The Defence of Contraries Paradoxes against common opinion debated in forme of declamations in place of publike censure only to exercise yong wittes in difficult matters Wherein is no offence to Gods honour the estate of Princes or priuate mens honest actions but pleasant recreation to beguile the iniquity of time Translated out of French by A. M. one of the Messengers of her Maiesties Chamber Patere aut abstine Imprinted at London by Iohn Windeâ— for Simon Waterson 1593. To the King SIr after you had heard the censures of diuers learned Gentlemen on the seuerall Paradoxes which you pleased to propound and were therein as I imagined fully satisfied yet you would needes make triall of my meane iudgement in such matters and thervpon commanded me to set down mine opinion How simple soeuer they be doone they are and now in all humblenes presented to your Maiestie who doubtlesse will allow them gratious countenance because it was a taske imposed by your selfe and beside requireth labour and good wit to defend such contraries Let no manne thinke then that I or any other would be so sencelesse as to holde directly any of these vaine reasons but what for argumentes sake may be said that set I downe and no otherwise Your Highnesse knowes that the simplest conceit can maintaine It is better to be rich then poore better for a Woman to be faire then foule better for a man to be wise then a foole c. But to defend the contraries to these so farre as modestie and reason wil allow deserueth no hard coniecture among the learned because they are onely but exercise of wit to make proofe of a mans habilitie in such difficult occasions Cornelius Agrippa deserued good report for his Vanitas Scientiarum and I hope to passe the pikes with my Paradox'apologia how euer it fall out so your Maiesty buckler me with wonted fauour I am of Caesars mind Iactaest alea. Your Maiesties most humble subiect and seruaunt R. G. S. D. M. To the friendly Reader GEntle Reader euen as contrarie thinges compared one with another do giue the better euidence of their value and vertue so the truth of any matter whatsoeuer appeareth most cleerely when the different reasons against the same is equalled or neighboured therewith Beside whosoeuer woulde prepare a Knight to the field must first exercise himselfe in the most common and vulgare actes of Armes that cunning stratagems may seeme the lesse laboursome to him In like manner for him that woulde be a good Lawyer after he hath long listened at the barre he must aduenture to defend such a cause as they that are most imployed refuse to maintaine therby to make himselfe more apt and ready against common pleaders in ordinarie causes of processe For this intent I haue vndertaken in this book to debate on certaine matters which our Elders were wont to cal Paradoxes that is to say things contrary to most mens present opinions to the end that by such discourse as is helde in them opposed truth might appeare more cleere and apparant Likewise to exercise thy witte in proofe of such occasions as shall enforce thee to seeke diligentlie and laboriously for sound reasons proofes authorities histories and very darke or hidden memories Notwithstanding in this conceits I would not haue thee so much deceiued as that eyther my sayings or conclusions should make thee credit otherwise then common and sensible iudgement requireth and yet withall remember that diuersitie of things doth more comfort mens spirites then daily and continually to behold whatsoeuer is common and frequent to our iudgements Farewell For Pouertie Declamation 1. That it is better to be poore than Rich. COnsidering for what and against whome I am to speake in your presence I haue great occasion to feare and withal to request that credit and fauour shoulde haue no more meanes to blemish and obscure truth on your partes then may innocencie and simplicitie on my behalfe by bringing and conducting ye into the apparant light For minding to commend such things as are blamed and hated by most part of men it will be almost impossible for me to escape displeasure in the matters themselues which of each one and at all times haue beene loued esteemed and cherished aboued all other things But one thing that heerin giueth me some comfort is that among the wise and vertuous the number whereof are dailye without comparison farre lesse albeit much more esteemed then the bad and ignorant I shall escape vnblamed Wherefore I need not be dismaied if I find few protectors and friends for praising matters so good and honest when my aduersarie findeth greater aduantage for extolling such things as are euill and pernitious Nowe because the principall point of my cause consisteth in letting ye vnderstand the estate and valew of such matters as I stand for I desire ye to wish him who would turne ye from the knowledge heerof as pretending not to know that the well skilde in letters haue for the most part been poore and needie persons To cal to memorie the life of Valerius Publicola Menenius Agrippa as also the good Aristiâ—es who died all so poore as they were faine by almes to be buried Hee may remember likewise Epaminondas king of Thebes in whose rich houses Pallaces after so many faire victories and noble deedes of armes by him perfourmed was found but one poore straw-bed or base mattresse for to put in his Inuentory He may bee mindfull also of Paulus Aemillius Attillius Regulus Quintus Cincinnatus Cato Elius and Marcus Manlius whose noble hartes were more coÌ„manded by want then the height of worldly fortunes And who knowes not that loue of pouertie had such power ouer the good Abdolominus that to be ruled thereby hee refused the most riche and abounding kingdome of Sydonia he being elected by the people of the Countrey to be gouernor thereof Heerein appeareth sufficiently the great number of molestations and trauailes hidden vnder the vaine splendor of riches and the aboundance of honours hidden in the beautiful bosome of pouertie honors well knowne and vnderstood by the Poet Anacreon to whom it happened that hauing been two whole nights togither without any rest troubled with continuall deuisings how he might keepe from theeues and imploy the fiue talents of golde which Polycrates had giuen him at length to deliuer himselfe from this perpetuall molestation and returne to his former happinesse he brought backe the faire Talentes to the Tyrant with such wordes as one of his sorte might very well vse and notwithstanding hee was poore and indigent yet he refused those thinges so highly accounted on It is certaine that hee whoe hath alwaies liued poor in this world hath no greefe or sorrowe when he departeth from it for it is to bee considered that hee leaueth this earthlie life more contented and ioyfullie then he that by the meanes of riches hath therin endured long time of pleasure As for my selfe I neuer saw one that was poore indeed who
conclusion great folly in any Lord to be displeased or offended at the losse of his honors and liuings but rather with such fortunes he ought to reioice and be glad as being by so good occasion discharged of a burden so greeuous and heauy For this is my opinion that it were better for him to lose his worldly estate and dignitie then himselfe to be thereby lost and destroied for euer For Drinkers Declamation 7. That Drunkennesse is better than Sobrietie I Did heeretofore so breefely as I could deliuer vnto ye the great excellence and noble nature of wine that I might afterward inferre in what great honour reputation he ought to bee that especiallie loues it and longest continueth in delight thereof And albeit it seemeth to many a verie hard and laborious enterprise by reason of the abundance of good wordes and well conuaied language wherewith it is necessary they should bee thorowlie furnished in such a cause yet neuerthelesse will I boldly deliuer my opinion though I am vnfurnished of that diuine furie which ordinarilie worketh maruellous matters in our spirits whereof in this need might I receiue neuer so little fauour I should farre better satisfie your desires that are bent with attention to heare what I can say in this matter To proceed in our discourse I finde that the great vertue and excellence of wine hath beene of our elders so intirely known and approued that the highly esteemed Asclepiades did it so much honour as to couple the faculties and vertues thereof with them of the very cheefest Gods Which is agreeable with the consent of holy scripture whereby was autenticallie pronounced that wine was sent to men as by the especiall grace and immortall gift of God therewith oftentimes to refresh and recreate their spirites ouer much weakened and trauailed with long cares which they suffer continuallie in this worlde And heerewith altogither agreeth the opinion of good Homer in many places of his diuine Poesie And whosoeuer shal require of me greater proofe assurance I pray them to consider how that truth it selfe which is the thing that hath and yet at this day doth ouer-rule the greatest case in the world from all antiquitie holdeth principall consent with wine This is it which made place for the auncient prouerbe knowne sufficiently of euery one that in Wine is truth to be found wherein fooles children and drunken men are most accustomed to display it Wherefore I cannot sufficiently maruell at the great fault of learned Democritus who would sometimes