all agree to put all the troubles and calamities of men into one heap on this De Consol ad Apollon condition that after every man had brought his and thrown them there then they should all come again and take every man an equal portion of them there would be a great many that now complain who would rather take up what they brought and go their ways contented with them And so Antimachus an Ancient Poet when his wife dyed whom he loved exceedingly he went and writ a Poem bearing her name wherein he reckoned up all the calamities that he could remember had befaln any in the world By this means he did deter himself from grief for how can one suffer the miseries which others endure if he cannot bear this light one of his own Fifthly It is better with us then with those of former times Let us compare our selves with the Ancient Christians Their children were snatcht out of their arms by the hands of tyrants They see their brains dasht out against the stones their friends were buried in fires or banished into strange places and they had no comforters left but God and themselves and their chiefest comfort was that they must shortly die the same death But notwithstanding all this and much more they did not take it heavily but 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 as Photius speaks They bare it all thankefully Epist 234. and blessed God who could tell how to govern the world beyond all the thoughts of men Let not us who suffer but common things weep with an extraordinary sorrow when they who suffered most unnatural deaths did bear it with more then natural courage They might have been allowed to have wept blood rather then we to shed tears And yet they rejoyced as if their friends had been offered in Sacrifice to God and we weep as if they had been put to some shameful torments for their crimes Shall we mourn more for the death of a friend then they for a butchery What arguments had they to comfort them which we have not What Scripture had they before their eyes to stay their tears which we read not If either of us have more to comfort us then the other it is we for we have their most excellent example And when I think of the Mother of the seven Brethren mentioned in the Macabees Mac. 2.7 she calls my thoughts back a little further then the times of Christ Did she wring her hands when she saw the skin of her son stead off from his head Did she cast any tears into the fire wherein another of them was fryed No she speaks as chearfully as if they were not stripping them of their skins but cloathing them with a royal robe She looks upon them not as if they lay upon a pan of coals but in a bridal bed She exhorted them being filled with a couragious spirit saying V. 21 22. I cannot tell how you came into my womb for I neither gave you breath nor life neither was it I that formed the members of every one of you But doubtless the Creator of the world who formed the generation of man and found out the beginning of all things will also of his own mercy give you breath and life again as you now regard not your own selves for his sake This marvellous woman as she is called v. 20. knew very well that she did not give them life and therefore why should she take so heavily their death She considered they were none of hers and why should not the owner take them She knew that she did not lose them but only restore them That life sometimes is not worth the having That unless God will have us live no wise man would desire to live That none gives any thing unto God though it be his own but he gives them something better And therefore she said Die my sons for that 's the way to live What poorness of spirit then is it that we cannot see a soul put off her cloaths without so much ado That a Jewish woman could see seven souls torn out of their body with more courage then a Christian man can see one soul quietly to depart and leave its lodging I would wish every one to save his tears till some other time when he may have some greater occasion for them If he will weep let it be when he sees the bodies of his children or friends so mangled as theirs were But if he would not weep out his eyes then let him weep soberly and not as if he were drunk with sorrow now After we have taken this course with our selves §. 7. IV. We must think with what reason we weep we shall be the more prepared to hearken unto reason And let us proceed from making comparisons to ask our selves some Questions and stay till they give a good answer Let us know of our selves why we are so sad and heavy Let us speak to our souls and say Tell me what is the matter what is the cause of all this grief thou art a rational creature what reason hast thou for all this sorrow Thou art not to be pittyed meerly for thy tears if thou canst cry without any cause Hideous things appear sometimes before us to affright us but they are the Chimera's of a childish imagination and not things really existent Let us bid fancy then to stand aside a while and let reason speak what it is that so troubles us Children cry who cannot speak and we are not much troubled at it because they cry for they know not what Unless we therefore can tell why we weep no body will pitty us because it is not weeping that we are to mind but the cause of mens weeping Let me then propose these questions to be answered some of which will discover that there is no cause of lamentation when our friends die And if there be no cause that the fountain of tears should run that is cause enough to stop it up I. For whose sake dost thou weep For the sake of him that 's dead or for thy own No cause of mourning for their sakes who are dead Not for him that is dead sure for we suppose him to be happy Is it reasonable to say Ah me what shall I do I have lost a dear friend that shall eat and drink no more Alas he shall never hunger again never be sick again never be vexed and troubled and which is more he shall never die again Yet this is the frantick language of our tears if we weep for the sake of him that is gone Suppose thy friend should come to thee and shake thee by the hand and say My good friend why dost thou lament and afflict thy soul I am gone to the Paradise of God a sight most beautiful to be beheld and more rare to be enjoyed To that Paradise am I flown where there is nothing but joy and triumph nothing but friendship and endless love There am
