be both wayward and full of affections which though his bodie bee but small yet he hath a great heart and is altogether inclined to euill and the more hee waxeth in reason by yeares the more he groweth proude froward wilfull vnruly and disobedient If this sparkle bee suffered to increase it will rage ouer and burne down the whole house For we are changed and become good not by birth but by education For like as planting and carefulnesse hath great power in all growing things euen so hath Education greater vertue and strength yea and better fruit in the diligent bringing vp of children Therefore parents must bee warie and circumspect that they neuer smile or laugh at any words or deedes of their children done lewdly vnhonestly naughtily wantonly or shamefully nor to kisse or commend them for so doing For children will commonly accustome themselues vnto such things as they shal see and perceiue to bee pleasing and delightfull to their father and mother Therefore they must correct and sharply reproue their children for saying or doing ill and make it knowne vnto them that they be neither wel pleased nor contented with their so doing but that it greatlie disliketh them And againe on the other side let them kisse and make much of them whensoeuer they shal see or heare them do any thing that is a signe of goodnesse But such is the fond and too much cockering affection of some parents towards their children that there is more neede in these daies to teach and admonish them not to loue them too much then to perswade them to loue them For Dauids darling was Dauids traytor 2. Sam. 15. all and 18.33 And this is the maner of God and his iust iudgemēt that when any father or mother begins as it were to set their childe or any thing els in the roome of God and so loue the same aboue him which gaue it either to take away the child or the thing or els to take away the parents before they prouoke him too much For as the Ape doth with too much embracings well neere kill her young whelpes so likewise some vndiscreet parents through immoderate loue and ouer-much pampering and cherishing do vtterly spoyle and marre their children Therefore if parents would haue their children liue they must take heede that they loue them not too much for the giuer is displeased when the gift is more esteemed then he Ill bringing vp is a cause of marring many which are of a good towardnesse and wit We may see by experience how that many children of good wit and towardnesse are marred and spoyled for want of good education and so get those vices from their tender yeares which all their life after doe for the most part accompanie them For when parents doe either too much cocker their children or by their lewd example allure them to naughtinesse or neglect due instruction what other thing I pray you can come to passe then which wee see in trees which from the beginning being neglected become crooked and vnfruitfull Contrariwise they that are pruned erected ordered and watered with the hand and cunning of the Husbandman are made straight fertile and fruitfull So that the manner of life education and custome are of great importance to moue to vertue What a great follie is it in parents to toyle themselues and bee occupied in getting riches and to bee nothing carefull for their children for whose sake riches are gotten Assuredly there can none more precious and better heritage bee left vnto children then if they bee well and vertuously brought vp from their tender age and be rightly instructed vnto vertue from their infancie This patrimonie remaineth with them continually nothing at all subiect to the stormes and troubles of fortune But wee see two speciall causes Two things which much hinder good education why some parents doe more negligently prouide that their children be instructed to wit too much cockering and niggardship In cockering mothers do more often offend and especially those which haue but few children These doe like as if some Husband man should refuse to till his field because hee hath but one onely Who could suffer this mans follie and peruersenesse of iudgement Is it not much more to be tilled because it is onely one Yes verely that so the profit and increase of one may recompence the want of many euen so after the same sort wee iudge it to bee the dutie of mothers so much more diligently to bring vp their children by how much they are fewer But wee see what doth let mothers The fewer the children the more diligently to be cared for that they bewel brought vp that they loue their children more dearely then that they can suffer them to be an houre out of their sight but this is cruel loue so to loue their children that they should bee as it were giuen ouer of their mothers vnto all naughtinesse of which peruerse and cruell loue not a fewe shall suffer the iust punishment which with great griefe of minde and with teares shall be compelled to see the vnbrideled wantonnesse and vngratiousnesse of their children vnto which they doe now all too late goe about to prouide a remedie The second cause which hindereth good education On the other side niggardship is oftentimes greater then that parents will bestow the cost Whatsoeuer is spent vpon horse-keepers or horse-breakers fooles minstrels dogs hawkes c. that some thinke well bestowed but if they see any thing to be spēt about instructing their children they thinke all that ill bestowed and are much more carefull that an horse bee well framed to vauting and leaping then that their childe bee well instructed to vertue This inconuenience commeth to the minds of children if they bee not well brought vp that they become seruile and open to all sin and naughtines For if a man leaue his field vntilled hee shall finde it to haue brought forth fearne and thistles and such vnprofitable weedes after the same sort if he shall leaue the wittes of his children vnlooked vnto and vnexercised hee shall be sure to reape most aboundant fruite of wantonnes and vngratiousnes The holie Ghost speaking in the Scriptures of foolish sonnes as that he that begetteth such a one getteth himselfe sorrow and that the father of a foole hath no ioy Prou. 17.21 meaneth it not so much of naturall fooles or idiots and such as are destitute of common reason although it is true that is a lamentable iudgemēt of God and a heauinesse to the parents of such a childe as of wicked children such as either are ignorant in the word or not knowing how to order one right steppe to the kingdome of God or els hauing some knowledge abuse it to maintaine their carnall lusts and appetite For this cause as it would griue parents to haue naturall fooles to their children or such as either in some imperfection of nature are dismembred or deformed and misfigured in the
A GODLIE FORME OF HOVSEHOLDE GOVERNMENT FOR THE ORDERING OF PRIVATE FAMILIES according to the direction of Gods word Whereunto is adioyned in a more particular manner The seuerall duties of the Husband towards his Wife and the Wifes dutie towards her Husband The Parents dutie towards their Children and the Childrens towards their Parents The Masters dutie towards his Seruants and also the Seruants dutie towards their Masters Gathered by R. C. ISIDORE Thou profitest much when thou readest if thou practisest that which thou readest BARNARDE What auaileth it thee to reade often in bookes the holy name of thy Sauiour except thou studie and endeuour to haue godlinesse in thy behauiour CYPRIAN It profiteth a man saith he nothing at all to professe vertue in words and to ouerthrow the trueth in his deeds AT LONDON Printed by Felix Kingston for Thomas Man 1598. TO THE RIGHT WORSHIPFVLL MAISTER ROBERT BVRGAINE OF ROXALL ONE OF her Maiesties Iustices of peace in the Countie of Warwicke to the right Worshipfull Maister Iohn Diue of Ridlington Parke in the Countie of Rutland and to the Worshipfull Maister Edmund Temple of Temple-hall in the Countie of Leicester Esquires as also to their religious and vertuous wiues R. C. wisheth with heart and minde grace from God the father by Iesus Christ and constancie in the trueth of the Gospell to the end and in the end HAuing collected and finished this Treatise ensuing and deuising verie carefully with my selfe to whom I might dedicate the same at length I resolued that none were meeter to vndertake the patronage thereof then some such meetest persons as did alreadie in some good measure practise within their seuerall Charges the seuerall poynts and duties contained therein and so would further prosecute those other necessarie parts which they haue yet in some part pretermitted Wherevpon calling to minde the holy exercises daylie vsed and exercised in all your houses I was moued for two causes to make you all ioyntly Patrones hereof First for that I acknowledge my selfe beholden and indebted vnto you all diuersly since my first acquaintance with you therefore least I should deserue the blame of vnthankefulnesse for benefits receiued I am bold vnder your names to offer to the whole Church of God these my simple collections Secondly for that as you are all ioyned and linked in kindred by reason of mariage so also you are and haue beene a long time inseperably knit in a zealous sincere profession of Gods word and religion And for so much as I may not for many respects accomplish what good I willingly would yet least I should be thought to spend the remainder of my yeres in an idle condition or to hide my tallent in a napkin I haue been no lesse careful then willing to labour otherwaies to doo what I may to glorifie God and profit his Church Neither will these my labours be vtterly vnprofitable if my purpose therein be rightly conferred with the purport of my writings For such Householders as pretend to be great protestants and sound professors of the Gospell may long inough talke of discipline and stil complaine of the want of Church-gouernment but all in vaine and to no purpose vnlesse they will begin this most necessary discipline in reforming their own houses according to the direction handled in this Treatise and so to suffer the holy religion of God to take place amongst their families at home otherwise they shall trauell much and profit little For although there bee neuer so good lawes in Cities neuer so pure order in Churches yet if maisters of families do not practise at home catechising and discipline in their houses and ioyne their helping hands to Magistrates and Ministers they may in trueth but vniustly as many haue done complaine that their children and seruants are disordered and corrupted abroad when in trueth they were disordered and are still corrupted and mard at home And therefore it cannot be neither is it to be hoped for that either the father of his children or the husband of his wife or the maister of his seruants should looke for that obedience that reuerence that faithfulnesse and that dutifulnesse which they of right ought to haue and the other in conscience and of bounden dutie are bound to performe vnlesse they do now at length endeuour to see these orders and duties hereafter mentioned to bee practised within their seueral Households For if Parents and Householders shal performe no further dutie to their children and seruants then to prouide for them meat drinke and apparell and to pay them their wages then Papists Atheists yea Turkes and Infidels do yeelde this dutie as well as they And seeing all men be carefull that their horses and bullocks should haue sufficient fodder and prouender to the end they may haue their labour in lieu and recompence thereof it doth consequently follow that therefore a christian Householder ought to haue ouer his children and seruants a much more christian care then he hath ouer his dumbe insensible beasts that so he may take a singular comfort from the daylie contemplation of their encrease in spirituall graces Oh what a sweete and comfortable thing shall this be to the soule and conscience of such an Householder as when he hath been so diligent and carefull in the trayning and bringing vp of his children and seruants in the obedience and waies of the Lorde that hee may rightly deserue to haue this worthie report commendation giuen vnto him from the mouth and penne of the godly namely that he hath a church in his house that is a company of sound and faithfull Christians such as feare God indeed As the like report was giuen by the Apostle to those godly House-keepers Aquilla and Priscilla his wife Rom. 16.5 1. Cor. 16.19 As also to Philemon Phil. 2. Therefore all Parents and Householders are in the Lorde to be exhorted that they would be carefull to bring vp their children and familie so as they either by some good tokens may see them the children of God and heires of the couenant or at least they may be comforted in their owne consciences notwithstanding their children and seruants for some cause vnknowne to them do refuse their counsell and instruction seeing they to the vttermost of their power and abilitie haue vsed all good meanes to bring them vp well and haue rightly offered them to the Lord. Now if parents and maisters haue iust cause to bewaile and lament when thus trauelling in good education and information they cannot yet see good effects and godly fruites in their children seruants how much more cause of griefe may they haue when they haue vsed and bestowed no labor at all either by themselues or others for them to bring them vp in the nurture and feare of the Lord And yet alasse many will be grieued for the one that will not be any thing mooued for the other Wherefore let all parents and maisters of families know and learne that if
