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A57495 Poems on several occasions by the right honourable the E. of R- Rochester, John Wilmot, Earl of, 1647-1680. 1680 (1680) Wing R1754; ESTC R33544 58,109 152

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th' Maids Daughter of noble Race Whilst Men of God to Betty B go VVhist Prick and Pen with White and Black does flow My lasting Verse shall magnifie the fame And melting Tarse adore thy holy name Therefore dear Mother lend thine equal Ear To my complaint and favour my just Prayer There is a place a down a gloomy Vale the Bath VVhere burthen'd Nature lays her nasty Tail Then Thousand Pilgrims thither do resort For ease disease for letchery and sport Thither two Beldames and a jilting Wife Came to swive off the tedious hours of life I willing to contribute to their joy Offer'd my Myte to th' young unsatiate Toy Who banish'd Cuck cause Cunt he cou'd not cloy Here upright Dame Kill-prick the wise old Jew Told me I must Twelve times her Womb bedew E're her Child Suck-prick shou'd her Buttocks shew Resolu'd to win like Hercules the Prize Twelve times I scour'd the Kennel twixt her Thighs The cheating Jilt at th' Twelft a Dry-Bob cryes My Prick and I thus cross bit in high rage Appeal'd to th' skilful sticklees on the Stage With that fair Tall-boy and bold Suck-prick come To squeeze my Tarse and pass their final doom Saying if on Priapus I cou'd shew One holy Relique of kind Pearly Dew i th' Twelth time in Kill-pricks Arse did Spew To their deriding Test I did submit Priapus squeez'd a Snow-Ball did emit Yet these Two partial Dames a dry Bob cry Perform your Bargain Peer or frigg and dye Thus was I Rook'd of Twelve substantial Fucks By these base stinking over it chink Nocks Your aid your aid dear Mother me inspire With apt revenge to feed my raging fire The gracious Matron smiling on him said Be it as thou desir'st my dear lov'd Lad For this abuse the Rump-fed-Runts shall mourn Till slimey Cunt to grimey A-se hole turn By her Caves Mouth a verdant Mirtle grows Bearing Loves Trophies on his sacred Boughs The Crowns of Kings were offer'd to this Shrine Dildoes and Merkins of thy Royal Line Fair Ladies hearts with Mitred Pricks transfixt In Mystick manner make the Crucifix To th' Tree she leads him from a Bough pulls down A mighty Tool a Dildoe of renown A Dildoe long and large as Hectors Launce Inscrib'd Honi Soit Qui Mal y' Pence Knight of the Garter made for 's vast deserts As Modern Heroe was for 's monstrous parts This pious Son said he nail up in Box By Carryer send it these salt burning Nocks Directed thus To the Lady most deserving Who 's made most Slaves and kept most Pricks from Starving O're-joy'd with hop'd success away he flyes To Bath disguis'd to bear the welcome Prize But when they saw the Image of the Blest Man Who can express how fast how swift they ran Each for her self to seize it no Dog at Deer Nor Hawk at Herne shew'd such a swift carri'ere At once they souse on the beloved Prey And sworn Friends do engage in Mortal Fray Old Kill-prick dreadful to her Friends and Foes Like Luxenburgh in Back and Breast-plate shows Gygantick Tall-boy famed in the West For Cornish Hugg to th fight her self addrest Whilst the Child Suck-prick hop'd to steal away By Stratagem the glory of the Day But all in vain Tall-Boy with one hand held Joves Prize with th' other crafty Suck-prick sell'd But looks not Menaces nor crashing blow Cou'd make stout Kill-prick quit her lov'd Deldoe Undanted she maintain'd a cruel fight For Conquest scratcht and tore withal her might So have I seen a crum-back Crab-louse stick With fervent love to lick creating Prick The more he pulls the more the loving Wretch Doea strive to stay and each Hair does catch Till murdring Man enrag'd from Ballocks tears The Nock-born-Bratt and ends his hopeful years So hard it far'd with Kill-prick had not Fate Sent Man of God to end the dire debate What rage what fury said he do ye stir To shed the Blood of Saints in civil War How well you make the Mother Church to mourn And to Fanaticks be the publick scorn For shame dear Souls reserve your noble blood To spend with Man Abasht the Warriers stood To see the holy Father in the place But strait on the matter putting a good face Thus Kill-prick spake To you O Reverend Sir The justness of this Cause I will transfer A Cause too great for Lay-men vile to try Fit for Plus Ultras deep Divinity A Cause for mhich blest Saints above wou'd dye The modest