Ieroms preposterous zeale against Vigilantius let me answer with that wise towne-Clerke of Ephesus speaking to the tumultuous people Who knoweth not that virginity is precious But grant it be so What can it not be praised without the disgrace of marriage Is the eye of the one evill because the other is good Can no oblation pacifie the one but the honour of the other depraved and a sacrifice of the heads of married men doth she not cut downe the bowe she stands on yea breake her owne necke in destroying marriage To be sure none are so unfit to commend or defend her as they who confute marriage by the same uncleannesse whereby they defile virginity Virgins I confesse have their honour yea those Eunuches who have made themselves spiritually so for the kingdome of God are praise worthy And as that Demoniacke said Iesus we know and Paul we know but who are ye So we marriage and true virginity we admire but as for you what or whence are yee If you speake a good word for it it were meet as they at Athens were wont in the Senate to do to take it out of your unvirgin-like unseemly mouthes and put it into the mouth of honester persons Praise stinkes in the mouthes of such as doe reproach more by deeds then their mouthes can commend As the Poet once said of the cold Poetry of them who commended fasting with their bellies full so may I say of you who praise virginity your selves having bodies debauched with uncleannesse your breath is not sweet enough for this worke nor your words strong enough to make you beleeved None but Oratours can praise eloquence nor any save chaste virgins single life whether married or unmarried One once said of the great Turkes horse that no grasse grew after where he had once trod so neither did ever virginity thrive upon your praises As Locusts eat up all before them so doth your unbridled lust and the more by how much its vailed with the vow of that Chastity which becomes the greatest snare of uncleannesse to them that make it Thus much for the first branch But to leave these I would also apply this truth to a second sort of men for their dishonouring of marriage Such I meane as doe though not by Popish yet by their uncleane lives and practice defloure and disgrace this Ordinance The most reall and chiefe offenders in this kinde who by their manners doe not onely impute but infuse in a sort a blot and shame into marriage causing it to stinke by their sinne which God hath honoured and blessed And these are the successours of Hophni and Phinees whose open and shamelesse pollutions by whoredome and adultery doth corrupt it A course in these dayes so common that not onely among the viler sort its thought nothing for there be of the ignorant and baser sort of people who are free from it but even of them of the better fashion also where grace rules not of whom in the end of this Treatise I shall speake more But besides these how doe the lives of such as live in this estate of marriage cause men to vow the grosest uncleannesse rather then they would be so married As once an Heathen said If this be the practice of Christians to eat their God and to kill their King let my soule be with the Philosophers So say I the base cursed life of many professours who brawle scold fight and live at defiance with each other causes many ungodly ones to prefer a single life though besmeared with all sorts of lusts contemplative practicall natural unnatural with wives harlots or as they can rather then to marry that is to say Let my soule be with the adulterers I say to such married persons stumbling-blocks and eye-sores perhaps you may be guiltlesse of this sin your selves but verily many by your occasion are as deeply tempted to uncleannes as others are by the entisements of bawds and companions of harlots Well as odious as you are yet is Marriage honourable in her selfe you doe as much as in you lyeth and shall answer for it as well as if it were in your power to defile it but yet you cannot defile that which God hath enstamped with honour To see some married couples how they bring up their brats to all filthinesse of manners to see Ahabs and Iezabels both combining together in villany to see the wofull confusion of bad wives with good husbands or them with as bad wives drawing in a most unequall yoake Nabals and Abigails Moses and Zippora's would it not cause men to stop their noses at the stinch of marriage Should this be if men kept the honour of marriage unstained If they were jealous to suffer any eye to behold their unseemelinesse least marriage should be dishonoured To see the separation of such in the Countrey of all sorts as depart from their yoake-fellowes abandoning each other by Law or lawlesse divorces from bed board and affection I meane by wilfull separating themselves would it not cause men to irke marriage To behold varlets and monsters openly and in the face and defiance of Courts and Lawes without penance or due pursuit and punishment to doe as Zimri and Cozbi did though with contrary successe to bring their whores and the bastards they have begotten by them not onely into their houses and under their wives noses but to lay them in their beds to force them to afford them like nurcery and equall tearmes with their owne would it not make Heathens themselves to spue us out To see great men to relinquish and cast up their chaste and wel-deserving Ladies whom they at first loved and sought with the greatest ambition and to give themselves to vagrant and libidinous courses would it not fray men from marriage and say as they did If the case stand so it is not good to marry To conclude to see but the base Mart that is now made of marriages how men looke onely at the prize and the best game how they may take in or put off their children in and at the best vantage as cattle in a market for wealth and portion be they never so debaucht drunkards or light huswives would it not provoke men to vomit such marriages A worthy wife cannot be sufficiently prized a man cannot tell what to aske for such a pearle and a bad one deserves no price being the worst of wares the one is above this line the other is under it neither ought to be bought and sold I say these and other the like abuses as the perpetuall jealousies betweene some couples not the worst persons yet bad in marriage their sinister conceits melancholike distempers how doe they make this commodity of marriage yea and a better too even religion it selfe which too many such professe to be badly spoken of But in the meane time by these rents and disorders the innocent Ordinance heares ill as if by her default