saluation of our brethren bewraying it selfe in the neglect of this dutie to call vpon one another is the cause of this slownesse For the husband hee going first out of the doores saith to his wife make haste and come assoone as you can she comming at her leisure giues the same charge to her seruants dispatch and tarrie not long behind but here is no saying Come let vs goe let vs goe togither if it be once said it is not pursued that it might be performed In going to market and to a feast what earnest calling vpon will there be of one another and it wold seeme strange to behold the household goe deuided it were a thing that would much be marked and euery one that knew vs and whither wee were going it should bee the first question they wold aske vs how chanceth this that you come alone where is your husband your wife or your children why come you not togither So no doubt the dispersed and broken cōming togither of households to the Church is a thing greatly obserued of the Lord God of his Angells which are present at their assemblies 1. Cor. 11.10 it is that which grieueth the rest of the Church and assoone as they see one come in alone they are ready with griefe to aske where are the rest what meaneth this partie to come alone Therefore let all gouernors be perswaded that it is their boūden dutie thus to looke to their families to be sure that they sanctifie the Lords day as wel as thēselues therefore that they not only thus bring them to the publike ministerie but also looke vnto them that they spend the rest of the day in all holy exercises so much as may be examining them in that which they haue heard and causing them to confer about it thēselues to appoint some to reade the scripture vnto them and all of them to sing Psalmes and generally whatsoeuer you haue seen before you ought to doe your selues to call vpon them for the same and to take such order that you be sure they do it And let them be sorie that they haue neglected this duety so long heretofore and thereby haue charged so many sinnes of their household vpon themselues and now at the last in Gods holy feare let thē begin to put this in practise least they doe further prouoke the most patient Lord to their endles destruction And though it be a thing so rare in the world as it is men altogether so vnacquainted with it as they be nay so loathsome tedious to flesh blood that they are afraid once to begin with it yet let the bare cōmandement of God preuaile more with vs to take in hand and to continue in it then all that can bee saide or thought against it should weigh with vs either to keepe vs frō it at the first or afterwards The want of this care in households is the cause of much wickednesse rebellion and disorder in their families cause vs to giue it ouer And that all men might doe it so much the rather let them be assured that the want of this especially is the cause of so many wicked and rebellious children vntrustie and disobedient seruants nay vnfaithfull vnkind wiues euery where euen for that their husbandes their fathers and their masters do not call vpon them to serue God and see them sanctifie the Sabboth It is a common and iust complaint in all places in the mouth of euery man that seruants and children will not bee ruled that they cannot tell where to finde a good seruant they know not whome to trust but they see not the greatest cause of it to be in themselues so go not about to remedie it for whiles they labour not to make their children the sonnes daughters of God by adoption and to bring their seruantes within the household of God that they might be his seruants by grace to make their wiues the chaste spouses of Iesus Christ and so al of thē to serue him the lord iustly punisheth thē that they are disobedient vnto thē For how can they doe duties vnto men if they haue not learned to doe duties vnto God and so of conscience for Gods sake to doe dueties vnto men Nay must not the Lord needs punish them with disobedience against themselues that by their owne experience they might know how grieuous the neglect of his seruice is vnto himselfe when he iustly measureth out vnto them with the same measure that they haue mette vnto him before Obiection And whereas men are readie to imagine and we know it is that which many doe obiect against this that to deale so straightly with their household were the next way to rid themselues of all good seruants and that then they might soone bee master and man them selues Answere They must againe on the contrary vnderstand that it is a great wickednesse in them once to thinke that the Lord should require that of thē which would necessarily driue thē to such inconueniences 1. Tim. 4.8 nay rather they must be assuredly perswaded That godlinesse hath the promises of this life Matt. 6.33 as well as of the life to come and if we first seeke the kingdome of God his righteousnes in our selues and others that all needfull things should be cast vnto vs. Euen as it is sai◠of Abraham Gen. 18.19 I know that he wil command his sonnes his household after him that they keepe the way of the Lord to doe righteousnesse and iudgement that the Lord may bring vpon Abraham that he hath spoken vnto him So that thus to doe is the very high way not to keepe vs from but to bring vs vnto the performance of all the promises if we giue credit vnto him who as he only maketh them in the beginning of meere mercie so must he only accomplish them in the ende by his constant veritie and trueth We confesse indeed if he be an ill seruant this is the readiest way to be rid of him whose roome is better then his company for he thinketh himselfe to be in a prison nay in hell all the while but in the ende hee shall perceiue that he is gone from the way to Heauen vnto hell if the Lord be not more merciful vnto him and why should wee be loth to depart from the seruice of them that haue no care to serue God or can we looke that they should do any faithfull seruice vnto vs that are so vnfaithfull in the seruice of God But as concerning the rest if any bee religious this is the best meane to retaine and keepe them if they be but indifferent this may winne them if they be falling away this may recouer them To haue such good orders in our houses is not the next way to driue away our seruants from vs. for what shall we thinke of all the godly fathers in times past that when they vowed diligently to
to loue his wife as his owne flesh 2. Then to gouern her in all duties that properly concerne the state of marriage in knowledge in wisedome iudgement and iustice Thirdly to dwell with her Fourthly to vse her in all due beneuolence 1. Pet. 13.7 1. Cor. 7.45 honestlie soberly and chastly 1. The wife her dutie is in all reuerence and humilitie to submit and subiect her selfe to her husband in al such duties as properly belong to marriage Secondly therein to be an helpe vnto him according to gods ordinance Thirdly to obey his commandements in all things which hee may commaund by the authoritie of an husband Fourthly and lastly to giue him mutuall beneuolence As for the rest of mutuall duties as they may be all comprehended vnder these so there shall be a fitter occasiō to speake thereof Thirdly wee call this promise of marriage voluntary because it must not come from the lippes alone but from the wel-liking and consent of the heart for if it be onely a verball promise without any wil at all and so meer hypocriticall and dissembled though it bindeth the partie that promiseth to the performance of his promise made before God and man yet if the Parents afterwards shall certainly know this and that there was no will nor vnfained meaning at all in the party neither yet is but rather a loathing and abhorring of his spouse betrothed though hee bee not able to render iust and sufficient cause thereof they maye vpon this occasion either deferre the day of marriage the longer to see if God wil happily change the minde of the partie or vtterly breake and frustrate the promise if all good meanes and occasions hauing been vsed none wil preuaile but that the partie rather groweth woorse and woorse For a Contract beeing a willing and a voluntarie consent there is no cause why the Parents and such as haue authoritie and power in such cases when they shall vndoubtedly knowe that the promise was altogither vnwilling and therefore made in meere hypocrisie and dissimulation neither can bee by tract of time or any other good meanes vsed be bettered but rather waxeth woorse and woorse may not breake and frustrate the same For why did Rebeccaes Parents deny her to Isaack neither would send her with Abrahams seruant to bee married Gen. 24 57.58 before such time as they had asked her consent yea when as they said Wee will call the maide and aske her consent do they not plainely shewe that both the law of Nature and the law of God taught them that this consent was of great moment and absolute necessitie And when the Apostle doth commaund men and women to marrie in the Lorde how can that marriage be in the Lord when the one partie doth not onely not loue but hate the other And how can such two become one flesh lawfully when as there wanteth the vnion and coniunction of the heart the true naturall mother of all marriage duties Wherefore this promise must be in this respect at least willing and voluntarie For albeit it is not necessarie neither yet possible that there should bee such great measure of true holy and sanctified loue at that time as afterward for that groweth by little and little according to the blessing of God and the faithfull performance of other duties afterward euen to their liues end yet if it bee voluntarie and vnfained it is enough and fully sufficient to make a true contract in the Lord. So as no man ought to separate those whom God hath thus ioyned Secondly wee call it voluntarie in respect of constraint and compulsion contrarie to a free consent for if eyther partie bee vrged constrained or compelled by great feare of their Parents or others by threatning of losse of preferment of health of limme of life or of any such other like or by any other violent manner of dealing whatsoeuer to yeeld their promise cleane contrarie to the motion of good liking of their hearts This kinde of promise as it doth not binde the partie to keepe it so it ought to bee frustrated and broken by the Parents themselues or by such maisters as may and ought to commaund and rule them in such cases If this were not so how could the parties keepe the commaundements of God giuing them direction whom to marrie First that they should marrie onely in the Lord. Againe that they should not bee vnequally yoked with the infidels neither whereof they can keepe if their parents might compell them or Contract marrie It becommeth rather the Parents to perswade their children by all good meanes to yeelde their consent rather then to drawe them by wicked sleight and cunning drunkennesse or any other wicked and violent meanes For as that is not to marrie in the Lord so all such forced Contracts may bee broken and frustrated by the Magistrate who is Gods Lieutenant to redresse such intollerable enormities among the societies of men For if Parents may deny marriage to such as haue not onely by force and violence obtained the word and body of their childe much more may the Magistrate denie marriage where onely a verball promise hath beene gotten by violent compulsion and so for these causes and in this sence and meaning alone wee conclude that Contract must bee voluntarie Fourthly it must bee a mutuall promise that is either partie must make it to other not the man onely nor the woman onely but both the man and the woman though decencie and order require the man to doo it first and then the woman because hee is her head and shee his glorie and ought to leade and guide her in all things wherein the Lorde hath put a preheminence For if this promise bee not mutually made of them both but of one alone it is no true and perfect Contract And therefore may bee broken by Parentes and such as haue authoritie heerein because the partie vnpromising is not bound by word nor deede but is free insomuch that such a Contract is rather so termed then for that it is any true Contract indeede But if it bee mutuall then it doth mutually and inuiolably binde both so that in this regard neither Parent Magistrate nor any other can or ought to breake it For this beeing fully performed and accomplished is one principall cause of making two one flesh in such sort as it is written Therefore shall man leaue his father and mother and shall bee ioyned to his wife and they two shall bee one flesh c. Genes 2.24 Also that the man hath not power ouer his owne body nor the woman ouer hers and so to bee short hence ariseth all mutuall beneuolence between them And therefore a poynt of great waight and necessitie in no wise to bee omitted in Contract Fiftly we say it must be betweene one man and one woman Where first it is to bee noted that it may not nor ought not to bee betweene any other creatures but mankinde nay neither among brute beastes
slaunder of their profession Temperance in apparrell And let them not so much regarde what thing they would faine haue but rather what they cannot well bee without so that whatsoeuer they haue no need of is too deare of a farthing The dutie of Parents towards their children This dutie containeth foure poyntes namely in teaching or instructing them in religion in manners good example of life and skill of an occupation THis dutie consisteth vppon foure points First that fathers and mothers do instruct and bring vp their children euen from the cradle in the feare and nurture of the Lord. Secondly that they bring them vp in shamefastnesse hatred of vice and loue of all vertue Thirdly that they be vnto their children examples of all godlines and vertuousnes Fourthly that they keep them from idlenes the mother of all mischiefes and bring them vp either in learning or in some good Art or Occupation whereby they may get their liuing with honestie and trueth when they shall come to age and yeares of discretion The first point 1. Touching the first point Parents are to be admonished that they beare in minde that the cause why the Lord hath blessed them with children is first that they should be carefull to see that their children be so vertuously brought vp that they may become citizens of the church of God so that whensoeuer they themselues shall dye in the Lord they may leaue their children true worshippers of God in their place but alas there bee few that haue any great care of this dutie It is to bee remembred The children of Christians ought not to be called by any popish name Dan. 1.7 that it is the fathers dutie with all conuenient speede to present the childe to baptisme and there to giue the name vnto his child as may appeare by the example of Iacob and Zacharias Genes 35.18 4.25.26 Luk. 1.63 Genes 16.15 21.3 And it is a thing worthie to bee wished that all parents when and at such time as God blesseth them hauing any childrē borne that then they would giue them such names as are named and commended vnto vs in the holie Scriptures to the end that when they come to yeares of discretion they by hearing those names may be excited and moued to follow the vertuous life and christian conuersation of those men and women whose names they beare which the holie Ghost hath commended them for and contrariwise to eschue and auoide those faults and vices which are discommended in them We are neither better nor worse in respect of our names Iosua 10.3 The name profiteth none in whom vertue is not commended And yet wee haue to remember that as those children which are named and called by and after any of the names of Patriarkes Prophets Apostles or by the name of any other Saint man or woman are not any thing the better because they haue such godly christian names vnlesse that they doe imitate and follow them in faith vertue and godly behauiour so on the other side they that bee not called by such christian names as are mentioned in the sacred Scripture are not in respect of their names any thing the worse hauing an assured faith in the merits of Christ his death passion and bloudshedding and leading their liues agreeable to the same For as neither