meeting places in painted cloth or frames present the lively Histories still unto posterity and the signes of St George in every Towne almost of England convinces all men of the certainty of such a person and his famous acts and since the defeat of that strange Dragon which was then pregnant and so was slaine her and her issue there hath not a Dragon been heard of in the Country as there are no spiders in Ireland ever since St Patrick caught a Spider upon his face and anathematiz'd them all into England which furnisht the whole Land with Cobweb-Lawn untill this day Nor are the works of Iaques of Spaine lesse credited who by his holy life and prayer effected that the universall Monarchy should be in times to come setled in the Austrian family about the dayes when the Indians should be converted to their Religion and a protuberancy of the lip should be the certeine signe of the true heir to the Crowne that Oranges Lemmons and Malaga Reisins should breed as good blood as Beefe Veale or Mutton and that the Knight-Errants of Iberia should be fortified to live without meat or sawce for many dayes It may as well be denyed that Duke D' Alvas face is not to be seen on Jugge-pots in Holland or Father Garnets in straw in England or Monsieur D' Ancres privities in all Tavernes in France whosoever shall goe about to overthrow the verity of these books of Errantry will find himselfe an endlesse piece of labour they having so many champions to defend them the world swarms with men of this profession who under the notion of relieving the oppressed advance themselves highly in their times Pitty it is that Chronologers have taken no more notice of them which is the chiefe cause that we can but guesse and that uncerteinly too in what age these heroicall spirits ever flourished Plutarch's lives Luciant Fables Valerius Commines Fox Stow Hollingshead would be of no account and scarce bought if some good Antiquary would but yet make it his businesse and iâ— would be worke enough to derive the History of these gallant men from the Knights of the Golden Fleece unto the Knight of the Ill-favour'd Face CHAP. XXIII As we prove Ballads true Don takes the hint And justifies Romances cause in print If it be licenc'd it is true although A book may lie cum Privilegio 'T is a lye licenc'd and made fit for sale And Caveat Emptor fastned to the tâ—le Were 't not for this the Knights of errant worth As Don i' th' Cage could never have got forth The Knight o' th' Sun had found eternall night But that an Imprimatur gave him light And Captaine Jones in all his dreadfull dresse Had ne'r been known i' th' crowd but for the Presse Wherefore no Knights unlesse against their wils Ever adventur'd on the Paper Mils Of other Mils indeed our Don makes brags But counts that Sacred which doth grind the rags TEXT THat were a jest indeed that bookes which are printed with the King's Licence and approbation of those c. This is the very life of all books priviledge and their Licence it is their guard and security from the mouths of scandalous invectors who would conclude most things for untruths but that this warrant doth defend them What other buckler have the many controversies difference of opinions then the Broad Seals to shelter themselves or rather lye under what authority or reason for the multitude of authors now abroad but that they are printed and like children expos'd are sent forth to seek their fortune with a good frontispiece like the Grecians Table to get favour beliefe or mony which is better then both Sir Iohn of famous memory not he of the Boares-Head in East cheap desir'd but a broad Seale or Letters Patent for to raise a shilling of every one that could give no reason why he should refuse but in case there were any that should deny him as there are some costive and obstinate natures that will not part with their mony without very good cause why he desir'd leave to summon those up to London to dispute the case which rather then they would be at trouble of 't was twenty to one but the mony would be paid Such efficacy have those instruments that I have heard of a Reversioner that kill'd the present incumbent with the opening of his Box as if it had been Pandoras out of which diseases issued What greater pleasure can there be then to behold as one would say even here before our eyes c. A Topick à jucunditate or rather jocunditate objecti Whereas all things are desirable for some great profit or delight conceived or absolutely in them none hath more then this dream of Knight-Errantry Which though it introduces you into lakes with Serpents yet it never leaves you without the Lady of the Lake If it brings you into Forrests deserts and almost inaccessible places there will an Ariadne some disconsolate Fairy or other appeare as if you had come by her owne clue thither to be your solacer and she-comforter as you see by experience in the Don who though inchanted in his Cage out of which there was no possibility of getting but by the power of a higher excantation yet at the request of Madam Cloacina who never fail'd him in his necessities he is let loose I dare affirm of myselfe that since I became a Knight-Errant I am valiant courteous liberall c. This proofe a Teste seipso is not so current as the other for it was bottom'd upon his owne daring to say it and 't is knowne he durst doe much But the attributes with some qualifications might be very well usurped by him as that he was valiant ferendo which passive fortitude is most erratick liberall promittendo courteous recipiendo denying nothing that was given him generous but not generosus and that in genere not in specie gentle and most of all since his keeping in the Cage bold for there he adventur'd to tempt his Bases mild or rather mellow and soft or pappy patient per-force as they say an indurer of labours Imprisonments and Inchantment revera and plerunque And as of old Iulius Caesar got Gallia dando accipiendo ignoscendo So Don Quixot by giving nothing forgiving any thing and taking every thing would in good time if he were capable of it make Sancho Pancha Earle of Terra incognita I understand not those Philosophers quoth Sancho but this I know well that I would I had as speedily the Earledome as I could tell how to governe it About a season both though no doubt if he would have applyed his mind to those abandon'd Philosophers he might sooner have learn'd how to governe then his Lord got the government for him The frame of his body much agreeing with sitting and sleeping in Judicature and that mind that was able to informe that body would take informations at leisure The power and the reward was the thing Sancho lookâ— for The
