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A47483 A modest answer to Captain Smith's immodest memoirs of secret service and his remarks upon the D. of S---'s letter to the House of Lords humbly dedicated to the Right Honourable, the Lords spiritual and temporal in Parliament assembled by Ric. Kingston. Kingston, Richard, b. 1635?; Smith, Matthew, fl. 1696. Memoirs of secret service.; Smith, Matthew, fl. 1696. Remarks upon the D--. of S-----'s letter to the House of Lords concerning Captain Smyth. 1700 (1700) Wing K613; ESTC R28760 16,651 43

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Sell or Pawn for 6 Pence He pretends to an Acquaintance with Capt. Boys who was some time in the Counsels of the Jacobite Party I ask'd that Gentleman what Interest Capt. Smith had among them but he averr'd he never knew him He is safe in naming the rest of his pretended Correspondents among the Jacobeans for they are all either Dead or Banished England or there is no reason to doubt but they would confirm the Opinion of his being a most Notorious Romancer In short All his Pretences to do Service for the Government were but Tricks to supply a Boundless Extravagancy He was driven to his last Shift his Inventions were upon the Wrack how to subsist and his Relation to Sir William Parkins giving him a Colour to impose upon the Government he resolves to make the utmost Penny of it Trumps it up upon all Occasions and keeps up his Correspondence with the Duke by repeated Promises what he could and would do from that Relation while he did nothing but abuse and delay his Grace upon those Pretences which in truth had Colour enough to deceive any Man He makes no Pretences to be qualified for this Employment by vertue of his Understanding and Sincerity which is the Wisest Thing he ever discovered for all that have known him from his Birth till he set up for a Memoirer and Remarker are sensible he never carried any such things about him And I am not so much surprized to find him so early discarded by the D as I admire it was not done 12 Months sooner but this must be ascribed to his Plying the D. with large Promises in every Letter and his Grace's Unwillingness to neglect any Opportunity of serving the Government where there was such a plausible Pretence as Smith laid hold on to serve himself and abuse the D's Candor and Credulity by False Insinuations However do but Read all the D's Letters to our Captain See the Encouragements he gave him if he could do Service and if you don't discover in his Grace a continued Series of Uneasiness and Suspicion of the Author's Veracity as well he might from his Arguing instead of Informing which only was his Duty from his Stuffing his Letters with Impertinent Trash and Idle Stories instead of Real Services and his promising many Discoveries and at best giving but a Dark sight into any thing I will forfeit my Judgment I have already shew'd what Tricks have been play'd with his Letters and now think it material to add and I undertake to prove it by Credible Witnesses That before he delivered out any Copies of his Letters he knew from a Good Hand That his Original Letters sent to the D were lost And then what might not a Man of his Principles do to support his own Pretensions Another thing the Captain makes a Noise with is the Merits of his Service which can only be known by his Letters And tho' I have said enough to invalidate the whole by the Tricks that he has play'd with them and the Suspicion that lies upon them all by his knowing the Originals were lost yet let any unprejudiced Eye View them in the Dress they now appear in without the Sham and Trick of Language Ornament and Dress pretended Private Discourses Minutes Notes and Observations which have no other Authority to give them Credit but the empty Flourishes of the Poet 's Fruitful Brain to Earn the Sum of Threescore Pounds and the Naked Affirmation of a Profligate Wretch to gain Four Thousand Pounds a Year and a Dukedom by his Services and if he discovers any thing in them but Impertinent Chat Nauseous trifling with a Minister of State and dim Discoveries he has a clearer Eye-sight and Understanding than other Men dare pretend to This brings me to take a View of his Second Book Entituled Remarks upon the D. of S 's Letter to the House of Lords concerning Captain Smith being a Vindication of his Services c. A general Survey of these Remarks without Animadverting upon particular Instances is enough to Nauseate any Modest Reader for in no one Line have they treated that Truly Great Person like a Gentleman for which the