Debar both Ace and Sice To rook each other with fine Feats They both bring in false Dice The first throws for the Covenant Next who shall rule and sway For Jocky now doth swear and rant He 'll have no more soul play The Sectaries cry'd Have at all When first the Dice were thrown But rather than the Scots shall brawl They 'll part stakes in the Crown The Devils reign is short though fierce Then let our Music sound The Drawers all the Hogsheads pierce And make the Healths go round Here 's a Health to the King in Sack To the Houses in Small-Beer In Vineger to th' crabbed Pack Of Priests at Westminster Next to revive our fainting States Fill out some Aqua vitae 'T were pity on the Bridge such Pates Should meet in a Committee Let 's water th' Royal Plants with Tears Of rich divine Canary Drink on Cav'liers t' all Loyal Peers Then end with Charles and Mary Full forty thousand Scots by Vote Must visit us e're long Brave Army sure when ev'ry Scot Is forty thousand strong Though th' Houses have deserv'd these plagues GOD keep our Nation free Like Egypt let not us by Rags And Vermin conquer'd be For shame for shame call home your King With Honour let him treat His Nature is without a sting His Motto To forget Return return Disloyal Crue Of Men forsworn if not Rather than thus we 'll stoop to you We 'll Idolize the Scot. Come Mahomet thy Turn is next Now Gospel's out of date The Alcoran may prove Good Text In our new Turkish-State Thou dost unto thy Priests allow The sin of full four Wives Ours scarce will be content with now Five Livings and nine Lives Thy Saints and ours are all alike Their Vertues flow from Vice No Bliss they do believe and seek But an Earthly Paradice A Heav'n on Earth they hope to gain But we do know full well Could they their glorious ends attain This Kingdom must be Hell From Prison now return the King The Queen and Prince from France For Chosen Charles the Welsh-men sing And stoutly lead the Dance The Scotch-Bag-Pipes the Pulpit-Drums And Priests sound high and big Once more the Cause and Cov'nant comes To shew's a Scotish Jig The Irish will a Voyage take To join their force in one And whilst they frisk a Galliard make The Houses sing O Hone. Three Kingdoms thus must dance the Hay But ere the Members run We 'll see they shall the Music pay And then the Dance is done Seven years by phrentic Votes and Fits Our Worthies bore command Then did they run out of their Wits But now out of the Land No more shall they the City ride Like a fine Golden Ass The Navy's rigg'd with Wind and Tide They stay but for a Pass But if they linger long behind And keep their King in Bands I 'll undertake it shall be sign'd By a hundred thousand Hands For prosp'rous Gales then on the Deep Let their Priests prate and pray By Order and at Margarets keep An Humiliation-day The Factious now each other rout With Jealousies and Fear The Independents face about The rest cry Aâ— you were The Presbyters put forth their Horns To guard their Goods and Homes The She-Militia likewise scorns Their Cocks should lose their Combs Then toll I pray the Passing-Bell For our new State-Committee These monstrous Votes which made them swell Are cow'd down by the City Sweet John-a-Nokes and John-a-Styles And worshipful Jack-Straws Of both the Junto's leave your Wiles And give 's our King and Laws Betwixt two thieves our Saviour once Suffer'd for us and di'd So 'twixt two thievish Factions Our King is crucifi'd Caesar not Christ the ancient Jews Paid tribute of their Treasure Our Jews no King but Christ will chuse And rob and cry down Caesar Now for the King the zealous Kirk ' Gainst th' Independent bleats When as alass their only wirk Is to renew old Cheats If they can sit vote what they list And crush the new States down Then up go They but neither Christ Nor King shall have his own The Pox the Plague and each Disease Are cur'd though they invade us But never look for Health and Peace If once Presbyt'ry jade us When ev'ry Priest becomes a Pope Then Tinkers and Sow-gelders May if they can but ' scape the Rope Be Princes and Lay-Elders If once the Kirk-men pitch their Tents Without our Assembly-Asses Synods will eat up Parliaments Courts be devour'd