was something above him So Cyrus on a Dromedary rod Adoring like to Sancho his Warm'd God He tore an Oake and set on the Iron of his own It was strange that Sancho did not alight and set on the Iron but permit his Master to doe it But hence you may gather that Knight-Errants as they are of all Countries and all Languages so they are of all Trades They take it from the Ottoman Race who are alwaies bred up to handicrafts Thou must not assist me unlesse those that assault me be base and Vulgar people Very easie Indentures these of a Squire-errant and yet had they been given sooner Sancho was by his Conditions to have run the same danger with his Master at the encounter of the Windmils For what more base Castle than a Mill And what more vile Rogue than the pilfering Giant in it But Sancho was not dub'd and therefore was excusable and never meant to be and therefore would for ever be excused Nor did â—uixot as ever I read of make tryall of his Squires personall valour before they mounted as a Knight in our Country but not of that Order did who having dealt with a Master of the noble science of defence for his Usher of the Schoole whom he obtained from him for a summe of money before he came to his owne seat rode to a City where he was acquainted with a huge Bravo in that Art unto whom he repaired and told him that he had got a young pretender to the tacticks and desired that he would be pleased to try what mettall he was made of the Tryer looking very disdainefully upon the young man as Goliath upon little David went forthwith to the Schoole where having chose the weapons to it they fell the Tryer bidding him Guartha and be carefull for he should give him cause to know that he met a man of skill the Usher lay purposely open and unguarded and the other spying the advantage gave him a brush whereat he vapoured extreamely shaking his head at the fellows unexperiencednesse whereupon the Usher gathered up his skill and mettle at once and gives his Trier such a wipe o'r the shins that he made him make a Leg for 't though not in Courtship and presently retires to the Knight and swore 'T is a pretty fellow there 's hopes of him Anon the Usher gives him a shrewd swap on the very end of the elbow which he rub'd likewise in his commendations and said 'T is a very pretty fellow i' faith By and by the Probationer with quick returnes laid his Trier o'r the sides legs and pate all in an instant whereupon he threw away his Weapon and sware to the Knight He is for your turne Sir 'T is a question whether his Tongue or head ran faster in his commendation Do you not see Sir said Sancho that these are Friers of Saint Bennets Order The Don contrary to the advice of Sancho attempts this more dangerous adventure for the Windmils could only grind the body but these Friers the Purse That Coate is higher priz'd in Spaine than in England where it was five pound a blow and the Don being a nimble striker how soone might the revenew of the Mancha have been thrash'd out upon one of their Canonicall Coates Besides the danger of the Inquisition which Sancho dreaded as hell where no Wallet would be admitted and the bottle of good Sack for ever to be banished Bread and Water unto Sancho the Furies were not worse Torment to him than the latter of them for which cause he was very glad the World should ne'r be drown'd againe for of all deaths he hated it and like Ovid not with him was used to cry out Demite naufragium Mors mihi munus erit Which Iohn Taylor thus Englisheth To drinke indeed is all my wish But how not to drinke as a Fish Sancho run in to the Monke and would have raâ—sack't his habits Non videt id Manticae quod in tergo est Yes Sancho had seen Cappuchines and knew where their Wallets were where the stock lay no paddee to a Trooper so expert and now you see the chiefe of Sancho's service he was for the plunder the Squire for the bag the Knight for the baggage for he is with the Biscaine Lady while his Squire made an adventure indeed of robbery but was taken in the fact and having two unmercifull Jury-men and Judges for they were all two heavy fisted Lackeys never was horse so curryed betwixt two Northern Jockies as Sancho was Sancho pleaded well that they were lawfull prize by law of Armes but the unskilfull knaves not knowne to Civill Courts used him very barbarously nay no Barber would have serv'd him so though he had often gon away trimm'd for nothing they grubb'd up his reverend haires by the roots and left his chin as bare as a pull'd hens rump In ten yeares travels they came not againe so that Ioan at his return thought him made young againe and had they grubb'd downward and a like growth come there also it might have passed for a very good Metamorphosis The Monk all this while though he had his Thou shalt not steale for Sancho not remembring his Lackeyes of the other precept which was very neer violating for Sancho was breathlesse and that is as good as dead got to his horse and with a greater speed then he rode to be admitted into the Monastery made away and left poor Sancho in pate and beard a Monke but of the order of the Maledictines Get thee away Knight in an ill hour or I will kill thee This Biscainer was a Castrill a very Foighter and no doubt but the Pusses in the Coach were his sisters But the Don recounting with himselfe notwithstanding that he swore damnably he would kill him the infallibility of his security in being Knight-Errant that it was impossible to be ever out-right killed he made bold to throw the Caytiffe in his face which was the greatest affront to a Biscainer who is terrâ marique a gentleman that could be offered Had the Biscaine been tossed as our Don was by the Windmill and a little higher in concavum Lunae no doubt but he had been a gentleman by all the four Elements Two such high spirits are now met and more implacable then Clinias and Dametas The Author leaves us uncertaine of the issue of this single combate which however it went with the Master was notorious on the Brutes side for Rosinante run down the hired tired jade of the Biscainer And if the horse such prayses had The Knight got more or he was mad The End of the first Book FESTIVOVS NOTES VPON DONQUIXOT BOOK II. CHAPTER I. Ioult here we 're at a losse now what shall we doe We must toth ' Exchange for newes e'n at Toledo Where if a Hawker with old scrowles Arabick Doe not support us downe goes all this Fabrick Of Quixotsy Errantry but let me tell yee We happ'ly meet Hamete Benen-geli An old Arabian
Heaven and they will seal it on earth He saw her first at the foot of a rock where the Fountain stands of the Cork-tree Many take great Omens from the place where they first saw their Mistresses this fellow 's first view was from a Cork-Tree Fountain ever since she made water in his mouth but it was unfortunate first because there was a Rock which was the emblem of her hard heart then a Cork Tree which is the emblem of levity inconstancy volubility and hupernatability then at a Fountain which will never stand still but is alwaies running and so nothing can be done It had been farre better if fortune had owed him so much good luck to have seen her rising from gathering of a Rose or in the very cropping a flowers or collection of a whole posy Besides that the proverb especially that which plainly and not parabolically laies down the beginning of Love made for him it must needs have prov'd auspicious for in progresse of a small time it must have come to a wedding Others have had their first views in a Church others at a puppet play at dancing of the ropes some at Green goose Fair many upon May day in the morning which being heretofore sacred to Florâ—â— who was a sweet minion I can tell you in pursuance of her ceremonies have had a green gowne which hath brought things in it's due time out of the parsly bed of him that had the view of the Temple for I cannot ensample you in all take this small account The Amoretto was wont to take his stand at one place about the pew where sate his Mistresse who was a very attentive hearer of the man above her and the sutor was as diligent an eyer of her for having a book and black-lead pen alwaies in his hand as if he took notes of the sermon at last he got her exact picture