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ID Title Author Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication) STC Words Pages
A96479 The grateful non-conformist; or A return of thanks to Sir John Baber Knight, and Doctor of Physick who sent the author ten crowns Wild, Robert, 1609-1679. 1665 (1665) Wing W2127; ESTC R220400 1,867 1

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The Grateful Non-Conformist OR A RETURN of THANKS To Sir JOHN BABER Knight and Doctor of Physick who sent the AUTHOR Ten Crowns TEn Crowns at once and to one man and he As despicable as bad Poets be Who scarce had wit if you requir'd the same To make an Anagram upon your name Or to out-run a Badger or prepare An Epitaph to serve a Quinb'rough-May'r A limping-Levite who scarce in his prime Could woo an Abigail or say Grace in Rime Ten Crowns to such a thing Friend 't is a Dose Able to raise dead Ben or Dav'nant's Nose Able to make a Courtier turn a Friend And more then all of them in Victuals spend This free Free-Parli'ment whose Gifts do sound Full five and twenty hundred thousand pound You have out-done them Sir yours was your own And some of It shall last when Theirs is gone Ten Crowns at once and now at such a time When love to such as I am is a Crime Greater than his recorded in Jane Shore Who gave but one poor Loaf to the starv'd Whore What now to help a Non-Conformist now When Ministers are broke that will not bow When 't is to be unblest to be ungirt To wear no Surplice does deserve no Shirt No Broth no Meat no Service no Protection No Cross no Coyn no Collect no Collection You are a daring Knight thus to be kind If trusty Roger get it in the Wind He 'll smell a Plot a Presbyterian Plot Especially for what you gave the Scot And if the Spiritual Court take fire from Crack They 'l clap a Parritor upon your Back Shall make you shrug as if you wore the Collar Of a Cashiered Red-Coat or poor Scholar What will you plead Sir if they put you to ' t Was it the Doctor or the Knight did do ' t Did you as Doctor flux some Usurer And with your Physick his dull Silver stir Or did your Zeal you a Knight-Templar make To give the Church the Booties you should take Or was it your desire to beg Applause Or shew affection to the GOOD OLD CAUSE Was 't to feed Faction or uphold the stickle Between the Old Church and New Conventicle No none of these but I have hit the thing It was because You knew I lov'd the King Ten Crowns at once Sir you 'l suspected be For no good Protestant you are so free So much at once Sure you ne'er gave before Or else I doubt mean to do so no more This is enough to make a man protest Religio Medici to be the best The Christians for whose sakes we are undone Would have cry'd out O'tis too much for one Either to give or take What needs this waste O how they love to have us keep a Fast Five private Meetings whereat each four Men In black Coats and white Caps you 'l call them then A Teem of Ministers have tugg'd all day Deserving Provender but scarce got Hay Where I my self have drawn my part some hours Have not afforded such return as yours I 'd wish them watch and keep me sober still Not want of guilt in them nor want of Will In me but want of Wine does make me lame Or else I 'd sacrifice them to the flame Of an high-blazing Satyr here 's a Man Who ne'er pretended at your Rates yet can More freely feed us with Coyn and good Dishes Than they yet that is their Alms sighs and wishes O for a Rapture how shall I describe The love of thousands to their Reading Tribe Who so maintain'd them when they lost their Places They did not lose one Pimple from their Faces But after all full fraught with Flesh and Flagon Came forth like Monks or Priests of Bell and Dragon One would have judg'd by their high looks and smells They had layn-in in Cellars not in Cells Where they grew big and batten'd for without doubt Some that went Firkins in came Hogsheads out But ours in two years time are Skin and Bones And look like Granhams or old Apple-Johns One Lazarus amongst us was too much But er 't be long we all shall look like such And when that comes to pass the World shall see Who are the Ghostly Fathers They or We And then our Bellies without better fare Will prove as empty as their Noddles are Though We be silent our Guts won't be so But make a Conventicle as they go Peace Colon peace and cease thy croaking din Thou art condemd'd to be a Chitterlin Nigardly Puritans blush at the odds Betwixt their BONNER's and our meagre DOD's You give your Drink in Thimbles they in Bowls Your Church is poor St. Faiths but theirs is POWLS And whilst you Priests and Altars do despise Your selves prove Priests and we your Sacrifice But why do I permit my Muse to whine I wish my Brethren all such Cheeks as mine And those that wish them well such Hearts as thine My Noble BABER I have chosen you For my Physician and my Champion too Give me sometimes but such a Dose and I Will ne'er wish other Cordial till I die And then proclaim you a most Valiant Knight Shew but such Metal though you never fight FINIS London Printed in the Year 1665.