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A84694 The times anatomiz'd, in severall characters. By T.F. Ford, Thomas, 1598-1674. 1647 (1647) Wing F1518; Thomason E1203_3; ESTC R208774 18,397 119

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aside their faces they that cry fastest for Truth when it comes to them runs fastest from it XI A Self-Seeker IS a cunning Archer that looking to the publique service as the marke he onely aymes at yet squints aside at his own ends which is the true Butt all the arrows of his endeavours are shot at No man pretends more for the publique good then he and yet no man can intend it lesse and well may he in shew advance that which indeed advanceth him This is a dangerous crime in men of publique trust for such leaks make the vessels of the Common-wealth to sinke Like that notorious Pick-pocket that whilst according to the custome every one held up their hands at rehersing the Creed he by a divice had a false hand which hee held up like the rest whilst his true hand was false in other mens pockets Or as a cunning Physitian that instead of lightning the disease lightens the purse of his patient protracting the cure to prolong his gains A deceitfull Souldier who under colour of the publique fights onely for his private cause XII Pamphlets ARE the Weekly Almanacks shewing what weather is in the State which like the Doves of Aleppo carry news to every part of the Kingdom They are the silent Traytors that affront Majesty and abuse all Authority under the colour of an Imprimatur Ubiquitary flyes that have of late so blistred the eares of all men that they cannot endure any solid truth The Ecchoes whereby what is done in part of the Kingdome is heard all over They are like Mushromes sprung up in a night and dead in a day and such is the greedinesse of mens natures in these Athenian dayes of news that they will rather feigne then want it XIII An envious Man IS one that can endure no man to be happy with or besides himselfe Nay he had rather see himselfe in misery then his neighbour in prosperity He had rather goe to hell alone then to heaven with company yet is he the greatest foe to himselfe for whilst he wishes harme to others it rebounds to himselfe and good men like Cammomile grow the better for envies treading it is but as a black ground to set off the luster of their merits not seldome whilst envy seeks to wound it cures bringing an Antidote instead of a poyson Like the Mirrour of glasse that reverberated the poyson of the serpent upon her selfe killing her with her own weapon Goodnesse appears with greater lustre through the black cloud of envy The envious man feasts like flies on others soares anothers Comedy in his Tragoedy He is never merry but at others sadnesse and their cryes makes the only harmony in his eares XIV True Valour IS a virtue in the spirit which keepes the flesh in subjection for whilst it overthrows its enemies it conquers it selfe which is the best victory It resolves without fear and acts without fainting not daunted with multitudes of oppositiōs knowing that the greater the cōflict is the greater wil be the honor of the conqueror It is a sweet temper of the soul not cast down in captivity nor elated in victory wisdome is her guide and resolution her companion A good cause makes her truly noble and pittie it is it should have any enemy but errour XV Time TIme is the universall Standard whereby we measure Houres Dayes Weeks Moneths Years and Ages A Rivulet of Time which proceeded from and shall end in the Ocean of Eternity compared by that great Statesman and Philosopher of our Kingdom to the nature of a River which carryeth down to us that which is light and blown up and sinketh and drowneth that which is solid and weighty It is the devourer of all things the great Monarch that casteth down some and raiseth others with a kinde of omnipotencie and unresistable power for there is not any thing in the power of man can scotch the ever-circling wheele of Time 'T is neither force nor flattery can stop his full career It is he that opens the windows of heaven to let in day and drawes the curtaines of the night to secure the sleepe of wearied labor And so swift is his flight that we cannot discover it till past He is alwayes the same and yet not the same since I said so The onely subject of honest and lawfull avarice But whilst I speake of Time I lose it considering that though hee is known to be yet is his being unknown for his name is better known then his nature XVI A Newter IS a very blank wherein you may write any thing that will make for his profit Hee is a meer Bat all the time of War resolving to lye hid till time and fortune have decided the quarrell and then hee 'l be sure to have a Bird for the Conquerour Fortune is his god Machiavel his Priest Time-serving his Religion and his only Counsellours are Corrantoes for by those hee guesses which way the winde of Fortune blows and accordingly with the Hedghog hee turns his Den Hee is only a spectator of this bloudy Tragoedy and will be sure to reserve his Plaudite till the last Act. What he shall be he knows not nor what hee is yet I hold him an Independent for whilst hee sides with all hee 'l be sure to none Like a pair of Compasses the one end of his owne ends stands fast while with the other of his speeches he walks the round of every prevailing faction He is a meer Polypus always of the same colour of the side he meets with for hee varies his shapes as often as his company like an Adjective that varies case and gender with his Substantive Hee uses Moderation as a fair masque over his foul-face of Newtrality but when hee comes to be unmasqued hee becomes then as ridiculous to all as before he was odious His discourse is the very Almanack of the Times for his judgment is as variable as Victory Hee is of a very unfit temper to make a Zelot of being neither hot nor cold but Lukewarme which is detestable to both Wee may well term him a Waveringman for like the waves he is moved with the winde of successe Hee would make a very good Musician for hee studies nothing so much as to keepe Time keeping close to the wheel of Fortune which is somtimes broken on by short turnings Striving so long to bend to all till hee break himself And so playing the Ambo-dexter that hee becomes at length Ambo-sinister But I cease to know further what he is who knows not what hee is in himself XVII A Turn-coat IS one that will be sure to be of the strongest side and all his policy is when the contrary party prevails to tack about and with a side-winde to saile with them For hee is always of the Religion of the Conquerour if the more zealous party get up then none more zealous then he if the lesse severe then none lesse religious Setting his carriage to the tune of the times
