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ID	Title	Author	Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication)	STC	Words	Pages
A25360	The copie of a barons court newly translated by whats-you-call-him, clerk to the same.	Anderson, Patrick, 1575-1624.	1680 (1680)	Wing A3099; ESTC R27647	7,268	15

THE COPIE OF A BARONS COURT Newly translated by WHATS-YOV-CALL-HIM Clerk to the same Printed at Helicon beside Parnassus and are to be sold in CALEDONIA ADVERTISEMENT THE Publisher of the following Poem is credibly inform'd that the Author thereof was the learned and facetious Mr. Patrick Anderson Dr. of Medecine Who besides his other Works both Historical and Physical wrote a Book in latine 8 vo printed Edinb 1635. intituled Grana Angelica concerning the Nature and Use of these famous Pills which are now commonly sold by the Name of Anderson's Pills BARON BAILY OFFICER * Bail GOD save your worship * Bar. Welcom Baily How Does Kate my Aunt and Will my God-son do What News abroad How sells the Bear I pray * Bail The Prices rises ev'ry Market Day * Bar. Good News y faith Come Sirra fill some Ale * Offic. He loves the Tongue that tells him such a Tale. * Bar. Good Baillie pull him home It 's white I think You are not dry or loves not well our Drink * Bail O Sir it 's strong * Bar. And yet our Browster says It is a fault comportable always And this I think my self For now I see Wine is a Stranger unto each Degree * Off. And long may it be so For We could want it * Bail You speak the Truth I think the Laird will grant it But O! the tender Stomachs are opprest With Cruditys and Mine among the rest * Bar. Drink Aquavitae Baily that 's no fault The Sp'rit of Drink is now confin'd in Malt. As for my self I can as well be merry With the Bear-Pickle as the Spanish Berry * Bail But let me interrupt your Worship Why Did Iack your Foot Man call me hastily * Bar. Some Disappointments makes me male-content I cannot live and live not on my ●ent My Court and Jurisdiction is as free As any not exceeding my Degree And you Sir Bailly know that I can do it My old Infestments lead me justly to it * Bail Not to offend your Worship in Effect I dare be bold it is your own Neglect Your Predecessors of good Memory Did manage Maters with Audacity Your Power Sir is not a whit abreg'd Nor yet was theirs more amply priveleg'd * Bar. You 're right indeed And I forsooth resent it And possibly shall make some to repent it * Bail Sir Hold a COVRT that we may clearly see Th'alledg'd Abuses of the Barony Go Officer and warn the Tenents in And where VVe ended let Us now begin If with your VVorships Pleasure it could rest To countenance the Court your self 't were best * Bar. Go to Sir Baily for I must confess You are sufficient for the Bussiness I 'le to the Hunting Hey Dogs Hey Dogs Hey Great pity were to losse so brave a Day BAILY CHAMBERLAIN CLERK † Ch. GOod morrow Baily † Bail You 're the Trout I wish'd If for a great one I had all Day fish'd Whence came you last If asked it may be † Chamb. From compassing my Masters Baronie † Bail I cry for Mercy I am thick of Hearing † Chamb. Sir You may mend it by a double Spearing † Bail From Conquessing I thought your Speech had been † Cham. Play on your Friends † Bail Yet such Play has been seen But to the Purpose Is your Book about you † Chamb. A Psalm-Book Sir Lo there is one what doubt you The Moon is at the Full. † Bail So may some say The Laird was like for to go mad the Day It is your Book Man of Recepts I mean † Chamb. Excuse Me Sir it was by me mista'ne What needs a Book of that Kind or Condition I have Discharges of my Intromission † Bail That 's not the Matter I would only see The Count of Rest if any Rests there be The Laird complains and hath some cause I trow At Whitsunday his VVorship hath ado And yet his Mails and Dutys come not in Till that the Kalends of the next year ●in This stains his Credit damnifies his State And this Abuse is bred but of the late † Chamb. The Roomes