_o one_o desire_n and_o that_o be_v in_o the_o way_n of_o his_o study_n be_v alipius_n almost_o oversway_v and_o that_o be_v to_o get_v himself_o a_o library_n of_o book_n take_v up_o at_o the_o praetor_n price_n but_o consult_v justice_n in_o this_o he_o rectify_v his_o purpose_n esteem_v equity_n more_o gainful_a to_o he_o by_o which_o he_o be_v prohibit_v this_o privilege_n than_o his_o power_n can_v be_v by_o which_o he_o may_v have_v use_v it_o 16.10_o luke_n 16.10_o what_o i_o have_v say_v of_o he_o be_v in_o no_o great_a matter_n but_o
away_o she_o depart_v into_o africa_n vow_v unto_o thou_o never_o to_o know_v any_o other_o man_n and_o leave_v with_o i_o the_o son_n i_o have_v by_o she_o but_o unhappy_a i_o not_o able_a to_o imitate_v a_o woman_n impatient_a of_o the_o two_o year_n delay_n in_o which_o time_n i_o may_v not_o enjoy_v she_o i_o make_v suit_n to_o and_o be_v not_o so_o much_o a_o lover_n of_o marriage_n as_o a_o slave_n of_o lust_n get_v i_o another_o though_o no_o wife_n that_o so_o by_o the_o continuance_n of_o the_o same_o custom_n with_o she_o i_o may_v sustain_v and_o preserve_v in_o its_o vigour_n or_o also_o augment_v that_o disease_n of_o my_o soul_n till_o it_o may_v arrive_v to_o the_o kingdom_n of_o marriage_n and_o thus_o be_v the_o wound_n that_o be_v make_v in_o i_o by_o the_o cut_n off_o of_o my_o former_a concubine_n not_o now_o cure_v at_o all_o but_z after_o most_o acute_a and_o burn_a torment_n grow_v more_o putrify_v and_o corrupt_a and_o under_o a_o cold_o and_o less_o violent_a pain_n a_o more_o desperate_a sore_n chap._n xvi_o yet_o his_o lust_n somewhat_o restrain_v from_o the_o fear_n he_o have_v *_o of_o death_n and_z *_o of_o the_o soul_n immortality_n and_o *_o of_o future_a judgement_n to_o thou_o be_v praise_n to_o thou_o be_v glory_n fountain_n of_o mercy_n thou_o come_v still_o more_o near_o as_o i_o become_v more_o wretched_a and_o even_o very_a now_o be_v thy_o right_a hand_n ready_a when_o i_o be_v quite_o sink_v to_o pull_v i_o out_o of_o this_o mire_n and_o to_o wash_v i_o clean_o and_o i_o know_v nothing_o thereof_o nor_o be_v there_o any_o thing_n that_o stay_v i_o from_o yet-a-deep_a stream_n of_o carnal_a voluptuousness_n save_o the_o fear_n of_o death_n and_o thy_o judgement_n to_o come_v which_o terror_n by_o all_o my_o various_a opinion_n can_v never_o be_v quite_o deface_v in_o my_o soul_n and_o often_o i_o reason_v with_o my_o friend_n alipius_n and_o nebridius_fw-la *_o of_o the_o end_n of_o good_a and_o wicked_a person_n and_o *_o that_o epicurus_n above_o all_o man_n with_o i_o shall_v carry_v away_o the_o prize_n but_o that_o i_o believe_v the_o soul_n after_o death_n still_o live_v and_o be_v treat_v according_a to_o its_o meritâ—_n a_o thing_n which_o epicurus_n credit_v not_o and_o i_o ask_v whether_o if_o so_o be_v we_o may_v be_v immortal_a and_o may_v live_v in_o the_o perpetuate_v pleasure_n of_o the_o body_n without_o any_o fear_n at_o all_o of_o lose_v they_o any_o more_o whether_o i_o say_v this_o be_v not_o enough_o to_o be_v happy_a or_o whether_o some_o thing_n else_o be_v desirable_a to_o it_o not_o know_v that_o this_o also_o be_v a_o great_a part_n of_o my_o misery_n that_o so_o deep_o plunge_v and_o blind_v i_o can_v not_o cast_v my_o thought_n upon_o the_o fair_a light_n of_o virtue_n and_o honesty_n and_o that_o sovereign_a beauty_n interior_o by_o the_o soul_n discern_v though_o not_o by_o the_o eye_n of_o flesh_n which_o be_v embrace_v gratis_o and_o without_o any_o bodily_a pleasure_n issue_v from_o it_o neither_o consider_v i_o so_o