troubled But secondly We may be worse compare thy present condition with what thou mayst be This is not the worst that may befall thee in such a world of miseries Suppose then that thou shouldst lose all thy children as Job did and then lose thy whole estate that the Sea should swallow one part and the fire burn another and theeves rob thee of a third and bad debtors quite undo thee Suppose after all this that a fire should begin to burn in thy own bones and that should break into boils and they should break into scabs and thou shouldst be poor even to a Proverb as that holy man was Must thou not be contented then But how is that possible seeing thou canst not be contented now If such a showr of tears fall from thine eyes for this little loss then sure thou wilt make a flood or a deluge But what wilt thou do at last after all thy lamentations wilt thou kill thy self Then it seems thou takest death to be the end of all troubles and I wonder thou shouldst be troubled at that which hath cased thy friend of all troubles Or what else wilt thou do comfort thy self Try how thou canst do that now for if thy stomack resuse cordials in this distemper never expect that it will digest them when thou wilt be far more sick and apt to vomit them up again If Job had cursed the day wherein he was born at the first breach that God made upon his estate what expressions of grief below a great sin had he left for himself when he sate upon the dunghil The good man took the first losses so patiently that all the rest which befell him could not move him to greater impatience Do thou remember him and say to thy soul Come be quiet this is not the worst that may betide us we have no such cause to cry as we may have Let us learn patience against a time when we may have more need of it And then if we should be brought to the very dust and fall as low as the dung of the earth yet there is another way of considering what may be besides this We may be better We may be as happy again as now we account our selves miserable Our sorrow may be turned into joy as our joy hath been turned into sorrow Weeping may endure for a night but joy may come in the morning according as I have said in the former discourse Job 42.12 And so it was with Job whom God blessed in his latter end more then in his beginning We have seen the end of the Lord saith the Apostle James that the Lord is very pitiful Jam. 5.11 and of tender mercy But then this pitty of his is to be obtained only by patience If we cannot be contented it is needful we may think that he should teach us it still by greater losses Thirdly We have more then we want Compare what thou hast lost with what thou hast not lost God leaves commonly more then he takes He takes away thy children perhaps but thou hast thy husband and he is better then ten sons Or if thou hast lost thy husband also yet thou hast thy self and why should a living man complain and thou hast God himself whom nothing can take away from thee Or if thou hast him not yet thou mayst have him and who knows but that therefore thou hast lost thy friends because thou hast not him God hath taken them away that thou maist seek after him Wouldst thou have been willing that all thou hast should have been lost rather then this one friend Shall God raise him from the dead and all the rest go into his tomb Wilt thou have all or else take comfort in none Then God may well take away all and let thee have something to cry for Yea who is there destitute of all friends and comforters Job himself was not so spoiled that they had robbed him of his friends Though they did add indeed to his grief yet it was their mistake and not their want of love And if we should have no better then we may give God thanks that he lets us see more then all our friends Yea it is a great mercy that God gives us time to cease our grief and trouble And perhaps we have riches and a pleasant dwelling delightful walks c. or if we have not and can bear that patiently Barthol cent 4. Hist An. cap. 16. then we may soon learn how to bear this Do the poor people of Norway weep when they eat because their bread is made of the barks of trees and sometimes of chaff not of corn as ours is If there were no trees nor chasse nor no such thing to fill their mouths they might well cry but as long as we have what is needful we should be content for nothing is so needful as that Let us not then weep because we have not so many friends as we had for we have more then we deserve Let us not mourn as though we were desolate when we want but one no more then we do complain of hunger when we have all variety of chear except one dish that we love most But Fourthly We have more then many others Let us compare our selves if you please with others In other cases this is a thing we love to do though there be so much danger in it that it may undo us If we be guilty of any fault then we comfort our selves in comparisons and think that we are not so bad as others Now that which we are apt to do when we do ill we ought to do when we think we suffer ill Is God more unkind to us then to any of our neighbours Do not we see that many of our neighbours children are dead as well as ours Many of them have lost four or five and we have lost but one Nay many of them never had any and yet they do not therefore mourn and besmear their faces with tears and break their hearts with sighs Our case is the very same now that we have none but only that it is a little better because we had once some And how thankful should we be that we had them so long if it be desirable to have them at all But then we may say further to our selves How many of them have lost their friends in the late wars How many hath the sword made Widdows and the blood of how many of their children hath it drunk Ours were taken away by the hand of God but theirs were taken away by the hands of men Our friends dyed in their beds and theirs dyed in the field Ours went and theirs were driven out of the world Come let us go comfort our neighbours that have lost more then we for they stand more in need of comfort If they stand in need of none then no more do we It was very handsomely discoursed by Socrates as Plutarch relates That if we could