such evils were committed Vse 3 I proceed to a second use of Admonition and that is to all such as shall upon triall finde out their errors or else can entire and unstained Sundry are the feares and griefes I know of the weaks though religious couples when they looke backe to their beginnings some to consider how rawly they entred into this condition at first and since having found God to be more gracious to reclaim them home or the husband and wife that before was a verse yet when they also thinke how unthankefully they have requited God for it waxing light wanton worldly and loose they cannot chuse but they must be in bitternesse for it Others although they have entred into this estate with much zeale resolution and consent of heart to honour God to their uttermost in it yet alas when they come to weigh seriously how many dayes moneths and yeeres are come over their heads in a most unprofitable sort gray haires being upon them without any impression of fruit and growth in good able to say little for themselves either for religion walking betweene themselves praying for and with each other joynt care in education of their children yea that they have humored each other in their base corruptions bolstred each other in worldlinesse which hath eaten up their stocke not suffered grace to revive but to decay serving their turnes each of other onely for common and vanishing ends of their owne spent Sabbaths carnally and little delighted in them for Gods cause fruitlesse in hearing and Family duties oh much cause of griefe must needs be to such Be therefore admonished sleight not the care of maintaining of Religion in your marriage with all solicitous carefulnesse shunning that which might weaken it the honour and comfort of it Crownes of honour are tickle things and looke whatsoever it be that hath much honour put upon it hath withall much care anxiety and burden annexed Beware then scum not off the fat and sweet of the honor and content of marriage but as for the burden and service of it to seeke God to worship him joyntly to shun all occasions of ease carnall occasions of jollity unchaste company you are loath to take the paines surely you shall finde at last that repentance will be the best fruit of such sleghtnesse it is strange how little this is beleeved at first till experience have taught it but men thinke marriage to be a buckler to fence off all blowes so long as they love one another as they thanke God that they doe heartily though with a rotten love that will hold them in as the corner-stone doth the sides of an house Others take marriage to be an estate of loose liberty to live as they list and therefore observe no caution nor feare any danger till at last they be waile their folly when they see how by their rash improvidence they have brought a snare of poverty upon themselves others an habit of pleasures and expence till both time thrift and heart be all lost and past recall Others there are who by their froward peevish carriage have provoked each others to wearinesse impatience and discontent others have drowned themselves in lust and led each others by base example to follow them and instead of complainers of each others to be as deep in and overshooes therein as the other thereby heaping diseases and needlesse sorrow upon their heads And whereas for lacke of mature regard and prevention they have pierced through themselves with the fruit of their sinne then they cry out too late wishing they had bin wiser to keepe this crowne entire from staine and dishonour Kings and Emperours have so sleighted the due care of their crownes that they have brought ruine and misery upon themselves by running into excesse of contempt as in the example of Rehoboam wee see But when as for their loose exorbitant wayes they have come to see those sad effects which followed they have wisht their crownes againe upon condition of improving their honour with ten times more temperance and wisedome How much more then have married persons cause to abhor their carelesnesse in this kinde and to binde sare if they looke to finde sure that is to prop up the honour of this ordinance if they will enjoy the quiet fruit of righteousnesse by their good behaviour If a Minister or Magistrate haviâ—g more honour put upon them in their places then others should carry themselves the more disdainfully and beare themselves so upon their places that they care for no man nor baulke any bad courses doe they looke their honour should beare them out should not God say to them Those who honour me I will honour but such as reproach me I will make vile If private persons excelling others in gifts shall not attend to humility and fear of themselves shall not their glory end in their shame their gifts in barrennesle and their profession in revolt Even so is it here such as care not regard not their demeanour in marriage both to God themselves and their families by shunning offences jealousies losse or alienation of affections but thinke it will alway be hony-moone and a merry world with them is it not just that their unseasonable ruines should teach them repentance too late Therefore let all married oncâ— be warned hereby to be sober heedfull advised moderate in their affections loves and liberties rather walking on this side the brinke then otherwise alway fearing a change and saying What if my follies breed in my wife by Gods secret vengeance a loathing of me a fire of contention in my bosome a continuall dropping upon my head my content at home my repute abroad God keepe me within such bounds of marriage ' as I first â—owed to keepe at my entrance Thus much for the Admonition Next I proceed to comfort all such godly couples as have laboured to enhanse and uphold the honour of this Ordinance Try your selves then no doubt you shall meet with uncomfortable thoughts for your manifold failings and no doubt you thinke few religious mariages so ill managed and so poorely carried as your owne the many breaches and flawes of your marriages do cause you to mourne and complaine saying If indeed I had so inured and acquainted my selfe and my wife to prayer and close worshipping of God if I had wisdome and understanding enough to be Gods voyce to my wife to guide her if I had abstained from the snares and occasions laid in my way by Satan to overthrow me and my peace had I preserved bòth body and soule in that chastity and honour that was meet nourishing love and amity abhorring all occasions to the contrary I might behold the face of God with comfort I but now my burden is encreased by my errours in marriage viz. that with a slight heedlesse and regardlesse heart I have carried my self in a businesse of such consequence upon which the well or ill fare of my life
