makes me both her Blame and Praise despise No more displeas'd or pleased therewithall Than if a whibling Cur should fawn or bawl For unto those Oppressions heretofore And now lay'd on me whatsoever more The world shall add though they a while oppress Will shortly make them not alone much less But also none at all and wheel about Upon her self as soon as my Turn's out Praise is a pleasing thing to flesh and blood Yet often doth it much more harm than good Puffs up with Pride ore-weening and vain glory Or with affection to things transitory Beyond a safe Mean and makes men suppose Themselves to be what ev'ry neighbour knows They are not yea what they themselves do see They neither are nor possibly can be Whereas to be without a cause despis'd Disprais'd reproach'd scoft jeer'd and scandaliz'd An undue self-opinion doth remove True Meekness and Humility improve Brings Constancy and Patience to their tryal And at the last to such a Self-denial As in the close will more contentment give us Than all whereof a Slander can deprive us The flatteries of his Lords made Joash stumble Reviling speeches made King David humble Good men by praises oft are evil made But by Reproaches harm they never had The World which best is pleas'd with her own baubles For that false titulary honor scrabbles Which is compos'd of aiery Attributes Or which opinion only constitutes And all her happiness dependant seems On vulgar approbations and esteems Which are indeed her Portion but to those Who can look both beyond and through the Shows That such Toies make nought therein doth appear To merit their desire love hate or fear And therefore they respect them come or go As Reason them obliges thereunto Or as things which if grace divine be granted them Indifferently may be possest or wanted Make such use as they serve to whilst they have And yield them when resum'd to those who gave them For had external honours in this place Been truly more essential than disgrace To happiness eternal CHRIST had waved The scandals of the Cross we had been saved And sanctifi'd should be without those troubles Scorns and reproaches which the world now doubles And may redouble yea in vain had he A promise made that they should blessed be Who in his sufferings do with him partake And are reproach'd and slander'd for his sake These things consider'd I am at full rest Slanders infringe not my chief interest Good or Ill Words will me no more concern When I am dead than when I was unborn And whilst I live as is inferr'd before They harm a little and they profit more If Scandals neither mend nor mar my health Increase not troubles nor decrease my wealth Save in opinion onely all those lostes Are cur'd if my vote that opinion crosses And prare who list I will as merry bee As is a Pye upon a Cherry-tree Praise or dispraises if so be my heart Assures that neither of them by desert To mee belongs my own Phanatick brain Is cause of all where of I do complain Or take delight in praise blame bless or curse I am no whit the better or the worse And all men are as much concern'd as I In what 's then spoken be it Truth or Lye If of a hundred Crimes I guilty were All which as evidently did appear As in a cloudless day the Sun at noon The world but as the spots within the Moon Would look upon them if for my defence I have a face well braz'd with impudence An Oily Tongue a Crocodiles moist eye Can finde great Friends bribe flatter fawn and lye Ore-awe my neighbours or my self express A friend to them in their licentiousnesse But were I both in words and deeds as free From just reproof as mortal man may be Had I but one great neighbour who envies All men suppos'd more honest or more wise Than hee is thought therewith a neighbourhood Which takes delight in nothing that is good Abhorring all as their injurious foes Who them in their unrighteous waies oppose Or if I be constrained to have dealing With such by some relation or nigh dwelling Who think there 's nothing rational or just But what tends to their profit or their lust It is impossible to scape the wrongs Of wicked hands or of malicious tongues And therefore he with whom it thus doth fare Must study patience how his lot to bear And in this case can look for no defence But from GODS Justice and his Innocence Which is sufficient unto them that know What consolations from those fountains flow What is there to be fear'd in Slandrous Tales Whether they shall be either true or false A false Report more mischieves those who spread it Than harmeth me If it impairs my credit I may recover it again ere long And also peradventure by that wrong Improve some Vertue or abate some Pride Within my self till that time unespy'd Although hard words give harder knocks than stones And crack our Credits yet they break no Bones And if unjustly thrown by spightful fingers They prove most mischievous unto their flingers One fault which Conscience findes afflicts me more Than twenty slanders yea than twenty score So long as that lyes