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cause_n good_a lord_n see_v 4,192 5 3.2926 3 true
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A76236 A relation of a mans return and his travaills out of a long and sore captivitie to partake of that rest, which remaineth to the people of God. Written for the sake of those who wants the consolation of Israel, and would walke in the heavenly way thereof, if they knew it. Written by one of Zyons travellors, Th. Bayles. Bayle, Thomas.; Crisp, Stephen, 1628-1692. 1677 (1677) Wing B1470; ESTC R230852 33,900 24

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from the holy visitation of his compassionate freind which had received and beleived as conduceing to his satisfaction so that instead of setling downe in heart and mind into the holy operation of it thereby to feel his deliverance he steales away his heart therefrom and begets him into a boasting and exalting spirit to talk of that his enjoyment and thereby to a loss he came and an abatement of the supply thereby which he had some hopes of whilst it manifested it self unto him and he joyning him self thereto for its assistance and releife And being made destitute thereof by so doing more then a knowledg in his braine and vaine boasting he soon felt the former miserie to revive which made him to groan within him self as one like unto a ship tossed in the troubled sea by the restless waves thereof without a rudder and in danger of perishing every moment This made the man to recollect him self whereby he saw not that subjection feare and humilitie in his heart which he was inclined to by the former visitation nor him self persecuteing that former desire of his of casting himself upon the goodnes and mercie of the Lord that so he might know a settlement in a habitation of quietness and peace And begon to see and understand that there was an adverse part spirit or power in him unto his salvation which did get and steale away his minde from waiting for it And further that there was also a Spirit principle or power in him which wrought in his minde against the former and him for joyning to it which brake his peace and made those woundings in his soule from whence arose all those feares distresses and miseries which he had so long in deepheart sorrow groaned under and from whence sprangfort those hopefull and true refreshing beames of comfort which he had at sometimes had some feeling of and was good cause and incouragement unto him further to waite thereon as on that alone which might worke his deliverance And in the consideration of this he some time was and the Lords secret and still drawings of his minde inward often visited him to draw him to him self from whence he was departed into folly so that the man in tremblingwise or broakeness began to be before the Lord and to encline his heart to him who before now had visited him to his wounding even he who searcheth the heart and tryeth the reines had smitten him that in everlasting kindness he mightly downe and sorrow be removed from him And as the compassionate one unvailed the man and understanding began to reside with him this was unto him as if life had enterd to the raising of him up above his former troubles like unto a woman for joy that a man was born into the world and remembring how he had been deceived for he could not but with greiffe of heart reflect back on that he began to have regard thereto in more bowedness of spirit least that he also should loose the fruition of so great mercie and therefore said Let me know thee O thou searcher of my heart that I may obey thee and deliver me from all my enemies and that was it which he was earnest for and had his eye at and hoped to enjoy but it was in a hasty mind out of true subjection and understanding as those of old time who said Lord wilt thou at this time restore the kingdom to Israel so apt is man to make hast and not to waite resignedly upon the Lord that his will might be don and work effected in the earth And it is to be noted for so it came to pass that as the man sunck downe or bowed before the Lord and breathed for the manifestation and teaching of his holy power and Spirit to effect and work there in his soule according to the good will of his owne tender goodness and compassion that the Lord further enlightned his understanding although contrary to his owne giveing him to see the darkness and confusion in which he was wrapped about as with a mantle and fetterd as with chaines of Iron where at fresh cause of lamentation and mourning arose in him in consideration of that enimitie disobedience and rebellion that he had lived in indayes by past against his maker for of this he was perswaded in his minde who before now thought that although he had not spent his time so citcumspectly or with such holy consideration and sobriety as he should or ought to have don yet far was it from him to think or beleeve that he had so far faln short of his dutie or so far been alienated from his Maker as now he began to be convinced that he had and was And concluded that it had been well for him to have remembred his Creator in the dayes of his youth and not to have spent soe much of his pretiouss time in such idleness vanitie according to the evill course of this world as he had don which if he had not hearkned unto nor inclined his heart to follow after but had sought after the Lord to know him according to his early visiting of him to return unto him to walk before him in his holy feare he had come to know with those which so do no great travell for it s said that wisdom preventeth those which earely seek her by first shewing her self unto them and he did really beleeve the same and hath since seen the fullfilling so it in many who hath sought after her betimes But as the Light of the Lord did arise and shine forth in him letting him to see things which differd from it this caused him to confess his guilt before the Lord he could in no wise deny or extenuate it for he read it in his owne conscience which stood as an everlasting record against him and now he thought him self in a more desperate and distressed condition then ever before for he could not speak for him self he could not call for mercie he was afraid to lift up his eyes to heaven the pressure of his owne iniquity lay so heavy upon him neither knew he how to eate or drinck possess or enjoy he was afraid and his feare increased day by day for understanding was given unto him and the revealation of his wretched and deploreable state in measure stood open and bare before him So gloriouss was the outgoings of the Lord in the removing the vayle of his heart so as if he needed not any one to accuse him or to lay things to his charge or to make him guilty in his owne eyes And as he saw him self at first deceived so now how forward he had been to yeild to the deceiver which stood as an aggravation of his former evils in which he had lived Thus saw he that he stood in covenant with hell and death and alienated from God in enmity and ungodlyness or as that of Salomon when he thus concluded I sayd in my heart concerning the estate of the