wretched_a from_o what_o principle_n it_o come_v that_o this_o be_v to_o i_o a_o great_a pleasure_n sweet_o to_o confer_v with_o my_o friend_n even_o concern_v these_o filthy_a pleasure_n and_o that_o without_o friend_n also_o i_o can_v not_o be_v happy_a according_a to_o my_o then_o opinion_n though_o in_o never_o so_o much_o affluence_n of_o those_o carnal_a delight_n yet_o which_o friend_n i_o love_v gratis_o without_o any_o interest_n of_o my_o corporal_a pleasure_n and_o so_o perceive_v myself_o gratis_o also_o of_o they_o belove_v o_o crooked_a path_n wo_n to_o the_o audacious_a soul_n that_o depart_v from_o thou_o foolish_o hope_n elsewhere_o to_o find_v something_o better_o and_o when_o she_o have_v turn_v and_o return_v herself_o on_o back_n and_o side_n and_o belly_n she_o find_v all_o thing_n hard_a and_o uneasy_a and_o thou_o only_o rest_v and_o yet_o behold_v thou_o patient_o stay_v by_o we_o and_o free_a we_o from_o these_o our_o miserable_a wander_n and_o put_v we_o into_o thy_o way_n and_o encourage_a we_o and_o say_v run_v and_o i_o will_v sustain_v you_o and_o i_o will_v conduct_v you_o through_o whither_o you_o desire_v to_o go_v and_o at_o your_o journey_n end_n also_o i_o will_v sustain_v you_o lib_fw-la vii_o chap._n i._n his_o entrance_n now_o be_v thirty_o year_n old_a into_o man_n estate_n his_o apprehension_n of_o god_n as_o inviolable_a incorruptible_a immutable_a every_o way_n infinite_a but_o yet_o corporeal_a *_o decease_a now_o be_v my_o youth_n so_o evil_a and_o so_o profane_a and_o i_o *_o enter_v into_o the_o state_n of_o manhood_n advance_v in_o vanity_n as_o in_o age_n and_o imagine_v no_o substance_n but_o only_o such_o as_o with_o these_o our_o eye_n we_o usual_o behold_v i_o indeed_o never_o think_v thou_o o_o god_n to_o bear_v a_o humane_a shape_n since_o the_o time_n i_o have_v hear_v any_o thing_n of_o wisdom_n i_o always_o avoid_v so_o gross_a a_o conceit_n and_o be_v much_o joy_v when_o i_o find_v the_o same_o also_o to_o be_v the_o faith_n of_o our_o spiritual_a mother_n thy_o catholic_n church_n but_o what_o other_o thing_n i_o shall_v think_v thou_o to_o be_v be_v not_o easy_o resolve_v and_o i_o a_o man_n and_o such_o a_o man_n yet_o endeavour_v to_o know_v and_o apprehend_v thou_o the_o supreme_a and_o the_o only_a and_o the_o true_a god_n and_o from_o the_o bottom_n of_o my_o soul_n i_o believe_v thou_o to_o be_v incorruptible_a and_o inviolable_a and_o immutable_a because_o how_o and_o whence_o i_o know_v not_o but_o i_o plain_o see_v and_o be_v assure_v 4._o exit_fw-la l._n 7._o c._n 4._o â–³_o that_o that_o which_o can_v be_v corrupt_v nor_o injure_v and_o hurt_v nor_o change_v be_v doubtless_o more_o perfect_a and_o more_o excellent_a than_o what_o be_v capable_a of_o corruption_n or_o violation_n or_o mutation_n and_o then_o again_o â–³_o that_o no_o soul_n ever_o be_v or_o shall_v be_v able_a to_o imagine_v any_o thing_n which_o shall_v be_v something_o better_a than_o thou_o who_o be_v the_o very_o best_a and_o chief_a good_n but_o since_o the_o incorruptible_a be_v most_o true_o and_o certain_o preferable_a before_o the_o corruptible_a i_o can_v with_o my_o thought_n have_v ascend_v unto_o something_o that_o will_v have_v be_v better_a than_o my_o god_n unless_o thou_o be_v incorruptible_a but_o still_o i_o be_v force_v to_o imagine_v thou_o though_o not_o figure_v like_o a_o man_n yet_o as_o something_o corporeal_a have_v a_o certain_a space_n of_o be_v either_o infuse_v into_o and_o through_o all_o the_o world_n or_o also_o diffuse_v infinite_o beyond_o it_o because_o