sincerely if he should be kill'd now and I lose my Guinny 't would be fine work Olds. What Noise was that I thought I heard one whisper the clashing of Swords but 't may be 't was only the Watch passing by Well I 'll make haste to Bed and to morrow reconcile my self to my Dove it may be I am misinform'd and have done her wrong I must know the truth on 't How now what a Devil have we here a String ty'd to a Bell As he 's going he stumbles at the string That hangs from the Window into the Street I 'll see what this means I am resolv'd here may be another discovery before George 't is so Here 's another plot going forward I 'm certain on 't But I 'll be even with her for I 'll watch I 'll see what this New Project means Pimp stands close in the Corner of the Balcony Welf. returns below Welf. So they are gone at last and now to find this Bell that my young Gallant was speaking of I am resolv'd to defer my Intrigue with Christina so long This by the quaintness of it should be a plot of Trickloves and I 'll see what welcome I shall have that come unexpected oh here it is now Fortune Pulls the string Olds. Some body pull'd the string and the Bell rung list ha again ay 't is some Rascal and I 'll be his Porter immediately Exit Pimp Oh how I shake oh oh Madam Madam we are undone discover'd oh oh Welf. The Bell is taken in a sign I suppose of her coming so fall all 's well Enter Tricklove and Cornet above Trick Death and Hell discover'd again curst fortune Sir Sir sweet Sir begone begone our Intrigue's discover'd the old man's coming away you are lost else Cornet do you run out and stop him at a distance till I have made up the business within and then privately convey him hither for I 'm resolv'd not to lose him so Exeunt Welf. Th' old Man a good caution and I 'll follow it tho' I see 't was meant to another Ex. Welford Enter Henry Henr. The Coast is clear once more I think the Devil and his Imps are abroad to Night with an intent to hinder honest Night-walkers I 'll try once more Olds. comes out at the Door Oh Heav'n what the Door open and my dear Creature ready to receive me a thousand thanks to Fate for this blessing Ah my dearest Kisses Oldsapps Hand who leads him in the Scene being chang'd returns Olds. Ah Rascal now I think I have snapt you finely Within Lights Lights Lights bring the Musket and two-handed Sword hither quickly Lights Lights Henr. Surpriz'd oh I am in an Ague what shall I do will my damn'd Fortune never leave me Aside Enter Tricklove below Trick Oh Heav'n he has not heard me but is come in This is the most spiteful of all Minutes However I 've a trick left Ex. Tricklove Olds. ' Sbud are you all dead what hoa Lights here Lights Henr. Never a Chimney nor Window nor nothing to make my escape S'death catcht like a Mouse in a Trap. Olds. Why when you lazy Dogs when I say Enter Tricklove with Pimpo below Night Clothes Trick Do it well counterfeit your self drunk and feign as if you mistook him for Cornet and five Guinnies are thine Pimp I 'll warrant you Five Guinnies odsniggers I 'll venture hard for 't there there 's the Closset-Door away Sir away Guides him to Trick and goes and stands in 's place Olds. Why Rascals Sons of Whores will you never come before George I 'll make a Bonefire of ye Drowzy slaves come Sir Enter Servants with lights Gives a light into Oldsapps hand Where are you How Sirrah what makes you here To Pimpo Pimp By Fortune sincerely meer Fortune Prethee let me kiss thee sweeting odsnigs I 'll lye with thee for this kindness Olds. Away ye drunken Rascal but where where 's this Night-Walker I 'm sure the Door 's lockt he cannot be gone Pimp Prethee dear Rogue lend me thy Candle to go to Bed Olds. Away ye sawcy drunken Rogue why Sirrah are you blind don't you know your Master Pimp How my Master I hope not so Well if you are my Master thank you for letting me in sincerely I 'll see if I can find the way to Bed in the Dark and so good-boy t' ee Exit reeling Olds. What a pox can this mean Enter Tricklove in a Night-Gown Trick So I 'll second this it begins well What still more disturbances will you never be quiet I wonder what the Devil you unty'd the Bell for Oh my side Olds. What the Devil did you tye it there for Trick What! old jealous Brains I 'll tell you for what The poor Fellow askt me leave to go and be merry with some of his Friends and because he should not disturb you nor none of the House with his knocking to come in I contriv'd that Bell and order'd Cornet to let him in and you must take it away and make a bustle here for nothing Ah you are a muddy-pate Olds. Why did not the Rascal speak to me then before George I took him for another go