drinke to them but not too mutche For if a man euery time hee drinketh shall drinke to one or other it wil bee seene as though hee did it for lacke of countenance so that to vse the salutacion of the Cup aboue twise in one meale wil bee too mutche except the whole companie fall to quaffynge For wyse men doo rather seeke to satisfy their guests with some good speches then with sutche dum sygnes This kinde of Cup greetyng ought not to bee vsed but in one of these two respects either to make our inferiour to whom wee meane not to vse speeche of familliaritie to thinke we will doo them a curtesie or els to our very freeinde by way of congratulation And therefore a man must neuer drinke to his better except hee bee sure that by way of freeindship and familliaritie hee bee content to beecome his equall and that not with a solem or sad countenance but with some smilyng grace that the rest may know it proceedeth of familliaritie and not of presumption yet with reuerent wordes and chaunge of phrase as thus My Lorde if some yonge Nobleman Sir or Madam will it please you to giue me leaue Or thus Shall I be so boulde as salute you with this Cup of Wine Or thus By your leaue syr against it next please you Or thus Will you giue mee leaue to remember sutche a one as some freeinde of his Or thus To plucke you out of your studies Or thus Sauyng your tale syr Item that aboue all thynges in a straunge place or in the presence of straungers he attend not so greedely nor so continually to his feeding but that in modest wise without either gazynge too longe in another mans face or yet hangyng his head continually on his trencher hee hath both his eye and his eare so redy that nothynge is sayde or doone at the bourde but he may perceyue it for his learning that good is to follow that ill is to eschew And when hee séeth any thynge vncomely to examine himself whether hee haue not the same grace himselfe and also to doo the like whensoeuer he heareth any man dispraysed For most men know what is comely or vncomely in another But many for lacke of due obseruation in themselues mocke or disprayse in another the same which others mock in them and the rather for their so dooynge Item that he pawfe between meate meate and neuer to carue himselfe either of meate or breade while his mouth is full nor till hee haue swallowed the last morsell Item that hee fill not his mouth so full of meate as hee cannot holde his lippes together while hee is chawyng for otherwise men shall looke into his mouthe and see the meate rowle vp and downe while hee is eatynge whiche is a fowle sight and loathesome and for that cause a man must forbeare to speake with meat in his mouthe except hee haue so litle as hee be sure to hide it in his mouthe while hee is speakynge Item while his better telleth him any tale to cease eatynge â—o the while hee heareth and while hee answereth him Item if hee hee prouoked to laughe in the presence of his betters to doo the same with as little noyse as may bee and likewise in the company of strauâ—gers for too lowd a laughter specially for slender occasions doo make wisemen counted foolish of sutch as know them not Item when a man will tell a mery tale let him tell it so as himselfe bee not the first that shall laughe at it A smilyng sound to make men know hee speaketh but in sporte is good but a fayned laughter is ill beecommynge A hartie laughter so the matter bee worth it is allowable Item hee must beeware that while another tell a tale or make iestures that his wits be not caried away so as hee gaze continually in his face and make the same countenances which he seeth the other doo for that will make a man counted doultishe Item if he be constrayned to yawne reache belche cough sneese clense the nose or spit either at the bourde or in the presence of his betters or straungers he must suppresse the sound and shadow y sight as mutche as hee may conueniently without makyng it to nice Item in caruyng himself or others hee must not embrew too many of his fingers nor his thombe nor wallow his meate vp and downe too mutche in the sauce bycause in so dooynge a man shall washe his fingers in the sauce which others will loathe specially straungers Now to conclude though a man either at home or amonge his freeindes may vse what manner hee list without obseruynge all these ceremonies yet it shal bee very good so â— what to enure himself by dayly custome â–ª otherwise hee shall in presence forgette bothe them and himself How a man shall pacifie his freeind his better or his equall if hee haue giuen him vnwillingly any cause of offence The. x. Chapter IF