the yearely reuenues nor the glorious titles and names of ancestors and to descend of noble parentage maketh mē noble and renowned in deed vnles they themselues be godly honest and wise so neither the godly names no nor yet the faith and vertue of the fathers auaileth the wicked and vngodlie children any thing at all vnlesse they repent and become faithfull and godly as they were Let vs here consider that so often as in the race of our life wee doe heare or doe speake of our name it doth put vs in remembrance first of Gods mercie shewed vnto vs in our baptisme secondly of our promise to God againe And as in times amongst our ancestors Luk. 1.59 and 2.21 Proper names are also giuen vnto vs for this vse and end that is to distinguish betwixt man and man Infants had their names giuen them when they were circumcised as appeareth in Luke no doubt to this end that the circumcised should be admonished by the calling by their names at what time and place they had their names giuen thē and should thinke that they are written in the number of the children of God and ioyned in league with him and made partakers of the couenant so likewise after the same maner must we that haue had our names giuen vs in baptisme remember beare in mind that we are by grace adopted to be the sons of God and receiued into his fauour and therfore that we are Gods own and as it were his goods and riches as who beare his name as proper vnto him 2. Secondly they must assure themselues that all their labour is lost which they bestow vpon their children vnlesse they bring them vp in the feare of God and oftentimes call vpon Gods helpe by earnest prayer that he in mercie would vouchsafe to preserue them from the manifold snares subtilties and temptations of Sathan which their tender age is subiect vnto We may heare many parents complaine of the disobedience of their children but they do not marke consider that they are iustly punished by God for that they thinke by their owne industrie and wit to make them good and vertuous without Gods blessing which they seldome or neuer call for in good earnest 3. Thirdly let them consider how noble a thing a child is whom God himselfe hath shaped and formed in his mothers wombe nourished brought foorth into the light and indued with bodie and soule to the end he should as it were in a table represent God his first paterne Instructing correcting and praying make good children and happie Parents 4. Fourthly let them know that these things are to be dealt withall in order Vnto the bodie nourishment bringing vp apparell and sometime correction that they may keepe their children in awe 1. King 2.2 3. Genes 34.30 Iohn 1.5 Vnto the soule they owe catechising instruction and doctrine and that of two sorts namely of godlinesse and of ciuilitie By the one they shall keepe a good conscience before God By the other they shall obtaine a good report among men For these are the two principall points which parents ought to bee most carefull to plant in this life in their children both which the Apostle comprehendeth in one verse where he saith Ephes 6.1 Ye fathers prouoke not your children to wrath but bring them vp in instruction and information of the Lord. And therefore all parents are diligently to instruct and teach their children the first principles of Christ his religion so soone as by age they are able to perceiue and vnderstand the same that they may as it were suck in godlinesse together with their
besides the secret counsell of the Lord herein we must know that neither the promise of the Lord is so vniuersall that euery particular child of a faithfull man should be within the couenant or if of many there be but one blessed the promise is performed yea which more is though the faithfull man haue neuer a good child yet if vnto the thousand generation there be but one good the couenant is not broken neither must wee tie the Lord his worke so much to man that a good man may not haue an euil sonne seeing though the Lord visit not his sinnes yet hee may visit the sinnes of some of his Forefathers to the third and fourth generation going before To the second wee say that an euill father hauing a good child though the Lord shew not mercie to that particular man therein yet hee may remember his promise to some of the Forefathers in the thousand generations going before and though that an euill man haue no cursed child yet the curse may be accomplished in the third and fourth generations following Wherefore not speaking of election or reprobation which we leaue onely to the Lord to make good or bad we exhort parents to vse the ordinary meanes to bring vp their children so as they either by some good tokens may see them the children of God and heyres of the couenant or at least be comforted in their own conscience if their children for some cause vnknowne refuse it in that to the vttermost of their abilitie they haue vsed all good and godly meanes to bring them vp well offered them to God And if parents haue cause to bee grieued when thus trauelling in good education they cannot see good in their children how much more cause of griefe may they haue when they haue vsed bestowed no labour at all to bring them vp in the feare of the Lord And yet many will be grieued for the one that will not for the other Wherefore let vs learne if we wish to conuey God his blessings to our posterities let vs vse the duties thereunto let vs if we be loth to conuey God his iudgements to our children carefully auoid the meanes vnto it and surely as it is a blessed thing in the houre of death with Simeon to depart in peace Luke 2.29 leauing our wiues children and seruants members of Christ spouses to Christ children to God and seruants to the Lord so in death no one thing will bee more grieuous vnto a man then the Lord hauing giuen him the charge of so many soules to bee furthered to saluation that his owne tormented conscience shall presse him how in as much as hee could hee hath helped thē forward to their damnation and so which is more fearefull he shall haue them spewing and foming out on his face continuall curses in hell accusing him for euer to be a murtherer of their soules and a cut of their saluation The end of all this briefly is thus much that parents hauing fooles children not walking either in knowledge or in a good conscience must make some vse of so iust a cause of griefe examining themselues and accusing their own soules before the Lord eyther for that their meeting was prophane to so holy an estate or brutish because they desired rather a seed like vnto themselues in flesh and blood then such as might bee like to Christ by grace and new birth or that they begat their ofspring as meere naturall or very carnall men or because they eyther prophanely neglected all good education or monstrously misliked that in their yong children which they liked in themselues and punished in them their owne corrupt precepts or for that they suffered their children iniuriously to do euill to others which they could not suffer to doe to themselues or vntaught them that at home which was taught abroad or in that they doe lie in some sinne vnrepented of or else because they neuer made conscience to bring their posteritie within the couenant of saluation but still loued the flesh of their children and not their soules Let all Parents remember that they are bound by the Law of God and nature as concerning this bodily life to make good and honest prouision according to their degrees for the reliefe and maintenance of their children and familie And therefore such Fathers and mothers as consume and waste away their money and substance vnthriftily by dicing carding gaming or by any other indirect and vnlawfull meanes whereby their children and familie should bee maintayned doe very vnnaturally sinne and breake Gods commandements The wise man sheweth parents when is the best time to sow the seed of vertue in their children that it may bring forth the fruit of life and make them alway readie to die saying Eccles 12.1 Remember now saith he thy Creator in the dayes of thy youth Youth must thinke on death betimes to the end to liue well and die well As if he should say Bee mindfull and thinke on God in thy youth and do not prolong or defer it vntil age And so all their life shall runne in a line the middle like the beginning and the end like the middle as the Sunne setteth against the place where it rose One of the principallest duties that belong to parents towards their children is that they be very warie and carefull Marriage with Papists c. that their sonnes and daughters doe not match in marriage with such as are vngodly wicked and voyd of true religion Which if they doe they endanger the faith of their children and so commit a grieuous sinne For proofe whereof let vs consider first what marriage is how nigh a coniunctiō the Lord hath made it He made the woman of the mans nature flesh of his flesh bone of his bones Gen. 2.23 so that wee may not imagine that in the outward and worser part that that God which required so neer a coniuction wil suffer the mind and spirite of the husband and wife betweene faith superstition to be rent asunder Therfore when God said They shall be two in one flesh Verse 24. We may not thinke but that he spake it of the whole and perfect creature made of bodie and soule that they should bee of two one Or that God did by so holy a Law set free the holiest part requiring onely such agreement in the flesh and bodie and leaue the soule and spirit in dissention For as God gaue vnto both one name as touching their earthly nature signifying their vnity and called thē Adam Genes 5.2 So hee gaue vnto them a likenesse in name as they were ioyned in marriage to signifie their agreement in mind and spirit called the one Man and the other Woman Genes 2.22 23. Yea he gaue vnto marriage this especiall priuiledge Gen. 2.24 For this cause shall a man leaue his father his mother and shall leaue to his wife and they shall be one flesh but it could
running for counsell in euery light matter or else may take a wrong course except hee can stumble on the right way by good hap This obseruation and pondering of euents with the causes that went before is the ripener of wit But idlemindednesse and carelesse letting passe of matters maketh an emptinesse in the head of such good things as make one man excell an other Thirdly in following thy calling let not iustice Iustice is a vertue that yeeldeth to euerie man his owne and vpright dealing be forgotten but order thy dealings by theÌ„ If there were no other yet this reason should weigh with thee that so thou mightest looke to reap good dealing at other mens hands as it is said Pro. 25.21 He that followeth after righteousnesse and mercie shall finde life righteousnesse and glorie Where as such as measure out hard measure to others they haue the like measured to them againe according to the saying of our Sauiour Christ besides the riches gotten by ill meanes haue a heauie destinie vttered against theÌ„ The gathering of riches by a deceitfull tongue is vanitie tossed to and fro of them that seeke death Pro. 21.6 As iustice and equal dealing toward all men must be looked vnto so God will haue vs not to omit mercifulnesse Mercifulnesse is a passion of the mind towards those that vndeseruedly and shamefully are afflicted proceeding from those that be affected with pittie and compassion and frendly dealing to the poore Be not then so tied to thy businesse that thou canst neuer looke out to the necessities of others nor spare time to serue his occasions Among many waies of helping the poore which are commanded this is one to go or ride for theÌ„ to saue them from wrong or to further them in their right to be their mouth to plead for them when by feare and simplicitie they cannot plead for themselues And toward them especially a sparing hand is forbidden and that with a sore item Psalm 16 3. Gal. 6.10 Heb. 6.10 and 13.16 1. Iohn â— â—6 Prou. 22.9 Prou. 25.13 He that stoppeth his eare at the crying of the poore he shall also crie and not bee heard And liberalitie is perswaded with a sweet promise and especially to the Saints and faithfull Pro. 19.17 He that hath mercie vpon the poore lendeth vnto the Lord and the Lord will recompence him that which hee hath giuen If any feare that if he tie himselfe so short as neuer to passe the bounds of equitie besides open his hand so wide to the poore he shal neuer liue and thriue of his calling let him remeÌ„ber what is written Prou. 16.3 Commit thy works to the Lord and thy thoughts shall be directed And let that promise encourage him to follow the Lord whither soeuer he calleth notwithstanding any feare or misdoubt Besides let him haue that in minde which is in Pro. 28.22 against couetousnes posting to be rich A man with a wicked eie hasteth to be rich and knoweth not that pouertie shall come vnto him And againe in the 20. verse He that maketh haste to be rich shall not be innocent Whereto agreeth that of S. Paul 1. Tim. 6.9 10. He that wil be rich falleth into tentation and snares c. Prou. 13.11 and 20.21 Contentation is a Vertue whereby a man is well pleased with that estate wheâ—ein he is placed 1. Tim. 6.6.7 Phil. 4 1â—.12 Matth. 6.11 Heb. 13.5 Hereunto men must ioyne Contentation with that allowance which God as a wise Father that knoweth what is best maketh vnto them for a restlesse and vncontented minde breedeth haste-making to riches dryeth vp the riuers of liberalitie and setteth the conscience vpon the racke and stretcheth it beyond the bounds of equitie and iust dealing when hope of gaine is offered Wherefore Salomon to preuent these euils in men to make them to like of their present estate he telleth theÌ„ that Better is a little with righteousnes then great reuenues without equitie Pro. 16.8 15.16.17 Psal 37.16 And in the 20. chapter there is a double reason set downe of this first that store gotten with wrong breedeth a sore trouble Esa 33.1 Pro. 22.22.23 Eccles 5.7 and 4.1 sometime of mind and conscience and sometimes outward while the right owner of the goods suffereth him not to go so quietly away with them or God stirreth thee vp an enemie mightier then thy selfe that shall pull from thee as thou didst from another The second is that such haue the hatred of many for that which they purloine or get by wrong oppression which a good man would not haue for so small commoditie Hitherto we haue shewed what thou must looke vnto in following thy calling Now follow other things not vnworthie to bee thought vpon of him that would prouide for his family well To spare that thou maiest haue to spend in honestie and necessitie for Gods sake is well done Though we would not haue a man faine himselfe poore and a niggard when he hath aboundance as a number do by whyning and complaining without cause who are neither good to the common wealth nor kinde to themselues Yet it is not wisedome to carrie a higher port and countenance in the world A thing is sooner spared then gotâ—en then a mans abilitie will warrant such shall be enuied so longe as they doo beare it out by the hard-edge Cut thy coate according to thy cloath and eat within thy teder they shal be laide at for charges and if through necessitie in the end they be faine to yeeld they shall be scorned of their enuiers and little pittied of all others Wherefore it is wisedome rather to beare a low saile and to keepe within compasse and rather to come short of that thou mightest do remembring that which is Pro. 12.9 He that is despised and is his owne man is better then hee that boasteth himselfe and lacketh bread Againe as they which loue to pearke aloft and desire to bee caried with a full sayle by the winde a Ambition is an vnlawfull or wicked desire of glorie namely when a man seeketh to be aboue al other in honour and seeketh to effect the same by vnnecessarie and vniust actions besides his vocation trusting to his owne wisedome and strength of Ambition and b Vaine glorie is a certaine disordinate desire to be well thought of well spoken of praised and glorified of men vaine glorie rather then to haue sea-roome do oftentimes rush vpon the rocks of want and there sticke till they sincke so they which in feare of such rocks choose to ride with halfe or quarter saile where they haue not roome at will are more safe from danger and may more conueniently prouide against a tempest Yea they may so saile about them that when God shal remoue them hence they shal not be constrained to leaue their children to the wide worlde which thing nature bindeth a man thereunto An other rule may bee drawne out of that