The Lady observing his constant zeale and quotidian paines for she imagin'd that he wrote short-hand could not withstand the pious Rhetorick of his eye by which fascination he first transmitted the venemous qualities of his warme affections then finding some gracious returnes of her bright luminaries and favourable aspects he gaz'd so long sometimes that he forgot his Table till eye checkt to his duty he scribled not a word of what was spoken In processe of time he came to neerer Colloquies and they spake as others doe by their lips whereby the Impulses of his desires were so strong that shee submitted her selfe to this religious servant who after taking possession of her ensuring office told her the notes he took and shew'd her the fairest lines that ever were drawn in short hand the Lady seeing her face so well done chid him for his hypocrisy and bid him abuse that place no more but charg'd him to work on where he was untill he copy'd out one like them both Sow Barly this yeare and no Wheat Country people are abomination superstitiously given to credit such kind of Artists A seasonable Almanack gaines more reputation then the King of Spaines Bible with all his languages or the King of France with more then his or our late English translation with more then both If the Calender say fair wet windy indifferent or mixt of both they will quarrell with the stars if they make â—or good what Lilly said though in the point of the Eclipse they think him a little contoxicated as they say He that made the day is not once thought on unlesse he agree with the book which is ador'd if it prognostick a good seeds-time and Harvest-time and those yeares most joyfull where our Ladies day being Rent-day fals out late when the Lady lies in the Lords lap 2d for such an Almanack It is ordinary in the Meridian of London for the wenches at an Easter to refuse the Communion unlesse the Apprentices assure them a faire day to aire their Festivall cloths at Isâ—ington Hogs-Town or Totnam high crosse He appeared one day apparelled like a Shepheard Our student hath chang'd his coat he is of a black become a gray Fryar O Love what a puddeâ— hast thou made in this world below yea and in that above too if we will believe the stories of Iupiters shapes and escapes his cleanly conveyance of himselfe into the shape of Amphitruo and thereby into Alcumena was very neat and of all his Metamorphoses the most probable that of the Bull Swan and Ramme are beastly lies But for a Lady to be surpriz'd with I pray Iove it be Iohn makes her in the very fact a Lucreece a Goddesse of chastity while Amphitruo is made a Iupiter and takes one of his principall attributes even Capitolinus which when he is so worshipp'd he weares hornes which signify not as we vulgarly imagine knavishly but according to the Hebrew signification light shining glorious or transparent This whining passion of Shepheards was very antient among the Arcadians who were the first pipers that we read of but they made their nymphs dance after their musick two or three to a flute for the first age was Polygamouâ— they were stout lads and more than Cock-a-twos I wonder how the Don mist this praise of the golden Age in his Oration I fear I shall find him a Castrill or a Pigill like old Chrysoftome or else thus transform'd he would have had her by hook or by crook He made the Carols for Christmasse day at night As good songs no doubt as our Wassallers or the Whitney singers tone upon those antient Festivals His fancy sure could not be very high where the subject and reward was but a spice boul but it took excellently and that 's enough Don could doe no more and he that wrote in contempt of minor Poets thus in that Elegy You might safely swear This verse they wrote in wine and this in heer Very critically observ'd and yet to see the fate of the times some like him and some doe not some cry hey for Garzinton and some cry hey for Hâ—rsâ—path E'en as they like ' quoth the good fellow when he kis'd his Cow The Villagers could not guesse the cause of the two Students wonderfull change I can tell you of a stranger Metamorphosis and of a Knight and an old one who by his yeares was fitter for the grave than a Lady Who notwithstanding the silver Items on each side his face and argont pendents of his chin was resolved to stumble in at the Lover hole before he fell into the pit and so passionately pursued his affection Hercules was not more effeminate when he turn'd Spinster to Cozen Omphale that he shifted his Velvâ—t Truncks which was his customary wearing and habited All-a-mode in the long slopps became a Monsieur of St Thomas Gresham O strange Exchangeâ— Then he cut off his reverend beard which on Cato's face would have countenanced a rattle and smoothed his cheeks which â—he wind in fifty yeares had never kiss'd and with a blaâ—â—-lead combe chang'd the colour of those haires
bad led for the Don in an old wide chamber The uneasines of his bed was nothing to a Heros that had made the ground his Pavillion The Emperors of Asia ly on quilts upon the ground our Don lies upon the ground abed Feathers effeminate and soft Flocks suffocate bedcoards and boards are the best flesh-firmers Consolidating and Contabulating his Body of Errantry into a gumme and moving Mummia which was first made of the Mauritanian Knight-Errants and thence deriv'd to the Spaniards The Hostesse and her daughter anointed him all over c. The Asturian held the Candle A fit servant to hold it to the Devill By the benefit of this light they saw Monstrum horrendum ingens cuique est Vn'auris Adempta These Maukins were not so modest as the good Lady Prioresse when the search was made amongst her Nunns for one who had under that disguise made the handsomest amongst them horribly forswear her selfe And at the last comming to the person indeed who was the wicked cause of the breach of her vow when I say they came to close and hot-hunt even to Astianax to the privy search notwithstanding that his ti'd up Astianax was so fierce like a muzz'led dog at the sight of the beauties and fellow searchers that he struck Madam Prioresses spectacles off her nose yet I say the grave Matron and her faire assistants did not like these impudent heildings stare upon the violation of the Conventicle but with great care laid their hands to their eyes and through the crevises only of their fingers saw to their great griefe how rash and inconsiderate such vowes are upon better meditation and second thoughts But here was no such incouragements yet they did Hog-grease his body and smil'd and twitter'd at the bumps in his flesh which was like a bruised Pig but not so white splotch'd all over or like a mouldy Cheese where three parts are blew and vinnow'd or like a musty pye The Hils and Dales in his body wasted her spike-nard extreamly Indeed he was more fit to have been delivered over to a plaâ—terer who with a shovell or two of mortar and a trowell would have daub'd up the gaps and Cosmas of his dilapidated Carkasse that done to a Carpenter to have new planckt him his muscles were so extended and contunded that he was not Corpus mobile after that to the joyner with him to shave and smooth the knobs made by the Yanguesian Rockers and after that a Mason and other Tradesmen for he reparation of the Oeconomie of his whole body which was all out of order both Timber and Stone-work It may very well be said my Hostesse daughter for I have dream'd that I sell from