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A42887 God give you joy The hearty wish of a Christian friend to the bridegroom and the bride. A marriage-present for the new-married-couple: containing considerations and advices, in order to perswade young married people to begin the married life in the fear of the Lord. With directions and prayers. With plainness, intended for the meanest understanding. By one that desires to be a true son of the church of Christ, as by the gospel established. 1691 (1691) Wing G906A; ESTC R223684 39,458 63

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or woman whether they prevail or not If you prevail with an ungodly husband or wife to turn from the errour of their ways to do that which is good and right in the sight of the Lord you shall save a Soul from death Jam. 5.20 And cause joy in heaven which is at the conversion of a sinner Luc. 15.10 A comfort in it self Besides the benefit your self enjoy in the holy conversation of one renewed of whose renewing you your self have been the happy instrument thro' Gods Grace in the Lord Jesus But tho' you prevail not indeed that consideration is sad where there is love to a Soul to have spent much labour in vain Yet there is comfor in this that it is not in vain in the Lord. This was the comfort of the great Prophet Isaiah complaining for want of success and may be yours surely your Judgment is with the Lord and your work and reward with God Is 48.4 If the filthy will be filthy still and the ungodly will be ungodly still their blood shall be upon their own head and you that endeavour to perswade with sincerity have delivered your own Soul and shall ever bea● in your bosom that comfortable testimony of a good conscience and peace from God that passeth understanding shall keep and comfort your hearts and minds thro' Christ Jesus P●il 4.7 And he that shall come will come quickly and his reward is with him to give to every one according as their work shall be Even so come Lord Jesus The Grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you Amen An ADVERTISEMENT To such as have been long married 'T IS possible these papers may come to the hands of such as have been long married or at least so long as to be past the title of new-married people and may therefore think that that this does not concern them But I desire such to consider that it concerns them much every way For either they are such as have lived according to Gods holy way or not 1. If they have indeed lived together in that holy love which these papers perswade to then they speak peace to them from God And give them the joy and comfort of all the blessings proposed as motives and advantages And I doubt not but that they have experience of the comforts of an holy heavenly life and must testifie the truth of what is here advanced And doubtless they do find encouragement enough to go on in that way to the end 2. But if they have not so lived together then they find themselves spoken to in every advice and motive especially in the fourth and fifth Section Every line calls more loudly to such in the words of the Apostle Eph 5.15 Awake thou that sleepest and Christ shall give thee light Have you so long neglected so great a blessing and continued under the curse and tempted the Almighty to give you up to hardness of heart O see the goodness and patience and long suffering of God! Give judgment your selves between God and your Souls Have you not neglected the best way too long And shall not his patience lead you to repentance shall not the time past suffice to have lived without God should not the love of Christ constrain you to this holy love of each others Souls Let it do so then now at the last And set about what is here advised to as new married people should and reap at last the too much neglected blessings 'T is never too late to begin to do well Nay you should labour the more earnestly considering how you have blockt up your own way by your sinful neglect Repent therefore and bring forth fruits meet for repentance Prayers for Gods blessing assisting grace to the married couple These first in order taken out of the publick Office and fitted for private use When you are come home on the Wedding-day or at Evening and so for some dayes after read first those Scriptures declaring the mutual duties of man and wife or else some other portion of Scripture with attention And then kneeling down together endeavour to lift up your hearts to the Lord and say O Eternal God creator and preserver of all mankind giver of all Spiritual Grace the author of everlasting life send thy blessing upon us thy servants who have this day consented together in holy marriage and have engaged our word in truth to each other to live together as man and wife according to thy holy word and have received a publick blessing in thy name Bless us O Lord we beseech thee in secret and grant that as Isaac and Rebecca lived faithfully together so we may surely perform and keep the Vow and Covenant betwixt us made and may ever remain in perfect love and peace together and live according to thy Law thro' Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen God the Father God the Son and God the holy Ghost bless preserve and keep us O Lord mercifully with thy grace look upon us and so fill us with all Spiritual benediction and grace that we may so live together in this life that in the world to come we may obtaine life everlasting Amen O God of Abraham God of Isaac God of Jocob bless us thy Servants and sow the seeds of eternal life in our hearts Help us to attend diligently on thy holy word so that we may profit and learn thereby and be doers thereof Look O Lord mercifully upon us from heaven and bless us And as thou didest send thy blessing upon Abraham and Sarah to their great comfort so vouchsafe to send thy blessing upon us thy Servants that we obeying thy will and always being in safety under thy protection may both abide in thy love and in holy Christian love to each other to our lives end thro' Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen O God who by thy mighty power hast made all things of nothing who also after other things set in order didst appoint that out of man created after thine own image and similitude woman should take her beginning and knitting them together didst teach that it should never be lawful to put asunder those whom thou by Matrimony hadst made one O God who hast consecrated the state of Matrimony to such an excellent mystery that in it is signified and represented the Spiritual marriage betwixt Christ and his Church look mercifully upon us thy Servants whom thou hast brought to joyn together in the marriage covenant That I may love this my wife according to thy word as Christ doth love his Spouse the Church loving and cherishing her as my own flesh And also that this woman whom thou hast given to be my wife may be loving and amiable faithful and constantly obedient in all Christian love and in all quietness and peace be a follower of holy and godly Matrons O Lord bless us both and grant us to inherit thine everlasting Kingdom through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen O Almighty God who at the beginning didst create our first parents
