out by the Way among good People proceeds from want of frequent Conversation and Acquaintance with one another They whet their Spirits with abundance of useless and dry Disputes and when they come affably and civilly to talk together they find they are all of one Mind Strangeness and Distance and reservedness and shyness perpetuate many times the Quarrels and Contentions which an Hour or two's familiar Discourse would remove Acquaintance among Men of different Perswasions will by degrees cause them to entertain a better and more favourable Opinion of each other than they had before and indeed as one very well observes we ought to converse with one another as Friends and remember that the way to Agreement of all Parties is not to bring Men to be of one Opinion but to be of one Mind which we may be though of different Opinions Not by thinking the same things but by thinking well one of another endeavouring to preserve Charity as carefully as to preserve Truth Bishop Patrick's second Part of a Sermon before the then Prince of Orange p. 39. I do not see any Reason why a Conformist should shun our Society or we theirs nor why we should be strange to one another because we have not the very same Sentiments in things that are not Essential to Religion 4. Listning to Backbiters is another Cause of falling out Some People have so little Religion and so little Business that they can find nothing to do but to gad about to tell Stories of this or that Person whom they or their Friend does not like And if they be regarded such Busie-Bodies will occasion abundance of Strife It is a wise Man's Part to stiffle all their Revilings or not to give any Credit to them for Tale Bearers are usually the most Credulous and the most Impertinent and the most Censorious and the most Noisy of any People in the World they will always commend themselves and always reflect on others And it is a Sign they know not their own Hearts when they meddle so much with others I am afraid they keep not their own Vineyard nor sweep their own House they are so very much abroad and the hearkening to such silly People does oftentimes breed a lasting Mischief It would cause us to have an ill Opinion of Many that are a great deal better than they are represented and to sow Discord among Brethren is one of the seven things that are an Abomination to the Lord Prov. 6.18 Some Men take Delight to set others a quarrelling together and it is Musick to them to behold the Flames which they have kindled Tale-bearers are a sort of Hawkers and Pedlers of groundless Reports which they take in the Gross and afterwards Retail out in all Companies and it ought to be the Care of every good Man to have them suppress'd for they greatly hinder the Progress of Love 5. Another Cause why Men fall out is because they are very proud of their own Apprehensions and cannot bear to be Contradicted They would be humoured and have all People to say just as they say or to think as they think Self-will and Self conceit are the greatest underminers of Peace and Quietness both in Churches and Families You meet with abundance of People that cannot bear to have their Wills crost in the least or to have their Opinions examined and brought to the Test they carry it so haughtily as if they only were Infallible and all others were in the dark some Undervalue others because they have not their Parts and Learning or because they will not blindly submit to their Dictates and subscribe every thing which they say is True And others though they want Learning yet have great Confidence and will not suffer any to be in the Right but who use their Terms and just their way of Expression It is better to be charitable than to be only Learned And 't is better to be humble than to be too well conceited of our own Abilities a proud Man is a very bad Neighbour to dwell with such an one is to dwell with Storms and Tempests with Waves and Rocks for if he be Proud he is hard to please and can never be a good Friend Men are generally fond of the Brats of their own Brain and are very angry if others that see no Cause for it will not doat as much upon them as they do Prov. 13.10 the Pride of many is so great that they cannot live in any quiet unless they be flattered and unless others will acquiesce in all their Actions suffer themselves to be trod upon And Self conceited Men Sir William Temple's Obs on the Netherlands p. 169. as one says talk much of right Reason and mean always their own and make their private Imagination the measure of general Truth and the Dispute between them and us ends at last in three Words which it might as well have ended in at first That they are in the Right and we are in the Wrong 6. Another occasion of falling out is from an Ignorance of Human Nature It is strange Men do not consider that as there is a variety of Souls there always is and will be some variety of Thoughts some men have a quicker sight than others and penetrate