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A57015 The fifth book of The works of Francis Rabelais, M.D., contaning the heroic deeds and sayings of the great Pantagruel to which is added the Pantagruelian prognostication, Rabelais's letters, and several other pieces by that author / done out of French by P.M.; Selections. 1694 Rabelais, François, ca. 1490-1553?; Rabelais, François, ca. 1490-1553? Pantagruel. English.; Rabelais, François, ca. 1490-1553? Pantagruéline prognostication. English.; Rabelais, François, ca. 1490-1553? Correspondence. English.; Motteux, Peter Anthony, 1660-1718. 1694 (1694) Wing R104A; ESTC R2564 128,470 325

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black Mite or Weevil which is born of a white Bean and sallies out at the hole which he makes gnawing it The Mite being turn'd ●nto a kind of a Fly sometimes walks and sometimes flies over Hills and Dales Now Pythagoras the Philosopher and his Sect besides many others wondering at its Birth in such a place which makes some ●rgue for equivocal Generation thought ●hat by a Metempsycosis the Body of that ●nsect was the Lodging of an Human Soul Now were you Men here after your wel●om'd Death according to his Opinion ●our Souls would most certainly enter into ●he Body of Mites or Weevils for in your present state of life you are good for no●hing in the world but to gnaw bite eat ●nd devour all things so in the next you 'll ●'en gnaw and devour your Mothers very ●ides as the Vipers do Now by Gold 〈◊〉 think I have fairly solv'd and resolv'd your Riddle May my Bawble be turn'd into a Nut-cracker quoth Friar Ihon if I could not almost find in my heart to wish that what comes out at my Bunghole were Beans that ●hese evil Weevils might feed as they deserve Panurge then without any more ado ●hrew a large Leathern Purse stuff'd with Gold Crowns Escus au Soleil among them The Furr'd Law-Cats no soone● heard the jingling of the Chink but the● all began to bestir their Claws like a par● of Fiddlers running a Division and the● fell to 't squimble squamble catch that cat● can They all said aloud These are th● Fees these are the Gloves now this 〈◊〉 somewhat like a Tanzy Oh 't was a pretty Trial a sweet Trial a dainty Tria● O' my word they did not starve the Cause these are none of your sniveling Forma P●●●peris's No they are Noble Clients Gen●tlemen every Inch of them By Gold 't is Gold quoth Panurge good old Gold I 'll assure you Saith Gripe-men-all The Court upon ● full Hearing of the Gold quoth Panurge and weighty Reasons given finds the Priso●ners Not Guilty and accordingly order 'em to be discharg'd out of Custody paying their Fees Now Gentlemen proceed go for wards said he to us we have no● so much of the Devil in us as we have 〈◊〉 his Hue tho we are Stout we are Merciful As we came out at the Wicket we we●● conducted to the Port by a Detachment of certain Highland-Griffins scribere ●●●●dashoes who advised us before we came to our Ships not to offer to leave the place till we had made the usual Presents first to the Lady Gripe-men-all then to all the Furr'd Law-Pusses otherwise we must return to the place from whence we came Well well saith Frier Ihon we 'll fumble in our Fobs examine every one of us his Concern and e'en give the Women their due we 'll ne'er boggle or stick out on that account as we tickled the Men in the Palm we 'll tickle the Women in the right place Pray Gentlemen added they don't forget to leave somewhat behind you for us poor Devils to drink your Healths O Lawd never fear answer'd Frier Ihon I don't remember that I ever went any where yet where the poor Devils are not mention'd and encourag'd CHAP. XV. How the Furr'd Law-Cats live on Corruption FRiar Ihon had hardly said those words e're he perceiv'd Seventy Eight Gallies and Frigats just arriving at the Port. So he hied him thither to learn some News and as he ask'd what Goods they had o'board he soon found that their whole Cargo was Venison Hares Capons Turkeys Pigs Swine Bacon Kids Calves Hens Ducks Teals Geese and other Poultry and Wild-fowl He also spy'd among these some pieces of Velvet Satin and Damask This made him ask the New-comers whither and to whom they were going to carry those dainty Goods They answer'd that they were for Gripe-men-all and the Furr'd Law-Cats Pray ask'd he what 's the true name of all these things in your Countrey Language Corruption they repli'd If they live on Corruption said the Friar they 'll perish with their Generation May the Devil be damn'd I have it now Their Fathers devour'd the good Gentlemen who according to their state of life us'd to go much a Hunting and Hawking to be the better inur'd to Toil in time of War For Hunting is an Image of a Martial Life and Xenophon was much in the right on 't when he affirm'd that Hunting had yielded a great number of excellent Warriors as well as the Trojan Horse For my part I am no Scholar I have it but by hear-say yet I believe it Now the Souls of those brave Fellows according to Gripe-men-all's Riddle after their decease enter into Wild-boars Stags Roe-bucks Herns and such other Creatures which they lov'd and in quest