get you to Bed again Exeunt Servants Trick No 't was your jealousie your jealousie ungrateful man Oh my side my side Weeps But come hither I 'll try you once more and if ever you suspect again I am resolv'd for ever to forsake ye Mr. Welford has long courted me without any return but to be reveng'd on his importunity I made an assignation with him this Night to meet him in the Garden Olds. Very well Trick You see what haste I make to him and I had told you of this before had you not vext me so to Night Now do you put on my Night-Cloaths and go thither instead of me in my shape you may easily have opportunity of snatching his Sword and then be sure to beat him soundly And when you have reveng'd your self sufficiently Consider ungrateful Man what reason you have to be jealous Oh my side Olds. Well before George thou art mine again and this discovery has made amends for all and thou stands as clear in my thoughts as ever My dear dear Rogue prethee forgive what 's past Come the Night-Cloaths for I 'll thither instantly I 'll swinge him faith Puts on the Gown c. Trick To be jealous without cause is the worst of Ingratitudes but you know my good nature Oh sick sick Olds. Alas poor Rogue so so I do in troth well have but patience till I come back I 'll let thee see how much I think my self oblig'd ah a watching Rascal I 'll be even with ye presently Ex Oldsapp Trick Ha ha ha so farewel threescore and three and now to my frighted Friend yonder in the Closet I am sure not to be interrupted these two hours and when he comes back again I 'll tell him Welford's coming might be hinder'd by some accident I 'll wheadle him into
half year and more and who knows but this may be a trick upon you by his means Olds. VVhat he in love with my Sneaky Lov. Ay Sir that I can assure you why did you never take notice on 't Did you never see 'em together Olds. Yes often but I never doubted any thing for before George I always took him for a very honest Fellow Lov. VVhy Sir who doubts it he is so a very honest Fellow and tho' he lies with your VVife your Sister your Aunt your Kinswoman your Mistress your Olds. The Devil and all my Mistress before George that word enraged me beyond all patience and he shall know that invading a Man's Propriety in his Mistress is Death by Wenching Law and he deserves the stab I 'll murder him instantly Lov. Sir know me so much your Friend that if my Sword and Arm can do you any service to revenge your wrongs you shall command me Olds. Sir I thank ye but I 've another way to work with him which shall be done suddenly and so farewel But hark ye if you 'l do me the favour to let me see you at my House this Evening I have a secret to deliver to you in which you may sensibly oblige me Till then I 'll take my leave Ex. Oldsapp Lov. Sir I will not fail ye Happy minute Fortune in this is more my Friend than ever for I have long lov'd this VVoman but he keeps her so close that I could never get access to her and that he should introduce me 't is a pleasant one ifaith my disclosing Welfords Intrigue furthers my own design for when he 's remov'd I have more freedom 'T is not so like a Friend but 't is like a Man of pleasure and that 's the rule I must walk by Ex. Lovel SCENE II. Tricklove's Chamber Enter Welford Madam Tricklove and Pimpo Pimp WHY Sir I tell you once more I found him gone unty'd and gone Welf. How was 't possible Rascal he could get loose if you had plaid the faithful Servant and ty'd him last enough Pimp I know not what you mean by that but if a new Rope strong enough to hang us all could tye him fast enough I am sure I did it ah would it were to do again I would think better on 't sincerely M. Trickl And so would I you should not get such power over me if it were to do again Welf. What has this notorious dissembling Rascal taught you a fit of the Conscience too Faith I am more in love with the humour than ever it shews thee a discreet ingenious Woman and such a one if she has a scruple arises in her Conscience which is very seldom it shall be sure to be after the business is done for then she is at leisure M. Trick Well I swear Mr. Welford this insulting temper of yours will lessen my love to you what Woman could bear this especially from a Man that has had so many evident proofs of my kindness as you have Welf. Nay rather than put you to the trouble of squeezing out a tear I will confess my self ungrateful but here 's a Rascal that tho' he looks like a Fifth-Monarchy-Man and talks like a Quaker has a Conscience tougher than a Buck-Skin is a greater Atheist than a Bully that owns it his profession and for mischief Pimp What mischief Sir what mischief sincerely I