which is Pro. 10.5 A wise sonne gathereth in summer but he that sleepeth in haruest is the son of confusion Where he teacheth that when a man spieth an oportunitie of honest gaine and commoditie he is to follow that while the time serueth but he that for a small matter letteth slip occasions and reckoneth of this time and that time this day and that day thinking then to haue more fit oportunitie that will bnng all to nothing A good neighbour saith one is a good thing Agreeable to this Salomon saith Pro. 17.17 A friend loueth at all times And 18.24 A friende is nearer then a brother As if hee should say there is many a friend that is more kind then a brother more readie to do pleasure then he that is more bound by nature and dutie He saith also Pro. 27.9 As oyntment and perfume reioyce the heart so doth the sweetnesse of a mans friend by heartie counsell That is also notable which is Verse 17. Jron sharpeth Iron so doth a man the face of his friend To wit because mutual communication of friends one with an other quickneth the spirit and cheareth the heart All these places containe motiues to giue heede to this exhortation Verse 10. Thine owne friende and thy fathers friende forsake not neither enter into thy brothers house in the day of thy calamitie for better is a neighbour that is neere then a brother that is far off In the ende of the eighteenth Chapter Verse 24. hee sheweth how a man shall preserue this treasure which is so good A man that hath friends must shew himselfe friendly Hereto agreeth that of the heathen he that would haue a good neighbour must be a good neighbour In the 24.27 Verse He seemeth to giue a rule for the right order of managing a mans Household affaires saying Prepare thy worke without and make readie thy things in the field afterward thou maist build thine house As though hee should say first looke after such things as are needfull and necessarie for house-keeping as that thou maist haue prouision c and then when that is prouided for thou maist fall a trimming vp of thy house But many fooles beginne first to decke their houses before they lay for necessaries and are faine afterwards to sell their ornaments with losse to prouide more necessarie matters It is a good point of wisedome to beare the want of that longest which may best be spared Sparing is good getting and the greatest rent that one can haue The last rule is that a good gouernour of a familie for the better maintenance of his familie must be frugall or to speake english a good husband that is sparing and sauing and so to order and moderate himselfe that if his goods and reuenues bee not sufficient for him and his charge then to make himselfe sufficient for his goods and to dispose of himselfe according to the olde prouerbe So to cut his coate according to his cloth and to eate within his owne tether Yet we would not haue him pinching or niggardly and so dried vp for liberalitie that nothing should be wroong from him for good vses that is too farre on the left hand as prodigalitie is on the right But where there is no iust cause to spend or lay out and it might be as well spared there we would haue him saue for his riches be the Lords goods which God hath made him a steward of when the Lorde therefore wils him to open his hand there let him not be straight handed but where nothing but vnrulie lusts and pomp or vain glory bid him drawe there is hee to hold fast for hee is an ill steward that will lay out his maisters goods where there is no need or where lesse would serue There be many who of a greedy and couetous mind will easily imbrace this precept of sparing but as they do it of a wrong purpose so they faile in the matters wherein they should saue and bee sparing Many misers pinch their seruants in their meate and drinke allowing them not inough or not good inough and this they take to be frugalitie and thrift whereas to prancke and pricke vp themselues in brauery and that sometimes aboue their calling herein they are very lauish This is no more to be counted frugalitie or good husbandrie then to rob a poore man to giue to the rich is true liberalitie When therefore thou thinkest of sparing let not the greedie desire of gathering draw thee to it but conscience of well vsing that which God hath lent thee And this mind will draw thee to spare and saue onely there where it may be wel done and not there where in conscience thou oughtest to spend Now the better to further our selues in this honest thriftinesse or frugality that is called of one a great reuenew the occasions of needlesse expences must bee auoided Loue not mirth and pastime for they haue oft occasion of expences Againe they cause losse of time and neglect of businesse at home yea and often such doo buy their pleasures with losse in their goods while retchlesse maisters haue either theeuish or carelesse seruants Therfore Salomon telleth such their fortune Pro. 11.17 Hee that loueth mirth or pastime will bee a poore man Secondly a sweete tooth a veluet mouth that is daintinesse or choicenesse in diet is an enimie to frugalitie a needlesse charge to delight the taste for a moment whereas wholesome meat and drinke would be more ease for the purse and healthfull for the bodie He that loueth Wine and Oyle that is sweete delicats for his sences will not be rich Pro. 27.17 In this ranke doo march gluttonie I meane cramming and pampering the bodie Gluttonie is a vice when any doth cram and fill his body with ouermuch meate and also drunkennesse These dul the mind and wit darken reason and make a man become sottish Besides they stuffe the body with grosse humours which breed diseases and diseases bring other charges for phisicke or at least losse of time and neglect of businesse which doo cost a man as much as his diet wherein hee was excessiue so that these euills haue double expences To be briefe in this point God hauing read the destinie of the drunkard Drunkennesse is a vice when any doth gull in ouermuch drinke and the glutton namely that many euils and namelie pouertie shall betide them Pro. 23.21.29.30.31 By some way or other God will effect his iudgement for no one peece of his word shall fall to the ground A great backfriend to thrift is good-fellowship and companie keeping for it hath losse of time and draweth thee away from thy calling and hindereth the due ouerseeing of good husbands affaires it maketh a man ouerslippe occasions of doing good things in a due and fitte season besides it draweth home others to thy house or draweth thee to other houses as Tauernes Alehouses such like the haunting wherof is a thing of no good report and
it maketh thee lauish in spending or else it is no good-fellowship as they say by meanes therof thou shalt feede the gluttons and spend that vppon others which belongeth to thine owne familie which Salomon saith Pro. 28.7 Is a shame to thy father Thy companie keeping hath many other enormities Hee that toucheth pitch shall be defiled therewith And as hee is a partie with them in their euils so shall he bee also in their punishment Pro. 13.20 The companioÌ„ of fooles shall be afflicted Wherfore auoide such and rather follow the wise Pro. 11.13.32 He that walketh with the wise shall be wise who are they euen they that haue the lippes of knowledge whose words teach good things But such whose talke is nothing but froth their words vnsauerie and bring no good to the hearer though there be no outward euill in their liues yet they must not be admitted for companions further then vpon some vrgent occasion thou must deale with them Pro. 14.7 Depart from the foolish man when thou perceiuest not in him the lips of knowledge As to haue a faithfull friend is a matter auailable to thrift so by his friends a man may bee endammaged There is a friendship which is very costly and chargeable to maintaine Hee that desireth familiaritie with great men must haue other things suteable as costly apparell well trimmed houses often inuitings to bankets to recompence their kindnes he must follow their humours and not stick to neglect his affaires to haue their companie when he may This will cost a man sweetly but what shall he gaine A friendly countenance before his face and perhaps a drie flout behind his backe especially if things goe not well with him for the world then oh it is pitie a frank-hearted man no bodies foe but his owne and such like Saloâ—on giueth thee warning of this kinde of friendship Pro. 23.1 2 3. There is another mans friendship which Salomon would haue thee to auoide as hurtfull vnto thee Pro. 22.24 Prou. 18.19 Make no friendship with an angrie man neither goe with the furious The cholerick man though neuer so good a fellow while he â—s pleased yet is soone turned to hate thee And no heauier foe then hee that was a friend which Salomon declareth Vers 20. A brother offended is harder to winne then a strong citie and their contentioâ—s are like the barre of a pallace If a man could alwaies keepe in with the angrie man which cannot bee done without putting vp many iniuries yet may that bee hurtfull For the Wiseman addeth Lâ—â—st thou learne his waies that is become like to him in furiousnes And that is as hurtfull on the other side for the furious man aboundeth in transgressions Prou. 29.25 which doe often cost him the setting on euen from men who being by his rage hurt or reproached doe watch their occasions to worke him some woe Whereupon we say in a common prouerb The angrie man neuer wanteth woe There bee also Trencher-friends who to winne fauour and good-will will smooth it in words fawne and glauer they will say as you say and bring you tales of your enemie so to feede your humour that he may winde within you a beast that biteth sorest of al tame beasts For while a simple-hearted man suspecteth no hurt he watcheth his occasions to speede himselfe of a bootie a matter that by the counsell of the holy Ghost oft repeated in the Prouerbs is as carefully to be auoided as it is hurtfull to a mans estate If he can do none of these yet hee hath not lost his labour for he had many a good welcome for his faire talke And by often resorting to thy house he hath furnished himselfe with some thing to discredite thee except thou hast walked marueilous warily which a man can hardly doe before flatterers To end this matter of friendship haue some neere friends but not many Choose the best natured and the best graced that is such as besides single-hartednes and plaine simplicitie are by grace brought to haue coÌ„science of their dealing And least vnder a shew of simplicitie wilinesse should bee hid trie before you trust and grow into familiaritie not all at a push but by steps Tell things of no great secrecie as secrets to trie their taciturnitie Be not ouer credulous vpon sight of a little kindnesse to account them amongst thy neerest friends Many haue been wiped of their commodities by falsehood in felloâ—ship Some haue been betraied by vntrustie friends and brought into great troubles Many opening their mindes to bâ—â—bs that can keepe nothing haue their purposes openly knowne and scanned before they can compasse them and so are oftentimes preuented through the malice of their enuiers Wherefore except a man can finde a faithfull friend indeede it is good to remember the olde saying My secrets to my selfe Whereto our common prouerbe answereth Two may keepe counsell if one bee away The Wiseman ascribeth it to follie to powre out a mans secrets lightlie The foole powreth out all his minde Pro. 29.11 but the wise man keepeth it in As hurt commeth by some friends so also by enemies many are sore annoyed What charges in lawing and other troubles bee there in the world through enmitie VVherefore it is good wisedome by all good meanes to auoide breaches which breede enmitie and by all friendlie iust and wise dealing to keepe peace and good-will euen with the meanest The weakest enemie is not to bee contemned It shall goe harde but at one time or other hee will worke thee some displeasure at least his mouth shall alwaies bee open to speake ill to misconster thy actions and to blaze abroad thy infirmities scapes Hee that would haue no enemies must make himselfe none by vniust vnkinde or vnneighbourlie dealing but rather by courteousnes of speech helpfulnes and good neighbourhood to winne the loue and liking of men yet a man may be too wise in this point Many being loth to incurre any mans displeasure will not seeke to vpholde right and equitie speake for the poore stand out to maintaine Gods cause wheÌ„ he is dishonoured by open sinne as swearing lying rayling and such like Many to keepe in withall vse all companies alike for auoyding a mans companie breedeth a grudge But the good will of men is neuer to be purchased with forsaking of dutie Such things as may iustly be ill taken auoide for peace sake Whereof the Wiseman noteth some as medling in other mens matters Prou. 26.17 He that medleth with a strife that belongeth not to him is as he that taketh a dogge by the eares that is casteth himselfe into dangers Prou. 29.9.10 2. Be not hastie to go to law no not in a right cause but agree at home For besides that a man doth seldome scape without great losse in which respect it is also to bee auoided as an enemie to thrift thy neighbour is openly put to reproach becommeth thy mortall enemie and will
