Selected quad for the lemma: cause_n
Text snippets containing the quad
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A36978
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The fool turn'd critick a comedy : as it was acted at the Theatre-Royall, by His Majesties servants / by T.D. ...
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D'Urfey, Thomas, 1653-1723.
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1678
(1678)
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Wing D2728; ESTC R2353
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47,714
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65
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with one to fright you more you have small reason to hope otherwise if I should look severely into your Life Ber. My Life I warrant you think me Inconstant Fye Madam discard such mean suppositions But if I were false how can you complaine knowing how you have tortured me by your favouring Franck Amorous Pen. I 'le not dispute it now though I know something something perhaps you did intend to hide your Lucia's discovered Sir Lord how you men are deceived when imagining to hide your Mistresses you most disclose ' em Ber. Well I do confess But consider Madam it was your severity was the Cause together with my Constitution which cannot subsist without a Helper Pen. I have consider'd on 't and because you shall not say I am too rigorous I am content to take that for an excuse more especially because you say you have laid a Plot to ensnare that inconstant Fellow but are you sure he will marry her Ber. I am sure the Plot is well laid and he is of that rashy heedless nature that 't is a thousand to one he scapes it not Pen. As for the other Fop the Fool turn'd Critick his Game lyes another way and perhaps at last neither of 'em will have cause to boast of too good Fortune But let us go in and be sure you seek to please my Father who is now at a great difference with old Winelove about the Estate he means to give his Son loose no time it may be this minute was ordained to make us happy Ber. Madam you have turtor'd me Exeunt Scene II. Enter Smallwit Solus Small I am scarce recovered of my Bruises yet this Iron-Fisted Rascal has so maul'd me If I but think of a Battoon I tremble and a Sword is more dreadful to me then an Execution to a Banckrupt 'T is very hard yet each man has his destiny why may not a beating be as natural to me as to another Man I was once a Servitor in a Colledge and was beaten through my office very often But that Bernard now I stand on the brinck of preferment should do this to me is insufferable and I will be revenged I heard of an appointment betwixt him and Penelope which I will streight disclose to her Father and by that means frustrate his designes this is one way to plague him and I 'le about it presently Exit Scene III. Hall Enter Old Wine and Sir Formall Sir For. Not a Cross more Sir I have told you the utmost you know my way and how fixt my resolves are my Daughters my Daughter but my Mony 's my Wife Sir two thousand Pounds I 'le give her if you expect more you are deceived I never did intend it Old Win. Then let me tell you Sir I scorn your offer two thousand Pounds a Portion for a Pedlar my Son Sir shall be Landed 500 Pound a year it may be more besides his Breeding which put into Ballance makes a thousand a Fortune not to be bestowed upon so Mean a person as your Daughter but only my good nature Sir For. How Sir Mean Old Wine I said it Sir and once propound that if it be a Match you shall bestow three thousand Pounds at the day of Marriage and your Mannor of Broughton in Essex at the Birth of her first Child Sir For. But suppose Sir she has no Children Old Wine How Sir no Children ha ha ha my Tim no Children was ever such a doubt made why Sir he has stockt all the Parishes about us with his off-spring already there 's never a Mumper in Essex but has one of 'em at her back nay they are so numerous that you may 'em at four pence half-penny a piece and a good penny worth too No Children quoth he alas Sir he has been tryed in that long ago Sir For. I I Sir so has my Daughter been tryed too Sir but you 'l find it not so easie to propagate here as in the Country Old Win. No your reason Sir Sir For. Why Sir our Air is not so nourishing Besides take this from me one that has known the City