quietly in me I shall not care who my Accusers be And when that shall accuse me as sometime It doth I sue out an Appeal to him Who straight acquits me else I must confess I should as much fear mine own Righteousness As all my Sins for I esteem them both Alike impure and as a menstruous cloath If I am justly blam'd for things misdone Or for faults wherein I am going on It doth by bringing on me shame of face Repentance bring and to that state of Grace From which I falling was and stay the course Which might have drawn me on from bad to worse Until that by habituated sin Endless Impenitency had broke in Much more therefore to these I am a debter Who speak ill than to those men who speak better Than I deserve And though that in their ends They differ they may be as useful friends Who speak of me opprobriously sometimes As they who praise me or excuse my crimes For I have long observ'd that all Relations Nigh or far off what ever Obligations Have nearly joyned them or whatsoere Their Quarrels Bonds or Disobligements are Be for the most part either friends or foes But as a prosp'rous or a cross wind blows Or as their inter'st or Expectancy May be secur'd or doth at hazzard lye The Love or Hatred which I finde in them Differs but in the Measure or the Time Or in th' Occasions which have them inclin'd To friendliness or else to be unkinde They frown or smile they praise or they disgrace Destroy and save and stab or else imbrace Even as the fit which comes upon them takes them And either pleased or displeased makes them Such will their words and deeds be then to thee What ere thou art to them or they
their deportments towards one another Now by GODS mercy they are brought together On those too in particular I thought Whom GOD into his power hath lately brought How great erewhile his wants and sufferings were What his enjoyments at this present are And on some other matters not a few Which these to my consideration drew And which perhaps that day had been by none Mus'd on so much had I not been alone Moreover it occasion'd thoughts of that Which to a Nobler Object doth relate Even to that Kingdom King and Coronation That should be thought on with more veneration Than all the Monarchs in their greatest glory Who now live or are memoriz'd in story My Contemplation with as much content As others had to me did represent That DAY wherein CHRIST through Ierusalem Rode meekly on an Ass whilst after him The people throng'd or laqued by his side And voluntarily HOSANNA cry'd Yet afterward pursuing him with scorns Cry'd Crucifie and crowned him with Thorns And this me thought was so considerable That it made all our Pomp seem despicable For then my Muses drew me by degrees To meditate on what my soul fore-sees Concerning them who whilst they do pretend CHRIST's Kingdom do pursue another end And that which for his glory was bestown Make use of for advancement of their own Not seldom likewise I then thought upon Those many thousand families undone Who sit and weep through want of what that day Was wastfully and vainly thrown away At such a time wherein both Man and GOD Proceedings lookt for in another mode And when our publick hazards and distress Requir'd another way of thankfulness Upon that solemn day not without wonder I saw and heard the Lightning rain and thunder Wherewith GOD seem'd to answer and out-vy Our Guns and fire-Works though I was not nigh And such-resemblance had the works of Art To Nature's that they could not be apart Distinguish'd but that to prevent our error The last was loudest and infus'd more terrour This I observed well and furthermore Took special heed that nigh two Moneths before And likewise ever since from Rainy weather We were not oft free one whole day together Until that Royal Triumph was begun Nor till that moment wherein it was done Yet durst I not be so prophane to say As one hath writ it dar'd not rain that day Nor at that time Flaminian like durst I Conjecture by a Heathenish Augurie What GOD thereby intended but with awe Consider'd upon what I heard and saw And I confess the Lightning Rain and Thunder At this our Seed-time caused me to ponder On that which Sumuel prayed GOD to send In Harvest-time and what that did portend Which I conceive to be a Meditation Not then improper for my Contemplation And though some peradventure may suspect That these expressions may some way reflect On what concerns them it concerns him more Whose cause and honour I prefer before All earthly things and can be not afraid Who ere shall be displeas'd with what I 've said For I was barr'd from seeing what is done By men that GODS works might be mused on Such things although we then much mind them not Should not amidst our Triumphs be forgot And that which then by me was thought upon Much more effectually perhaps was done In this condition which I now am in Than could in that state wherein I have been Forgot therefore by others if it be It will seem no great wonderment to me For who remember Iosephs