I before God are they Fra. And wherefore came not you to call me then Coo. Because I was loth to change my game Fâ—a. What game Coo. You were at one sort of bowles as I was at another Phi. Sirra he meanes the buttery bowles of beere Coo. By God sirra we tickled it Fra, Why what a swearing keepes this drunken asse Canst thou not say but sweare at euery word Phi. Peace do not marre his humour prethie Franke Coo. Let him alone hee 's a springall he knowes not what belongs to an oath Fra. Sirra be quiet or I doe protest Coo. Come come what doe you protest Fra. By heauen to crack your Crowne Coo. To crack my crowne I lay yea crowne of that Lay it downe and ye dare Nay sbloud I le venter a quarters wages of that Crack my crowne quoth a Fra. Will ye not be quiet will ye vrge me Coo. Vrge yee with a pox who vrges ye You might haue said so much to a clowne O Or one that had not been ore the sea to see fashions I haue I tell ye true and I know what belongs to a man Crack my crowne and ye can Fra. And I can ye rascall Phi. Hold haire braine holde Dost thou not see hee s drunke Coo. Nay let him come Though he be my masters sonne I am my masters man And a man is a man in any ground in England Come and he dare a comes vpon his death I will not budge an inche no sbloud will not Fran. Will ye not Phi. Stay prithie Franke Coomes dost thou heare Coo. Heare me no heares Stand away I le trust none of you all If I haue my backe against a Cart wheele I would not care if the deuill came Phi. Why ye foole I am your friend Coo. Foole on your face I haue a wife Fra. Shee s a whore then Coo. Shee s as honest as Nan Lawson Phi. What 's she Coo. One of his whores Phi. Why hath he so many Coo. I as many as there be Churches in London Phil. Why that 's an hundred and nine Boy Faith he lyes a hundred Phi. Then thou art a witnes to nine Boy No by God I le be witnes to none Coo. Now doe I stand like the George at Colbrooke Boy No thou standst like the Bull at S. Albones Coo. Boy ye lye the hornes Boy The Bul 's bitten see how he buts Phil. Comes Comes put vp my friend and thou art friends Coo. I le heare him say so first Phil. Franke prethie doe be friends and tell him so Fra. Goe to I am Boy Put vp sir and ye be a man put vp Coom. I am easily perswaded boy Phil, Ah ye mad slaue Coomes Come come a couple of whore-masters I found yee and so I leaue yee Exit Phil. Loe Franke dost thou not see hee s drunke That twits me with my disposition Fra. What disposition Phil. Nan Lawson Nan Lawson Fran. Nay then Phil. Goe to ye wag t is well If euer yee get a wife I faith I le tell Sirra at home we haue a Seruingman Hee s not humord bluntly as Coomes is Yet his condition makes me often merrie I le tell thee sirra hee s a fine neate fellow A spruce slaue I warrant ye hee le haue His Cruell garters crosse about the knee His woollen hose as white as the driuen snowe His shooes dry leather neat and tyed with red ribbins A nose-gay bound with laces in his Hat Bridelaces sir his hat and all greene hat Greene Couerlet for such a grasse greene wit The goose that graseth on the greene quoth he May I eate on when you shall buried be All Prouerbes in his speech hee 's prouerbs all Fra. Why speakes he Prouerbs Phi. Because he would speake truth And prouerbes you le confesse are olde saide sooth Fra. I like this well and one day I le see him But shall we part Phil. Not yet I le bring you somewhat on your way And as we goe betweene your boy and you I le know where that Praunser stands at leuery Fra. Come come you shall not Phil. I faith I wil Exeunt Enter master Barnes and his wife M. Bar. Wife in my minde to day you were too blame Although my patience did not blame ye for it Me thought the rules of loue and neighbourhood Did not direct your thoughts all indirect Were your proceedings in the entertaine Of them that I inuited to my house Nay stay I doe not chide but counsell wife And in the mildest manner that I may You need not viewe me with a seruants eye Whose vassailes sences tremble at the looke Of his displeased master O my wife You are my selfe when selfe sees fault in selfe Selfe is sinne obstinate if selfe amend not Indeede I saw a fault in thee my selfe And it hath set a foyle vpon thy fame Not as the foile doth grace the Diamond Mi. Ba. What fault sir did you see in me to day M. Bar. O doe not set the organ of thy voice On such a grunting key of discontent Doe not deforme the beauty of thy tongue With such mishapen answeres rough wrathfull words Are bastards got by rashnes in the thoughts Faire demeanors are Vertues nuptiall babes The off-spring