maintaine that truth lodgeth her selfe in the bottome of a well this is greatly against the aduise and opinion of all the Greekes which euermore defended that her lodging continually was in VVine VVhereto very well consenteth Horace one of the most excellent Latine Poets who so soundly confirmed this matter in his learned verses made and composed by the helpe of this sweet liquor wherewith his stomach so plentifully abounded as hee coulde deliuer it backe againe forth at his eies To the same purpose the great Philosopher Plato would prooue and maintaine that wine was a very firme and sure foundation of mens spirites by the fauour and vertue whereof I may easilie coniecture that he founde the inuention of his goodly Ideas of his numbers and of his lawes so magnificent also that with the aide of this sweet drinke he spake so deepelie on the gratious argument of loue and likewise disposed his so well ordered Common-wealth VVithall he defended that the Muses flourished farre and neere in the very smell of Bacchus liquor and the Poet that drunke not profoundly therof could frame no verse excellent high-reaching or of good measure But leauing verse and Poesie let vs come to the kind drinkers of cleere water I would willingly demaund of them what good they can receiue in this world by vsing such an vnsauorie drinke In the first place how can a drinker of water well accomplishe housholde dutie when the naturall seede is more moist then any thing else and lesse strong for the procreation of children VVhich is the cause such people are alwaies weake feeble sicke and colour-lesse Likewise ye neuer sawe a drinker of water but was depriued of the true strength of all his members and hardie courage of hart He hath so little stomach so weake an appetite to digest his meates as commonly his life is short or else vnhealthfull For this cause it was that Saint Paule knowing Timothie albeit he was very yong in the strength of his age to take delight in drinking nothing but water admonished him to vse therewith a little wine if it were but for the onely health of his stomach and preuention of such diseases whereto by his complexion he was ouermuch subiect I await vpon this point the reply of some opiniatiue person who will tell me that such was not the aduise of Cistus Bullengerus nor yet of Nouellus Tricongius who dranke three measures of wine daily called Congii which contained three gallons and three pintes of our measure for which the Emperour Tiberius promoted him to honour and at the last made him Consull of Rome I againe replie on the contrarie that such was the opinion of the most wise and prudent king of all auncient memorie who saide in his Prouerbes that wine comforteth and refresheth the hartes of men likewise it is witnessed by the cōsent and testimonie of all Phisitians as the most singular remedy to chase greefe from the mind of man But if peraduenture some misbeleeuing humanist will not giue so much credit to the worde of so great a wise man as to the precepts of auncient Phisitians let him then consider and note well what at this day is to be found written by Hippocrates Galen Oribasus that wine serueth for a medicine to the cold and dulled sinewes giueth comfort to the weary and trauailed eies bestoweth an appetite on the tast-lesse stomach reioyceth the sad and afflicted spirites banisheth the imbecillity of the members giueth warmth to the body prouoketh vrine restraineth casting moueth sleepe taketh away ill digestion consumeth moist humors and maketh a kindly consent in the bodie Galen saith moreouer that wine greatly auaileth against wearisome complexion of age moueth the harts of men to force and prowesse recreateth naturall heate and giueth vigor to the spirits O how well did that good Lady Hecuba of whom Homer speaketh so honourablie knowe the pretious nature of wine when aboue all things she exhorted her valiant sonne Hector to cheere vp and reuiue his members wearied by continuall trauaile he endured in Armes with drinking of this diuine liquor The vertue whereof learned Pindarus knew well enough which made him a peerelesse heroycall Poet neuer could he haue accomplished his so highe and excellent Poeme by the vertue and goodnes of water but changing his stile into the great praise noble description of the vertue of wine the chiefest most notable men in the worlde made likewise such price and
gaine-said Beleeue mee that will but I holde as a matter doubtlesse that barrennesse is a most singular remedie against the piersing thornes of housholde life which by better meanes then this onely cannot be escaped or preuented And I beleeue for certainety that this would be a souereigne medicine against the priuate mallice of children except by good hap the diuine plant called Hermetiae could be gotten which whosoeuer vseth if Democritus be not a lyar not only shall engender honest children and well disposed but likewise very faire and gratious But I stand in doubt that this hearbe is lost for which of the skilfullest and moste dilligent herballists of our time that euer knewe it Or where is the hande that euer planted or gathered it If nothing can be found in Dioscorides in Crescentius or in Plateairus all good Apothecaries I thinke assuredly that this plant is altogither loste for our time seeing by good proofe we now beholde children so disobedient being lyars Tauerne hunters Gamesters swearers and for conclusion capitall enimies to all vertue Then doubt not but that good Democritus imagined this hearbe or dreamed on some other thing or else that he sawe and knew it after he had put out his owne eies to become therby the better Phylosopher I thus conclude then that a barren woman is much better then a fruitfull and let vs not bee carefull to haue such store of children seeing they haue doone harme to so manye persons As for my selfe I was sometime of contrary opinion but soone after I began to repent my selfe seeing that howe many children soeuer a man hath if they bee strong they are but so many seruants to princes if they be of spirite and knowe ought then make they slender account of their parents Some giue themselues to lawe and estate of Iustice others to lay holde on benefices others to followe new opinions which makes them oftentimes fall from aloft to a hotter place then willingly they would but if voluptuous pleasures once catch hold on them God knowes what honor they doe then to their linage It was my chance sometime to be in a Countrey thicke beset with barren mountaines where ordinarily was to be seene an infinite throng of Potters or drudging penny-getters whereof daily resorted to Venice a very great number so that when any child happened to be borne in that countrey the inhabitants woulde say as a common Prouerbe this is a young Asse for the Venetian If I should recite the latest comforts that children bring vs I must borrowe the words vsed in Fraunce that in their youth they befoâ— their fathers and mothers and when they are great they serue for nothing but to vexethem Consider what pleasure they bring to their parents when newes is heard of them that they haue beene abroad all night keeping il rule and then come home with their heades broken their armes shiuered in peeces their eares cut off Or if worde bee brought their fathers that they are in prison for some batterie or carried to the Gallies for some theft or that they haue gotten the soule discase or to make amends for their misbehauiour they haue beaten the seruants of the house broken perforce their fathers counting houses and then fledde away with all the money Then when they are returned againe if the good man but shewe himselfe agreeued answere is made he may be ashamed in so dooing I haue at the tongues ende an infinite number more of troubles to recount which issue from this goodly increase but for the present time I am content to omit them and now to vse silence to shunne offence as well of you as my selfe who with very ill will doe speake of such matters For the Exiled Declamation 9. That it is better to be banished than continue in Libertie IF such as are mightie and vertuous take no displeasure by being banished or sent into exile what need they feare that haue not so much to loose their harts not reaching so high nor their mindes addicted to so great enterprises A Philisopher a man of councell and prudence execised in affaires for the weale publique a Captaine or ruler of a Cittye may with some reason finde himselfe agreeued and sorry to bee sent away thorow report mallice or otherwise in that he exercised his authoritie to the benefite of euerie one and notwithstanding whatsoeuer paines he tooke yet he had therein delight and pleasure Neuerthelesse we finde left by the most expert and auncientest that they reputed exile to be an honour and contentment of their mindes Witnesse heereof is the honest answere of good Diogenes to him that reprooued him as with a matter ignominious because the Sinopians had banished him their countrey Quoth he this rather ought to returne far greater shame to thee that thou hast neuer byn forth of thy countrey resembling Oysters heerein that neuer dare come forth of their shelles but are continually beaten against stones and rocks As hurtfull in my opinion is the want of courage heerein and such as are ignorant of the great number of priuiledges which the banished haue in their exile whereof I will make some