you I am content your wit shall saue your honesty for this once Ki. Peace a plague OR you peace but wherefore asked you how I did Queene Because I feared that you were hurte my Lord Ki Hurt how I pray Lem. Why hurt Madam I am well againe Quee. Do you aske why he told me Dowsecer and this his friend threatned to take away Ki. To take away what should they take away Le. Name it Madam Qu. Nay I pray name it you Le. Why then thus it was my liege I told her Dowsecer and this his friende threatned to take away and if they could the instrument of procreation and what was that now but Martia beeing a fayre woman is not shee the instrument of procreation as all women are Qu. O wicked man Le. Go to go to you are one of those fiddles too yfaith Ki. Well pardon my minion that hath frayd you thus t was but to make you mery in the end Qu. I ioy it endes so well my gracious Lord Fo. But say my gracious Lord is no harme done betweene my louing daughter and your grace Ki. No of my honor and my soule Foyes Dow. The fire of loue which she hath kindled in me being greater then my heate of vanity hath quite expelled Ki Come Dowsecer receiue with your lost wittes your loue though lost I know you le yeeld my lord and you her father Both Most ioyfully my Lord Ki. And for her part I know her dispositioÌ„ well enough Lem. What will you haue her Dow. Yea mary will I Le. I le go and tell Labesha presently Enter Iaquis and my Host Ia. Monsieur I emot I pray let me speake with you I come to you from the Lord Moren who would desire you to speake to the King for my masters lottery and he hath my place to beare a torch for bare faced hee dares not look vpon his wife for his life Le. O excellent I le further thy masters lottery and it be but for this iest only harke you my liege here 's the poore man hath bin at great charges for the preparation of a lottery and he hath made the rarest deuice that I know you wil take great pleasure in it I pray let him present it before you at Valeros house Ki. Whith all my heart can you be ready so soone Host. Presently and if it like your grace Ki. But hearke you Lemot how shall we do for euery mans posie Le. Will you all trust me with the making of them All With all our hearts Le. Why then I le go to make the poses and bring I abesha to the lottery presently Enter Florila like a Puritan Flo. Surely the world is full of vanitie a woman must take heed she do not heare a lewd man speake for euery woman cannot when shee is tempted when the wicked fiend gets her into his snares escape like me for graces measure is not so filled vp nor so prest downe in euery one as me but yet I promise you a little more well I le go seeke my head who shal take me in the gates of his kind armes vntoucht of any King What Madam are you so pure now Flo. Yea would not you be pure King No puritane Flo. You must be then a diuell I can tell you Lab. O wife where hast thou beene Flo. where did I tell you I would be I pray Lab. In thy close walke thou saidst Flo. And was not Lab. Truly know not I neither looked nor knocked for Labesha told me that you and faire Martia were at Verones ordinarie Ki. Labesha my lord you are a wise man to beleeue a fool Flo. Well my good head for my part I forgiue you but surely you do much offend to be suspicious where there is no trust there is no loue and where there is no loue twixt man and wife there 's no good dealing surely for as men should euer loue their wiues so should they euer trust theÌ„ for what loue is there where there is no trust King She tels you true my lord Lab. Shee doth my liege and deare wife pardon this and I will neuer be suspicious more Flo. Why I say I do Enter Lemot leading Labesha in a halter Lem. Looke you my liege I haue done simple seruice amongest you here is one had hanged himselfe for loue thinking his Mistresse had done so for him well see your Mistresse liues Labesâ—. And doth my Mistresse liue King Shee doth O noble knight but not your Mistresse now Lab. Sblood but she shall for me or for no body else Lem. How now what a traitor draw vpon the King Lab. Yea or vpon any woman here in a good cause King Well sweete Besha let her marry Dowsecer I le get thee a wife worth fifteene of her wilt thou haue one that cares not for thee Lab. Not I by the Lord I scorne her I le haue her better if I can get her King Why that 's well said Lem. What Madam are you turned puritan againe Elo. When was I other pray Lem. Marie I le tell you when when you went to the Ordinarie and when you made false signes to your husband which I could tell him all Flo. Cursed be he that maketh debate twixt man wife Lem. O rare scripturian you haue sealed vp my lips a hall a hall the pageant of the