of the well instructed soule O let them call thee mother then my wife So seeme not barren of good curtesie Mi. Bar. So haue ye done M. Bar. I and I had done well If you would do what I aduise for well Mi. Bar. What 's that M. Bar. Which is that you would be good friendes with mistresse Goursey Mi. Bar. With mistresse Goursey M. Bar. I sweet wife Mis. Bar. Not so sweet husband M. Bar. Could you but shew me any grounded cause M. s. Bar. The grounded cause I ground because I wil not M. Bar. Your will hath little reason then I thinke M i. Bar. Yes sir my reason equalleth my will M. Bar. Le ts heare your reason for your will is great Mi. Bar. Why for I will not M. Bar. Is all your reason for I will not wife Now by my soule I held yee for more wise Discreete and of more temperature in sence Then in a sullen humour to effect That womans will borne common scholler phrase Oft haue I heard a timely married girle That newly left to call her mother mam Her father Dad but yesterday come from That 's my good girle God send thee a good husband And now being taught to speake the name of husband Will when she would be wanton in her will If her husband aske her why say for I will Haue I chid men for vnmanly choyse That would not sit their yeares haue I seene thee Pupell such greene yong things and with thy counsell Tutor their wits aâ— dart thou now infected With this disease of imperfection I blush for thee ashamed at thy shame Mi. Bar. A shame on her that makes thee rate me so M. Bar O black mouth'd rage thy breath is boysterous And thou makst vertue shake at this high storme Shee s
Phi. Franke thy mother Fra. Swones where a plague vppon it I thinke the deuill is set to crosse this match Mi. Go. This is the house Dick Coomes yonder 's light Let vs go neere how now me thinkes I see My sonne stand hand in hand with Barnes his daughter Why how now sirra is this time of night For you to be abroad what haue we heere I hope that loue hath not thus coupled you Fra. Loue by my troth mother Loue she loues me And I loue her then we must needs agree Mi. Bar. I but I le keep her sure enough from thee Mi. Go. It shall not need I le keep him safe enough Be sure he shal not graft in such a stock Mi. Bar. What a stock forsooth as good a stock as thine I doe not meane that he shall graft in mine Mi. Gou. Nor shall he mistris harke boy th' art but mad To loue the branch that hath a roote so bad Fra. Then Mother I le graft a Pippin on a Crab Mi. Gou. It will not prooue well Fra. But I le prooue my skill Mi. Bar. Sir but you shall not Fra. Mothers both I will M. Ba. Harke Phillip send away thy sister straight Let Francis meete her where thou shalt appoint Let them goe seuerall to shun suspition And bid them goe to Oxford both this night There to morrow say that we will meete them And there determine of their marriage Phi. I will though it be very late and darke My sister will endure it for a husband M. Ba. Well then to Carfolkes boy I meane to meet thē Phil. Enough would they would begin to chide Exit For I would haue them brawling that meane while They nay steale hence to meete where I oppoint it What mother will you let this match go forward Or mistresse Goursey will you first agree Mi. Gou. Shall I agree first Phi. I why not come come Mi. Go. Come from her sonne if thou lou'st thy mother Mi. Bar. With the like spell daughter I coniure thee Mi. G. Francis by faire meanes let me win thee from her And I will gild my blessing gentle sonne With store of Angels I would not haue thee Check thy good fortune by this thy cusning choise O doe not thrall thy happie libertie In such a bondage if thou 'lt be needs bound Be then to better worth this worthlesse choise Is not fit for thee Mi. Bar. I st not fit for him wherefore i st not fit Is he too braue a gentleman I praie No t is not fit she shall not fit his turne If she were wise she would be fitter for Three times his better minion go in or I le make ye I le keep ye safe from him I warrant ye Mi. Gou. Come Francis come from her Fra. Mothers with both hands shoue I hate from loue That like an ill companion would infect The infant minde of our offection Within this cradle shall this minutes babe Be laide to rest and thus I le huge my ioy Mi. Gou, Wilt thou be obstinate thou selfe wilde boy Nay then perforce I le part ye since ye will not Coom. Doe yee heare mistresse praie yee giue me leaue to talke two or three cold words with my yong Master harke ye sir yee are my Masters sonne and so foorth and indeed I beare ye some good will partlie for his sake and partly for your own and I do hope