As I before remembred all our state And God consigning to my good intents No prince nor peere shall haue iust cause to say God shorten Harries happy life one day exit Enter sir Iohn Shallow Scilens Dauy Bardolfe page Shal. Nay you shall see my orchard where in an arbour we will eate a last yeeres pippen of mine owne graffing with a dish of carrawaies and so forth come coosin Scilens and then to bed Falst. Fore God you haue here goodly dwelling and rich Shal. Barraine barraine barraine beggars all beggars all sir Iohn mary good ayre spread Dauy spread Dauy well saide Dauy. Fal. This Dauy serues you for good vses hee is your seruing-man and your husband Shal. A good varlet a good varlet a very good varlet sir Iohn by the mas I haue drunke too much sacke at supper a good varlet now sit downe now sit downe come cosin Scilens A sirra quoth a we shall do nothing but eate and make good cheere and praise God for the merry yeere when â—lesh is cheape and females dear and lusty laddes roame here and there so merely and euer among so merily sir Iohn There 's a merry heart good M. Silens I le giue you a health for that anon Shal. Giue master Bardolfe some wine Dauy. Dauy Sweet sir sit I le be with you anon most sweet sir sit master Page good master Page sit proface what you want in meate wee le haue in drink but you must beare the heart's al. Shal. Be mery master Bardolfe and my litle souldier there be merry Scilens Be merry be mery my wife has all for women are shrowes both short and tall t is merry in hal when beards wags all and welcome mery shrouetide be mery be mery Falst. I did not thinke master Scilens had bin a man of this mettall Scilens Who I I haue beene mery twice and once ere now Enter Dauy. Dauy There 's a dish of Lether-coates for you Shal. Dauy Dauy Your worship I le be with you straight a cup of wine sir. Scilens A cup of wine that 's briske and fine and drinke vnto the leman mine and a mery heart liuâ—â— long a. Falst. Well said master Scilens Scilens And we shall be mery now comes in the sweete a' th night Falst Health and long life to you master Scilens Scilens Fill the cuppe and let it come I le pledge you a mile too th bottome Shal. Honest Bardolfe welcome if thou wantst any thing and wilt not call be shrew thy heart welcome my little tiny theefe and welcome indeede too I le drink to master Bardolfe and to all the cabileros about London Dauy I hope to see London once ere I die Bar. And I might see you there Dauy Shal. By the mas you le crack a quarte together ha will you not master Bardolfe Bar. Yea sir in a pottle pot Sha. By Gods liggens I thanke thee the knaue will sticke by thee I can assure thee that a wil not out a t is true bred Bar. And I le stick by him sir. One knockes at doore Sha. Why there spoke a King lacke nothing be mery looke who 's at doore there ho who knockes Falst. Why now you haue done me right Sâ—lens Do me right and dub me Knight samingoâ—ist not so Falst. T is so Silens I st so why then say an olde man can do somewhat Dauy And t please your worship there 's one Pistoll come from the court with newes enter Pistol Falst. From the Court let him come in how now Pistol Pistol Sir Iohn God saue you Falst. What wind blew you hither Pistol Pistol Not the ill winde which blowes no man to good sweete Knight thou art now one of the greatest men in this Realme Silens Birlady I think a bâ— but goodman Puffe of Barson Pisto Puffe Puffe ith thy teeth most recreant coward base sir Iohn I am thy Pistol and thy frend and helter skelter haue I rode to thee and tidings do I bring and luckie ioyes and golden times and happy news of price Iohn I pray thee now deliuer them like a man of this world Pistol A footre for the world and worldlings base I speake of Affrica and golden ioyes Iohn O base Assirian Knight what is thy newes let King Couetua know the truth thereof Scilens And Robin Hood Scarlet and Iohn Pistol Shal dunghill curs confront the Helicons and shall good newes be baffled then Pistoll lay thy head in Furies lap Shal. Honest gentleman I know not your breeding Pistol Why then lament therefore Shal. Giue me pardon sir if sir you come with newes from the court I take it there 's but two waies either to vtter them or conceale them I am sir vnder the King in some authoritie Pistol Vnder which King Besonian speake or die Shal. Vnder King Harry Pistol Harry the fourth or fift Shal. Harry the fourth Pist A fowtre for thine office sir Iohn thy tender lambkin now is King Harry the fifts the man I speake the truth when Pistol lies do this and fig me like the bragging spaniard Falst. What is the old King dead Pistol As nayle in doore the things I speake are iust Fal. Away Bardolfe saddle my horse M. Robert Shallow choose what office thou wilt in the land t is