am asham'd to hear you talk thus and wonder how you can have the face to abuse an honest worthy person thus For as great a Rascal as you make of him there are some Gentlemen that shall be nameless are glad to keep him company and thank him too when they have occasion to make use of his parts Welf. Ay Sirrah a Rascal like a Bullet is then only necessary when we intend to do mischief but what excuse canst thou have for thy last pranck didst not thou tye thee poor old Gentleman to a Tree was not that a great Crime Pimp And did not you in the mean time lye with his Mistress was not that a greater Crime M. Trick How Sirrah with me why thou impudent ugly impertinent sneaking dissembling cheating lying Son of a Whore ud's life lend me your Sword that I may cut his Nose off Pimp Nay nay if she be provok'd 't is time to run sincerely I had rather lye at the mercy of a Thunder-Bolt and less harm 't wou'd do me Ex. Pimp running Welf. Ha ha ha 't is such an old Rascal but I think 't is best for me to consider of my safety for if the old Fellow is got loose there 's no staying for me here thou knowest 't is now almost Night and he cannot be long absent besides I want Linen Enter Cornet Cornet Madam Sir Fredrick Banter and Colonel Buff came into the House unknown to me and are just coming up M. Trick Pox take Sir Fredrick run and tell him I am not within Corn. Madam I did tell him so but he told me I ly'd he heard your Voice M. Trick A Devil o' your diligence Welf. Sir Fredrick Oh for Heavens sake Madam let me go I would not have him see me here for the World Ex. Welford M. Trick Death and Confusion what makes him here to disturb me Enter Sir Fredrick Col. Buff and Pimpo Sir Fred. Madam sweet Madam your humble and devoted Servant Colonel come now your Honour Col. Buff. Your Servant Lady Makes a clownish bow Sir Fred. Well said the Colonel is a Souldier Madam you must pardon his behaviour M. Trick Any thing Sir rather than give you the trouble of repeating it You Rogue are the cause of this Aside to Pimpo Pimp Ah! I see by her looks she 's vext at their being here but it 's all one she shall find I can resent an affront She shall sincerely M. Trick Sirrah do you think that I 'll ever put up this injury Pimp And do you think that I 'll exercise my learned faculty for nothing M. Trick Nothing Rascal do all mine and Mr. Welford's Gifts amount to nothing bedsies the Sallary I give which since you can forget Sirrah I 'll give you some cause for it and from this moment will pay it no longer Pimp Well if you will pay no longer sincerely I 'll pimp no longer and so your Friend and Servant But hold now I think on 't I 'll stay till Mr. Welford comes because he owes me an Angel M. Trick An Angel for what Pimp Why for some service done Yesterday Lord you are mighty forgetful Come come Madam places are not so scarce that a Min of my industry should want here 's a Person of Quality not far off that to my knowledge will be glad of me and give my Function due recompence there is Madam Sir Fred. Madam my carnest desire to see you with a little other Business which the Colonel in due time shall deliver to you made me guilty of this rudeness M. Trick I am in such a confusion and so tortur'd in
my thoughts for Welford I hear not one word they say what were you saying Sir Fredrick Sir Fred. Why did you not hear me Madam did not you hear me Faith I 'll banter her why I was saying Madam that if Mr. Welford had made his address to the Mogul before the Cattamountains of Padua had taken their degree th' Alarm had been given to the Swedes from the Swedes to the Switzers and then the Pomegranates had streight been taken out of the mouth of the Turks and given to the Germans a plain case and then Champaign had been twelve-pence a Bottle by this time M. Trick No Minute but just at such a time Well Sir and what then Sir Fred. What then hey day if she should banter me all this while 't were a good jest M. Trick Pray Sir Fredrick that again I confess my thoughts were a little busie Sir Fred. You are melancholly Madam I see you are out of humour I can guess the cause too but fear nothing Madam all shall be well again Pray be merry Come the Colonel shall give you a Song do old Pot-gun sing the Battle of Mardike C. Buff. Oh no more o' that good Sir Fredrick for my part I am no Songster that 's a good one indeed why when did you know a Souldier sing well unless it were to a Trumpet or a Drum M. Trick Was ever Creature so tortur'd Pray then Sir since you cannot sing and that I know the business of you Men of War with Visitants is only to divert 'em with a Story let me desire the favour to hear from your own mouth your own