Infamous Poet is as much to be scorn'd as the Malicious Captain and their Supporters and Managers Every Page is so besmeered with Sordid Clownery Saucy Language and Impudent Reflections that would shame any Pen tho' made of Brass or any Men but such a Couple of Contemptible Wretches as have club'd their Noddles to render themselves Ridiculous and Punishable There is too much in these Remarks to be confuted almost every Line may be disproved or ought to be Reprehended they are well nigh Bursting with Stinging Wind such as the Hackney Jade Pegasus le ts fly when he is too hard Girt upon a full Belly They are nothing but Idle and Impertinent Repetitions of his Memoirs which being answer'd already I might have slighted for that reason but since Mr. Brown after all his seeming Penitential Sorrow crying Peccavi and begging Pardon for his first Offence in employing his Pen to so Base a Purpose has aggravated his Crime by relapsing into his former Faults and Follies which no Body will wonder at that knows his Character give me leave to guess at the Occasion of it and give them both a short Answer Our Hackney Imp of Parnassus that all the Vacation stands at Livery to be Ridden by every Malicious Fop being extreamly out of Sorts as it often happens by his Idleness and Debauchery and reduced to the true State of a Heathen Philosopher The Riding-Coat that Smith gave him when they were Memoiring being wore Thredbare and his whole Man calling for Amendments for fear of falling into the Rag-Man's Hands for want of Reparations he once more to his Shame engages with Smith and all on a sudden Tom Brown appears New Rig'd from Stem to Stern and immediately after out comes these Remarks to acquaint the Town who was the Author of them The Captain puts his Name to the Pamphlet and 't is flourish'd with a Quotation out of Virgil. I cannot but wonder at his Confidence in pauming himself upon the World for a Man of Learning when he is so Notoriously known to be one of the greatest Dunces in Nature who if he was to Fast till he could Construe so many Words in Latin or Write any three Lines in the whole Remarks would certainly Die of Hunger But he has so long accustomed himself to claim the Honour of Services he never did that it 's now grown into a Habit and he cannot leave it Tho' by his good Favour it lays an indelible Blot upon his Reputation For he that for nothing has Forehead enough to own a Book that not one Line of it his own What will he not do when Four Thousand Pounds a Year and a Considerable Title is to be the Purchase of his Leasing I confess the Remarks are worded to the best Advantage of so ill a Cause The Poet has shew'd his great
Abilities in the Black Art of Scandal and tricking up other Peoples Malice into a gaudy Dress of Words to delude the Vulgar Readers into a good Opinion of what he is advancing How easie a Matter this is for a Man of Parts to do that gives himself a Loose into the Common Place of Railery without confining himself to the Laws of Truth or the Rules of Decency and Good Manners is very intelligible to Men of Sence They both abhor the Practice and make allowance for it while the meaner sort are captivated by the Stile and led Blindfold into Error I shall therefore disappoint the latter and I hope oblige the former by answering Matter of Fact only without being at the trouble to remove the Rubbish and Trumpery that encloses it The Preface acquaints us how provoking a thing it is to a Man of any Spirit to be treated with Contempt which I suppose is no new thing to him and he has no reason to be in such a Chafe or Passion about it since he never was nor deserved to be treated otherwise He is ambitious you see all along of a Considerable Title and yet is angry that his Adversaries have found a fit one for him viz. Fool or Madman tho others are of opinion he has so great an Alloy of the former in his Constitution that he is in no danger of falling under the denomination of the latter Nor will they allow it conferr'd upon him by the Malice of his Enemies since it has been the whole study of his Life to acquire the Title They are pleas'd as a Specimen of their Good Manners to join Quality with Insolence which is an Argument the Dung-Hill and the Tann-Fat lay too near both their Fathers Doors for either of them to pretend to be Gentlemen How might I expatiate on so fruitful a Subject but I hate to be thought a Trifler He runs on with the old story of Stifling and Deprecicating his Services which methinks 't is now high time to give over since with all the Interest he has with a Party to assist him he