a Tower and could never come to the ground A Tower with Pinacles I believe and there shee held for shee fell upward This slut recites the dreame false and in her owne person when it was her Amorosos the Curate of the Parish who being often in hopes and sometimes gratified with a nights lodging dream'd that he fell into a Well where he went down and he went down and down and still downe but he could never come to the bottom which afright awakened him and upon the next motion he moraliz'd his Fable of the Well and found himselfe in puteo Sans Fund Her Dreame as it is in the Arabian Copy was of catching at the Pinnacle Pinnacle after Pinnacle as people that are drowning doe any thing they can lay hold of Know then sister that a Knight-Errant is c. Mâ—ntornes is the Monster of this Castle which I marvell the Don did not though naked assault as Hercules did any living thing when he run mad in his shirt dipt in the blood of Nessus She was a more rare sight then we exhibit at Bartholmew Faire take in to help it the reaking sweaty Rouncifolds of Py-Corner too yet this Beast Sancho cals sister perchance both of a litter shee was a sow of the largest breed if you look upon her paps and if Circe had lived in her time she would have us'd no other Incantation for the Metamorphosis of men into swine then the stroakings of her dugs which would yield after she had taken the rennet of a brimming as much as a Dutch Cow Upward she was Elephant in head and ears but not so docile not so wise as that Creature nor so serviceable for then Don Quixot would have absolutely renouncd Dulcinea and tooke no other Lady then this who could carry Castles upon her back as fast as he could take them Her face was flat and very much like an Owles if not more Oulebie and her Nose adunck like an overgrown Eagles beake her voice and that melodious birds much alike Her Belly of a capacity for a Cellar two Stands of Ale might find room therein and a century of spickets yet this younger sister to her at Heidelberg is enamor'd with the name of Knight-Errant and desires to know more of his nature which Sancho describes so villanously as if he suspected the Dons inclinations and intended if their bellies did not deny the Banes to joyne issues with her himselfe yet take the Description 't will serve for Future times as well as these A Knight-Errant is as you see a Creature bruised basted swadled greased bed-rid and fit to be sent to Madrid to the house of Bethelem Yet whom thou seest thus vile to night To morrow is a Prince or some such wight Sitting up in his bed as well as he could he took his Hostesse by the band and said The Hostesse having suppled his joints that he is able to sit up Gratefull and Gracefull man as she made him the Lard of Mancha or the Liquor'd Knight greases his fat sowe that is gives her the oyle of Mancha Courtly stuff for hers of the dripping pan And Inde toro loquitur gravis ursus ab alto Most gracious Lady so y' have the Laird Of Mancha for no cost of oyles you have spar'd Before I was illustrious but your kinde And gentle hands have made me so behind Lend me your daughters hand ' I de handle her Ah girle art thou a match fit for a Chandler If my hard hearted Queen should vamp to Charon A Boat for her a Chariot for thee Faire-one Now by m'e anointed Flesh and Bodies glew Such Aromatick aires there are but few I 'le stick my Dear to thee and cling withall As fast as e'r Tantoblin to a wall This said with emphasis as much as his collected Spirits would give leave with patheticall lookes now upon the mother then the daughter then Maritornes Our butter'd Westphalia gave Sancho order to informe them further of his Worth Country and undertakings and looking for no applause to his Oration he slid into his bed like a hogshead downe a soap'd ladder His bed was full of holes so that the Flocks broke through the breaches and stuck all about his fulsome and unguentous Body in such numbers that he suspected himselfe to be infected with
in the most authentick and emphaticall word they have super naculum amongst these it is an undeniable principle that vita consist it in Humido and a drive soule quatenus talis cannot last The intrinsecall radicall moysture must be supplied recruited and replenished with the extrinsecall liquids that is exempli gratid in the morning with a sphericall Tost in a pot of Ale of good capacity that it may not be resisted but force passage and break through all obstructions Before dinner again refresh your Lamp for it is alwaies wasting with the generous oyle of Sack nitty roapy and razy at dinner with the same unlesse for varieties sake you have an auxiliary and lusty glasse or two of Vine de France after dinner for you must not have too long intermissions to your Sack againe Typice Topice and Tropice By the constant and quotidian succours you provide against the conflagration of the Microcosme which like that of the greater magnitude must and will unlesse these provident rules prevent it dye of a burning Fevour Wherefore like prudent smiths have by your Forge the troffe of water continually and learn your quantities for pidling draughts will not doe it parvaeque Aspergine lymphae Grandior exurgit laesus que irascitur Ignis According to the capacity of your vessell the dilatation of the veines which if they be large and full plainly indicates that a brave flame which is alwaies extending it selfe and enlarging his narrow quarters plaies in the Azure Channell no small services nor misers glasses will doe the businesse here nor Pimplico's discharg'd to the round inthe middle but a thorough and totall exhausting draining and swooping the whole vessell were it as we say to the bottome a mile According to the example of our friend Bytias in Virgil Ille impiger hausit Spumantem pateram pleno se proluit auro And because I am indebted to you a Translation I shall clap both the pieces of verses of two severall Authors agreeing so well in the matter into one Epigram A little water doth incense the fier Drinke deeper boy and see you fiâ—'t up higher Somewhat at top is best when the briske wine Swims lâ—ke a Coronet round the brims 't is fine Bitias beginne thy plentifull Carouse And we as thee our selves in Sack will sowce Eâ—contra the adverse party which are sober fellowes the Brethren of the Fange that would have all conveyances dispatch'd the old way by Indent of the Tooth the Marriotae Idiotae Lytherani Stubbingenses VVoodenses Cannibals and Lycaones such as have the Woolf or Dogge in their stomacks Crosse-byters Crosse-sitters Taylors Gentle Crafts-man Smiths and all manner of Antelucan Labourers who make provision for the flesh make the flesh their provision These lay down for their Axiomâ— and Dogmata Tempus edax rerum eat at all times Totos ponit apros Be not ashamed to have a stomack like a Swine ede lude live to eat and play for meat Cum morte summa voluptas There is no happinesse to the Grave who is alwaies devouring never satisfied eating even these great eaters too Besides they strengthen themselves with varieties of learned precepts such as Animal propter convivia natum Homines fruges consumere naâ—i For nought but to be eat is borne the Creature Oves and Boves must be slaine Man 's the Eater Then consider rationally and naturall-Philosopher-like consider and compute the many parts joynts sinews atteries veines bones skins parts similar dissimilar Homogeneous Heterogeneous spermatick sanguinary muscular