â—or a light cause then merely thus I am sure you take it not in earnest or thinke I meant otherwise then in the best part for if you doo you shall doo mee great wronge Or thus By my trouthe I did or sayde it to no sutch ende as you take it and therefore I pray you thincke of it as I meant it Or thus If I had thought it coulde haue bin so mutch mistaken I would haue bin more warie but let it suffice you that I ment but well and freeindly for otherwise I did it not I assure you Or earnestly for some greater matter then thus My hap is ill that of so good a meanynge should fall out so ill conceiuyng or so ill successe for that I did or sayde was as I woulde haue dooue to my very freeinde or would haue had doone to my selfe it rests in your choyce to beeleue mee but if you doo not you shall wronge your selfe as well as mee in mistrustynge mee without a cause Or thus I can but tell you and assure you on my faith I meant thus Or thus If I haue giuen you any cause to thinke otherwise or if it haue fallen out contrarie to mine expectation I am not only soarie for it but I will bee readie to make any recompence I can Or to ones better thus Truly sir it was not my intent to doo herein any thing that might offende but I will yeelde that it is fault inough that I vsed no more circumspection but that you may conceyue ill of it you neede not to giue mee any penance for that my repentance is so mutche Or thus If you knew my minde you would put mee in trust for reuengynge this fault for I shal bee angrie with my self this good while for it How a man shall shift of reproches or tauntes offred beetweene sporte and earnest by enuious and scornefull persons that will seeme to doo it so cunningly as the other shall haue the taunt and yet at his owne pleasure will denie it The. xi Chapter THe
of time which brynges experience to the wisest and peraduenture too euen some of the same defects which hee seeth scoft at in another may bee in himself vnknowen to himself or atleast others as ill And therfore the wisest way is if his better seeme to deride any for his beehauour to appeare by a smiling countenance to bee of the same opinion but in woordes to escuse it if hee may as if the doynges of him that is mocked shew simplicitie thus It may bee that bashfulnes is the cause if they shew rudenes then thus Want of experience makes men erre But if they bee his equals or interiours that so scof then merely thus Go too syrs many a one goynge aboute to mocke one hee cares not for doeth often touche himself or his neere freende or by a similitude thus On on saw yee neuer any or this that lift vp a weapon to strike another and hit himselfe Or thus Take your pleasure my masters I warrant you therebee that doo asmutche for vs as wee doo for them And in deede there cannot any greater prayse bee giuen to any man then this that one shall neuer here him speake ill of any and hearynge ill will make the best of it How bee it it is both within the limits of honestie wisdome freindship any man to discourse plainly with his freind either of the misbehauour or vnhonest dealynges of any that on the one side hee may shew himself a misliker of ill persons and also make his freinde ware of them And by the way it is to bee noted that there be three sorts of people which whosoeuer shal scoffe and skorne at or els iest with them further then the compas of curtesy shal permit shal receiue more disgrace by dooyng it then the other shall by sufferyng it The fyrst is women or simple milde sprited men for women must neuer be iesters nor scoffers further then the boundes of modestie and curtesie to make the time passe away the more pleasantly so that a man to iest so farre with them as they may not for shame answere nor for insufficiencie quarell for wil bee accompted a dishonorable battell wherein the vanquished hath more honour then the vanquisher for it is better to yeelde with silence then to contende for the masterie in vnfittyng termes and to offer the milde spreeted man the like that fynding himself agreeued hath neither the wit to shift of it in woordes neither the courrage to reuenge it in deedes is in the same predicament that the woman is And all noble mindes doo of their curtesies forbeare to offende and offer to defende all those that either cannot as feeble persons or ought not as the feminine sexe reuenge or defende them selues The seconde sorte that may not be mocked or scoffed at bee aged persons and sutch as ve deformed for want either of bewtie fauour or other blemishes in their shape stature or limmes because none of these thinges bee faults of their owne makyng