could never persuade any body to believe that he has done any Service but what he has been very well paid for and his bold demanding and threatning for more has made him slighted and despised by every body His Insolent behaviour at Kensington caused him to be discharged the Court. Tho he gave away some hundreds of his Books among the Honourable the House of Commons he could not find one Member that would deliver his Petition to the House He has addrest to the Right Honourable the House of Peers and their Lordships have commanded his Book of Remarks to be burnt by the Hand of the Common Hangman Whither will he go next Are not the King Lords nor Commons Able to Judge of the Merits of his Service Had he Wit to his Malice and Power to his Venom he would set the Kingdom in a Flame I will next proceed to his Grievances and the First that presents it self is a Complaint That he was taken up by a Messenger when the Plot was warm and this he construes as a Design upon his Person and Papers when any thing besides himself would have known that it was to comply with his Request of being concealed that they did it tho they would not trust him with the Reason why they did it Had he any harder measure than others under his Circumstances Was not Sir Thomas Pendergarst and Mr. La Rue that were the First Discoverers of the Assassination-Plot taken up and committed Was not Mr. Fisher and Mr. Grimes that knew more of the Plot than the Captain can honestly pretend to taken up by Messengers and kept sometime Prisoners in their Houses Is there not many Reasons to be given for these Prudent Proceedings Well! in some colder Clymate 't is possible our Doughty Captain may come to great Military Preferment but certainly his Head is not long enough to make a States-man In his next Complaint he Fights in the Dark and gives us an unaccountable Stretch of his Talent Some Body he leaves the Reader to Guess who he says supprest Sir William Parkin's Petition which after the ineffectual Application of the House of Commons pray observe it I had says he the Fortune to prevail with him to make What an incredible Story have we here That after the Honourable Members of the House of Commons that visited Sir William in Newgate could not prevail with him to make a Confession yet our Captain that was his utter Aversion effected it Can any Man in his Right Mind imagine that Sir William Parkins was so void of Sense to believe that Smith could more effectually prevail with the King to Pardon him than a Whole House of Commons Away Captain This Remark lies so Wide and Broad 't is impossible to swallow it without Choaking Farther he says The Lady Parkins went to Kensington to give a Petition to his Grace the the D. of N. to deliver to His Majesty His Grace had prepared the King to Receive it was expected the D. of N. sent to enquire for the Lady Parkins she was not to be found yet a certain Person without so much as a Letter to Guess at his Name or Quality found her when no body else could and sent the Lady away full of Sorrow and Despair assuring her it would not be received There is little Reason to believe the Lady would take her Answer from any Person but the D. of N. who had promised to deliver it nor that any Certain Person would suppress a Petition that His Majesty expected When Smith told this Story first he laid the Blame upon the Lady for not coming to Kensington till the Council was up and gone and the King retir'd into His Bedchamber tho now he lays it upon a Certain Person His Invention is so Barren and he is at so great a Loss for New Matter that he is forced to harp upon the same Strings in his Remarks that he had before almost fretted to pieces by his nauseous Repetitions in his Memoirs His Interest in Hewet and Sir William Parkins is still the Burden of the Song and yet neither in his former nor latter Book takes he any Notice that Hewet has deny'd it upon Oath and that Sir William has branded him with a Hard Name and discharged the whole Party from trusting him with the Knowledge of their Matters for tho he was his Wifes Relation he knew him too well to repose any Confidence in him To magnifie his own Intelligence through both his Books he undervalues the discovery of Sir Thomas Pendergarst and Mr. La Rue tho the whole Nation is satisfied with their Candor and Sincerity in the whole Affair Upon this Head he has so remarkable a piece of Effrontery that I cannot pass it over without admiring at his Confidence in setting up himself for a common Calumniator and one that never Starts in publishing the most Notorious Falshoods in the World