are rental'd to so high Avail The Tenents termly cannot pay their hail The bygone years you know Sir have been ill † Bail They do not so you 'll grant continue still † Chamb. I cannot help 't I poyn'd arrest remove And all I do is for the Lairds Behoove † Bail But give me leave he much condemns your Sleuth † Chamb. You jest I hope I pray Sir tell the Treuth ‖ Bail And adds this more for He envies your pelf Indeed He could be Chamberlain himself ‖ Chamb. Good CHAMBERLAIN y Faith Ev'n let him try If He can gain more by that Craft nor I. ‖ Bail Lend Him but twenty Pieces I 'le be plain Ye shall be Friends yet or the Morn again ‖ Chamb. He 's hungry But my self shall never fill him Pay my Advancements take my Office till him ‖ Clerk Ye 're Gentlemen of great Experience I humbly would intreat your Patience I wonder oft at one thing That 's to see Such Alterations in this poor Countrie This Gentleman whose Court We are to hold His Father conquest But this Man hath sold Yet at his Death he left his Living free And ten for one He keept in Familie Brave Gentlemen with double Horse and Boys He fill'd the Causey with compleet convoys His Son hath but a Foot-Man and a Page To whom he pays but little or no wage And if He rid● to any publick place His Train is packt up in a leathern Case ‖ Chamb. It 's good to have the Grace of God ye know But here I halt and let my Passion go ‖ Bail Good Chamberlain this Text you should refer For to be handled by the Minister VVe 'll go no higher Clerk but since you speer The cause of this great alteration here I will not undertake to tell you all But some that seems to be m●st principall This Gentleman of whom we now discourse For I have ever known him from his Nurse When that his Father yeelded up the Gh●st He was of Age but fifteen years at most Then he began to rattle and to reel And kick'd against the Colledge with his Heel Horse Hawks and Dogs with Guns and such Munition Began to get his Morning Repetition And thus he liv'd till he was twenty Year His Tutors found his Pastime was too dear They did resolve to send him unto France To learn to parle handle Armes and dance But what a Rank this rulelesse youth keept there VVill now be seen upon his son and heir He salted to the Rigs with Charges vain No Rain that falls can make them fresh again Lady Baily Chamberlain Clerk Officer ‖ Off. MADAM the Members of the Court are met All is not right the Chamberlain doth fret ‖ Lady Where are they now ‖ Off. below into the Hall ‖ Lady Incontinent I will go see them all ‖ Bail God save your Ladyship ‖ Lady And you Sir Baily The Laird ha●h won and you must pay

Laird to give him something down Yet notwithstanding he will play the Lown Call on the Tennents of old Whissel-bare How now I think I see none of them there Cause note them absent Windy-walls compear What are ye resting for the foresaid year * Tenn More nor our room can pay as you well ken If you exact't we are but herried men ‖ Bail I cannot let these crafty Villains pass I 'le tell you Clerk the story as it was The Laird that 's dead a Baron of good worth Whose Conscience did bear his Credit forth In all his Conquesses and in this too This Town I mean which they do labour now The same Companions did give up that day The Rental which they now refuse to pay Go Officer and poind them Man by Man I 'le meet their craft the best way that I can * Bar I 'm come again to see how matters falls * Bail VVe're at the Tennents of the Windie-walls * Tenn The Windie-walls a place and name most fit And so is seen on us poor men in it * Bar. I know your shifts so did my Father too ‖ Tenn VVe're in your will do what you list to do ‖ Bar. It 's notour that I lent you money here To pay your debts and pay a stronger Feet I 'm born to set you Land so that you pay But not to entertain you tho' I may ‖ Bail Call on the Tenents of the Over-town ‖ Ten. Here 's our Discharges Bailie Bail Lay them down They rest nothing indeed Bar. Go take them in And with the best