19. â— Mark 10.7 1. Cor. 6.16 Ephes 5.31 straighter then any other coniunction in the societie of mankinde Insomuch that it is a lesse offence to forsake father and mother and to leaue them succourles which notwithstanding ought by Gods commandement to be honored then it is to do the like toward his lawfull maried wife Wherfore let them looke well what they doe that are readie for light and small causes to separate maÌ„ man and wife seeing that Christ himselfe saith Matth. 19.9 That whosoeuer is separated from his wife sauing for whoredome and marrieth another committeth adulterie This is a thing worthie to bee remembred both on the behalfe of the Suter and Woer as also on her part that is woed namely that they deale plainly and faithfully one with the other and not guilefully and craftily goe about to deceiue one the other in bodie or goods for so doing they shall neuer vse one the other so louingly and commodiously as they hoped and desired they might when the one hath fraudulently and deceitfully inticed and beguiled the other either in bodie or substance for naturally wee hate him or her that doth beguile vs. Neither is there any thing that displeaseth a man or woman more then to lacke and faile of the thing they both hoped and looked for And therefore it were conuenient and also much better that both parties should disclose the one to the other such imperfections infirmities and wants in either of their bodies as also the mediocritie and meannesse of their goods and substaÌ„ce as in truth it is yea though it should be with the perill and losse one of the other rather then the one to obtaine and get the other with fraud guile and discord But before wee shall come to speake of the causes of mariage we purpose God so willing briefly to shew how euery one that entendeth to marrie should chuse him a meete fit and honest mate for there lieth much weight in the wise election and choise of a wife Gen. 2.18 As hee that will plant any thing doth first consider the nature of the ground in the which he mindeth to plant euen so much more ought a man to haue respect to the condition of the woman out of whom hee desireth to plant children the fruits of honestie and welfare The first thing that is to bee remembred of such a one as mindeth to marrie is Such as are of kindred in the flesh may not contract matrimonie that hee doe not chuse his wife within such degrees of consanguinitie and affinitie as are by f Leuit. 18.6 c. Gods law forbidden Secondly g Deut. 7.3 2. Cor. 6.14.15 c. Religion and faith must be considered least he make diuorce of the true faith or bring it into perill For although hee thinke himselfe as wise as h 1. King 11.4 Salomon and as strong as i Iudg. 16.17.18 Sampson yet may he bee ouercome as they were Therefore great aduisement before hand is to be taken in this behalfe least afterwards with much griefe and sorrow of hart he doe too late repent Now if any that hath matched himselfe with a wife that is an infidell irreligious or of a corrupt religion and would put her away for this matter herein he deceiueth himselfe 1. Cor. 7.12.13 c. 1. Pet. 3.1 as the Apostle manifestly proueth for wee must put a difference betweene that mariage that is made and done alreadie and it that is yet to doe Wherefore he that is snared and matched with such a wife as is either froward wayward or els is poysoned with superstition and poperie in such a case he must call vpon God and liue in his feare in faithfulnesse in patience and with discretion and godly counsell labour to winne her from the same For like as that Husbandman doth with great labour and diligence till that ground which hee hath once taken to farme although it be neuer so full of faults as if it be drie if it bring forth weedes bâ—ambles or briers or though the same ground cannot beare much wet yet through good husbandry he winneth fruit thereof Euen so in like maner he that hath maried a wife that is irreligious or froward if he shall vse like diligence to instruct and order her minde if he diligently and courteously apply himselfe to weede out by little and little the noysome weeds out of her minde both by holesome and godly precepts and by Christian conuersation it cannot bee but in time he shall feele the pleasant fruit thereof to both their comforts for as it is commonlie said a good Iacke maketh a good Gill. Euery one therefore that purposeth to marrie ought also to remember that there be three maner of riches in man Three maner of riches in man 1. The riches of the minde 2. The riches of the bodie 3. The riches of temporall substance The best and the most precious are the riches of the minde as without which the other two are more hurtfull then profitable The riches of the mind Riches of the minde are the feare of God faith Gods glorie knowledge of his will sobernesse liberalitie chastitie silence humblenes honestie and such like vertues These vertues lie not still neither hide themselues wheresoeuer they be but will break out diuers waies so that they may well bee spied and discerned As a traueller hath markes in his way that he may proceede aright so likewise the man or woman that intendeth to marrie haue also marks in their waies by which they may make a right choise There bee certaine signes of this fitnes and godlinâ—s both in the man and in the woman So that if the man be desirous to know a godly woman or the woman would know who is a godly man then let them obserue and marke these sixe points Sixe rules to be obserued in the choise of a good wife or a good husband 1. The report 2. The lookes 3. The speech 4. The apparell 5. The companions 6. And lastly the education and bringing vp which are like the pulses that shew whether a man be sick or whole well or ill 1. The report 1. Report name or fame he or she hath had and yet haue and what opinion honest folkes haue of them because as the market goeth so the market-men will talke A good man and a good woman commonlie haue a good name Prou. 10.7 and 22.1 Preach 7.3 because a good name is one of the blessings which God promiseth to good men and good women Psal 112.6 but a good name is not to bee praised from the wicked Luk. 6.26 And therfore our Sauiour Christ saith Woe be to you wheÌ„ all men speake well of you that is when euill men praise and commend you for that is a plaine argument that you are ambitious vain-glorious and of the world For the world liketh and praiseth her own Ioh. 15.19 Neuerthelesse it is conuenient that euery Christian should so
labours into a bottomlesse sacke and the wife that is matched with such a husbaÌ„d draweth a Carte heauie loden through a sandy way without a horse Such a husband especially if idlenesse drawe him to loue and haunt Ale-houses and tauernes is cruel to his wife and children and such a wife confoundeth her husband bringeth reproch and pouertie to her whole familie The remedie for the husband that hath such a wife is patience with discreet admonition and praier to God as also the helpe for the wife that hath such a husband is tolleration gentle exhortation and chearfull and louing entertainment of her husband whereby to induce him willingly to keepe home They are also to be mutual helpers each to other in matters concerning their own saluation and the seruice of God First if one of them as saith the Apostle bee an vnbeleeuer the other must labour to drawe his partie to the knowledge of the trueth Saint Paul exhorting the husband and wife of contrary religions not to part but to dwel together addeth a notable reason saying What knowest thou ô man whether thou shalt saue thy wife 1. Cor. 7.16 or thou ô woman whether thou shalt saue thy husband Therein declaring that the faithfull person in dutie is to labour and indeuour to winne his partie to the knowledge of the trueth and so to saue her Saint Peter exhorteth wiues to bee subiect to their husbands albeit vnbeleeuers and such as not obey the word that so without speech By their holy and vertuous conuersation 1. Pet. 3.1 they may winne them Secondly if both be beleeuers their dutie is to confirme and strengthen each other in the time of persecution that they constantly follow Iesus Christ They are also each to helpe and comfort other if eyther of them happen to fall into any fault or sinne They ought also each to perswade other to charitie to relieue the poore diligently to frequent sermons to vse praiers and supplications and praise and thanksgiuings to the Lorde to comfort each other in the time of afflictions to be short either to exhort other to walke in the feare of God and in all duties and exercises beseeming the children of God 2. King 4.10 In this manner did that holy woman Elizeus Hostesse exhort her husband to prepare a chamber for the Pâ—ophet to lodge in Saint Paul also saith 1. Cor. 14.35 that women desirous to learne should question with their husbands at home Whereby he sheweth that the husband ought to bee so instructed as hee may be ready to instruct his wife at home And therefore the husband after the example of the Bee should euerie where gather euerie good instruction that he might bee able to impart it to his wife and by hauing communication acquaint her therewith There are other duties which bee common both to the husband and the wife as among the rest such as proceed of the vnion and coniunction of marriage whereof it is said They are one flesh Genes 2.24 Math. 19.5 And of this vnion proceedeth the mutual loue betwixt them For no man saith the Apostle hateth his owne flesh but loueth and cherisheth it Ephes. 5.15 Titus 24. But for as much as the foundation of this mutuall loue is the vnitie of marriage wherby the husband and the wife are made one flesh the husband as the head the wife as the body It followeth that this loue must be stedfast not variable and that the vnion of marriage continue notwithstanding whatsoeuer befall either the husband or the wife Notwithstanding whatsoeuer complexions wee say natures and infirmities may appeare whatsoeuer sicknesse losse of goods iniuries griefes or other inconueniences that may arise yet so long as the foundation of loue that is the vnion of marriage doth continue so long must loue and affection remaine Math. 5.44 God commandeth vs to loue our neighbours as our selues because they be of our flesh Albeit therefore that he contemne hate offend or wrong vs albeit he be our enemie and in respect of himselfe deserueth not that wee should loue him yet because hee is of our flesh the foundation of loue remaineth we must loue him How much rather ought they to put this in practise who by the bond of marriage are made one flesh The rather because the vnion betweene man and wife is without comparison more straight bindeth them each to loue other much more then the coniunction wehreby man is vnited vnto his neighbour But this is the mischiefe that in many their loue is not grounded vpon the vnion of marriage but vpon beautie riches and other carnall and worldly considerations subiect to change alterarion and losse This corruption that respecteth beautie is olde and noted to bee among the causes of the flood Genes 6.2 The sonnes of God saith Moses seeing the daughters of men were faire lusted after them and tooke them in marriage But indeed it is mony that maketh loue and riches ingender affection witnesse the experience of our daies Yet such loue resembleth onely a fire of straw which is but a blaze and is soone out vnlesse it be continued with great wood or other like substance Loue growing of beautie riches lust or any other like slight vncertaine and fraile groundes is soone lost and vanished vnlesse it be maintayned with the consideration of this vnion of two in one flesh and the vertues thereto adioyned and therefore must euery man thinke vpon this vnion in marriage that he may enioy nourish and continue the loue that thereof proceedeth the rather because such loue is the nurse of concord that maketh marriage happy As contrariwise the want of this loue is the fountaine of strife quarrelling debate and other like afflictions that conuert the paradice of marriage into a hell For dissention betweene man and wife is the trouble and ouerthrow of the household They that will auoide such strife must therfore loue each other and especially they must haue care hereof when they are first married For a vessell made of two peeces and glewed togither may at the first bee easilie broken but in time groweth strong so is it also with two persons that are glewed or ioyned togither by the bond of marriage This loue the mother of peace will ingender a care and dutie each to support other and so to practise the same which Saint Paul requireth in all beleeuers that is To be gentle one to another frendly each to forgiue other euen as God hath forgiuen vs through Christ Let the husband thinke that he hath married a daughter of Adam with all her infirmities and likewise let the woman thinke that she hath not maried an Angell but a childe of Adam with his corruption And so let them both resolue to beare that that cannot be soone amended Let not the body complaine of the head albeit it haue but one eye neither the head of the body albeit it be crooked or mishapen Such defaults do neuer breake vnion