and lopp the Trees and wait a while and have what we desire Assure your selves it is forgetfulness of God that makes us troubled yea forgetfulness of our selves also who think we have lost our proper good when we are well enough And I think it will not unbecome me to speak to you in the words of a Heathen and bid you Be confident Arrian Epict. l. 2. cap. 16. L. 4. cap. 7. and looking up to Heaven say Hereafter I will use my self to what thou wilt I conform my thoughts wholly unto thee I refuse nothing that seems good in thine eyes Lead me whether thou wilt give me what garments thou pleasest chuse my food and provision for me c. I had alwayes rather have that to be which already is then any thing else For I think that is better which God wills then that which I. And yet upon a review of what I have writ concerning our friends death I think that there is one sort of persons that would have deserved a more particular consideration then I have given them in that discourse Widdows I mean who esteem themselves so desolate that I ought to have pittied them so much as to have addressed a few lines on purpose unto their comfort Though I do not know how to excuse my self if here I should enter upon that subject Yet there is a great person who hath spoken words of consolation to them so excellently sweet that it cannot displease you if I give you the sense of what He saith I have lost saith some sad soul not only my companion S. Chrysost upon 1 Thes Hom. 6. but my guide my stay my shield my second self I doubt not of the resurrection which Saint Paul discourses of but what shall I do in the mean time Much business I have to do but I am a fit prey for every Cormorant who hath a mind to be unjust The Servants who reverenced me before will now despise a silly woman If my husband have obliged any alas it will be soon forgotten now that he can do them no more kindness but if he did them any wrong they will be sure to take all the revenge upon me that they are able This is the thing that breeds me all my anguish and set this aside his death would not so much trouble me What shall we answer saith Saint Chrysostome unto this Truly I could easily convince them that not what they pretend but an unreasonable passion is the cause of words so sad and dolefull If this were the cause of their lamentation then they must never cease thus to bewail themselves But if after a years time all these tears are dried up then the want of their defence and comfort which will be then most sensible is not the only cause of them But let it be supposed that this is the fountain of all their sorrow and consider how much infidelity there is in it that we should think it is They that take care of us and not God It cannot chuse but provoke him to anger to see that a creature of his is more beloved then himself and therefore it is likely he took away thy husband because he was more to thee then thy God himself The holy one of Israel is very jealous and cannot endure to be so slighted that other things should have as much of our affections as his excellent goodness which is therefore to be beloved by us above all others because it expresses a love to us above all other creatures What was the reason I beseech you that Widdowhood and Orphanage were so rare in the Ancient times among good people Why did Abraham and his Sarah and Isaac live till a great old age Truly I think it was because Abraham loved God more then either of them and when God did but say unto him Kill thy Son he was as willing to do it as to offer the Sacrifice of a Lamb. But we are heavy and dull we are carried so headlong into the embraces of creatures that God is fain even against our wills to draw our affections to himself by drawing them away from us Do but love God more then thy husband and I will undertake that thou shalt not fall into Widdowhood or thou shalt not feel it when thou fallest into it And I have a good ground for what I avouch For thou hast him for thy Husband and thy defence that never dies and that loves thee infinitely more then any man can do And if this reason be not sufficient to convince thee I have a comparison that will win thy assent Tell me if thou hadst a husband who loved thee so much as if he had no soul but thine one that was as much beloved of others as he loved thee one so wise and discreet that he was as much admired as loved one so gentle and complyant as if he was but wax to thy impressions one by whom thou didst shine as the Moon doth with the rayes of the Sun and suppose thou hadst a child by this dear person who dies before he comes to his full age Wouldst thou be considerately grieved and touched with sorrow for its death while thou didst enjoy such a better love No in no wise He that is so fair and beautifull in thy eyes would supply the want of it as the Sun doth the absence of the Stars He that is more loved and esteemed would obscure and quite hide all the excellencies of the other If therefore thou lovest God more then that husband if his glory put out the lustre of all other things in thine eyes thou wilt be as little troubled at his death as before then wast for the death of thy child Yea far less one would think should thy trouble be in as much as God is infinitely more above that Husband then he above thy child And beside what is that thou receivest from thy Husband that is comparable to what the love of God gives thee Are they not pangs and labours unkind words perhaps and angry chideings Or if thou canst tell me of any goods what are they What are fine cloaths and Jewels and honours and such like things to the Son of God to the Brotherhood and Adoption to the Kingdom and eternal glory to the life of God and Coheirship with the only begotten wilt thou after all this tell me thou canst not but be passionate for the loss of thy Husband If thou wantest him thou hast God If thou wantest thy menial servants and attendants thou hast the guard of spiritual powers the dominions and principalities of heaven are thy Ministers If thou sayest thy children want a Father that cannot be seeing God is the Father of the Fatherless If thou fearest they shall want tell thy self who gave them to thee and whether the life be not more then meat and the body then rayment Or if thou fearest they shall not be so well provided as otherwise they would have been How many could I tell thee of
