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A16927 The sparagus garden a comedie. Acted in the yeare 1635. by the then Company of Revels, at Salisbury Court. The author Richard Brome. Brome, Richard, d. 1652? 1640 (1640) STC 3820; ESTC S106714 56,681 88

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wise men agen Touch. To the poynt good gentlemen yet you are welcome Gil. Troth sir the poynt is this You know and the towne has tane sufficient notice of it that there has been a long contention betwixt you and old Mr. Striker your neighbour Touch. Ha Gil. And the cause or ground of your quarrell for ought any body knowes but your selves may be as triviall as that which was derided in our fathers Touch. Are you there with me Gil. And great hopes there are and wagers laid by your friends on both sides that you two will be friends Touch. I le hold you an hundred pounds o' that Gil. Nay more that Mr. Striker will bee willing to give his Grand-child to your Son so you 'l give your consent Touch. And your comming is to perswade that is it not if it be so speake deale plainely with me gentlemen whilst yet you are welcome Walt. Insooth it is so we come to negotiate the match for your sonne and your friendship with old Mr. Striker Touch. You are not welcome Gil. But when you weigh the reasons and consider the perfect love of the yong paire and how the world will praise your reconciliation and blesse the providence that made their loves the meanes to worke their parents charity Touch. Againe you are not welcome Gil. Your selfe but now commended the attonement Of our two fathers wrought by the same meanes I meane my marriage with his sister here Against as great an opposition Walt. But our fathers lov'd their children Touch. Your fathers were a couple of doting fooles and you a paire of sawcy knaves now you are not welcome and more then so get you out of my doores Gil. Will you sir by your wilfulnesse cast away your sonne Touch. My sonne no sonne of mine I have cast him off already for casting an eye upon the daughter of mine enemy let him goe let him packe let him perish he comes not within these doores and you that are his fine spoken spokes-men get you off o' my ground I charge you Walt. We are gone sir onely but wishing you Mr. Touchwood to remember that your sonne 's your sonne Touch. Indeffinitely not sir untill hee does not onely renounce all interest in the love of that baggage but doe some extraordinary mischiefe in that family to right me for the trespasse hee has done and so win my good opinion till which bee done a daily curse of mine hee shall not misse and so you may informe him Exit Gil. What an uncharitable wretch is this Walt. The touchiest peece of Touchwood that e're I met withall Gil. I fear'd we should inflame him Walt. All the comfort is his sonne may yet out-live him Act 1. Scene 2. Walter Gilbert Samuel Gil. BUt the danger is his father may dis-inherit him Walt. He cannot be so devillish here comes his sonne a gentleman of so sweet a disposition and so contrary to his crabbed Sire that a man who never heard of his mothers vertue might wonder who got him for him Gil. Not at all I assure you Sam is his fathers nowne sonne for the old man you see is gentle enough till he be incens'd and the sonne being mov'd is as fiery as the father Walt. But he is very seldome and slowly mov'd his father often and o' the suddaine Gil. I prethee would'st thou have greene wood take fire as soone as that which is old and sere Walt. He is deepe in thought Gil. Over head and eares in his Mrs. contemplation Sam. To dis-obey a father is a crime In any sonne unpardonable Is this rule So generall that it can beare noe exception Or is a fathers power so illimitable As to command his sonnes affections And so controule the Conquerour of all men Even Love himselfe no he that enterprizes So great a worke forgets he is a man And must in that forget he is a father And so if he forgoe his nature I By the same Law may leave my Piety But stay I would not lose my selfe in following This wild conceit Gil. How now Sam whither away Sam. I was but casting how to find the way Unto my selfe Can you direct me gentlemen Walt. Yes yes your father has told us the way Sam. Ha you had conference with him ha yee speake Gil. Marry sir ha we and I thinke to purpose Sam. Ha