thine Pistol I will double charge thee with dignities Bard. O ioyful day I would not take a Knight for my fortune Pistol What I do bring good newes Falst. Carry master Scilens to bed master Shallow my lord Shalow be what thou wilt I am fortunes steward get on thy boots wee l ride al night ô sweet Pistol away Bardolf com Pistol vtter more to me and withall deuise something to doe thy selfe good boote boote master Shallow I know the yong King is sicke for me let vs take any mans horses the lawes of England are at my commandement blessed are they that haue bin my friends and woe to my Lord chiefe Iustice. Pist. Let vultures vile seize on his lungs also where is the life that late I led say they why here it is welcome these plesant dayes exit Enter Sincklo and three or foure officers Host. No thou arrant knaue I would to God that I might die that I might haue thee hangd thou hast drawn my shoulder out of ioynt Sincklo The Constables haue deliuered her ouer to mee and shee shal haue whipping cheere I warrant her there hath beene a man or two kild about her Whoore Nut-hooke Nut-hooke you lie come on I le tell thee what thou damnd tripe visagde rascall and the child I go with do miscarry thou wert better thou hadst strook thy mother thou paper-facde villaine Host. O the Lord that sir Iohn were come I would make this a bloody day to some body but I pray God the fruite of her wombe miscarry Sincklo If it doe you shall haue a dozzen of cushions againe you haue but eleuen nowe come I charge you both goe with mee for the man is dead that you and Pistoll
of Lancaster against the Archbishop and the Earle of Northumberland Iohn Yea I thanke your prety sweet witte for it but looke you pray all you that kisse my lady Peace at home that our armies ioyne not in a hote day for by the Lord I take but two shirts out with me and I meane not to sweate extraordinarily if it be a hot day I brandish any thing but a bottle I would I might neuer spit white again there is not a dangerous action can peepe out his head but I am thrust vpon it Wel I cannot last euer but it was alway yet the tricke of our English nation if they haue a good thing to make it too common If yee will needs say I am an olde man you should giue me rest I would to God my name were not so terrible to the enemy as it is I were better to be eaten do death with a rust than to be scoured to nothing with perpetuall motion Lord Well be honest be honest and God blesse your expedition Iohn Will your lordship lend me a thousand pound to furnish me forth Lord Not a penny not a penny you are too impatient to beare crosses fare you well commend mee to my coosine Westmerland Iohn If I do fillip me with a three man beetle A man can no more separate age and couetousnesse than a can part yong limbs and lechery but the gowt galles the one and the pox pinches the other and so both the degrees preuent my curses boy Boy Sir Iohn What money is in my purse Boy Seuen groates and two pence Iohn I can get no remedy against this consumption of the purse borrowing onely lingers and lingers it out but the disease is incurable Go beare this letter to my lord of Lancaster this to the Prince this to the Earle of Westmerland and this to olde mistris Vrsula whome I haue weekely sworne to marry since I perceiud the first white haire of my chin about it you know where to finde me a pox of this gowt or a gowt of this pox for the one or the other playes the rogue with my great toe T is no matter if I doe hault I haue the warres for my color and my pension shal seeme the more reasonable a good wit will make vse of any thing I will turne diseases to commoditie Exeunt Enter th' Archbishop Thomas Mowbray Earle Marshall the Lord Hastings Fauconbridge and Bardolfe Bishop Thus haue you heard our cause and knowne our meanes And my most noble friends I pray you al Speake plainely your opinions of our hopes And first Lord Marshall what say you to it Marsh. I well allow the occasion of our armes But gladly would be better satisfied How in our meanes we should aduance ourselues To looke with forehead bold and big enough Vpon the power and puissance of the King Hast. Ou◠〈…〉 musters grow vpon the file To fiue aâ—d tweâ—ty thousand men of choise And our supplies liue largely in the hope Of great Northumberland whose bosome burnes With an incensed fire of iniuries Bard. The question then Lord Hastings standeth thus Whether our present fiue and twentie thousand May hold vp head without Northumberland Hast. With him we may Bard. Yea mary there 's the point But if without him we be thought too feeble My iudgement is we should not step too far Bish. T is very true lord Bardolfe for indeede It was yong Hot-spurs cause at Shrewsbury Bard. It was my Lord who lined himselfe with hope Eating