of ten troubled and in my trouble feare exceedingly and in my feare to have torment O! said his beloved neighbour for he whose voice made this inquiring in him he looked upon him as his enemy and had not a thought that he that wounded did it that he might heal Come come see thy neighbours and acquaintance they are merry men and they refresh them selves thou see and be jocund together come drinck of there cup and eate of their dish that a melancholy spirit may not come over thee and thou go drooping up downe untill thou makes thy self ridiculous unto them and rob thy self of the comfort of thy life what wouldst thou have behold thy possessions may thou not compare with them what wantest thou or what wouldest thou have The man was afraid and knew not well what was the matter with him but as it afterwards appeared the conscience of him stirred in him and there by his peace was broken which he had in the freindship of this world which is enmitie against God he could not swallow his sweet bits as formerly but was therein persued to his astonishment and his pleasures become burthensome unto him then he said he knew not how to live there and therefore would go to his neighbours habitations take of theire mirth and pleasure and refresh himself in their company and castforth thereby the trouble that was in his mind for there the mans greiffe and trouble was so he went and took of of their cup that thereby he might wash down his sorrow as he hoped and other essayes he made which are abounding in the world to divert him from his trouble and endeavourd to talk at any rate that he might be deliverd and be quiet By this time the man might have perceived that when God visit man for his iniquity he makes his beauty to consume as a moth for his face begon to gather paleness and his endeavours proved vaine for he could not get rid of this searching inquiring voice which had visited him it would be sounding in his eares and persuing him and often in the midst of his laughter sorrow would arise and fill his heart so that sometimes he was ready to throw of all his companions and to bid adieu to his idle pleasures and passtimes and then would hang down his head And heaviness of spirit like a tallent of lead ready to sinck him would come over him as if he should have ben swallowed up thereby but still he knew not the hand that persued him neither did he care for acquainting himself with it he looked upon it as his enemy he could not hope for deliverance from that which wounded him for he saw no freindlyness in it and he would have bin at ease and enjoye his frolicks as his neighbours did and not have bin so afflicted as he was but he that smot him still did smit him and his peace which was broaken seemed as if it had bin quite removed from him Now on the other hand he that had enticed him to the drawing his minde out into worldly vanities and the unprofitablenes thereof and thereby drawn him from Remembring his Creator in the dayes of his youth before the evill dayes come where in he could say he had no pleasure he I say continued his insinuations and flatteries seeking by all wayes and meanes of his owne to dawb the man up and that answerable to the desires of his owne heart for when he was wounded and afflicted so that what ever he put his hand unto visitations of sorrow and disquietnes arose in him he said unto him well if sin do ly at thydoor at whose door doth it not have not all sined and all faln short why canst thou not be content quiet thy self The Prophets they prophesied of a saviour to come and thou have read that he came beleeve thou that they are the elect that beleeve in him beleeve thy self to be one of them and apply the promises and it wil be well with thee all must carry about them so long as they are in this world a body of sin thou knows thou will be rid of that when thou comes to dy and rid of all these legall feares and frights of minde which now thou give way unto and readily receive into thy minde and from whence things proceeds and lyes in thy way for which there is no cause or reason to greive and offend thee do thou beleeve the promises they are many and large and that Christ dyed for thee then all will be well do thou see thy neighbours thy acquaintance thy freinds they do not acquaint them selves with such petyfull feares as thou entertaines nor with such needless distracting doubts and questionings and it concerns them as well as thou to see that they lay hold of their saviour and his merits although they perplex not themselves to their owne wounding and make their lives uncomfortable as thou do Thus strove the adversarie to hold the man in the deceivablenes of his owne unrighteousnes that so he might have withstood the visitations of the Lord untill there had ben noe remedy who had visited him by his gentile reproofs that his heart might bow before him and in the sence of his evill have humbled his soule before his holy throne in great contrition of Spirit but notwithstanding the favour of the Lord thus appearing for him he submitted not unto him but sought out to him self many inventions thereby to have been delivered And so the man he would go read the scriptures as he saw others did for he began to think of Religion and see to get some good promises into his minde to comfort and satisfy him felf with all and thought that if he could make out him self to be one of Gods elect one in whom his soule delighted and one whom the Lord took care of and did sustaine by watching over him and leading him by his eye in the wey of the blessing and sure mercies of the Lord that then he might sometimes enjoy him self with his freinds and neighbours after which there was a secret working in his minde which he could not then part with all not having learnd the dayly cross and might pertake of their cups and neighbourly freindships for the man did take notice that some of them would sometimes be talking of Religion of Christs ordinances and Christian duties and such good things and the other which they absented not them selves from he thought would be good fellowship good neighbourhood and the maintaining good society with them and many he saw esteemed them so to be and then he should not be judged by them as a man singuler or of a morose temper and frowardly inclined so tumbled over the scriptures forward and backward like those who searched the Scriptures as since he understood but would not come to Jesus that they might have life to see for some comfortable places to stay himself upon or thereby to releive him self upon so great an