Butterie Enter two with torches the one of them Moren then my host and his son then his maid drest like Queene Fortune with two pots in her hands King What is he Lem. This is Verones sonne my liege King What shall he do Cat Speak some speach that his father hath made for him Qu. Why is he good at speeches Cat. O he is rare at speaches Boy Faire ladies most tender and nobles most slender and gentles whose wits be scarce Ki. My host why do you call vs nobles most slender Host. And it shall please your Grace to be slender is to be proper and therfore where my boy saies nobles most slender it is as much to say fine and proper nobles Le. Yea but why do you call vs gentles whose wits are scarce Host. To be scarce is to be rare and therefore where as he sayes Gentles whose wits be scarce is as much as to say Gentles whose wits be rare Lem. Well forwards trunchman Boy Faire ladies most tender and nobles most slender and gentles whose wittes bee scarce Queene Fortune doth come with her trumpe and her drumme as it may appeare by my voice Lab. Come hither are you a schoolemaister where was Fortune Queene of what countrey or kingdome Host. Wy sir Fortune was Queene ouer all the world Lab. That 's a lie there 's none that euer conquered all the world but maister Alisander I am sure of that Lem. O rare Monsieur Labesha who would haue thought hee could haue found so rare a fault in the speach Host. I le alter it if it please your grace King No t is very well Boy Father I must begin againe they
this wil bind me much to you Bla. Monseur Lemot your kindnes in this will bind me much to you Le. I pray you do not say so sir Blan. I pray you do not say so sir Le. Wil t please you to go in Blan. Wil t please you to go in Le. I will follow you Blan. I will follow you Le. It shall be yours Blan. It shall be yours Le. Kind Monsieur Blanuel Blan. Kind Monsier Lemot Exit Enter Foyes and Martia and Besha Foyes. Come on faire daughter fall to your worke of mind and make your body fit to imbrace the body of this Gentlemans t is art happy are they say I Be. I protest sir you speake the best that euer I heard Fo. I pray sir take acquaintance of my daughter Be. I do desire you of more acquaintance Fo. Why dost not thou say yea and I the same of you Mar. That euery body sayes Fo. O you would be singular Mar. Single indeede Fo. Single indeede that 's a prety toy Your betters dame beare double and so shall you Be. Fxceeding prety did you marke it forsooth Mar. What should I marke forsooth Be. Your bearing double which equificate is hath fit illusion to a horse that beares double for your good father meanes you shall indure your single life no longer not in worse sence then bearing double forsooth Mar. I crie you mercy you know both belike Be. Knowlege forsooth is like a horse and you that can beare double it nourisheth both Bee and Spider the Bee honnisuckle the Spider poyson I am that Bee Mar. I thought so by your stinging witte Be. Lady I am a Bee without a sting no way hurting any but good to all and before all to your sweete selfe Fo. afore God daughter thou art not worthy to heare him speake but who comes here Enter Colinet Co. God saue you sir Fo. You are welcome sir for ought that I know yet Co. I hope I shall be so still sir Fo. What is your busines sir and then I le tell you Co. Marry thus sir the Countesse Morene intreats your faire daughter to beare her company this fore-noone Fo. This forenoone sir doth my Lord or Lady send for her I pray Co. My Lady I assure you Fo. My Lady you assure me very wel sir yet that house is full of gallant Gentlemen dangerous thornes to pricke yong maides I can tell you Co. There are none but honest and honourable Gentlemen Fo. Al is one sir for that I le trust my daughter with any man but no man with my daughter only your selfe Monser Besha whom I wil intreat to be her gardian to bring her home againe Co. I will waite vpon her and it please you Fo No sir your weight vpō her wil not be so good here Monser Besha I deliuer my daughter vnto you a perfect maide and so I pray you looke well vnto her Co. Farewell Monser Foyes Besh. I warrant I le looke vnto her wel enough Mistris will it please you to preambulate Ma. With all my heart Exeunt Enter the puritane Florila What haue I done put on too many clothes the day is hote and I am hoter clad then might suffice health my conscience telles me that I haue offended and I le put them off that will aske time that might be better spent one sin will draw another quickly so see how the diuell tempts but what 's here iewels how should these come here Enter Laberuele Lab. Good morrow louely wife what hast thou there Flo. Iewels my Lord which here I strangely found