gutturall dentall mandibular c. which are all to be maintained out of this kitchin-natural the stomack by the providore the mouth who would think that any Shambles Poultreys Newgate-Markets Cheapesides Eastcheapes Faires Festivals Saturnals Jubilees are able to satisfie the severall Interests of so many Ravenous expectants much more when this Macrocâ—sme is full of Microcosmes and every one the least Infant in the universality of men hath as much to maintaine as the greatest Gyant in the World Wherefore Saturn the very Lunâ—ford of the Deities shew'd you what to doe rather then starve marry eat thine owne Children 't is the next way to make a wise child to teach him to know his Father as well as if he were in him Lycaon followed that course of dyet and ever since it hath been practised Homo homini Lupus we may eat one another till there is but one man left and so the World may end as it began When Sancho heard these words he began to weep with the greatest Compassion of the World and said unto him Sr c. Nos patriam sugimus Dulcia linquimus arva Have not I left for thee the Onyon Beds Scallions and Garlike which hath stronger heads Then any yet we met and more then these What is more strong my Mary Gutierez Wife of my Bosome Sancho Pancha's wealth Who covetous foole have ta'n a course of stealth May bring me to the Rope not Onyon Ropes But such as at one swing drown Care and Hopes O had you heard our Curate you 'd not snatch At dangers thus he taught harme watch harme catch And you e'r since the adventure of the Windmill Run headlong on and will or make or find-ill The Smith-Field Gyants laid you in a zound And now a Gyant of the eare y' have found For we see nothing but a rustling noise Good Sr forbeare to search into the cause For if you should doe otherwise then well As gold â— Argent you doe pray who shall tell Thinke you that I am worthy to relate The manner of the Combate and your Fate Who will believe A Knight that liv'd by applause Vnfortunate should perish by a noise Who will believe when wrote in books we find A head of Windmils ruin'd by a Wind Who will believe when on the earth y' are found That such an Eare-lesse Knight should dye o' th' sound No Sr let Sancho Counsell do you kepâ— VVe have been soundly beat let 's now sound sleep't And if our dreams are full of such mad whimsies Let 's fight in sleep but waking let our Limbs-ly Sancho tied his Asses Halter to both Rosinantes legs Dolus an virtus quis in Hoste requirat Sancho found a politick and strong Remora for the Knights speed and what Prayers Preachments and teares could not obtaine from the Master-Fool he got by the Asse his servant unto whom he had girt Rosinante so straight that he was not sui Iuris for he was Asse-Tedder'd and in potestate Halterius The Don presently smels out the businesse an Incantation upon the Horse for want of nailing his old shooes at the door of his house when he came forth or because nor the old Woman nor the Barber nor his Neece nor the Curate design'd him the security of an old shooe after him Little thought the Don that Muniatâ—n Freston rode upon the Ass by him and that Rosinante was becalm'd not for want of winde but by too much Cable Rope Here
which at first was bound for Pence and cannot get out under paiment of Pounds the expence of the Prison and the Keepers Fees and Rent-money for the liberty of the Rules without Rule extending beyond the Libertie of the People even to Constantinople where those that live under the Turk are more kindly us'd then those that live under Jewes at home mercilesse Jaylers and hungry Wardens who fleece the sheep brought to their Pounds worse then a Wolf a Lamb. But Gines after his Captivity ended for he did Passe a Jew in slavery never out a whole seven years together so that he reckons his life by the Iustra of his Imprisonments the first five of his Innocency and Infancy going for nothing so that he hath plai'd at fives excellently well and his Quinquatria of once every fifth year in the Gallies or some place of like eminence except before excepted render him according to the Spanish and his own account trigesimo aetatis which if he had been guilty of so many crimes in England would have been Gregorian which is a just Account indeed but very killing The Commissarie held up his rod to strike Molops our insulting Officer is incens'd the Tyranny of such Superiors is intolerable and when the State hath taken the Will-liberty of his hands and feet from him these will deprive him of his naturall freedome if it were possible they would muzle his mouth but Gines is mumm'd presently he saw it was but a Word and a Blow and it was better and more selfe-preservingly done to leave him to the Sarcasmes of his Book then by a shoulder-experience to have learnâ—d how to write a literall invective against him But see the Valour of these Brutes not much unlike the victory of Aeneas and a fellow-Deity to boot upon a simple woman as Dido is pleased to call her selfe though she doubled I believe with one of those Deities Egregiam vero lâ—udem spolia ampla tulist is Tuque puerque tuus magnum memorabile nomen Una dolo Diâ—ûm si faemina victa duorum Which for the honour of â—ines and the perpetuall stigma of such Barbarous Custodes let it speak English thus What glory may be in the Victory found If a loose Devill beat a Prisoner bound It seemes to me a rigorous manner of proceeding to make slaves of them whom God and Nature hath made free How farre this freedome or exemption from punishment is disputable tenable or otherwise hath not by any Defenders of the Liberty been yet shewne For Don Quixot who seemes at the instant very much to Patronize the cause of these contra Legem Naturae enthralled doth at other times very highly tyrannize and gave Sancho his friend Sancho Townes-borne Children and of the better Face of equall sufferings but for doing the work of Nature I meane not that of Disenteration but of laughing such a blow upon his free-borne shoulders that if he had not been a laughing-stock indeed the blowes had confounded him but here he is for freedome and anon for Distance Observance Reverence However the Theme was sweet and the Rhetorick pleasing and findes more Beleevers then experienc'd souldiers and therefore Don Quixot's Oration was received as Caesars at the passe of Rubicon when his speech against the insulting covetous Faith-breaking Senate was applauded by the whole Army and the Countries where he came crying out Downe with the Senate downe with them Long live the people of Rome and the Liberties of the Commons all this while crying down that Authority and not knowing what would succeed or whether uni Caesari multos Marios whether Q. Elizabeths or Maries dayes were better which is worst to endure Fire or Sequestration Goe on the way good Sir and settle the Bason right on your head What touch our Helmet touch it with so high indignity as to call it a Bason 'T is a Defiance which presently amounted to a Tournament a Tournament to an Over-turne that to a Dismount which happened upon the first Barriers where low lies the Commiâ—â—arie and Don Quixot rides like Iupiter liberator guilty of a Rescue and Sancho Paâ—ca who all this time through feare of the Guard Lawlesse and Witlesse suspecting Victory that she would play the Jade and not keep the same side still was auxiliary to the slaves and the fettery Hand-Cuffs of Gines Passamont and all his Iron-work lopp'd off and the