wreathed iaueline and ringing the bell with all mirth and iolitie To conclude growing drunke she spreadeth herselfe vpon the floore of the earth euen as now you finde her and for this cause she hath a deuise made with a motto answerable to her ebriety which is a Magge pie with a soppe in her mouth and these words vnder-written Hinc silens hinc loquax The other whom you see in the Cell vnderneath who with her rocke and spindell taketh a lanterne in her hande to see to worke by at high noone day and when the sunne with his beames shineth ouer the whole Hemispheare is a mad forgetfull foole which can carrie nothing in minde that shee hath to doe who is called Orbilia Beneuentana wherefore the deuise and motto fitteth exceeding well with her folly the denise being a mole which naturally is blinde with this motto Haec oculis haec mente But that other miserable and infortunate poore soule who as soone as she sawe you looke towards her Cell hidde herselfe behinde that close stoole couering her bodie with the bolster and rugge of her bedde is a certaine prettie tiptoe called by all men Lucietta of Sutri who in al her actions is so fantastical and skittish that when she goeth sometimes to blow the fire but feeling the winde of the bellowes she starts backe three fadome for feare of that blast and this tremulent humour can no waies bee remooued out of her head though diuers sundrie phisitions haue tried a thousand experiments for her cure wherefore with good consideration that deuise is set vpon her dore which is a conie scraping vp the earth with a motto that saith Huic fuga salus bicause like a conie she thinkes not her selfe secure except she hide her-selfe in the same manner as you see Oh but for gods sake vouch safe to talke with her apparelled all in graie that hath so great goll or thropple hanging downe as she may cast it back vpon her shoulders if you will heare a right puppie in deed for this is that Menega of Voltolina daughter to Roganzzo Panada and Mathia his wife who on a time was made beleeue that a cowe making loue to a frogge and he mooued with compassion towards her not knowing any other course hee coulde take to content her he was willing one day while the cow was drinking at a riuer to be swallowed downe by her thus swimming within her belly hee entred into that concauitie where the cowe conceiueth and pissing there within it hee made her after three yeeres space to bring foorth a creature which had legs like to a frogge and all the rest was like to a pied or spotted cowe such as those of Hungarie be wherefore the master of the Hospitall seeing her so rounde and plumpe in substance hath placed vpon her Cell that deuise which you see it beeing a Buffle with a ring at his nose and this motto Quocunquerapior bicause no deuise can be more conformable and correspondent to her humour then this In that other Cell which you see there is a certaine sillie soule of an addle and weake braine as any creature you euer sawe in the worlde and she is called Orsolina Capoana who is of this qualitie that if you bidde her sweepe the house she will fall a paring of her nailes and yet it will be euening before she haue made an ende of this worke and sometimes when she hath beene enioined to heate the lie for the bucke shee put her mouth to the spiggot of the tubbe blowing there for the space of three howers like a verie dottrell and by such like fopperies poore wretch she is so transported away in her senses that if you shoulde but bidde her voide an vrinall be sure that like a little childe blowing of feathers vp into the aire with a thousande other toies she will tarrie two houres at the least and at the last either bring you the emptie case or the vrinal al battered and broken being so simple a drizzell as she is Therefore maruaile not if the keeper of the Hospitall haue set that deuise vpon her dore which is a flie houering about a light and a motto which in Spanish signifieth Ne mas ne menos for as there is not a more sillie creature then this kinde of flie which houereth so long about the candle that at last she burneth her owne wings so is there not any so sottish a roile which may be compared to her It seemeth this other foule flappe-mouth is verie like vnto her who hath forgotten her spindle while her rocke is betweene her legges and nowe much amazed therefore and staring with her eies she lookes vpon you as if she had neuer seene man in her life before this woman is called Thadia di pozzuolo And amongst many other of her sotteries this one is very notorious that when the Guardian of the Hospitall one day commanded her to take a little water out of the cesterne and set it vpon the table in steede of vsing the bucket she tooke a porredge pipkin wherein there were colewoorts a seething set the broth vpon the table so qualified with colde water as all men that were present conceiued of her minnerie togither with no indifferent woonder delight and pastime thereat and for this cause she is set foorth with that imprese you there see which is a goose climbing on the toppe of an hedge with her motto Frustranitor this imprese with the motto thereof signifiyng that as the goose is a grosser creature then any other neither can she so much as flie ouer an hedge so she performeth foolishlie all actions whatsoeuer she goeth about bicause she doth not any one thing as she shoulde doe That foule beetle-headed Margherita Bolognese