in their sports Or in the jollities at Princes Courts Confinement which I once a damage thought To me hath other priviledges brought It manifests apparently to me Who are my Kinsmen who my Neighbours be And whether he who passeth by me than Be Levite Priest or a Samaritan For Neighbourhood and Kindred he best tryes That 's robbed wounded or imprison'd lyes In Liberty I sometimes doubted whether They who then came to visit me were either My Friends or Foes for I found other while They whom I trusted most did most beguile But few or none my Visitants now are Save they whose Visitations are sincere The Friends I got when I did walk abroad I gain'd my self These are made mine by GOD. These were acquired without pains or cost Not won by merit nor by small faults lost The first were for prosperity decreed The latter for my help in time of need And sought my Body out unknown before Because they heard it was distrest and poor Which hath to me Confinement sweeter made Than all the Freedoms which I lately had And me with that Communion of the Saints Experimentally it now acquaints Which in this life enjoyed is by all Who in the life to come enjoy it shall A Prison cannot dreadful seem to me For there I first was taught my A B C In Sufferings There when I had scarcely past Mine Nonage to be schooled I was place't And so long as the Providence of GOD Was pleas'd that to instruct me with that Rod I should continue my abiding there Princes my Tutors and Correctors were A Prison is that House of Discipline Wherein the MARTYRS usually begin To be Probationers it is the Colledge Of SAINTS wherein experimental knowledge Is first acquired by a carnal sense Of that which tries their Christian patience Prisons to them are sanctified Temples Wherein they by their meekness and examples Preach to the world by Deeds a powerful way What many other do but meerly say And as our Prelates in each Cathedral Have several places which they please to call More or less holy so there likewise be Imprisonments of differing degree The Outer-ward an entertainment gives Most commonly to Murtherers and Thieves Or such like malefactors who displease The world sometimes and interrupt her ease For which they are confin'd till their just guerdon They shall receive or bribe her for a pardon And whereto she gives all advantages That may in Prisons granted be to these But all her Prisoners are not confin'd To Wards and Receptacles of one kind The Inner-wards which do to me appear The same that Chancels unto Churches are Are not made use of except now and then But for most holy and Religious men The deepest Dungeons be reserv'd for those Who dare our Vices or her Lusts oppose Or things repugnant to our ends profess When mov'd thereto by conscientiousness And whosoere presumes to plead their cases As Innocents doth hazard in like places His own Restraint or else unto suspects Which peradventure may have worse effects Yet Freedom yields to none so much content As these enjoy by such Imprisonment For they with inward comforts are delighted Whilst they with outward darkness are benighted And sweet Refreshments in amongst them come When they are throng'd up in a nasty Room When they of their familiars are depriv'd They are by those who knew them not reliev'd When they from earthly men fast lockt have been Celestial Angels have sometime broke in Knockt off their chains the
to thee As bitter Language I have heard 'twixt those That were dear Lovers as 'twixt greatest Foes Yea and more bitter too in some respects Considering their Causes and Effects A Foes Revilings very sharp appear But when our Friends exasperated are With or without Cause given of offence There is between them greater difference Or at the least but very little less Than tasted is between the bitterness Of unpeel'd Wallnut-kernels and strong Gall VVhen with our tongues distinguish them we shall Moreover I have sometimes also seen That they who have unto each other been Most mischievous so reconcil'd together Though little vertue hath appear'd in either So kind in words and deeds for outward ends And so ingaged mutually as friends In their Concernments as if they had never At variance been but hearty friends for ever VVhich when I mind I neither pleasure have In Praises nor do slanders me bereave Of much content from whom soe're they come So long as I finde Innocence at home Nor in my own respect at any time So griev'd am I as otherwhile for them VVho have mis-censur'd me because I know From what distempers usually they flow And that the sob'rest and the wisest men Have some Deliriums on them now and then Exception is not alwayes to be took By what shall by a Friend or Foe be spoke For men in passion whether they appear Pleas'd or displeas'd speak few things as they are Nor alwayes as they think but rather say That which the passion bearing then chief sway Transports them to although a wound it give To their own souls which pains them whilst they live But Friends and Foes both