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A29784 Novus reformator vapulans, or, The Welch Levite tossed in a blanket in a dialogue between Hick-- of Colchester, David J--nes and the ghost of Wil. Pryn. Brown, Thomas, 1663-1704. 1691 (1691) Wing B5067; ESTC R19452 34,237 46

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as if the great Enemy of Mankind the Devil had sown the City with Rape-seed This has sunk his Reputation somewhat in the World There are several others in the same predicament with these but it wou'd be as troublesome to enlarge upon their Characters as to acquaint you with all the variety of Night-Caps Flannel Shirts Wastcoats Doublets and Upper-Coats a certain Noble Peer wears in the Winter Pryn. I find by what you have told me it will not be so very convenient to muster up the Charge of Ignorance But what say you now to the old Imputation of Debauchery and Profaneness Hick I am afraid Mr. Pryn this same business will do us as little service as the former 't is a two-edged Sword and cuts either way We still call ourselves indeed the sober godly part of the Nation for the same reason I suppose as the Kings of England stile themselves Kings of France viz. because our Forefathers were so But they a shame take 'em for it wore their Hypocrisie to Rags and so their Sons were cheated of their Inheritance and have only the Name to boast of A pious Sister can now pass by a Church even when the Organ is playing and yet fall into no Fits or be discomposed at the matter And a moody Brother can ride his Horse by a May-Pole and yet the insensible Beast never starts or offers to throw his Master even singing of Psalms in private Families is as much out of fashion as paying of Debts with the Men of Alsatia a Man may go through the Poultry or any of the most sanctified Streets about the Town a hundred times and hear none of the comfortable Poetry of Sternhold and Wisdom Lay Elders send their Daughters to Dancing Schools and their Sons wear Long Hair and set up for Sparks of the Town 'T is a sad observation Mr. Pryn but a very true one that as a Miser generally begets a Prodigal so a Saint begets a Rake-hell Pryn. Alas I am sorry to hear it and is there then ne're a publick spirited Son of Thunder in the whole Tribe that has Courage and Hardiness enough to lash the degeneracy of the Age and awake People to a sense of their Duty Hick No Mr. Pryn since you left the Earth we have been destitute of such brave fiery resolute Patriots There is indeed one Mr. Stephens a Poultry-Author that has very lately attempted something of this nature but through his too zealous management of the Affair it happen'd to miscarry He proposed to the Parliament to have the beginning or pledging of a Health punish'd with the same Penalty as he sets upon Swearing which is the precise Sum of twenty shillings and in case of disability to have those notorious Offenders put in the Stocks and whipt So likewise for any one that should presume to keep an Organ in a Publick House to be fined 20 l. and made uncapable of being an Ale-draper for the future But Mr. St did not think this punishment was sufficient for 'em so he humbly requested to have 'em excommunicated into the bargain and not to be absolv'd without doing Publick Penance Pryn. And did so pious a Project as this come to nothing do you say Hick 'T is very true Mr. Pryn it was nipt in the bud Not to be tedious with you there are none of the Dissenters that make any tolerable pretence to their ancient Austerity but the Quakers and even they begin to decline by degrees from their primitive Institution They still make a shift to retain their distinguishing Garb their little Cravats broad-brim'd Hats short Hair and Coats without Pockets before but as for the rest of the Separatists they have clearly lost all their Ear-marks you may meet with twenty and twenty of 'em in the Streets and yet not be able to distinguish 'em from the prophane part of Mankind by any exterior appearances And to say the truth their Forefathers are to be blamed for it they wore their Hypocrisie as they say a Welch-man wears a Shirt till it drop off from their shoulders they did not leave Hypocrisie but Hypocrisie left them Pryn. Well I should utterly despair of ever hearing that Presbytery wou'd make a figure again in the World unless it were for some comfortable News that I have learn'd of a Scotch Ghost in the other World He inform'd me of the miraculous Turn of Affairs in that Kingdom how Episcopacy was abolished and Christianity in its puris naturalibus set up in the room of it and what is yet more material how the Covenant the Covenant of blessed Memory is still looked upon as obligatory So I am in good hopes our dear Brethren there will cross the Tweed one of these days to remove the accursed thing to propagate the Cause and establish the great Works of Righteousness and Truth Hick Take my word for 't Mr. Pryn that Turn of Affairs as you call it in Scotland is not so much for our advantage as you imagine For my part I 'm so far from thinking it will contribute any thing to our Interest that on the other hand I fear it has broke the Neck of our Reputation or rather of our Juggling They have carried on the Reformation in that Kingdom with so much heat and rigour not to call it cruelty that altho' their Brethren of the same Perswasion here in England have made a horrid noise about the persecuting Spirit of the Established Church and daily talk of Moderation and giving Quarter to those of a different Religion yet 't is breath foolishly spent for every body believes they wou'd Copy from their dear Brethren of Scotland if ever they shou'd arrive to have the Power in their hands Such an ill favour'd Accident as this happen'd in the late Reign The Jesuits were willing to wipe off some of the most popular Scandal from Popery so they prevail'd with the King to grant Liberty of Conscience to all his Subjects and then they fell a magnifying the Charity and Bowels of the Church of Rome after a wonderful manner At the same time those of the Society in France were playing the Devil at the expence of the poor Hugonets so it was a very comical Scene to observe with what flourishes the Priests recommended Love and Unity and Forbearance to us here at home when there daily came over such shoals of French Refugee's to contradict every Syllable they said and 't is no small diversion to our Enemies without doubt to hear our Dissenting Parsons talk of Peaceableness and Gentleness and the Lord knows what when our streets are crouded with so many of the Episcopal Clergy of the other Kingdom whom the Presbyterian Moderation has forced to seek their Bread in another Climate But stay who comes here 't is one of my own Cloath David J appears I perceive I 'll say that for him he 's a brave lusty well-built Fellow But he mutters with himself like a bilked Coach-man or a disappointed Projector and looks