his Family nor within the verge of his care and were wholly forgotten by him but they should comfort themselves that they are in such safe hands who will do nothing but with the greatest reason and for the most excellent ends 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Antonin l. 2. sect 3. was a pithy saying of one of the better sort of Heathens All Gods actions are full of Providence and therefore there is no reason that we should be displeased as if God did not do well or we could do better You would think it strange if the Flocks and herds should make a mutinie because their Shepherd chuses their pasture for them and will not let them wander into wild desarts and barren places nor stray one from another they know not whether nor run in rank meadows and fat grounds that may breed a rot among them and yet such a thing is our trouble and vexation because we cannot do as we list or are not as we would chuse it is a fond desire to have the rod and the staff out of the hand of the Shepherd of Israel and then we might soon walk into dangerous paths and when we had brought our selves into the valley of the shadow of death find none at all to afford us any comfort It is distrust of God to be troubled about what is to come impatience against God to be troubled for what is present and anger at him to be troubled for what is past This temper of spirit finds fault with his wisdom and blames his goodness and depresses his power and reprehends his faithfulness in the dispose of things and therefore it is a sin and speedily to be amended To be troubled speaks as if God had provided better for the beasts then for mankind for they live in peace within themselves and we hear not of their murmurs and complaints And by the same reason that thou art troubled all the men in the world may be vexed also and so none think or speak well of God but behave themselves as if he cared not for his rational creatures For thou maist consider that God hath endowed thee with an understanding of such a size with abilities and capacities of such a proportion and measured for thee such a fortune and condition as now thou hast if thou be not contented but fretst within thy self that thou art not better then so may another man for he wants something also yea so may all men for they are all imperfect And upon the same grounds that thou art troubled for the want of one particular thing thou maist at the next step be troubled that thou art not a King or that thou art not an Angel and an Angel may also be troubled that he is not a Principality or one of the seven spirits that stand at the Throne of God and one of those may take it ill that he was not made to understand more and so the best things would be most miserable because they understand best their own wants Many Arguments to this purpose might be heaped up from the consideration of Gods Providence but I shall only mention one more Gods Providence hath so ordered the several degrees of things in the world that none of them should be troubled but should mutually help and be assistant unto each other in their several wants and so there is not the greatest man living but stands in needs of the meanest as much as the meanest doth of him just as none of us can live without the beasts no more then many of them can live without us What things we want God hath otherwayes supplyed us with either in some other kind or else in that by some other help Which is an observation that we are so well acquainted withall that we are not discontented because we need clothes and were born naked into the world nor do we account the beasts have a priviledge above us because they come well clad into being and provided with apparel for all their lives or are armed with horns and hoofs because God hath given unto us reason which is a better thing and hath made them both to cloath and to arm us Now so it is in other cases as God hath made the brutes to help us in lesser things so hath he made other men to relieve our greater necessities to comfort us in our sadnesses to supply us in our wants to advise us in our straits and to be eyes and hands unto us if we have no wisdom nor strength of our own yea his own Son hath he given to make an universal provision for us Now when we ask and resolve our selves Which is better to come into the world with clothes on our back or to have reason we should ascend up a little higher in our thoughts and put to our selvs a parallel case which is best to have all in thy own hands and sole disposal or to have a Supream Providence an infinite wisdom to govern all thy affairs When we find the difference between these two let us not live as if God ruled not at all or as if it were better that we did rule then he CAP. II. VVE should not be troubled because We may be good in every condition What should he fear who may alwayes be what he should be What need he be vexed who need not be miserable unless he will What cause hath he to be displeased who may alwayes please God and himself too The Philosophers used to comfort themselves with this The Tyrant may kill me but he cannot hurt me he may make me suffer torments but he cannot make me do a dishonest action I may be poor but still I may be just and I may be contented I may be ill spoken of but still I can do well I may be sick but still I may be patient I may be in prison but there I may pray and sing as Paul and Silas did That which cannot hinder our duty should not be so sadly lamented 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 M. Anton. L. 2. Sect. 11. or as the noble Philosopher and Emperour speaks How should that make the life of man worse which doth not make worse the man himself If we can do what becomes us both to God and men why should we be disturbed at what men do to us If they should take away our lives they cannot take away our Religion We may be holy when they will not let us be men Yea there are some peculiar vertues to be exercised in a suffering condition which else we might not have had occasion for and so we have no reason to be angry if they have done us a courtesie and made us better then we should have been when they intended to have made us worse And that is the fourth thing which I desire may be considered We may make an advantage of every accident according to that of the Apostle Rom. 8.28 All things shall work together for good to those that love God viz.