the ayre and promise of supplie Flattring himselfe in proiect of a power Much smaller then the smallest of his thoughts And so with great imagination Proper to mad-men led his powers to death And winking leapt into destruction Hast. But by your leaue it neuer yet did hurt To lay downe likelihoods and formes of hope Bard. We fortifie in paper and in figures Vsing the names of men in steed of men Like on that drawes the model of an house Beyond his power to build it who halfe thorough Giues ore and leaues his part-created cost A naked subiect to the weeping clowdes And waste for churlish winters tyrannie Hast. Grant that our hopes yet likely of faire birth Should be stil borne and that we now possest The vtmost man of expectation I thinke we are so body strong enough Euen as we are to equal with the King Bard. What is the King but â—iue and twenty thousand Hast. To vs no more nay not so much 〈◊〉 Bardolfe For his diuisions as the times do brawle And in three heads one power against the French And one against Glendower perforce a third Must take vp vs so is the vnfirme King In three diuided and his coffers sound With hollow pouertie and emptinesse Bish. That he should draw his seuerall strengths togither And come against vs in full puissance Need not to be dreaded Hast. If he should do so French and Welch he leaues his back vnarmde they baying him at the heeles neuer feare that Bar. Who is it like should leade his forces hither Hast. The Duke of Lancaster and Westmerland Against the Welsh himself and Harry Monmouth But who is substituted against the French I haue no certaine notice Bish. Shall we go draw our numbers and set on Hast. We are Times subiects and Time bids be gone ex Enter Hostesse of the Tauerne and an Officer or two Hostesse Master Phang haue you entred the action Phang It is entred Host. Where 's your yeoman i st a lusty yeoman wil a stand too 't Phang Sirra where 's Snare Host. O Lord I good master Snare Snare Here here Phang Snare we must arest sir Iohn Falstaffe Host. Yea good master Snare I haue entred him and all Snare It may chaunce cost some of vs our liues for he will stabbe Host. Alas the day take heed of him he stabd me in mine owne house most beastly in good faith a cares not what mischiefe he does if his weapon be out he will foyne like any diuell he will spare neither man woman nor child Phang If I can close with him I care not for his thrust Host. No nor I neither le be at your elbow Phang And I but fist him once and a come but within my view Host. I am vndone by his going I warrant you hee s an infinitiue thing vppon my score good maister Phang holde him sure good master Snare let him not scape a comes continually to Pie corner sauing your manhoods to buy a saddle and he is indited to dinner to the Lubbers head in Lumbert streete to master Smooths the silk man I pray you since my exion is entred and my case so openly knowne to the worlde let him be brought in to his answer a hundred marke is a long one for a poore lone woman to beare and I haue borne and borne and borne and haue bin fubd off and fubd off and fubd off from this day to that day that it is a shame to be thought on there is no honesty
in such dealing vnlesse a woman should be made an asse and a beast to beare euery knaues wrong yonder he comes and that arrant malmsie-nose knaue Bardolfe with him do your offices do your offices master PhaÌ„g master Snare do me do me do me your offices Enter sir Iohn and Bardolfe and the boy Falst. How now whose mare's dead what 's the matter Phang I arrest you at the sute of mistris quickly Falst. Away varlets draw Bardolfe cut me off the villaines head throw the queane in the channell Host. Throw me in the channell I le throw thee in the channel wilt thou wilt thou thou bastardly rogue murder murder a thou honisuckle villaine wilt thou kill Gods officers and the Kings a thou honiseed rogue thou art a honiseed a man queller and a woman queller Falst. Keepe them off Bardolfe Offic. A reskew a reskew Host. Good people bring a reskew or two thou wot wot thou thou wot wot ta do do thou rogue do thou hempseed Boy Away you scullian you rampallian you fustilarian I le tickle your catastrophe Enter Lord chiefe iustice and his men Lord What is the matter keepe the peace here ho. Hostesse Good my lord be good to me I beseech you stand to me Lord How now sir Iohn what are you brawling here Doth this become your place your time and businesse You should haue bin well on your way to Yorke Stand from him fellow wherefore hang'st thou vpon him Host. O my most worshipful Lord and 't please your grace I am a poore widdow of Eastâ—heape and he is arrested at my sute Lord For what summe Host. It is more then for some my Lord it is for al I haue he hath eaten me out of