remaining there in that Cell belowe seemeth to be a birde of the same nest of whose stupiditie though there were no other signe or manifestation in the wolde yet woulde this one tricke of hirs be more then sufficient to prooue her so who being sent by a certaine dame to the shops of the Iewes about an ambassage of hers to hier braselets and earerings as they vse to doe for setting themselues foorth in Carneual time she going to a casket of her mistresses tooke there out a paire of braselets which she had in a boxe with certaine faire earerings carried them to a Iewe saying that such a gentlewoman her mistresse sent thither that ware to bee let out for vse and thus she returned of that message to her mistresse brauely gulled by that wiseaker as coulde bee possible and for a good while there was speech of nothing else in that house but of this wherefore you see that proportionablie the keeper hath placed for an imprese ouer her dore abroad faced owle with a motto which saith Ipse ego ego ipse But be holde next vnto her within her Cell comes that wicked Lucilla da Camerino who is as vitious us a foole as possiblie can be and
supplications let vs call vpon god Apollo in their ayd saying An orizon to Apollo for idle and carelesse Fooles OSacred Apollo called by the Graeciās Phoebus who with thy golden haire or beames comfortest both the one and the other Hemispheare acceptable to all discourteous to none cast such a light of thy diuine beames vpon this blind and carelesse retinue of fooles that they may perceiue themselues by thee in minde rectified and thus enioying thy diuine illumination exalt and magnifie by this meanes that thy vertue and power which slew the proud Cyclopes wounded the wicked sonnes of Niobe and extinguished that cursed serpent Python whereupon thou drewest to thy selfe that glorious title of Pythius Thou planter of Amfrisus inhabiter of Parnassus louer of Helicone lord of fount Caballyne patrone of the Laurell inuentor of the Harpe master of Astrologie and prince of Phisicke helpe these poore slimslacks who haue need of internal remedies for the restitution of their disturbed braine destitute witte obfuscate vnderstanding lost memorie and as thou art called Pronopius for deliuering the Beotiās from gnats Lemnius for curing the Sicilians of the plague Erethibius for healing the Rhodians of the Emeroydes so I beseech thee by these noble titles correspondent to thy great dietie with the others of Thimbrius Cataoneus Cylleus Tenateus Larisseus Tilposius Leucadius Philleus Lybissinus and Symtheus as also Patareus of the towne of Patara in Lycia Cyntheus of Cynthio in the I le of Delos Cyrrheus of Cyrrha Clorius of Claria in Colophonia Lycius of Lycia Crineus of a woode in Ionia so called and Marmorius of the castle Marmorio that it may please thee to adde vnto these epythites this one other of the great Phisition of Fooles ydle and slothfull to the ende that thy name throughout the whole world with exceeding prayses may be extolled and magnified But if in commiseration thou regardest these men as thou hast done the former nations in honour of thee thou shalt see consecrated before thy image a paire of spectacles of sixtie pound weight in thy Temple of Delphos as a true signe of thy hauing recouered and healed so senselesse a people as these were and alwaies this one honour shall be attributed to thee that the blinde see by meane of great Apolloes spectacles at their noses dispatch therefore and make haste of thy helpe for thou canst not delay neuer so little but these now carelesse and ydle Fooles will in the end prooue absolute dolts and cockscombes Of drunken Fooles the fift discourse IT is an euident and manifest thing that amongst the diuers kindes of matter that procured by the fume and vapour of wine is to be placed which constituteth these kinde of Fooles whom we commonly call drunkards they being of this qualitie that when they bee heated and chafed with wine they raise such tumults and noyse as they resemble herein Steropus or Bruntus in Vulcane his forge wherfore Atheneus the Philosopher in the fourteenth book of his Gymnosophistes propoundeth this question wherefore Dionysius or Liberus is fained by the Poets to be mad to which demaund he answereth in the first chapter with these words Many friend Timocrates fayned Dionysius to be mad because they that vse wine immoderatly become tumultuous which matter was also touched by Ouid in these verses Beware of brawles oft stirred vp in wine And of that hand which striketh out of time And Herodotus in this consideration saith that wine once taken downe into a mans bodie mad and foolish words are produced Xenophon also being to giue good counsell to the great Captaine Agesilaus about abstinence from wine vsed these words Refraine drunkennes and madnes making it should seeme no difference betweene a drunkard and a mad Foole for the vapour of wine mounting vp into the braine taketh from a man sight knowledge and iudgement and ouerwhelmeth all the noblest faculties of our soule in an instant the which thing Saint Ambrose touched excellently well in his booke of Fasting saying Cum ebrij fuerint de continentia disputant vbi vnus quisque pugnas suas enarrat ibi fortia facta praedicat vino madidus somno dissolutus nescit mente quid lingua proferat which signifieth when they are drunke they argue of continencie where euerie one declareth the dangerous fights he