to spend such times of leisure in holy and enlivening discourses considering each others estate as in the respect of your Souls and call on one another that both together may call on the Lord. And if neither can read it is further advisable that you endeavour to get acquaintance and familiarity with some godly Christian neighbour that can read whither you may often go and spend the evenings especially before Children come on to hinder not to wast time as the worldly custome is to talk of news you little understand or of the affaires of the town or parish that little or nothing concern you but to desire them to read some portion of the Scripture or other good book to help you in the great concern of your Souls Or if your business in the world be such as admits of taking prentices or Servants labour to have such as can read they may on that account be of more advantage to the family then their bodily labour And this I alwayes look upon as duty that if Servants cannot read you endeavour that they may be taught and if they can read 't is your duty to keep them to reading at fit times and 't is prudence so to do as it is profitable to your selves and family I shall conclude these two last advices with a caution which I hinted before that you be not ashamed of weakness and inability in private before each other either in respect of reading or praying I mean not to neglect these private duties because you think you cannot do them well enough therefore do not do them at all because one shall not take notice how weak or ignorant the other is This oftentimes is a snare and great occasion of neglect and if not carefully avoided may make all the advices here offered to be to no purpose if you suffer this sinful bashfulness to hinder the beginning or setting about the work till you think your selves better fitted and more able Satan and your own evil hearts will be ready to suggest this often as a means to promote delay and so 't is made too often a continual hindrance But to prevent this if possible I propose these Considerations 1. First consider that marriage having now made you one flesh there is no reason to be ashamed of doing your duty tho' you perform it but weakly because you ought in Justice to think that so near a relation as part of your self will not despise but rather pitty and help as one flesh And as they ought will cover with the robe of love the infirmities that possibly may be discovered Because now that which is the shame or disgrace of one reflects on the other and so becomes the disgrace of both and for one to despise the other is to dishonour themselves and none ever yet so hated his owne flesh Two members of the same body may be touched with grief for the weakness of each other but not with shame but rather help and beare the more of the burden if either be weake so the poor beasts drawing in the same yoke are not ashamed to help tho' not so strong as their fellow So tho' thou art sensible that thou canst not do as thou wouldest yet do this duty as well as thou canst and be not ashamed for 't is thy duty 2. Secondly consider what great folly it is to pretend to be ashamed to do thy duty because thou canst do it but weakly and therefore to leave it undone when thou art not ashamed of thy sin in neglecting such plain and necessary duties which tend so much to the glory of God thy interest in Christ for thy Souls good and are so cheif a part of Christian love to thy yoke-fellow Let Conscience tell thee which is worst to do duty willingly and sincerely tho' weakly or to let it alone undone Sure that is shame indeed 3. Consider that it is only want of use and exercise in this duty that makes you bashful and therefore you are loath to begin but if you will begin and master those first reluctancies you will find that practice will make you dayly both bolder and abler 4. This pretended shame and bashfulness will be a continual hindrance till you begin This will make you draw back when convinced of duty and Satan will hold this argument fast and use it long in the war against thy Soul And when there is nothing else to hinder but shame if ashamed to day the same argument will hold to morrow and the like the next day and so on as a continual pretence for neglect till you begin but then no longer For if once you have begun shame is broken and troubles you no more or at least but weakly Now consider every one has a beginning and beginnings in all are usually weak in respect of after improvements and performances Be not then longer ashamed to begin 't is God commands the necessities of both your Sou's require Christ has prepared the way Heb. 10.19 Therefore put on boldness and you will grow more able and find more comfort Adv. 5. The fifth advice I give is that you sanctifie the Sabbath the Lords day joyne together in this at the first and take the more diligent heed to do this because you cannot but observe that it is generally too much neglected notwithstanding that plain command of God Ex. 20.8 Therefore as God has set that day apart from others for himself and commanded you to do so also do you set that day apart to be spent by you in the Spiritual business of God and your Souls And if you know that either have neglected before marriage then you have the more need to deal faithfully in warning one another and telling each other plainly of the Sin in that particular especially if you have been the occasion to one another of neglecting the Sabbath This too often is the Sin of people of a mean or low condition tho' not of those only that make their wooing visits appoint such meetings for idle walks mixt with folly and prophane discourse or idle chatt on that day An ill beginning and possibly may be the cause in great measure of so many unlucky marriages which afterwards go on in ungodly living and tend to increase of misery If this then has been your case you have the more need to bring one another to a sense of that sin and to a speedy change and newness of life when you have been the occasion of ensnaring each other in so great an evil Wherefore spend not your first Sabbath in idle and needless visits to see new cousins and new neighbours Neither spend that nor any other Sabbath at home in sloth and folly under pretence of reading a chapter But go both together to Church to the ordinances and publick assembly of Gods people and never neglect as the manner of too many is Heb. 10.25 unless hindred by some extraordinary providence And when you are returned home from the Ordinances spend