good and ill report And all terrestrial things of every sort VVill shortly have an end with me at least The worst as well as that whereof the best Esteem I had will into nothing fly My Slanders and my Slanderers will dye At present therefore them no more I dread Than if I saw they were already dead And that which dead or living shall to me Befall will equally forgotten be By living I their scandals may out-live And good proofs of my innocency give VVhen I am dead what ever men shall please To speak or do it cannot me disease And they who after death do men defame Or shall expose their bodies unto shame Bring that dishonour which they did intend To others on themselves at latter end Yea make some question and suspect their merits Repute them persons of ignoble spirits And what they hoped should confirm their peace Their terrours and their dangers will increase Slanders though poyson in themselves have been To me a precious Antidote for sin Preventing not a few times more than one That wherein else perhaps I had mis-done And I thereby effects like his have found Who had a Sickness cured by a wound Whereas contrariwise a vain Applause Of sins or follies are a frequent cause I well remember that when I was young And in both kinds an Object of the Tongue As now I am I reaped many wayes By Slanders much more profit than by Praise For Praises made me sometimes over-ween And as if no defects in me had been Neglect the means that supplements might add To what I more in Show than Substance had It likewise me to envy did expose From which great disadvantages arose And scandals without cause But Grace divine Cross'd thereby what the Devil did design For Defamation so soon was begun That what it charg'd me with was never done That sin prevented was and many more By sending of the Scandal forth before The Crime was acted So into a Blessing A Curse was turn'd which merits this confessing And also me obliges all my dayes On all occasions to give GOD the praise For if perhaps it had over-flowed then The stream had never kept his bounds again The scoffs and jeers cast on me by the Rimes Of some reputed Poets in these times Have been my great advantage for th' esteem Which in my youthful dayes I had of them Had else perhaps from my simplicity Drawn me by their familiarity To those affected Vanities with which They have infected fools and claw'd their itch Were I but as ambitious of that name A POET as they are and think I am It might a little vex me when I hear How often in their Pamphlets me they jear Because Truth seasonably I convey To such as need it in a homely way Best pleasing unto those who do not care To crack hard shells in which no kernels are Or for strong Lines in which is little found Save an affected phrase and empty sound But I do read them with a smiling pitty To finde them to be wicked who are witty At their Detractions I do not repine Their Poems I esteem as they do mine Their Censures I with sleighting overpass Who like words without sense wit without grace And better am contented without cause To hear their mis-reports than their Applause As also that they should by Pantaloons Admired be and honour'd by Buffoons Yea as Iob said should they a Book compile Against me as they may and did erewhile I would receive it on my shoulders bear it And as a Crown upon my head would wear it My fearleness of SLANDERS doth not flow From Ignorance which hinders me to know How I am scandaliz'd for it appears In Print and I have heard it through both ears I daily hear what ignominious lyes Detraction to defame me doth devise I know whence they proceed whereto they tend In what likewise they possibly may end And it would stagger and affright me too Unless I knew the worst all this could do For they who Idolize the Prelacy Impute to me no less than Blasphemy And Sacriledge And I may well expect That when their hopes have taken full effect Though they with me at present do but dandle They then will curse me with Bell Book and Candle How ever for their persons I will pray For malice hath not mov'd me to gain-say Their Prelacy nor hope to get again What they usurp and doth to me pertain But meerly conscientiousness of that Which in my place I vow'd to vindicate Some call me Traytor too but well I wot They do not so beleeve or know me not I never did betray my trust to any Though I my self have been betray'd by many With Traytors I have numbred beenf or one And serv'd their ends yet I my self was none For if like Absolone they did pretend To Sacrifice and had another end I went on in simplicity of heart And did not from my Principles depart If they intended or committed Treason I wronged not my Conscience or my Reason By ought mis-done except it were perchance Through over-sight or else through Ignorance For which the Plagues now Epidemical To me as unto other men befall I never was in any factious Plot Nor likely seems it by what I have got That with them in their Actings I was one VVho thriv'd by those designs