by Classes Look to 't ye Gentry else be Slaves To Slaves that can't abide ye Though ye have been cow'd down by Knaves Oh! let not Fools now ride ye But sev'n years of a thousand 't is Our Saints must Rulers be So they shall lose in years of bliss Nine hundred ninety three No more then let those Rabbies trust Unto the Revelation For their Interpreter is Lust And Pride makes Application Religion but a Pack-horse is To carry on Designes The Bible like a Juglers Box Us'd by our State-Divines Texts are tormented one by one Like Votes now here now there Thus Hocus-Pocus is out-done By them at Westminster The Banes are askt the Marriage next Goes forward in the City For now the Match is made betwixt Them and the State-Committee Thou Strumpet London tell not us Of Babel any more If from thy King thou partest thus Thou art the greater Whore Thy Bags their Portion now are meant As well as Crown and Church But when that all is gone and spent They 'll leave thee in the lurch Thou Bawd of Treason then for all Thy cursed Fornication Thou and thy Priestly Panders shall Be Carted through the Nation The Market's made the King shall treat They say and buy his own But is not this a very Cheat. To set the price a Crown Alas the Members run by rote And shew us many a Feat Thus all the year they 'll vote unvote For Money Cloaths and Meat 'T is fit that they uphold their Trades What ere Malignants speak So they can thrive the City-Jades Their Backs and Necks may break Poor What d' lack small gains can show With many an empty Shelf The House spoils Shops 't is Aye and No That brings in all the Pelf Rebellion makes our Nation bleed With fresh Alarms we see But yet it is not well agreed Who must the Rebel be The Round-head first the Rebel was If truth be in the Laws Till Treason did for Gospel pass To bolster up the Cause The thriving Cause with high disdain In Fortunes full Career Throws Rebel in the face again Of King and Cavalier Thus Prosp'rous mischief makes it good Against all Law and Reason Not to spill Royal Loyal Blood But to be conquer'd 's Treason Five months ago our mighty States Were pleas'd to vote No King But two months since to act new Cheats Their Votes the Changes ring 'T is time the Bells of Westminster Chime Backwards and retire To quench the Flame when as we hear The Kingdom 's all on fire
A SHORT HISTORY OF THE English Rebellion Compiled in VERSE by MARCHAMONT NEDHAM And formerly extant in his Weekly MERCURIUS PRAGMATICUS LONDON Printed in the Year 166â— A SHORT HISTORY OF THE ENGLISH REBELLION WHen as we liv'd in peace GOD wot A King would not content us But we forsooth must hire the Scot To all-be-Parliament us Then down went King and Bishops too On goes the holy Wirk Betwixt them and the Brethren blew T' advance the Crown and Kirk But when that these had reign'd a time Robb'd Kirk and sold the Crown A more religious sort up climbe And crush the Jockies down But now we must have Peace again Let none with fear be vext For if without the King these raign Then heigh down they go next A Peace a Peace the Country cries Or else we shall be undone For this brave War we thank the wise Confiding Men of LONDON Sure now they may as well as we Know how to value Quiet When th' Army comes their Guests to be For a Twelvemonths Cash and Diet. Free Quarter is a tedious thing And so is the Excise None can deliver us but the King From this damn'd Dutch Device The Parliament hath serv'd seven years True vengeance then we see Upon feign'd Jealousies and Fears For yet they are not free Long Peace a Plenty did beget And Plenty brought forth Pride Through Pride to Faction Men were set In Parties to divide The new-form'd Priests first led the way And said it was no sin By force to drive the King away And draw the CITY in The Lords and Commons they consent To what each Rabbi saith And so the Catholick down went T' advance the public Faith This brought a War and Taxes on T' inslave a free-born People And now the Work is thus far gone Next have at Crown and Steeple Our wise Reformers brave and gay Have ta'ne a goodly course To fight to feast to fast and pray And milk each honest Purse The Crown 's Revenue goes to wrack While they sing