and loue between the head and the body neither must the infirmities of the husband or the wife infringe the loue that proceedeth of the vnion and coniunction of marriage If the husband bee giuen to brawling or the wife to chiding let them both beware of giuing any occasion The bell hath a loude sound and therfore he that will not heare it must beware how he pulleth the rope and shake it so if the one will begin to chide without a cause let the other be either deafe and so not heare it or dumbe and so make no answere So that where the husband is deafe and the wife blinde marriage is quiet and free from dissention Whereby is meant that the wife must winke at many infirmities of her husband as if she saw them not and the husband put vp many shrewde speeches of his wife as if he heard them not Neither can it be any reproch to the husband and wife so stedfastly vnited to practise this dutie considering that Dauid protesteth that he vsed the like patience and discretion among his enemies They that seeke after my life lay snares and they that goe about to doe me euill Psal 38.12 talke wicked things and imagine deceit continually But I as a deafe man heard not and am as a dumbe man which openeth not his mouth Thus I am as a man that heareth not and â—n whose mouth are no reproofes This vnion betweene man and wife doth also engender that dutie which the holy Ghost noteth saying Matth. 19.5 Ephes 5.31 For this cause shall a man leaue his father and mother and cleaue to his wife As also the wife in the like respect is bound to the like dutie toward her husband Not that marriage exempteth any from their due honour and obedience to parentes but to declare that the vnion betweene man and wife is greater then betweene the children and the parentes And indeede the true loue of the husband to the wife and of the wife to the husband surmounteth all loue of children to their parents The husband and the wife haue their secret counsels and communication of matters concerning their profit and commoditie The wife is more obedient to her husband and the husband more desirous to please his wife then their parents yea and at length it falleth out that they depart from their parentes to keepe house by themselues And this plainely appeared in Lea and Rachell being sisters Gen. 26. and the wiues of Iacob For Iacob grieued at the wrong offered him by their father Laban boldly made his moane to them Whereupon they also complaining of their father agreed with Iacob and consented togither to leaue their father and to follow their husband Iacob Herein likewise consisteth an other dutie of the husband to the wife and of the wife to the husband namely that they shew no greater secrecie or communication of their household affaires to their parents then mutually each to other and this rule is especially to be put in practise when there groweth any discontent betweene themselues For if the husband shal complaine to his parents of his wife or the wife of her husband such dealing might breed a most dangerous iealousie and consequently perhaps irreconciliable dissention and strife But if it should grow to any complaint it were requisite so discreetly to prosecute the matter as that the wife should come to her husbands parents the husband to the wifes parents So should all cause of iealousie cease and the complaint procure most assured remedie This loue and agreement in marriage produceth yet another dutie common both to the husband and the wife And that is that they neuer seeke neyther once thinke of diuorce And to that ende let them remember what is written Mat. 19.6 That which God hath ioyned togither let no man put asunder Likewise that nothing but Adulterie may separate those that are vnited by marriage All other agreements and contracts made by mutuall consent may be broken and dissolued by the like consent of both parties but in the contract of marriage Almightie God commeth in as a witnesse yea he receiueth the promise of both parties as ioyning them in that estate And this doth Salomon note Pro. 2.17 where hee obiecteth to the Harlot that shee hath forgotten the couenant or alliance of her God But Malachie speaketh more plainly and giueth a reason why God punished such husbands as leauing their lawfull wiues tooke others Mala. 2.14 Because saith he the Lord hath beene witnesse betweene thee and the wife of thy youth against whom thou hast transgressed yet is she thy companion and the wife of thy couenant The promise therefore to God cannot be broken but onely by his authoritie In the dayes of Moses husbands were easily and soone intreated to forsake their wiues by giuing them a Bill of diuorce yet so far was this course from being lawfull that contrariwise Mat. 19.8 Iesus Christ saith that it was tolerated onely in respect of the hardnesse of husbands hearts who otherwise would haue vexed their wiues and intreated them cruelly And this libell containing the cause of diuorce and putting away of the woman did iustifie her and condemne the man For seeing it was neuer giuen in case of adulterie Leuit. 20.10 Iohn 8.5 which was punished with death all other causes alledged in the libell tended to iustifie the woman and declare that she was wrongfully diuorced and so condemned the husband as one that contraried the first institution of Marriage whereto Iesus Christ condemning this corruption doth returne them saying Jt was not so from the beginning and therefore whosoeuer shall put away his wife Mat. 19.8 except it bee for whoredome and marrieth another committeth adulterie and whosoeuer marrieth her which is diuorced doth commit adulterie with her So straight is the bond of marriage Hereof it followeth that notwithstanding whatsoeuer difficulties that may arise between the husband and the wife whether it be long tedious and incurable sicknesse of either partie whether naturall and contrary humours that breede debate wrangling or strife about household affaires whether it bee any vice as the husband to bee a drunkard or the wife a slouthfull idle or vnthriftie huswife whether either partie forsake the trueth and profession of religion doe fall to idolatrie or heresie Yet still the bond of marriage remaineth stedfast and not to be dissolued Neither may they bee separated euen by their owne mutual consent For as the holy Ghost hath pronounced Mat. 19.6 That which God hath ioyned togither let no man put asunder And therefore S. Paul saith 1. Cor. 7.12 If any brother hath a wife that beleeueth not if she be content to dwell with him let him not forsake here the woman which hath a husband that beleeueth not if he can be content to dwell with her let her not forsake him Also because some did suppose that the vnbeleefe in any of the parties might breede some pollution
as God confoundeth the wise by the foolish and the strong by the weake so he teacheth the wise by the foolish and helpeth the strong by the weake Therfore Peter saith 1. Pet. 3.1 Husbands are wonne by the conuersation of their wiues As if he should say sometime the weaker vessell is the stronger vessell and Abraham may take counsell of Sarah as Naaman was aduised by his seruant The Shunamits counsell made her husband receiue a Prophet into his house 2. King 5.3 4.9 Hest 7.3 and Hesters counsell made her husband spare the Church of the Iewes so some haue been better helpe to their husbands then their husbands haue bin to them Deut. 32.21 Rom. 10.19 for it pleaseth God to prouoke the wise with the foolish as hee did the Iewes with the Gentiles Beside a helper Prou. 5.18 19. 1. Sam. 16.23 she is called a Comforter too and therefore the man is bid to reioyce in his wife which is as much to say that wiues must be the reioycing of their husbands euen like Dauids harp to comfort Saul A good wife therefore is knowne when her words and deedes and countenance are such as her husband loueth She must not examine whether he be wise or simple but that she is his wife and therefore they that are bound must obey as Abigail loued her husband 1. Sam. 52.3 though he were a foole churlish euill conditioned for the wife is as much despised for taking rule ouer her husband as he for yeelding it vnto her Therefore one saith that a mankind woman is a mōster that is halfe a woman and halfe a man It beseemeth not the mistresse to be a master no more then it becommeth the master to be mistresse but both must saile with their owne winde and both keepe their standing Lastly wee call the wife Huswife that is Genes 38.14 Genes 34.1 Why wiues are called huswiues Titus 2.5 house-wife not a street-wife one that gaddeth vp and downe like Thamer nor a field-wife like Dinah but a house-wife to shew that a good wife keeps her house and therefore Paul biddeth Titus to exhort women that they bee chaste and keeping at home presently after chast he saith keeping at home as though home were chastities keeper And therefore Salomon depainting Prou. 7.12 and describing the qualities of a whore setteth her at the doore now sitting vpon her stall now walking in the streetes now looking out of the window 2. King 9.30 like cursed Iezabel as if she held forth the glasse of temptation for vanitie to gaze vpon But chastitie careth to please but one and therefore she keeps her closet as if she were still at prayer Genes 18.9 The Angell asked Abraham Where is thy wife Abraham answered She is in the tent The Angell knew where she was but hee asked that he might see how women in old time did keepe their tents and houses 2. King 4.22 It is recorded of the Shunamite that she did aske her husband leaue to go vnto the Prophet though she went to a Prophet and went of a good errand and for his cause as much as her owne yet shee thought it not meete to goe farre abroad without her husbands leaue The second point is that wiues submit themselues Ephes 5.22 23 1. Cor. 11 3. 14.34 and bee obedient vnto their owne husbands as to the Lord because the husband is by Gods ordinance the wiues head that is her defender teacher and comforter and therefore she oweth her subiection to her husband like as the Church doth to Christ and because the example of Sarah the mother of the faithfull which obeyed Abraham and called him Lord Genes 18.12 1. Pet. 3.6 moueth them thereunto This point is partly handled before in the first point as in the dutie of the husband to the wife As the Church should depend vpon the wisedome discretion and wil of Christ Ephes 5.24 and not follow what it selfe listeth so must the wife also submit and apply her selfe to the discretion and will of her husband euen as the gouernment and conduct of euery thing resteth in the head not in the bodie Moses writeth Genes 3.1 that the Serpent was wise aboue all beasts of the field and that hee did declare in assaulting the woman that when he had seduced her she might also seduce and deceiue her husband 1. Tim. 2.14 Saint Paul noting this among other the causes of the womans subiection doth sufficiently shew that for the auoyding of the like inconueniences it is Gods will that she should bee subiect to her husband so that she shall haue no other discretion or will but what may depend vpon her head As also the same Moses saith Genes 3.16 Thy desire shall be subiect to thy husband and he shall rule ouer thee This dominion ouer the wiues will doth manifestly appeare in this that God in olde time ordained Numb 30.7 that if the woman had vowed any thing vnto God it should notwithstanding rest in her husband to disauow it So much is the wiues will subiect to her husband yet it is not meant that the wife should not employ her knowledge and discretion which God hath giuen her in the helpe and for the good of her husband But alwaies it must bee with condition to submit her selfe vnto him acknowledging him to be her head that finallie they may so agree in one as the coniunction of mariage doth require Yet as when in a Lute or other musicall instrument two strings concurring in one tune the sound neuerthelesse is imputed to the strongest and highest so in a well ordered household there must be a communication and consent of counsell and will betweene the husband and the wife yet such as the counsell and commandement may rest in the husband True it is that some women are wiser and more discreete then their husbands as Abigail the wife of Naball Prou. 16.1 and 18.22 and 19.14 and 31. all others Whervpon Salomon saith A wise woman buildeth vp the house and blessed is the man that hath a discreet wife Yet still a great part of the discretion of such women shall rest in acknowledging their husbands to bee their heads and so vsing the graces that they haue receiued of the Lord that their husbands may be honored not contemned neither of them nor of others which falleth out contrarie when the wife will seeme wiser then her husband So that this modestie and gouernment ought to bee in a wife namely that she should not speake but to her husband or by her husband And as the voyce of him that soundeth a trumpet is not so lowd as the sound that it yeeldeth so is the wisedome and word of a woman of greater vertue and efficacie when all that she knoweth and can doe is as if it were said and done by her husband The obedience that the wife oweth to her husband dependeth vpon this subiection of her will
and wisedome vnto him As 1. Pet. 3.6 Ephes 5.33 Ester 1.1 2. c. 12. So that womē may not prouoke their husbands by disobedience in matters that may bee performed without offence to God neither to presume ouer him either in kindred or wealth or obstinately to refuse in a matter that may trouble household peace and quiet For disobedience begetteth contempt of the husband and cōtempt wrath and is many times the cause of troubles betweene the man and the wife If the obedience importeth any difficultie she may for her excuse gently propound the same yet vpon condition to obey in case the husband should persist in his intent so long as the discommoditie importeth no wickednesse For it is better to continue peace by obedience then to breake it by resistance And indeede it is naturall in the members to obey the conduct and gouernement of the head Yet must not this obedience so far extend as that the husband should command any thing contrary to her honour credit and saluation but as it is comely in the Lord Col. 3.18 Ephes 5.22 Therfore as it were a mōstrous matter and the means to ouerthrow the person that the body should in refusing all subiection obedience to the head take vpō it to guide it selfe and to commaund the head so were it for the wife to rebell against the husband Let her then beware of disordering and peruerting the course which God in his wisedome hath established and with all let her vnderstand that going about it she riseth not so much against her husband as against GOD and that it is her good and honor to obey God in her subiection obedience to her husband If in the practise of this dutie she finde any difficultie or trouble through the inconsiderate course of her husband or otherwise let her remember that the same proceedeth not of the order established by the Lorde but through some sin afterward crept in which hath mixed gall among the honie of the subiection and obedience that the womā should haue enioyed in that estate wherein together with Adam she was created after the image of God And so let her humble her selfe in the sight of God and be well assured that her subiection and obedience is acceptable vnto him Likewise that the more that the image of God is restored in her and her husband through the regeneration of the holie Ghost the lesse difficultie shall she finde in that subiection and obedience as many in their mariage haue in deede tried to their great contentment and consolation Further there is a certaine discretion and desire required of women to please the nature inclinations maners of their husbands so long as the same imports no wickednesse For as the looking-glasse howsoeuer faire and beautifully adorned is nothing woorth if it shew that countenance sad which is pleasant or the same pleasant that is sad so the woman deserueth no commendation that as it were contrarying her husband when he is merie sheweth her selfe sad or in his sadnesse vttereth her mirth for as men should obey the lawes of their cities so women the maners of their husbands To some women a becke of her husband is sufficient to declare that there is somewhat amisse that displeaseth him and specially if she beare her husband any reuerence For an honest matron hath no neede of any greater staffe but of one word or one sowre countenance Moreouer a modest and chaste woman that loueth her husband must also loue her house as remembring