house and home he hath put all my substance into that fat belly of his but I will haue some of it out againe or I wil ride thee a nights like the mare Falst. I think I am as like to ride the mare if I haue any vantage of ground to get vp Lord How comes this sir Iohn what man of good temper would endure this tempest of exclamation are you not ashamed to inforce a poore widdow to so rough a course to come by her owne Falst. What is the grosse summe that I owe thee Host. Mary if thou wert an honest man thy selfe and the mony too thou didst sweare to me vpon a parcell guilt goblet sitting in my dolphin chamber at the round table by a sea cole fire vpon wednesday in Wheeson weeke when the prince broke thy head for liking his father to a singing man of Winsor thou didst sweare to me theÌ„ as I was washing thy wound to marry me and make me my lady thy wife canst thou deny 〈◊〉 did not goodwife Keech the butchers wife come in then and cal me gossip Quickly comming in to borow a messe of vinegar telling vs she had a good dish of prawnes whereby thou didst desire to eate some whereby I told thee they were ill for a greene wound and didst thou not when she was gone down stayers desire me to be no more so familiarity with such poore people saying that ere long they should cal me madam and didst thou not kisse me and bid me fetch thee thirtie shillings I put thee now to thy booke oath dome it if thon canst Falst. My lord this is a poore madeâ—oule and she saies vp and downe the towne that her eldest sonne is like you she hath bin in good case and the trueth is pouerty hath distracted her but for these foolish officers I beseech you I may haue redresse against them Lo. Sir Iohn sir Iohn I am wel acquainted with your maner of wrenching the true cause the false way it is not a confident brow nor the throng of words that come with such more then impudent sawcines from you can thrust me from a leuel conâ—ideration you haue as it appeares to me practisde vpon the easie yeelding spirite of this woman and made her serue your vses both in purse and in person Host. Yea in truth my Lord. Lo. Pray thee peace pay her the debt you owe her and vnpay the villany you haue done with her the one you may doe with sterling mony and the other with currant repentance Falst. My Lord I will not vndergoe this snepe without reply you cal honorable boldnes impudent sawcinesse if a man wil make curtsie and say nothing he is vertuous no my Lord my humble duty remembred I will not bee your sâ—â—er I say to you I do desire deliuerance from these officers being vpon hasty imployment in the Kings affayres Lord You speake as hauing power to do wrong but answer in th' effect of your reputation and satisfie the poore woman Falst. Come hither hostesse Lord Now master Gower what newes enter a messenger Gower The King my Lord and Harry prince of Wales Are neare at hand the rest the paper tells Falst. As I am a gentleman Host. Faith you said so before Falst. As I am a gentleman come no more words of it Host. By this heaunly ground I tread on I must be faine to pawne both my plate the tapestry of my dining chambers Falst. Glasses glasses is the onely drinking and for thy wals a pretty sleight drollery or the storie of the prodigal or the Iarman hunting in waterworke is worth a thousand of these bed-hangers and these flie bitten tapestrie let it be x. â— if thou canst come and t were not for thy humors there 's not a better wench in England goe wash thy face and draw the action come thou must not be in this humor with me dost not know me come come I know thou wast set on to this Host. Pray thee sir Iohn let it be but twentie nobles ifaith I am loath to pawne my pâ—â—te so God saue me law Falst. Let it alone I le make other shift you le be a foole stil. Host. Well you shall haue it though I pawne my gowne I hope you le come to supper you le pay me altogether Falst. Wil I liue goe with her with her hooke on hooke on exit hostesse and sergeant Host. Will you haue Doll Tere-sheet meete you at supper Falst. No more words le ts haue her Lord I haue heard better newes Falst. What 's the newes my lord Lord Where lay the King to night Mess. At Billingsgate my Lord. Falst. I hope my Lord al 's wel what is the newes my lord Lord Come all his forces backe Mess. No fifteen hundred foot fiue hundred horse Are marcht vp to my lord of Lancaster Against Northumberland and the Archbishop Falst. Comes the King back from Wales my noble lord Lord You shall haue letters of me presently Come go along with me good master Gower Falst. My lord Lord What 's the matter Falstaffe Maister Gower shall I intreate you with mee to dinner Gower I must waite vpon my good lord here I thank you good sir Iohn Lord Sir Iohn you loyter heere too long Being you are to