where love is entire but want of religion is not easily recompenced with externals be wise not to stumble too much at the former neither let heat of affection snare and cousen thee in the latter So much for the meanes to be used for marrying in the Lord. And to this issue pertaines all this discourse therefore still I so conclude as I began And because no bad marriage befals any where the husbands sinne is not chiefe either because himselfe is bad or erreth in judging the wife the woman having onely a refusing voyce not a chusing but the man having the prerogative of choice as the leader of the businesse therefore let the man especially looke to himselfe It s not for the modesty of the womans sexe to play the suitour to put forth her selfe towards the man but to wait till God offer her an object of consideration and I seldome have noted matches very succesfull in this kinde I remember the answer of a wise man to a Gentlewoman which told him she could love him before any man he answered her but of al others I dare not venture upon you for my wife He considered that such pangs in that humorous sex cannot come from judgement because they thwart an ordinance and as a sudden torrent of passion or heat causeth them so they suddenly fall as fast and leave the channell dry when the humour is over then coole blood succeeds and checks the party for rashnesse workes a dislike of the choice and a very indifferent spirit to the husband thinking him to be too meane for them and so little joying in him waxing darke and farre from that sweet temper of amity and subjection which a wife should bewray Therefore ye husbands be not gulled with easie matches they are not so easie to forgoe as to get the furthest way about is the neerest way home There is a pleasingnesse in shew to be fancied by a woman to be offred that estate which I could never have expected but when all is said that can be it is too easie to prove happy what it may prove I cannot say but since it s not of God and is against the modesty of that sex I can see no great hope of it This by the way I end my counsell with a two-fold question One is this if say some we stay till these choice marriages be offred us we may wrong our hopes passing the time of our virginity and youth vainly away To whom I say I speake to none in this kinde save to the religious let the rest move in their owne spheare commit thy way to Iehovah and he will effect it where there is truth of grace it cannot lye hid some way or other the Lord shall provide and the labour of thy love shall not be concealed feare not the worlds feares cry not a confederacy where they cry it but wait and there will alway be some men who will be as jealous as women to plunge themselves into a crosse marriage as glad of thee as thou of him it s a reciprocall case and hee who beleeves makes no more haste then good speed Thy worth shall breake out as the light and thy patience and modesty as the noone day Another is whether should we goe to finde out such for we see the families of such as had name of religion are now degenerate and empty of such choice None doe more degenerate to pride vanity and prophanenesse then the children of many Ministers and professours which have bin religious yea many townes anciently of note for such yet are now become as barren as any other To whom I answer when the people came and told Samuel that his children walked not in his wayes it was not so much from any offence at their sinne as for their owne ends to make them a King many upbraid good families because they are willing to balke them and to looke otherwhere Sure I am that families are not so wanting of good matches as the good matches who are in them are disregarded But further be it true Gods rules are sleighted in all places now a dayes and religion was never thicker sowne nor come up thinner then now what wonder if sinne carry this duty downe the streame of contempt as well as others yet I say is religion gone quite out of all families Though it be entailed to no one yet cannot free grace plant it selfe where it listeth if it leave one can it not chuse another religion for ought I see may lye long enough except excesse of portion smell her out Oh! follow not the streame conforme not to the fashion of this world God is tyed to no places families congregations he is no accepter of persons but in all places where his name is feared and called upon there will he blesse Such shall not need to distrust God hee makes none a soone of Abraham but he makes a daughter of Abraham also meet for him use meanes to finde them out and having so done preferre pearles before pibbles and the Lord shall bring the good to the good for he is a God of order not of confusion Quest 3 But will some say perhaps we have found out a jewell but it s in a dunghill a good husband or wife but the parents bad the kindred bad and no encouragement to proceed I answer as a bad wife is never the better because graced with a good so neither ought a choice either wife or husband be too much sullied by a bad family it s their ill lot to be so but that grace that made Lot eminently good Noah excellently righteous in their sinfull times doth even more abundantly requite that blemish with the select religion of some one among them I blame no man if with a good wife he would be glad to marry to a good family and stocke but in another respect I would account that grace which is unstained with so much ill being in the midst of it more approved and tried with the touchstone then that which growes up together with the grace of a family for company It s some grace to a Lilly to grow among thorns and a Rose looks the more beautifull among thistles contraries set one against another are the more orient I should not refuse a truly vertuous companion for the cause And this be said of the second maine rule for such as are upon entrance of marriage I goe to the third The third dutie concernes the two parties after their Contract viz. to spend that space betweene it and marriage as a more due and solemn season for a preparation of themselves to the estate and conversation of marriage to come But because I foresee that the Reader will expect that somewhat be said in this Treatise touching a Contract I will therefore suspend this third advice till I come to that argument in the fift chapter at the end thereof Thus much for this Chapter