Lab. That 's strange indeede what where none comes but when your selfe is here surely the heauens haue rained thee iewels for thy holy life and vsing thy olde husbande louingly or else doe Fairies haunt this holy greene as euermore mine auncesters haue thought Flo. Fairies were but in times of ignorance not since the true pure light hath beene reuealed and that they come from heauen I scarce beleeue for iewels are vaine things much gold is giuen for such fantastical fruitlesse iewels and therfore heauen I know wil not maintain the vse of vanitie surely I feare I haue much sinned to stoupe take take them vp bowing my bodie to an idle worke the strength that I haue had to this verie deed might haue beene vsed to take a poore soule vp in the his way Lab. You are too curious wise behold your iewels what me thinks ther 's posies written on thē Dispaire not of children loue with the longest whē man is at the weakest god is at the strongest Wonderfull rare and wittie nay diuine why this is heauenly cōfort for thee wife what is this other God will reward her a thousand folde that takes what age can not what age would The best that euer I heard no mortall braine I thinke did euer vtter such conceit for good plaine matter and for honest rime Flo. Vaine Poetry I pray you burne them sir La. You are to blame wife heauen hath sent you them to decke your self withall like to your self not to go thus like a milk-maid why there is difference in all estats by al religiō Flo. There is no difference Lab. I prethee wife be of another mind and weare these iewels and a veluet hood Flo A veluet hood O vaine diuelish deuise a toy made with a superfluous flap which being cut off my head were still aswarme Diogenes did cast away his dish because his hand would serue to help him drinke surely these heathens shall rise vp against vs Lab. Sure wife I thinke thy keeping alwaies close making thee melancholy is the cause we haue no children and therefore if thou wilt be mery and keepe companie a gods name Flo. Sure my lord if I thought I shold be rid of this same banishment of barrennes and vse our marriage to the end it was made which was for procreation I should sinne if by my keeping house I should neglect the lawful means to be a fruitful mother therfore if it please you I le vse resort Lab. Gods my passion what haue I done who woulde haue thought her purenesse would yeeld so soone to courses of temptations nay harke you wife I am not sure that going abroad will cause fruitfulnesse in you that you know none knowes but God himselfe Flo. I know my lord t is true but the lawfull means must still be vsed Lab. Yea the lawfull meanes indeed must still but now I remember that lawfull meanes is not abroad Flo. Well well I le keepe the house still Lab. Nay heark you lady I would not haue you thinke mary I must tel you this if you shuld change the maner of your life the world would think you changed religion too Flo. T is true I will not go Lab. Nay if you haue a fancie Flo Yea a fancie but that 's no matter La. Indeed fancies are not for iudicial religious womē Enter Catalian like a scholer Cat. God saue your lordship you
hand my owne deare heart this hand that I adore and reuerence and loath to haue it touch an olde mans bosome O let me sweetely kisse it he bites Flo. Out on thee wretch he hath bit me to the bone O barbarous Canibal now I perceiue thou wilt make me a mocking stocke to all the world Le. Come come leaue your passions they cannot mooue mee my father and my mother died both in a day and I rung mee a peale for them and they were no sooner brought to the church and laide in their graues but I fetcht me two or three fine capers aloft and took my leaue of them as men do of their mistresses at the ending of a galiard Besilos manus Flo. O brutish nature how accurst was I euer to indure the sound of this damned voice Le. Well and you do not like my humor I can be but sory for it I bit you for good will and if you accept it so if no go Flo. Vilain thou didst it in contempt of me Le. Well and you take it so so be it harke you Madam your wisest course is euen to become puritane againe put off this vaine attire and say I haue despised all thanks my God good husband I do loue thee in the Lord and he good man will thinke all this you haue done was but to shew thou couldest gouerne the world and hide thee as a rainebow doth a storme my dainty wench go go what shall the flattering words of a vaine man make you forget your dutie to your husband away repent amend your life you haue discredited your religion for euer Flo. Well wench for this foule shame thou puttest on me the curse of all affection light on thee Exit Le. Go Abacuck go why this is