neither lieth it in their power to amende them So as wee ought rather to bee mooued thereby to thanke the maker of vs all for dealyng so mutch better with vs then with them then to scorne or depraue them for that they cannot helpe And if withall wee will consyder that the deformities of the mynde bee so mutche fowler then those of the body as the soule is of more value and ought to bee more vniforme it wil bee a good meane to make the outward defects of others very small in respect of our owne which cannot but bee greater and many moe and consequently rather to escuse them then despise them The thyrd sorte that cannot beare neither ought to bee offred scoffing mockyng or iesting bee those that bee in miserie either by sorrow imprisonment or any aduersitie by losse of freeindes substance or credit For these be thynges sent from God to put vs in remembrance that wee hauyng deserued as ill may fal into the like when it pleaseth him and in the meane times bee obiects for vs to practise our compassion charitie vpon But there may ryse this question seeyng that publique enterteinments specially amonge yonge folkes are continued more often with speeche of litle importance then with matters of waight How a man findyng himself in such companie as are neither fit to discourse of matters of wisdome nor yet to bee imparted with of his owne priuate affayres shall finde matter sufficient to passe the time in companie For answer hereunto let this bee remembred that where as I haue sayd that men must take heede in their open talke how they bee to busy in bryngyng in the sayinges and doinges of noble persons least the hearers should thinke that hee arrogateth to himself greater acquaintance with sutche then in deede hee hath or els least cōmyng to theyr eares they should mislike that their inferiours should make them their talking stockes Yet if hee that shall so introduce by way of confirmatiō ensample or similitude the sayyng of his betters bee sure that it shew his wisdome and prayse or at the least some pleasantnesse without any harme or disgrace to any other hee may well vse it in his talke Prouided that hee speake it as by heresay except he haue it in deede by his owne knowledge Also women and deformed persons may bee pleasanted and iested with if their wit bee sutche as they delight in the like and can in good sporte enterchaunge in the same manner Prouided that the boundes of curtesie be obserued that is that there bee no cause of blusshyng giuen Also all men in sickenes prisonment or pouertie bee not miserable for they bee only sutch that haue an afflicted minde for some can iest and scoffe at their owne disgraces thinkynge thereby to make them seeme the lesse in other mens eyes while they appeare no heuier then sutche as themselues can pleasantly beare And sutche had rather bee iested with then pittied The fault therfore that can bee committed in these persons is the mockynge them beehinde their backes or despisyng them which no man ought to shew to any except it bee to them that be knowen to bee impudent and shamelesse persons or els sutche as bee knowen to bee ouerwenyng fooles in theyr owne conceyte and bee sutche as doo the like by others Of these a man may talke his pleasure as well of them as with them without any disgrace to himself Prouided that if any quarell rise thereby hee be as readie of courage to mayntayne it with his hand as of speeche to vtter it with his tongue Also a man may iest with his very famillier freinde if hee finde him of disposicion willynge to beare it and of wit sufficient to answer it And it skilles not what hee lay to his charge though it bee dishonestie prouided that it bee not true that is imputed to him or if it bee true that the other bee so brason faced as hee wil not bee ashamed of it I would not aduise any
for I warrant you I beeleeue all this to be true and mutche more Or to a mans better thus I thanke you for sayinge so for I hope some bodie here will beleeue it Or thus Take heede syr that you make not mee to beeleeue you herein better then you beeleeue your selfe for I tel you it wil bee hard to make mee thinke the contrarie Or thus Beware what you say for it lieth in you to bringe mee in as greate an errour as this coms too Or thus I know you will say nothinge but that you bee sure is true and therfore I meane bothe to beeleeue it my selfe and also to perswade the audience to bee of a right faith ¶ How a man shall answere to the prayse and thankes and curtesies seriously offered by his betters or equals The third Chapter THe prayse that anie man shall giue his freeindes to his face