or pleasurable meane but by meere sympathy which is farre the more pure and noble cement of union then what else so ever Nay in the very sencelesse creatures is to be seene this amity and neerenesse that as some have an antipathy each to other as the shadow of the walnut is noxious to other plants so the elme and the vine doe naturally so entwine and embrace each the other that it s called the friendly elme who can tell why much more then in reasonable creatures it must be so And hence those heathens that could goe no further make the very constellations of heaven under which two are borne to be the cause and influence of their accord I know not what starre saith one hath temperd my nature so fitly to thine that we should be so united And another scoffing at one he distasted tells him I love thee not certainly and yet I cannot tell why for thou never hurtest me but this I am sure of that I love thee not What wonder then if God for the preserving of that band which is neerest of all durablest of all and the most fundamentall of all hath much more caused a secret sympathie of hearts to live in the brests and bosomes of some men and some women that are to live in the married estate whereof no reason can bee given save the finger of God whereby I say their hearts and affections doe consent together of two to become one flesh the most inward union of all Whence is it that all others set aside sometimes more amiable in themselves more rich better bred and the like yet through this instinct of sympathie an hidden and unknowne cause two consent together to become husband and wife Surely by this it appeares that by how much lesse reason can be given of this temperament so much the more God is in it as purposing by a more pretious and uniting band then ordinary to knit them together whom he purposeth to maintaine in such a league as must endure and cannot be dissolved when once it is made So that we see marriage love is oftime a secret worke of God pitching the heart of one party upon another for no knowne cause and therefore where this strong lodestone attracts each to other no further question need to be made but such a man such a womans match were made in heaven and God hath brought them together But because the finger of God is not so manifest in all matches as by a secret inspiration to unite them and because man being a reasonable creature is led in affections not to live by sensuall appetite as a beast but by rationall motives and inducements therefore providence discovers it selfe herein also even framing the matter so that oftimes where this naturall inclination failes and where in likely hood some antipathie and contrariety of spirits would appeare yet by some accidentall endowments of religion of education of eminent naturall parts of sweet disposition even that party pleases best who yet were as likely to displease as much as any in the generall I say this is a providence more generall then the former so ordering things that where meere sympathy failes yet another band may proove to some persons as pleasing and lasting when as they see that one defect is recompenced with another eminencie and perfection Who but God hath so accorded it that many a woman of exquisite beauty and person like to attract love enough in a mutuall way of man should yet come short of inward wiâ— wisedome and abilities Surely he who doth all so well that nothing can bee found out after him better then he hath made it hath thus appointed it lest if all perfections should concurre in one impotent subject the heart would be too big for the bosome and swell into an excesse of pride and selfelove And on the other side who hath so ordred it that oftentimes where beauty failes where â—ther person is ordinary there yet these uncomely partes should be cloathed with greater honour of vertue understanding industry providence and other qualities of worth and all for this universall end that there might be an equality So that whereas the person in some regards might be an object of disdaine yet in others might be to a rationall and wise man a meet object of esteeme her gifts drowning her defects and so sustaining the poore creature from contempt and scorne Thus doth God by his wisedome so order contraires that being brought by his own skillfull hand to a due temperature they might cause a most pleasing harmony so that oftimes a nimble wit joyned with a more slow a phlegmatique temper with a sanguine a melancholique with a merry a cholerique with a mild and patient temper might behold the workmanship of God herein with such admiration that the frame of spirit which in the generall might seeme most repugnant yet in respect of the necessarie usefulnesse and commodity thereof might find most favour And why surely because similitude of distempers might breed a confusion in the married estate wheras the one quality alaying the other might reduce the body to a sweet harmony and correspondence So that still we see God hath an hand in this union of hearts in the married and although some unite through a secret sympathy others from some confessed good and amiable object in the party loved yet God is in them both that by a strong marrimoniall knot the married couples might eike out that love and affection towards each other which else neither the need of each other no nor religion it selfe could alone maintaine and preserve And so much for this second branch By all I have said it may be perceaved that by conjugall love here I meane not onely Christian love a grace of Gods spirit for marriage borders much what upon nature and flesh nor yet a carnall and sudden flash of affection corruptly enflamed by Concupiscence rather brutish theâ— humane but a sweete compounde of both religion and nature the latter being as the materiall the former as the formall cause therof properly called Marriage love And this love is not an humor raysed suddenly in a pang or thoade of affection ebbing and flowing sometymes when the parties are set upon the stage abroad among company and strangers where they woulde acte a parte for their Credit for family and place where they live ought to be their true stage of Action but an habited and settled love planted in them by God wherby in a constant equall and cheerfull consent of spirit they carry themselves each to other each hollow companion wil exceed at an od time and put downe true lovers who if they were tryed by their uniforme love would be tired as jades betray themselves to be counterfeits whatsoever is according to God is equall though but weake So is this of the love of couples no union of imagination mixture nor yet bare affection but an effect of divineinstitutioÌ„ betweene two for polygamy is