breâ—fe recitall to deliuer yee from occasion of maruel why many of our elders with good will made choise of exile and did so patiently endure the same First of all I may say that the banished giue no cause to others of falling into the sinne of enuie and during the time of their flight or absence very fewe are so bolde as to aske them mony for interest for each one knowes wel enough that poore exiles haue rather more neede of their helpe then hinderance Wherefore they may without blushing or vsing any other conscience borrowe the more easilie importuning disquieting them they haue to deale withall for vnder this aduantage of beeing out of theyr countrey and giuen to vnderstand that their goods are confiscated they may without any other oration require the aide and succour of euery one The banished finds himselfe not troubled with lodging strangers nor is indebted or bound to making of banquets to attire himselfe sumptuouslie beare Armes day and night to goe honourably accompanied companied for the credit of his house to shew himselfe braue and magnificent But he may well vaunt if so he thinke it good that when he was in his countrey he kept a table for all commers did wonders was rich and honourablie attired and had the traine of a braue Caualier after him Beside it will bee no dishonour to the man exiled if hee keepe not alwaies his promise or make deliuerie of that hee standes bounde for at the time by him prefixed And so it happens that many seeme satisfied by acknowledging their good turnes or promise of paiyng all if euer they may returne into their long desired Countrey And doubt not but many desire to pertake with this goodly priuiledge for sparing of expences and to deliuer themselues from very great troubles For the banished are not bound to keepe a
cheekes which seemed before like roses or shining Carbuncles conteyned nothing at all of their former and naturall beawty Like act did many wise well learned Damosels and holy virgines of the Primitiue church of whom especiall memory is made among Christians at this day What say ye of our Courtezans whom God by his especiall grace hauing not giuen the gift to bee the fairest of all other howe daily they cease not to inuent newe and strange manners of paintinges to counterfeit and disguise their age and first naturall shape with false haires Spanish white Pomâ—des Targon distilled waters braied drugs Oyles Powders and others follies too long to be recounted Oftentimes they shaue or burne their artificiall haire and then againe rub slick chafe and washe themselues only to seeme faire yet notwithstanding looke on them at night or in the morning and ye shall finde them more deformed than before but what ensueth soone after vppon this goodly industry Sinne Death and the anger of God Now then desire this feigned faire beawty whoe will and such as best thinke themselues worthy of it for I hold most firmely that it is better to hate flie it then to wish or affect it seeing nothing procedeth thereof but pride ouer-weening and vaine-glorie as also the moste mishapen horned creatures of the world Neuer was I of any other minde since the time I had power of reason to discerne and knowe truth from falshood but that deformed people deserued more praise then the beawtifull nor is it without cause or disagreeing with best sense considering such as are hard fauoured are commonly chast humble ingenious holy and haue euer some sweete appearance of most commendable grace But for them that boast of beautie I leaue to you the consideration of their behauiour which is often times so counterfeit as nothing can be saide to agree lesse with nature You shall see them of lofty countenance inconstant demeanour wandring lookes bold pace and like language nowe iudge at your pleasure what ye conceiue of them Conclude then will I that it is much better to be fowle than faire let no aduersary party intrude himselfe to replie against my speeches for I am both stoutlie determined and sufficientlie furnished to make him answer Had I no more but the testimony of Theophrastus who hath left vs in writing that bodily beawtye is nothing else but secret deceit And he that will not heere with content himselfe to him let me produce the aduise of Theocritus that beawty is an vnknown detriment Shall we then be so vnwise and sottish that euen at the first sight wee will pursue our owne euils and misfortunes more easilie embracing most perillous and damageable beawtie then deformitie ten times more auailing and profitable Would God that foolish minde might not abide in any one but rather that we all would hate what is so vnfit for vs from which commeth no goodnes or felicitie For the ignorant Declamation 3. That ignorance is better than knowledge THe more I thinke heereon the more I resolue and rest in this opinion that it is better to haue no knowledge in letters then to be expert or skilfull therein considering that such as haue consumed the more part of their age in the study of sciences haue in the ende repented themselues thereof and haue oftentimes found very euill successe thereby Valerius the great writing of Cicero who by good right deserued to be called not only the father of eloquence but euen the fountaine of all excellent lerning saith that in his latter years he conceiued such an hatred against letters as if they had beene the cause of his so many greefes and trauailes The Emperour Licinius Valentinianus Heraclides Licianus and Philonides of Malta haue openlie tearmed the skill in letters sometime to be a publique plague sometime a common poison to men And I haue found written in many good Authors that hee which couets knowledge couets vexation that from great experience ensueth oftentimes the greatest daunger Likewise it is certaine that all heresies as well ancient as moderne came from men of knowledge coÌ„trariwise that in people esteemed idiots or men of little knowledge haue beene vsuallye noted expresse signes of vertuous workes and good examples I highly commend the order among the Lucanes that no one professing capacity of letters or esteemed learned may obtaine any office or sit as a Magistrate in their parlement for they stande in feare least these lettered men by their great knowledge which makes them presume so much on their persons should trouble the good order and tranquillity of their common wealth Nor may this be reckoned but to very good purpose if we would well consider their insolencie who vnder shaddow of probation in a colledge would haue euery one stand bounden or be holding to them and thinke vnder colour of their faire allegations with interpretations God wots crooked enough sometime to ouerthrow the best naturall sence in the worlde and they of dutie ought to be aboue all onely heard and listened to Some of them there be that like to Mydas confound in their obstinate opinions and stiffe-necked conceits all things whatsoeuer they take in hand I cannot imagine to what ende are auaileable these men so highly learned who in honor of their followers are called fine polished curious and ingenious wits For if they might serue to gouerne any publique cause how many nations are seene without the knowledge of lawes imperiall or of Stoical or Peripatetical philosophy so to gouerne entertaine themselues that they out-goe al auncient CoÌ„mon weales To thinke that they may serue for the art military I dare boldly witnesse thus much vnto ye that I haue knowne more then one or two Gentlemen and captains wel lettered who by the helpe of their books haue laboured and busied themselues to point out a field leuy an armie put men in arraie and furnishe their squadrons which practise neuer returned them any honor For in truth in matter of warre we daily behold to happen incident nouelties and vnaccustomed stratagems which neuer before were registred or put in vse by the very skilfullest writers in times past Howe can wee then with reason affirme the bookes of Frontinus or Vegetius to be profitable for the art of warre In my conceit the good iudgment of a Captaine ioyned with his long vse and experience in these matters is sufficient enough for him without troubling him to turne ouer bookes of the Art militarie That these lettered people are meet to guide a house or gouerne a houshold which the Philosophers called Oeconomia howe can I agree thereto when at this day is to be noted both heere and elsewhere how many good and honest mothers of families who neuer in their liues studied in any Vniuersitie yet both haue and doe well order their houses guide their houshold yea aboue one or two hundred women for example whoe no displeasure to Aristotle or Xenophon may learnedly reade them