proceedynge of his owne iudgement in earnest and freeindly wise as one freeinde may in some order in vtteryng either his owne affection or to encourage the other without touche of flatrerie doo to an other it may be answered to his equall freeind dooyng it of good faith in parte as I haue prescribed beefore towardes his better in dooynge the like in mirthe Or thus I may not take your prayse for any thing for the goodwill you beare mee blindes you Or thus I pray you looke better into mee and when you finde how mutche you bee deceiued tell me of it that I may amende it Or thus If another should tel mee so mutche I should thinke he mockes mee but you may mocke me indeede and passe vnespied for the goodwill I thinke you beare mee To a staunger that shall prayse him or seem to conceaue a good opinion of him thus It were best I thinke neuer to be better acquainted with you least I make you of another opinion Or thus I thanke you for your good opinion I would I coulde beguile euery bodie so conningly as to make them of the same minde And to a mans better thus How mutche so euer I shall want in this my redinesse to bee at your commaundement shall supplie it Or thus The good opinion whiche rather my good hap then my deserts hath wrought in you causeth you I thinke to beeleeue that to be in mee which you wish to bee in mee Or thus I account my hap good that it pleaseth you but to say thus mutche for at the least I shal be ashamed of as mutche as I finde wantynge hereof in my selfe Or thus I cannot but take this as a freindly curtesy by pollicie to encourage mee to seeke the attainment of that which I am borne in hand to haue alreadie These and like answeres may be applied also to sutche as shal bring to his eares the good reportes of his freeindes giuen out of him behinde his backe as they terme it Prouided that hee pike them out accordinge to the distinction of persons beefore described and withal as it is to bee consydered that all thinges spoken in a showe of mirth though it seeme to the hearer somwhat sharpe and peraduenture anger him is yet to bee dissembled and answered merely So whensoeuer a man in any thing that hee may attribute truly to himselfe is praised to his face though it bee spoken earnestly and of good meanyng hee ought also in his foresaide manner of answeres to shew sutche a smilynge grace as it may appere hee taketh it as spoken rather of their curtesie then for any cause hee findes in himselfe why they should so say in speeche for the most parte the countenance the grace and sounde in the pronunciation is able with one self sentence without altringe woorde or sillable to please or displease others to shew himself wise or make him for so mutche to seeme foolishe SALOMON affirmeth that there is nothyng that more trieth the wit of man then the hearyng of his owne prayse for saith hee the wise man is put too his triall when hee is praysed to his face And therfore for this matter I coÌ„clude that for as mutche as many times it is harde to finde who speaketh of flatterie contrarie to his thought who by way of mockerie though hee know hee say true to trie him and who of good zeale to shew affection and to encourage him The surest way in this doubt is except to those whose freeindship by other meanes hee hath experience of to vse his answeres so as hee may make them earnest or sporte at his pleasure as he perceiueth their asseueracion to prouoke him How a man shall acquite himself towards noble persons that shall either for his freeindes sake or his owne offer him curtesies or assure him offreeindship willinge him in all chaunces to bee bolde with him The. iiii Chapter IN this case as in all other of intertaimnents the inferiour must â—â—â—e in what manner whether seriously or familliarly sutche curtesie or intertaynment bee offred him â–ª and thereafter â–ª to châ—â—e out and shape out answers â–ª agreeable to eche kinde â–ª for the first if hee bee a straunger to him but not to his freendes thus I know sutche or sutche of my freeindes so mutche bee holdynge to you too as hath bin sufficient to binde mee to honour and loue you and seeyng it pleaseth you to extende your curtesie also towardes mee I can but wish my seruice as sufficient as my good will is to assure you too of my thankefull minde Or thus My Lorde I can but acknowledge y debte for my selfe which before I thought to owe for others of my freeindes that haue tasted of your curtesie but I am glad that I may by this meanes shew it which your Lordship shall finde mee ready to doo wherin soeuer I shall thinke my seruice may bee acceptable Or thus As this your