which can turne your swordes into mattocks and speares into plowshares who can make the oxe and the lyon the beare and the lambe to feed together that is take out your felnesse and put into you an heart of Amity and consent Then shall you bee another while for the honor of that Ordinance with equall endeavors which all this while you have so reproched Vse 3 And thirdly let it bee admonition unto both parties and first let mee say this Enter not into marriage in a confidence of your owne strength when couples first meete together youth strength and carnall Confidence upon their owne meanes with fleshly content each in other makes them dreamâ— of a dry summer and thinke I shall not be mooved It wilâ—e alway hony moone with me as if the bitternes of an unquiet heart were passed away But poore soules you know no more your owne spirits then Hazaël did when hearing the Prophet telling what a cruell wretch he should proove he asked Am I a dog to do such things You dawb with untempered morter which will fall off in frosty wether But when experience hath schooled you and shewed you the discontents of marriage and with what bitter ingredients sin hath poysoned your hoped successes wheÌ„ husband prooves an unthrift wife an ill housewife businesse in the world crosse and left-handed when also cares feares losses charge of children sorrowes of the wombe and nursery bad children debts and straits come upon you at once none wherof you have grace to prevent oh then you see that your first merry meeting will not beare off all assaults And yet what should I speake of such things when a base heart in the middest of all contrary mercies pamperd with the creature but wickedly proud and unthankful can and oftner doth cause this woe to couples more then all adversity Oh this canker growes out of blessing oftner then affliction wherfore enter this estate with selfdeniall humble your selves bee as Ephraim who was as an heifer unused to the yoke but after he repented and smote upon his thigh Do you so beforehand and beg armor of God for the hardest bost not of the best ere you put off your harnesse the best will alway save it selfe Secondly know this That although the Lord should free you from such disasters yet marriage of it selfe without speciall grace will try of what mettall you are made Even meer continuance of time Custome and usuall society will by corruption procure a fulsomenesse satiety yea a wearinesse of each other Acknowledge therfore that this frame of your marriage will not stand alone it needes daily props to keep off an impatieÌ„t spirit For why The meer spirit that is in you lusts to envie enclines to crossenes elvishnesse and self willednesse of spirit when as yet there is no vexation without to cause it What need is there then to ply the Lord with prayer for the sweet uniting of your spirits and calming of your hearts That the peace of God passing understanding may fence or as the word is beleaguer and hemme in your soules or as a garison keepes a towne safe may preserve them with the knowledge of God and possesse them in patience Alas let all your whetting and provoking each other be reflected backe upon your owne selves fret with indignation against the Roote within purge out that leaven and then your hard hearts shall melt into teares for each other spend your time of jarring in prayer and earnest request to God for mercy and pardon That he would take off your rough edge and make you polished and squared stones to couch in the wall of this building which before could lye no way Oh! the Lord for ought you know may make you blessed meanes of each others conversion that you may blesse him that ever you met who so oft have cursed your owne eyes for seeing each other Let the fruite bee as God will sure I am the crosse of an uncomfortable yoake should perswade you rather to spend all your life in prayer then in Rebellion For its better if it must be so that God delay your desires whiles you are praying then whiles you are sinning and stopping the course of prayer Thirdly put on the Lord Iesus and he shall so furnish you that you shall not need to take any more thought how to fulfill your base lustes any more Put him on in his long suffering meeknesse bowels of compassion as the Apostle speaks which will not only prevent those evills of an unquiet and unsavory spirit through a well a payde heart but also will teach you to beare and lie under your Crosse and to bee as God will have you to bee Fight not against God but put on the Armour of peace as a Brestplate to beare off all the darts of distempers If the Lord will not be entreated one way ply him another Remember an heart armed with holy Resolution in this kynd is shot free and able to conquer a city The patient in spirit is better then the hasty and the end of a thing is better then the beginning Patience carryes with it halfe a release it is as it were boot in beame If then thy wife and thine husband cannot be wonne to consent yet if thou canst possesse thine owne spirit thou shalt conquer hers The best victories are by yeelding in this kind Strange is the nature of a quiet spirit it must prevaile at last because it will wayt till it have no nay But especially it hath this power in it to quench any fiery dart far better then any resistance and wrath If Cannon shot light upon the Wool-packe it loseth his force but if upon a stone wall it batters it to peeces and a soft answer puttes away wrath Bring Iesus into this ship he will allay all the waves bring this Arke into the campe of debate and it will make all whist and quiet when the Whirlewind ariseth suddenly from the heart of an unquiet man or woman and like to that tempest Iob 1. assaults every corner of the house to ruine it yet if this spirit of a soft voyce encounter it all wil be soft and calme on the sudden The cause why the house of Jobs children fell downe was because it was such a wynde as beset on every syde So it will fare with thee If when one wynd is arisen in the house theÌ„ by by another be up in the other corner to resist it woe to that house Then is the season of thy Calme O husband when thy wives heart is up in heat and then of thy quiet hert ô wife when thy husband fumes storms But if both be up at once be thou ô man the wiser and say It s now out of season for mee to meddle Else thou wilt throw downe thine house and destroy thine own peace The second blow makes the fray therefore while the cloude is as a mans hand