See if olde Tobias after he became blind did feare or loue God euer a iot the lesse then he did before It was my chance one day to reason and conferre priuately with certaine of mine acquaintance that were blind and I remember that one among the rest who sometime had beene a dealer in merchandise sware and auouched faithfully vnto mee that his blindnesse did no waie grieue or offend him but hee the more highly thanked God therefore Because quoth he my sight being taken away I haue likewise lost the offence of spirit whereinto I was drawn in diuers places I frequented And he iustified that since this good fortune befell him he trauailed about his affaires into Spaine where he found himself highly contented that he could not see the great vaunting Spaniard nor so manye Gentlemen by the dozens that for fiue shillings of yeerely rent cause themselues to be entituled my Lord such a one or must bee named Knights at the least Another tolde me that he caused himselfe to bee led into Germanie about certaine businesse hee had with the Foulcres but neuer did he esteeme himselfe so happy as that he could not behold the manifolde discords among the Lords of the Countrey so many deuisions so many garrisons of Spaniards with so many new imperiall cuts A third man told me that he had beene in France about traffique of merchandise where he not a little reioysed that he could not behold the infinite pleaders a Hydra of suites and quarrels the number-lesse throng of catchers and purloiners of benefices a world of false accusers and masqued people chaunging as often in opinions as they doe in habites and attyre Then breaking forth into a great laughter if quoth he I should heereafter passe into diuers places of Italie where I haue accustomablie haunted heeretofore first of all I shall no more see in Romania and Lombardy so many partialities of Guelfs Gibelines so many faire buildings ruined so many bewtifull and goodly Citties destroied by factions I shal no more see the grosse feeding Millanois the auaritious Pauoyan the mutinous Playsencian the fantasticall Parmesan the gracelesse Cremonian the slothful Mantuan nor the proud Ferraran I shall see no more the prating Florentine the dissembling Bolognian the glorious Lucane the vsuring Geneway nor the boasting Modenan And continuing his speech he said to mee beside that he imagined himselfe most happy that the yeer past hee had not beene at Rome no more to note the excessiue pompe of infinite curtezans who clad and decked in the habilements of Queenes triumph on the patrimony of the poore fisher Likewise no more to behold in Naples the troopes of Moores the bands of Ruffians bawds and brothels the great number of knights of the broch who al day doe nothing else but walke with their noses vppe in the wind like Plouers as well in the fieldes as the Cittye with white wands in their hands so expecting their Fortune to the great detriment of their followers Nor likewise to see in Sicilie those great managers of iron-wheeld Chariots who at the least word offered them will counterfeit the countenance of another chollericke God Mars as if they would fight with the sea the fishes Nor also to see so many fine dames ready to be bought for a little to passe the time awaye with Gentlemen In briefe this good blinde man told me so much and so sweetly lulled me asleep with his words as he well-neere made me of the minde to plucke foorth mine owne eies for the greefe I haue to beholde in Venice such a crowde of nice darlings in Padua such indiscreet lookes in Vincenza such beast-like demeanour in Treuiso such disordered libertie at Verona such frantike fury at Brescia such miserable auarice at Bergamo such scrupulous countenances with sundry such like qualities in other places Of force then must they that are cleere sighted behold such things as would enforce stones to starte out of the walles by the great despight and greefe they bring to men In witnesse of the holye man who being newly become blinde by chance happened to meet on the way with Arrius the father of heretiques and hearing among other talke that Arrius greeued for the accident befalne the good man the blinde father thus answered That it was needelesse for him to greeue so much because quoth hee for this blindnesse I highly thanke my God were it not in any other respect but only that I may not see thee that arte such a wicked enimie to God Saide not good Iob that hee had made this couenant with his eyes that they should content themselues with looking vppon one onely woman and not to gaze after any other Hence it is that the Prophet complained so much that his eies robbed frō beasts saying death entered into his heart by the windowes of the body which are the eies seruing to ouerthrow mans vnderstanding whereto suddenly they represent and deliuer without finding any hidden ambush all that they see and perceiue abroad And when they looke to vanity listen what the gentle Poet saith So soone as I had seene I was lost How happened it to the holy Psalmist when by the very seeing of Berseba he was so ouercome with burning and lasciuious regarding her as he wanted not much of incurring the daunger of death The Euangelist exhorteth vs to plucke forth our eyes if they doe scandalize of offend vs and when is it that they doe not both these to vs If I would seeke further for the benefites of the blinde I should finde an infinite number First they haue no need of spectacles wherewith to see small thinges nor of eye glasses otherwise called Bernacles when they trauell in windie weather In Winter they need not feare that the ouer-much whitenes of the snow will hurt or offende their sight They are free from subiection to eie medicines which they haue need to practise that are subiect to the eyes inflamation to the dilating or inlarging the apple of the eie to helpe the disease called Scotomie or when all things in view seeme to be rounde for illusions the eye-gellie the web pearle teares fistula rheume bleared eies and other such like diseases They haue no need to distill the waters of Fennell Sage Veruaine or Eye-bright They need no Aloes infused in wine or prepared Tuthie the whites of egges beaten in rose water nor pilles for the sight Wherfore I conclude that it is better to be blind then to see neuer so well because the blind sees nothing that afflicts or torments them where contrariwise the best sighted haue ten thousand obiects that molest and offendes them without pardon which doth purchase to them so many anguishes brings them into such dangerous extreames as they cannot well tell how to recouer themselues againe How much thinke ye will it displease a poore pilgrime when he shall see in trauailing on his iourney a great many hideous horrible serpents creeping vipers and such like beastes when he shall
heereof looke in holy writ if any one of the good Patriarches was euer a hunter We read somwhat of Caine Esau and Nemrod but this was the cause why Saint Augustine held that the said Esau was reckoned among the nūber of sinners According to which opinion the chase was forbidden to Preests in the Mileuitane councel albeit that decree at this day is little accoumpted of VVherfore thinke ye the fabulists feigned Acteon to be turned into a Hart as hee was chasing but only to let vs vnderstand that the ouer-earnest immeasureable loue borne to that exercise with the consuming of goods bestowed thereon makes the hunters in the ende not onely beastly but euen horned altogither likewise For proofe and example of this daungerous pleasure I am to tell ye that not manie daies past a maruellous faire yong Gentlewoman accoumpted of greatest trust where she dwelt so soon as her husband was risen early in the morning to goe on hunting receiued the iniurious companie of hir secret friend with whom she had greater pastime not forsaking her bedde then the hunter could haue in midst of the fieldes where he pursuing some horned beast himselfe without thinking thereon was at home turned into a masque of the same fashion Poor and miserable huntsmen let me in curtesie tell ye to what end serues this great affection ye beare to sauage beasts but to make ye continuallie haunt the woods and forrests where ye likewise become sauage and brutish ready oftentimes to breake your neckes in bushes or ditches Take example I pray ye by Viriatus he that by his prowesse conquered the kingdom of Portugall and consider how of a shepheard hee became a huntsman and from a huntsman to bee a robber and theese in the woods The youths that are tearmed nice-wantons will neuer yeeld to mee but that riches will serue to feast their Ladies to banquet daunse vault braue it reuel all the night and vse a thousand idle tricks of louers wherein we see the wealthy youthes of these daies most commonly to place their pleasure Heereto I woulde not willinglie agree were it not I imagine what is doone in secret to Ladies so that the loue of the very fairest or most queint and finest Gentlewoman is nothing else than a secret hidden death a close contriued poison incident to the spirite of the most sensible person that is And for this cause the Egyptians willing to shewe loue portraied in euery part were wont to paint a snare or halter signifiyng thereby as I thinke the miserable ende and condition whereto poore louers are daily led a passion too bitter to feele that suddenlie making his entrie into the harts of men departs againe very slow and slacklie whence springeth afterward infinite fountaines of teares sighes too piersing anguishes and trauailes insupportable This was it that moued Alcesimarchus Plautinus to maintaine that loue was the first inuenter of begging and the wallet by reason I thinke of the incredible molestings and torments which he loades his poore beggers withal being as often present with him as absent absent as well as present by means whereof he sends them in the end if they be not wel grounded the bagge for their first salutation and with a newe shirt or sheet on their shoulder to the hospitall by foure horses or bearers And that loue is of all torments the most cruell in the worlde it appeareth by the answere which