of which they went while they were men and these Furr'd Law-Cats having first destroy'd and devour'd their Castles Lands Demesnes Possessions Rents and Revenues are still seeking to have their Blood and Soul in another Life What an honest Fellow was that same Mumper who had forewarn'd us of all these things and bid us take notice of the Mangers above the Racks But said Panurge to the New-comer how do you come by all this Venison methinks the Great King has issued out a Proclamation strictly inhibiting the destroying of Stags Does Wild-boars Roe-bucks or other Royal Game on pain of Death All this is true enough answer'd one for the rest But the Great King is so good and gracious you must know and these Furr'd Law-Cats so curst and cruel so mad and thirsting after Christian Blood that we have less cause to fear in trespassing against that Mighty Sovereign's Commands than reason to hope to live if we do not continually stop the mouths of these Furr'd Law-Cats with such Bribes and Corruption Besides added he tomorrow Gripe-men-all marries a Furr'd Law-Puss of his to a high and mighty Doublefurr'd Law-Tibert Formerly we us'd to call them Chop-hay but alas they are not such neat Creatures now as to eat any or Chew the Cud. We call them Chop-Hares Chop-Partridges Chop-Woodcoks Chop-Pheasants Chop-pullets Chop-Venison Chop Connies Chop-Pigs for they scorn to feed o● courser Meat A T d for their Chops cry'd Frier Ihon next year we 'll have 'em call'd Chop-Dung Chop-Stront Chop-Filth Would you take my Advice added h● to the Company What is it answer'd we Let 's do two things return'd he First Let 's secure all this Venison and Wild-fowl I mean paying well for them for my part I am but too much tir'd already with our Salt-meat it heats my Flan● so horribly In the next place let 's go bad to the Wicket and destroy all these devili●● Furr'd Law-Cats For my part quot● Panurge I know better things catch m● there and hang me No I am somewha● more inclin'd to be fearful than bold ● love to sleep in a whole skin CHAP. XVI How Friar Ihon talks of rooting o● the Furr'd Law-Cats VErtue of the Frock quoth Friar Iho● what kind of a Voyage are we m●●
call'd the Males Clerghawks Monkhawks Priesthawks Abbothawks Bishhawks Cardinhawks and one Popehawk who is a Species by himself He call'd the Females Clergkites Nunkites Priestkites Abbesskites Bishkites Cardinkites and Popekites However said he as Hornets and Drones will get among the Bees and there do nothing but buzz eat and spoil every thing so for these last Three hundred Years a vast Swarm of Bigottello's flockt I don 't know how among these goodly Birds every fifth full Moon and have bemuted beray'd and conskited the whole Island They are so hard-favour'd and monstrous that none can abide ' em For their wry Necks make a figure like a crooked Billet their Paws are hairy like those of rough-footed Pigeons their Claws and Pounces belly and breech like those of the Stymphalid Harpies Nor is it possible to root them out for if you get rid of one strait four and twenty new ones fly thither There had been need of another Monster-hunter such as was Hercules for Fryar Jhon had like to have run distracted about it so much he was nettled and puzzled in the matter As for the good Pantagruel he was e'en serv'd as was Messer Priapus contemplating the Sacrifices of Ceres for want of Skin CHAP. III. How there is but one Popehawk in the Ringing Island WE then ask'd Master Aedituus why there was but one Popehawk among such numbers of venerable Birds multiply'd in all their Species He answer'd that such was the first Institution and fatal destiny of the Stars That the Clerghawks begot the Priesthawks and Monkhaws without carnal Copulation as some Bees are born of a young Bull. The Priesthawks beget the Bishhawks the Bishhawks the stately Cardinhawks and the stately Cardinhawks if they live long enough at last come to be Popehawk Of this last kind there never is more than one at a time as in a Beehive there is but one King and in the World is but one Sun When the Popehawk dies another arises in his stead out of the whole Brood of Cardinhawks that is as you must understand it all along without carnal Copulation So that there is in that Species an individual Unity with a perpetuity of Succession neither more nor less than in the Arabian Phoenix 'T is true that about Two thousand seven hundred and sixty Moons ago two Popehawks were seen upon the Face of the Earth but then you never saw in your lives such a woful Rout and Hurly-burly as was all over this Island For all these same Birds did so peck clapperclaw and maul one another all that time that there was the Devil and all to do and the Island was in a fair way of being left without Inhabitants Some stood up for this Popehawk some for t'other Some struck with a dumness were as mute as so many Fishes the Devil a Note was to be got out of them Part of the merry Bells here were as silent as if they had lost their Tongues I mean their Clappers During these troublesome Times they call'd to their Assistance the Emperours Kings Dukes Earls Barons and Commonwealths of the World that live on t'other