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ID Title Author Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication) STC Words Pages
A36906 The parable of the top-knots Dunton, John, 1659-1733. 1691 (1691) Wing D2631; ESTC R22266 4,491 4

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and Charms that dazled all Eyes Nothing so salvage or untain'd that did not pay an Homage to her conquering Beauty She needed no other Ornament than the lustre which flow'd from her untainted Vertue How comes it to pass thot she has lost her Diadem and seeks in vain to regain the shatter'd remnants of her former Glory by borrowing from every Triffle some counterfeit perfection to set her off You are but the Milleners Machin joyned together by Chambermaids efficious hands A meer Chaos of needless Manufactures jumbled into the perfect Figure of a Woman The Lady that had first occasion'd Madam Natures surprize and all this Discourse had not patience to hear any more but looking on her Watch that was attach'd to her Crochet made her a Revoir to the Company excusing her abrupt departure by telling them 't was time to go to the Play house Upon which the young Fry of Top-knots buttoning up their Mouthes in a most charmant manner begg'd of her Ladyship to vindicate the common Cause against this Clownish old Beldame that had made such a Coil about their Habiliments for they had got that modish word by the end too The Lady fond of the Character of a good natur'd Woman took up the Cudgels and turning to Dame Nature spoke to her after this manner Prithee don't trouble thy head old Gentlewoman said she about the present Mode the World is grown more refin'd and polite since your Youthful days Women are not mew'd up in the Nursery as in Queen Elizabeths time but have Liberty of Conversation we are more Eveille as I may say than formerly wean'd from the Winter-tales of the Chimney Corners and learning the Modes abroad and Customs of more civiliz'd Matrons We had been absolutely barbarous had ir not been for the Conquest of the Romans And we should be little amended now were it not for the Neighbourhood of the more accomplish'd French I am in love with that genteel Nation ma Foy. Ma Foy said Heraclitus laughing you are much in the right on 't I ever said the fondness of our English Women would make us Slaves to France nothing but French will go down with us We Eat Drink and Sleep in plain English but we manage the rest of our Actions in French We Love and Hate A-la-mode de Paris We serve our King and Country A-la-mode de Paris We walk talk dance and Sing A la-mode de Paris In fine we do all things en Cavalier or A-la-mode de Paris which you will being resolv'd to bring in the French King by Head and Shoulders rather than stand idle And as for Names Fashions and other Whim-whams brought over from France they are but as so many Introductions of the forlorn hope of a French Army the Grooms of the wooden Horse that conceals the secret Enemies and Betrayers of our Ancient Liberties and Properties When Heraclitus had done a Body would have thought it was my turn to hold forth next who had said nothing in this Company all the while but I was ever kind to the Ladies and seeing her run down by the Multitude and Noise of her Antagonists I had not the Heart to side with the strongest Party tho I judged all to be truth they said but seeing the Lady ready to depart I very fairly offered her my hand Had she accepted my Kindness I believe it had been better for her Head-gear for just as she cast a scornful Eye on me telling me withal That she lov'd no Neuters all her Capital Gim-cracks were caught off at once from her Head by an unmannerly Bough of a Tree that hung over her as she was deserting which cross-grain'd Accident exposed her Ladyships Bald-pate to the open View of her Enemy my old Grandame so that I had much adoe with all the dexterity and haste I could make to rescue her pendant Helmet time enough to attack it to her Skull before some Bullies came up to us o whom you shall hear in the next Advertisements THE Parable of the Puppies Or The Top-knots Vindicated will be published next Wednesday Printed for T. Burdet Religio Bibliopolae in imitation of Dr. Brown's Religio Medici also will be publish'd next Week written by the Author of this Paper The History of the Royal Congress at the Hague with the Names Characters and Equipage of the Sovereign Princes that compose this most August Assembly together with an Account of the Glorious Canopy and Chair of State The several curious and admirable Fire-works the many triumphal Arches with the other vast Preparations made for his Majesty of Great Britain with an exact Draught of the manner of King William's entring into the Hague and reception by the States-General Translated from the Dutch Copy Printed at Leyden An Account of the late horrid Conspiracy to depose their present Majesties King William and Queen Mary to bring in the French and the late King James and ruin the City of London Also some brief Reflections on the Tryals of the Lord Preston and Mr. Ashton By a Gentleman who was present at those Tryals Remarks upon the Life Tryal and Acquitment of Arthur Earl of Torrington A Penitentiary Sermon preach'd upon two young persons doing Pennance in a publick Congregation to which is added an accurate Treatise of Fornication written upon an extraordinary occasion by W. Barlow M. A. The Wonders of Free-Grace or a Compleat History of all the Remarkable Penitents that have been Executed at Tyburn for these last 30 years with a Sermon preached in the hearing of a Condemned Malefactor The Third Volume of the Pocket Library compleating the two former containing a further account of the Author 's Juvenile Rambles with his first Project of Girdling the World The Triennial Mayor Or The New Rapperees A Satyr Price 6 d. The Anti-Weesils a Poem price 6 d. The Vanity and Impiety of Iudicial Astrology by Francis Crowe M. A.