with great ease and pleasure into the deepest recess of Truth whither a Man of a duller capacity will never come It would be a very senseless thing for one to be angry with another that he cannot see so well nor at so great a distance as he can All Persons will never have the very same Gifts nor the same Degrees of Grace and upon this account there will be different Apprehensions though they ought for all that to bear with one another for whilst they are in this World they will but know in part and but little of what is still further to be known And one great Reason of the various Sentiments of Persons about one and the same thing is from the Contexture of their Spirits in some they are very pure and lively in others they are gross and more terrestrial and according to these they have either a finer and more sprightly or a more dull and less active Soul which will act whilst it is in matter in very many things conformable to the good or ill Humours of the Body where it lodges during its Absence from the spiritual and unseen World And Men frequently mingle their particular Inclinations to which they are led by their Constitution and which they greatly value with the Matters of Religion Thus take as one observes a Man greatly admiring natural Philosophy he will be apt to mingle and qualifie Religion with Philosophical Notions Behmen who was a great Chymist resolves almost all Religion into Chymistry and frames his Conceptions of Religion suitable and conformable to Chymical Notions Many great Physicians that have much observed the Constitution of Man's Body have figured to themselves Notions of the Soul conformable to their Observations
Way when they might with great ease Travel lovingly together Inf. 3. See hence the woful Effects of Adam 's Fall This occasioned all the Disorders that are both in the great and little World all the Storms and Huricans and Tempests and Inundations and Miseries that break the Peace of the Creation and all those unbecoming violent Passions that are in the minds of Men who are now like the Beasts that perish and as so many Wolves and Lyons to one another Surely nothing of this would have ever hapned had not our first Parents tasted of the forbidden Fruit. By Transgressing the Command of God the Harmony of the lower World was greatly spoiled and Confusion and War and Bloodshed came instead of Peace and Love from that time to this these two happy Guests have been Strangers to the Sons of Men. To be Passionate and Revengful and Quarrelsome is to have the old Man in his Strength but to be Meek and Humble and Lowly and Forgiving is to be conformable to the second Adam 't is to shine with his Image who came to repair the breaches of the Fall therefore says the Apostle Col. 3.7 8. Now you also put off all these Anger Wrath Malice c. Inf. 4. The great Patience of God that so bears with all his Children when they fall out by the way and cannot bear with one another it is their Weakness their Folly and their Sin so to do but for his own sake though he is forely displeased at it yet he lets not all his Anger burst out upon them Would it not move even a mild and gentle Father to see his Children always quarrelling when he provides for them all Their Strife and Bitterness does vex his Soul but he remembers they are his Children still and they are but Children and he knows when they have grown to riper and wiser years even for their own ease they will be more quiet Alas they are Children in Vnderstanding that are Peevish and Fretful and soon Angry and when their Minds are more Enlightned they will by degrees be like their Heavenly Father who is Merciful and Kind and slow to Wrath Psal 103.8 9. It should fill us with wonder to consider how gracious how compassionate and how good our God is to us all when we are many times full of Bitterness and Venom against one another The next Thing is to enquire whence it is that good People and Brethren are apt to fall out by the way The causes of it are such as these 1. It arises from their Lusts and the remaining Corruption of their Nature Jam. 4.9 All the Commotions that disturb the Peace of the World or of the Church have their Original from the inward depraved Habits of the Souls of Men None are satisfied with their own Stations some seek to climb higher than they are and so justle and quarrel with all that oppose their Ambitious designs some have an inward grudging at the Reputation and Greatness and Serviceableness of others and their envy kindles a Rage within their Breasts which may be stifled by prudent Considerations for a while but it is so tormenting that it vents it self either in Reproaches or Opposition or Contempt of others Gal. 5.26 And Covetousness and an immoderate Desire of Wealth is the occasion of many fold Contentions and indeed it is for Mony or Dominion or some such alluring Bait that the greatest part of the World quarrel with one another or some Interest they have that is