exemplified the same truth that he had taught For when by the Embassadors of Baeotia he askt the Oracle What was the very best thing that could befal men The answer was V. etiam Suidam in voc 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 that Pindar knew well enough if he did not lie when he wrote the story of Agamedes but if he doubted he should shortly know what it was This he interpreted to signifie his death which within a few dayes after hapned But perhaps we are not of this mind and I need not go to an Oracle to know the reason which is plainly this We are acquainted with no other life but this If the world had not so much of our hearts we shoul not find any fault with the necessity of death because it would become desirable We should not then be so sorry for our friends departure as for our own stay We should be glad that neither they nor we were necessitated to dwell there alwayes where there are so many troubles that he is happiest who is soonest freed from them But there were many that thought not much of the goodness of death who yet were comforted with the bare thoughts of necessity How many Heathens might I tell you of who fled to this one truth for refuge and found protection under it against the assaults of sorrow Nothing is hapned to me but what hapneth to all The first minute that we began to live we began to dye This is not the first but the last moment of death It is now finished but it was born when we were born When one came and told Anaxagoras in the midst of a lecture that his child was dead Hold thy peace said he I knew that I begate a son that was mortal and so proceeded in his Discourse without any accents of grief or a mournful tone And so another said to his friend when he saw him weeping for his wife I thought you had known that you married a woman and not a Goddess Do but remember then what the thing is that thou lovest and thou must be willing either to leave or not to love it As they used to stand behind them that triumphed and to admonish them You are but mortal men so let us say to our selves when Love is in its greatest flames Arrian l. 3. cap. 24. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 I love a dying person What hurt is there while we embrace and kiss a child to say 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 to morrow it may dye and so to discourse with our friends To think of their death doth not make our lives uncomfortable To morrow either you or I may go away and never thus embrace any more Doth it make it our love the less doth it make us avoid their presence No therefore we are so greedy of our friends society because we know not how long we may enjoy them It makes love more fervently desirous to have all of them now because it knows that it may have none of them ere it be long It teaches us to use their friendship to the best advantages we can because we are not like to have the use of it as long as we please The knowledge of our departure doth not part friends now but makes them cleave the closer until they depart Let us be willing they should die and that will not abate of our love for we cannot be willing until we have loved them as much as we can We shall be loth they should go without the best testimonies of our love and that will make us only improve our time to have the benefit of them and they of us Epist 63. Seneca tells in one of his Letters that he who gave a great deal of good counsel to others not to grieve was himself almost made an example of one overcome with grief But the truth of it is saith he there was no other cause of that mourning which I must now condemn but only this I did not use to think that my friend might die before me I only had in my mind that he was younger much younger then my self whereas I ought to have added What is this to the purpose Though he ought I imagine to die after me yet he may die before me Because I did not thus meditate I received a stroak when I was unarmed which went to my heart But now I think both that all things are mortal and that their is no certain order of mortality That which may be at all may be to day And if you think that your friend may die to day then why do you not begin to mourn since his death is so near unless you mean to take it patiently when it comes If you will lament the death of your friends so sadly why do you not prepare your lamentations seeing death may be so near If you think it is not so near then it is likely your sorrow will be violent when it comes because sudden If you think it is and yet do not mourn then why should you lament that so sadly at night which you did not weep for at all at noon Plutarch There were some creatures they say in Pontus whose life lasted but one day They were born in the morning and came to their full growth at noon and grew old in the evening and at night dyed If these animals had been masters of the reason that we have would they have lamented after our fashion would they have mourned for one that chanced to die at noon when as it could not live longer then night No that which is necessary it is no matter when it comes And because we are of a longer life our trouble at death is not to be the greater but the less For it is a greater wonder that we did not die many dayes agone then that we die to day But some will say The kind of death is not so considerable as death it self that it is not death it self but the kind of death that so troubles them They could have been contented if he had gone out of the world another way But I beseech you do you know what will please your selves Can you tell what sort of death it is that would content you are there any that do not blame their hard fortune and wail and mourn as if none were so miserable are not men equally troubled if one dye of a Feavour and another of a Consumption if their love be equal It is very plain that he that perswades himself to part with his friends will not grieve for the manner of the parting He that can overcome himself in the greater cause of grief will not suffer the less so easily to overcome him And therefore you see that men have alwayes something to find fault withall If a friend die in a far Countrey then they say Alas that we should not see him before he dyed how sad is it that we should not take our leave If he dye at home