actions in the War I know 't is the best thing you can talk of and the strangeness of it I doubt not will divert me too Sir Fred. Now Colonel charge her she 's in thy Province charge her I say old Pollux hark ye shew her the Shot in thy Groin C. Buff. Pish Madam leaving the story of my life for some fitter opportunity give me leave first to inform you of something that concerns you M. Trick Concern me sure this old Mortar-piece knows nothing of my Intrigue does he Concern me C. Buff. Nearly Madam Mr. Oldsap is this night engag'd in a Rencounter Sir Fredrick and I heard of it at the Tavern just now from Will. Lovel who I believe is concern'd M. Trick A Rencounter if my Welford should be there now oh how my heart akes C. Buff. But the main person aim'd at is Mr. Welford M. Trick Oh Gods what do I hear C. Buff. For my part they are both my Friends and therefore I would have a prevention Pray Madam view this Sword M. Trick Hell and Death I am distracted who 's within there who 's there are you all deaf C. Buff. Madam by your leave a little pray handle this Sword M. Trick Burn the Sword would it were rusty to the Hilt Oh this Witch too whither is she gone Ex. M. Trick C. Buff. What 's that rusty ha ha ha but I must bear with her she 's a little simple rusty quoth a ' Sbud the Nation would be in a fine condition if this Sword were suffer'd to be rusty Sir Fred. is bantring Pimp all this while Pimp From the Moon say you Sir Sir Fred. From the World in the Moon Pimp A Whale as big as all Garnsey Sir Fred. Bigger bigger C. Buff. Ha ha ha he 's bantring the poor Fellow Pimp Mercy upon us what prodigies are these and yet I warrant maugre all this our wilful Nation will keep on in their sinful courses still Sir Fred. Ay the more 's the pity but t is well he 's taken for he has done a world of mischief Pimp Has he so Sir Fred. Oh ay he had like to have swallowed the Isle of Wight Pimp The Isle of Wight sure never was the like known I never heard a word on 't till now 't is not in Muddiman's Letter Sir Fred. Oh no he 's lazy the Gazet out-does him but you shall have some Figure-flinger or other cast the Nativity on 't when new Almanacks come in season Pimp Very strange but pray an 't like your worship How comes this Whale hither Sir Fred. Why in a Hand-Bakset Pimp Sir Sir Fred. A Hand-Basket look look thou starest now Spinola's Hand-Basket Fool Made purposely in the Moon for this occasion And some Astrologers hold that this is Spinola's Whale too and design'd by the Mogul of the Moon a present to the French King that his Army might have Oil to their Sallets C. Buff. Ha ha ha by the Blade a pleasant humour Pimp Well this must portend something for I never heard of a Whale in my Life but that some body or other dy'd presently after Sir Fred. Come hither and give me thy hand Colonel your company too hum dost thou see this here A snuff Box. Pimp Yes Sir Sir Fred. Within this little Vessel is contain'd Steruntatorium Mivaculosum or The Powder of Sciences hast a mind to be learned wilt thou speak Greek Pimp Not I Sir 't is not for my profit to be a Scholar Sir Fred. No! Well then dost thou love singing Pimp Oh extreamly Sir Sir Fred. Dost thou here take then take thou shalt do 't to a Miracle Tarlton shall be nothing to thee Come snuff up there come now begin try try oh weak weak tother touch Gives 'em Snuff There now sing ha ha ha go thy ways I 'll warrant thee for a Songster Sneezes Pimp Sincerely methinks 't is but a scurvy tune tho' o' my Nose my Nose Sneezes Enter Cornet Corn. Oh for Heaven's sake go and part 'em yonder 's my Master and Mr. Welford fighting in the Street and my Mistress is run out like one distracted Noise within C. Buff. 'T is so come Sir Fredrick I am resolv'd there shall be no foul play Exeunt SCENE III. The Street Enter Welford pursued by Oldsapp and more Welf. NO Sense of Honour Dogs Olds. Down with the Traytor down with him kill him kill him Fight off Henry is carry'd in a Sedan cross the Stage Henr. Hold set me down hah fighting at this time o' Night it may be one of my Friends is beset stand ye here till I come I am resolv'd to go and see Ex. Henr. Enter Will. Lovel with the Constable and Watch. Lov. Yonder they are go quickly and do your office Ex. Constable Tho' Welford is my Rival he 's a Gentleman and 't is baseness to suffer him to be beset But I must keep this from the Old Fellow's knowledge lest it spoil my design Exit Noise of fighting within Enter Welford Welf. 'T was well the Watch came and disperst 'em I had certainly been mauld else This Old Fellow has discovered my Intrigue with his Mistress and if I should consider seriouly of the matter this affair of his is neither contrary to Reason nor Justice Would I were at home I am very dry and very drowsie and 't is so dark that I hardly know the way to my