the Idol of their Hearts which they love and which they are afraid they must part withal if they should agree Too many Men in the Matters of Religion consult more their Temporal Advantage than God's Glory and it has been often observed by Learned Men Bishop Reynold's Works p. 949. That Avarice and Ambition a Spirit of Contention a corrupt Conscience and Carnal Ends have usually been the Original of those Heresies which have from Time to Time annoyed the Church of God and that Arius Valentinus Marcian Montanus Novatus and others by their Ambition and Impatience of Repulse revolted from the Truth Thus the Disciples strove together on the Way and it was who should be greatest To be Great in the World is that which many Persons so vehemently desire that to attain it they scruple not to disturb their own their Neighbours and the common Peace It is from Guilt and the too great Power of Sin in Brethren that they fall out by the Way Joseph gave this Caution to his Brethren because they had accused themselves as being verily guilty of great Barbarousness and Cruelty towards him and he was afraid that they might too severely reproach one another upon that account 2. This falling out often proceeds from a cross-grain'd Temper A little good Nature and Religion would bring the World and the Church to a state of Peace but some People are of so sowre and morose a Constitution that nothing that others do pleases them and so they fall out with them Some are so touchy and crabbed that the least thing puts them into a Flame the least Molestation gives them an occasion of stinging and troubling them Some are so Peevish that the least misunderstood Word or Expression that they do not like puts them all into a Heat I generally observe That Good-natur'd People whether Conformists or Nonconformists do most easily and pleasantly agree together And that those that are under the Curse of an uneasie rugged Temper never do nor will agree I am sure there would be a great deal of more Peace in the World if Men would but strive to resist the Vices of their own Constitution I am sure they would be less Wranglers if they were more Gentlemen for it is highly disagreeable to a well-bred Man to be always contradicting and opposing others a sweet affable courteous obliging Carriage and Expression does insensibly draw one to a good Opinion of those among whom it is observed and a stiff inflexible Temper is a vast hinderance to the Beauty and the Progress of Religion There may be good People that are bad natur'd but then I say it is their Duty to strive against and not to indulge their own Weakness Some Men are naturally hot and fiery and eager and violent and it is their Duty to cool this Heat with very serious and deliberate Consideration lest it ruin themselves at last as it now vexes others It is a most honourable thing for any Person to be yielding and full of Condescension towards others in all Lawful and Necessary Things I should reckon it a very great Misery as could well befal a Man of Temper of Meekness and Wisdom to be bound always to live with a morose crabbed Man it would be a very severe and tormenting Punishment Some are naturally boisterous and stormy and full of that Clamour which the Apostle reproves Eph. 4.31 32. and such disturb the World which if they could learn Silence would quickly be at Ease 3. This falling
Purpose The Ministers of the Church of England have done worthily in their excellent and Learned Writings against Popery they have shewed their feebler Adversaries the Papists what Learning and a good Cause was able to produce to their solid Resutation And I may add The Dissenters too have done their part against these Philistines though they have been by the severity of some later Years very much discouraged yet none will deny but such as Dr. Owen Mr. Baxter Mr. Clarkson and many other Divines among us have done very considerable Service in their Learned Books against the Common Enemy 8. Do not attribute the Judgments of God that may befal us all to this or that Party There is no doubt but we are all guilty of many Provocations in the Sight of God Do not say this or that Evil is long of the Conformists nor ought they to say this or that befals us because there are so many Dissenters This would be in too great Measure to imitate the Heathens in the Time of the first Persecutions who if there were any pinching Famine or any contagious Disease that over-ran Italy or if the River Tyber did overflow his Bounds and cause abundance of Damage to the Country by that means it was immediately the Clamour of the People That the Christians were the cause of all these Evils and that the Gods were angry with them for suffering the Christian Religion Thus pretending by an unwarrantable Impudence to know the certain Cause of God's Judgments which are a great deep and the laying the Blame only on one side does necessarily make People quarrel with one another whereas upon all