you do the like to me I should be sorry els I must needs saie ye are a yong man and for mine owne part I haue seene the world I know what belongs to causes the experience that I haue I thanke God I haue trauelled for it Fra. Why how far haue ye trauelled for it Boy From my masters house to the Ale-house Coo. How sir Bo So sir Coo. Go to I praie correct you boie t was nere a good world since a boie would face a man so Fra. Go to forward man Coom. Wel sir so it is I would not wish ye to marry without my mistris consent Fra. And why Coom. Nay there 's nere a why but there is a wherefore I haue known some haue done the like they haue daunst a Galliard at Beggers bush for it Boy At Beggers bush here him no more maister he doth bedawbe ye with his durty speach doe ye heare sir how farre stands Beggers bushe from your fathers house sir how thou whorson refuge of a Taylor that wert prentise to a tailor half an age because if thou hadst serued ten ages thou wouldst proue but a botcher thou leapst frō the shop board to a Blew coate doth it become thee to vse thy tearms so wel thou degree aboue a hackney and ten degrees vnder a Page sow vp your lubber lips or t is not your sworde and Buckler shall keep my Poniard from your brest Coo. Do ye heare sir this is your boy Fran. How then Coom. You must breech him for it Fran. Must I how if I will not Coom. Why then t is a fine world when boies keep boies and know not how to vse them Fra. Boy ye rascall Mi. Gour. Strike him and thou darst Coom. Strike me alas he were better strike his father Sownes go to put vp your Bodkin Fran. Mother stand by I le teach that rascall Coom. Go to giue me good words or by Gods dines I le buckle ye for all your bird-spit Fran. Will ye so sir Phi. Stay Franke this pitch of Frensie will defile thee Meddle not with it thy vnreprooued vallour Should be high minded couch it not so low Dost heare me take occasion to slip hence But secretly let not thy mother see thee At the backside there is a Cunny greene Stay there for me and Mall and I will come to thee Fra. Enough I will mother you doe me wrong To be so peremptory in your commaund And see that rascall to abuse me so Coom Rascall take that and take all do ye heare sir I doe not meane to pocket vp this wrong Bo. I know why that is Coo. Why Bo. Because you haue nere a pocket Co. A whip sira a whip but sir prouide your tooles against to morrow morning t is somewhat darke now indeed you know Dawsons close betweene the hedge the pond t is good euen ground I le meete you there I do not call me cut and you be a man shew your selfe a man wee le haue a bout or two and so wee le part for that present Fran. Well sir well Nic. Boy haue they appointed to fight Boy I Nicholas wilt not thou go see the fray Nich. No indeed euen as they brewe so let them bake I wil not thrust my hand into the flame and need not t is not good to haue an oare in another mans boate little said is soone amended in litle medling commeth great rest t is good sleeping in a whole skin so a man might come home by weeping crosse no by lady a friend is not so soone gotten as
My mother followed me but I ran fast Thinking who went from hate had need make hast Take me she cannot though she still persue But now sweet knight I do repose on you Be you my Orator and plead my right And get me one good day for this bad night Ra. Alas good heart I pitty thy hard hap And I le employ all that I may for thee Franke Goursey wench I doe commend thy choyse Now I remember I met one Francis As I did seeke my man then that was he And Philip too belike like that was thy brother why now I find how I did loose my self And wander vp down mistaking so Giue me thy hand Mall I will neuer leaue Till I haue made your mothers friends againe And purchast to ye both your hearts delight And for this same one bad many a good night T will not be long ere that Aurora will Deckt in the glory of a golden sunne Open the christall windowes of the East To make the earth enamourde of thy face When we shall haue cleare light to see our way Come night being done expect a happy day Exeunt Enter mistresse Barnes Mis. Ba O what a race this peeuish girle hath led me How fast I ran and now how weary I am I am so out of breath I scarce can speake What shall I doe and cannot ouertake her It is late and darke and I am far from home May there not theeues lye watching heere about Intending mischiefe vnto them they meete There may and I am much affrayde of them Being alone without all company I doe repent me of my comming foorth And yet I do not they had else been married And that I