Cord of Amity and Friendship of his Fellowes broken they all as now in Duty they stood loose took part with their Rescuer or Restitutor Qnixot and so pelted the guard that they had very hard pay for their Convoy and glad to retreat they left the Prisoners to Don Quixot Master of the Field and Lord of Six which he counted a Sexcenturio And imagining himselfe Generalissimo he thus makes his Oration to his new-form'd Army Don Quixot's Oration to the Slaves Redeemed Quirites Gentilemen Souldiers all And fellow Souldiers too such I you call Such is your Generals meeknesse Free-borne Blades And made Free-Blades by Me from hungry Trades Tugging at Oares or digging in the Mines For wealth and Oare he ne'r enjoyes that findes Made capable to feed your selves not eat The pittances of Madam Garrupes meat Dry'd Eeles and th' Eeles skins for digestion Poore Iohn and what that is 's a question Stock-fish and Haberdine and splitted Hakes Dry'd Sprats Cockles Dog-fish and Sun-dry'd Cakes What is that thing your Emperor shall aske What is it that you 'll think too great a taske Methinks I heare Gines Passamont require Where my commands will be through Water Fire Or over Mountains or down steepy Rocks Or if againe we shall binde on these Locks From whence your power hath newly loos'd us wa Shall be more proud of such Captivity Then any freedome of our owne 'T is so Once more then on your Necks these Laces throw Once more in Chains but never after this You must be Pilgrims to my Queen of blisse Dulcinea of Toboso Lady bright Bright as the Stars black-mantled all in night Her and Toboso's Pallace having found Humble your selves and click your Chains to th' ground Tell her you are Don Quixots Freed-men tell That he hath ransom'd you from death and Holl From Furies and things worse tormentative Devills incarnate that you are alive It is the Guerdon of his Armes and Lance Which Masters all when it doth once advance Say you besides with a most signall grace Thus spake the Knight of the Ill-favour'd Face And kissing thrice the ground rise from the place Gines Passamont answered for all the rest sayingâ— Gines Passamont's Reply to his Emperour Then Passamont i' th' name of all the rest Bowing his body as became him best Honour'd Releaser said Command what is Fecible and not impossibilities How canwe all in such procession go The Holy Brothers ranging to and fro And all wayes laid to take us for th' escape And Hues and Cries in every Village gape Not that I Lightning or fell Thunder feare
the promotion of a Barber Surgeon to a Doctor Things done by wiser men then Don Quixot they will confer their Plaster-boxes and poor Sancho and thy selfe shall no longer be tied to that poor refuge of Pisse and Oaken leaves Thou must wit that desire of finding the Madman alone brings me not into these parts so much As for that he meant to turne Mad man himselfe Now whether a man may abdicate his reason renounce his understanding for a time and discover if not discover'd no reasonable Acts whereby a man should not undifference him from a Beast and live and enjoy himselfe in the sensitive part alone is a hard matter to determine and harder to doe To counterseit Madnesse is ordinary and to be really so more Bedlam affords you these the streets if not better places the other After Death the Pythagoreans averr'd a transmigration of Soules into new Bodies and oftentimes entred the Soule of a Philosopher into a Goose shifted Alexanders gallant Spirit into a Dottrell and such like changes as Lucian or such abusive Forges had a fancy to fashion 'um in But these are fantasticall conceits our Don is reall he will put off the Man and put on the Beast only reserve to himselfe the benefit of Speech which whether man have or not have he cannot be said to be out of his Senses for the matter Strong passions left too long unsuppress'd may overthrow the temper of the braine and totally subvert the rationall parts and some paisions counterfeited long whether of griefe or joy have so alter'd the personaters that players themselves who are most usually in such employments have been forc'd to fly to Physick for cure of the disaffection which such high penn'd humours and too passionately and sensibly represented have occasion'd I have knowne my selfe a Tyrant comming from the Scene not able to reduce himselfe into the knowledge of himselfe till Sack made him which was his present Physick forget he was an Emperour and renew'd all his old acquaintance to him and it is not out of most mens observation that one most admirable Mimicke in our late Stage so lively and corporally personated a Changeling that he could never compose his Face to the figure it had before he undertook that part The Knight of the Ill-favour'd Face had much done to his hand in his intended Emigration for counterfeiting there was not much need if hunger did not make a revocation of his little wits at any time For Crabs Hawes Acornes Berries agreeing naturally with his complexion and embetter'd his Face to all purposes I doe believe it 't was possible for the Don for a certaine time to lose his Wits and to revoke so much as he parted withall and be not a grain the wiser at their returne Have I not told thee already saith Don Quixot that I mean to follow Amadis by playing the despaired Wood and Mad man The example of Amadis is very autorative with our Don but why he should rather labour to imitate him in this fit of Madnesse then-in any other of his magnanimous Acts is very strange no it is not so strange but a common thing When did you see a wise example followed by many or any Let it alone 't is grave stanch and singular Thin are the appearances at Gresham Colledge when the Bearegarden the Cock pit is thrung'd with Company If Bartholmew Faire should last a whole year not Pigs not Puppet playes would ever be surfeited of The wenches could live and dye with Jack-pudding what flocking of good wives and Pickpockets to a Ballad or if at any time a Mad man have broke his custody he shall have more followers then pittiers Our Don is of this number who cannot read of a mad prank buâ— he must augment the sport and rather then hee 'l have no part in the Stage hee 'l play the mad man I believe quoth Sancho the Knights which performed the like pennance had some reason for their austerities c. Insanio cum ratione To play is allowable quoth Sancho I have lost my Asse for me to be beside my selfe were a pardonable thing But for you who have lost nothing but the way home and your wits why should you be madder yet who have a Mistresse Lady Queen what doe you call 'um that is secure of her honour whom no Prince Knight Inchanter Moor nor the Devill himselfe would come neer Why should you run mad unlesse that 't is your good hap to have such a singular piece that you need never be jealous never keep a spie never use Italian gimcrack or any restraint upon and doe you therefore surfeit of happinesse and are mad because you have no cause to be so Amadis had a powting slut a sullen huzzy he should have curried her Coat and ne'r run mad for it Our Mary Gutierez when shee was in the Mubbleâ—ubles doe you thinke I was mad for it no no I took my Asse O that I could doe so now and went to the next good Town and let it Jubble out as it Mubbled in Orlando indeed had some reason to be mad Angelica made him horne mad now here 's some cause But you are an obstinate Mad man and will be Mad because you will be so Dulcinea del