excellent I shal shortly become a schoolemaster to whom men will put their wiues to practise well now wil I go set the Queene vpō the King and tell her where he is close with his wench and he that mends my humor take the spurres sit fast for by heauen I le iurke the horse you ride on Enter my host Catalian Blanuel Berger Iaquis Maide and Boy Host. Well Gentlemen I am vtterly vndone without your good helpes it is reported that I receiued certaine ladies or gentlewomen into my house no here 's my man my maid and my boy now if you saw any speak boldly before these Gentlemen Ia. I saw none sir Boy Nor I by my maidenhead Boy Nor I as I am a man Ca. Wel my host wee le go answere for your house at this time but if at other times you haue had wenches and would not let vs know it we are the lesse beholding to you Exeunt al but my host and the Gentleman Ber. Peraduenture the more beholding to him but I laye my life Lemot hath deuised some ieast he gaue vs the slip before dinner Cat. Well Gentlemen since we are so fitly mette I le tell you an excellent subiect for a fit of myrth and if it bee well handled Ber. Why what is it Cat. Why man Labesha is grown maruelous malecontent vpon some amorous disposition of his mistres and you know he loues a mease of cream and a spice-cake with his heart and I am sure he hath not dined to day and he hath taken on him the humour of the yong lord Dowsecer and we will set a mease of creame a spice-cake and a spoone as the armour picture and apparell was set in the way of Dowsecer which I doubt not but will woorke a rare cure vpon his melancholie Host. Why this is excellent I le go fetch the creame Cat. And I the cake Ber. And I the spoone Exeunt and come in againe Cat. See where hee comes as like the lord Dowsecer as may be nowe you shall heare him begin with some Latin sentence that hee hath remembred euer since hee read his Accidence Enter Labesha La. Felix quē faciunt aliena pericula cantum O sillie state of things for things they be that cause this sillie state and what is a thing a bable a toy that stands men in small stead but what haue we here what vanities haue we here Host. He is strongly tempted the lord strengthen him see what a vaine he hath Lab. O cruell fortune and dost thou spit thy spite at my poore life but O sowre creame what thinkest thou that I loue thee still no no faire and sweete is my mistries if thou haddest strawberries and sugar in thee but it may bee thou art set with stale cake to choke me well taste it and trie it spoonefull by spoonefull bitterer and bitterer still but O sowre creame wert thou an Onion since Fortune set thee for mee I will eate thee and I will deuour thee in spite of Fortunes spite choake I or burst I mistres for thy sake to end my life eate I this creame and cake Cat. So he hath done his Melancholy is well eased I warrant you Host. Gods my life Gentlemen who hath beene at this creame Lab. Creame had you creame where is your creame I le spend my penny at your creame Cat. Why did not you eate this creame Lab. Talke not to me of creame for such vaine meate I do despise as food my stomack dies drowned in the cream boules of my mistres eyes Cat. Nay-stay Labesha Lab. No not I not I Host. O he is ashamed yfayth but I will tell thee howe thou shalt make him mad indeed say his mistres for loue of him hath drowned her selfe Cat. Sblood that will make him hang himselfe Exeunt omnes Enter the Queene Lemot and all the rest of the lordes and the Countesse Lemots arme in a scarffe Lemot. haue at them yfayth with a lame counterfeite humor ake on rude arme I care not for thy paine I got it nobly in the kings defence and in the gardiance of my faire Queenes right Qu. O tell me sweet Lemot how fares the king or what his right was that thou didst defend Lem. That you shall know when other things are told Lab. Keepe not the Queene too long without her longing Foyes. No for I tell you it is a daungerous thing Coun. Little care cruell men how women long Le. What would you haue me then put poyson in my breath and burne the eares of my attentiue Queene Quee. Tell me what ere it be I le beare it all Lem. beare with my rudenesse then in telling it for alas you see I can but act it with the left hande this is my gesture now Quee. T is well enough Lem. Yea well enough you say this recompence haue I for all my woundes then thus the King inamoured of an other ladie compares your face to hers and saies that yours is fat and flat and that your neather lip was passing big Quee. O wicked man doth he so sodainlie condemne my beautie that when he married me he thought diuine for euer blasted be that strumpets face as all my hopes are blasted that did change them Lem. Nay