Complexions as well as the Country you spoiled your Son when you permitted him to be a man of the Town Old Win. Pish. Sir For. Believe me you did pray tell me when did you ever know a Critick a man of Mode as they call 'em get Children never Ods Bobs Sir they cannot do 't why all the Spirit they have is infused with Pottag Langoone and Lobsters no natural Causes to produce Effects a sort of dry unsound wretched Fellows that can get nothing but Claps nor that neither but that 't is hereditary and entayled from one Generation to another Old Win. Sir Formall think not by this Ribble Rabble this discourse of nothing to put me out of conceit with my Son I know Sir he is Young Airy and Lusty and as I said before Sir a true Winelove one that can choose a Doxy with Discretion what doubt my own Flesh and Blood not I ' igad when I was a young man I durst have lookt a woman in the Face my self as well as some that were fatter but let that pass my Tim get no Children ha ha ha Sir For. I 'le stand to what I 've said Sir Old Win. Sir you must not Sir I shall grow angry then troth I shall very angry and 't will be dangerous to urge it farther Sir For. I slight your anger Sir and to persevere I tell you once more what I said is true Old Win. What that my Son can get no Children Sir For. No Sir that deserves that name since you provoke me he a thing made up of Froth and Vanity Old Wine Old man do not provoke me I say do not for by the Reverend Beard of Iohn a Gaunt I have knockt down as tall a Fellow in my time but no more I say do not provoke me Sir For. Provoke thee Dotard I defy thee and thy Son too his Cringes and his Tricks let him from henceforth forbear my house a Critick a Fool. Old Win. Fool in your Face Sir Coxcomb s'bud were it in another place I 'd cramb that notion down your throat again call the greatest Wit i th' Nation Fool ha ha ha Sir For. A Wit why did'st ever know a right Critick a Wit no they are Fools originally and usurp the name of Critick only to get reputation among some few pretenders this is in brief my opinion of ' em Old Win. I shall refine your opinion presently for I can forbear no longer take that Sir and the Lye Strikes him Sir For. That Sir 't was home I confess but I 'le not be behind hand with you They Cuff one another and pull off both Hats and Perewigs Enter Smallwit Small Hey day what work 's here Sir Formall Mr. Winelove for Heavens sake what do you mean old Friends and quarrel thus come come forbear parts 'em Sir For. A Drunken Dotard Old Win. A Testy Cuckold Sir For. Hah
but the meer dregs of fancy you may believe me Madam Pen. Sir I 'le not presume to question it or doubt the truth of what you say though I confess it seems a little strange Tim. I grant it may Madam and by the way let me tell you another would not have found it out I have I thank my stars some certain guifts which others want 't is as Providence decree's every one has his Talent Pen. But not alike I hope Sir Tim. No Madam I hope to see that the truth is I love to be free and perhaps sityrical in my opinion and I doubt not but you are acquainted with the mode and know what becomes a Gentleman for faith should we not sometimes dive into the secrets of Wit and reprove mistakes these Rascally Poets would grow insolent there would be no living for 'em we should be so perpetually tormented with Lampoons but ' gad I cramp the Rascals Pen. Would thou wert crampt and gag'd so I were rid of thee Tim. You 'd laugh to see how afraid they are of me to'ther day Madam I went to see a Play and sitting 'mongst the rest in the Wits Corner I know not what but somewhat I mislik't and raised a hiss which presently was seconded by all the Wits But to see the poor fellow the Poet peep out between the Scenes and shake his empty head to see his Ten Months labour so rewarded would have made you die with Laughter ha ha ha Small In this Madam you rather condemn my Judgment then excuse your want of merit But give me leave to tell you if I have any Wit you are a woman of great parts Do you see that Gentleman Bett. Yes Sir methinks a man of Excellent good Parts Small He is so yet this this Modish Gallant that 's now so brisk and ayrie did I within these three dayes draw out of a lump of ignorance a wretched lump a thing of nothing mould stampt and fram'd him as you see and of a Coxcomb changd'd him to a Courtier a Modish fellow