Hymns and Psalms And rather than themselves will lack The King must live on Alms. We are the learned Synod says The Church of England's Nurse Who make them bless the Sabbath-days And all the week to curse The Plough stands still and Trade is small For Goods Lands Towns and Cities Nay I dare say the Devil and all Pays Tribute to Committees A Scot and Jesuit joyn'd in hand First taught the World to say That Subjects ought to have command And Princes to obey These both agreed to have no King The Scotchman he cries further No Bishop 't is a godly thing States to reform by Murther Then th' Independent meek and sly Most lowly lies at lurch And so to put poor Jocky by Resolves to have no Church The King dethron'd the Subjects bleed The Church hath no abode Let us conclude they 're all agreed That sure there is no GOD. Our States men though no Lunaticks No Wizards nor Buffons Have shewn a hundred Changeling-Tricks In less than three New Moons The Devils foot is cleft men speak And so GOD knows are they The Factions rule by fits then take Their turnes and run away They vote vnvote and vote with noise What they cry'd down before As ready as if LONDON-Boys Were knocking at the dore To day an Independ out-side And then a Scotch to morrow Thus shuffle and cut they do divide Our Wealth whilst we know sorrow O happy Treason See how Wealth Is made their Heaven They swell With Pride and live by Blood and Stealth As if there were no Hell No Saduces but must confess Those Monsters which are told In Story are risen now no less Prodigious then of old Both Cain and Judas back are come In Vizards most divine GOD bless us from a Pulpit-Drum And a Preaching Catiline They feed upon a Kingdoms Curse And prey upon a King The Dev'l provide a second Course And then a Voyder bring Now CHARLES thy Conquest is compleat And all the World shall see That GOD which guides the Royal Scot Will thy Avenger be O House of Commons House of Lords Amend before September For 't is decreed your Souldiers Swords Shall then you All-dismember But like fair Chapmen 't was well done To give you time and day To cast accompts for one by one They will you soundly pay The Kingdom all in pieces torn Your time is fairly spent To make your selves a very scorn Your King but Jack-a-Lent Now now we see 't was for the Crown The Houses both did fight For since the Cavaliers are down They put the King to flight The Adjutators stern and proud Said He should have no Quarter Because he is a King and vow'd To make the Saint a Martyr Their Officers cry'd Hail O King The rest made mocks and scorns The Houses Vinegar did bring And all did plat the Thorns Thus crucifi'd Great CHARLES did live As dead is gone away For Resurrection GOD will give A new cor'nation day Rouze up King Charles hath mist the snare Laid for his Royal Feet Let th' Adjutators now take care Each for his Winding-sheet The Army rendezvouzed are And do they know not what The Scots and they are like to jar Let us thank GOD for that The Houses know not what to think The Citt's horn-madded be They must be whipt until they stink A joyful sight to see Thus Cavaliers cast up your Caps And tell the Rebels plain That Charles in spight of all their traps Shall shortly rule again For Liberty and Privilege Religion and the King We fought But O! the Golden Wedge That is the only Thing There lies the Cream of all the Cause Religion is but Whig Pure Privilege eats up the Laws And cries For Kings a Fig. The Houses may a Christmas keep The Countrymen a Lent The Citizens like silly sheep Must fast and be content Then where is Liberty I pray With Justice Truth and Right Sure they and Conscience fled away With Charles to th' Isle of Wight Gape gape for Peace poor Countrymen The Members mean to treat And we shall see fair play agen When they no more can cheat The King shall come to Westminster It may be to his Grave Or of a glorious Prince must there Be made a Royal-Slave But 't were more wise to let him reign Out of his Peoples sight For fear he should bring Peace again And put them in a fright Sure Martin lay in of a Clap And Say himself did dote The Devil too wore a sick Cap When th' Houses past this Vote Come let us live and laugh away The follies of this Age Treason breeds care we 'll sing and play Like birds within a cage Fetters are th' only favors now The Houses give we see And since the King them wears I vow 'T were baseness to be free Then let us all our sorrows drown In Sack and merry Glee Ye Citizens of London-Town What jolly Slaves are we For Common-prayer ye have Excise Free-quarter too is comming To pay