you wonne ought upon him to my advantage Walt. As much as may restore you to acquaintance With him againe can you but make good use on 't Sam. Pray doe not trifle with me tell me briefly Gil. Briefly he sayes you must not dare to see him Nor hope to receive blessing to the valew Of a new three-pence till you disclaime your love In your faire Annabell and not onely so But you must doe some villanous mischievous act To vexe his adversary her Grand-father Or walke beneath his curse in banishment Sam. A most uncharitable and unnaturall sentence Walt. But thinke withall it is your father that Makes this decree obey him in the 'execution He has a great Estate you are his onely sonne Doe not lose him your fortune and your selfe For a fraile peece of beauty shake her off And doe some notable thing against her house To please your father Sam. The Divell speakes it in thee And with this spell I must Conjure him out Draw Gil. Oh friend you are too violent Sam. Hee 's too desperate To urge me to an act of such injustice Can her faire love to whom my faith is given Be answered with so loud an injury Or can my faith so broken yield a sound Lesse terrible than thunder to affright All love and constancy out of the breast Of every Virgin that shall heare the breach Of my firme faith Gil. Be not so passionate Sam. I have no further power to doe an out-rage Against that Family to whome my heart Is link'd then to rip out this troubled heart The onely ominous cause indeed of all My over passionate fathers cruelty and that If I must needs doe an injurious Office Alone shall be my act to calme his fury Gil. Prethee blow o're this passion thou wert wont To affect wit and canst not be a Lover Truely without it Love is wit it selfe And through a thousand lets will find a way To his desired end Sam. The Ballet taught you that Gil. Well said Love will find out the way I see thou art comming to thy selfe againe Can there no shift no witty slight be found That have been common in all times and ages To blind the eyes of a weake-sighted father And reconcile these dangerous differences But by blood-shedding or outragious deeds To make the feud the greater recollect Thy selfe good Sam my house my purse my counsell Shall all be thine and Wat shall be thy friend Walt. Let me entreate your friendship Sam. And me your pardon Gil. So so all friends let 's home and there consult To lay the tempest of thy fathers fury Which cannot long be dangerous 't is but
is whether it be vor your Clarke or your zelfe who makes or meddles with it your man has my complaint in writing pray let me have your warrant Tou. You shal but first tell me how came it that you cald that Striker uncle Tom. Vor cause that he is uncle to a voole that I ha' to my brother and I thought I might be so bold wee'n and he was not against it at virst till you were gone and then he bad me goe zeek better testimony and so I went and vound my brother Tim his owne zusters zonne I assure yee Touch. His Sisters sonne Tom. Where he was made such a Tim as ne're was heard on in Tonton amongst a many Cheaters by masse here are a couple o 'm Coul. These were o' the crew Touch. How now my Masters sure fellow thou art mistaken Tom. No sir I am not mistaken I but I take 'hem I where I vinde 'hem I And I charge your justiceship with 'hem I til they bring out my brother I Touch. Bring out your brother why what has your brother done Tom. Done nay they have done and undone him amongst 'hem And I think devour'd him quick too vor he is lost no where to be vound Touch. Doe you know the meaning of any of this gentlemen Gil. If he were your brother sir that you found at Sir Hugh Money-lacks lodging you know we left him in your hands Wat. We stept in but by chance such a youth we found there there we left him in your and their hands that had the managing of him Tom. Zo you did but what then did me the rest but pli'd me and my man Coulter here with wine and zack and something in 't I dare be zwore that laid us a zleep when we mistrusted nothing but vaire play oh speak Coulter oh Coul. And then when were vast azleep they all gave us the zlip the Knight was gon and the Squire was gon Mr. Tim was gon but he was made away without all peraventure for all the parrell that he wore was left behind and then speak Master Tom. And then the Mr o' the house