hath beene in there he setteth foorth his valiantacts thus drowned in wine and drowsie with sleepe the minde conceiues not what the toong vttereth Whereupon in the Decretals not without cause in the thirtie ninth distinction these profitable words be registred It is farre from a wise mans part to apply himselfe to eating banquetting and drunkennes And in this point our Poet Dante greatly commendeth the first Saturnian age when they went not into cellars to broach hogsheads but ran with their hands to the fresh water riuers saying The former age which was of purest gold Made acornes sauorie with sharpe hunger sause And Nectar sweet of riuer water cold Oh happie were this our age if with such abstinence it were endued but the truth is they are now adaies no other but giddie-headed Pyes chattering after fiftie in the hundred when the good Rhenish liquor beginneth to worke Among those of late daies one example of Margute of Binasco is able to fill the whole world with laughter for when he hath drunke but three cups of muskadell then he sleepes like god Bacchus and thus his wits riding on the spurre at last he arriueth with the first poste in Lubberland where at the first setting of foote he meeteth Tom Tospot taking him for the best companion in the world but when the good Canarie gets but vp to his crowne then like one of the Menades or Bacchus furious Nunnes he runneth vp and downe the house filling euerie place with such terrour as it seemeth another wilde Baiardo hath broken his halter no man daring to come in the way of such a headstrong beast as this yet sometimes he procureth to the companie great solace and recreation as that night he did when being drunke and going to bed hee beheld the moone and thinking it had beene a riuer he said to his companions and friends Hold me I pray you for feare I drowne my selfe in this riuer Among the ancients the Scythians and Thracians are greatly blamed because the greatest glorie they tooke was in drinking while they were drunke wherefore Horace writeth of them The Thracians tosse the bowles with merrie glee And Aristotle in reproch of the Syracusanes maketh mention that sometimes they continued 90. daies one after an other in this irkesome custome of being euery day drunke holding it for a noble glorious practise It is written of Nero aboue all others that he was so addicted to ebrietie as that for this cause he was ignominiouslie in stead of Tiberius called Biberius for Claudius Caldius and for Nero Mero or Wine But he that knownes not what an euill ebrietie is
of his Mathematickes saith Et siluna male fuerit collocata aut spasticos aut lunaticos aut caducos facit which is If the moone be euill placed either it maketh men extatical lunatick or subiect to the kings euill For this kinde of argument I may produce the examples of Nicoletto of Francolino and Lorenzino of Chioggia of which the first vpon the newe moone woulde enter sometimes into an humour that he was become a lobster hunting out all the neerest waters and brookes whereinto to leape and an otherwhile that he was turned into a doade man putting a couple of tēder hornes vpon his owne head the better to imitate his forme and condition then that he was a leeke or a yoong garlicke blade and thus ran among the Herbagers crying out who will buie fine sallet or herbage an other time that he was growne a sausage or dried flitch of bacon shunning the larderers more then the pestilence itselfe for feare they shoulde haue offered him some indignitie The other vpon the waining of the moone shedde likewise a great part of his wits or braine for he would run naked through the market places discouering all his priuie parts and other whiles all hampered with a great wicker basket hee went through the market place iustling all those he met withall but many times altogither distracted he woulde lay at men with staues stones and sometimes being a matter exceedingly woorth the laughing at he woulde disple himselfe vpon the naked buttocks with a neates garbage running after the boies with the filthie and stinking bowels and casting them at those that came about him like a companie of birdes about a madge-howlet Santino of Pietra-mala was also lunaticke and being possessed with this indisposition of the braine one day vpon the ful of the moone he plaied many fonde partes worthie the laughing at and among others this one is reported of that lighting on a tauerne or tipling house which had a lawrell garland hanging out for a signe hee put the same garlande on his owne head and began to say that he was a Poet singing whatsoeuer came first into his minde where a companie of people being gathered about him and perceiuing by chance an harlot whose name was Diana in the Poeticall furie which then tooke him in the head singing hee vttered of her these verses Looke on that whipper Digennie I say That cals her selfe Diana Vglie deformed foule and filthie Like a rammish goate an ape or a monckey And beholding else where a certaine appendant hee sung of him these verses following You sir who teacheth yoong men to be nought Shall be for a Corydon taken and thought Among these lunatickes we may also put Menegone of Olmo who thus in the moones waining tottering in braine went vp and downe the ditches to gather rootes bringing many times bundels of nettles and wilde thistles into the market place minding to fell this baggage in steede of holesome rootes