Tall-boy so devote appears Though stealing Prick you 'd think she had her Prayer's And thouhg she'had almost won the bloody Field With Suck-prick Babe of Grace to this does yield The case being stated holy Man does pray For a Blessing on 's endeavours then does say Whereas sage Matrones you do all agree Your case to yield to my integrity Fitter for general Councel than weak me Dildoe's a Lawful Tool deny 't who can I 'll prove 't is made for a meet help for Man As unto Rector Curate is Assistant So Dildoe's to faln Prick when Cunt has pist on 't But her 's th' Elect ordain'd for Propagation Who trusts in this is blest in Generation This has done more than Turnbridge Bath or Epsom Though ne're so barran this is sure to help ' em Then pulling out the Rector of the Females Nine times he bath'd him in their piping hot Tails Panting quoth he now peace be on ye all VVhen I am absent then one Dildoe call As those in holy Church to Image pray VVhen wonder-working Saint out o' th' way Thus all well pleas'd to Church away they go To sing Te Deum for their dear Dildoe An Allusion to Horace The 10th Satyr of the 1st Book Nempe incomposito Dixi pede c. VVEll Sir 't is granted I said D Rhimes Were stoln unequal nay dull many times VVhat foolish Patron is there found of his So blindly partial to deny me this But that his Plays embroider'd up and down With Wit and Learning justly pleas'd the Town In the same Paper I as freely own Yet having this allow'd the heavy Mass That Stuffs up his loose Volumns must not pass For by that Rule I might aswel admit Crowns tedious Scenes for Poetry and Wit 'T is therefore not enough when your false sense Hits the false Judgment of an Audience Of clapping Fools assembled a vast Crowd Till the throng'd Play-house crack with the dull load Though ev'n that Talent merits in some sort That can divert the Rabble and the Court. Which blundring S never cou'd attain And puzling O labours at in vain But within due proportions circumscribe What e're you write that with a flowing Tide The Style may rise yet in its rise forbear With useless words t' oppress the weary'd Ear. Here be your Language lofty there more light Your Rethorick with your Poetry unite For Elegance sake sometimes allay the force Of Epithets 't will soften the discourse A jeast in scorn points out and hits the
to be too severe Perhaps my Muse were fitter for this part For I profess I can by very smart On Wit which I abhor with all my heart I long to lash it in some sharp Essay But your grand indiscretion bids me stay And turns my Tide of Ink another way What rage ferments in your degen'rate mind To make you rail at Reason and Mankind Bless glorious Man to whom alone kind Heav'n An everlasting Soul has freely giv'n Whom his great Maker took such care to make That from himself he did the Image take And this fair frame in shining Reason drest To dignifie his Nature above Beast Reason by whose aspiring influence We take a flight beyond material sense Dive into Mysteries then soaring pierce The flaming limits of the Vniverse Search Heav'n and Hell find out what 's acted there And give the World true grounds of hope and fear Hold mighty Man I cry all this we know From the Pathetique Pen of Ingello From P Pilgrim S replys And 't is this very reason I despise This supernatural gift that makes a Myte Think he is the Image of the Infinite Comparing his short life void of all rest To the Eternal and the ever blest This busie puzling stirring up of doubt That frames deep Mysteries then finds 'em out Filling with Frantick Crowds of thinking Fools Those Reverend Bedlams Colledges and Schools Borne on whose Wings each heavy Sot can pierce The limits of the boundless Universe So charming Oyntments make an Old Witch flie And bear a Crippled Carcass through the Skie 'T is this exalted pow'r whose bus'ness lies In Nonsense and impossibilities This made a Whimsical Philosopher Before the spacious World his Tub prefer And we have modern Cloysterd Coxcombs who Retire to think cause they have naught to do But thoughts are giv'n for Actions government Where Action ceases thoughts impertinent Our Sphere of Action is lifes happiness And he who thinks Beyond thinks like an Ass. Thus whilst ' gainst false reas'ning I inveigh I own right Reason which I wou'd obey That Reason that distinguishes by sense And gives us Rules of good and ill from thence That bounds desires with a reforming Will To keep 'em more in vigour not to kill Your Reason hinders mine helps