then they say who could endure to hear his groans how sad was it to see him in the agonies of death If he die and speak nothing then they say O if he might but have told us his mind if he had left us any remembrances it would have been some comfort If he did speak then they tell his speeches to every one and say O my sweet child or friend I shall never forget thy words Would you have me put out of my mind his dying speeches and so those sayings are a perpetual nourishment and food to their grief If he die on a sudden then they lament because he was snatch rather then went away If he dye of a lingring sickness then they say he was nothing but skin and bone a meer Anatomy never any creature endured so much as he did and so they are sad they know not for what for they would not have had him gone away so fast And indeed men never want some causes or pretences for their grief but the true reason is that they would not have had them to have dyed at all Let us therefore digest these considerations well and so proceed to the next which shall be this Let us consider well who it is for whom we make our lamentations Who is it I say §. 5. II. We must consider who the persons are that die that death hath taken away from us Perhaps it is an Infant a poor little weakling newly crept into the light And this hath the least of wonder in it of all other things that such a little spark of life should be blown out Comforts against the loss of children A greater wonder it is that it was not strangled in the gate of the womb A little while ago it had no life and it is now but as it then was We were once content without it why cannot we be content without it now It never loved us nor was capable to shew any affection to us and therefore we may the better part with it It was scarce tyed to our heart and therefore it need not make the strings crack It was not unwilling to go out of the world and if it had lived longer death would have been more against its will It hath lost no great matter for it knew not the benefits of life It hath cost us nothing and we have been at a small charge about it and therefore we have lost nothing neither but only it a coffin and a winding sheet If it could have known the miseries of living and it had been put to its choise very likely it would not have chosen for to live but to be what now it is It hath not blotted its soul by any sin nor deflowred the Virgin purity wherein it was born If it have any thing to complain of it is only this that it was born And therefore let us be content for it is better perhaps for it and not much the worse for us If we weep so much for an Infant what shall we do for a man either let us now let down the sluce or else expect that we shall then be drowned If he had lived to be a man it might have done as we do miserably bewail the death of its children And therefore either let us not bewail it or else think that it is happy that it lived not to be so miserable as we think our selves and both ways our grief will be cured But suppose it be a child of a larger growth Unreasonable to mourn for one when we have more whose death extorts these tears from us Yet it is but one and we may have many more remaining Shall we lose all the content of a great many because we suffer the wants of one If the life of this one would have pleased us so much then how joyful should we be in the life of four or five If it be such a grief to lose a child then let us be thankful that we lie not under the miserable grief of losing them all But if we cannot take this patiently then I doubt we shall run mad with impatience if God should take them all away We must learn to part with more by parting willingly with this one for all must die too Can he bear a stone weight who cannot endure the load of one pound and yet how justly may we fear that all the rest should shortly follow seeing we fret so much at Gods hand in this Suppose that this was the most goodly child yet not fairer sure then all the rest put together Or if he was most beautiful yet some of the others may be more wise If this had all our love then we may learn now how to divide our love equally and take pleasure in loving more If he loved us most then he would have wisht us if he had thought of it not to make our selves miserable by mourning for him Dion Chryst Orat. 30. So Charidemus said to his friends when he was a dying It is Gods will that I should die and there can nothing that is hurtful come from him I am very willing to die and I beseech you believe me in what I say for I have a greater care to speak truth now then any of you can have Grieve not for me for I grieve not do not make your selves miserable for I think not my self to be so 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 As much as ever you are able refrain from all sadness for no sad thing hath befaln me Thus we should say to our friends if we love them and therefore their love to us should not make us sad because they would have all they love to be chearful If they could tell us their mind they would certainly bid us cease our mourning and therefore let us do that our selves which they would have us for to do But let it be supposed that it is an only child Or when we may have more yet are there not many hopes that you may have more who gave you this cannot he give you another hath not he that hath the keyes of the grave the keyes of the womb also If one die then as long as the world lasts another shall be born And if we desire children for the good of the world then so they be born it is no matter by whom But if for our own sake then we may have them as well as others but grief I will assure you is not the way to get them Or if God will give us none then we may adopt one Any child will love us as if it was our own if it know not that it is any bodies else Nay any one will love and serve us for what we have and in stead of one we shall have many that will thank us more then he perhaps to be our heirs but if we have nothing then why should we desire children for to leave them miserable But as I said why should we not hope for more and those better