sometimes he went a fishing for frogs and filled a trey full of toades which he knew not and otherwhiles also playing the Tinker hee went crying vp downe the countrie all blacke as a cole who hath any candle-stickes dishes kettels or pans to mend neither was he like a tinker in any thing but onely the smeare and collow of his beard with a greasie sacke on his shoulder which for this purpose he carried about with him These be therefore those kinde of lunatickes wee haue hitherto spoken of who within the Hospitall haue hanging out before the dore of their Cell for a signe the goddesse Hecate whom as their fauorite according to our accustomed manner wee will with this petition vnder written salute A petition to goddesse Hecate for Fooles lunaticall or by season BE thou alwaies blessed and with infinite cōmendations set forth O thou gentle daughter of Latona sister to god Apollo deseruedly termed Hecate bicause thou procurest that the ghoastes and vnburied walke abroad an hundreth yeers without rest or quiet through whose power in like sort these poore fooles erre in their wits whom wee call lunatike vouchsafe cheerefully to powre downe thy benigne influence vpon this weake fraternitie which they daily expect from thee with so great desire O thou threeforme goddesse Succour I beseech thee this thy weake and wauering flocke for when thy helpe shall appeere so readie at hande for such deere friends there shal incontinently in like manner in three solemne temples which thou hast one in Perga a citie of Pamphilia another in Ephesus and the third in Persian Tauris bee erected to thy honour as most noble Trophes three Turkish auncients with the Ottomans crest in the middest which will euidently possesse all men of the good thou hast done them and of the euill which by thy grace and fauour thou hast remooued and taken from these Of carpet and amorous Fooles the eighteene discourse NOw woulde it be requisite that we had the knowledge and practise togither of as many amorous accidents as haue fallen out both in the old and this our present age that we might describe with conuenient solemnitie all the fopperies of louers they being manifest causes of a thousand other follies which from this stock as from their beginning drawing their originall and essence cause their life not onely to appeere but really and in effect to be the strangest and maddest race that may be imagined This follie seemeth principally to be rooted in thoughts desires conceites resolutions wordes gestures signes and actions all of which linking themselues togither make a man in cases of loue so foolish that the argument heereof exceedeth any other subiect I haue before spoken of with fonde thoughts the foolish louer goeth about to make castles in the aire of himselfe imagining daily which is the breefest and speediest meane to accomplish his incontinencies which howerly maketh him vnquiet troubled afflicted in minde and passionate out of measure From hence commeth it that hee ruminates on treasures riches states dominions empires and power as the readiest waies whereby to compasse the thing beloued and with these apprehensions hee ioineth a desire of Craesus wealth the golde of Media Caesars power and the Emperour Commodus his meanes and heereupon he thinketh on incantations witcheries drugs and all kinde of Magicke practise desiring with the stone Gyges to become inuisible or the herbe Eliotropia to obtaine the secretes of Peter of Abano or those of Ciecco d'Ascoli or the other of Antonio di Fantis to knowe how to put in practise Salomons keie and with coniuration to commaund spirits of one side he striues after Alchimy which enriching him with golde and siluer enough may by this meanes possesse him likewise of his loue on the other side he betaketh himselfe to deceitfull Cabalistrie which by vertue of vnknowne names can dispose of his mistres to his owne minde and thus expatiating amidst a thousand imaginations howe to finde out baudes panders seruants brokeresses or some olde nurse factoresse to write letters
I say the scourge of all extreme cruelties the reuenger of flagition the ouerthrower of the wicked and flaile of all badde men oughtest to haue a care of healing these mens follie in the same manner as thou hast before cured so many other by giuing them into the hands of the furies who incensed against them may inflict vpon them those torments which the greeuousnes of their offence demeriteth The which if thou shalt performe vndoubtedly with all speede an hornelesse doad-man shall bee offred vnto thee for demonstration of the punishment thou hast laide vpon these men according to their deserts and the insolencies which so diuelishly they haue committed A discourse of the Author to the beholders concerning that part of the Hospitall which appertaineth to Women wherein he wittily setteth down all the former kindes of folly to be likewise resident in them COnsidering noble beholders that you haue commodiously perused all their Cels one by one who diuerslie besotted and depriued of their witte are become not so much a ridiculous as a miserable spectacle to other men and that you haue taken such delight in the subiects of them as you coulde anie waies looke for from so strange and vncouth humours administring at an instant by diuers meanes both contentment and woonder to your mindes by the specialties of follie which you haue obserued I thinke it not much