what_o i_o abstract_v from_o be_v in_o such_o space_n seem_v to_o i_o not_o to_o be_v at_o all_o i_o therefore_o conceive_v thy_o greatness_n o_o life_n of_o my_o life_n to_o be_v such_o as_o to_o penetrate_v by_o a_o extension_n through_o a_o infinite_a space_n on_o every_o side_n the_o whole_a mass_n of_o the_o world_n and_o to_o flow_v to_o all_o immensity_n beyond_o it_o without_o any_o limit_n so_o that_o thou_o the_o earth_n have_v the_o heaven_n have_v thou_o all_o thing_n have_v thou_o and_o they_o be_v bound_v in_o thou_o but_o thou_o no_o where_o and_o as_o this_o body_n of_o air_n which_o float_v above_o the_o earth_n hinder_v not_o the_o dart_a of_o a_o sunbeam_n through_o it_o which_o beam_n penetrate_v it_o not_o by_o cut_v or_o break_v the_o part_n but_o by_o fill_v the_o whole_a in_o such_o manner_n i_o conceive_v the_o body_n not_o only_o of_o the_o heaven_n or_o of_o the_o air_n or_o water_n but_o of_o the_o thick_a earth_n also_o transpassable_a by_o thou_o and_o in_o all_o her_o least_o as_o well_o as_o great_a part_n pierceable_a to_o receive_v every_o where_o thy_o presence_n thus_o with_o thy_o secret_a inspiration_n both_o intrinsically_a and_o extrinsecal_o actuate_a and_o manage_v all_o those_o thing_n which_o thou_o have_v create_v so_o i_o conceit_a not_o able_a to_o think_v of_o any_o other_o way_n though_o this_o be_v false_a for_o thus_o a_o great_a part_n of_o earth_n will_v receive_v a_o great_a part_n of_o thy_o essence_n and_o a_o lesser_a a_o less_o and_o in_o such_o a_o sense_n will_v all_o thing_n be_v full_a of_o thou_o that_o the_o body_n of_o a_o elephant_n will_v contain_v a_o great_a quantity_n of_o thou_o than_o that_o of_o a_o sparrow_n by_o how_o much_o it_o be_v big_a an_o possess_v a_o great_a space_n and_o so_o thou_o shall_v apply_v thy_o presence_n to_o the_o part_n of_o the_o world_n by_o parcel_n a_o great_a part_n of_o thou_o to_o the_o large_a and_o a_o lesser_a to_o the_o small_a but_o thou_o be_v nothing_o so_o notwithstanding_o as_o yet_o thou_o have_v not_o so_o far_o
enlighten_v my_o darkness_n chap._n ii_o chap._n iii_o still_o unsatisfied_a concern_v the_o cause_n of_o evil_a and_o why_o angel_n and_o man_n be_v create_v by_o the_o most_o good_a god_n there_o shall_v by_o he_o be_v place_v in_o they_o a_o power_n to_o will_v evil_o but_o although_o i_o thus_o grant_v thou_o uncontaminable_a and_o unalterable_a or_o liable_a to_o misery_n in_o any_o part_n or_o member_n of_o thou_o from_o the_o manichean-feigned_n opposition_n of_o i_o know_v not_o what_o gens_n tenebrarum_fw-la or_o adverse_a malignant_a power_n arise_v out_o of_o another_o lump_n of_o matter_n contrary_a to_o that_o which_o thou_o have_v make_v which_o can_v it_o any_o way_n have_v hurt_v thou_o thou_o must_v then_o the_o very_a name_n of_o which_o all_o abhor_v have_v be_v suppose_v both_o violable_a and_o corruptible_a as_o be_v well_o press_v by_o nebridius_fw-la long_a since_o at_o carthage_n and_o have_v then_o much_o startle_v we_o that_o hear_v it_o and_o although_o i_o also_o firm_o acknowledge_v thou_o our_o lord_n the_o true_a god_n that_o make_v not_o only_o our_o soul_n principle_n soul_n whereas_o the_o manichee_n suppose_v the_o body_n produce_v by_o another_o evil_a principle_n but_o body_n but_o all_o *_o of_o we_o and_o *_o of_o all_o thing_n notwithstanding_o as_o yet_o i_o apprehend_v not_o clear_o and_o free_a from_o scruple_n the_o cause_n of_o evil._n yet_o whatever_o it_o be_v such_o i_o see_v it_o must_v necessary_o be_v as_o may_v no_o way_n oblige_v i_o to_o believe_v *_o thou_o the_o immutable_a god_n to_o be_v subject_a to_o change_v nor_o *_o thy_o substance_n to_o suffer_v evil_a rather_o than_o we_o to_o do_v any_o evil_n lest_o so_o myself_o shall_v become_v that_o i_o seek_v for_o and_o i_o strain_v hard_a to_o see_v and_o discern_v what_o i_o have_v hear_v that_o our_o own_o freewill_n be_v the_o cause_n that_o we_o do_v evil_a and_o thy_o righteous_a judgement_n that_o we_o suffer_v it_o but_o i_o be_v not_o yet_o able_a to_o behold_v this_o clear_o but_o as_o i_o endeavour_v to_o raise_v up_o the_o eye_n of_o my_o soul_n above_o these_o deep_a water_n i_o present_o sink_v again_o and_o often_o endeavour_v it_o i_o sink_v down_o again_o and_o again_o on_o the_o one_o side_n this_o elevate_a and_o buoy_v i_o up_o towards_o thy_o light_n that_o already_o i_o know_v as_o well_o myself_o to_o have_v a_o will_n as_o to_o live_v therefore_o in_o willing_a or_o nilling_a any_o thing_n i_o be_v most_o certain_a no_o other_o thing_n but_o i_o to_o will_n and_o will_v it_o and_o i_o quick_o observe_v also_o that_o the_o cause_n of_o my_o sin_n be_v there_o again_o whatever_o i_o do_v unwilling_o and_o with_o regret_n i_o see_v myself_o to_o suffer_v rather_o such_o evil_a than_o to_o do_v it_o and_o judge_v it_o to_o be_v not_o my_o fault_n but_o punishment_n which_o also_o i_o apprehend_v thou_o as_o just_a soon_o confess_v not_o to_o be_v unjust_o inflict_v but_o then_o i_o argue_v and_o who_o make_v i_o do_v not_o my_o god_n not_o only_o good_a but_o goodness_n itself_o from_o who_o have_v i_o then_o to_o will_v evil_o and_o to_o will_v well_o that_o so_o there_o may_v be_v that_o for_o what_o i_o may_v be_v just_o punish_v who_o put_v this_o thing_n into_o i_o who_o plant_v in_o i_o this_o root_n of_o bitterness_n all_o of_o i_o be_v make_v by_o the_o most_o sweet_a creator_n if_o the_o devil_n the_o author_n of_o it_o whence_o then_o the_o devil_n but_o if_o he_o also_o by_o a_o perverse_a will_n of_o a_o good_a angel_n become_v a_o devil_n whence_o come_v in_o he_o this_o evil_a will_n by_o which_o he_o become_v such_o since_o he_o total_o be_v make_v by_o the_o best_a god_n a_o good_a angel_n and_o by_o these_o thought_n be_v i_o plunge_v again_o and_o suffocate_v yet_o not_o so_o low_a as_o that_o infernal_a error_n to_o believe_v that_o thou_o rather_o do_v force_o suffer_v than_o man_n do_v evil_a chap._n iu._n chap._n v._n pursue_v the_o same_o query_n still_o unde_fw-la malum_fw-la yet_o *_o his_o faith_n of_o christ_n to_o be_v our_o lord_n and_o saviour_n remain_v in_o he_o firm_a and_o unshaken_a and_o i_o seek_v from_o whence_o evil_a may_v come_v and_o i_o seek_v evil_o yet_o see_v not_o this_o evil_a in_o my_o inquisition_n and_o my_o spirit_n place_v before_o it_o the_o whole_a universe_n both_o of_o visibles_fw-fr as_o the_o earth_n sea_n air_n starrs_n plant_n animal_n etc._n etc._n and_o of_o invisibles_fw-fr as_o the_o firmament_n of_o heaven_n and_o all_o the_o angel_n and_o spiritual_a inhabitant_n thereof_o after_o this_o i_o consider_v thou_o my_o god_n as_o every_o way_n infinite_a and_o boundless_a environ_v and_o entire_o penetrate_v this_o mass_n as_o a_o shoarless_a sea_n will_v fill_v a_o sponge_n of_o a_o great_a but_o finite_a magnitude_n place_v within_o it_o so_o conceive_v i_o the_o finite_a creature_n fill_v with_o thou_o the_o infinite_a god_n and_o i_o say_v within_o myself_o behold_v god_n and_o behold_v all_o the_o thing_n god_n have_v create_v o_o how_o good_a be_v he_o and_o most_o perfect_o and_o incomparable_o more_o excellent_a and_o better_a