and the Son of Fortune Sir your Verses you forget that Tim. Hush I warrant thee Madam to let you see that what I speak is Reason you shall your self be judge I have a Copy of Verses here given me by one of the Poets who desir'd my opinion of 'em ah here they are Madam I 'le read 'em to you hum 't is an Encomium on his Mistress Best of thy Sex and brighter then the Moon At her full Glory or the Sun at Noon Sweet as a bed of Roses far above All thâ—t ever yet pretend to Love For thou appear'st as if thou would perswade Men to believe for thee Love first was made Or that the bliss of nature should contest With the delightful Lodging of thy breast Zealots release the blessings heapt above Of lasting Raptures and immortal Love But Iove and all his Crowd of joyes should be Dispis'd and slighted for a tast of thee This and a great deal more such stuffe is here such much ' gad I am e'en sick to read it Pen. Methinks they are very well Sir only a little too full of rapture and flattery but that may be born withall Tim. Well Madam I see your design ha ha ha to bantor the poor fellow but ' twon't do what answer do you think I made what de' e think I did with 'em Pen. Why I suppose Sir you spoke indifferently and the less critically because you intended to encourage him Tim. Encourage him ' dsdeath encourage a Poet I 'de sooner do 't to a Cutpurse and more good I shall get by him no Madam I damn'd it damn'd it to the Center Pen. But Sir you had no reason for 't the verses did not deserve it Tim. Pish that 's no matter it quell'd the Rascalls hopes why should I have encouraged him and prais'd what he had writ 't is ten to one within this twelve months he would have writ a Play and made a Character of me but ' gad I dash't his hopes his Muse and he will hardly be reconcil'd this month through the fright I put him in Pen. Well this is the most intollerable Fop that ever I saw there 's no enduring him Aside Sir For. And let me have that Mannor too incerted as a Covenant for repairs and fail not on 't tomorrow Exit Lawyer Pray Sir give your excuse 't is only a little parcel of Land which I determine for my Daughters Joynture but come le ts in to Dinner by this time 't is ready and once more welcome to my house Small I am too poor in thanks Whispers Tim. Tim. I am too poor in thanks Sir softly you Rogue Sir For. Ah not poor in any thing good Mr. Winelove 'faith I do not like it but come no Ceremony I beseech you but to Dinner Exeunt SCENE III. Landskip Enter Bernard and Frank to Fight Ber. The cause of my quarrel Sir you cannot be ignorant of knowing who I am and how you have betrayed me Fran. My answer lyes in this not in my words come come you are too tedious Ber. O this shews your courage Sir but believe you shall have sighting work enough e're I kill yee as certainly I shall before we part Frank. Why then the Surgeon 's paid Sir come we lose time then once more at you Sir Enter Winelove Senior Old Wine How now what 's here Swords drawn and Fighting ah that my Tim. were here now to put in for a third man but I 'le try what I can do to part 'em Gentlemen hold hold you 've fought enough hold hold I say Draws and goes to part ' em Fran. Hark Reverend Sir 't will become your gravity to retire a while and not disturb us least that portly shape of yours be discommoded pox on him h 'as given me another thinking while Old Wine Faith he sayes true I was too rash well Gentlemen since you will have it so fight it out bravely and I 'le stand by and see fair play on both sides Fran. You see your fortune Sir Ber. is disarmed Ber. Yes and contemn'd it and my life too seeing 't is at thy mercy Fran. You will do well to cherish it for all that Sir Old Wine A brave fellow this and I 'le warrant a right Courtier he has the true way on 't now would I give twenty pound my Tim. were here Ber. Ah Sir to insult I know is Customary Fran. To insult to let thee see how far I am from it there there 's thy Sword again and give me thy hand I could wish I could as easily give back thy Mistress but our Stars would have it otherwise thou knowest we can't appoint our own destinies besides thou hast another Mistress and two at once is too much in reason for any one man Ber. 'T is true I have another Mistress perhaps fairer then 'tother whom I intend to visit as soon as this hurt Arm is drest but what excuses can you bring from that