such Occasions there ought to be among them a common and sincere Humiliation 9. We ought to study our own Hearts more and what Work we have to do there and then we should not so easily fall out with one another Alas if we have enough to do within with our own Thoughts with our own Passions with our own Sins what Time shall we have to range abroad and busily to meddle and interpose in the Business and Opinions of other People We shall have no time to censure when we find that we our selves are bad enough In order to accomplish this let us Consider I. How many things all good Christians and Protestants are agreed in We are all agreed That God is our only Happiness and Christ our only Saviour and the Spirit our only Sanctifier We are all agreed That Heaven is our Home and Holiness the way thither We are all agreed That the Scripture is the Rule of our Faith and that Sin the World and the Devil are our greatest Enemies why should we not bear with one another in things that are of a much lower nature than these great and weighty Matters of the Law For as one of our Learned Bishops expresses it The very Basis of the Reformed Religion is this Bish Patrick 's Serm. before the Queen on Col. 3.15 p. 36. That all necessary Truths are not only plainly contained in the Holy Scriptures but plainly set down there Which single Truth being agreed it is manifest there must needs be an Union of Opinions among us in all things necessary And as for other things which are not evident in Holy Scriptures and therefore are not necessary what should hinder but that notwithstanding any different Opinions about them there be among us a Unity of Affection unto which the Holy Scriptures direct and press us as the greatest Happiness of which this World is capable We have all the same Creed and we all subscribe to the same Doctrinal Articles except some small Points relating to the Ceremonies Let but the Ministers of all sides strive as Mr. Dod used to express it to preach Christ into the Hearts of their Hearers and then they will love as his Subjects and as Heirs of the same Glory and bear with one another How much common agreed Work have we all to do How many ignorant People to instruct How many Wounded to Heal How many Troubled in Soul to resolve and pacify How many Sleepers to a waken How many Wanderers to reduce into the Right Way And is all this Work upon our Hands and have we any Time to lose in Quarrelling and Falling out by the Way Consider 2. Whenever the most pleasant and prosperous Condition of the Church shall be manifested it will be introduced by Peace and Vnion and Love will then abound Is 11.6 The wolf shall dwell with the lamb and the Leopard shall lye down with the kid and the calf and the young lion and the fatling together and a little Child shall lead them c. v. 9. They shall not hurt nor destroy in all my holy Mountain for the earth shall be full of the knowledge of the Lord as the waters cover the sea Ezek. 28.24 There shall be no more a pricking brier unto the house of Israel nor any grieving thorn of all that are round about them that despised them and they shall know that I am the Lord God Zech. 14.9 The Lord shall be King over all the earth in that day shall there be one Lord and his name One. A glorious Light shall shine from Heaven and shall shew to all good People the Right and the Comely Way of Peace the Spirit of the Lord shall reconcile those Brethren that are now somewhat strange to one another then the Lustre of Christianity which is now obscured with our Contentions shall appear in all its Brightness and all that look upon the Church then shall discern it to be full of Glory It shall no more appear in Garments died in Blood mangled and torn by open Enemies and false Friends but in Garment of Praise and then be very Beautiful without as well as she is now within Then Zion shall be a praise throughout the earth Then shall the golden Age of Peace return again then shall the New Jerusalem descend from Heaven nay then Heaven it self shall come down to this Earth and our now deformed World shall then have an Amiable and comely Face Then the Tabernacle of God shall be with men and he will dwell with them And my Friends do we hear of such pleasant Things and such glorious Times and do we not all wish to see these joyful days begin to dawn Do we wish and shall we not endeavour by our Prayers and by our Love to make this blessed and comfortable Time to hasten on apace Surely 't is Motive enough to say it will be then a Time of Love Come then let us lay aside all Backbiting and Reproaches and Heats and Quarrels with one another come my Friends my Brethren and my Fellow-Travellers God is willing to forgive us all our former Sins and Provocations let us I beseech you forgive one another Let there not be one in this Assembly that harbours a rancorous revengeful Thought against any Person whatsoever Let us not Fall out by the Way for we hope to dwell in Peace