Apolonius Thianeus made to the king of Babilon concerning the paine he desired to be inuented for punishing of an Eunuche who was found with a gentlewoman his affected fauorite Ye need not bethinke any greater persecution for him quoth the Philosopher then to let him liue for I make no doubt mighty king if the fire of loue go forwarde in him according as already it hath begun ye cannot make him feele and endure a more cruell passion nor may hee bee so tormented with what else ye can deuise He shall finde himselfe like the shippe tossed with contrary winds himselfe by his owne procurement euen like the foolish fly shall burne and consume in this flame he shal burne when he is as cold as yce he shall request and refuse in one selfe-same instant and desire as much to die as to liue In these wordes Thianeus erred not a iot if we could consider how greeuously Salomon was toiled and tormented with this loue till men beheld him transported from all naturall sence and made a meere preuaricatour of the holy law If we should seeke after this wicked money to take pleasure in many farmes countrey houses enuironed with trim gardens and buildings beset with cleere fountaines Thickets Arbours Vineyardes Meadowes earable land and other singularities I say such things make vs often poore by slothfulnes and vndoeth vs by ouer-lauishnesse inducing vs to greeuous offenses thorow many by-places and behauiours that are ouer secret That it is not vnlikely let vs remember what Cicero wrote to his friend Verres and we shall finde that when he would well discipher and portrait to life as it were the libidinous acts of a Gentleman that first of all he painted forth the walks and pleasures of countrey houses and faire places which accustomably he frequented as if such things were the ministers and helps of his very chiefest faults and misbehauiors For conclusion riches haue euer beene in so bad reputation that they haue beene called brambles flames and burning coales See how they make insolent people arrogant spightfull beastly negligent disdainfull fooles melancholie solitary and hateful yee shall not finde one alone but doubteth of their seruice as being baits and nourishments to al vnhappie works Hence it came that Pliny saide treasures hid by nature for our profit doe commonly stifle vs and plunge vs in the deapth of all mischances So was Zeno wont to say that the goodes of the worlde did more hurt then helpe which was the cause that made Crates the Thebane passing one day from his countrey of Athens to followe the studie of Philosophy to throw all the golde and siluer he had about him into the sea imagining that vertue and riches coulde neuer partake togither the same speeches were likewise confirmed by Bias Plato and manie other wise Philosophers But what need I spend time in producing so many witnesses when the holy mouth of the Creatour hath said that sooner shall the cable of a shippe enter the eie of a needle to sow withal then can a rich man into the kingdome of heauen He spake it who all his life time distributed and spent his faculties on the poore But the Pagan that inuented the fiction in truth very ingenious how Iupiter surprized with the maruellous and exceeding beauty of Danae conuerted himselfe into a shower of golde falling into the bosome and lap of the Lady by this meane to haue iouissance with his so long desired and purchased pray dooth he not plainely enough giue vs to vnderstand that gold is the most proper and conuenable thing
wherewith to oppugne and ouerthrowe the chastitie of innocent maidens Yet thinke not that gold serueth only as a custome to persecute the modesty of women withall but assure your selues beside that it is daily the cause of monstrous treasons slaughter and many other deedes of vile excesse which the breuity of time and feare of offending ye will not permit me to rehearse Wherefore I will conclude with the good Phylosopher Possidonius that riches is the cause of infinite euils which contrariwise cannot be so said or alleaged against our holy and well aduised pouertie of whom learned Seneca speaketh honourably sayeng That the naked by this speciall meane is out of danger of theeues and such as are free from money may in besieged places liue at ease not dreading the feare of enimies Much better then without comparison is franke pouertie then such slauish riches seeing from pouerty springeth infinite profits and commodities and from worldly goods proceedeth nothing but vnhappinesse For the hard-fauoured face or fowle Complexion Declamation 2. That it is better to be fowle than faire WHo knoweth not how much the deformitie of body and hard fauoured face is to bee esteemed principally in womē for in men it was neuer in so great request hath neuer considered how many amorous sparks is dayly to be seen vnder an il-fauoured countenance and badde composed body choicely hid and couered which in a faire face finely polished giues often occasion of ceaselesse flames and cruell passions But the strong and inuincible bulwarke which the fowle face not onely of olde but likewise in these times hath erected for it selfe will encounter the fires of loue that are so damageable Do ye beleeue Gentlemen if faire Helen the Greeke and the gentle Troian Sheepheard had beene hard fauored or counterfeit in personage that the Greekes would euer haue taken so much paine in pursuing them Nor had poore Troy endured such cruell ruine and destruction in longe description whereof so many skilfull wits were wearied and tyred And if we shall compare and vnite together the beawty of the mind with that of the body shall we not finde a greater number of deformed people to be more wise and ingenious then the faire and well fourmed Let Socrates be our witnesse whome the historians and auncient figures represent to be so ilfauoured as might be notwithstanding by the Oracle of Apollo he was acknowledged to be the wisest man of his time Phrigian Aesope the most excellent fabulist was in forme of bodie so strange and mishapen as the verie ougliest in his time in comparison of him might rightly bee resembled to Narcissus or Ganimede neuerthelesse as each one may read hee was most rich in vertues and in spirit beyond all other most excellent Of great deformitie were the Philosophers Zeno and Aristotle Empedocles fowlie composed and Galba a very ougly counterfeit neuerthelesse they al were of maruellous and sweet disposed spirit Could any impeach the deformity of Philopoemen who after hee was seene to be a good and hardie souldiour came he not to the dignity of a most valiant captaine and was hee not reuerenced among his people for his high excellent vertues Consider Gentlemen on such as are of faire and corpulent fashion and ye shall commonly finde them to be sicklie more weake and lesse able to trauaile more soft delicate and effeminate then the other kind of people Againe ye shall sildome times see it happen that in a beautifull body being of great excellence chastity agreeth in selfe-same likelihood because it is to bee kept with great difficultie being by so many sought after so earnestlie What shall we say of such whoe not contenting themselues with nature doe daily frame very great complaintes against her making no spare of their goods or labour to reforme with all endeuor what seemeth best to them for fashion of their bodies because they be not appropriate or agreeing with their curious appetites Of such fooles I demaund seeing nature the most carefull and discrete mother of all things hath giuen them what she thought meet and profitable in the form of their bodies for what cause they should be displeased with her or imagine her a bad bestower who would neuer giue them any part of that folly which is so vainely set by and esteemed of by euery one Nature giues not to her friendes the things that may quickly be wasted by sicknesse or ouerthrowne by the course of age therefore true liberalitie is knowne by the firme and long continuance of the gift bestowen vpon any one and what see ye of lesse permanence then beawty Consider how it hath headlong throwne downe yong people into secret greefes and perillous daungers and allured them to such hatefull sins as right happie might he count himselfe that coulde escape them with his honor vnstained Contrariwise note the good and profit ensuing by deformitie when all they in generall that of olde time haue beene yet at this day are studious in chastitie doe openly confesse as nothing hath like force in them to tame and check the pricks of the flesh neither long watchings greeuous disciplines or continuall fastinges as one only looke vpon an il-fauoured and counterfeit person Hence ensueth that which is vsed as a common prouerbe concerning a very fowle deformed woman that shee serueth as a good receipt and soueraigne remedy against fleshly tentations O sacred and pretious deformity deerly loued of chastitie free from all scandalous daungers a firme rampart against all amorous assaults I perceiue that by thy meanes company keeping is the easier to bee allowed for thou takest from them all greefes annoiances chasing from thy societie all wicked suspitions as a very speciall remedy against desperate iealousie O that I coulde finde wordes worthy thy praises and deserts whence proceedeth infinit good and treasure which with great shame hath beene by the ignorant despised and blamed O what affection I haue to perswade my friends how they shoulde know henceforth to adorne and embelish themselues with the beawtie that for euer endureth and not to depart therewith from among vs either drinking eating waking sleeping or breathing I meane that beawtie that keepes vs companye euen to our graue and leaues vs not till the latest gaspe that which we may truely call our owne no way due or attributable to our parents Gaine-say me who shal I will rest my selfe on this opinion that much better is it to be adorned with such a colour then to trust or repose only in borrowed corporall beauty which so easilie corrupteth euen by the least touch of any feuer that may come vpon vs. I remember a yong maiden of Perigourd who perceiuing her beauty to be a very great suspitious and capitall enimie to her good fame and that in regard thereof she was daily required and solicited by many yong yoonkers her owne selfe with a rasour or some piece of siluer made sharpe for the purpose so disfigured her faire face that her two