side the water nor was this Schism and Sedition at an end till one of them died and the Plurality was reduc'd to Unity We then ask'd what mov'd those Birds to be thus continually chanting and singing he answer'd that it was the Bells that hang'd on the Tops of their Cages Then he said to us Will you have me make these Monkhawks whom you see bardocucullated with a Bag such as you use to still Brandy sing like any Wood-Larks Pray do said we He then gave half a dozen pulls to a little Rope which caus'd a diminitive Bell to give so many Ting-tings and presently a parcel of Monkhawks ran to him as if the Devil had drove'em and fell a singing like mad Pray Master cry'd Panurge if I also rang this Bell could I make those other Birds yonder with red-herring-colour'd Feathers sing Ay marry would you return'd Aedituus With this Panurge hang'd himself by the hands I mean at the Bell-Rope's end and no sooner made it speak but those smoak'd Birds hy'd them thither and began to lift up their voices and make a sort of an untowardly hoarse noise which I grudge to call singing Aedituus indeed told us that they fed on nothing but Fish like the Herns and Cormorants of the World and that they were a fifth kind of Cucullati newly stamp'd He added that he had been told by Robert Valbringue who lately pass'd that way in his Return from Africa that a sixth kind was to fly hither out of hand which he call'd Capushawks more grum vinegar-fac'd brainsick froward and loathsome than any kind whatsoever in the whole Island Africa said Pantagruel still uses to produce some new and monstrous Thing CHAP. IV. How the Birds of the Ringing Island were all Passengers SInce you have told us said Pantagruel how the Popehawk is begot by the Cardinhawks the Cardinhawks by the Bishhawks and the Bishhawks by the Priesthawks and the Priesthawks by the Clerghawks I would gladly know whence you have these same Clerghawks They are all of them Passengers return'd Aedituus and come hither from t'other world part out of a vast Countrey call'd Want-o-bread the rest out of another toward the West which they stile Too-many-of-'em From these two Countries flock hither every year whole Legions of these Clerghawks leaving their Fathers Mothers Friends and Relations This happens when there are too many Children whether Male or Female in some good Family of the latter Countrey insomuch that the House would come to nothing if the Paternal Estate were shar'd among them all as Reason requires Nature directs and God commands For this cause Parents use to rid themselves of that Inconveniency by packing off the Younger Fry and forcing them to seek their Fortune in this Isle Bossart Crooked Island I suppose he means I' Isle Bouchart near Chinon cry'd Panurge No reply'd t'other I mean Bossart Crooked for there is not one in ten among them but is either crooked crippled blinking limping ill-favour'd deform'd or an unprofitable load to the earth 'T was quite otherwise among the Heathens said Pantagruel when they us'd to receive a Maiden among the number of Vestals for Leo Antistius affirms that it was absolutely forbidden to admit a Virgin into that Order if she had any Vice in her Soul or Defect in her Body tho it were but the smallest Spot on any part of it I can hardly believe continued Edituus that their Dams on t'other side the water go Nine Months with them for they cannot endure them Nine Years nay scarce Seven sometimes in the House But by putting only a Shirt over the other Cloaths of the Young Urchins and lopping off I don't well know how many Hairs from their Crowns mumbling certain apostrophis'd and expiatory words they visibly openly and plainly by a Pythagorical Metempsychosis without the least hurt transmogrify them into such Birds as you now see much
and John de Gravot in his Gallick Mythologies have set down Which is daily observable throughout all France where the first questions which you shall put to People newly arriv'd are what News Is there no News stirring What do they say What 's the Discourse abroad And so inquisitive they are that they 'll be stark staring mad at those who come out of strange Countries unless they bring a whole budgetful of strange Stories calling them Dolts Blockheads Ninnyhammers and silly Oufs Since then they are so ready to ask after News and consequently the more glibly swallow down every flim flam Story that 's told them Were it not expedient that some People on whose Faith we might depend should hold Offices of Intelligence on the Frontiers of the Kingdom and have a competent Salary allow'd them for nothing else but to examine the News that is brought whether it true or no Yea verily Friends Even so did my good Master Pantagruel through all the Countries of Utopia and Dipsody whence it comes that his Territories are so prosperous that at present they can't tell how to make away with their Wine fast enough but are fain'd to let it run about in waste if plenty of good Fellows from other Parts do not come to help them off with it Being therefore desirous to satisfy the curiosity of every good Companion I have tumbled over and over all the Pantarchs of the Heavens