Tobosâ— having not given you the least occasion The wit is in waxing mad without a cause Herein the Don is paradoxicall and singular and will make himselfe the first Inventer de Arte Amentandi though he gaine but few followers now by frequent private practises upon himselfe as by being quarter Mad halfe Mad and three quarters Mad upon severall experiments is the full Midsommer Moon madnesse to be attain'd unto No doubt he had pass'd the three first tryals and was very neer his perfection The first quarter it is totty freekish the second phantasticall melancholy and suspitious the third quarrelsome and injurious and then pure phreneticall Our Knight is now in the increase he hath but a wild dispatch or two to Toboso and you shall have him in the full and then he 's for the King of Spaine and Dulcinea del Toboso For he that shall heare you name a Barbers Bason Mambrino's Helmet Sancho in this censure discovereth his Masters aptnesse and preparednesse for the incounter of Pennance and that he was a Knight of so great curiosity that he went the most appointed and disappointed unto any adventure of any Knight in the World being at that time the only Knight-mark of the East and West and alone acted in the empty Theatre of the World Captaine Iones was many years since downe in the Annals and now to see when his head should be busie composing Love-letters to Dulcinea his Heroick braines are working where he may finde some wand'ring Tinker to mend that scarre of the broken Helmet But dull-pate his man upon the strength of sensitive observations cannot be perswaded out of his errour that it was a Bason O curvae in Terras animae his Soule was as disordered
Twice won by my Lord once and once by me Had it been so it cann't a Pannell be Appeale unto the Iudges let 't be tri'd here If iâ— a Pannell be 't will shame the Rider Nay when a Iury shall empanell'd be Both Iudge and Iury ' l give it unto me CHAP. XVIII 'T is put to votes and as they use to goe Saddle and Pannell have both I and No. The major part for Saddle did appeare And Helmet contra Bason got it cleer Whereat a Souldier though it were the sence O' th' house not his took villanous offence To see men judge so strangely But Don Quizzot Flew on the man and soundly curried his coat Then unto sides they fell in this curst riot Vntill the Don that made the warr made quiet By a pretended sight of Agramants Translated to the Inne he dis-inchants The present tumult his feigned relation Of higher madnesse allaies true passion But when the Trooper serv'd him with his Writ For rescuing slaves it was not then his wit Would serve the turne alas in sober sadnesse His plea unto the scroll was reall madnesse TEXT OVR Barber speaking to the other Barber said Sr Barber c. It is not only not a Barbers Bason but so farre from being one as white from black How easily doth a brother rooke a brother I mean the craftie brother the weaker it is possible to perswade a credulous cockscombe having an opinion first of the brothers fidelity out of his very faith sence and reason and create a beliefe in him that black is white and white black all his understanding being resign'd to his opinion and conceit of his confident he sees with his eyes heares with his eares and speaks with his tongue what blowes arguments convictions cannot doe that captivated affection presently yields to and a strong presumption that such and such were no cheats hath cozened all that presum'd them so Aruspex aruspicem dum videt ridet is true of subtle sirs long practisers in the art who make themselves sport at others follies and their own delusions But our Barber on the place is chiauz'd a very Pigeon a younger brother and is caughd like a young Jack Daw which way soever his Senior in the profession led him Fratrum quoque gratia rara est One Barber wipes anothers nose 'T is true let it be rime or prose All of them laugh'd very heartily to see Don Ferdinand goe up and downe gathering of suffrages It seems the votes were not vivd voce but in aurem so that the Collector not being sworne it was possible the matter went as it pleas'd his Lordship And in most popular assemblies the businesse is much carryed on like this of the Pannell and the Bason where the most potent and affected persons whisper their owne votes into others eares rather then take or aske theirs So that the proposition is not at a placet doth it seem good so but Place bit it shall be so Get thee a gratious and a popular man Thy cause shall prosper be it what it can Let me never enjoy a place in Heaven quoth the Barber The Barbers protestation will not be receiv'd though he desires the forfeiture of Heaven a small matter in comparison of a Pannell upon the failer of it But certainly he would not have made such an imprecation if he belâ—eved there were any other Poles then those his Basons hung on or that the teeth on his strings should ever returne to the heads againe from whence he pull'd them But his protestation is plaine in Foro soli that he is cozen'd of his Bason which will never come to his Forum Poli whereby he gives a vale to the Law as if the Law were in fault when he should have been angry with the suffragants or at least hired them each man a dog and a bell to lead 'um home whose eyes were so bad they could not distinguish a Bason from a Helmet or a Pannell from a Saddle Don Quixot spoke in this manner Here is now no more to be done let very one take up his owne goods c. Those he meanes which his friends had voted him and so omnia benè He is satisfied they are his own though he knew he stole them How gratefull and how pious and above all how carefull he is against any review of the verdict desiring Peters blâ—ssing though he had but newly robb'd Paul So cunningly or prophanely rather he attributes all his successes to Heaven though he went to the Devill for the purchase On the other side the male-content Barber goes grumbling away with his Might overcomes Right cries out of bribery partiality and friends in Court. Both calling upon Peter the one for a vengeance the other for a benediction In the midst of this Chaos and confusion of things Don Quixot began to imagine that he was plunged in the discord of Knight Agramants Campe. Facibus extinguis faces He holds the Sunne to the Candle cries fire fire and fetches all the company from a Bonefire sounds a Trumpet and brings all the people out of the Church Some new high and unheard of lye presently silâ—nceth a known truth as a Romance a true story The news of a great Gyant the talk of Taxes a report of forreign warre all differences at home The trick of amuzing is none of the worst in the pack The Don's Policy is not to be slighted who to avoid his owne and his friends instant confusion proclaimes a worse comming which while every one desires to heare and feares will ensue the private constellation fals and every one is providing against the publick not a Cobler nor a weaver but upon such an alarum shall be as wise as Agramant and Sobrino But the enemy of concord and adversary of peace c. Here the Don is worse put to it who may justifie his suppos'd Inchantments to be true if the Devill were his enemy as the Text hints But as our english Proverbe hath it the Devill on'd him a shame and though his Ill-favour'd face was not easily to be intincted with a blush whereby the Officer might have discovered his guilt yet the description in his paper agreeing to those of his favour brought him very neer within the compasse of another English Proverbe VVhat evasion will he find against this warrant for rescuing the slaves This is the worst inchantment that came yet For the King and the holy Brotherhood They two together-are too strong fora Knight-Errant I fear Don Quixot laug'd to hear them speak so idle c. servetur ad Imum Quod pede processit It was high time to speak idler then they or they had done their businesse He doth now more then act Ieronymo 't is the best way to be out of his wits stark mad be a Bedlam rather then a Bandetti be above or below the Law that he may not come under the lash He tels them therefore their VVrit is false 't is error personae not directed to attach a