the cryes of oppressed people the effect and the roaring of Cannons and clashing of Armes the sadder causes Wars griping hand squeezeth and scattereth what good husbandry had raked together in time of peace Time of War is the true Iron Age for it converts all into iron which iron will be master of all mens gold Warre never comes but attended with a train of devouring followers Destruction and that usually goe hand in hand this Generall Warre hath so universall a command that no particular man can have any command of his now But of all Wars none so uncivill as civill War other wars kill foes but this friends in this one member rises up against another If a Kingdom divided from others cannot stand a Kingdom divided against it self must needs fall But the uglinesse of War will appeare better or rather worse by viewing the beauty of Peace XXII Of Peace PEace is the ligament or seament that knits and unites the severall members of one Kingdom into one body Shee is the mother of plenty and prosperity The nurse and cherisher of Arts and Sciences and what 's worth all the best means for propagating the Gospel for the spirituall fishers never caught the more for fishing in troubled waters for such fish as mariners say of the litterall fish if they see bloud on the net they will not be caught by any bayes No this Gospel is the Gospel of Peace and of the God of Peace and his children the lovers of Peace Peace makes those calme dayes wherein the Halcyon of honour seats her nest It is the onely cordiall to revive a fainting Kingdom languishing of the deadly wounds of the keen sword of inraged warre This one word Peace as one well observes is but a monosylable yet is it big with a world of happinesse Yet many Athenians there be who never went to conclude a peace but in mourning garments But I feare to speake farther of it lest I meet with the Florentine Law which made it death for any one to name Peace I suppose the miseries of this cruell Warre may bee as so many mouthes to cry and call for Peace and therefore I will hold my peace XXIII A Drunkard IS a meere beast in the shape of a man A living pipe or conduite through which the liquour passeth A great assertor of Copernicus his opinion for he holds that all things go ronnd He might make a resolute Souldier but that he staggers so often Drukennesse is used in High Germany for the Index or Touch-stone of a mans nature for the parents will see men drunk before they marry their daughters unto them because they will know what kinde of drunkennesse they are subject to and according to the good or ill if a Drunkard can have good qualities they judge him convenient or not for their marriages And indeed there is no passion that a Drunkard is subject to but Wine will make him turn traytor to himselfe and discover It is not for nothing that the word in the Originall signifies Naked drunkennesse breakes the veile of secrecie and renders a man naked to his very enemies when he is like Gryllus in Plutarch who was so transformed by one of Circes charmes that he could not by all Ulisses eloquence be induced to depose his hoggish nature and resume the person of a man He is not then his own Master or his own man whose senses are fettered with Drunkennesse and yet how he boasts in making himselfe a hogshead striving to take off his liquour till he be taken of it and become its captive and instead of quenching his thirst drownes his soule And being thus bereaved of his senses he jumps not an inch from a mad-man For as there are severall sorts of mad-men so are there also of Drunkards and every one in his severall humour some are mad some merry some raging Drunkards How many brute beasts will rise up in judgement against the Drunkards who make the sufficing of Nature their Standard in eating and drinking which they will not exceed no more then the Drunkard exceeds them in his drink For there are but two things whereby a man is differenc'd from a beast Ratio Oratio Reason and Speech and the Drunkard wants them both He wants reason like him that stuft a porrage pot with straw to make it the easier pillow He wants speech also for as the Ephramites were distinguished from the rest of the Israelites by lisping they could not pronounce the letter ● Thus Drunkards sayth one wittily are distinguished from the Kings sober subjects by clipping the coyne of the tongue But lamentable it is when hee dares to quote Scripture examples for proofe of his actions looking only at the evill of sin but not at the evill of punishmeut that follows those sins let him shew me the example of a Saint that sinn'd and had not also his affliction for it As the Comoedian who when one objected to him his bringing a deboist fellow upon the stage thereby giving an evill example to youth He answerd 't is true I brought such an one upon the Stage but I hang'd him before he went off and so I gave them a good example XXIV A novice Preacher IS a young Lapwing running from his nest of the University before maturity of time and knowledge have cast the shel of ignorance which therefore he still carries on his pate How-ever this kallow Bird weary of his Mothers tuition when indeed she might better be weary of him having hopt out of his nest must be chirping on every hedge and will be stragling abroad never minding the danger of such attempts but Who so bold as blinde Bayard saith the Proverbe Wee may say of him as of the Nitingale Vox praeterea Nil His greatest commendation is the strength of his lungs having been but a while like a cypher in the place of a figure me thinks I heare the people saying to those Novices as the wise to the foolish Virgins ye have not enough for us and your selves too go yee rather and buy for your selves for wee beare ye witnesse that hitherto out of your owne necessities ye have administred unto us And no wonder that instead of shining Lights they prove foolish fires to lead their flocks into a Maze of Errours in which they wander not having the clue of learning or judgement to guide them out They are rather smoake to put out the eyes of the seeing then like to lend eyes unto the blind They are meere wels without water and clouds without rain His Sermons are but the ecchoes of other men in which his greatest commendation is that he reads them Clerk-like For his prayers they consist most an end of naught else save a zealous taking the Lords name in vain in tedious tautologies which he is as devout in as a Papist would be in dropping his beads His Library consists of a Directory and an Ordinance for Tithes and if his estate will reach to it a Concordance XXV