amisse to point out vnto you likewise this other part of the Hospitall allotted to women causing you to beholde with your eies the most ridiculous emploiments of foolish women that euer peraduenture you haue seene in the worlde Bicause with the greater solace you may leaue this harbour and replenished with greater woonder and admiration goe all ouer the worlde declaring and setting foorth the monstrous follies which shall by me be reuealed vnto you the which you receiuing from mee will in your relating them to others administer speciall contentment Fixe therefore your lookes I beseech you on that part which I will point out vnto you and cast an eie heere on the left hand where you see a long rowe of lodgings and chambers which haue so manie superscriptions titles and deuises set vpon their dores for all those be Cels appropriated to foolish women to be hold which leisurely is accounted no smal fauour it being the custome to shew them seldome and to few in respect of the modestie obserued towardes that sexe naked for the most part as you now see The first chamber which you see there with that deuise hanging ouer the dore which is a tuft of wilde nettles with an inscription which importeth in puncto vulnus is the lodging of a Romaine matrone called Claudia Marcella which in her youth was the most sweete affable Iouiall and pleasant madde wench that from the one to the other pole coulde bee mette withall a rare patterne of comlines the onely portraiture of curtesie the image of diuine splendor and beautie and the very expresse Idea of courtly grace and carriage and nowe behold howe lamentable her chance was slipping one day in her pantofles as she went to the solemnization of goddesse Bona her feast shee fell vpon a great stone with her forehead and chinne and thus loosing both her wit and memorie at an instant she began to bee lunaticke and doting after such a sort as she became euerie day woorse and woorse sitting vpon the bedde as you see al mournfull and heauie with an vrinall at hande and as often as you demaund an answer of her touching this or that matter so often doth she take the vrinal out of an Hutch harde by and beholding herselfe therein she saith this is the wise prophetesse Sybilla and thus peereth sometimes on the vrinall glasse and otherwhiles on the water within it Whereupon the master of the Hospitall who is a man of greatknowledge and vnderstanding about the causes and reasons of the infirmities there raigning hath framed that deuise or imprese with the title minding ingeniously heerein to giue gentlemen strangers to vnderstand that come to beholde this part of the Hospitall by the tuft of pricking nettles and that motto In puncto vulnus that as the nettle no sooner toucheth but it pricketh and stingeth so that matrone no sooner slipt and fell vpon the stone but that by the cruell fall she was so affrighted in her braine as nowe she laboureth and turmoileth her-selfe there within as you see That other chamber neere vnto it where you see one standing in the dore who all silent and sadde with her eies looking downward and all disheaueled to fixe her countenance vpon the earth neuer so much as looking vpward but on the contrarie with her eies drooping she so bendeth her lookes to the grounde as it might seeme that her eies were concentred and fast linked to the earth is one Martia Cornelia of the countrie of the Insubrians who from her infancie hath beene possessed with melancholike humours and therefore you may obserue her so sauage in aspect and in countenance ghastly And amongst other humours which oftentimes disturbe her imagination this one in good earnest is verie terrible that many times she takes herselfe to be a silke worme whereupon she neuer doth any thing else but nibble vpon mulberie leaues affirming that by this meanes she preserueth her-selfe in life and therefore you may perceiue that the deuise and motto set vpon her gate by the master of the Hospitall be correspondent to her infirmitie the deuise being a codde or webbe with a silke worme within and on the one side a little branch of a mulberie tree with a motto framed in these words Et mihi vitam alijs decus But I praie you looke a little foreward and regard that Cell which hath the gate open where shee whom you see with a cushinet by her and a fine wicker basket with cruell and silke to worke withall giuing ouer her best emploiment with that needle in her hande shee goeth stabbing of flies and pismires in steede of working vpon her cushion she is called Marina de Volsci so lither and idle that the whole day in steede of some serious labour she giueth her-selfe to bucksomnes gig-loitry wherefore the master of the place hath assigned her for a deuise a graie bearded olde man pursuing of butterflies with a motto appertinent to the purpose Quo grauior eo segnior The fourth Cell which next succeedeth if you marke well for it hath the gate gaping and wide open is made after the fashion of a tauerne wherein a woman lieth prostrate with her haire loose about her eares a Thirsus in her hande and withall a little bell seruing to ring therewith to god Bacchus his feasts who is one of those ancient Menades by some called Bacchides and by others Stimeles in that by Lycus his fury they were stimulated where this woman called Teronia Heluetia with her head full of good Greeke and Trebian wines doth nothing else but whirle about shaking that Thirsus or