than_o they_o yet_o be_v good_a he_o create_v these_o good_a and_o behold_v how_o he_o outward_o encircle_v and_o within_z replenish_v all_o his_o creation_n where_o then_o be_v evil_a or_o whence_o or_o what_o way_n have_v it_o steal_v in_o hither_o what_o be_v the_o root_n and_o what_o the_o seed_n of_o it_o or_o indeed_o be_v it_o at_o all_o why_o fear_v we_o then_o and_o why_o avoid_v we_o that_o which_o be_v not_o or_o if_o we_o vain_o fear_v sure_o this_o fear_n itself_o be_v a_o evil_a by_o which_o our_o soul_n be_v needless_o prick_v and_o torture_v therefore_o either_o there_o be_v a_o evil_n which_o we_o fear_v or_o this_o that_o we_o shall_v so_o fear_v be_v a_o evil_a whence_o be_v it_o then_o because_o god_n make_v all_o these_o thing_n the_o good_a god_n all_o thing_n good_a he_o the_o great_a and_o the_o supreme_a good_a make_v these_o the_o lesser_a but_o yet_o both_o the_o create_v and_o the_o create_v all_o be_v good_a from_o whence_o then_o be_v evil_a or_o out_o of_o what_o do_v god_n make_v these_o thing_n be_v there_o some_o preexistent_a matter_n which_o be_v bad_a and_o he_o form_v and_o rectify_v this_o but_o so_o that_o he_o leave_v something_o in_o it_o not_o convert_v into_o good_a but_o why_o this_o then_o be_v he_o impotent_a to_o change_v it_o all_o that_o so_o no_o more_o evil_a shall_v remain_v in_o it_o who_o yet_o be_v omnipotent_a last_o why_o will_v he_o make_v any_o thing_n at_o all_o of_o it_o and_o not_o rather_o by_o the_o same_o omnipotence_n annihilate_v it_o and_o prepare_v another_o matter_n total_o good_a out_o of_o which_o he_o may_v produce_v all_o thing_n for_o he_o be_v not_o omnipotent_a if_o he_o can_v not_o make_v any_o good_a unless_o he_o be_v first_o furnish_v with_o some_o matter_n which_o himself_o have_v not_o make_v such_o thing_n i_o agitate_a in_o my_o perplex_a breast_n load_v with_o corrode_a care_n from_o fear_n of_o death_n and_o not_o find_v out_o the_o truth_n yet_o the_o faith_n concern_v christ_n both_o our_o lord_n and_o our_o saviour_n retain_v in_o the_o church_n catholic_n be_v irremovable_o fix_v in_o my_o heart_n in_o many_o thing_n indeed_o yet_o unformed_a and_o float_v beside_o the_o rule_n of_o sound_a doctrine_n but_o my_o mind_n do_v never_o forsake_v it_o yea_o daily_o more_o and_o more_o seek_v to_o embrace_v it_o chap._n vi_o and_o *_o the_o lie_a divination_n of_o astrologer_n foretell_v from_o the_o star_n future_a event_n no_o way_n credit_v by_o he_o already_o also_o i_o have_v cast_v off_o the_o lie_a divination_n and_o impious_a dotage_n of_o the_o astrologer_n vulg_n psal_n 106.8_o vulg_n and_o for_o this_o also_o let_v i_o confess_v unto_o thou_o from_o the_o bottom_n of_o my_o soul_n thy_o compassion_n o_o my_o god_n for_o it_o be_v thou_o thou_o alone_o for_o who_o else_o recal_v we_o from_o the_o death_n of_o any_o error_n but_o the_o life_n never_o die_a and_o the_o wisdom_n illuminate_v our_o needy_a mind_n need_v no_o illumination_n itself_o by_o which_o the_o whole_a world_n be_v orderly_o administer_v even_o to_o the_o wind-scattered_n leave_v of_o tree_n it_o be_v thou_o that_o procure_v for_o the_o remedy_n of_o my_o obstinacy_n 3._o obstinacy_n see_v l._n 4._o c._n 3._o which_o oppose_v both_o vendicianus_n a_o acute_a old_a man_n and_o nebridius_fw-la a_o youth_n of_o a_o excellent_a spirit_n the_o one_o vehement_o affirm_v the_o other_o somewhat_o doubtful_o yet_o often_o repeat_v that_o there_o be_v no_o art_n at_o all_o of_o foresee_v or_o divine_a thing_n future_a but_o that_o man_n conjecture_n have_v many_o time_n a_o