would not for ten times more labour But what a winter of colde feare I stole Freecing my heart least danger should betide me What shal I do to purchase company I heare some hollow here about the fields Then here I le set my Torch vpon this hill Whose light shall Beacon-like conduct them to it They that haue lost theyr way seeing a light Will come to it well here I le lye vnseene For it may be seene farre off in the night And looke who comes and chuse my company Perhaps my daughter may first come to it Mi. Gour. Where am I now nay where was I euer now Nor now nor then nor where I shall be know I I thinke I am going home I may as well Be going from home t is so very darke I cannot see how to direct a step I lost my pursuing of my sonne My sonne escapt me too now all alone I am enforst to wander vp and downe Barnses wife 's abroad pray God that she May haue as good a daunce nay ten times worse Oh but I feare she hath not she hath light To see her way O that some bridge would breake That she might fall into some deep digd ditch And eyther breake her bones or drowne her selfe I would these mischiefes I could wish to her Might light on her but soft I see a light I will go neere t is comfortable After this nights sad spirits dulling darknes How now What is it set to keep it selfe Mis. Bar. A plague on t is she there Mis Gou. O how it cheares quickens vp my thoughts Mi. Bar. O that it were the Besseliskies fell eye To poyson thee Mi. Gou. I care not if I take it Sure none is heere to hinder me And light me home Mi. Bar. I had rather she were hangd Then I should set it there to doe her good Mis. Go. I faith I will Mi. Ba. I faith you shall not mistresse I le venter a burnt finger but I le haue it Mi. Gou. Yet Barnses wife would chafe if that she knew That I had this good to get a light Mi. Ba. And so she doth but praise you lucke at parting Mi. Go. O that it were her light good faith that she Might darkling walke about as well as I Mi. Ba. O how this mads me that she hath her wish Mi. Go. How I would laugh to see her trot about Mi. Bar Oh I could cry for anger and for rage Mi. Go. But who should set it here I maruel a Gods name Mi. Bar. One that will hau'te from you in the deuils name Mi. Go. I le lay my life that it was Barnses sonne Mi. Ba. No forsooth it was Barnses wife Mi. Gou, A plague vpon her how she made me start Mistresse let goe the Torch Mis. Bar. No but I will not Mis. Gou. I le thrust it in thy face then Mi. Bar. But you shall not Mi. Gou. Let go I say Mi. Ba. Let you go for t is mine Mis. Go. But my possession saies it is none of thine Mi. Bar. Nay I haue holde too Mi. Gou. Well let go thy hold or I will spurne thee Mi. Bar. Do I can spurne thee too Mi. Go. Canst thou Mi. Ba. I that I can Enter Master Goursey and Barnes M. Go. Why how now woman how vnlike to women Are ye both now come part come part I say M. Ba. Why what immodesty it this in you Come part I say fie fie Mi. Ba. Fie fie she shall not haue my torch Giue me thy torch boy I will run a tilt And burne out both her eyes in my encounter Mi. Go. Giue roome and le ts haue this hat carerie M. Go. I say ye shall not wife go to tame your thoughts That are so mad with fury M. Ba. And sweet wife Temper you rage with patience do not be Subiect so much to such misgouernment Mi. Bar Shal I not sir when such a strumpet wrongs me M. Go. How strumpet mistris Barnes nay I pray harke ye I oft indeed haue heard you call her so And I haue thought vpon it why ye should Twither with name of strumpet Do you know any hurt by her that you terme her so M. Ba. No on my life rage onely makes her say so M. Go. But I would know whence this same rage should come Wher 's smoke there 's fire and my heart misgiues My wiues intemperance hath got that name And mistresse Barnes I doubt and shrewdly doubt And some great cause begets this doubt in me Your husband and my wife doth wrong vs both M. Ba. How thinke ye so nay master Goursey then You run indebt to my opinion Because you pay not such aduised wisedome As I thinke due vnto my good conciet M. Go. Then still I feare I shall your debter prooue Then I arrest you in the name of loue Not bale but present answere to my plea And in the Court of reason we will trie If that good thoughts should beleeue ielousie Phil. Why looke you mother this is long of you For Gods sake father harke why these effects Come still from womens malice part I pray Comes VVil and Hodge come all and helpe vs part them Father but heare me speake one word no more Franke Father but heare me speake the vse your will Phil. Crie peace betweene ye for