himselfe and exposing himselfe to hazard and in both how he preserves innocency and uprightnesse Besides these she may behold in him neither on the one side cowardize in a good cause nor in the other folly in the bad handling of it how close and secret he is to them that are faithfull friendes to God and himselfe how he is neither basely niggardly nor yet vainly lavish that he is neither lightly credulous nor yet sinfully distrustfull in his liberties neither taking the uttermost nor yet scrupling the moderate and lawfull Thus I say when shee sees the image of God shining in his understanding and behaviour she shall be farre from despising him at least justly for grace is honorable and makes the face to shine even before such as have little good in them much more such as can observe it Nay more shee shall honor him as her head see cause of entirely loving him devoting her selfe first to God in thanks for such a blessing and then to him in all loyall affection No woman save a Micol can find any disdaine in her heart of such an husband And which is the crowne of all shee shall represent and act her husbands vertues upon the stage of her owne practice and conversation So much for this second Vse 1 If this be thus how much to blame are many husbands of all sorts we Ministers you people who in matters of God suffer their wives to live at randon Because they see it requires some labor to menage the soules of their wyves by that neere Communion I have spoken of therfore they plucke off hand quite from boorde leave them wholly to themselves to sincke or swim The very grounde of the sluggard doth not so speake against his sloth by the briars thistles wherewith it s overgrowne as the soules of these mens wyves by their profanenes and their lives by their immodest rude behaviour So themselves can hold bodily welfare farewell sleep and play and lye downe in an whole skin what care they what becomes of them How many inclinations are there in some tender plants at first marriage which through the neglect of husbands vanish How many sweet parts and graces which lie and ruste for the want of good improovement how many blemishes and wants which wise and seasonable counsell might redresse are suffred to grow remedilesse how many husbands might say of their wives as once a shrew sayde of her husband shee could have lived sweetly with him if shee would meaning it was not passion but a spiteful heart which hindred it so it s not ignorance but a â—ase lasie heart which doth this had they bin worth their eares God seconding theÌ„ they might have improoved them sweetly And how gladly would such wives have blessed God for their counsell if they might have bin beholding to them for it what honor had they got for their instrumentall help to convert support save theÌ„ If thou do not this work how canst thou say thou lovest her or thy heart is with her Surely thou shalt pay the sad shot of her sin If no place in thy house bed board closet walke can witnesse for thee if any common worke steale away thine heart or leasure from helping her If she run into riot because thou staydst her not how just is it that thy life goe for hers wherewith God betrusted thee Vse 2 Secondly how great cause is there that some bad husbands should tremble to consider that they have bin so far froÌ„ guiding their wyves with understanding that alas they lack all wisedome to guide themselves So that if their wives should be so unhappy as to tread in their steps they must of necessity fall with theÌ„ into the ditch of all error profanneesse Alas how full is the world of women not the worst for disposition hope of good who yet through ill planting because they see that else they must live a dismall life not only stumble at the threshold and go not one step forward but ten degrees backward being fain to comply with their husbands and waxe tenfold more the children of the devill then before what is more easy then for a weake Chamaeleon a faint and weake creature to resemble the colour of each cloth its laide in when they see no feare of God nor reverence of man care of Sabbaths conscience in dealings savor in examples to fall to the like especially fynding a sweetnes and welpleasing to the flesh and nothing to gainsay it How basely dare they speake of sincerity of the ministery how vaine frothie and fashionable grow they their husbands reading them the lecture and as Abimelec saying what you see mee doe do ye likewise How full is each corner of Lamecs desperate varlets who act villany wrath rage envy worldlines pride and scorne before their wives to cast them into the like moulde of wickednesse Vse 3 But if it fall out that there bee any more wisedome in women matcht which such Nabals to observe and judge aright how can they chuse but underprise them for want of understanding Is it wonder that a woman except very humble should extremely vilify such an head Doth the Apostle justly reproove men for wearing shag hayre like women and for shaming their head or being ashamed of the glory of God which they resemble by the uncovering of it and shall not these dishonorers of their headship much more be condemned as in this matter of walking like men of understanding before their wives yes surely it s no wonder that their complaints against such husbandes are so frequent that they can nourish so little honor in their hearts toward them who powre out so much contempt upon their owne heades I do not patronize such women as do so but yet their disdeyne is in some sort veinall against them who do so violate the Ordinance â— what a clog is it to be matcht to a man who in stead of stayednesse and due wisedome is not so much as sensible when he is told of his follies So openly ridiculous that as oile in the hand it bewrays it selfe to all men So shallow-braynd fickly easily led aside by any bad counsellor to any loose uncleane wastfull courses who makes as many promises as he hath fingers on both handes and that daily but breakes them before he go to bed what wise woman can endure it to see him who should understand himself to bee so seely credulous in judicious that each base cheating companion can cosen him of his wealth rob him of his money make him drunke and picke his pocket Such a foole as will lend every man he meets with that wold borrow not shillings but poundes without any band save a bare word as good never a whit as never the better to such as are not worth that they borrow what indignation would it moove in a woman to be compelled to follow her wise husband to the Alehouse to gaster