that the husband that loueth his wife cannot so well like of the sight of any tapestrie as to see his wife in his house For the woman that gaddeth from house to house to prate confoundeth her selfe her husband and familie Titus 2.5 But there are foure reasons why the woman is to goe abroad First to come to holie meetings according to the dutie of godlinesse The second to visit such as stand in neede as the dutie of loue and charitie doe require The third for employment and prouision in household affaires committed to her charge And lastly with her husband when hee shall require her The wife must keepe a good tongue Gen. 20.1 c. The euill and vnquiet life that some women haue and passe with their husbands is not so much for that they commit with and in their persons as it is for that they speake with their tongues When the wife doth holde her peace she keepeth the peace The cause of domesticall combats If the wife would keep silence when her husband beginneth to chide he should not haue so vnquiet dinners neither she the woorse supper which surely is not so for at the same time that the husband beginneth to vtter his griefe the wife then beginneth to scold and chafe wherof doth follow that now then most vnnaturally they come to handy gripes more beastlike thē christianlike which their so doing is both a great shame Silence becommeth a woman and a foule discredit to them both The best meanes therefore that a wife can vse to obtaine and maintaine the loue and good liking of her husband is to bee silent obedient peaceable patient studious to appease his choler if he bee angrie painfull and diligent in looking to her businesse Lacke of knowledge of Gods word is the principall cause why wiues doe not their dutie to their husbands to be solitarie and honest The chiefe and speciall cause why most women do faile in not performing this dutie to their husbands is because they be ignorant of the word of God which teacheth the same and all other duties and therefore their soules and consciences not being brought into subiection to God and his word they can neuer vntill then yeeld and performe true subiection and obedience to their husbands and behaue themselues so euery way as christian wiues are in dutie bound to doe But if wiues bee not so dutitiful seruiceable and subiect to their husbands as in conscience they ought the onely cause thereof for the most part is through the want and neglect of the wise discreet and good gouernment that should be in the husbands besides the want of good example that they shuld giue vnto their wiues both in word and deede One heart and one will For as the common saying is Such a husband such a wife a good Iacke maketh a good Gill. For so much as mariage maketh of two persons one How the loue faithfulnesse and dutie of maried folkes may be kept and increased therefore the loue of the husband and wife may the better bee kept and increased and so continued if they remember the duties last spoken of as also not forget these three points following 1. They must be of one heart will and mind and neither to vpbraide or cast the other in the teeth with their wants and imperfections any waies or to pride themselues in their gifts but rather the one to endeuour to supplie the others wants that
example of the Scriptures are many that proue this As Sarah who nursed Isaack Genes 22.7 though shee were a Princesse and therefore able enough to haue had others to haue taken that paines as also hauing bin a beautifull woman euen in olde age being of great yeares yet she her selfe nurseth and giueth suck to her sonne 1. Sam. 1.23 Also Anna whom the holy Ghost hath lest it recorded as a commendation vnto her for that she nursed her owne sonne Samuel So when God chose a nurse for Moses he led the Hand-maide of Pharaohs daughter to his mother Exod. 2.8 Iudg. 13.24 Cant. 8.1 Psalm 22.9 Matth. 2.14 Luke 2.7.12 as though God would haue none to nurse him but his mother Likewise after when the Sonne of God was borne his father thought none fit to be his nurse but the virgin his mother It is a commendation of a good woman and set downe in the first place 1. Tim. 5.10 as a principall good worke in a widow that is well reported of if she haue nursed her children And therefore such as refuse thus to doe may well and fitly be called nice and vnnaturall mothers yea in so doing they make themselues but halfe-mothers and so breake the holy bond of nature in locking vp her breast from her child and deliuering it forth like the Cuckoo to bee hatched in the Sparrowes nest 3. Again the childrens bodies be commonly so affected as the milk is which they receiue Now if the Nurse bee of an euill complexion and as she is affected in her bodie or in her minde or haue some hidden disease the childe sucking of her breast must needs take part with her And if that bee true which the learned doe say that the temperature of the minde followes the constitution of the bodie needes must it be that if the nurse be of a naughty nature the child must take thereafter Yet if it bee that the nurse bee of a good complexion of an honest behauiour whereas contrariwise Maidens that haue made a scape are commonly called to be Nurses yet can it not bee but that the mothers milke should bee much more naturall for the childe then the milke of a stranger As by experience let a man bee long accustomed to one kinde of drinke if the same man chaunge his ayre and his drinke he is like to mislike it As the egges of a Henne are altered vnder a Hawke neuerthelesse such women as be oppressed with infirmities diseases want of milke or other iust and lawfull causes are to be dispensed withall but whose breasts haue this perpetuall drought Forsooth it is like the gowte no beggers may haue it but Citizens or Gentlewomen In the 9. of Hosea verse 14. drie breasts are named for a curse What a lamentable hap haue Gentlewomen to light vpon this curse more then other sure if their breasts be drie as they say they should fast and pray togither that this curse might bee remoued from them 4. And lastly that it is hurtfull to the mothers themselues both Phisitions can tell and some women full oft haue felt how they haue beene troubled with sore breasts besides other diseases that happen to them through plentie of milke The wife is further to remember that God hath giuen her two breasts not that she should employ and vse them for a shew or of ostentation but in the seruice of God and to bee a helpe to her husband in suckling the child cōmon to them both Experience teacheth that God cōuerteth her blood into the milke wherwith the child is nursed in the mothers wombe He bringeth it into the breasts furnished with nipples conuenient to minister the warme milke vnto the childe whom he indueth with industrie to drawe out the milke for his owne sustenance The woman therefore that can suckle her child and doth it not but refuseth this office and dutie of a mother declareth her selfe to be very vnthankefull to God and as it were forsaketh and contemneth the fruit of her wombe And therefore the bruit beasts lying vpon the ground granting not one nipple or two but sixe or seuen to their yong ones shall rise in iudgement against these daintie halfe-mothers who for feare of wrinckling of their faces or to auoid some small labour doe refuse this so necessary a dutie of a mother due to her children The properties due to a married wife are that shee haue grauitie when shee walketh abroad wisedome to gouerne her house patience to suffer her husband loue to breed and bring vp her children courteous towards her neighbours diligence to lay vp and to saue such goods as are within her charge a friend of honest company and a greater enemie of wanton and light toyes 1. So then the principall dutie of the wife is first to bee subiect to her husband Ephes 5.22 Col. 3.18 1. Pet. 3.1 2. To be chaste and shamefast modest and silent godly and discreet 3. To keepe herselfe at home for the good gouernement of her familie and not to stray abroad without iust cause Srepfathers Stepmothers their duties Here it is not to be pretermitted but that we must say somwhat touching men and women that bee twise married and so become Step-fathers The Husband and Wife must so praise his first Wife and she her first Husband so as it be not done to the offence or reproach of either to the other Iealousie which is the suspecting of adultrie in the married parties ought wiselie carefully to be suppressed on both parties without apparant matter and Step-mothers Such husbands and wiues as marrie againe after the death of their first wiues or first husbands are carefully to remēber that they do not displease their wiues or their husbands which they now haue by ouermuch rehearsing of their first wife or first husband For the course condition of the world is such that husbands and wiues doe account and recouer things past better then things that be present And the reason is because no commoditie or felicitie is so great but it hath some griefe and displeasure and also some bitternesse mingled with it which so long as it is present grieueth vs sore but when it is one gone it leaueth no great feeling of it selfe behinde it and for that cause wee seeme to bee lesse troubled with sorrowes and discommodities past then with those that are present Also age stealeth and commeth on apace which causeth both men and women to be the lesse able to sustaine and indure troubles and griefes now then before Therefore such men and women as bee twise married and be wise and religious ought not to esteeme their wife or husband which is dead better then her or him which they enioy now aliue remembring the common prouerbe That we must liue by the quick and not by the dead and that wee must make much of that we now haue The very name of Stepfather and Stepmother teacheth them their dutie Let the name of
you of a great abuse which for the most part is committed in all Churches and which tendeth to the high dishonour of God which is this that neyther you your selues neyther your children nor seruants do knowe the time of your duties but you will then rise vp to men when both you and they should kneele downe to God as if one that is more honorable among you shall come into the church while you are vpon your knees in prayer vnto God presently you start vp and leaue God to reuerence men Is this religion is this deuotion becomming Gods house is not this all one as if a man should say stay GOD heere comes in my father my maister my worshipfull neighbour and my good friend to whom I am much beholden I must doe my dutie vnto him I must rise vp till hee bee past and then I will come to thee againe What is this but to preferre men before God this doing plainely sheweth that such are louers of men more then God and that such as take this dutie and reuerence vpon them are robbers of Gods honour and they shall answere him for it Is there no time to shewe our dutie towards men but euen then when wee are about Gods seruice Why know thou when man standeth before God how honourable so euer hee bee hee is but dung and filth and not to bee regarded and let Parents learne this wisedome that while they are taught their duties towards men it is not to robbe God of his worship but there is an appoynted time to euery dutie and purpose as Ecclesiastes in his third chapter well admonisheth Eccles 3.1 To all things there is an appoynted time and a time to euery purpose vnder the heauen It is recorded of Leuie to his eternall praise Deut. 33.9 that in Gods cause he said of his father and mother I see him not neither knâ—w he his bretheren nor his owne children euen so beloued our eyes and our minds deuotions should be so fixed and intent vpon God when wee are in his seruice that wee should not see or regard any man in that while And againe we reade in the second chapter of the Gospell after S. Iohn of our Sauiour himselfe who though he was the most dutifull childe that euer was borne of woman yet when hee was about his fathers businesse hee saith vnto his mother Woman Ioh. 2.4 what haue I to do with thee which examples will teach vs that when we are a bout Gods seruice all other duties must sleepe and be laid apart 3. The third dutie of good manners to bee obserued in their gesture is to stand while their betters are sitting in place example of this wee haue in holy Abraham of his entertaining of the two strangers as it is written Gen. 18.8 And he tooke butter and milke and the calfe which hee had prepared and set before them and stood by himselfe vnder the tree and they did eat Well may Abraham be called the father of the faithfull for giuing his children so good example 4. Their fourth dutie is to bend the knee in token of humilitie and subiection example of this Mar. 10.17 1 King 2.19 4. The first thing is that they giue the chiefe place to their betters and to offer the same to others in curtesie 1. King 2.11 Luke 14.8.9.10 Pro. 1â— 33 and 16.18 6. Their last dutie is to vncouer their head And though wee finde no example for this in holy scripture as beeing not vsed in those former times yet seeing the thing is ciuill and comely and one of the speciall curtesies of our daies we will confirme it also with the authoritie of Gods word Phil. 4.8 Whatsoeuer things are honest whatsoeuer things are of good report those things do And again 1 Cor. 14 40. Let all things be done decently and according to order But this kind of ciuilitie is both decent and according to order as also honest and of good report and therefore warranted and commended by Gods word and so worthy to be followed Therefore if our children bee not thus trained vp in nurture while they be yong when they be olde they shall be found so head-strong that they will not be gouerned but this consequent must needes follow that all order shall bee taken away and then confusion must needs ensue For if nourture be neglected then our elders and gouernours shall not bee reuerenced if they be not reuerenced they will not be regarded if they be not regarded they will not be obeyed and if they be not obeyed then steps in rebellion and euery one will do what he listeth These vices and great abuses are to bee reformed and with speede amended not onely of many parents and maisters themselues but also that they labour with all diligence that they may be redressed and amended in their children and seruants first the grosse ignorance in the grounds of christian religion which yet remaineth in any Parents Maisters and their families who giue themselues to sleepe in the church to talke one with another to turne ouer their bookes there and vsing of their owne priuate deuotions or praiers in the time of publike preaching and prayer all which no doubt are greeuous sinnes and transgressions and besides many absent theÌ„selues from holy exercises and specially vppon the Lords day then lying in their beds haunting of Ale-houses and tauernes riding and going abroad about their worldly affaires for pleasure and profit beeing also wearie whilst they be present at prayers and preaching seldom do they preuent or come before prayers nay many come in the midst thereof to the great disturbance of the same and others that are there and some againe before the sermons are ended other some after the prayers made and before the singing of the Psalmes and the vsual blessing to be pronounced depart thence whereof they as wel as those that tarrie should bee partakers posting also out of the church as it were from a play or may-game as though they supposed that no more reuerence should be shewed there then in other places or that some part of diuine seruice belonged vnto them and not vnto other some whereas in very trueth euery one ought to be alike partakers of the whole And how should wee looke for any goodnesse from God where this that is the seede of all sinne and the nurse of al abhominations raigneth and swaieth so much Let such as are fathers and mothers and haue children know in what sort they must be carefull for them Their children are a good blessings of God they be members of the body of Christ Math. 16.14 and the sonnes of God The kingdome of heauen belongeth to theÌ„ God hath appoynted his Angels to guide and leade them and to shield them from euill and their Angels bee in the presence of God and do behold the face of their father which is in heauen They be fresh plants of the church Who knoweth what necessary instruments they may be in the house