Property of the Subject that we cannot attacque it with the least colourable Reproach or Calumny Pryn. How And is it impossible then to trump the old Card of Popery and so forth upon them Hick Why truly Mr. Pryn 't is even so We must take our everlasting farewel of that Argument it will do us no farther service I can assure you It has been the perpetual cry of the Saints you know ever since the beginning that when ever a favourable opportunity shew'd it self the Prelates and all that Party wou'd immediately list themselves in the Service of the Man of Sin Pryn. I remember it very well by the same token that this aspersion did our Cause no inconsiderable service in the late Wars when we traduced 'em all for being Babylonishly affected by Vertue of which Scandal we made a shift to get an Archbishop sacrificed on Tower-Hill and the whole Fraternity totally extirpated Hick What you say is indeed very true But alas I cannot think upon it without considering at the same time how unfortunate we their Posterity are who cannot presume to perform such glorious Exploits The only thing we can do is to make a little Clamor about Prelatical Persecution but even this pretence vanishes and makes no impression as soon as People reflect upon the Rigor and iron Yoke of Presbytery when by the Pious Efforts of the Parliament in Forty Three it was advanced to the Chair But as I hinted to you before we must take our everlasting Farewel of our old dearly beloved Topick of Popery for we cannot mention it without reproaching our selves to the highest degree and doing them the greatest Honour in the World Pryn. Though I must confess I have an incurable hatred to Episcopacy as I believe all Persons have that are deeply tinctured with my Principles yet I cannot forbear to acquaint you that if what you say is really true it would oblige me to abate a great deal of my old Severity and Prejudices against them Hick The late King you must understand was a zealous Bigot for the Popish Religion and endeavour'd by all the ways in the World to introduce it into the Kingdom and as this Design was not to be executed considering the posture of Affairs at that time without making use of an unlimited Arbitrary Power and carrying the Prerogative to greater heights than any of his Predecessors had done so the only Obstacle he met with both in regard to Popery and the Dispensing Power was from the Established Church Not a single Pamphlet appeared either from the Savoy or St. Iames's but immediately all its little Artifices were laid open and all the Arguments answered with that perspicuity of Thought that beauty of Language that variety of Learning and above all that respect to the Sovereign then in being that I even I who am a Professed Enemy to the whole Tribe and hate them as heartily as the Apothecaries hate the Chirurgeons that intrench upon their Trade yet cannot forbear to do them this undeniable piece of Justice Nay would you believe it Seven of the Prelates chose a voluntary Imprisonment rather than contribute the least either to the introducing of Popery or the Slavery of their Country so that that Religion had in a manner abdicated a long time before its Monarch All this while the Dissenters Pryn. Ay what did they do for you know they use to smell Popery at as great a distance as Hick As they say a certain Peer's Horse can smell Fire Pryn. And besides hate Popery and all its wicked Works as mortally Hick As an itinerant begging Levite does Pluralities or a Griping old Cit does a Lecture against Oppression Why all this while Mr. Pryn. the Dissenters sate as mute as a new Sea-Chaplain in an Engagement and notwithstanding there were every day fresh advances made in behalf of the Romish Religion yet they seemed to apprehend the danger of Popery no more than Noah and his Family did the Conflagration when they were stow'd up in the Ark. Pryn. You have certainly a Design to amuse me with Impossibilities for in my time I am sure the Dissenters were another sort of Men rather than not find Popery some where or another they could then find it out in Christmas-Pies and Plum-Porridge and rather than not quarrel with Idolatry they could then quarrel with the Will-worship of May-poles Hick Upon my word Mr. Pryn 't is every Syllable true what I have told you you need not entertain any such ill-grounded a suspicion of me as to imagine that I would slander them in the least To reassume my Discourse I don't know of one single Sheet of Paper that was written either by any of their Divines or so much as a Lay Elder against the common Adversary nor did I ever hear of the least inclination they shew'd to oppose Popery by way of Discourse unless it were a certain Minister of that stamp here in Town who as often as he mentioned King Iames in his Prayers very honestly prayed that he might become the terrour of Rome Pryn. What that a Popish King might become the terrour of Rome O Incorrigible Sot And why not as well that he might become the Scourge of Constantinople Nay why did he not carry his ridiculous Banter farther and Pray as follows Viz. May he fall foul upon the Skirts of the Great Mogul and confound the Devices of the Cham of Tartary May the Bey of Algiers truckle to him and the Mad King of Madagascar be his most Humble Servant May his West-India Plantations never fail to send his Subjects the best Tobacco and his East-India Factories never fail to send them the best Spices to put in their Bottled Ale All this Stuff might have been as pertinently pray'd for as that a Popish King might become the Terrour of Rome And was this all they did Hick You shall hear Instead of encountering our profest Enemies who were every day gaining ground upon us the Dissenters employ'd themselves in nothing else but charging the Church of England with a Spirit of Persecution tho' what they suffered was between Friends I may say it rather upon the score of an open plain Conspiracy than for their Religion and besides was not to be named in the same Year with what the Episcopal Party had without any pretence of Equity suffer'd under their Dominion formerly Pryn. These undiscreet Proceedings gave admirable Sport and Entertainment to the Priests without question But pray proceed Hick Shortly after this the late King for Reasons obvious and evident enough was pleased to issue out a Free Toleration to all his loving Subjects of what Perswasion soever and tho' the Dissenters if they had had but half the Understanding of an Humble-Bee might have easily perceived the drift and meaning of that Indulgence yet they either really were or what is full as stupid pretended to be altogether insensible of the design You cannot imagine how dutifully they swallow'd this Bait tho' it scarce served to