calculated the Quadrates of the Moon hook'd out whatever all the Astrophiles Hypernephelists Anemophylaxes Uranopetes Ombrophores and the Devil and all of them have thought and then having confer'd with Empedocles upon the whole who by the way desires to be kindly remembred to you I have 〈◊〉 here cramm'd the Pith Marrow and Matter of the Substance of it into a few Chapters Assuring you that I say nothing of it but what I think and that I think nothing of it but what it is and there is no more to be known in those Matters than what you are going to read As for any thing that may hereafter be said over and above it will come to pass per ' anture ay per ' anture no. Take notice by the by That if you don't believe every Syllable Jota and Tittle of it you do me a great deal of wrong for which either here or elsewhere you may chance to be claw'd off with a vengeance and a good Salt-eal Crab-tree or Bull 's pizzle may be plentifully bestow'd on your outward Man You may take Pepper in the Nose and snuff and suck up the Air as you would Oysters as much as you please 't is all one for that Well however come snite your Noses my little Children and you old doating Father-Grey-Beards pull out your best Eyes d'on your Bar●icles and in the Scale of the Sanctuary weigh me every tittle of what I 'm going to tell you Of the Golden Number THE Golden Number non est inventus I cannot find it this Year by any Calculation that I have made Let 's go on Verte folium turn over leaf CHAP. I. Of the Governor and Lords Ascendant this Year WHatsoever these Blindfolded Block-headly Fools the Astrologers of Lovain Norimberg Tubinge and Lyons may tell ye don't you feed your selves up with Whims and Fancies nor believe there is any Governor of the whole Universe this Year but God the Creator who by his Divine Word rules and governs all by whom all things are in their Nature Propriety and Conditions and without whose Preservation and Governance all things in a moment would be reduc'd to nothing as out of nothing they were by him created For of Him comes in Him is and by Him is made perfect every Being and all Life and Motion as says the Evangelical Trumpet my Lord St. Paul Rom. the 11th Therefore the Ruler of this Year and of all others according to our Authentick Solution will be God Almighty And neither Saturn nor Mars nor Jupiter nor any other Planet nor the very Angels nor Saints nor Men nor Devils shall have any Virtue Efficacy or Influence whatsoever unless God of his good Pleasure gives it them As Avicen says Second Causes have not any Influence or Action whatsoever if the first Cause did not Influence them Does not the good little Mannikin speak truth think ye CHAP. II. Of the Eclipses this Year THis Year there will be so many Eclipses of the Sun and Moon that I fear not unjustly our Pockets will suffer Inanition be full empty and our feeling at a loss Saturn will be retrograde Venus right Mercury as unfixt as Quicksilver And a pack of Planets w'on't go as you would have them For this reason the Crabs will go sidelong and the Rope-makers backward the little Stools will get up on the Benches and the Spits on the Racks and the Bands on the Hats and many a ones Yard will hang down and dangle for want of Leathern Pouches Fleas will be generally black Bacon will run away from Pease in Lent the Belly will waddle before the A will sit down first there won't be a Bean left in a Twelf-cake nor an Ace in a Flush the Dice won't run to your wish tho you cog them and the chance that you desire will seldom come Brutes shall speak in several places Shrovetide will have its day one part of the World shall disguise it self to gull and chouse the other and run about the Streets like a parcel of addle-pated Animals and mad Devils such a hurly-burly was never seen since the Devil was a little Boy and there will be above Seven and Twenty irregular Verbs made this Year if Priscian don't hold them in If God don't help us we shall have our hands and hearts full But on the other side if he be with us nothing can hurt us as says the Coelestial Stargazer who was rapt into the Third Heaven Romans the 7th Si Deus pro nobis quis contra nos If God be with us who will be against us In good Faith Nemo domine No body an 't like your worship for he is as powerful as he is good Here for the same praise ye his Holy Name CHAP. III. Of the Diseases this Year THis Year the Stone-blind shall see but very little the Deaf shall hear but scurvily the Dumb shan't speak very plain the Rich shall be somewhat in a better case than the Poor and the Healthy than the Sick Whole Flocks Herds and Droves of Sheep Swine and Oxen Cocks and Hens Ducks and Drakes Geese and Ganders shall go to pot but the Mortality will not be altogether so great among Apes Monkies Baboons and Dromedaries As for Old Age 't will be incurable this Year because of the years past Those who are Sick of the Plurisy will feel a plaguy Stich in their Sides those who are troubled with the Thoro'-go-nimble or Wild-squirt will often prostitute their Blind cheeks to the Bog-house Catarrhs this year shall distil from the Brain on the lower Parts sore Eyes will by