of the wife viz. helpfulnesse so much CHAP. XV. Concludeth with the third and last Severall Duty of the wife to wit her Gracefulnesse I Conclude now the discourse about the severall duties of the woman to the man whereof this is the last to wit her gracefulnesse The former alone without this will make a good drudge but this added therto will make a good wife They say he who hath gotten both profit and pleasure together for they are not alway joined hath hit the naile on the head But in a wife I am sure it is so if she be usefull by her huswifery and cheerfull by her gracefull amiablenesse she is right and straight indeed and well accomplished Some yet none of the worst housewives are none of the most gracefull creatures their droile alway hangs about them as an ague in the bones and others amiable and cheerfull enough are yet none of the most huswifely and helpfull as the apples of Sodom if they be but toucht with a finger to be usefull they moulder to ashes The former are good droiles to dispatch businesse the other pretty Idols to looke on But the compound of these two hath no fellow to reconcile into one an helpfull gracefulnesse and a gracefull helpfulnesse Of all other duties I need least insist in prooving that this woman makes her marriage honourable and therefore that she is bound to improve her selfe in this kind to the uttermost for the attaining of it This vertue of it selfe speakes as Abel being dead without words This third gift is nothing else save that complexion and luster which ariseth and reboundeth from the mixture of the graces of a woman duly compounded As from the well mixt Elements ariseth bodily temperament and from the blood well mixed in the face ariseth beauty so from a well tempered spirit in a woman ariseth this gracefulnesse As once that Philosopher said if vertue could be seene with the eie it would ravish a man with admirable loves of her so the graces of a woman breaking through her and appearing in the conversation are able to ravish any spirit that is not a stoicke a Nabal A little then first of the Materialls then of the true forme and temper it selfe of this gracefulnesse For the former Grace must needs be the matter of it But what grace Surely graces fly together as birds of a feather and linke as the peeces of a chaine yet there bee pearles which shine more then their fellowes and some graces doe more befriend and beautifie a good wife then other The first may be humility and a meeke spirit for what is more unwomanly unpleasing then a mannish heart of stoutnesse and stomacke and what so decketh a woman as that wherby she is of great esteeme with God himselfe So is shee that walkes in a due and daily sence of her infirmities a modest concealement of her graces Not Sauls talnesse but hiding himselfe a way from honour did most grace him Not a scholers art open'd all at once but the concealment of it most graceth him So not a womans parts but that so fraile a creature should bee above all that 's in her is as the varnish which makes all the picture so amiable Why doe wee thinke Greeke and Ebrew ill bestow'd upon a woman save that its above her ordinary sex to know it and to know her selfe too yet if I should behold a woman of excellent parts of learning and yet to bee as one that knew not her owne knowledge but drown'd all in the spirituall sence of her corruption I should thinke I saw a rare object Shee is little in her owne eies yet that littlenesse makes her greater in Gods eye preciouser in mans then that great gift with which she is furnished A second grace is selfdeniall A meere scholar is growne into a character of disdaine and so is every other thing that is meer a meer woman is an homely sight because ordinary But a woman above a woman her wits and abilities and especially a woman above her wrath envie selflove and passions a woman above her gaine pleasures earthly contents having all and yet above all pestred with all and yet overcomming all is an object of admiration The spirit of God to affect our spirits presents strange objects in his word women Captaines warriours CoÌ„querors what a pretty thing it is to se Iael to master a great Generall of the field with her Hammer Naile Debora to sit and judge Israel what a miracle was our mayden Queen Elizabeth to the world Why but because wee thinke we see and can scarce beleeve our eies in seeing those vertues which were admirable in the Man to reside in a weake sexe as it were out of place So the Lord presents to us in his word his master-peeces an Abigail without sword or bow conquering a Conqueror and leading him captive with her self-denial and wisedome And in experience we see here and there one as a berry or an olive left behind who can master a fierce husbands anger by her long suffring and selfdeinall one that can rule her passions which rule al sorts Why save that we might admire our God as much in the Ants sagacity as the Elephants strength If he who can overcome himselfe then much more shee who can do so is greater then he who hath overcome a city Oh not alway in great things is goodnes but alway in good is greatnes especially when that good is also little A third grace of a woman is faith both for the tâ—uâ—h of it and for the life of it For the former what more worth then pretious faith Paul saith its not of all women or men it s a flower growing in the gardens a pretious jewell worea in the bosomes of very few of this sexe What can calme the soule save pardon and grace from the promise of a Father the blood of a Mediator What can make a woman peaceable and of a quiet frame save because all is well betweene God and her selfe And what is that grace which settles the soule in this grace save faith the fruite of the lips and mother of peace They say there was once a famous Ladie in the English court that calmed the differences of all the courtiers and therfore they called her Ione-Makepeace This ladie faith is that lady Ione a meet ornament not for court onelye but country also Ione-Makebates each house is full of but of Makepeaces very few Oh this graces absence makes all amort womens unquietnesse of nature wrath scoldings and distempers come not so much from outward causes or inward humors as for lacke of this lady faith Their hearts are wicked casting up mire and dirt in the family like the raging sea casting up her owne foame and all because the peace of God which passeth understanding and settling the soule by faith is wanting Some what they once had in creation have lost it by