friend to the Millener and loves no powder but that of the Gunn To whom Don Quixot said good Ladies doe not weep It was a needlesse prohibition for they did but say they wept teares of laughter they had shed many upon him and now if any were visible they proceeded from the same cause Nay two of these mourners when the Don roar'd and made out-cries able to have pierc'd the heart of a Savage were at laugh and lye downe and made sport with his miseries Ploratur lachrymis amissa pecunia veris. Had the Knight made an escape and avoided the score then they would have out-houled an Irish VVoolfe but secure of the reckoning the joyfull departure of their suspected guest rais'd this merry showre in their eyes His happy journy from them 't is believed they heartily wish'd but not a Bead dropt for his returne Goe and welcome a Spanish Proverbe for an indigent Traveller and we have as good Your room is better then your company The Don was though many times insolvent alwaies thankfull and would know the house againe a Complement that might have been spar'd unlesse he came with his temporall and spirituall stewards the Lord Ferdinand and the Curate The Inne-keeper came also and gave the Curate certaine Papers The drawers curtesie to the Prince was more gentile though it were but a paper of Sugar but if mine Host were hide-bound it was excusable for since Don Quixot frequented the house he was never without swaths fillers plaisters and armestals so that he lookt more like a brother of some Hosptall then the keeper of an Inne It was no doubt no small comfort to him to see the Author of his manifold misfortunes thus ingloriously riding from his house and so hamper'd that it was impossible for him to play any more mad pranks The Blanket and the Cage being the sweet revenges for Sancho's and his masters injuries Truly brother I am better acquainted with books of Chivalry then Villapandas Logick This Canon of Toledo was rather for Toledo blades and the Canon of the Field then Church without question preferr'd for writing or reading Romances rather then Postils to the Countesse his Patronesse which services find sooner rewards then those of the Service-Book This fellow was never counted a meer scholar never so bookish as to break his rest or his braines about his study Pleasant discourses pleas'd better then school divinity and a Legend then a Homily he hath attain'd to the top of his desires and scarce saluted Iack Seton or Ramus nor his owne Villapanda Swarez and Vasquez are names he never heard of He leap'd over Logick and the Metaphysicks he never came neer however it was his good chance that he prov'd a Preacher though no Scholar yet for the books he was most conversant in his accounts are very good and argues a great proficiency having proceeded from Garagantua to Gusman and now as the crowne of all ending in Quixot Mr Barber you should take heed how you speak for all consists not in trimming of Beards c. Sancho begins to be undeceived and the imposturage will no longer last nothing is more violent then abus'd simplicity when it once discovers the cheat True Sancho Beards are but bushes and good wine needs none cofeners goe mask'd and in Visards But old time will pluck off those disguises and render every thing in its own likenesse He is very pressing upon Mr Curate also who had a main hand in these perswasions and by whose authority and credit the whole design was brought about and leaves the matter to his Conscience which he hopes will perplex him one day as much as his delusions have confounded them and for his confederate the Barber the forge of this Inchantment he wishes the next generation may be Eunuchs that there may not be a Beard to turne up or a good face to wash as long as the world stood So indignely did Sancho take these affronts that in despight to the Curate he was resolv'd to splay his sows at his return that he might never have tithe in kind any more Verily Mr Curate I doe find by experience that bookes of Chivalry are very prejudiciall to well govern'd Common-wealths Mr Canon in this discourse seems to weaken the credit and use of writings of this nature and to prefer and commend Aesops Fables and Alciats Emblems wherein the Morall may be for instruction though the story be of a Cock and a Bull but it is not unknown that this age hath more abounded with Romances then any other upon what reason is not hard to conjecture and yet no man dare say but here is a well govern'd Common-wealth but what prejudice I pray when the subjects are known to be fabulous and figments no man's faith is beguiled nor any perswaded to believe them as a truth rather on the contrary where the minds of the vulgar are not busied in some such pleasant arguments they fall upon matters which lesse concerne them and become troublesome Judges of the State and Church wherein they live wherefore it hath been accounted great policy to divert those mens fancies by licensing Plaies sports and divers recreations from businesses above their capacity and not of common ventilation For want of these chimera's which had no more harm in them then their impossibility reall phantasmes and strong delusions have succeeded and possessed not a few who transported with their owne imaginations doe not write Romances but act them and fill the world with substantiall Tragaedies CHAP. XXI The Canon and the Curate find out waies To make Romances good and write good plaies Such as may edifie such I have seen Of holy subjects and with Psalmes between The Acts of Dives and of Lazarus Of Hester good and great Aâ—asheverus Which now through Poets vanity and sloth Are seen in Puppet plaies or painted cloth The stage reform'd as they say 't is thought on Time may be spent there well as reading Broughton No fooles with Harry Codpieces appeare Nor Souldiers suffered in their parts to sweare No Lady vitiated o' th' stage before us But let Susanna's bathing be by Chorus And so alike for bookes let nought be written That may give scandall and is unbefitting But as slie Sancho politiquely found His master to be loose i' th' hilts though bound So let the matter of the books and stage Be cleanly kept as was Don Quixot's Cage TEXT BOth the Authors that compose them and Actors that represent them must be such as they be for to please the peoples humours It was an old one and before this criticall observation said Populo ut placerent quas fecisset fabulas Nay in their Amphitheatricall gladiatures the lives of captives lay at the mercy of the Vulgar verso pollice vulgi Quemlibet occidunt populariter And although the only Laureat of our stage having compos'd a Play of excellent worth but not of equall applause fell downe upon his knees and gave thanks that he had transcended the capacity