no friend yet shortly we may have no enemy neither This was one support to the Christians under their persecutions that though their enemies like Saul did breath out nothing but threatnings and slaughters against them yet their breath was but in their nostrils and might soon evaporate and vanish away Julian called the Apostate had done more hurt to the Christians then the ten Persecutions if death had not suddenly wounded him with one of his arrows The Marian flames had devoured in all likelihood a great many moâ—e bodies if death had not shortnâ—d her reign and so extinguished the fires We have no reason then to look upon it as unkind which may do us so many courtesies nor to accuse that of cruelty to us which destroys the cruelty of others towards us XIII And now may you not well make one question more to your selves and say Contentment hath more to say for it self then grief hath Is there not more reason to be comforted then there is to be sad If there be as certainly there is what should hinder your comfort if you live by reason If you do not live by it then nothing that a man can say will comfort you Nothing will chear us unless we think of it and make it our own by meditation neither will any thing sadden us unless we think of it also Seeing then they are our own thoughts that make us either sad or merry and we have more comfortable thoughts then heavy we cannot but be of good chear if we will not be enemies to our selves All that we can say for our sadness is that we have lost a friend a very dear and perhaps only friend But you have heard that there are more in the world and that you have not lost this and that you have more comforts remaining then are taken away and that if you had none but God you had enough and if you will read again what hath been said twenty other reasons will offer themselves to chear for one that arises to make you sad If there was no reason at all to be sad then none need spend any time in giving of comfort But if they be very few in compare with others and we are made to follow the most and strongest reasons then he is not to be pittied who notwithstanding the small reason of his sorrow will not be of good comfort The greatest cause that I know of this sort of trouble is when many that we love die soon after one another So it hapned to that Prince which the L. L. 1. Essay cap. 2. Mountainge speaks of who received the news of his Elder Brothers death whom he highly esteemed with a great deal of constancy and shortly after the tidings of his younger Brothers decease in whom he placed much hope did not alter the smoothness of his countenance But when one of his servants dyed not long after that he suffered himself to be so far transsported that he quitted his former resolution and gave up himself to all grief and sorrow The reason of this was not from the love that he bare to this person more then the rest but as he well saith because being top full of sorrow before the next flood must needs break the banks or overflow all the bounds of patience And so Hier. Cardan tells us In Dialog cui tit Guilielmus that after he had patiently born many reproaches and the cruel infamous death of a son of great hopes and the dangerous sickness of another son and the death of his parents and wife with many other evils yea and after he wrote a book of Consolation against all these evils yet he was overcome with grief at the death of an English youth whom he brought from Dover with him as he passed from Scotland in the time of Edward the sixth And he gives the same reason for it that the other doth Fatigatum multis adversis oppressit me haec extrema infaelicitas being wearied before with many griefs this last unhappiness made me fall to the ground It was not its strength but his own fore-going weaknesse that made him fall It was not heavy but it came upon the back of many other loads and so oppressed him But something hath been said to this also For holy Job was in the same condition and far worse one messenger did tread upon the heels of another to bring him tidings of his misery and yet he was patient though he himself likewise was in his own body most sadly afflicted We have the same grounds of comfort that he had and abundance more then was known in those younger times And when one cause of trouble falls upon the neck of another we can add one reason likewise unto another and so be comforted For our troubles can never be so many as the causes of our consolation are Yea one single reason of those that I have propounded will answer all Do we not know very well that all friends are mortal Then it can be no new thing if we well consider it for two or three to die after we have lost one But the loss of one doth rather mind us of the mortality of all And doth not God govern the world in the death of the last as well as of the first then there is no less wisdom and goodness in it when many die then when one He that can solidly comfort himself in the death of one will not be immoderately troubled for the loss of more If we let our grief indeed work under-ground while nothing of it appears if our hearts be loaded with it though our eyes look not heavily before others then it is no wonder if it do at last break forth when the heart is over-charged and can find no other way to ease it self But if we take a course to comfort our hearts at the very first and make them truly contented or if we let not the grief settle it self but labour to dislodge it then we shall be the better disposed to bear such another cross with the like patience For then a new trouble doth not come upon the other but only follows after it It doth not adde to the former but only comes in its stead it doth not augment but only renew our grief XIV And now is it not time to conclude these questions and to say to your selves We should not be the more troubled because we understand our trouble Why should not reason do that which little or no reason can do The more we are men shall we be the less in peace and cry like children Nay children weep while they see their parents put into the grave and within a day or two they forget their sorrows why cannot we do so also Though they know not their loss yet they know not the reasons neither why they should not be discontented for their loss Though they have little understanding of their sufferings yet they have as little knowledge of our comforts