a Lecture and turne them confusedly out of theyr houshold catalogue so good and right a course doe they carry in these causes And I doe not doubt but if those Philosophers or Oeconomikes of times past were at this daie present to see how these huswiues gouerne and content each one themselues would auouch that they might learne of them new precepts instructions that better would become their faire bookes and volumes May it please ye that I shew ye how these expert fellowes in letters euen as by another Cyrces are transformed and depriued of the greater part of their naturall power Finde me out a yong man lustie and brauely disposed of person affable endued and garnished with all such things as are best beseeming his age let him follow the studie of letters ye shall find him in short time vnlusty louttish vnapt to al things and as little while for conference can he tarry from his booke as can the fish out of the water I pray ye note the lookes of poore Students how sad they are melancholy grim dreadfull languishing humorous and heauie in breefe the very neerest portrait to a deadly counterfeit or a long dried anatomie And as for their complexions they are the hardest in choise that can bee amongst men euer they are suspitious of some euill so bad they are thēselues proud presumptuous despising all honest companies mortall enimies to the so noble sweete sexe feminine vaunters to the vttermost and frantique inuenters of tales trifles inuentions Which Saint Paule diuinely foreseeing admonished vs not to be wise but soberly minded fearing least by ouer-plunging our selues in the depth of humane doctrines we should fall into farre greater perils dangers therefore he counsels vs not to seeke after high and difficult matters but to abide in feare without passing the bounds of obedience Likewise did not he shew himselfe to haue lefte and despised all litterature and worldly knowledge after hee had gotten the true knowledge of GOD when he said nothing was more to be desired then well to know his maister crucified That he was not come to preach garnished with humane wisdome or rhethoricall cunning And that the wisdome of this world was nothing else but follie before God And that it did nothing else but puffe vppe the heartes of men And that whosoeuer sought after things ouer high should finde themselues shut quite out of glorie And these words agree with the saying of Ecclesiasticus that wee should seeke after nothing which surmounteth the capacity of our spirit To proue the same hath not God menaced by the mouth of his Prophet to destroy the wisedome of the wise and to reproue the prudence of the skilfull What shall let me from beleeuing that the wisedome of this world was the inuention of the enimy whom our elders called Daemon seeing the word Daemon signifieth wise and learned This was hee that promised to poore Adam so easie to be deceiued the knowledge of good and euill if he woulde but taste of the fruit which God had forbidden him Plato rehearseth to this purpose that an euill spirit named Theudas was the first inuenter of Sciences hence it followeth as I thinke that we see so fewe learned men but some of them are wicked seditious enuying the glory one of another lurking deceiuers and cruell reuengers which though it be not doone by armes in field like men yet haue they the meanes of performing the same in Comedies beastly Satyres too sharpe and biting verses cruell Iambicks furious Epigrames I woulde willinglie demaund of such as make doubt of the disprofit and slender value of letters if they were of such price and esteeme as they make them to be our great Lords who are as euery one perceiueth very curious of the most faire and pretious things in the worlde woulde they endure such dearth in their houses Why doth not learning make them so rich magnificent as other temporal goods doe And were it so greatly profitable for youth as also such an honest recreation for age I am ashamed to see that in our great Citties and Townes the professors thereof goe from house to house like such as begge bread with empty wallets For in truth this is the end of letters followers and fauourers in these vnhappy and accursed times not onely to bee beggers but beyond al other to be most miserable and male-content That this is true doe but note the very first figure character or letter which wee teache our children in their infancie is it not the Crosse beginning with all pouertie going on with anguishe trouble and greefe and ending with like dolorous death For example see what was the ende of Socrates Anaxagoras who by sentence and decree of the Senate of their countreys were both miserablie poisoned Thales likewise who died with thirst Zeno who was slaine by commandement of the Tyrant Phalaris Anaxarchus who was detestably murdered by the commandement of Nicocreon The great Philosopher and most singular Mathematician Archimides who was slaine by the souldiers of Marcellus And Pythagoras likewise whoe was slaine in companie of three score of his Schollers Thinke on the glorious recompence made to the Philosopher Plato when after his long trauaile for the cause publike he was in the end sold as a slaue by Dionisius the Tyrant Anacharsis died suddenlie Diodorus died in despight because he coulde not resolue a question which was proposed to him by the Philosopher Stilpo Aristotle when he saw himselfe out of credit with Alexander he drowned himselfe in Chalcide in the riuer Eurypus and Calisthenes his scholler was cast forth of the windowes Cicero had his hed and handes cut off and his toong pulled out hauing beene before banished from Rome where he sawe his house ruined his so deerly beloued daughter ded before his face and his wife in the armes of his vtter aduersary Seneca died a violent and outragious death Auerroes the great commenter of Aristotle was broken with a wheele that passed ouer his bodie Iohannes Scotus making his Lecture in England was stabbed to death by his schollers with their penkniues But leauing these auncient matters and to speake of them of our time let vs consider the death of Hermolaus Barbarus who was banished from the Signorie of Venice because without the consent of them he had accepted the Patriarches authority of Aquilea he died by a cole that tooke holde vnder one of his toes Domitius Calderinus died also of the plague The learned counceller or peace-maker was burned after he was dead because they coulde not catch him in his life time Angelus Politianus ended his daies beating his head against the walles Sauanarola was burned at Florence by the commandment of Pope Alexander Peter Lion of Spoleta was throwne into a well Iohannes Tissierus died in an hospitall Erasmus in exile The French Poet in like manner by the miserable and implacable sute of the court euen in his oldest yeares The Lord Iohn Fraunces Pica Mirandula
to affirme that this worlde is a very Cage or mine of such people And if all they which holde of that race would suffer themselues to be written in the rowle or paper belonging to the Prince of fooles or bee registred in the Abbey of these happy people there should not neede so much strife and lawe for calling one another sot or foole For in sooth it is a name that may beseeme the very greatest and wisest in the worlde yea were it to the great king Salomon who albeit he only among the Hebrewes bare the title of wise yet beside that hee well deserued the name of a foole when he sacrifised to Idols and entertained so long such a great number of Concubines Also of this name were capable the seuen Sages whom ambitious and lying Greece vaunted to bring forth and nourish their actions and behauior Cicero affirmeth that whosoeuer will lightly runne ouer and cull them out shall finde them to be more full of follie then wit How many haue beene seene since the Creation of the worlde that haue escaped infinite daungers only by counterfeiting folly What might they more haue doone if they had beene fooles indeed when the onlye shaddowe was to them the cause of such good How many haue we knowne and heard of that haue beene absolued of theftes murders and other misdeeds by supposition that they indeed were fooles Thinke yee that heauen dooth customablye giue so faire and excellent priuiledges to others as to people diuine and celestiall The farther I wade in contemplation of follie the more pleasing I finde it and garnished with all faire