Sir I 'll wait you here to morrow Welf. Will ye ifaith will you not fail Christ. Upon my life I will not Welf. I 'll trust ye then adieu a pox o' this Husband Exit Enter Lucinda Lucin. Come Madam 't is in vain for you to wait longer My Master I am certain won't come home to Night Christ. Go get my Night-Clothes ready I 'll follow you Exeunt SCENE II. Garden Enter Oldsapp and Lovel Olds. THus Sir depending upon your care and secresie I have told you my concerns Lov. Sir you shall never have any cause to doubt my fidelity Olds. I believe thee in troth before George thou hast an honest Face of thy own that confirms it Therefore prethee give thy attention I confess I am old Lov. O Sir not old Olds. Yes faith the Women think me so and to deal faithfully with thee I am somewhat above threescore Lov. Oh a small Age that Sir for a healthy Man Olds. But I confess to thee though I am old I cannot chuse but love a Wench as well as a younger Fellow Well before George I know not what 's the matter but methinks I am never well without one Lov. 'T is a sign you came of a good Family Sir I shall laugh at this old Fellow Aside Olds. Yes the truth is I came of a notable Generation my Father and Mother were swingers but let that pass you know my Sneakie is about twenty one Lov. Much about that Age in my Opinion Sir Olds. Yes yes nay I can tell to a Day her Age but would you believe me Friend I dare tell you tho' to another I should be asham'd when I am with her sometimes the arch Jade will play upon me strangely she 'll call me Fool almost at every Word Ah 't is a witty Quean Lov. Ha ha ha Then it seems Sir she 's angry with you sometimes and how d' ee do to pacifie her Olds. Why you must know Sir I allow her a Hundred Pound a Year and that makes up the business very well Lov. Oh Olds. No faith we never quarrel now Sir for this reason I attempted the Charm you know of thinking that would make me young and fit for her Lov. And yet to be never the better faith 't was ill luck Olds. The better nay before George I think I am the worse for 't Lov. Why that 's worst of all Sir But pray come a little nearer to my business What would you have me do Olds. I 'll tell you the Story you told me to day of Welford has so tortur'd me that I am grown damnably jealous and I fear I may have some cause if the truth were known For I had certainly mauld him to night if by some device or other she had not convey'd him away Lov Very well Sir Olds. And tho' I cannot possitively say she did I fear the worst Now 't is in your power to do me a signal favour Lov. Command it then Sir you know I am your Friend Olds. You can counterfeit Welfords Voice I have heard you do it you therefore shall go to her instantly and personate him she 's in the dark which makes me suspect she waits for some body believing me absent and to prove all you shall court her as if you were him and so find her inclination then you discovering the truth to me I shall know the better how to use her hereafter Lov. Faith Sir you must pardon me if I refuse to serve you in this I am sensible of the inconvenience Sir I shall not be able to contain my self Aside Olds. Inconvenience how prethee Lov. Oh Sir you that are so jealous of every one I have just reason to fear will be so of me should I do this I am resolv'd not to hazard the loss of so good a Friend about so trivial a matter Olds. Jealous of thee what of a Brother a dear Friend that I have pickt out amongst Men to trust a secret with jealous of thee Why thou dost not take me for a Fool dost thou Come come no excuse thou shalt do 't Lov. It cannot be Sir what will she think 'Sdeath this is the simplest Fellow Aside Olds. She think why she shall not know it Man there lyes the jeast she shall be ignorant of it and think 't is he still for you are to come in the dark Now here 's my plot by this means she taking you for him will discover her Intrigue and I shall know whether she is a Jilt or no Lov. Nay Sir If I can do you any service you know I want power to deny Was ever such a Coxcomb Aside Olds. Thank ye heartily dear Friend before George thou art an honest Fellow well I 'll go instantly and see if she 's there and then conduct you to her and an hour hence Lov. Ay Sir sooner if you please Olds. No no not sooner Well have a little patience I 'll be with you instantly Ex. Oldsapp Lov. Ha ha ha This is the pleasantest adventure that ever Man had and thanks to my Stars my pains shall now be rewarded for above these six Months have I laid plots and studied