you for your Mutinies Feasts Covenants and Drumming No Puritan no Popish Priest Nor Prot'stant now shall be Nor Law but to live as we list 'T is Heaven thus to be free Could Babylons great King now sit In Counsel with our Nation He were the only Man to fit Us with a Reformation The glorious Golden-Idol then Might shine in each Dominion Both Factions and their Brethren Would soon be one-opinion Away thou Pagan-Cavalier This God must not be thine But for the Saints at Westminster Whose souls are more divine Live drink and laugh our Worthies may And kindly take their fills The Subjects must their reckonings pay The King must pass their Bills No Princes now but they the Crown Is vanisht with our Quiet Nor will they let us use our own Devotions and Diet. All Plums the Prophets Sons desie And Spice-broths are too hot Treason's in a December-Pye And Death within the Pot. Christmas farewel thy day I fear And merry-days are done So they may keep Feasts all the year Our Saviour shall have none O happy Nation heretofore When Seas our Walls have been Unhappy now we see no shore But are all Sea within Factions like Billows rage and toss And Death mounts ev'ry Wave Yet in this Storm we are so cross We will no Pilot have Just such a Tempest seiz'd upon Blest Paul the Scripture says When he had seen no Sun nor Moon Nor Stars for many days Our Sun and Moon no beams create Our Stars disperst we see Such as was his will be our Fate We must all shipwrackt be A glorious Prince this Parliament The King should be did swear But now we understand they meant In Heaven and not here Let them invade the Throne and part His Crown and vote his Fate Yet know in each true Noble Heart He keeps his Chair of State Princes may be like other Men Imprisoned and kept under A while as fire in clouds but then At length appear in Thunder And as in hidden Caves the wind Sad tremblings doth create So Monarchs by their own confin'd Cause Earthquakes in the State Farewel the Glory of our Land For now the Free-born Blades Our Lives and our Estates command And ride us all like Jades Faith and Religion bleeding lie And Liberty grows faint No Gospel but pure Treachery And Treason make the Saint Oh! 't is a heavenly Cause I trow Which first baptiz'd the Round-head In Noble Strafford's Blood but now Must on the Kings be founded Yet know that Kings are Gods on Earth And those which pull them down Shall find it is no less than Death To tamper with a Crown 'T is true as Harry Martin said The Scots away must pack The Cov'nant shall aside be laid Like an Old Almanac Come then and buy my New true New New Almanac most true Such Accidents of State to shew The like no Age ere knew Since that we lost our King and Laws Since Jealousies and Fears Since Peace pure Truth and this Foul Cause It is full seven years Poor CHARLES pursu'd in Forty one Vnking'd in Forty seven The Eighth will place him on his Throne In Earth or else in Heaven Three Kingdoms brought to a fine pass Whilst that our Saviours Rule The Country is become an Ass The City but a Mule Each Vniversity now pines The Church may hang and rot They banish all our true Divines The Lawyers too must trot Come Sirs more Sacks unto the Mill More Taxes more Free-quarter 'T is fit our Laws be your bare Will And the Excise our Charter God speed the Plough plague Rooks and Crows And send us years more cheap For I am sure whoever sows The Houses mean to reap Money the Soul of Man and Wit But yet no Saint of mine While th' Houses vote and Synod sit Thou ne're shalt want a Shrine Reforming is a dull Device Dreads nought but strife and rage Thou putt'st us into Paradice And bring'st the Golden Age. Thou art Religion God and all That we may call Divine Thy Temple is Westminster-Hall And all our Priests are thine Tush tell not us the way to Heav'n