commodities See howe a foole troubles him selfe with a kingdomes affaires or fortifiyng of a Cittye See what paine he puts himselfe to in gouerning an housholde or pertaking with one Prince or other yet notwithstanding we see such as are esteemed the wisest to iniury themselues heereby and wexe very olde with such molestations of the minde May it please ye to vnderstand the difference which I finde betweene the foole and wise man Regard the passions and affections in them both First of all the foole is not any thing curious in his meate or drinke neyther cares for fine decking and clothing himselfe they whom we call wise neuer haue enough and neuer are satisfied with the goods of this world neither can all humane industry or the very goddesse aboūdance with hir great Cornet suffice their insatiable desires Now iudge hereby which of these two come neerest the obseruation of Gods commandement who forbiddeth vs in his Gospell not to be carefull for our food or raiment Beside the foole makes no esteeme of honours and worldly dignities he contemns great preheminences refusing the places and seates honourable in magnificent companies Contrariwise they that holde themselues so wise seeke nothing at this day but worldly honour And to attaine superiour dignities they feare not to endure heat or cold they forget the discommoditie of great trauaile as also losse of rest by day and night to the hazard oftentimes of their liues so deerely beloued and by them held in such pretious account The foole feeles not himselfe prouoked with so many pricks of Fortune he meddles not with sights or combats he hath no Lawe-pleadings nor quarrels wherby to get or defend his goods he hath not such paine in attending on the Court as others haue to be entertained by one or other he yeelds not him self for the miserable requital of two or thre crowns a buckler to ten thousand bullets of shot musquets or harguebuzes he breaks not his neck in riding post after offices benefices or confiscations he languishes not in pursuing the loue or fauour of Ladies hee paies no taxe or tribute lastly he is not subiect to any one but liueth in perfect franchise and liberty He is permitted and licensed to speake what himselfe thinks good touching the dealings of Princes priuate persons without encurring thereby any danger of imprisonment or corporall punishment He hath no need of Rhethoricall cunning to make him selfe attentiuely listened vnto but bestowes on each one the ioyous pastimes of his meriments I stand in need of a whole sourse of eloquence wherewith I might thorowlie paint foorth and discipher the honest vertues of most pretious follie the contrary whereof hath beene cause of the punishing of an hundred thousand iniuries and of ouerthrowing the intelligence and actions of many great personages I find that Fortune hath euermore beene very carefull in bestowing perticular aide vpon fooles and defended them as her most deere children frō infinite perils and dangers Likewise wee see by experience that the greater part of fooles liue longer and more happily then the wise doe Wherefore should we thinke this to be so but because they giue not themselues to any melancholie neuer meddle with Lawe-causes debates or quarrels neither mollest themselues with matters publique or priuate which makes me say and affirm vnto ye that folly euen as Poesie is somewhat celestiall and filleth the hartes of her children with a certaine spirite of prophesie and diuine furie by meanes wherof they seeme agreeable to euery one and purchase very great esteeme and fauour in the eies of Princes You shall finde by experience that many great wealthy Lords turne their faces from company and conference with wise men yea such as are saide to haue the greatest learning that they may intertaine pleasure with a foole and commune familiarlie with him yea sometimes they will leaue their best and most auncient seruantes or fauorites to delight and bestow countenance on the first foole that comes before them Is it not maruellous that we shall neuer see a man of great knowledge indeede but hath some part of this pretious folly in him Though ye woulde produce neuer so many learned men or of what profession else so euerye please be they Philosophers Orators Painters Statuaries Musitians Builders yet they haue some tast heereof and generally all people of learning whatsoeuer Where shall yee finde one singular Poet at this day that doth not participate in this folly Euery one knoweth that the Poet deepest skild therein is accounted most excellent And if the greate Philosopher Plato had not had more then a reasonable portion of this diuine folly thinke yee that he had deliuered so many faire excellent matters which we haue at this day after his maner And yet you are ashamed to be accounted or called fools The inuenter of the Italian Cardes whereat they haue a play or pastime called Tarault did in my cōceit very ingeniouslie when he put the Deniers or monyes and Bastons or clubs in combate togither as the very encountring of force and iustice But yet he deserued more praise for giuing in this play the most honourable place to the foole as we do to the Ace which we should rather call Nars that in dutch signifieth a Foole. This deuiser well noted the great seruitude whereto they most commonly are subiect that couet a place
companion to her husband only but indeed Ladye and mistresse ouer her house and familie And if for example the reports of fundry places might serue I would aboue all other willinglie perswade ye to this one That I being one day at Lions deuising priuately with a very faire and young woman as is the manner in this Citty heere we entred into talke concerning the braue fashion of a garment which one of his neighbours ware and hadde caused newly to be made When I gaue her councell to haue such another she began to sigh maruelouslie Now I knew her husband to be rich inough able to content her in a greater desire and not to giue her one but a doozen farre better wherefore Lady quoth I why speake ye not to your husband who can and will heerein satisfie ye She answered she durst not neither would she require it bicause she had not yet as so wel deserued but if it pleased God to fauour her so much as to sende her one or twoe sweet yong babes she shoulde haue the meanes to aske of him other thinges then a new gowne It happened according to her wishe that a yeere after she was deliuered of two male children at one burthen so soone as she saw her desire accomplished she who before had beene so kind and louing to her husband began to holde all her housholde in such subiection as the poore Gentleman had no better helpe but euen to forsake his house now beholde what fruite comes by this kind of domesticall increase As for the aduantages that ensue by barrennesse I finde so great a number of them as it is impossible for me to acquaint yee with them all First of all if thou haue a barren wife consider thou shalt not need to doe as many doe nursse other folks childreÌ„ It shall not displease thee to heare the stir she makes when thy wife is sicke with childe nor shalt thou abide the painefull trouble during the month of her downe-liyng nor shalt thou heare the cryinges and cradle-noise to waken thee out of thy first sleepe Thou shalt bee free from the strifes and perpetuall molestations of iniurious and vnnaturall nursses And to conclude thou shalt not feele that yikesome anguish in seeing them die by thee or in thy presence Witnesse heereof let serue the wise Solon who being one day gone to visite his friend Thales that then for more quietnes of studie was gone not far off froÌ„ the Citty of Myletum And seeing no children goe vp and downe before his house he maruelled greatlie thereat and conceiued but rudely of Thales that hee hadde no care of linage to ensue him Thales within few daies after would returne the like to his companion and came to visite him euen in his lodging And while they discoursed on many thinges there entred to them a yong Lad who before hadde beene instructed for the purpose by Thales he said that he was come from Athens to see the Phylosopher and to enquire if he would command him any thing thither for which cause only came nowe to salute him Solon dilligentlie enquired of him if hee knew any matter of newes and how all things fared at Athens The yong youth answered he knewe no other thing but the death of an honest wise yong man for whom all the Cittie mourned and lamented at his departing because he was saide to be the son of a wise Philosopher of that Cyttie who as then was absent and euery one accounted well of him but his name he had then vtterlie forgotten O poor and vnhappie father cried out Solon being mooued with feare and trembling Then afterwarde cariyng suspition of his owne sonne in his minde he could not forbeare from demaunding if perhaps the name of the dead childes father was not Solon he answered that it was Solon for so he heard him called Then the poore Philosopher began to weepe and to beate his head against the faire walles so that if he had not swouned in the place he was in danger had the doores beene open to haue runne into the fieldes and there haue raunged vp and downe as madde or frantike Thales seeing himselfe reuenged and that he had preuailed enough against him after he had dawned him to remembrance by the helpe of vinager and colde water he saide Now thou