daily how to obtain this Womans Company and could never prosper and now in a moment when I least thought on 't to be brought to her Chamber and by her Keeping-Fool that has been jealous of every body Oh my Joys methinks every Hour 's an Age till he comes and then to bob Welford of his Mistress too ha ha ha 't is a happy chance Well I see some Men are born to strange Fortune Lyes down Enter Welford Welf. Where the Devil am I this is the first door I found open and I am resolv'd to enter be it where it will Hah this Garden should belong to my dear Tricklove's Lodgings by that Belcony there ay 't is so Now if I could but contrive to make her hear me I am certain she 'd overcome all difficulties to let me in but how shall I do it Knock I dare not lest the old Fox should hear Well I was a Fool to forsake my other Lodging but when they cry how can you be so cruel rather kill me then proceed and the like I have not the heart to touch ' em But see the door opens and a Man is coming out I hope she has heard me and sent one of the Servants Enter Oldsapp Olds. Hist hist Come Sir she's in her Chamber and in the dark as I told you Therefore there must be some close business in hand good Sir make haste Welf. Oldsapp as I live Death if he discovers me I shall be murder'd but I 'll withdraw in time I hope the darkness will obscure me Is going away and Oldsapp holds him Olds. Nay Will. what dost mean what dost go backward for fie flinch from thy Friend in such an affair Come back for shame come back I say Welf. What shall I do he does certainly mistake me for another and I shall at last be discovered
and whatever danger happens Lucin. But I am so afraid you 'l do some mischief or other to her Welf. Pugh what mischief 't is impossible Lucin. Well that 's her Chamber Door Sir but I 'll be gone I 'll be no accessary I 'll have no hand in 't Welf. No thou shalt not come give me thy Light Lucin. A Light gad forgive me what d' e mean Sir is 't manners think ye to go into a Ladies Chamber at this time o'Night and disturb her with a Light Welf. Well I 'll have none then pox on her she 'll awake her presently with her chattering Exit Welf. Enter Sophia Soph. Is he gone Lucin. Just gone and as eager as a Student at his Commons he gave me all this and I swear had he given t'other half Crown I believe I should have relented for I began to feel some Motions of pity Soph. Nay I swear I believe thee but in the mean time you are a fit Jewel to be trusted a Mercinary waiting-Woman is a worse sort of Creature than a common Strumpet for she only forfeits her own reputation but t'other first sells her Ladies honour and afterwards her own that she may be sure not to go to the Devil without Company Lucin. But I hope Madam you see I am a Woman of better Principles Soph. I do and for thy own sake am glad on 't But come let 's to Bed Exeunt Enter Welford with a Strong-water-Bottle and a shoe Welf. Sure I am haunted by Fairies that lead me into Dens and Caverns where none but Witches inhabit gad I know not what to think on 't For going to begin the first Complement of Love to my Mistress as she slept the first thing I laid my Hand on on the Bolster was this which by the feeling and smell I guess to be my Grandams Implement a Strong-Water-Bottle And ifaith a Man would guess by her look to Day she had little need of Restoratives But here 's another that 's worse for steping back I stumbled upon this a Shoe I think but if she owns it tho' she is an Angel by her Face she 's a Devil by her Hoof I am resolv'd to inform my self come what will on 't I very happily left my Lanthorn in a Corner without and now 't will do me excellent Service Exit and re-enters with a Lanthorn So now I shall see what manner of Female I ha got Exit and re-enters By all that 's good a Moor as black as the Devil's Grandmother and I find it now this is a plot put upon me this Woman is damn'd honest but I am glad I mist my Witch of a Bed-fellow however stay now for a Project to be even with 'em Here 's another Chamber the Door 's open too and I think that 's her Gown upon the Table 't is so Fortune I thank thee now I am sure I am right Ex. into Christina's Chamber Enter Sophia with a Candle Soph. I cannot rest and let this trick pass upon Welford methinks there 's something within me that taxes me with great Ingratitude For I am afraid I love him more than consists with my quiet which induces me to imagine him worthy of a far better Bed-Fellow Why did I then consent to 't my Cozen 's a marry'd Woman and 't is but Reason in her but I swear 't is Barbarity in me the height of incivility and I 'm resolv'd I will not suffer it I 'll instantly discover