our hearts The hands as Ant. Guevara observes do work the seet do walk the tongue speaks but it is the heart only that weeps The eyes are but the spunges of the heart through which its affections are drained and dried up An afflicted heart hath neither hands to labour nor feet to walk nor can it find a tongue to speak but tears are all that it hath to tell you what it wants And therefore we ought to reserve these for some greater thing then our dead friends which our heart ought much to be affected withall As our Saviour said to the women of Jerusalem when he was going to the most cruel sufferings so might our friends say to us when they are a dying Weep not for us but weep for your selves if you be dead while you are alive Mourn more then you do if you have not yet mourned for your sins and amended them But if you have then rejoyce in the favour of God and bless him for his Son Jesus who is better to thee then ten Sons or all thy friends which thou lamentest Are our sins dead as well as our friends have we buried them in the grave of our Lord are we risen again to an heavenly life let us go then to God and pray to him and praise him and this will give us ease But if we be troubled for sin then sure we shall not add another sin by immoderate sorrow and forgetfulness of Gods goodness If it be sin we hate then mourning complaints and discontents must all be hated Would you indispose your self to pray to praise God and meditate in his sacred Word Would you render your self unfit to receive the Sacrament of his most blessed body and blood If not then mourn but so much as will not hinder any of these and you have leave to mourn as much as you please Stop but here and there is no man will lay any restraints upon you But then how short your mourning must be you will soon guess and the Sun must not go down upon your grief no more then it must upon your wrath But if you take no great care whether you disturb your souls or no then you have most reason to mourn for that carelesness and neglect Go then and bewail your unkindness to God your unthankfulness for his mercies and unbelief of his Gospel for you can never take your hearts in a better time then when they are so sad and inclined to be sorrowful Tell them that now they are very well disposed for a necessary business and bid them look if there be not something else to bewail that is more considerable Ask thy self hast thou not deserved this and ten times more Wilt thou add another sin when thou shouldst cease all sins Hast thou not been careless of seeking God Hast thou not foolishly wasted thy precious time and art thou not troubled at all for that Yea art thou now impatient as if God dealt hardly with thee and wilt thou spend more time badly when thou art taught by the death of thy friend how short it is It is most incongruous thus to bewail the death of a child or acquaintance when thou art like to die thy self both body and soul And when thou hast mourned for thy sins thou wilt be taught thereby how little thou oughtest to mourn for thy losses For even our tears for sin must not be immoderate and therefore much less must we dare to let them flow in abundance for our losses So you know the great Apostle commands the Corinthians to comfort him that had been guilty of a great sin and receive him again into the Church now that he repented lest perhaps such an one should be swallowed up with overmuch sorrow 2 Corinth 2.7 I wish all those who are ready to destroy themselves with grief would seriously confider this that we may not over-load our hearts with grief for our sins themselves which are the causes of all other sorrows We cannot please the Devil better then by discontent He would fain oppress every good man with some passion or other let us take heed how we joyn with him against our selves If we have left his service that is enough to provoke him If we have bid defiance to his pleasures this doth incense him and we must expect that he will endeavour to overcome us with griefs The Devil is mad against all good men and therefore let all those who have irritated him against them beware how they now prove cowards and execute his vengeance for him with their own hands Let us take heed as Photius excellently expresseth it lest we be good at stirring up and provoking the envy and rage of our adversary but naught at resisting and overcoming him by patience and perseverance to the end 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 But if we must needs weep for the loss of something here let it be for the afflictions of the people of God Let us mourn to see the Church sit like a widdow in her black garments Let it pitty us to see the blood of Gods servants shed like water upon the ground If our own sins do not trouble us let us weep to see the wickedness of the world and let our eyes run down with tears to think that men do not keep Gods Law Some such channel we should cut for our tears and not let them spend themselves on this fashion about our own personal troubles This is a method both to stop our tears and likewise to make them useful to us while they run It is a way to ease us of our present grief and of all others also We shall exchange that sorrow that would have troubled us for a great deal of joy and comfort Whereas our worldly grief would have left the heart sad this will leave it light and merry Believe throughly that the Lord Jesus lives III. The life of our Lord Jesus gives us the greatest comfort against death and so thou maist both expect a resurrection from the dead and likewise hope for comfort from him when thou art left sad and desolate The Body it self doth not die any more then corn doth which dies that it may live and spring up again with large gain and advantage Are we loth to throw the corn into the ground and do we not patiently expect till the harvest comes Why should we then bury our friends with so many tears seeing they are but laid in the womb of their mother again that by the power of God they may have a better birth The Heathen could say much to comfort themselves but they knew not this comfort for indeed they were rather contented then comforted Those that did think themselves most wise and judged that they had the best supports did only dream that the soul might take another body and shift its place at several times But we know that there will be a time when even our scattered ashes will fly into one anothers embraces again and a new life