Lordships goodnes riseth of your curtesie without any desertes so must I confesse my selfe euer vnable to counterpeyse it I can but acknowledge my self too mutch bouÌ„d to you for it and double bounde if it shall please you to commaunde mee to the vttermost of my power Or thus I humbly thanke your L. I can but requite it with my seruice and that I beeseeche you coÌ„maunde Or thus My humble thankes are but an vnequall recompence and therfore I shal desier your L. to put my gratefull minde in trial by commaundynge my seruice Or shortly thus If my seruice may any way bee ought worth if I may but vnderstande it it shall not neede to bee commaunded Or thus I humbly thankâ— your L. and I beeseeche you commaunde mee as your seruant Or thus I humbly thanke your L. and I beseche you thinke that you vontchsafe this curtesie on him that will be as readie to requite it with the vttermost of his seruice as he that is better stored of woordes The vse of longe or short sentences must bee imployed accordinge as hee seeth the hearer at leasure How when the foresayde speeches bee offred by a noble
best way is if hee can touche the same partie as neere without seemyng to bee angrie but if he know nothyng perticulerly to charge him or to mocke him withall then to scorne â—â—n beetweene sporte and anger agayne as thus Oh finely handled were you borne so Or thus Jesus who would haue thought you coulde haue throwen so hard to hit your selfe Or thus I dare say you weene you haue spoken very trimly now Or thus You haue made a great speake sir Or thus That is quoth you Or thus I thanke you of your cost Or thus It is but your good nature to take or expounde it so Or thus As I remember I desired you not to say that for mee but yet you shall finde mee too kynde harted to die in your debt Or thus Did any bodie teache you to say so or coms it of your mother wit. ¶ Now if they shal replie go aboute to make it seeme they meane simply then thus I dare say you doo and therefore I thanke you as hartely Or thus Why I trust you thincke not that I doubte of that Or thus Why I take it so and therefore I commend you for it and so turne it to mirthe agayne if the other will needes haue it so But if the other will prosecute it with sharpe tauntes vnder â–ª a â—leeryng or laughyng countenance then thus Nay I am not skilled in iesters arte tell mee your minde in earnest and you shall finde mee ready to make you sutche sporte as I dâ—â—â— Or thus I will tell you if you will needes beecome a Jester to make Gentlemen sporte It were best to call some other to help countenance you that is of your facultie for in faith I am nothing apt for you at this time FINIS In any wise let a man shun as much aâ— he can in his entertaynmeÌ„ts to speake of himselfe as to tell what he hath said or what hee hath donne for that wil be taken to come of a desire to tell his owne prayse except it be either to his very freind or els that it bee sumthing that thother is destrous to here This is ment by sharp and taunting iestes when a man will seeke to disgrace or put one out of conÌ„tenance by iestes * There is a difference betweene ruffaÌ„ly phrases and such reprocheful woords as expresse the fowlenesse of the fact or the ilnesse of the person If the noble man bee not of authoritie The best way to this is to lende him a blow But yet the villany may bee sutch as hee maye strain good mannâ—â— But al chalenges of poyntinge places must bee made in the care for danger of law He that vanteth what he hath done or â—hâ—â—â—â—neth what he wil doo shal bee iudged a mâ— of many woords and few deedes But these words must bee vttered with sutch a gallant plesant somwhat scornfull grace y it may appere hee desireth nothyng more then that y other should meete him If hearyng of frayes a man seeme destrous to enquire of y cause and the manner he shall get experience without bewraying his ignorance for it wil be thought to proceede of delight to here rather then of necessitie to learne These and like speches with altrynge only the souÌ„de and countenance may serue in sport or between sport and ernest if a man like not to bee iested with Any prayses or thaÌ„ks require rather somewhat a smylyng grace then too solem though it bee to a mans better In al other entertainements spoken seriously a gladsome looke is a better grace then a flatterynge sâ—â—le This ceremonie is not to be vsed but wheÌ„ a man sitteth at the vpper messe with his bâ—tters or at the second wheÌ„ either the master of y house sitteth there or some â—â—ble person Iâ—'s counted a foolish grace euer to drinke to somebody specially at the fyrst draught