the plot to him it may be so good an Office may commence a passion in his heart for me too and that I am sure would be very agreeable Hark what Noise is that Shreek within Enter Christina follow'd by Welford Welf. Nay Madam since you can act Daphne so well you shall see that I can act Apollo too I shall be too swift for you Christ. Help help there I am undone else Help help Welf. All that shall not do I must be so unmerciful to stint this Noise and since I 've ventur'd so hard for 't am resolv'd to try the difference between the old the Devil yonder my intended Bed-Fellow and Lady Venus my now happy purchase smile Madam and bless your Fortune Oh my full Heart Come come I 've not a Minute more to spare nor have you to consider nay no strugling it must be so Soph. Hold hold Sir a word or two with you first Welf. 'Sdeath she here a plague and double plague on opportunity she alwayes jilts us most when most we need her Soph. This is a wonder to me prethee how came the plot discover'd Christ. I know not the Devil I think ow'd me a shame and sought to pay it this way But I am glad thy care prevented it Welf. Nay nay Madam there 's no going out I am resolv'd to make better use of my good fortune than by such a neglect 'T is true I have no occasion for a Witness at this time but since it happens so I must fortifie my self as well as I can come come Madam Hey what do I see Raymond here Starts Enter Henry Henr. Iack Welford here and at this time o' Night Death and Confusion what means this How now Sir what business have you here with my Wife Welf. His Wife gad I am in a fine condition Henr. Sir answer me and quickly lest I force it from you another way what you design'd an Intrigue with her to Night I warrant and mistook my House for your Ordinary in Durham-Yard Soph. I 'll venture this must do or nothing How Sir an Intrigue with her pray be no longer guilty of such a mistake I assure you Mr. Welford's business here is with me Henr. With you Soph. With me Sir and a business of weight too I can assure you for he has this Night given me a promise of Marriage Welf. Death what 's this Madam what d' e mean I know nothing of the business Aside Soph. Next week say you Sir fie I swear 't will be indiscreetly to marry so soon a word more and you 're undone No no I think 't is fit we consider a little a Month hence will be time enough indeed Sir next week is too soon Welf. Faith and so it is what a Devil shall I do in this case Henr. Nay if he comes to my Neice all 's well again he has a good Estate and will be a fit match for her but gad I thought his business had been with my Wife when I came in but see how Men may be mistaken Soph. Pray Uncle salute him kindly do it as to one that is shortly to be my Husband Welf. What Husband Madam gad I must not let this pass Henr. What Husband Sir d' ee begin to recant already nay then I suspect something Come Sir repeat your Promises to her instantly before me or my jealousie will give me cause to believe my wife was concern'd here it will Sir if otherwise you need not study I am sure for she has six thousand Pound and merits you
every way Welf. Six thousand Pound gad this is better than I expected a pretty Lady too hah I think I need not stand out indeed six thousand Pound Henr. Come what say you Sir Welf. Say why I say Sir if she has six thousand pound I will confirm my promises to her I 'll marry her at a minutes warning Henr. That was spoke like a Friend let me embrace thee and give thee thanks for making our knot of Friendship stronger by this Alliance Come my dear let 's leave 'em together they have a thousand things to say I know and 't is rudeness to hinder 'em farewell I believe 't is near break of day I 'll take an hours rest and then Neice I 'll go to the Alderman and speak to him to get your Money ready So this gives an opportunity of visiting my new Mistress again according to my promise Come my dear this plaguy business does always so disturb thee but Ex. Henry and Christina Welf. I swear Madam this was a cunning cruelty I have not heard of to challenge me un-arm'd and take my Heart by surprize methinks in Conscience you should have given me an hours warning Soph. If you think me cruel Sir I can release your promise nay would chuse to do 't rather than give you occasion to boast of my kindness I know you Sir and am acquainted with your humour Welf. I am glad on 't faith for when I was as well acquainted with your person who can imagine the blessing that will follow In brief Madam I am resolv'd to pursue what is so well begun and will marry ye indeed for the present I 'll leave you to consider and go to settle some affairs of my own but