Ale roundly pack their skin These are the Lads that I may lippen till Go to your Dinners Eat and drink your fill * Off. The rest Sir Bailie have Discharges too ‖ Bail That likes me well we have the less ado Unlaw the absents and see that ye poind The Tenents resting as you was enjoyn'd * Clerk Sir Bailie please you have not ended all There are some bills yet of complaint to call ‖ Bail Be short then Clerk I cannot stay say on * Clerk Iohn Dunkison against Iohn Davidson * Bail That Iohn Davidson he is a pakie Knave He doth molest us more than all the lave † Io. Da. I never had a pack in all my life But one I wasted wooing of my VVise. † Bail Your VVorship hears who can abide his mocks † Bar. Go Officer and put him in the Stocks ‖ Clerk As also Baily here poore Maggie Beans Upon Will Waggrels heavily compleans ‖ Off. That is a wonder ask at Sandy Sim For she did on●y love Iohn Dick and him ‖ Bail What is the matter Quickly Me●g say on ‖ Maggie Beans Will Waggrels is the man I plean upon He promisd me good Bear to sow indeed Yet he conceiv'd me sir with rotten seed Hold you that reason Baily ‖ Bail No It is a common cause none wi●l say so VVhat say you Will ‖ Will Waggr I swear by Saint Muff In all my Stack I had n● better stuff ‖ Bail VVithout all question you must pay her Loss ‖ W. Wag. I 'le do no less because I am her Goss. ‖ Lady Now for my Interest Baily I compeer VVe have a kid Thief to our webster heae A greater Knave lives not I think nor He Cause punish him and that exemplarly * Web●●er Baily Now for the love of God but hear Me. † Bail VVhat would you say Stand by let him come near me † Webst. It 's not so much for any Imputation The Lady hath unto my Occupation As for my Daughter who but went away Out of her service the Last Whitsunday VVho at her going when she crav'd her Fee The Lady lockt a gown up privily VVhich was into my Daughters Keeping so Her Fee thus poynded she got leave to go Judge you sir Baily for I cannot read If this be not a crying sin indeed * Bail If you be true I think Madam you wrong him * Lady I know as much sir Baily as would hang him † Bail Into this Ground he shall no longer sit Wherefore I warn you presently to flit † Webst. Must it be so for any thing I see My Bounty 's like unto my Daughters Fee † Off. Go get you gone in time if you be wise Lest you pass to the Knowledge of a Size † Bail To speak the truth good Servants now are Scant Their Fees likewise are grown exorbitant † Clerk It is no marvell sir tho it be so ‖ Bar. Tell me the reason Clerk before you go ‖ Clerk Where Barons wont to keep some four some three They snedded have such Superfluity One serves the Cure perhaps of little Valour The Laird his Jackman is the Ladys Tailor The Stewart Cook and Browster now are one All gallant Fellows to the warrs are gone In one mans person this pluralitie Makes men indeed to crave a larger Fee And Ladys Gentle-women as they call them A world of Gifts must now a Days befall them To sow to spin weave Pearline and knit shanks To page the Laird and win the Stewarts Thanks She must be rare in all these handy trads Cast off her Gown and syne go make the beds At all Occasions she must still be ready Or else she is not meet to serve my Lady † Bail Clerk by your Leave I 'le teach the Laird a Trick Requests you see instead of presse go thick Offer unto some Captain two or three Of Yeomen men within the Barony By Violence e're they aboord be brought They 'll rather stay and serve the Laird for nought † Ten. Baily Forsooth your Counsell ay was good An heavy Curse we give you to conclude † Bail Your VVorship will take you for Me I trow † Bar. Such Casualitys belong to you † Bail Sir I request you for the Clerk provide them † Clerk Nay rather sir betwixt you two divide them † Lady Clerks ay were Knaves Take up your books and gilt You fash the Laird your Dinner sir is spilt † Baron Up stay the Pleugh and let Us kill a Mouse I and the baily must have one Carouse Vivet post Funera VIRTVS FINIS