seest Solon the cause which hath with-held me so carefully from listening to the desire of children in that it can so easily offend the sence of such a man as thou art whome I esteemed the firmest and most constant in the worlde Afterward he let him vnderstand the fallacie to shew him whence proceeded his slender affection to haue any linage I would faine learne of him that is so earnestlie this way addicted how doth a woman knowe what her children will be when shee hath brought them foorth For but by the issue of women had euer the Romaine Empire beene tormented with such horrible monsters as were Caligula Nero Commodus and Bascianus Had they euer liued vppon the earth if Marcus Antonius Domitian and Septimius had not byn married or at least had met with barren women Augustus would often wish that of his wiues hee might neuer haue children and woulde many times call his daughter and Neece two horse-leaches that destroied and eate vppe his daies with great and extreame greefes The selfe-same words might poor Agripina haue vsed who was mother to the cruel and hated Nero. Likewise the good father to Phraates K. of Parthia when he beheld his sonne so cruelly slain and at length without any remorse of conscience the homicidiall sworde to be sheathed in his owne poore and ouer-wearied aged bodie Epaminondas a king of so high spirit and most noble wisedome liued a long time without marriyng when being one day reproched and bearded by Pelops as in the way of reprehension for making no regard of procreation of children for aide of the common wealth which already declined and fell to ruine he returned him this quicke answer Take heed that thou hast not doone worse than I for the Common wealth by such seed as thou shalt leaue behind thee Heereon they elected one of his sonnes who was of such an infamous and wicked disposition as he hoped for nothing more then to bring all thinges to confusion What shall I say of Mithridates who by desire to succeede in the kingdome of Pontus seeing the ambushes he hadde secretly prepared against his father sorted to none effect made open warre against him assailed him very dishonorably for to depose him And what may be said of Lotharius sonne to K. Lewes who hauing suspition that he was not so well beloued as his brother Charles found the meanes to imprison his father I might in this place produce the deede of C. Thuranius Antipater of Galâ—en sonne to the Emperour Valerian and of infinite other homicides or rather paricides But I will not trouble yee with multitude of examples in a matter not to bee any way
minding such matters For the poore sicke man considering that he is weake and diseased will preserue himselfe very dilligentlie from al manner of excesse and liue more soberly then can the stiffest and strongest composed bodies These kind of men are such to whom oftentimes it happeneth thorow the ouer-much fiercenesse of their good disposition and strength that boldlie or carelesly they oppose themselues againste a thousand greefes perils and daungers vsing meates prohibited for the health of man taking the corrupted ayre in the euening or else without any need will wander into tempests raine snow winde stormes and thus aduenture themselues from morning to night And the worse is their successe thorowe the confidence which they repose in their bodies which they feeling to be strong and lustie feare not without any discretion to fight heere with one there to smite an other spoile outrage and commit a thousand euils Then what recompence haue they for al these They fall into the rightfull hande of Iustice who without any regard of valour strength dexteritie parents or riches makes them miserablie and shamefully to finish their daies before their expected time It is then great folly to desire strength and health of body so earnestlie seeing it is the cause of so many mishaps were it not onely but in regarde of the warres which we should neuer beholde so cruell or fierce but by the confidence that men suppose to be in their health and bodily strength wherewith great and wise Lordes vse to iest at each other and make as small account thereof as of balles running along the pent-house of a Tennis court For Teares Declamation 11. That it is better to weepe often then to laugh at any time NOt without great occasion is it that I must assuredlie by good right confesse the mourner to bee in better estate then the laugher seeing Salomon in his most holy Prouerbes hath lefte vs in writing that it is better to sleepe and repose in the house of sorrowe then in that of ioy and pleasure By laughter many soules haue beene seuered from their bodies to the infinite greefe of their good friends but by sadnesse not one only which I euer heard of at any time departed but well pleased Laughter hath euermore beene perticularlie proper to fooles mouthes or people without sence And it is not read in any one place of the holye Scripture that our blessed Sauiour euer laughed at any time but that he wept and sorrowed is to be found in sundry passages of the good and faithfull Euangelistes For this cause hath he promised eternall felicity to such as mourne and them that laugh he hath menaced with death To weepe is a signe of penitence and compunction whereto we are often inuited and exhorted by the voices of the holy Prophets but laughter hath beene the cause of mocking it selfe as the euident signe of ouermuch boldnes If we would make regard of the commodities ensuyng by teares howe many disdaines and howe many rages haue beene qualified by one little teare of the eie How manie poore louers haue they vnited and confirmed together that before liued not but in langour distresse How many storming hearts fierce and cruell one against another haue they brideled softened made gentle How many great and honest recompences haue beene obtained and measured by the waight of teares I am of this opinion that all the force and puissance of men assembled together cannot so soon winne or compasse what it would haue as one only teare can yea oftentimes it hath conqueringly obtained grace euen from obstinate and moste pittilesse persons For proofe heereof Heraclitus was alwaies more esteemed for his weeping then euer was Democritus for his laughing See how many thinges worthy of eternall memorie Crassus by this vertue accomplished purchasing the name of a scorner of vanities If we should need to produce the profit of teares often weeping Let vs consider that while our bodies are but young and tender they make them to grow and encrease Wherefore many Nursses in regard heereof are not very hastie to quiet their infantes when they lie criyng in the Cradle but by these meanes suffer them to dilate and stretch forth their members for so they come to the suddener growth And if proofes should faile me against laughter I would content my selfe with this only of good Hyppocrates who hath left written that the diseases which ensue by accident of laughter without any manifest cause are the most difficult to be healed Let vs then set laughing apart seeing it bringeth such offence to man and agreeth not with his honestie and grauitie beside we finde not at this daie among so many lamentable ruines where any place or oportunity for laughing indeed may be graunted or suffered And let vs conclude that laughter wrinkles and makes olde the face counterfeits the person makes the heart ake woundeth the lungs inwards of the bellie so that after long laughing many greefs doe follow whereof we neuer make doubt till wee feele them So that if laughter bee not refrained it makes the pallat of the mouth to fall the throte sore the voice hoarse and oft times shakes the body verie greeuously VVherfore very excellently said the wise man that the end of laughter was greefe and teares which ordinarilie endureth more space of time hath a longer taile behinde it than euer had mourning But the end of continuall teares after this mortall life is ioy and perpetual delectation which neuer hath ending and such as are promised by him who is onely truth it selfe For Dearth Declamation 12. That Scarsitie is better than aboundance ANy man of common sence and opinion will assure yee that for the ease and better estate of his person as also continuance of his pleasures aboundance or earthly goods ought well to be had in request But for one voluptuous man ye shall finde of this opinion I will furnish yee with an hundred of very singular spirit and perfect iudgement that liberally will maintaine the fertillitie and aboundance of goodes in this worlde is the mother and nursse of all euils enemie to all modesty and honestie and cheefe aduersarie to sobrietie The good Lady of Henault bemoned the great Dearth which the turbulence of the warres had caused and among other thinges she wept for the fertillitie of the former yeares past when as she called to minde what store of corne and wines she had and that before a weeke would be past both shee and all hir house shoulde scant tell where to gette foode or drinke once a day But the sober and frugal Solon-nist saith well to the contrarie that the lesse store of victuals are in a contrey the lesse is the insolence of the inhabitāts who in time of aboundance disdain the seruice of their superiors then hath a man greater paine to get a seruant how poore soeuer or bad disposed he be then a man of wisedome well skilde in good letters Moreouer what else