t' enjoy Renewing Apetites yours wou'd destroy My Reasons is my Friend yours is a Cheat Hungar call's out my Reason bids me eat Perversly yours your Appetite does mock This askt for Food that answers what 's a Clock This plain distinction Sir your doubt secures 'T is not true Reason I despise but yours This I think Reason righted but for Man I 'le nere recant defend him if you can For all his Pride and his Philosophy 'T is evident Beasts are in their degree As wise at least and better far than he Those Creatures are the wisest who attain By surest means the ends at which they aim If therefore Jowler finds and Kills his Hares Better than M supplyes Committed Chairs Though one 's a Sates-man th' other but a Hound Jowler in Justice wou'd be wiser found You see how far Mans wisedom here extends Look next if humane Nature makes amends Whose Principles most gen'rous are and just And to whose Morals you wou'd sooner trust Be Judge your self I 'le bring it to the test Which is the basest Creature Man or Beast Birds feed on Birds Beast on each other prey But Savage Man alone does Man betray Prest by necessity they Kill for Food Man undoes Man to do himself no good With Teeth Claws by Nature arm'd thy hunt Natures allowance to supply their want But Man with smiles embraces Friendships praise Unhumanely his Fellows life betrays With voluntary pains works his distress Not through necessity but wantonness For hunger or for Love they fight or tear Whilst wretched Man is still in Arms for fear For fear he Armes and is of Armes afraid By fear to fear successively betray'd Base fear the fource whence his best passion came His boasted Honour and his dear bought Fame That lust of Pow'r to which he 's such a Slave And for the which alone he dares be brave To which his various Projects are design'd Which makes him gen'rous affable and kind For which he takes such pains to be thought wise And screws his actions in a forc'd disguise Leading a tedious life in Misery Under laborious mean Hypocrisie Look to the bottom of his vast design Wherein Mans VVisdom Pow'r and Glory joyn The good he acts the ill he does endure 'T is all for fear to make himself secure Meerly for safety after Fame we thirst For all Men wou'd be Cowards if they durst And honesty's against all common sense Men must be Knaves 't is in their own defence Mankind's dishonest if you think it fair Amongst known Cheats to play upon the square You 'le be undone Nor can weak truth your reputation save The Knaves will all agree to call you Knave VVrong'd shall he live insulted o're opprest VVho dares be less a Villain than the rest Thus Sir you see what humane Nature craves Most Men are Cowards all Men shou'd be Knaves The diff'rence lyes as far as I can see Not in the thing it self but the degree And all the subject matter of debate Is only who 's a Knave of the first Rate All this with indignation have I hurl'd At the pretending part of the proud World Who swolne with selfish vanity devise False freedoms holy Cheats and formal Lyes Over their fellow Slaves to tyrannize But if in Court so just a Man there be In Court a just Man yet unknown to me Who does his needful flattery direct Not to oppress and ruine but protect Since flattery which may so ever laid Is still a Tax on that unhappy Trade If so upright a States-Man you can find Whose passions bend to his unbyas'd Mind Who does his Arts and Policies apply To raise his Country not his Family Nor while his Pride own'd Avarice withstands Receives Aureal Bribes from Friends corrupted hands Is there a Church-Man who on God relyes Whose Life his Faith and Doctrine Justifies Not one blown up with vain Prelatique Pride Who for reproof of Sins does Man deride Whose envious heart with his obstrep'ous sawcy Eloquence Dares chide at Kings and raile at Men of sense Who from his Pulpit vents more peevish lies More bitter railings scandals Calumnies Than at a Gossipping are thrown about When the good Wives get drunk and then fall out None of that sensual Tribe whose Talents lye In Avarice Pride Sloth and Gluttony Who hunt good Livings but abhor good Lives Whose lust exalted to that height arrives They act Adūltery with their own Wives And e're a score of years compleated be Can from the lofty Pulpit proudly see Half a large Parish their own Progeny Nor doating B who wou'd be ador'd For domineering at the Councel Board A greater Fop in business at fourscore Fonder of serious Toyes affected more Than the gay glitt'ring Fool at twenty proves