Thou juggling Clergy-Elf That sett'st the World at six and seven's Money is Heav'n it self Betwixt those Atheists feign'd of old And ours there is no odds For both this one opinion hold That Fear did first make Gods Hell now is thought an idle Dream To fright Men from their Crimes Religion but a crafty Theam Made to Bug-bear the Times The Bible and great Babels Whore May both together burn For the Religious Fit is o're Now they have serv'd their turn Only one Text may scape their hands Since they have ta'en such pains To lay their Lords in Iron Bands And bind their Kings in Chains Copernicus thy learned skill We praise since we have found The truth for now doth Hea'vn stand still Whilst that the Earth runs round See how the Wheel of Providence Back Old Confusion brings Cashires us once of a Prince To plague's with Petty Kings They say the Saints all rule must take And others must have none Their Privilege it is to make A Foot-stool of the Throne The Laws o' th Land say Charles must reign And Conscience pleads his Cause But Conscience is a thing most vain Their Gospel eats up Laws Never such Rebels have been seen As since we led this Dance So we may feast let Prince and Queen Beg a-la-mode-de-France Let Conscience pine and cry 't is strange Wee 'll say 't is bravely done To make the King take in Exchange A Dungeon for a Throne Away with Justice Laws and Fear When Men resolve to rise Brave Souls must scorn all Scruples where A Kingdom is the Prize Then let us what our Labours gain Enjoy and bless our Chance Like Kings let 's domineer and reign Thus a-la-mode-de-France King and no King was once a Play Or Fable on the Stage But see it is become this day The Moral of our Age. Newcastle was the first best Scene Then Holmby Hampton-Court Next from a Palace to a Den Translated to make sport Each State-Buffoon a part did take Some plaid the Fool some Knave But still the Plot was laid to make Their King a Royal Slave Brave Actors we admire your skill Your Play none understands Yet make an Exit when you will We all shall clap our hands At Westminster two wond'rous Beasts This day are to be seen Call'd Liberty and Privilege GOD save the King and Queen Say Monsters strange what kin are ye To Tygers or the Lion For shame boast not your Pedigree From the sweet Sons of Zion This Libertie first whelpt the Cause The Cause then lay at lurch To gull the City damn the Laws And quite cashire the Church But Privilege O monstrous Thing Eats up poor Cavaliers Feeds on the Gentry and the King But next have at the Peers Once more the Kingdom lies at Stake No matter then who wins Two Schismaticks the Wagers make And now the Game begins The Scots and Sects two Godly Cheats
Weapons they disdain As fit for none but Fools Thus Royal CHARLES lets to Lease Lays Sword and Scepter down To shew he values Vs and Peace Above a glorious Crown Give me the Dragons Gall for Ink His sting to be my Pen To blast the Scot and make him stink Worse than the Dregs of men See now the Reformation-Wirk For which they made us bleed Is to cashire King Church and Kirk On this and that side Tweed Let them with Egypts plagues be crost Yet still find new and worse And since I have Jobs patience lost Give me his skill to curse At Home and Hell may they e're dwell And for quick passage thither As they have juggled all full well So may they hang together Let me be Turk or any thing But a Scotch Calvinist First he damn'd Bishops next his King Now he cashires his Christ Gude faith Sir they the Pulpit bang But let their Gospel down For the old Saviour needs must gang Now a new one's come to town The Saints whom once their mouths did curse Dear Brethren are and Friends Which proves their Zeal a Stalking-Horse For Knavish-godly ends Then rail no more at Antichrist But learn ye to be civil And since ye have King Cromwel kist Shake hands too with the Devil Since they have damn'd all Saints of old No new shall be for me Like Jews they worship Gods of Gold Their King they crucifie Were he the King of Kings his Crown Could not be safe from Foes Like Jesuites they no Gospel own But Murther and Depose Like Turks their Heav'n lies all in Sense In Wenches Tarts and Gelly No Hell they