Christ be not the cover from the storme and raine sinne must needes be and although it be but a sorry one which will one day wet to the skin yet it must serve the whilst Subdue therefore thy soule with these terrors as Christ saith let them sinke deeply into thine heart It is thy selfe it serves to keepe thee from the pathes of death As our Saviour then when he bids watch tell us he saith it to the Disciples and to all so I wish that this watchword might reach to all none excepted even forward professors themselves I much feare this sin is rise among many even of such for profession cannot alone quit us of secret profanenes So neer is the flesh so sly is Satan so copious is a false heart of evasions that no sort of people is free There want not fearful examples at this day of each degree of men and women I need not silence that which all tongues jangle the ears of the good might tingle withal what debauched varlets there are of late brought forth from among theÌ„ who have crept in amongst the zealous servants of Christ and taken upon them to be the forwardest To conceale is now too late too late to say tell it not Gath for its all over the places about their dwelling One being reprooved for attempting the maides who came to his house to folly answered though I may not covet my neighbors maid yet for his owne maides or those that offred themselves he thought he might It s time now my brethren of of all sorts to cease striving to hold â—â—le in your palme it s rather time to apply corrasives The best way now is in taking notice of these to say they were among us they were not of us if they had they would not so fouly have gone out of us And yet were it not that I feare doing hurt I would adde that I must not nor dare finally to censure every owne as lost who is guilty of this sin but I know ten to one of these are hypocrites though for causes God may leave some odde person whose repentance he purposes to make as eminent as ever his sinne was and moreover to use this sinne in others as a forcible occasion to convert them from all sinne But of this after Of the hypocrites I say let him that is filthy be filthy still of the other the Lord give them grace with Achan in the midst of their reproach to give glory to God wofull creatures the whiles weltering in their misery from whom the unclean spirit seemed to bee cast out and they to have escaped the pollution of the world through lust but through their loosenesse the divell hath returned into their hearts and brought seven spirits with him worse then the former so that if that stronger man throw not out this strong the end of such will proove worse then the beginning Consider all such profession cannot dispence with you rather it shall make your sinne treble and heate hell seven times hotter If wee never found any other effect of the sinnes of our ignorance save shame and death what are wee like to finde for sinnes against knowledge Truly men are strangely impudent and hardned in these daies this makes me insist as I doe Feare not him who can destroy the body onely and not the soule but him who can cast both bodies and soules into hell I say feare him Get we our spirits truely moulded into this terrour of God! Those Corinthians pretended the liberty of the Gospell against the terror of the Law But how doth Paul answer them Surely by a fit instance of the Isralites in the wildernesse committing filthinesse at Peor Are you better then they had not they the word the ordinances the cloud the manna and rocke but God was never the better pleased with them for that I Their carcasses all fell and were made dung in the wildernesse Therefore deceive not your selves Be not you fornicators as they â— and were destroyed of the destroyer Their Angell of presence turn'd their destroyer for their uncleannesse If this bee all the priviledge of your bare profession let whose will venture but venture not yee well may some say wee would faine bee of Gods minde but our hearts are so giddy and slight in this point that wee cannot get them to bee seriously awed by Gods judgements I answer I shall referre it to the Exhortation following in the next Chapter in the meane time consider what hath beene said in this CHAP. XVII And last Conteyning the use of Exhortation with Counsells and Motives to preserve Chastity and avoid uncleannesse Vse 4 I Finish the whole use of the point with Exhortation to this effect that all who truely tremble at this judgement of God against Adulterers and fornicators doe preserve their vessells with as much holinesse and honour as is possible To all such as in the end of this point I shall touch belongs consolation but let it lie by a while untill thou be able to apply it to thy selfe by the experience of what I shall now say Wherefore I exhort all such be chaste and pure in body and spirit passing the whole time of their conversation here in holy prevention and caution against uncleannesse A sollemne duty to bring a cleane body to the marriage bedde to maintaine it so and bring it so to the grave But how will some say may this be effected I answer by observing three counsells and first to Abhorre somewhat Secondly to meditate upon somewhat Thirdly by practising Touching the first Abhorre somwhat within and somewhat without In the prosecution of which three if I shall haply trench upon any thing before touched through the neernesse of the argument let the reader consider that when I wrote that before upon the point of chastity I intended not the handling of this latter part of the verse but I hope I shall avoid any purposed repeatings of ought which the necessity of the order doth not inforce upon me for the avoiding of any interruption For the first of Abhorring First with David Abhorre thy selfe that inward originall corruption of nature the foment of this flame he beginnes at the right end of the staffe with that poison wherewith his mother had warmed him in her wombe Abhorring of some outward acts or penalties of this sinne may goe without any loathing of the fountaine Had it not beene saith David for my naturall staine I had never committed such an actuall abomination as this Alas as the feelde of a poore man vanishes in the Mappe of a whole towne so doth this evill of concupiscence vanish in most mens eie when they take a survey of sinne whereas this inward is the body and that which we se breaking out is but a member as it might be here a toe there a finger of defiled old Adam Till then the mother bee abhorred the daughter will never be renounced Put case thou couldest