sooner shall hee learne his occupation and the more readie and handsomer shall he◠bee about the same And besides this hee that hath learning although it bee but small shall much better vnderstand the Preachers and take more profit by hearing of them to his great and endlesse comfort then hee that hath no learning Experience also teacheth vs this that goods riches beautie glorie and health bee vnstable and fade perish passe away come and goe but learning and vertue neuer stagger alway bee constant Therefore of all the charges that Parents bee about their children that mony is best bestowed that is layed out vppon learning especially when they are taught to know God aright and how hee will be serued It is a lamentable thing to consider how carelesse some Parents are of their children when they put them to the schoole in that they make no small account and reckoning to what schoolemaister they put their children to learn so they may haue thē taught for litle or no cost though their children profit litle or nothing in learning so that oftentimes they not onely bestowe their money in vaine but also they suffer their children to loose their time which is a thing so precious as it cānot be redeemed with any mony and so to let them spend two or three yeares in learning of that which they might by the diligence and orderly teaching of a skilful schoolemaister learne in lesse then half this time if there be any aptnesse towardnesse in their childrē Therfore let parents remember that as the goodnesse of the ground is not much profitable for corne vnlesse there bee a meet husbandman to till and sow the same so likewise it is not ynough to finde good towardnesse in your children vnlesse you prouide a meete fit Schoolemaster to further the same And as Noble-men and Gentlemen are desirous to haue a good and skilfull hors-keeper that can keepe their horses wel they spare not to giue stipends to such euen so much more ought christian Parents be desirous to haue and maintaine a good schoolemaster that might bring vp their children in vertue wisedome and good learning And like as if their horse be not wel brokē or haue any euil quality they wil be careful to see it remedied and that he may be made tractable and gentle so likewise godly parents ought to be much more careful not only that their childrē may by instruction be brought to some good order but also to look that there be no fault in the teacher to whom they commit the care to bring them vp in learning good manners Why some men bring not vp their children to any good perfection in learning But alas and with griefe be it spoken many men now a daies albeit they perceiue their children to be forward apt vnto letters and capable to receiue good learning hauing wealth and riches ynough to maintaine them thereat yet will they not suffer them to continue thereat vntill they come to any good perfection some because they themselues doe not like of our state and religion other some because they see little preferment and no worldly aduantage to follow learning but great trouble and affliction all which men in this doing declare themselues to be irreligious vngodly and destroyers both of themselues their children and of all Commonwealthes and Congregations For what publike Wealth Towne Cittie or Parish can bee well gouerned without the Prince Magistrate and Preacher bee learned both in humaine and diuine lawes In times past when ignorance and superstition was accounted good deuotion at which time men saw so many spiritual promotions as they then called them vnto rich Bishoppricks Abbeyes Priories Deaneries benefices c. then they would let for no cost to haue their children learned in some sorte to the end they might get them to be Priests and so to say Masse and the rest of that Idolatrous seruice that so they might liue in ease aed idlenesse But now they see how painefull and perilous a charge it is to preach rightly to diuide Gods word and to deliuer the same freely and faithfully also how vnthankfull an office and calling it is to gouerne well a Congregation that they had rather their children should be bound prentices to some trade or else to follow any other profession then that they should studie diuinitie When children were nothing apt to good learning and when there was no good learning to be had no nor good teachers yet then well was he that might set his childe to schoole But now when youth was neuer so apt to good learning as it is at this day and learning and al good meanes neuer so plenteously florishing beeing restored and reduced into such a facility and a compendious cleare briefnesse yea neuer so good learned and skilfull Schoole maisters neuer so plentie of so good and plaine bookes printed neuer so good cheape the holy Ghost mercifully offering his gifts as it were into the mouthes of all men and yet alas but few there be that wil opē their mouthes to receiue them their eyes to see so cleare light nor yet their eares to heare so pure manifest wholesome and heauenly doctrine euen the word of God the meanes of their saluation It is therefore to be feared that for this our great vnthankfulnesse these so manifolde heauenly blessings shal be taken from vs and giuen to some other nation that will both be more thankfull for them and also shew forth better fruits of christianitie then we hitherto haue done Oh therfore that parents would aduisedly consider that for want of this christian dutie of the good education of their children is the onely cause of great mischiefe and much misery both vppon children and themselues yea in truth it is from hence that so much sorrow griefe and shame befalleth many times vpon fathers and mothers And how commeth this to passe that the Parents owne dung is cast in their faces by their owne children in mocking and despising of them and whence arise all these inconueniences before named togither with all these grieuous plagues iudgements of God vpon their children to the consuming of their eyes but from this their owne negligence in bringing vp their children for it is euen iust with God that seeing they haue offended him in the greatest blessings they should bee plagued with the fame thing wherein they offended with his greatest iudgements O you vnnaturall parents the rich man in hell shall rise vp against you Luke 16.27 in the day of iudgement and condemne you for he being in hell had a care of his fathers house that they might be forewarned and therefore desired Abraham to send Lazarus to his brethren to testifie vnto them that they came not into that place of torment but you will not admonish your children you will not teach them Moses and the Prophets and you will not shew them the danger of Gods heauie displeasure hanging ouer their heads
the earnest penny of my goodnes and grace toward thee But now seeing the whole earth is blessed to the faithfull the promise of long life vpon the earth is vnto vs also a blessing of God First because wee can not liue long without participating in many and great benefits of God euen in respect of the preseruation of this present life Secondly because the faithfull may the longer employ themselues to serue and glorifie God In consideration whereof we see what the Church in old time said The dead praise not the Lord Psa 115.17.18 neither any that goe downe into the place of silence But we will prayse the Lord from henceforth and for euer The same doth Hezechia King of Iudah also note in his canticle Esay 38.19 The liuing the liuing he shall confesse thee as I doe this day The father to the children shall declare thy trueth In as much therefore as long life is promised as a blessing God doth continue is to obedient children so long as it is a blessing vnto thē And hereupon doth S. Paul ioyne togither these two sentences That it may goe well with thee Ephe. 6.5 and that thou mayest liue long vpon the earth As also when God taketh away such obedient children before they be old yea before they come vnto mans state whether it be least malice should corrupt their hearts or to preuent some great calamities wherein they might peraduēture be entangled or vpō whatsoeuer other considerations to receiue them into a better life he doth faithfully performe his promise vnto such children because he dealeth better then promise with thē But as contrariwise this promise threatneth such children as will not honor their parents with short life so doth experience declare that many such children are of short and wretched life But if contrariwise such disobedient children doe chance to liue long so far is long life from being vnto thē a blessing that to the contrary it is an enforcement and increase of woe because they enlarge their iust condēnation so as they had beene better to haue died in their youth But howsoeuer it bee God so disposeth hereof that by the effects we may perceiue that they which honor their parents are blessed and the others accursed Eccle. 3.2 c. And although some parēts do not performe those duties towards their children inioyned thē from the Lord yet such children as liue wickedly must know that they are not exempt and free frō blame guiltines before God For though they can say as the children in Ezechiels time said The fathers haue eaten sowre grapes and the childrens teeth are set on edge we say that though the occasion be offered of such vngodly and wicked parents yet the cause of destruction is still in the children themselues And besides that it is sure that the soule that hath sinned shall die the death Seeing there be some yong men maids who notwithstanding the great prophanenesse of the most the manifold corruptions offered abroad the vngodly examples abounding at home are so mightily preserued by the seed of grace that they escape safely in an holy course of life lamenting when they see the least occasion of euill reioycing in the least occasion of good things The rest who please themselues and hope to shelter their sins vnder their parents defaults are plainely left without excuse are iustly guiltie of the blood of their owne sinnes Labour therefore ye yong men and maidens to wipe away the teares of griefe from your fathers eies stay the mournfull sorrowful spirits of your tender mothers and consider in your selues if yee haue any nature in you haue not buried the vse of common reason what a shame it is to be a shame vnto your fathers to whō ye ought to be a glory thinke ye wanton wits that haue not cast off all naturall affections what a contempt it is to be a contempt vnto your mothers to whom you haue offered as it were a despightfull violence in that yee are a corrosiue to her griefe when as ye should haue bin a crowne vnto her comforts Learne therefore ye children that it is one special propertie of a liberal ingenious nature to bee careful so to liue that in time yee may be a glory to your fathers a ioy to your mothers which the Lord for his Christs sake grant These precepts admonitions before said are as a Sūmarie of the duties of children to their parents And therefore it resteth that they vnderstanding them doe pray vnto God to giue them grace to put them in practise to his glory and their good and saluation Lastly let them remember that God is not more inclined to heare any prayers then such as parents doe powre forth for their children As they are therefore to feare their curse for offending thē so must they by honouring and pleasing them seeke to bee blessed in their prayers which are blessings ratified vnto them in heauen as the blessing of Isaac to his sonne Jacob doe manifestly declare Genes 27.28.29 What duties Masters and Mistresses owe to their seruants The householder is called Pater familias that is a father of a familie because hee should haue a fatherly care ouer his seruants as if they were his children THis dutie teacheth them that they are become in stead of parents vnto their seruants which dutie consisteth in foure points 1. First that they refraine and keepe their seruants from idlenesse 2. Secondly that by diligent instruction and good example they bring vp their seruants and housholds in honestie comely manners and in all vertue 3. Thirdly that they ought to instruct their apprentices and seruants in the knowledge of their occupations and trades euen as parents would teach their owne children without all guile fraud delaying or concealing And lastly when correction is necessary Masters and Dames ought moderately to vse their authoritie ouer their seruants Ephes 6.9 that then they giue it them with such discretion pitie and desire of their amendment as louing parents vse to deale with their deare childrē remembring alway that they haue a master in heauen before whom they must make an account for their doings These foure points are in effect spokē of before in the dutie of parents For so much as masters and householders are to their seruants and prentices in place of fathers they are hereby admonished that they ought not to withhold and keepe backe their due wages to exact of them to oppresse them or to reward their wel doing Iam. 5.4 Col. 4.1 Iob. 31.13.14.15 Deut. 24.14.15 good deseruing slenderly but to be careful of their seruants good estate as of their own not only in prouiding for them wholesome meat drinke lodging and otherwise to helpe them comfort them and relieue and cherish them as wel in sicknesse as in health Mat. 8.5.6 Luke 7.2 liberally to reward their good deseruings as farre as christianitie liberalitie and equalitie shall