came home made a monstrous wonderment for the losse of his wife he could not vinde her he zed and zo he vaire and vlatly thrust us out o'doores and is gone a hunting after his wife agen speak Coulter Gil. Alas poore Britleware Coult. And then we came for your warrant to vind all these men agen Tom. And to take 'hem where we vinde 'hem these were zome on 'hem when time was and pray look to 'hem Touch. I know not what to make o'th is but sure there 's something in 't And for these gentlemen I le see them forth-comming Wat. We thanke you sir Gil. And I will undertake Sir Hugh Mony-lacks will be at the Bride-house Touch. And thither will I instantly Gil. Wat. We 'll waite upon you sir Tom. And I chill make bold to wait upon you till I be better zartified Touch. You shall come on your way come gentlemen Gil. Well here is such a knot now to untie As would turne Oedipus his braine awry Ex. omn. Act 5. Scene 4 Enter Curate and Britle ware Cur. Be appeas'd and comforted good Mr. Britleware trouble not your head in running after your fate nor break your weighty braines in seeking wayes after your wives heeles which are so light by your owne report they cannot crack an egge Brit. Her credit yet they may and mine Cur. Besides your wife is your wife where e're she is abroad as we as at home yea lost perhaps as well as found I am now going to yoke a heifer to a husband that perhaps wil say so shortly whither away Mr. Trampler Scene 5. Enter Trampler Tram. To the wedding house where I thinke I saw your wife last night Mr. Britleware Brit. Did you sir did you Tram. I cannot say directly but I think 't was she does she not call the gentlewoman Aunt that keeps Mr. Strikers house Brit. Yes Mistris Friswood she is her Aunt sir Scene 6. Cur. Come goe with us and find her Enter the Sedan Hoy. in it in womans cloaths Brit. Pray gentleman stay for I suppose She 's here here 's number one and twenty this is sure the litter Litter-man What peep you for you ought not to do so sir Brit. By what Commission ought you to carry my wife in a Close stoole under my nose Litter-man T is a close Chayre by your leave And I pray forbeare you know not who we carry Brit. I know the cloaths she weares and I will see the party Hoy I know that voyce let me see the man it is my surgeon Tram. A Surgeon I took you for a China shop-keeper Master Britleware these by trades are for some by purposes and I smell knavery Cur. And Lawyers cōmonly are the best upon that sent Brit. Gentlemen this is a man that lay in my house Ho. A gentleman you would say or my cost was ill besto'd there Brit. These are my goods he weares that was my mothers Gowne and felloniously he weares it Hoy T is all I have to shew for foure hundred pound I laid out in your house and Sir Hugh put it upon me and hir'd these men to carry me Whither was it Lite-man Vp to a lodging in St. Gileses sir Hoy. Where he promis'd to finish his worke of a gentleman in me and send me to my Vncle Cur. O monstrum horendum a man in womens cloathes Tram. T is fellony by the Law Brit. Has sir Hugh gin me the slip to finish his work in private it shall all out I am resolv'd though I bewray my selfe in 't pray gentlemen assist me with this party to Mr. Justice Strikers you say my wife is there Tram. Yes you shall thither Brit. And there I le take a course you shal smel knavery enough Hoy. I finde J am abus'd enough o' conscience and shall be carried to mine Vncle now before my time and not as a gentleman but as a gentlewoman which grieves me worst of all Cur. Hinc illae lachrimae the youth is sure abus'd indeed Hoy Oh Tram. Come leave your crying And you beasts up with your luggage and along with us I le fetch such drivers as shall set you on else Litter-man Let us be paid for our labour and we 'll carry him to Bride-well if you please Hoy. Oh oh that ever I was born in this groaning chaire Ex. Act 5. Scene 7. Friswood and Rebecca Fris. It was well I sent for thee Neece to helpe me decke the Bride here and that the jealous foole thy husband thinkes thou art gone astray the while it will be a meanes for thee to take thy liberty another night and pay him home indeed when he shall not have the power to mistrust thee it is the common condition of Cuckolds to mistrust so much afore hand that when they are Dub'd indeed they have not a glympse of suspition