believe I would not loose the hopes I have in thee nor the possession of the joys that are in prospect for all the wealth o' th' World Shop Nor I I swear Exeunt severally SCENE III. Table Chairs and Bottles of Wine Enter Sir Fredrick Lovel Colonel Buff and Pimpo Sir Fred. I 'L lay any Man five Guinneys upon my Bowls to day Will. Lovel what sayst thou wilt thou take me Lov. Not I Sir but is she at leisure now think'st thou Come thou art an honest Fellow I may trust thee To Pimpo Pimp Sincerely I know not Sir I hope you take me for a more conscientious Person than to have any thing to do in Womens Affairs There 's no Money stirring with him he shall know nothing Sir Fred. Come Lovel take your Glass hark you Pimpo I am your Friend keep her Affairs from these and let me know all 't was I that sent for thee when is the best time to wait on her ha softly when I say come I am thy Friend I tell thee Pimp Ay ay your Servant Sir a Friend quoth a he has no Money neither Well there 's a number of Consumptive Knights now a-days good Sir do not tempt me Sincerely I am a Man of better Principles I tell you and if this be the thing you sent to me for Sir Fred. Dam him this is a zealous Rogue I 'll banter him hark'ee Elubu bizeldoclaman bila shaw Speaks Gibberish Pomp. Sir Sir Fred. Carlid donzal pulin tack lillikaw do prethee Pimp Do what Sir I do not understand one word you say Buff. Ha ha ha he plays the wag he does ifaith Well Sir Fredrick you will never leave this humour but honest worthy Gentleman pray a word with you Sir Fred. Honest worthy Gentleman mark the Colonel's Complement I warrant he has been studying all this morning for 't Buff. Do not trust a secret in these slight Bottoms they leak presently mine is the same business the Lady the Lady thou understand'st me by the Blade she is a dainty one and I think I am the fittest for her hah come when is the time serve me but in this and if ever thou hast a mind to be a Souldier I 'll stand thy Friend I 'll do thy business for thee Pimp So here 's another Friend and consequently no Money for 't is a Maxim that he that professes most Friendship to you will be sure not to lend you Money a pox I 'll have nothing to do with such sneaking Fellows not I for like my honest Brethren the Quakers though I am a Rascal when there 's Money to be got sincerely I 'll be a Saint when there 's none Enter Oldsapp Lov. Hah Squire what brought you hither this Morning hah Strikes him on the Shoulder Olds. Oh! no more o' that Sir before George I am very sore about the Back and Shoulders I 'll tell thee what Will. I was beaten last Night Man swing'd confoundedly ha ha Iack Welford did it well say you what you will I am confirm'd he is the honestest Fellow in Christendom Lov 'T is much to hear a Man say so of one that has beaten him Olds. Ah I 'll say it again and again his honest beating has much oblig'd me and I am his humble Servant in black and blue for 't things are clear'd Man all doubts and suspitions vanish't hah I could jump I am so merry Sir Fred. Hark'ee Squire prethee come hither a little Takes him aside I have in Essex a Mannor of Land and I would know whether Elblizzelmontablementa blisigonable now you can tell He banters Olds. What say you Sir Fredrick Sir Fred. Why look you Sir my Land is deelishable c. now you can give me information Olds. Of what what a Devil is 't you say before George I can't understand you Omnes Hah ha ha Olds. Well you play the Wag with me I warrant but no matter I am in so good a humour now that I 'll take any thing and if we meet at the Bowling-Green anon the Glass shall go round merrily ifaith till when your Servant I have now a little business Exit Oldsapp Sir Fred. Come Colonel shall we go and dine Buff. Not I Sir I have some business must be done pray excuse me Pimp Now to make amends for once I 'll condescend to strain my Conscience for ye therefore go and stand all ready at the Back-Garden-Gate and I 'll see if the Old Man be safe and come and convey ye into the House and bestow ye conveniently and then he she likes best is sure to have her company Lov. Rare Rogue do this and I am bound to thee for ever Sir Fred. And so am I. Buff. And I by the Blade I believe he 's a very honest Fellow Pimp Oh is 't come to that a rare Wheel go then and be sure you miss not the hour for I 'll be ready for ye Buff. I 'll warrant thee a very honest Fellow ifaith Exeunt Pimp Ay ay a very honest Fellow ha ha ha Am not I a cunning Rascal now by gadsniggs I am For I will make all these that think to serve themselves in this business and fool me fool themselves and serve me By abusing them I shall get my self into my Mistresses favour