fear when parted hence They serve no God but Belly All this and more by Jove is true If they the Treaty cease To juggle with the Lev'lling Crew That cry No King No Peace No Lord no Knight no Gentleman For Honours now are Crimes The Saints will form us if they can All to the Prim'tive times Brave days when Adam was a King Without Crown Lands or Riches So stript of Royal Robes they 'll bring Great CHARLES to Fig-leave Breeches Princes with Plowmen rank shall pass Ladies like the first Woman Must spin or else be turn'd to Grass Now all things are in common Thus Cov'nanting and Levelling Three Kingdoms have o'rethrown And made all fellows with their King A Foot-ball of the Crown Tell me thou Presbyterian Ass Why thou at first didst jar Thy peevish Plea No Bishops was The first ground of the War Next to thy shame thou didst combine With the Sectarian Routs Our CHARLES should be no King of thine Or but a King of Clouts Both King and Bishops thus exil'd The Saints not yet content Now with fresh flames of Zeal grow wild And cry No Parliament Well may we then this Maxime prove Treason no end can know But levels at the Gods above As well as those below Hark how for Peace the Kingdom groans That warr'd they knew not why Yeild then or else the very Stones Will out against you cry For shame ye Bastard-saints give oe'r Or else the world will think Your Mother is great Babels Whore If blood you love to drink The State 's grown fat with Orphans Tears Whilst Widows pine and moan And tender Conscience in sev'n years Is turn'd t' a heart of Stone Return hard hearts the Treaty ends Our breasts with hope do swell Your Bags are full then let 's be friends Or bid the World farewel No Gods above nor Gods below Our Saints I see will own Allegiance is Rebellion now Treason to wear a Crown Nor King nor Parliament will please 'T is Gospel to rebel Nay they 'll Remonstrate against Peace Be it in Heav'n or Hell Pluto beware to thee they come When here their work is done For they 'll break loose and beat up Drum And storm thee in thy Throne Then John-a Leyden Nol and all Their goblin ghostly Train Brave Rebel Saints triumphant shall Begin their second Reign Brave Reformation now I see London's a blessed place To find the Saints chearful and free And nurse the Babe of Grace Let yellow boys ne're tempt their sight Of Valour with the sourcis For the tame Slaves will never fight Till they have empty Purses Come then ye lowsie wanton Wags Of sainted Chivalry And free their poor condemned Bags That groan for Liberty March on boon Blades here 's store of Cash Their King they will not pity Then spur them on and soundly lash These Dull-men of the City Dull Cuckolds we are dainty Slaves And well may be content When Thirty Fools and Twenty Knaves Make up a Parliament They banish all men in their Wits Vote King Lords all Offenders And authorize the phrentic Fits Of our long-sword State-menders 'T is Nol's own Brew-house now I swear The Speaker's but his Skinker Their Members are like th' Council of War Car-men Pedlers and Tinkers Fine Journey Junto prety Knack None such in all past Ages Shut shop for now the godly Pack Will next pay you your Wages Gone are those Golden Days of yore When Christmas was an High-day Whose sports we now shall see no more 'T is turn'd into Good-Friday Now when the King of Kings was born And did salvation bring They strive to crucifie in scorn His Vice-Roy and their King Since th' ancient Feast they have put down No new one will suffice But the choice Dainties of a Crown Princes in Sacrifice No Powers are safe Treason 's a Tilt And the mad Sainted-Elves Boast when the Royal Blood is spilt They 'll all be Kings themselves Like jolly Slaves ye goodly Knaves We 'll bid th' old year Adieu Old Sack and things must pass away And so shall all your new Now for a No-King or a New For th' old they say shall pack The New may serve a year to view Like an old Almanack New Houses new for th' old ones dote And have been thrice made Plunder The Saints do vote and act by rote And are a Nine-days-wonder Then let us chear this merry New-year For CHARLES shall wear the Crown 'T is a damn'd Cause that damns the Laws And turns all up-side down FINIS